December 5, 2025 • 55 mins
What if the “difficult” child isn’t difficult at all—but unseen, unheard, or simply in need of glasses? We sit down with Tamara and Dania of TD Training and Growth Unboxed to unpack how playful teaching, trauma-aware practice, and better language can transform early learning into a place where every child belongs. They don’t just work with kids; they teach the teachers and lift up the parents, creating a circle of support that starts with relationship and grows into real results.
Tamara and Dania lay out a practical triage mindset for classrooms—offer connection first, then assess needs, and bring in targeted services without shame.
If you’re a parent, you’ll feel seen—and equipped. If you’re a teacher, you’ll get usable strategies to include, not exclude, even on hard days. And if you’re a leader, you’ll learn how thoughtful words, playful PD, and strong family partnerships change outcomes.
Listen to feel hopeful about early childhood education again, and to pick up simple steps that make a big difference at home and at school. If this conversation resonates, you can subscribe, share it with a fellow educator or parent, and leave a review to help more people find the show.
Look up, and let's elevate!
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Episode Transcript
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unknown (00:02):
Every day.
Elevate.
Every day.
Elevate.
Every day.
SPEAKER_01 (00:14):
Hey, it's Jen the Builder.
And the Corey.
And we are on Take the Elevatorfor another exciting episode.
Promise you that.
SPEAKER_04 (00:22):
Indeed.
And we are going to have a blasttoday.
I guarantee it because.
Well, let's go back, James.
Because I'm just excitedoverall, first and foremost.
Something really excitinghappened this past week.
And um I just really would loveto highlight that.
Jim, what did you do Fridaynight?
SPEAKER_01 (00:42):
I totally forgot about that.
So Friday night, uh, we areinvited to speak.
Um I'm so excited, I can't eventhink of the name of the group.
We were in Victorville.
Thank you.
A greater hope in Victorville.
And it was over Zoom, and therewas about 150 people that showed
up for an hour.
We got to speak about Gen Co,highlighting who we are as
(01:05):
children's book authors.
And it just opened up to so manydifferent topics.
Like everyone just kept wantingto ask questions.
They got curious about ourmarriage, our challenges.
How did we meet?
Um, what skills do they need?
Like it just went all over andit was beautiful.
(01:26):
And I was just, this is I waslike, this is what I want to do
for the rest of my life.
SPEAKER_04 (01:34):
Absolutely.
And so, with that being said, wewere guests for uh that
particular situation.
And today we have some guests ofour own.
And I'm excited about these twoguests because we met them at
the children's networkingconference.
And what a joy to meet twopeople who are so passionate
about what they do andunderstand what they're doing.
(01:56):
You know, we have a lot ofpeople today doing jobs that
they have no clue what they'redoing.
But these two people, I canhonestly say, know exactly what
they're doing.
SPEAKER_01 (02:05):
You know what that reminds me.
I know you're gonna introducethem.
When you introduce them, there'sthis question that I use with
adult professionals, and it'show would you describe your job
to a five-year-old?
And I just that is such apowerful question because you
let go of titles and the bigwords, and you get to the heart
of what you're doing and whyyou're doing it.
(02:27):
So I'm gonna leave it up to youto introduce them because I I
believe you met them before Idid.
SPEAKER_04 (02:32):
I we met them at the same time, but I, you know, I do
deep dives on people, and Ireally pay attention to what
they're saying and what they'renot saying.
And so that's really key for me.
So today we're gonna have twoindividuals, uh, and I'm gonna
stop calling them individuals.
I'm just calling them who theyare.
This is Tamara and Dania.
And again, two awesome peoplewho have um a long history, 30
(02:56):
years in one, 26 or 28 inanother one with uh early
childhood development and uhdegreed up the wazoo.
Just just just know there's somedoctorates, there's some
masters, there's a couple ofmasters, I believe.
SPEAKER_01 (03:12):
There's a whole lot of letters flying in this video.
MD, LD, P D.
SPEAKER_04 (03:17):
That's right, and then T D.
And we'll get into that a littlebit later.
So, guys, welcome on in thevideo.
Welcome.
SPEAKER_00 (03:25):
It's awesome to be here.
SPEAKER_04 (03:26):
Yeah, yeah.
Tell us, tell us about yourself,first of all.
We'll start with Tamara, and youjust tell us what you want us to
know, getting to know you.
That way we can have an idea ofwho we who we're talking to.
SPEAKER_02 (03:37):
What a broad question to ask.
Absolutely about you.
Whoa.
That's so broad about me.
Um, can we start with like theone question?
The one, what was I like as achild?
SPEAKER_01 (03:49):
Yeah, let's do that.
Let's do that.
Let's do warm-up, shall we?
Let's warm this up with the wordthat best describes you as a
kid.
SPEAKER_02 (04:00):
Um, I think if you ask my mom, she would say busy.
Busy.
Um, I I joke that my mom, when Iwas young, she wanted to have me
tested because she thought I wasI had ADD or something because I
would never stop.
Um my sister stopped her becauseI was just two, three.
I was just I was just young andshe was a little bit older.
(04:22):
But I think that I I've I'veconstantly just been busy.
And I think still to this day,I'm busy.
I continue to stay busy.
And then and my busy is withearly childhood education.
SPEAKER_04 (04:35):
That's what I'm talking about.
Tell us a little bit about thechildhood uh early childhood
education.
SPEAKER_02 (04:40):
So for me, I you know, I w I you asked that
question.
What how would a how would a Iwould describe my job to a
five-year-old?
Yeah.
Um, my nephews, when I was wewere in the car driving one day,
and they said, you know, what doyou do?
And I, you know, I described,well, I what do I do?
(05:01):
You know, at the time I was adirector of a preschool, and I
said, Well, I go into classroomsand I work with the teachers,
and I get to play in theclassroom, and I sit and do
play-doh, and I help a teacherwrite a lesson plan, and I and
then I go to my night job andand I do this, and and they were
like, So you teach teachers?
SPEAKER_01 (05:21):
There you go.
SPEAKER_02 (05:22):
And I said, Exactly.
Yeah, I teach teachers, and andthat was the end.
SPEAKER_04 (05:28):
Nice.
SPEAKER_02 (05:29):
So I teach I teach teachers.
SPEAKER_04 (05:31):
She teaches, teaches part-time, and then she's an
adult five-year-old at times.
SPEAKER_02 (05:37):
Right.
Basically, I think can I amadult five-year-old even when
I'm teaching teachers?
Nice.
You ask them.
Yeah, I think that would I thinkthat would that would sum it up.
SPEAKER_01 (05:44):
I would they look at me sometimes like I think that's
one of the best ways to teachadults actually is playfulness
and fun and bringing them backand bringing back childhood
activities.
I think it works the bestbecause you're out of your head
and you're in an area of playwhere creativity and imagination
just runs rampant.
SPEAKER_02 (06:05):
The disequilibrium.
That's where we learn best.
And if we can get everybody justto relax and let it go and just
say, Hey, relax.
I just want to learn new things.
SPEAKER_04 (06:16):
I'm gonna double back for uh Dania with that
question.
I'm gonna jump to the next oneand then we'll double back.
Okay.
Uh, what did you always dream ofbecoming?
SPEAKER_00 (06:26):
Um, since I was um five, it was a teacher.
Nice.
I've never not wanted to be ateacher.
I think when I was three, one ofthe little artworks that my mom
had said nurse.
I don't know why.
We were probably doing communityhelpers at that point.
I don't know.
But from kindergarten on,teacher, never anything else.
(06:48):
Never anything else.
Never.
Did you ever play teacher goingup?
Yeah.
Isn't that fun?
Oh god, I was everybody'steacher, and you sit down right
here and you do this and you dothat.
I mean, little cousins andpeople stop playing with me
because I'm always making themtake classes.
SPEAKER_01 (07:05):
My my cousins stop playing we too.
They're like, are we reallydoing a full day of school?
Yes, we're all from schooltoday.
SPEAKER_00 (07:13):
Exactly.
No, I I had a coordinated recesstime.
I don't know why anybody wascomplaining, but you know, there
was a schedule.
There was always a schedule whenit comes to me.
SPEAKER_04 (07:22):
So we'll go ahead and answer that first question
for you now, Daniel.
Um, what word describes you uhwho you were as a kid?
Bossy.
Bossy, busy and bossy.
SPEAKER_00 (07:34):
Okay, busy and bossy, and that is changed.
I have not changed.
My mom will tell you the samething.
Anyone who knows me from back inthe day to now will tell you the
same.
Yeah, we're yeah, we're thesame.
But I was bossy, and um, I thinka a child went up to my mom at
some point at in the afterschool program.
She came to pick me up, and um,he came up to her.
I oh no, it was preschool andsaid, Uh, your daughter is
(07:57):
bossy.
And my mom was like, uh, I'msorry.
Because what could she say?
She knew, she knew.
Don't be bossy, baby.
No, she wasn't gonna say thatbecause she always did want me
to have the upper hand.
So bossy, bossy remained,remained at all times.
SPEAKER_01 (08:14):
So, how would you describe your job to a
five-year-old then?
SPEAKER_00 (08:18):
Um, at this point, um, as I speak to my son, and he
wants to know what did you dotoday and how did you do it, and
now that sounds like too muchwork, mom, and don't do that no
more.
Um, I tell him now, I'm just theboss of the teachers, and I get
to help them.
And that seems to satisfy thatquestion.
(08:39):
No, just the boss of theteachers.
SPEAKER_01 (08:41):
I love that.
How I would describe my job to afive-year-old might be I help
bosses be nice people.
SPEAKER_00 (08:49):
Oh, I like that one.
I like that one.
SPEAKER_01 (08:52):
So important.
Okay.
So I hear teacher, what did youwant to become?
Um, Tamara.
SPEAKER_02 (08:59):
I had no, I didn't, you know, when I was thinking
about it, I I don't really haveI I'm more of a moment-to-moment
person.
Yeah.
So when I was younger, I was anathlete.
So my whole focus was in themoment.
I was an athlete in the moment.
So it kind of comes to me as itcomes.
So I I was I played sports.
So I played sports, and then Ibecame a teacher.
(09:20):
And that's that's where I go.
I go where it takes me.
SPEAKER_04 (09:23):
What sports were you involved in?
SPEAKER_02 (09:25):
Oh, soccer, volleyball, track and field, um,
basketball.
Serious athlete.
Uh yeah.
I went to I I had a scholarshipon in track and field leaving
out of high school.
SPEAKER_01 (09:38):
Okay.
So that's something that you andCorey have in common.
Uh, I played um softball andvolleyball.
I was captain of the Pep Club.
Um, and all four years ofplaying.
Right.
All four years of playing, I wasmost inspirational.
Yes, but we need the I was thatperson.
(09:59):
We need the inspirationalpeople.
Okay, so speaking ofinspiration, I'm wondering what
experiences shaped your passionfor early education, for
teaching young learners, opposedto the older ones, because
there's a huge difference inthat.
SPEAKER_00 (10:18):
Huge difference, huge difference.
I know when I first said Iwanted to be a teacher, it was
modeled after two teachers thatI had that changed the world for
me.
And it wasn't that they didanything in particular other
than they knew me.
And and and you could tell thatthey knew me and they poured
into me because they knew me.
Um, I went to a very small umChristian school as as growing
(10:42):
up.
And so, you know, there wasn't awhole lot of, you know, not a
lot of outside influence all thetime and stuff like that.
But that was also back in theday when my teacher could call
my mom and be like, yeah,Daniel's, you know, go in the
house with me and you know, youcan pick her up later, you know,
and it no second thought.
Yeah, no second thought aboutit.
And so I wanted to be my fourthgrade teacher when I I I wanted
(11:04):
to be my kindergarten teacherbecause she was just cool.
Okay.
But I wanted to be my fourthgrade teacher because she was
she was all there.
She did everything and she didstuff outside of work that was
really cool, and you know,that's who I wanted to be.
And then one day I did, um I wasassigned the fourth grade Sunday
(11:25):
school class.
Mm-mm.
Mm-mm.
After that, it was like we'regonna take this down a bunch.
And I loved being in thenursery.
And so then that that age groupthat finished attracting me
right there, and it's alwaysbeen that ever since.
And and being their sense ofwonder, being the first one to
(11:48):
catch the aha moment and beingtheir first introduction to how
wonderful school can be.
That's what I want it to be.
SPEAKER_01 (11:55):
It's powerful.
I'm curious.
