July 30, 2025 • 29 mins
Rich walks Sullivan's Island beach, highlighting the community cleanup efforts and introducing two humorous stories that capture life's awkward yet memorable moments.
• The "Bison Jam" story follows a family vacation in Yellowstone where a 10-year-old boy innocently abbreviates "Bison Jam" to "BJ," creating an uncomfortable teaching moment
• A father struggles to explain adult terminology to his son, resulting in the child's hilariously innocent response: "Why would anybody want to do that? That's just gross!"
• The "Bombastic Buttocks Bee Sting" recounts a Tuesday night golf league where an errant drive hits a beverage cart attendant
• What begins as a minor sting develops into a massive bruise, teaching golf etiquette lessons about BevCart workers being unintentional targets
• Rich concludes with a heartfelt recommendation of the film "CODA" about a hearing daughter in a deaf fishing family
• Sullivan's Island serves as Rich's creative sanctuary where most of his podcast stories are conceived
If you enjoyed these stories, please subscribe to Tales from the First Tee for more authentic, humorous, and sometimes touching narratives from the golf course and beyond.
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
You're listening to an episode of Tales from the
First Tee.
I'm your host, rich Easton,recording from beautiful
Charleston, south Carolina.
I'm doing my Sunday beach walkon Sullivan's Island, one of the
(00:38):
cleanest beaches on the EastCoast, primarily due to the
efforts of the local communityLed by my friend Jeff Parrish
and his faithful companion Elvis, and, of course, his mindful
partner Jody, who I understandmakes the best pepperoni rolls
or some incredibly delicioussnacks.
(00:59):
So, jody, if you're listening,come on, girl, bring it, turn it
up, turn it up, turn it up,turn it up, turn it up, turn it
up, turn it up, turn it up, turnit up.
If you're ever walking theisland on a Sunday morning and
you see people walking withthese green bags, that's a
(01:20):
result of the efforts of thecommunity to enlist their own
people to walk the beaches andkeep them clean.
I think it's great.
We all find inspiration fromdifferent places and people.
Sullivan's Island happens to bemy harmonic convergence.
Most of the 61 episodes fromTales has been written or
(01:52):
fine-tuned at the island.
So it's last Sunday and I'mwalking early in the morning and
I run into a friend that I hadjust met a few weeks back let's
call him Chet Astoria While wewere chatting at the COVID
cabana, chet shares this storyabout a coming of age story with
his son while they were doing afamily vacation out west and I
(02:14):
thought you know what?
I just ran into him.
I'm working on this story.
Let's air this story, and it'sa story I call Bison Jam and at
the same time, I'll share astory about an incident that
happened at the big game of theweek on Tuesday nights at
Charleston National.
I mean, it's a story that hadme and some of my buddies in
(02:36):
stitches and it's a story thatI'd like to call the Bombastic
Buttocks Beasting.
I I love alliterations.
Anyway, here you go, bison Jam.
(03:12):
This is a story about thethings we tell our kids that
make us feel better and confusethem even more.
I've recently been introduced toa new sphere of friends that
seem to like to have fun.
Isn't that why most people cometo Charleston?
(03:34):
It's certainly why they stay.
One of them, who I actuallycrossed paths with six years ago
, his name Chet Astoria.
Chet shares this great comingof age story with his
10-year-old son.
Once that I heard that his sonwas doing a sports podcast.
I want to know more about thiskid, 10 years old, doing a
sports podcast with his buddies,the future voice of his
(03:57):
generation.
Well, as the sage Buddhist monkonce said, we shall see, we
shall see.
See.
Now, I don't know why he saidit twice.
Maybe most Buddhist monks godeaf from that huge gong.
Either way, it's effective,we'll see.
(04:20):
So Chet's son let's call himMike Get it Podcast.
Mike, come on, man, keep up,listen.
Mike's traveling with his familyon an excursion in Yellowstone
Park and came upon this herd ofbison.
If you've never experienced it,it takes your breath away.
(04:45):
For most people that have nevergone on a safari, myself
included, and only know Big Gamefrom the zoo, it's as real as
it gets.
You know you're protected byyour vehicle, but those bovine
are unpredictable.
Mike likes to abbreviate things, and so Chet and Mike are going
back and forth on what do wecall this?
(05:07):
What do we call these bisons?
And they're looking at allthese bisons.
They're stuck in traffic.
And Chet goes man, this is somebison jam.
And Mike goes I got it, theAwesome BJ.
Chet and Mike are going back andforth with different initials
(05:27):
to describe this bison jam, andChet and his wife and the rest
of the riders in the excursionjust start laughing every time
Mike goes no, bj, awesome BJ.
Chet's wife leans over to himand says hey, explain what a BJ
is to Mike.
We can't have him leaving thisvan talking about the awesome BJ
(05:48):
in the back of the van.
So Chet walks to the back ofthe bus next to the pisser it
was described to me as a pisseronly because no number twos.
Number one there's noventilation back there.
Number two the walls are thin.
No number twos.
So now Chet's struggling to findthe words to help Mike out and
(06:11):
he just basically says okay,mike, a BJ is initials for a
blowjob, and that is when a girltakes your penis and puts it in
her mouth.
Are you sure about that?
And before Chet could finishhis thought, little Mike just
said why would anybody want todo that?
(06:33):
You're not going to put that inyour mouth, are you?
You did.
Okay, that's just gross.
And the bus heard it andbasically started laughing.
First of all, cutest commentever.
Second of all, enjoy naivetywhile it lasts.
And according to all theresearch I've been privy to Mike
(06:54):
in seven years, you're going toknow the answer to that.
And third and most important,let's hope that Mrs Astoria
doesn't feel the same way.
The bombastic buttocks beesting.
(07:17):
The bombastic buttocks beesting.
Okay, golf fans, here is a golfstory Two weeks ago.
It's a Tuesday afternoon and I'mover at Charleston National,
back in their practice area, andif any of you live in the
Charleston area, charlestonNational, for a semi-private
(07:38):
course, has the best practicefacility in the entire county.
So when I feel like hittingballs and I can't get on the
course, I go back to thepractice area.
It gives me almost as muchsatisfaction.
Tuesday night at 5 30, there'salways a league and it's
typically 60 to 70 guys come toplay a two-man scramble and that
(08:02):
becomes all prize money.
And when they pay out first,second and third place skins and
closest to the pin, achievingany of those puts you in a
pretty good position to go homewith some more cash than you
came in with.
But that's easily said.
The way the teams are set up iswhen you combine your handicaps.
(08:24):
It cannot be less than 15.
And so you can't put twoscratch players together.
You can't put two threes orfours together.
Comb combined handicap has tobe 15 or greater, and so you get
some really good players comingout for this, because there's a
lot of cash and, plus, it's theonly game in town on a Tuesday
(08:47):
night and so for me it's beenhard for me to find a partner
that could bomb the ball so thatwe can get close enough so I
could use my short game in myputting to win some holes, maybe
win some skins.
So I'm throwing my clubs in thetrunk and I see one of our more
popular BevCard girls.
(09:09):
Let's call her Hermosa.
Now if you could suspend yourdisbelief for a second, if
Connie Britton and CarrieUnderwood were to have a baby,
it would grow up looking likeHermosa.
But here's the thing she hasher master's degree in education
, teaches math and raised threeboys.
(09:29):
So she's more than just apretty face.
She probably has more years ofeducation than most of the
foursomes combined.
But she is an Alabama fan.
So, hey, nobody's perfect.
(09:52):
So like always when we see eachother, we exchange pleasantries,
talk about what's going on, andthen kind of move on and she
goes to me hey, you playingtonight.
And I'm like well, no, I justpracticed and what I really need
is a partner who could hit theball a mile.
And I kind of explain it to herand she just stops me in my
tracks, she goes hold on asecond.
She says look, my son is a sixhandicap.
(10:15):
He's been playing a lot and Ithink he'd like to play in this.