Your fourth grade teacher, wereyou able to keep in touch with
her?
SPEAKER_00 (12:01):
And some, yeah, okay.
Some um, my mom just saying saidthat she posted something on
Facebook and the teacher saw itand was like, I always knew.
Oh, so that's special.
Yeah, it's really sweet.
SPEAKER_01 (12:16):
That's cool.
So, Damera, we're gonna have youanswer this same question after
you're done.
If you could just lead us intohow you two have come together
and what you two together areabout.
Because we're talking to a teamof women, it wasn't just happen
chance, like, oh, we have you,and then we have you, but this
is a team um effort going on.
SPEAKER_02 (12:36):
Yeah.
So um, I'm actually opposite ofDaniel.
I think my my poll to the to thefield is through um the opposite
of the the teachers that thatweren't there.
So I see um I didn't have goodexperiences with teachers.
(12:56):
I didn't I don't have thatteacher to look back on.
I mean there was there was acouple, um, but mostly just the
children that are left behind.
I don't want I want the childrento be seen and heard and all of
them say more, please.
So it was it was the the momentswhere you know that um there's
(13:17):
things going on and you thetrauma.
You know, there's children withtrauma, um children that need to
be heard and seen.
That's that's the biggest thing.
I don't even know.
I guess I'm feeling a littleemotional right now.
Yeah, you're where that comesfrom.
SPEAKER_00 (13:31):
Um I don't know where that came from.
I'm looking for it.
I'm over here willing her lip tonot quiver.
Don't do it.
SPEAKER_02 (13:37):
Don't do it, don't do it.
Um, no, I think um so inthinking about that, you know.
Um my dissertation is all aboutI I was, you know, I've been
going all around this.
Um there is they there's a lotof that talk about you come to
the field to make a difference,you know, why what's your what
(13:57):
is your why?
What is your why?
And then I was I I talk aboutwhat's your what?
What is your what?
Um so I want to encouragepeople, uh the people that I'm
teaching, the teachers that I'mteaching, we need to see
everyone.
There's there's students,there's children.
(14:17):
I came to the field because weneed to make a difference.
And that that's so cliche.
That's so cliche.
Um but we come in and I don'twant any students to be facing
the wall when everyone else islooking the other direction.
So nobody in timeout, yeah,nobody excluded.
SPEAKER_04 (14:41):
Right.
I I gotta jump in there becauseJen, I've shared this with you
uh a little bit, but you guysdon't know this about me.
I was the kid left behind.
I was the kid that wasostracized or in the other room
while everybody was doing and Ididn't understand why.
And of course, I'm not gonna sayI was the angel in the
situation, but I was just a veryhyper high energy, high-level
(15:07):
producing type of kid.
And so if you have kids that arenot as active and as as hyper as
I was, then I'm the distraction.
And um, so that speaks volumesto me.
I I look back now and I and Isay to myself, why didn't this
teacher just say, hey, gooutside and run around the
(15:27):
football field a couple of timesand come back in?
So I could just get some of thatout.
SPEAKER_00 (15:31):
See, and my question would be, why didn't that
teacher step up and give youwhat you needed?
That's where I would be at inthat situation.
That and that's what we areteaching teachers to do is these
children are not to be excluded,but to be even more included
than you would ever imaginebecause that's what they're
(15:51):
looking for.
SPEAKER_03 (15:52):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (15:52):
They're looking for you to include them.
How are you gonna step up yourgame to include them?
SPEAKER_02 (15:58):
That child.
So you are the reason you arethe child that Dane and I teach
to.
Right, right.
SPEAKER_04 (16:05):
And I think that's I'm starting to see the
underlying connection and whatyou're doing and how you express
that.
So yeah, that's good stuff.
SPEAKER_02 (16:14):
Which leads us into how Dane and I are, I mean, Dani
and I came together throughthrough our jobs.
We met through our jobs earlyon.
We met early on in our job injust connecting.
Um not really connecting, but wewere, hey, how you doing?
Like, and then later I'm good,thank you.
You're good, thank you.
(16:35):
Um, and later when we wereactually had the opportunity to
work closely together, um, justuh two and a half years ago, we
we connected uh through our job,and um through that we started
realizing that we are on thesame page, who we are basically
the same person, um, with a lotof the same ideas, working
(16:58):
towards the same goals, and weneed to really harness that
harness that and grow it.
Um, and we have something.
So that's where we started.
And and only one year ago did wereally start to do that.
SPEAKER_04 (17:15):
Nice.
SPEAKER_02 (17:15):
Can you tell us the name of the company that you've
so we we have created uh T Dtraining and development, early
childhood training anddevelopment.
So T D training and developmentand Tamara and Dania.
Uh T and D right there.
SPEAKER_00 (17:31):
And then our government name, because you
have to have one of those.
Yeah, our government name is T Duh Growth Unboxed.
Growth Unboxed.
SPEAKER_02 (17:40):
You know, because you have to have that that LLC
name.
You know, and yeah, you want tohear a funny story of how we we
determine that name.
SPEAKER_01 (17:49):
Yeah, we'd like to hear.
SPEAKER_02 (17:51):
We like funny stories because you know we're
we're very playful.
So um in our classes, we alwaysdo you know, those wheels where
you put everybody's name onthere to see who gets to win.
Well, the way that we chose ourLLC name, we couldn't decide
what we wanted it to be.
So instead of the wheel, there'sthere's another app where you
can do a duck race.
SPEAKER_00 (18:09):
So we put all of our ideas onto this duck race.
And it was only ideas that nomatter what won, we were gonna
be okay with.
SPEAKER_01 (18:17):
Yes, yes.
How many ducks were there?
Six.
SPEAKER_00 (18:20):
Um, no, there was a lot more than six.
SPEAKER_01 (18:22):
I think that we narrowed it.
Okay, maybe seven.
SPEAKER_00 (18:24):
No, there was a lot more than six.
You said maybe seven.
No, it was double-digit ducknews.
SPEAKER_02 (18:30):
We had all the ducks race, um, and they're like um,
and then so the duck that won,we we didn't even argue, it
became that name.
So that's how we determined ourgrowth scene.
Unbox on box growth on boxgrowth on boxes, our LLC.
Got it, man.
SPEAKER_00 (18:48):
So that's and everything starts with T D.
Everything, yeah no matter what.
Touchdown.
It is a touchdown.
SPEAKER_02 (18:55):
It is, it is winning.
I like it.
SPEAKER_01 (18:58):
You know, one of the reasons why we're so excited to
have you here is we have apassion for children as well.
And our our if we had to put inone sentence, I think it would
be just where kids can be kidsagain, especially in the world
of today.
We've we've robbed them ofchildhood, the ability to play
and to explore.
(19:19):
We've kind of shut them down ortheir voices and filled it with
other voices that they find onthe internet, TikTok, whatever
that is.
Um, and we have a lot oflisteners who are young parents
and um young kiddos.
A lot of the feedback we get isactually from them, and they
have kids who are listening tothis podcast.
(19:40):
So I want to ask T D GrowthUnboxed, um, what what words of
wisdom, what love letter do youwant to give to the parents and
to the kids um with a focus onum teaching your kids at a young
age?
SPEAKER_00 (19:59):
You want me to go?
I can start.
Um number one, we always thelove, the first love letter is
to that parent to tell themyou're okay.
You're okay.
You're doing this and you'regonna do keep doing this.
Don't give up doing this foryour baby.
Whatever it is that you'retrying to do for your baby, keep
(20:19):
going.
No, you know, and it it thereare nights when it's hard, and
there's times when you're tired.
Keep going.
Okay.
Um give them what you can andthen seek out those who can give
them the rest.
Yes, because you it's it is nota one-man job.
Sure.
There's nowhere near a one-manjob.
(20:41):
So we start with um upliftingthat parent, and then my my tea
over here comes running in toplay with that kid.
SPEAKER_02 (20:50):
That's what it is, and play.
Remember the play, remember yourown play.
Remember to be just a kid.
Yeah.
I think that's what they theywant that.
They want to be acknowledgedwhen they say your name, like
answer.
You know, that's what they theythey want you to be there.
(21:12):
And it's and it's put down thephone.
Put down the phone for aconversation.
When they do a bid for bid forconversation, answer it.
And and take some time.
We we um have put in tacoFridays, fish taco Fridays that
include a game.
Um, we're working on executivefunction skills because we all
(21:34):
need a little help with ourexecutive function skills, just
you know, taking being able tosit and sit and attend for you
know on something besides ourphones.
I mean, I'm guilty.
I will look at my phone, I willscroll TikTok because I love it
and I shouldn't.
Um, but I do.
And so um just being able to sitand attend to a game for a
little while and and payattention to the people around
(21:57):
us for a little and just have aconversation and just have a
fish taco.
And have a fish taco.
SPEAKER_03 (22:04):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (22:04):
Because fish tacos are the best.
Oh my god.
Well, I have a we have aspecific place that we go that
it's like standing on the top ofLa Bufadora in Ensenada.
Yeah, every bite, and you'relike, I can hear the ocean, I
can hear the windows.
SPEAKER_04 (22:19):
Say more, I need to know where this place is.
SPEAKER_00 (22:21):
Yeah, we'll we'll talk after.
It's a beautiful place.
SPEAKER_04 (22:24):
So, who wants to tell how you met briefly and
what made how does it make sensefor you guys to collaborate?
SPEAKER_00 (22:32):
We met again.
Um, we were both um adjunctprofessors, and then we both
came together um as teachers onspecial assignment in a local
school district, and um weconnected.
It just by day three, it waslike, this is it, this is going
down.
This here is my other person.
(22:53):
This is this this she gets me,and I don't even know why yet,
but okay, let's do this.
And when we start bouncing ideasoff of each other and stuff like
that, it was it was incredible.
So we harnessed that energy inthat particular job and began to
presenting to teachers andmaking those connections and
relationships with thoseteachers and drew them in.
(23:16):
They just sucked it up and andwe just kept going.
And we don't do anything simple,we don't have good enough sense
enough to do anything simple andnot go hard, right?
No matter what.
So I love it.
We I mean, and so we took thatand decided we're gonna take
this on the road.
SPEAKER_02 (23:33):
And and we were yeah, because we were PDs were
like, hmm, do you want topresent at a conference?
So we did our first conferencein November of 2024.
SPEAKER_00 (23:43):
Um was it 2023, 2023, 2024?
SPEAKER_02 (23:46):
But we're like, hmm, this is kind of fun.
SPEAKER_00 (23:48):
You want to do more?
It was so funny because itwasn't her conference, she
didn't like that particulargenre of the learning domain.
And then you said it out loud.
You said math.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (24:00):
I'm getting used, I'm I'm I'm liking it more now.
SPEAKER_00 (24:03):
I'm bringing it to where I like it.
But we did a we did that one,and it was a small one.
Hey, let's do another one.
Okay, let's do another one, andthings just grew, and so that
connection stayed.
SPEAKER_02 (24:15):
It was on my bucket list.
Presenting at conferences waswas always on my bucket list,
but it wasn't something that Iwas willing to really go out and
do.
Like I didn't know where tostart.
SPEAKER_00 (24:26):
And I was already signed up for that conference,
and the person I was gonnapresent with was no longer
there.
Here comes Tamara, she's herenow.
Oh, let's do this.
Yeah, so that's what we did.
SPEAKER_02 (24:36):
Our connection was just there, it just made sense.
Yeah.
And when we started doing it,and it was like, what?
unknown (24:42):
Hmm.
SPEAKER_00 (24:43):
If it works, it worked.
It does.
It was only a few months beforewe really were finishing each
other's sentences, and and and Iknew her thoughts.
And you could do that whole girlthing across the room, and you
can read the I, and you're like,mm-hmm.
And that and that was it.
SPEAKER_02 (24:59):
You say finish each other's sentences.
I want to that song finish eachother's sandwiches.
Every time you say that, I justwant to say sandwiches.
Okay.
Feel free.
All right.
SPEAKER_01 (25:13):
All right.
So one of the questions that wealways bring up always has to do
with a story.
Um, story adds connection, itgives meaning to the work that
you do.
What's a story that you havethat has just stayed with you as
you're working with youngkiddos?
SPEAKER_02 (25:38):
I think for me, the story that always stays with me
um is a story of a child who umwas really struggling in the in
the class.
She was struggling so much withmaking friends, with connecting
with other other children.
Um, she was getting in she justwas behaviors, um, always having
(26:02):
a call mom because she wasstruggling and everybody was
getting upset with her.
Um, and later it turned out thatshe was having uh vision
problems.
She needed glasses.
And and this whole vision thingwas it was throwing her off.
She couldn't, it was angles.
So she was always looking.
She couldn't tell if the thingand this whole this one sensory
(26:27):
problem was causing all of theseother issues for her.
But nobody knew it.
We were going through all of theI was working with the mom and
we were working really closelyand doing everything that we can
to get her all the assessmentsand everything.
And it was I was working at aprivate preschool, so we didn't
have access to a lot of thingsbesides going other places.
Um, and but she, you know, had alot of incidences, and and I
(26:51):
remember she told me once, thislittle girl told me, I hate you
more than I hate my dad, and Ihate him a lot.
And that's always stuck with me.
And I was like, whoa, you'refour.
Um, but and and you know, andfast forward, and then just
remember thinking, we're gonnado everything that we can for
(27:12):
her, and you're gonna make itthrough this class, and you're
gonna and and the parents wereon board, but the parents were,
you know, they were rough, andone of the dad, the dad had a
his a disability, and the momwas a nurse and she was working
nights, so there was a lot ofthings going on in this family,
but we worked diligently withher and um and you know, fast
(27:33):
forward to her being now in inin high school, ninth grader,
and and she's suc she's verysuccessful, she's in drama, um,
she's just doing well.
So just thinking about what youdo early with the children, and
that goes back to my I'm notgonna leave anyone behind.
(27:58):
My why.
My I'm going to if you need whoneeds me the most, I'm gonna I'm
gonna pay attention to everysingle child.
I'm gonna individualize forevery child, but I'm especially
going to make sure that the onesthat need me the most are gonna
get as much as me as they can.
So that's where that's why thoseare the stories, and I and
(28:21):
there's a few.
There's quite a few.
And you know, I've been hit andkicked and punched, and that's
some of the best parts.
SPEAKER_04 (28:27):
I remember that.
Gene, I gotta say this realquick, and I'm sorry I've jumped
in there real quick, but um itit's these moments of
inspiration that just remindsyou why this system can be so
great, and and how we can havesomething successful for the
younger generation.
You know, I'm thinking in mymind, when did this start?
(28:50):
This had to have happened sometime ago, but that that's not
what was happening in my day andin my age.
So I I just feel like, man, howmuch further along could so many
people be if we had a MissTamara and a Miss Daniel in in
in their lives and able tosupport and jump in there and
recognize the situations thatwere really going on.
(29:13):
And I'm sure you guys areprobably wishing you had more
time, but I'm I'm gonna go offthe script just a little bit.
Just give me some information onhow this is continuing to drive
you and knowing what you knowbecause you get to see both
sides.
SPEAKER_02 (29:30):
How this drives us, how it keeps us moving and
going.
I we show up for work every day.
We give it, I mean, we give itall we give everything that we
can.
I I'm still, you know, behindthe scenes.
We go to meetings with thecounty, we we go to these
conferences, we talk to people.
Um, I don't want to take fromDania.
SPEAKER_00 (29:51):
Dania gets to share her her story.
I was I was just upset that youshared that one instead of one
one of my favorites, which wasthe I'm gonna.
Know you one?
Oh that creeped you out.
SPEAKER_02 (30:02):
A little girl that creeped me out and said, I'm
gonna know everything about you.
SPEAKER_00 (30:05):
She just stood in her face.
I'm gonna know everything aboutyou.
We can't share all the storiesright now.
I want you to share your story.
Oh gosh.
Um you made me forget it.
Put me on the spot like that.
SPEAKER_01 (30:18):
Well, while you're thinking about that, I'm
wondering if the ninth graderstill hates you more than she
does her dad.
SPEAKER_02 (30:24):
You know, after you know, I used I I stayed friends
with the mom and and I used togo and I haven't seen them in a
while.
Um, but I would afterwards, youknow, they they never they never
hold that.
Yeah.
In that moment she did.
In the moment when she had to bewith me because, you know, she
had stabbed somebody with a uhat the end of a flower, um, a
(30:46):
fake flower.
Um, she had to be with me, andshe did not like that.
But you know, the next day whenshe came, she gave me a hug, and
I gave her a hug, and I said,I'm so glad to see you today.
I'm glad you're at school.
SPEAKER_03 (30:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (31:00):
Because I was, because I wanted to see her
every day.
Um, and that's and she was happyto see me too.
Yeah.
Because in the moment she wasmad.
SPEAKER_01 (31:11):
I'm gonna say that uh it was such a good thing for
her to have that stabbing momentwith the flower because she was
able to then to work with youand have you in her life.
Because I'll just say this frommy perspective.
As a child who grew up in aFilipino home in the Asian
(31:32):
culture, we're we weren'tallowed to express our emotions.
So I'm wondering, as you'retalking about being left behind,
the kids who don't act out andit's all internal, there is a
form of getting left behindbecause we're pretending
everything's okay or we'reliving up to the standards of
(31:53):
what everyone else has set forthand have totally denied the
emotions we're feeling.
Right.
Right.
So that that's an interestingperspective when kids don't act
out.
What it's how is the systemensuring that children still
aren't left behind?
Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_02 (32:11):
No, yeah, for sure.
I think I've I think I've textedyou something about that before.
Um could we link the childrenthat aren't, you know,
expressing those emotions early?
Can we link that later toanxiety?
We're we're not able to expressit and we're holding it in.
(32:32):
Can you know, and laterdepression and depression, yeah.
You know, because we're not wedon't know how to name those
things.
We played a game at at at thenetwork where you were our whole
presentation at the network wasabout humor and social emotional
development.
And we talked to to the toeveryone about uh we had played
(32:53):
a game where you had to name theemotion that the other person
was acting out, and when theperson came up and they looked
at the card and they were like,I don't know how to act that
out.
We know what it feels like inthe moment when you're feeling
it, you know what it feels like.
But how do I act that if I'm notfeeling it?
You don't know.
(33:14):
So how do we so we've neverlearned how to really express
what we're feeling if we're notactually feeling it?
SPEAKER_00 (33:21):
Actually, it piggybacks off of what both of
you guys have said.
Um, we grew up and and it was,you know, you feel how I tell
you to feel, and that's prettymuch it.
You are a child, you don't knowwhat your feelings are.
Right.
And yes, actually, I do knowwhat my feelings are, I'm just
not allowed to say it.
(33:41):
Had we had any of those thingsthat Tamara worked with, that I
have worked with, it was yourteacher told your mom, you went
home, got in trouble, and younever had that problem again.
And that was it.
It was like when someone getsdiagnosed with ADHD or someone
gets diagnosed with autism.
We in in the culture, you gohome, you get punished, you
(34:04):
know, you get that on thebottom, and then you never had
autism again.
Not at school.
This is true, you know, younever did, you just didn't do
that anymore because you you'renot gonna act like that at
school, put my name on the lineas your mother, and you know,
all that kind of stuff.
So it was like, how many thingscould those kiddos have needed
(34:25):
that we didn't get because weweren't allowed to show what was
really going on and what did itdo to their body, their mind, as
they tried to process this stuffand had to hold it back.
Right.
And and what was really, reallygoing on with that, you know?
It's it was it's a it's a realdeep dive conversation because
we go into the cultural thingand we go into you know the
(34:48):
timing and the era that you'rein, and the you know, and then
there was when everybody hadADHD.
We all got rid of it, right?
You know, and it's like, no,they were four, they were not
ADD, you know, they didn't haveADD, you know, they had some
energy, you know, and that wasall there was to it.
SPEAKER_04 (35:03):
So yeah, I I oh, you just touched a real soft spot
for me because um, as I toldyou, I worked in the non-public
school system, and uh, we keptthose um individuals till 22,
and so a lot of them weremedicated.
And I remember thinking tomyself as these kids are lined
up to get meds on a daily basis,how many of these kids have been
(35:27):
misdiagnosed?
How many of these kids are um onsomething that's actually
hurting them opposed to helpingthem?
And so um it it makes you thinkand it pushes you to ask
questions.
And if you don't know who toask, right, you find yourself
just randomly asking questions.
Who can help you?
(35:48):
Can you give us a littleinformation on who can help you?
SPEAKER_02 (35:52):
Yeah.
Well, you would hope it's yourteachers first.
I mean, um that's where youthat's where you're gonna go.
The the the teachers are gonnabe your first um that's the
first defense, line of defense.
Um but you have the the thesystem of education that is
(36:14):
supposed to help you with thosethings.
And I think that we're stillnot, we're still not.
We're still not really, I thinkthere's still a disconnect in in
recognizing um and then there'ssome there's some disconnect
there in trauma and ADD andautism symptoms that are all
kind of overlapping.
SPEAKER_04 (36:35):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (36:36):
So, you know, I teach a I teach childhood stress
and trauma, and we say, look,these symptoms look a lot like
these symptoms.
So we are trying to teachteachers to recognize what does
this look like?
How do we connect with thesechildren?
And it's about buildingrelationships first, right?
Yeah.
So if we can start to build therelationships with students and
(36:58):
say, okay, this is what I'mseeing, and then building
relationships with the familiesso that we can encourage them to
start to reach out, whether it'swith the district or with other
services, because there's a lotof services, you know, in the
counties that we live in, um,that could help.
SPEAKER_03 (37:16):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (37:17):
And and getting over the stigma of where those
services may come from because Imay tell you about this service.
You hear it comes from thespecial ed department, and
parents shut down right then andthere.
You will not label my childspecial ed.
You will not do the specialservices.
It's like no label.
(37:37):
No, no, this service is, I mean,it's funded through this
department.
That's it.
You know, it doesn't give yourchild this label, but there are
some who can't even get past thetitle of the department that it
comes from.
And so that kid still missesout.
The mom did the right thing, theparents did the right thing
reaching out, and then we hitthis wall.
So there's lots of barriers thatcan be there that if you have
(38:00):
those relationships withfamilies, you can get them past
some of that stuff and reallyget those kiddos what they need
when they need it and not yearslater.
SPEAKER_01 (38:10):
Yeah.
I have a story actually of ateacher, and I just think one of
her superpowers was the abilityto triage, if you will.
Remember, my world's nursing.
Right.
So I wonder how are teacherstriaging and being able to give
first aid?
And then if it requiressomething of a more intense
(38:30):
intervention, do they know whereto go?
So my son had issues early on inschool and he had a speech
impediment.
And we had a school psychologistthat lived right across the
street from me, and she used tobabysit, well, not babysit, but
she would tutor my other myother child.
And she said, Jen, the schooldistrict is gonna try to do the
(38:54):
quick labeling of ADHD on him.
And that's not what it is.
He's it's something with hisspeech.
I get him checked maybe forhearing, look and see what
physiologically could behappening.
It does not it doesn't have tojump to the other stuff.
So sure enough, he had a hearingdeficit big time in his left
(39:16):
ear.
So got that fixed.
He was pulled into specialclasses for speech in special
ed.
And it was so funny.
We go grocery shopping becausehe's learning how to enunciate,
right?
He's all mom, and I said, Yes.
He says, Can I get some cheetos?
(39:36):
I was like, I want some cheetos.
Okay.
So what it ended up doing wasteaching him to have a British
accent.
I love it.
I love it.
But yeah, I'm just so gratefulthat my neighbor was able to
step in, give me that advicebecause as a parent, you're
like, what's wrong with mychild?
And it's just it's dishearteningwhen your kids coming back, not
(39:59):
learning, kids are making fun ofthem, and it's this whole thing.
And it can be something that asa parent you take personally.
Oh, yeah.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (40:07):
No, you're either underwhelmed or overwhelmed.
SPEAKER_01 (40:10):
Yeah.
So I'm just grateful for whenthe system does work because I
think it's designed to and itunderstands that there's flaws
and there's gaps.
But with people like you who arepassionate about bridging those
gaps and bringing the resourcesand giving the education and the
support, that warms my heartbecause it's so needed in the
(40:34):
world that we live in, wherewe're just so quick to diagnose,
so quick to prescribe.
And I'm gonna end this and I'mgonna hand it over.
Is um, I think there's power inthe way we name things too.
So, for example, as a nurse,when you come to end-of-life
stuff, there's a DNR, whichmeans do not resuscitate.
That messes with your mind.
(40:56):
Like you both have love for eachother, and at no time, I don't
think, would we naturally say, Idon't want you to bring her back
to life.