He hasn't played in this before.
Let me give him a call.
I'm like, yeah, I'm up for that, sure.
And she goes.
He could hit the ball a mileand I'm thinking that's exactly
what I need to play in this.
She calls him, she hangs up thephone and she hangs up the
phone.
That's like such an oldexpression.
So she gets off the phone andlooks at me and she says, yeah,
(10:39):
my son would like to play andhis name is let's call him Ben.
She goes yeah, ben, you knowhe's been playing a lot.
He's been playing really well.
He'd like to do this.
And I'm like great.
So I get in my car.
It's now 3.30.
I've got two hours.
It's a hundred degrees out.
I need to head back and justload up with liquids.
I come back to the course alittle close to five and I meet
(11:03):
her son.
Nice kid, early twenties.
He just exited the food andbeverage business and that kills
you If you're doing food andbed for a while and most people
that are listening to this thathave done it it just wears you
down and he got worn down.
So he's now in transportationand distribution, which right
(11:24):
now is giving him a little moretime to play golf.
And we meet each other and weget our scorecard and it's a
two-man scramble.
So we're both going to play ourbest shots.
After you know, after we eachhit and we get the scorecard and
it shows it's a scramble andthere are have to be 60 to 70
(11:44):
people out there, so at leastone foursome per hole, if not
two, and we end up at 7A.
We're the first foursome to hiton the seventh hole.
Now, the seventh hole atCharleston National is not where
you want to start a scrambleFrom the white tee boxes.
It is 200 yards over water, withmarsh on the right, sand traps
(12:10):
on the right, 200 yards out, avery small green traps on the
left, woods on the left, and sothere's one place to hit the
ball.
You got to go right at thegreen because if you pull it
you're up over this hill bythese oak trees.
Impossible to get up and down,impossible.
I've been playing the coursefor seven years.
I've never seen anybody get upand down from behind the hill
(12:33):
because it's hard dirt and rootsand if you hit it to the right,
you're in the water.
So we start off with the firsthole.
Seven, and typically to comethe money.
Um, in this Tuesday nightleague you've got to be at least
four under par.
Playing nine holes, four underpar.
So we play the first hole andhe hits his up to the left by
(12:55):
the oak trees.
I dump mine in the water.
Not a good place to start.
We almost get up and down.
But, like I said, I've neverseen it and my imagination was
not that strong.
On the first hole we end upwith a bogey.
Not a good time to start.
You don't want to start this.
You don't want to get anybogeys if you're going to win.
So then we go on to play thenext eight holes.
(13:18):
So then we go on to play thenext eight holes, and I would
tell you that we had birdiechances for the next eight holes
.
We were on in regulation forthe next eight holes and we only
got two birdies to put us oneunder and we were tied for 10th.
But the story isn't about howwe scored, although I think as a
twosome we have promise for thefuture.
(13:39):
The story is when we get to thethird hole.
So we played seven, eight, nine, and then we go to one, two,
and now we get to the third hole.
Now we are grooving, we arehitting some really good shots
and I think by this time we'reeven par, maybe even one under,
and we get to this hole.
This is the most treacherousdriving hole on the entire
(14:00):
course it's only like 370, butit is a severe dogleg right.
You cannot drive the ballstraight.
If you hit the ball straight,you go through the fairway, you
almost go on to another fairwayand then you're blocked by all
these oak trees.
To hit it to this elevatedgreen on the right Can't hit
there.
You can't hit to the rightbecause in this dogleg right
(14:23):
they have all these oak treesand there's an alligator pit.
I mean, there is this pond withgators and snakes and you don't
want to hit it there.
And so the best shot is to takea baby, draw up and over the
trees to the center of thefairway and maybe have a 130 to
150 yard shot in.
But it's not easy to do, it'sdaunting, it's difficult.
(14:47):
Or you could take an iron andhit maybe 180 or 190 yard shot
and then have 160, 170 to an up.
That's probably the safe play.
We get up to the hole and wecould see we're waiting.