Right?
SPEAKER_00 (41:03):
I would be all over you.
SPEAKER_01 (41:05):
Right.
But like, no, no, keep trying.
Yeah, the thing now they'relooking at changing it to
another title, A and D, um, anatural death, understanding
that death is a part of life andthis is happening naturally.
Right.
So the naming convention is soimportant.
So special ed, yes, parents arelike, oh no, not my child, or I
(41:27):
don't like, you know, we evenlet's be intentional about the
way we name things.
SPEAKER_02 (41:32):
Yeah, I think they have changed, like in re you
know, they have specialservices, you know.
So we are changing the wording alot of the time now.
So I think that is something,and I think too, there are a lot
of there are still a lot ofpeople that are working for the
children.
Yeah, so I think that that thatwe are we have them out there.
(41:52):
Yes.
There are fighters.
There are they're I'm quitehopeful out there.
So I think it is good.
SPEAKER_04 (41:57):
Yeah, I I'm for sure it's uh some good fighters, good
workers out there.
As a matter of fact, I I had asuperhero uh for a fourth grade
teacher, Mr.
Geiger.
SPEAKER_02 (42:06):
Nice, right?
Jim Geiger.
I love it, and Mr.
Geiger.
SPEAKER_04 (42:10):
He was a military man, so uh my last name is Body,
and that's all he called me.
He never called me by my firstname.
Nice.
Body, you are not meeting themark today.
And I was just like, oh man, Ilike this like hardcore drill
sergeant type.
That's what you needed, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (42:26):
And then where are you gonna meet them where they
are?
SPEAKER_04 (42:28):
They were there then too.
It's just, you know, sometimesyou just have that moment where
you can't find them and you needthem.
It's like that police thing, youknow.
Where's the police when you'rewhen you're really they're never
here when you need them, right?
Exactly.
But you know, um, I'm gonna askthis last place.
I think we should do a part two,Jen.
What do you say?
SPEAKER_01 (42:48):
I I welcome it and would love it.
I'm looking at them like Yes,okay.
SPEAKER_00 (42:53):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (42:55):
Any reason to have them over again?
Okay, that works.
SPEAKER_04 (42:58):
Absolutely.
So, why does the the the workstill impact you so emotionally?
SPEAKER_00 (43:06):
Well, you you had more tears in your eyes than I.
Yes, I put that out there.
Really?
Yes, I did.
SPEAKER_04 (43:12):
I was right there with her though.
SPEAKER_00 (43:13):
Yeah, yes.
Yeah, so was I.
Yeah, you guys.
There's some cries here.
SPEAKER_02 (43:20):
Just so emotional.
Um, I think because it's it'swhat I do, it's what I love.
Yes that I continue to show upfor.
Um, it drives me.
You know, you always want to doyou I think it's one of those
things.
If you don't love what you do,don't do it.
SPEAKER_04 (43:35):
Don't do it.
SPEAKER_02 (43:36):
And and you need to know when you're done.
I keep telling teachers that,and I think that's one of the
things that teachers have atendency not to not to stop when
you're done.
When you just when you're done.
And I'm not done.
SPEAKER_00 (43:49):
And then not even not even close.
That's part of it.
Are we ever?
You know, no matter what theability level is in your heart,
if that's what your passion is,you're never done.
You're never done.
How how you um how youmanipulate that and come and
complete that differently may bedifferent, but we're never
(44:11):
really done.
And it's what Tamra said, it'swhat it drives us because we
know what it can look like whenit's successful.
And so we're gonna keep goinguntil everybody can experience
that success.
Because once you get a taste ofthat success, it's a wrap.
You're gonna do it until the dayis done.
SPEAKER_02 (44:34):
Just, you know, when when you walk into or when
you're walking, even no matterwhere you're going, if you're
just walking into a classroom orif you're walking by a
playground and the children seeyou and and they say, Hi, Miss
Tamra.
And you know, and they're likehappy to see you and they want
to hug you or just say hi.
(44:55):
It makes it everything that youdo worth it.
Yeah, everything that's all youneed.
Yeah, nothing else, just thatmakes it all worth it.
SPEAKER_00 (45:05):
For sure.
SPEAKER_01 (45:07):
I'm gonna agree.
We um had one of our friends, wecall them forest friends, a
little girl, and we saw heryesterday at an event.
And this sounds big-headed ofme, but I am saying exactly what
you're saying.
But in an in other words, andshe says, Hi, and she hugs you
and takes you in because there'sthat connection, right?
(45:28):
There's the relationship thatyou're talking about, and she
says, You look so fabulous.
Oh, and it was just so so sweet,you know, and just so uplifting.
And just to be in that kind ofrelationship with kids where
they're flourishing, where it'smore than survival and they're
(45:50):
getting to thrive, and you getto see their relationship with
her mom is just so beautiful,and you could see healthy
parenting happening.
And so I I get it.
And I I just want to say that myheart is full of hope for the
kids today because of peoplelike you.
(46:11):
Um, and I I just love how withyour stories, um you've
experienced some of this andyou're bringing that into your
work, into your service.
And um, I just I just we reallyencourage that.
And I'm excited for part twobecause there's so much more
(46:32):
here, and we don't want to rushthis through.
I mean, you all are umpodcasting, working on a book,
like you said, you just don'tstop.
You busy, you you busy.
We're real busy, and you'rebossy, real bossy.
SPEAKER_04 (46:50):
Absolutely.
I love all of this, and again, Ican't wait to to get back into
this real soon here.
Uh, Tamara and Dania didsomething so fabulous for Jen
and I.
They brought us a gift, andwe're gonna open that gift right
here.
SPEAKER_01 (47:06):
Oh, not in part right now.
SPEAKER_04 (47:07):
No, no, we're gonna get together right now.
SPEAKER_01 (47:10):
Okay, and I'm kind of um well, we can talk about
the title of your podcast andnot okay.
So it's talk early to me.
Talk early to me, girl.
Okay, so talk early to me.
(47:30):
So when I saw the gift, I waslike, oh, I wonder if I'm I
should open this here, but we'regoing to unseat.
Yay!
SPEAKER_00 (47:37):
So everything has a story that's in that bag.
SPEAKER_01 (47:42):
Taco cat spelled backwards.
This is taco cat.
SPEAKER_02 (47:47):
Taco cat spelled backwards.
SPEAKER_01 (47:48):
A little board game with a cat who's also a taco.
Okay.
And look at I'm looking for thecamera so I can show it, but I'm
just said to show pictures.
SPEAKER_00 (47:57):
Oh that's from our that's from game night.
So now you guys have somethingfor fish taco game night.
SPEAKER_01 (48:02):
Nice.
And this is a notebook journal.
Journal.
And the lady is well, no, that'sa statue.
Is that supposed to beMichelangelo?
Who is this?
What is this?
For fun.
SPEAKER_02 (48:12):
Maybe she should have read the card first.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_01 (48:15):
Oh, you want me to read the card and understand
what it is?
Let me read the card first.
Okay, we can go into the card ifyou want.
So it's addressed to take theelevator.
SPEAKER_04 (48:23):
That's us.
SPEAKER_01 (48:24):
Yes.
And it says thank you.
Take the elevator.
Corey and Jen, thank you so muchfor the chance to collaborate.
Please accept these tokens thatrepresent Dania, right?
And Tamara.
Talk early to me.
Enjoy Tamara and Dania.
SPEAKER_04 (48:42):
Now, while she's opening the rest of the gift, I
gotta I gotta say this becausethis is a first in our history.
We've been on the air for uhsince 2021, and we've never
received a gift from anyone.
So this is this means a lot.
SPEAKER_00 (48:59):
You know what?
Tamara's uh been trained well,and she talks about never going
anywhere empty-handed, and thenmy mom and her gift giving is
there's always something forsomebody no matter what.
SPEAKER_02 (49:11):
And so since you were getting to know us, I mean,
getting on the elevator, we'regetting to know each other.
So these are just things thatkind of represented us in a way
and who we are.
So the get the game is kind of agame night thing, and we're
we're Dania is a Dania's allabout a journal and a pen.
SPEAKER_00 (49:27):
So my I am all and I don't necessarily journal all
the time, but I have to writeabout 1300 lists for everything.
SPEAKER_02 (49:35):
Notes of the things, and the bubble gum is kind of a
homage to the bubble uh or aballoon.
Um, because we have balloon, I'mthe balloon, and she's the
string.
SPEAKER_04 (49:46):
Yeah, we're gonna post some we're gonna post some
pictures of these gifts.
SPEAKER_01 (49:51):
And reels of me using it.
SPEAKER_02 (49:53):
Oh, Danis snacks.
This is my newest snackobsession.
SPEAKER_00 (49:58):
Oh, there you go.
Oh, we even get the Amazon.
I don't know why they're sodelicious, but they are.
She's in the Skittles, and andthen I'm always been Arisa's
peanut butter cup.
Wait a minute, that's me.
Oh, that is me.
I will fight you in the streetfor Arisa's peanut butter cup,
okay?
SPEAKER_02 (50:18):
And then uh colored paper mate, yes.
Are you speaking?
Her love language now.
Everybody needs a good fidget.
And these these are um kind ofobsession right now.
Oh goodness, they're buns.
Is there a bun?
So one for each of you to have afidget.
(50:39):
Oh um, you see how light fidgetythings.
See, and so actually,everybody's on the look for a
special one, I think, that'ssupposed to be glittery.
So I don't know, it's you it'salso a surprise if you get the
special the special glitter onefidget one.
SPEAKER_00 (50:55):
But yeah, Tamara has fidgets on her desk, and and
she's decorating my desk withfidgets too.
SPEAKER_02 (51:00):
Not that a few of our favorite things.
Absolutely.
When the dog bites, when thebeasts.
Oh, yeah.
There you go.
Yeah, so just to share a littlebit.
SPEAKER_04 (51:12):
Oh, thank you so much for thank you so much for
you elevators.
Yeah, come on.
Don't come to my houseempty-handed.
I'm playing.
You come any way you want to.
SPEAKER_01 (51:22):
Well, when we bring you back, there's so much more
we want to unpack.
Um, I just want to thank you foropening your heart.
Yeah, absolutely.
And just sharing with us andbeing who you are and just the
work that you do.
I hope this is the beginning toa long relationship between
Corey and I and you two andwhatever we can do to support
(51:44):
you.
Like we're all about it.
Just thank you for thank you foreverything that you're doing.
SPEAKER_04 (51:49):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (51:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (51:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (51:52):
Are we good?
Oh, wait, no.
I I'm gonna elongate this alittle bit because we're gonna
end with something that wehaven't done with other um
elevators.
We're gonna do ri rapid firelightning round, and this is
gonna be real quick.
So we're gonna go around.
Corey's gonna start with you,and we're gonna this way.
Okay.
So, and if you don't have ananswer, just pass.
Okay.
No judgment.
Favorite childhood book Greenexam.
(52:14):
Where the wild things are.
Mine was that one, the frog andtoad.
Do you remember them?
Yeah, the internet frog.
Yeah.
Okay.
Most underrated skill kids need.
SPEAKER_04 (52:28):
Communication.
SPEAKER_00 (52:32):
Um sitting and attending.
I'm I'm with according to theline.
Communication, social emotionalskills.
SPEAKER_01 (52:43):
Great.
I'm gonna pass because so muchis going on in my mind on this.
Last question.
One thing adults should stopsaying to children.
SPEAKER_04 (52:51):
No.
That's the worst word you canteach a child in in most
instances.
Let me explain just all thefaces open.
So so I hear a lot of kidssaying no to the wrong people in
the wrong time.
And if you teach a kid to useother words, like I'm I don't
(53:13):
want that right now, or pleasedon't touch my toy right now, it
removes that negativeconnotation of no to everything.
So that's what I say.
SPEAKER_01 (53:25):
Is that gonna be our second episode?
The word no.
SPEAKER_02 (53:33):
I don't you know, I don't know that there are words.
I think that that every word isis is useful in in some way or
another.
SPEAKER_00 (53:42):
Okay.
Okay.
Um, I don't think that we shouldbe saying, you're fine.
Stop telling, stop telling kids.
You're fine.
Because they might not be.
They might not be.
They might not be.
They might not be.
SPEAKER_01 (53:59):
So Tamra's giving me something to think about.
I was gonna say because I saidso, but I think that's linked to
my childhood, and there's someties to that because it didn't
give me a chance to exploreanything.
That was like the done deal.
So um, I'm open to learn.
I can't wait for the secondepisode.
SPEAKER_04 (54:20):
Mess me up, Jen, because this needs to have room
to breathe now.
SPEAKER_01 (54:27):
Yeah, we're gonna invite people to come back
because it's gonna be a good,good episode.
And you know, um, thanks forcoming back.
Thanks for inviting.
I appreciate it.
Well, you know us to take theelevator.
We say, look up and let'selevate every day, elevate every
(54:53):
day.
unknown (54:55):
Calibate, every day, calibate.
Every day.
Elevate.
Every day.
Elevate.
Every day.
SPEAKER_01 (00:14):
Hey, it's Jen the Builder.
And the Corey.
And we are on Take the Elevatorfor another exciting episode.
Promise you that.
SPEAKER_04 (00:22):
Indeed.
And we are going to have a blasttoday.
I guarantee it because.
Well, let's go back, James.
Because I'm just excitedoverall, first and foremost.
Something really excitinghappened this past week.
And um I just really would loveto highlight that.
Jim, what did you do Fridaynight?
SPEAKER_01 (00:42):
I totally forgot about that.
So Friday night, uh, we areinvited to speak.
Um I'm so excited, I can't eventhink of the name of the group.
We were in Victorville.
Thank you.
A greater hope in Victorville.
And it was over Zoom, and therewas about 150 people that showed
up for an hour.
We got to speak about Gen Co,highlighting who we are as
(01:05):
children's book authors.
And it just opened up to so manydifferent topics.
Like everyone just kept wantingto ask questions.
They got curious about ourmarriage, our challenges.
How did we meet?
Um, what skills do they need?
Like it just went all over andit was beautiful.
(01:26):
And I was just, this is I waslike, this is what I want to do
for the rest of my life.
SPEAKER_04 (01:34):
Absolutely.
And so, with that being said, wewere guests for uh that
particular situation.
And today we have some guests ofour own.
And I'm excited about these twoguests because we met them at
the children's networkingconference.
And what a joy to meet twopeople who are so passionate
about what they do andunderstand what they're doing.
(01:56):
You know, we have a lot ofpeople today doing jobs that
they have no clue what they'redoing.
But these two people, I canhonestly say, know exactly what
they're doing.
SPEAKER_01 (02:05):
You know what that reminds me.
I know you're gonna introducethem.
When you introduce them, there'sthis question that I use with
adult professionals, and it'show would you describe your job
to a five-year-old?
And I just that is such apowerful question because you
let go of titles and the bigwords, and you get to the heart
of what you're doing and whyyou're doing it.
(02:27):
So I'm gonna leave it up to youto introduce them because I I
believe you met them before Idid.
SPEAKER_04 (02:32):
I we met them at the same time, but I, you know, I do
deep dives on people, and Ireally pay attention to what
they're saying and what they'renot saying.
And so that's really key for me.
So today we're gonna have twoindividuals, uh, and I'm gonna
stop calling them individuals.
I'm just calling them who theyare.
This is Tamara and Dania.
And again, two awesome peoplewho have um a long history, 30
(02:56):
years in one, 26 or 28 inanother one with uh early
childhood development and uhdegreed up the wazoo.
Just just just know there's somedoctorates, there's some
masters, there's a couple ofmasters, I believe.
SPEAKER_01 (03:12):
There's a whole lot of letters flying in this video.
MD, LD, P D.
SPEAKER_04 (03:17):
That's right, and then T D.
And we'll get into that a littlebit later.
So, guys, welcome on in thevideo.
Welcome.
SPEAKER_00 (03:25):
It's awesome to be here.
SPEAKER_04 (03:26):
Yeah, yeah.
Tell us, tell us about yourself,first of all.
We'll start with Tamara, and youjust tell us what you want us to
know, getting to know you.
That way we can have an idea ofwho we who we're talking to.
SPEAKER_02 (03:37):
What a broad question to ask.
Absolutely about you.
Whoa.
That's so broad about me.
Um, can we start with like theone question?
The one, what was I like as achild?
SPEAKER_01 (03:49):
Yeah, let's do that.
Let's do that.
Let's do warm-up, shall we?
Let's warm this up with the wordthat best describes you as a
kid.
SPEAKER_02 (04:00):
Um, I think if you ask my mom, she would say busy.
Busy.
Um, I I joke that my mom, when Iwas young, she wanted to have me
tested because she thought I wasI had ADD or something because I
would never stop.
Um my sister stopped her becauseI was just two, three.
I was just I was just young andshe was a little bit older.
(04:22):
But I think that I I've I'veconstantly just been busy.
And I think still to this day,I'm busy.
I continue to stay busy.
And then and my busy is withearly childhood education.
SPEAKER_04 (04:35):
That's what I'm talking about.
Tell us a little bit about thechildhood uh early childhood
education.
SPEAKER_02 (04:40):
So for me, I you know, I w I you asked that
question.
What how would a how would a Iwould describe my job to a
five-year-old?
Yeah.
Um, my nephews, when I was wewere in the car driving one day,
and they said, you know, what doyou do?
And I, you know, I described,well, I what do I do?
(05:01):
You know, at the time I was adirector of a preschool, and I
said, Well, I go into classroomsand I work with the teachers,
and I get to play in theclassroom, and I sit and do
play-doh, and I help a teacherwrite a lesson plan, and I and
then I go to my night job andand I do this, and and they were
like, So you teach teachers?
SPEAKER_01 (05:21):
There you go.
SPEAKER_02 (05:22):
And I said, Exactly.
Yeah, I teach teachers, and andthat was the end.
SPEAKER_04 (05:28):
Nice.
SPEAKER_02 (05:29):
So I teach I teach teachers.
SPEAKER_04 (05:31):
She teaches, teaches part-time, and then she's an
adult five-year-old at times.
SPEAKER_02 (05:37):
Right.
Basically, I think can I amadult five-year-old even when
I'm teaching teachers?
Nice.
You ask them.
Yeah, I think that would I thinkthat would that would sum it up.
SPEAKER_01 (05:44):
I would they look at me sometimes like I think that's
one of the best ways to teachadults actually is playfulness
and fun and bringing them backand bringing back childhood
activities.
I think it works the bestbecause you're out of your head
and you're in an area of playwhere creativity and imagination
just runs rampant.
SPEAKER_02 (06:05):
The disequilibrium.
That's where we learn best.
And if we can get everybody justto relax and let it go and just
say, Hey, relax.
I just want to learn new things.
SPEAKER_04 (06:16):
I'm gonna double back for uh Dania with that
question.
I'm gonna jump to the next oneand then we'll double back.
Okay.
Uh, what did you always dream ofbecoming?
SPEAKER_00 (06:26):
Um, since I was um five, it was a teacher.
Nice.
I've never not wanted to be ateacher.
I think when I was three, one ofthe little artworks that my mom
had said nurse.
I don't know why.
We were probably doing communityhelpers at that point.
I don't know.
But from kindergarten on,teacher, never anything else.
(06:48):
Never anything else.
Never.
Did you ever play teacher goingup?
Yeah.
Isn't that fun?
Oh god, I was everybody'steacher, and you sit down right
here and you do this and you dothat.
I mean, little cousins andpeople stop playing with me
because I'm always making themtake classes.
SPEAKER_01 (07:05):
My my cousins stop playing we too.
They're like, are we reallydoing a full day of school?
Yes, we're all from schooltoday.
SPEAKER_00 (07:13):
Exactly.
No, I I had a coordinated recesstime.
I don't know why anybody wascomplaining, but you know, there
was a schedule.
There was always a schedule whenit comes to me.
SPEAKER_04 (07:22):
So we'll go ahead and answer that first question
for you now, Daniel.
Um, what word describes you uhwho you were as a kid?
Bossy.
Bossy, busy and bossy.
SPEAKER_00 (07:34):
Okay, busy and bossy, and that is changed.
I have not changed.
My mom will tell you the samething.
Anyone who knows me from back inthe day to now will tell you the
same.
Yeah, we're yeah, we're thesame.
But I was bossy, and um, I thinka a child went up to my mom at
some point at in the afterschool program.
She came to pick me up, and um,he came up to her.
I oh no, it was preschool andsaid, Uh, your daughter is
(07:57):
bossy.
And my mom was like, uh, I'msorry.
Because what could she say?
She knew, she knew.
Don't be bossy, baby.
No, she wasn't gonna say thatbecause she always did want me
to have the upper hand.
So bossy, bossy remained,remained at all times.
SPEAKER_01 (08:14):
So, how would you describe your job to a
five-year-old then?
SPEAKER_00 (08:18):
Um, at this point, um, as I speak to my son, and he
wants to know what did you dotoday and how did you do it, and
now that sounds like too muchwork, mom, and don't do that no
more.
Um, I tell him now, I'm just theboss of the teachers, and I get
to help them.
And that seems to satisfy thatquestion.
(08:39):
No, just the boss of theteachers.
SPEAKER_01 (08:41):
I love that.
How I would describe my job to afive-year-old might be I help
bosses be nice people.
SPEAKER_00 (08:49):
Oh, I like that one.
I like that one.
SPEAKER_01 (08:52):
So important.
Okay.
So I hear teacher, what did youwant to become?
Um, Tamara.
SPEAKER_02 (08:59):
I had no, I didn't, you know, when I was thinking
about it, I I don't really haveI I'm more of a moment-to-moment
person.
Yeah.
So when I was younger, I was anathlete.
So my whole focus was in themoment.
I was an athlete in the moment.
So it kind of comes to me as itcomes.
So I I was I played sports.
So I played sports, and then Ibecame a teacher.
(09:20):
And that's that's where I go.
I go where it takes me.
SPEAKER_04 (09:23):
What sports were you involved in?
SPEAKER_02 (09:25):
Oh, soccer, volleyball, track and field, um,
basketball.
Serious athlete.
Uh yeah.
I went to I I had a scholarshipon in track and field leaving
out of high school.
SPEAKER_01 (09:38):
Okay.
So that's something that you andCorey have in common.
Uh, I played um softball andvolleyball.
I was captain of the Pep Club.
Um, and all four years ofplaying.
Right.
All four years of playing, I wasmost inspirational.
Yes, but we need the I was thatperson.
(09:59):
We need the inspirationalpeople.
Okay, so speaking ofinspiration, I'm wondering what
experiences shaped your passionfor early education, for
teaching young learners, opposedto the older ones, because
there's a huge difference inthat.
SPEAKER_00 (10:18):
Huge difference, huge difference.
I know when I first said Iwanted to be a teacher, it was
modeled after two teachers thatI had that changed the world for
me.
And it wasn't that they didanything in particular other
than they knew me.
And and and you could tell thatthey knew me and they poured
into me because they knew me.
Um, I went to a very small umChristian school as as growing
(10:42):
up.
And so, you know, there wasn't awhole lot of, you know, not a
lot of outside influence all thetime and stuff like that.
But that was also back in theday when my teacher could call
my mom and be like, yeah,Daniel's, you know, go in the
house with me and you know, youcan pick her up later, you know,
and it no second thought.
Yeah, no second thought aboutit.
And so I wanted to be my fourthgrade teacher when I I I wanted
(11:04):
to be my kindergarten teacherbecause she was just cool.
Okay.
But I wanted to be my fourthgrade teacher because she was
she was all there.
She did everything and she didstuff outside of work that was
really cool, and you know,that's who I wanted to be.
And then one day I did, um I wasassigned the fourth grade Sunday
(11:25):
school class.
Mm-mm.
Mm-mm.
After that, it was like we'regonna take this down a bunch.
And I loved being in thenursery.
And so then that that age groupthat finished attracting me
right there, and it's alwaysbeen that ever since.
And and being their sense ofwonder, being the first one to
(11:48):
catch the aha moment and beingtheir first introduction to how
wonderful school can be.
That's what I want it to be.
SPEAKER_01 (11:55):
It's powerful.
I'm curious.
Your fourth grade teacher, wereyou able to keep in touch with
her?
SPEAKER_00 (12:01):
And some, yeah, okay.
Some um, my mom just saying saidthat she posted something on
Facebook and the teacher saw itand was like, I always knew.
Oh, so that's special.
Yeah, it's really sweet.
SPEAKER_01 (12:16):
That's cool.
So, Damera, we're gonna have youanswer this same question after
you're done.
If you could just lead us intohow you two have come together
and what you two together areabout.