We could see the foursome infront of us had had stopped and
they're getting drinks.
So hermosa is serving drinks tothese guys in front of us.
(15:10):
So we got a little weight andwe start talking.
It gives us time to talk on thet-box and we're playing against
another twosome and I know oneof the two guys.
His name is Mark and this guy Iknow him from the course.
He works there and a few monthsback he decided to enlist in
the reserves.
It's going to pay for hiseducation.
(15:30):
It's going to help him do a fewthings, originally from upstate
great sense of humor and wealways got along.
And he listens to my podcast.
So props to Mark, thank you,anyway.
So we're talking and he's kindof telling us what his life was
like in the reserves and howdifficult it was.
And he hadn't played golf in along time, so he's a little
rusty.
His roommate could hit the balla country mile.
(15:53):
So now we're waiting andwaiting.
Hermosa's serving the guys infront of us.
They then go hit their ballsand now it's our turn to hit and
Hermosa starts driving her cartup the cart path.
Now she's only 230, 240 yardsaway from us on the left, not a
place you want to hit, like.
If you hit towards her, you'reblocked out by the oak trees.
(16:14):
So we happen to have won thelast hole.
So Ben and I get to hit ourshot.
Ben hits this beautiful shot upand over the trees with a baby
draw.
We're maybe 125 out.
I hit a shot, almost hits thetrees, ends up in the fairway.
We're going to take his driveBetter than mine.
I mean I think we've got 125out.
(16:35):
Now it's Mark's turn and we'retalking.
Mark gets up and Mark decides totake a driver Dangerous play,
like I said, there were so manybad plays with the driver there
but he decides hey, I haven'tplayed in a while, I'm going to
crush this drive.
And he gets up and he hits thisdrive and it starts off in the
center of the fairway.
(16:56):
So it looks like this thing isgoing to run way out there and
way past and into behind the oaktrees.
It starts hooking to the leftand it's hooking and hooking and
we're seeing the ball start tohook towards Hermosa and it's
getting closer and closer andwe're yelling four, four, four
and all of a sudden in thedistance, we hear this sound.
(17:19):
Four.
And all of a sudden in thedistance, we hear this sound,
this click sound, and then wehear what seemed to be a
plaintiff whale and I had to usethat term has only been used in
the OJ Simpson trial, as far asI know but there is a scream.
Hermosa is like ah, ah, butit's like you know it's, it's
like 240 yards away, so it'slike that.
And so Ben looks at me and hegoes that's just my mom being
(17:42):
dramatic, she could be reallydramatic and I'm like, yeah, you
know, women, guys are alllaughing.
And now it's our turn, now todrive up, to go see our drives.
And as we're driving up toHermosa, she's now out of the
golf cart and she's kind oflaughing.
And we get up there and shegoes look at this.
And she points over Mark's ballis sitting in the golf cart and
(18:07):
he played this Bridgestone witha big B on it.
And we're sitting there,looking at the big B sitting
there in the golf court, and shesaid your ball hit me in the
ass.
And we're like come on, no, itdidn't, it didn't.
She goes, look at this and sheturns around, she lifts up her
skirt with shorts, pulls them upso we could see a red welt on
(18:31):
her left buttocks, ouch.
And she goes this thing hit me.
And then it went up in the airand it just landed here in the
cart and we're like you okay,you okay, and she goes.
She's laughing about it, becausewhen you get hit by a golf ball
and you don't get hit in thehead or in some place that
knocks you out, the firstfeeling is like a sting and then
(18:52):
progressively it gets worse.
So we're all laughing about thestory and Mark looks at his
ball.
It's got a B.
He goes hey, that was like a B,a bee sting.
And I said it's a bombastic beesting.
And we're all laughing yeah,it's a bee sting into the
buttocks.
We're high-fiving it.
She's not laughing that muchanymore and he decides well, let
(19:12):
me buy a drink.
And he gives her the rest ofthe money that he had in his
wallet and it's like I'm sorry,I'm sorry.