Because we're talking to a teamof women, it wasn't just happen
chance, like, oh, we have you,and then we have you, but this
is a team um effort going on.
SPEAKER_02 (12:36):
Yeah.
So um, I'm actually opposite ofDaniel.
I think my my poll to the to thefield is through um the opposite
of the the teachers that thatweren't there.
So I see um I didn't have goodexperiences with teachers.
(12:56):
I didn't I don't have thatteacher to look back on.
I mean there was there was acouple, um, but mostly just the
children that are left behind.
I don't want I want the childrento be seen and heard and all of
them say more, please.
So it was it was the the momentswhere you know that um there's
(13:17):
things going on and you thetrauma.
You know, there's children withtrauma, um children that need to
be heard and seen.
That's that's the biggest thing.
I don't even know.
I guess I'm feeling a littleemotional right now.
Yeah, you're where that comesfrom.
SPEAKER_00 (13:31):
Um I don't know where that came from.
I'm looking for it.
I'm over here willing her lip tonot quiver.
Don't do it.
SPEAKER_02 (13:37):
Don't do it, don't do it.
Um, no, I think um so inthinking about that, you know.
Um my dissertation is all aboutI I was, you know, I've been
going all around this.
Um there is they there's a lotof that talk about you come to
the field to make a difference,you know, why what's your what
(13:57):
is your why?
What is your why?
And then I was I I talk aboutwhat's your what?
What is your what?
Um so I want to encouragepeople, uh the people that I'm
teaching, the teachers that I'mteaching, we need to see
everyone.
There's there's students,there's children.
(14:17):
I came to the field because weneed to make a difference.
And that that's so cliche.
That's so cliche.
Um but we come in and I don'twant any students to be facing
the wall when everyone else islooking the other direction.
So nobody in timeout, yeah,nobody excluded.
SPEAKER_04 (14:41):
Right.
I I gotta jump in there becauseJen, I've shared this with you
uh a little bit, but you guysdon't know this about me.
I was the kid left behind.
I was the kid that wasostracized or in the other room
while everybody was doing and Ididn't understand why.
And of course, I'm not gonna sayI was the angel in the
situation, but I was just a veryhyper high energy, high-level
(15:07):
producing type of kid.
And so if you have kids that arenot as active and as as hyper as
I was, then I'm the distraction.
And um, so that speaks volumesto me.
I I look back now and I and Isay to myself, why didn't this
teacher just say, hey, gooutside and run around the
(15:27):
football field a couple of timesand come back in?
So I could just get some of thatout.
SPEAKER_00 (15:31):
See, and my question would be, why didn't that
teacher step up and give youwhat you needed?
That's where I would be at inthat situation.
That and that's what we areteaching teachers to do is these
children are not to be excluded,but to be even more included
than you would ever imaginebecause that's what they're
(15:51):
looking for.
SPEAKER_03 (15:52):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (15:52):
They're looking for you to include them.
How are you gonna step up yourgame to include them?
SPEAKER_02 (15:58):
That child.
So you are the reason you arethe child that Dane and I teach
to.
Right, right.
SPEAKER_04 (16:05):
And I think that's I'm starting to see the
underlying connection and whatyou're doing and how you express
that.
So yeah, that's good stuff.
SPEAKER_02 (16:14):
Which leads us into how Dane and I are, I mean, Dani
and I came together throughthrough our jobs.
We met through our jobs earlyon.
We met early on in our job injust connecting.
Um not really connecting, but wewere, hey, how you doing?
Like, and then later I'm good,thank you.
You're good, thank you.
(16:35):
Um, and later when we wereactually had the opportunity to
work closely together, um, justuh two and a half years ago, we
we connected uh through our job,and um through that we started
realizing that we are on thesame page, who we are basically
the same person, um, with a lotof the same ideas, working
(16:58):
towards the same goals, and weneed to really harness that
harness that and grow it.
Um, and we have something.
So that's where we started.
And and only one year ago did wereally start to do that.
SPEAKER_04 (17:15):
Nice.
SPEAKER_02 (17:15):
Can you tell us the name of the company that you've
so we we have created uh T Dtraining and development, early
childhood training anddevelopment.
So T D training and developmentand Tamara and Dania.
Uh T and D right there.
SPEAKER_00 (17:31):
And then our government name, because you
have to have one of those.
Yeah, our government name is T Duh Growth Unboxed.
Growth Unboxed.
SPEAKER_02 (17:40):
You know, because you have to have that that LLC
name.
You know, and yeah, you want tohear a funny story of how we we
determine that name.
SPEAKER_01 (17:49):
Yeah, we'd like to hear.
SPEAKER_02 (17:51):
We like funny stories because you know we're
we're very playful.
So um in our classes, we alwaysdo you know, those wheels where
you put everybody's name onthere to see who gets to win.
Well, the way that we chose ourLLC name, we couldn't decide
what we wanted it to be.
So instead of the wheel, there'sthere's another app where you
can do a duck race.
SPEAKER_00 (18:09):
So we put all of our ideas onto this duck race.
And it was only ideas that nomatter what won, we were gonna
be okay with.
SPEAKER_01 (18:17):
Yes, yes.
How many ducks were there?
Six.
SPEAKER_00 (18:20):
Um, no, there was a lot more than six.
SPEAKER_01 (18:22):
I think that we narrowed it.
Okay, maybe seven.
SPEAKER_00 (18:24):
No, there was a lot more than six.
You said maybe seven.
No, it was double-digit ducknews.
SPEAKER_02 (18:30):
We had all the ducks race, um, and they're like um,
and then so the duck that won,we we didn't even argue, it
became that name.
So that's how we determined ourgrowth scene.
Unbox on box growth on boxgrowth on boxes, our LLC.
Got it, man.
SPEAKER_00 (18:48):
So that's and everything starts with T D.
Everything, yeah no matter what.
Touchdown.
It is a touchdown.
SPEAKER_02 (18:55):
It is, it is winning.
I like it.
SPEAKER_01 (18:58):
You know, one of the reasons why we're so excited to
have you here is we have apassion for children as well.
And our our if we had to put inone sentence, I think it would
be just where kids can be kidsagain, especially in the world
of today.
We've we've robbed them ofchildhood, the ability to play
and to explore.
(19:19):
We've kind of shut them down ortheir voices and filled it with
other voices that they find onthe internet, TikTok, whatever
that is.
Um, and we have a lot oflisteners who are young parents
and um young kiddos.
A lot of the feedback we get isactually from them, and they
have kids who are listening tothis podcast.
(19:40):
So I want to ask T D GrowthUnboxed, um, what what words of
wisdom, what love letter do youwant to give to the parents and
to the kids um with a focus onum teaching your kids at a young
age?
SPEAKER_00 (19:59):
You want me to go?
I can start.
Um number one, we always thelove, the first love letter is
to that parent to tell themyou're okay.
You're okay.
You're doing this and you'regonna do keep doing this.
Don't give up doing this foryour baby.
Whatever it is that you'retrying to do for your baby, keep
(20:19):
going.
No, you know, and it it thereare nights when it's hard, and
there's times when you're tired.
Keep going.
Okay.
Um give them what you can andthen seek out those who can give
them the rest.
Yes, because you it's it is nota one-man job.
Sure.
There's nowhere near a one-manjob.
(20:41):
So we start with um upliftingthat parent, and then my my tea
over here comes running in toplay with that kid.
SPEAKER_02 (20:50):
That's what it is, and play.
Remember the play, remember yourown play.
Remember to be just a kid.
Yeah.
I think that's what they theywant that.
They want to be acknowledgedwhen they say your name, like
answer.
You know, that's what they theythey want you to be there.
(21:12):
And it's and it's put down thephone.
Put down the phone for aconversation.
When they do a bid for bid forconversation, answer it.
And and take some time.
We we um have put in tacoFridays, fish taco Fridays that
include a game.
Um, we're working on executivefunction skills because we all
(21:34):
need a little help with ourexecutive function skills, just
you know, taking being able tosit and sit and attend for you
know on something besides ourphones.
I mean, I'm guilty.
I will look at my phone, I willscroll TikTok because I love it
and I shouldn't.
Um, but I do.
And so um just being able to sitand attend to a game for a
little while and and payattention to the people around
(21:57):
us for a little and just have aconversation and just have a
fish taco.
And have a fish taco.
SPEAKER_03 (22:04):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (22:04):
Because fish tacos are the best.
Oh my god.
Well, I have a we have aspecific place that we go that
it's like standing on the top ofLa Bufadora in Ensenada.
Yeah, every bite, and you'relike, I can hear the ocean, I
can hear the windows.
SPEAKER_04 (22:19):
Say more, I need to know where this place is.
SPEAKER_00 (22:21):
Yeah, we'll we'll talk after.
It's a beautiful place.
SPEAKER_04 (22:24):
So, who wants to tell how you met briefly and
what made how does it make sensefor you guys to collaborate?
SPEAKER_00 (22:32):
We met again.
Um, we were both um adjunctprofessors, and then we both
came together um as teachers onspecial assignment in a local
school district, and um weconnected.
It just by day three, it waslike, this is it, this is going
down.
This here is my other person.
(22:53):
This is this this she gets me,and I don't even know why yet,
but okay, let's do this.
And when we start bouncing ideasoff of each other and stuff like
that, it was it was incredible.
So we harnessed that energy inthat particular job and began to
presenting to teachers andmaking those connections and
relationships with thoseteachers and drew them in.
(23:16):
They just sucked it up and andwe just kept going.
And we don't do anything simple,we don't have good enough sense
enough to do anything simple andnot go hard, right?
No matter what.
So I love it.
We I mean, and so we took thatand decided we're gonna take
this on the road.
SPEAKER_02 (23:33):
And and we were yeah, because we were PDs were
like, hmm, do you want topresent at a conference?
So we did our first conferencein November of 2024.
SPEAKER_00 (23:43):
Um was it 2023, 2023, 2024?
SPEAKER_02 (23:46):
But we're like, hmm, this is kind of fun.
SPEAKER_00 (23:48):
You want to do more?
It was so funny because itwasn't her conference, she
didn't like that particulargenre of the learning domain.
And then you said it out loud.
You said math.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (24:00):
I'm getting used, I'm I'm I'm liking it more now.
SPEAKER_00 (24:03):
I'm bringing it to where I like it.
But we did a we did that one,and it was a small one.
Hey, let's do another one.
Okay, let's do another one, andthings just grew, and so that
connection stayed.
SPEAKER_02 (24:15):
It was on my bucket list.
Presenting at conferences waswas always on my bucket list,
but it wasn't something that Iwas willing to really go out and
do.
Like I didn't know where tostart.
SPEAKER_00 (24:26):
And I was already signed up for that conference,
and the person I was gonnapresent with was no longer
there.
Here comes Tamara, she's herenow.
Oh, let's do this.
Yeah, so that's what we did.
SPEAKER_02 (24:36):
Our connection was just there, it just made sense.
Yeah.
And when we started doing it,and it was like, what?
unknown (24:42):
Hmm.
SPEAKER_00 (24:43):
If it works, it worked.
It does.
It was only a few months beforewe really were finishing each
other's sentences, and and and Iknew her thoughts.
And you could do that whole girlthing across the room, and you
can read the I, and you're like,mm-hmm.
And that and that was it.
SPEAKER_02 (24:59):
You say finish each other's sentences.
I want to that song finish eachother's sandwiches.
Every time you say that, I justwant to say sandwiches.
Okay.
Feel free.
All right.
SPEAKER_01 (25:13):
All right.
So one of the questions that wealways bring up always has to do
with a story.
Um, story adds connection, itgives meaning to the work that
you do.
What's a story that you havethat has just stayed with you as
you're working with youngkiddos?
SPEAKER_02 (25:38):
I think for me, the story that always stays with me
um is a story of a child who umwas really struggling in the in
the class.
She was struggling so much withmaking friends, with connecting
with other other children.
Um, she was getting in she justwas behaviors, um, always having
(26:02):
a call mom because she wasstruggling and everybody was
getting upset with her.
Um, and later it turned out thatshe was having uh vision
problems.
She needed glasses.
And and this whole vision thingwas it was throwing her off.
She couldn't, it was angles.
So she was always looking.
She couldn't tell if the thingand this whole this one sensory
(26:27):
problem was causing all of theseother issues for her.
But nobody knew it.
We were going through all of theI was working with the mom and
we were working really closelyand doing everything that we can
to get her all the assessmentsand everything.
And it was I was working at aprivate preschool, so we didn't
have access to a lot of thingsbesides going other places.
Um, and but she, you know, had alot of incidences, and and I
(26:51):
remember she told me once, thislittle girl told me, I hate you
more than I hate my dad, and Ihate him a lot.
And that's always stuck with me.
And I was like, whoa, you'refour.
Um, but and and you know, andfast forward, and then just
remember thinking, we're gonnado everything that we can for
(27:12):
her, and you're gonna make itthrough this class, and you're
gonna and and the parents wereon board, but the parents were,
you know, they were rough, andone of the dad, the dad had a
his a disability, and the momwas a nurse and she was working
nights, so there was a lot ofthings going on in this family,
but we worked diligently withher and um and you know, fast
(27:33):
forward to her being now in inin high school, ninth grader,
and and she's suc she's verysuccessful, she's in drama, um,
she's just doing well.
So just thinking about what youdo early with the children, and
that goes back to my I'm notgonna leave anyone behind.
(27:58):
My why.
My I'm going to if you need whoneeds me the most, I'm gonna I'm
gonna pay attention to everysingle child.
I'm gonna individualize forevery child, but I'm especially
going to make sure that the onesthat need me the most are gonna
get as much as me as they can.
So that's where that's why thoseare the stories, and I and
(28:21):
there's a few.
There's quite a few.
And you know, I've been hit andkicked and punched, and that's
some of the best parts.
SPEAKER_04 (28:27):
I remember that.
Gene, I gotta say this realquick, and I'm sorry I've jumped
in there real quick, but um itit's these moments of
inspiration that just remindsyou why this system can be so
great, and and how we can havesomething successful for the
younger generation.
You know, I'm thinking in mymind, when did this start?
(28:50):
This had to have happened sometime ago, but that that's not
what was happening in my day andin my age.
So I I just feel like, man, howmuch further along could so many
people be if we had a MissTamara and a Miss Daniel in in
in their lives and able tosupport and jump in there and
recognize the situations thatwere really going on.
(29:13):
And I'm sure you guys areprobably wishing you had more
time, but I'm I'm gonna go offthe script just a little bit.
Just give me some information onhow this is continuing to drive
you and knowing what you knowbecause you get to see both
sides.
SPEAKER_02 (29:30):
How this drives us, how it keeps us moving and
going.
I we show up for work every day.
We give it, I mean, we give itall we give everything that we
can.
I I'm still, you know, behindthe scenes.
We go to meetings with thecounty, we we go to these
conferences, we talk to people.
Um, I don't want to take fromDania.
SPEAKER_00 (29:51):
Dania gets to share her her story.
I was I was just upset that youshared that one instead of one
one of my favorites, which wasthe I'm gonna.
Know you one?
Oh that creeped you out.
SPEAKER_02 (30:02):
A little girl that creeped me out and said, I'm
gonna know everything about you.
SPEAKER_00 (30:05):
She just stood in her face.
I'm gonna know everything aboutyou.
We can't share all the storiesright now.
I want you to share your story.
Oh gosh.
Um you made me forget it.
Put me on the spot like that.
SPEAKER_01 (30:18):
Well, while you're thinking about that, I'm
wondering if the ninth graderstill hates you more than she
does her dad.
SPEAKER_02 (30:24):
You know, after you know, I used I I stayed friends
with the mom and and I used togo and I haven't seen them in a
while.
Um, but I would afterwards, youknow, they they never they never
hold that.
Yeah.
In that moment she did.
In the moment when she had to bewith me because, you know, she
had stabbed somebody with a uhat the end of a flower, um, a
(30:46):
fake flower.
Um, she had to be with me, andshe did not like that.
But you know, the next day whenshe came, she gave me a hug, and
I gave her a hug, and I said,I'm so glad to see you today.
I'm glad you're at school.
SPEAKER_03 (30:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (31:00):
Because I was, because I wanted to see her
every day.
Um, and that's and she was happyto see me too.
Yeah.
Because in the moment she wasmad.
SPEAKER_01 (31:11):
I'm gonna say that uh it was such a good thing for
her to have that stabbing momentwith the flower because she was
able to then to work with youand have you in her life.
Because I'll just say this frommy perspective.
As a child who grew up in aFilipino home in the Asian
(31:32):
culture, we're we weren'tallowed to express our emotions.
So I'm wondering, as you'retalking about being left behind,
the kids who don't act out andit's all internal, there is a
form of getting left behindbecause we're pretending
everything's okay or we'reliving up to the standards of
(31:53):
what everyone else has set forthand have totally denied the
emotions we're feeling.
Right.
Right.
So that that's an interestingperspective when kids don't act
out.
What it's how is the systemensuring that children still
aren't left behind?
Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_02 (32:11):
No, yeah, for sure.
I think I've I think I've textedyou something about that before.
Um could we link the childrenthat aren't, you know,
expressing those emotions early?
Can we link that later toanxiety?
We're we're not able to expressit and we're holding it in.
(32:32):
Can you know, and laterdepression and depression, yeah.
You know, because we're not wedon't know how to name those
things.
We played a game at at at thenetwork where you were our whole
presentation at the network wasabout humor and social emotional
development.
And we talked to to the toeveryone about uh we had played
(32:53):
a game where you had to name theemotion that the other person
was acting out, and when theperson came up and they looked
at the card and they were like,I don't know how to act that
out.
We know what it feels like inthe moment when you're feeling
it, you know what it feels like.
But how do I act that if I'm notfeeling it?
You don't know.
(33:14):
So how do we so we've neverlearned how to really express
what we're feeling if we're notactually feeling it?
SPEAKER_00 (33:21):
Actually, it piggybacks off of what both of
you guys have said.
Um, we grew up and and it was,you know, you feel how I tell
you to feel, and that's prettymuch it.
You are a child, you don't knowwhat your feelings are.
Right.
And yes, actually, I do knowwhat my feelings are, I'm just
not allowed to say it.
(33:41):
Had we had any of those thingsthat Tamara worked with, that I
have worked with, it was yourteacher told your mom, you went
home, got in trouble, and younever had that problem again.
And that was it.
It was like when someone getsdiagnosed with ADHD or someone
gets diagnosed with autism.
We in in the culture, you gohome, you get punished, you
(34:04):
know, you get that on thebottom, and then you never had
autism again.
Not at school.
This is true, you know, younever did, you just didn't do
that anymore because you you'renot gonna act like that at
school, put my name on the lineas your mother, and you know,
all that kind of stuff.
So it was like, how many thingscould those kiddos have needed
(34:25):
that we didn't get because weweren't allowed to show what was
really going on and what did itdo to their body, their mind, as
they tried to process this stuffand had to hold it back.
Right.
And and what was really, reallygoing on with that, you know?
It's it was it's a it's a realdeep dive conversation because
we go into the cultural thingand we go into you know the
(34:48):
timing and the era that you'rein, and the you know, and then
there was when everybody hadADHD.
We all got rid of it, right?
You know, and it's like, no,they were four, they were not
ADD, you know, they didn't haveADD, you know, they had some
energy, you know, and that wasall there was to it.
SPEAKER_04 (35:03):
So yeah, I I oh, you just touched a real soft spot
for me because um, as I toldyou, I worked in the non-public
school system, and uh, we keptthose um individuals till 22,
and so a lot of them weremedicated.
And I remember thinking tomyself as these kids are lined
up to get meds on a daily basis,how many of these kids have been
(35:27):
misdiagnosed?
How many of these kids are um onsomething that's actually
hurting them opposed to helpingthem?
And so um it it makes you thinkand it pushes you to ask
questions.
And if you don't know who toask, right, you find yourself
just randomly asking questions.
Who can help you?
(35:48):
Can you give us a littleinformation on who can help you?
SPEAKER_02 (35:52):
Yeah.
Well, you would hope it's yourteachers first.
I mean, um that's where youthat's where you're gonna go.
The the the teachers are gonnabe your first um that's the
first defense, line of defense.
Um but you have the the thesystem of education that is
(36:14):
supposed to help you with thosethings.
And I think that we're stillnot, we're still not.
We're still not really, I thinkthere's still a disconnect in in
recognizing um and then there'ssome there's some disconnect
there in trauma and ADD andautism symptoms that are all
kind of overlapping.
SPEAKER_04 (36:35):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (36:36):
So, you know, I teach a I teach childhood stress
and trauma, and we say, look,these symptoms look a lot like
these symptoms.
So we are trying to teachteachers to recognize what does
this look like?
How do we connect with thesechildren?
And it's about buildingrelationships first, right?
Yeah.
So if we can start to build therelationships with students and
(36:58):
say, okay, this is what I'mseeing, and then building
relationships with the familiesso that we can encourage them to
start to reach out, whether it'swith the district or with other
services, because there's a lotof services, you know, in the
counties that we live in, um,that could help.
SPEAKER_03 (37:16):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (37:17):
And and getting over the stigma of where those
services may come from because Imay tell you about this service.
You hear it comes from thespecial ed department, and
parents shut down right then andthere.
You will not label my childspecial ed.
You will not do the specialservices.
It's like no label.
(37:37):
No, no, this service is, I mean,it's funded through this
department.
That's it.
You know, it doesn't give yourchild this label, but there are
some who can't even get past thetitle of the department that it
comes from.
And so that kid still missesout.
The mom did the right thing, theparents did the right thing
reaching out, and then we hitthis wall.
So there's lots of barriers thatcan be there that if you have
(38:00):
those relationships withfamilies, you can get them past
some of that stuff and reallyget those kiddos what they need
when they need it and not yearslater.
SPEAKER_01 (38:10):
Yeah.
I have a story actually of ateacher, and I just think one of
her superpowers was the abilityto triage, if you will.
Remember, my world's nursing.
Right.
So I wonder how are teacherstriaging and being able to give
first aid?
And then if it requiressomething of a more intense
(38:30):
intervention, do they know whereto go?
So my son had issues early on inschool and he had a speech
impediment.
And we had a school psychologistthat lived right across the
street from me, and she used tobabysit, well, not babysit, but
she would tutor my other myother child.
And she said, Jen, the schooldistrict is gonna try to do the
(38:54):
quick labeling of ADHD on him.
And that's not what it is.
He's it's something with hisspeech.
I get him checked maybe forhearing, look and see what
physiologically could behappening.
It does not it doesn't have tojump to the other stuff.
So sure enough, he had a hearingdeficit big time in his left
(39:16):
ear.
So got that fixed.
He was pulled into specialclasses for speech in special
ed.
And it was so funny.
We go grocery shopping becausehe's learning how to enunciate,
right?
He's all mom, and I said, Yes.
He says, Can I get some cheetos?
(39:36):
I was like, I want some cheetos.
Okay.
So what it ended up doing wasteaching him to have a British
accent.
I love it.
I love it.
But yeah, I'm just so gratefulthat my neighbor was able to
step in, give me that advicebecause as a parent, you're
like, what's wrong with mychild?
And it's just it's dishearteningwhen your kids coming back, not
(39:59):
learning, kids are making fun ofthem, and it's this whole thing.
And it can be something that asa parent you take personally.
Oh, yeah.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (40:07):
No, you're either underwhelmed or overwhelmed.
SPEAKER_01 (40:10):
Yeah.
So I'm just grateful for whenthe system does work because I
think it's designed to and itunderstands that there's flaws
and there's gaps.
But with people like you who arepassionate about bridging those
gaps and bringing the resourcesand giving the education and the
support, that warms my heartbecause it's so needed in the
(40:34):
world that we live in, wherewe're just so quick to diagnose,
so quick to prescribe.
And I'm gonna end this and I'mgonna hand it over.
Is um, I think there's power inthe way we name things too.
So, for example, as a nurse,when you come to end-of-life
stuff, there's a DNR, whichmeans do not resuscitate.
That messes with your mind.
(40:56):
Like you both have love for eachother, and at no time, I don't
think, would we naturally say, Idon't want you to bring her back
to life.
Right?
SPEAKER_00 (41:03):
I would be all over you.
SPEAKER_01 (41:05):
Right.
But like, no, no, keep trying.
Yeah, the thing now they'relooking at changing it to
another title, A and D, um, anatural death, understanding
that death is a part of life andthis is happening naturally.
Right.
So the naming convention is soimportant.
So special ed, yes, parents arelike, oh no, not my child, or I
(41:27):
don't like, you know, we evenlet's be intentional about the
way we name things.
SPEAKER_02 (41:32):
Yeah, I think they have changed, like in re you
know, they have specialservices, you know.
So we are changing the wording alot of the time now.
So I think that is something,and I think too, there are a lot
of there are still a lot ofpeople that are working for the
children.
Yeah, so I think that that thatwe are we have them out there.
(41:52):
Yes.
There are fighters.
There are they're I'm quitehopeful out there.
So I think it is good.
SPEAKER_04 (41:57):
Yeah, I I'm for sure it's uh some good fighters, good
workers out there.
As a matter of fact, I I had asuperhero uh for a fourth grade
teacher, Mr.
Geiger.
SPEAKER_02 (42:06):
Nice, right?
Jim Geiger.
I love it, and Mr.
Geiger.
SPEAKER_04 (42:10):
He was a military man, so uh my last name is Body,
and that's all he called me.
He never called me by my firstname.
Nice.
Body, you are not meeting themark today.
And I was just like, oh man, Ilike this like hardcore drill
sergeant type.
That's what you needed, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (42:26):
And then where are you gonna meet them where they
are?
SPEAKER_04 (42:28):
They were there then too.
It's just, you know, sometimesyou just have that moment where
you can't find them and you needthem.
It's like that police thing, youknow.
Where's the police when you'rewhen you're really they're never
here when you need them, right?
Exactly.
But you know, um, I'm gonna askthis last place.
I think we should do a part two,Jen.
What do you say?
SPEAKER_01 (42:48):
I I welcome it and would love it.
I'm looking at them like Yes,okay.
SPEAKER_00 (42:53):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (42:55):
Any reason to have them over again?
Okay, that works.
SPEAKER_04 (42:58):
Absolutely.
So, why does the the the workstill impact you so emotionally?
SPEAKER_00 (43:06):
Well, you you had more tears in your eyes than I.
Yes, I put that out there.
Really?
Yes, I did.
SPEAKER_04 (43:12):
I was right there with her though.
SPEAKER_00 (43:13):
Yeah, yes.
Yeah, so was I.
Yeah, you guys.
There's some cries here.
SPEAKER_02 (43:20):
Just so emotional.
Um, I think because it's it'swhat I do, it's what I love.
Yes that I continue to show upfor.
Um, it drives me.
You know, you always want to doyou I think it's one of those
things.
If you don't love what you do,don't do it.
SPEAKER_04 (43:35):
Don't do it.
SPEAKER_02 (43:36):
And and you need to know when you're done.
I keep telling teachers that,and I think that's one of the
things that teachers have atendency not to not to stop when
you're done.
When you just when you're done.
And I'm not done.
SPEAKER_00 (43:49):
And then not even not even close.
That's part of it.
Are we ever?
You know, no matter what theability level is in your heart,
if that's what your passion is,you're never done.
You're never done.
How how you um how youmanipulate that and come and
complete that differently may bedifferent, but we're never
(44:11):
really done.
And it's what Tamra said, it'swhat it drives us because we
know what it can look like whenit's successful.
And so we're gonna keep goinguntil everybody can experience
that success.
Because once you get a taste ofthat success, it's a wrap.
You're gonna do it until the dayis done.
SPEAKER_02 (44:34):
Just, you know, when when you walk into or when
you're walking, even no matterwhere you're going, if you're
just walking into a classroom orif you're walking by a
playground and the children seeyou and and they say, Hi, Miss
Tamra.
And you know, and they're likehappy to see you and they want
to hug you or just say hi.
(44:55):
It makes it everything that youdo worth it.
Yeah, everything that's all youneed.
Yeah, nothing else, just thatmakes it all worth it.
SPEAKER_00 (45:05):
For sure.
SPEAKER_01 (45:07):
I'm gonna agree.
We um had one of our friends, wecall them forest friends, a
little girl, and we saw heryesterday at an event.
And this sounds big-headed ofme, but I am saying exactly what
you're saying.
But in an in other words, andshe says, Hi, and she hugs you
and takes you in because there'sthat connection, right?
(45:28):
There's the relationship thatyou're talking about, and she
says, You look so fabulous.
Oh, and it was just so so sweet,you know, and just so uplifting.
And just to be in that kind ofrelationship with kids where
they're flourishing, where it'smore than survival and they're
(45:50):
getting to thrive, and you getto see their relationship with
her mom is just so beautiful,and you could see healthy
parenting happening.
And so I I get it.
And I I just want to say that myheart is full of hope for the
kids today because of peoplelike you.
(46:11):
Um, and I I just love how withyour stories, um you've
experienced some of this andyou're bringing that into your
work, into your service.
And um, I just I just we reallyencourage that.
And I'm excited for part twobecause there's so much more
(46:32):
here, and we don't want to rushthis through.
I mean, you all are umpodcasting, working on a book,
like you said, you just don'tstop.
You busy, you you busy.
We're real busy, and you'rebossy, real bossy.
SPEAKER_04 (46:50):
Absolutely.
I love all of this, and again, Ican't wait to to get back into
this real soon here.
Uh, Tamara and Dania didsomething so fabulous for Jen
and I.
They brought us a gift, andwe're gonna open that gift right
here.
SPEAKER_01 (47:06):
Oh, not in part right now.
SPEAKER_04 (47:07):
No, no, we're gonna get together right now.
SPEAKER_01 (47:10):
Okay, and I'm kind of um well, we can talk about
the title of your podcast andnot okay.
So it's talk early to me.
Talk early to me, girl.
Okay, so talk early to me.
(47:30):
So when I saw the gift, I waslike, oh, I wonder if I'm I
should open this here, but we'regoing to unseat.
Yay!
SPEAKER_00 (47:37):
So everything has a story that's in that bag.
SPEAKER_01 (47:42):
Taco cat spelled backwards.
This is taco cat.
SPEAKER_02 (47:47):
Taco cat spelled backwards.
SPEAKER_01 (47:48):
A little board game with a cat who's also a taco.
Okay.
And look at I'm looking for thecamera so I can show it, but I'm
just said to show pictures.
SPEAKER_00 (47:57):
Oh that's from our that's from game night.
So now you guys have somethingfor fish taco game night.
SPEAKER_01 (48:02):
Nice.
And this is a notebook journal.
Journal.
And the lady is well, no, that'sa statue.
Is that supposed to beMichelangelo?
Who is this?
What is this?
For fun.
SPEAKER_02 (48:12):
Maybe she should have read the card first.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_01 (48:15):
Oh, you want me to read the card and understand
what it is?
Let me read the card first.
Okay, we can go into the card ifyou want.
So it's addressed to take theelevator.
SPEAKER_04 (48:23):
That's us.
SPEAKER_01 (48:24):
Yes.
And it says thank you.
Take the elevator.
Corey and Jen, thank you so muchfor the chance to collaborate.
Please accept these tokens thatrepresent Dania, right?
And Tamara.
Talk early to me.
Enjoy Tamara and Dania.
SPEAKER_04 (48:42):
Now, while she's opening the rest of the gift, I
gotta I gotta say this becausethis is a first in our history.
We've been on the air for uhsince 2021, and we've never
received a gift from anyone.
So this is this means a lot.
SPEAKER_00 (48:59):
You know what?
Tamara's uh been trained well,and she talks about never going
anywhere empty-handed, and thenmy mom and her gift giving is
there's always something forsomebody no matter what.
SPEAKER_02 (49:11):
And so since you were getting to know us, I mean,
getting on the elevator, we'regetting to know each other.
So these are just things thatkind of represented us in a way
and who we are.
So the get the game is kind of agame night thing, and we're
we're Dania is a Dania's allabout a journal and a pen.
SPEAKER_00 (49:27):
So my I am all and I don't necessarily journal all
the time, but I have to writeabout 1300 lists for everything.
SPEAKER_02 (49:35):
Notes of the things, and the bubble gum is kind of a
homage to the bubble uh or aballoon.
Um, because we have balloon, I'mthe balloon, and she's the
string.
SPEAKER_04 (49:46):
Yeah, we're gonna post some we're gonna post some
pictures of these gifts.
SPEAKER_01 (49:51):
And reels of me using it.
SPEAKER_02 (49:53):
Oh, Danis snacks.
This is my newest snackobsession.
SPEAKER_00 (49:58):
Oh, there you go.
Oh, we even get the Amazon.
I don't know why they're sodelicious, but they are.
She's in the Skittles, and andthen I'm always been Arisa's
peanut butter cup.
Wait a minute, that's me.
Oh, that is me.
I will fight you in the streetfor Arisa's peanut butter cup,
okay?
SPEAKER_02 (50:18):
And then uh colored paper mate, yes.
Are you speaking?
Her love language now.
Everybody needs a good fidget.
And these these are um kind ofobsession right now.
Oh goodness, they're buns.
Is there a bun?
So one for each of you to have afidget.
(50:39):
Oh um, you see how light fidgetythings.
See, and so actually,everybody's on the look for a
special one, I think, that'ssupposed to be glittery.
So I don't know, it's you it'salso a surprise if you get the
special the special glitter onefidget one.
SPEAKER_00 (50:55):
But yeah, Tamara has fidgets on her desk, and and
she's decorating my desk withfidgets too.
SPEAKER_02 (51:00):
Not that a few of our favorite things.
Absolutely.
When the dog bites, when thebeasts.
Oh, yeah.
There you go.
Yeah, so just to share a littlebit.
SPEAKER_04 (51:12):
Oh, thank you so much for thank you so much for
you elevators.
Yeah, come on.
Don't come to my houseempty-handed.
I'm playing.
You come any way you want to.
SPEAKER_01 (51:22):
Well, when we bring you back, there's so much more
we want to unpack.
Um, I just want to thank you foropening your heart.
Yeah, absolutely.
And just sharing with us andbeing who you are and just the
work that you do.
I hope this is the beginning toa long relationship between
Corey and I and you two andwhatever we can do to support
(51:44):
you.
Like we're all about it.
Just thank you for thank you foreverything that you're doing.
SPEAKER_04 (51:49):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (51:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (51:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (51:52):
Are we good?
Oh, wait, no.
I I'm gonna elongate this alittle bit because we're gonna
end with something that wehaven't done with other um
elevators.
We're gonna do ri rapid firelightning round, and this is
gonna be real quick.
So we're gonna go around.
Corey's gonna start with you,and we're gonna this way.
Okay.
So, and if you don't have ananswer, just pass.
Okay.
No judgment.
Favorite childhood book Greenexam.
(52:14):
Where the wild things are.
Mine was that one, the frog andtoad.
Do you remember them?
Yeah, the internet frog.
Yeah.
Okay.
Most underrated skill kids need.
SPEAKER_04 (52:28):
Communication.
SPEAKER_00 (52:32):
Um sitting and attending.
I'm I'm with according to theline.
Communication, social emotionalskills.
SPEAKER_01 (52:43):
Great.
I'm gonna pass because so muchis going on in my mind on this.
Last question.
One thing adults should stopsaying to children.
SPEAKER_04 (52:51):
No.
That's the worst word you canteach a child in in most
instances.
Let me explain just all thefaces open.
So so I hear a lot of kidssaying no to the wrong people in
the wrong time.
And if you teach a kid to useother words, like I'm I don't
(53:13):
want that right now, or pleasedon't touch my toy right now, it
removes that negativeconnotation of no to everything.
So that's what I say.
SPEAKER_01 (53:25):
Is that gonna be our second episode?
The word no.
SPEAKER_02 (53:33):
I don't you know, I don't know that there are words.
I think that that every word isis is useful in in some way or
another.
SPEAKER_00 (53:42):
Okay.
Okay.
Um, I don't think that we shouldbe saying, you're fine.
Stop telling, stop telling kids.
You're fine.
Because they might not be.
They might not be.
They might not be.
They might not be.
SPEAKER_01 (53:59):
So Tamra's giving me something to think about.
I was gonna say because I saidso, but I think that's linked to
my childhood, and there's someties to that because it didn't
give me a chance to exploreanything.
That was like the done deal.
So um, I'm open to learn.
I can't wait for the secondepisode.
SPEAKER_04 (54:20):
Mess me up, Jen, because this needs to have room
to breathe now.
SPEAKER_01 (54:27):
Yeah, we're gonna invite people to come back
because it's gonna be a good,good episode.
And you know, um, thanks forcoming back.
Thanks for inviting.
I appreciate it.
Well, you know us to take theelevator.
We say, look up and let'selevate every day, elevate every
(54:53):
day.
unknown (54:55):
Calibate, every day, calibate.
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