And so now we get that, we'relaughing about it and Ben is
like hey, mom, are you okay?
And she's like I'm fine, ben,I'm fine, we get on, we keep
playing, we finish the round, wego up to the bar and we're kind
of telling stories and Hermosacomes up and she says, hey, you
(19:35):
know, thanks for playing with myson.
And I'm like, hey, iseverything okay?
She goes, yeah, it reallydoesn't hurt that much.
Ouch, fast forward 24 hours.
I post a picture of her.
I said just point to yourbuttocks, you know, don't lift
it back up.
We don't want, you know, I'mnot sure you want the world to
see that, but just point at yourbuttocks.
(19:55):
And she kind of points, she'ssmiling, and she points to
herself and I take that pictureand I post it, and she sees my
post and the next day she takesmy post and she adds a picture
and the picture was what herbruise looks like 24 hours later
.
So again, lifts up her skirt,lifts up her shorts and it is
(20:18):
black and blue, holy shit.
And it is no longer the size ofa golf ball, it is two to three
times the size of a baseball.
I mean, this bee sting put ahurt on her, but her attitude
(20:38):
was great.
Her attitude was fine.
I want to roll tight and roll,I want to roll tight.
And so the lessons learned hereare if you're a BevCorp girl
lady and you can see golfers andyou're within 240 yards out and
(21:04):
you could see them and they cansee.
You believe it or not, you area subconscious target.
Golf is all about targets.
It's what you put in your mindand I've talked about this in
previous episodes.
If somebody says, don't hit itin the water, don't hit it in
the woods, don't don't.
All your mind thinks about isthat second thing the woods, the
water.
So golf, played right andplayed well, is very target
(21:29):
focused, and so if you're aBevCart person and you are
somewhere that could be apotential target, even though
people don't want to hit there,there is a really good chance
they're going to hit there.
So my advice is stay back.
Or, once people hit, then pullup.
And my second lesson peoplefrom Alabama man, they is tough.
(21:55):
And my advice to my friend Markdon't use a driver on that hole
and if you do, just lighten upon your right hand, take it easy
with your right hand.
That's it, anyway.
The bombastic bee sting.
It was a beauty.
(22:31):
Every once in a while I veer offthe path of golf stories
because I find somethinginteresting, noteworthy, funny
or heartwarming.
I throw my thoughts into thestream of the media and, like a
wet spitball, throw it against ablackboard.
Sometimes it bounces off andsometimes it sticks, and I hope
this sticks.
My dear friend, tracy suggestedwe go to the movies the other
night and go to the TerraceTheater on James Island and if
(22:54):
you like old throwback theatersthat serve alcohol, james Island
and if you like old throwbacktheaters that serve alcohol, the
Terrace is a really goodexperience.
The movie she chose to see wasCODA, c-o-d-a.
Now I'm just starting to get mymovie enthusiasm back again.
I'm a huge movie fan and ifyou've listened to the podcast
before, you'll hear soundbitesfrom movies that just happen to
(23:16):
pop up in my head while I'mtelling stories.
But I'm rusty.
I haven't been on my Regal appfor 18 months so I didn't know
what CODA was all about.
But I know Tracy pretty well.
She never steers me wrong,particularly in the area of the
arts and food.
So before we went to the moviesI decided to pull up a preview
(23:38):
of CODA and immediately textedTracy back and said I'm in,
bring the Kleenex If we're lucky.
Particularly as men.
As we age, our compassion andempathy for others increases to
a point where certain triggersinfluence tears.
For me, the big screen hasalways been an effect on my
(23:58):
emotions.
I mean, who didn't tear up atthe end of Rudy Rocky Tin Cup,
the Karate Kid Seabiscuit,brian's Song, friday Night
Lights, the movie and the TVseries.
Remember the Titans and Fieldof Dreams, where Kevin Costner
asks his father if he wants tohave a catch?
(24:20):
I mean, come on.
And recently, ted Lasso man.
That is another tearjerker.
And these are only the sportsmovies.
This guy is literally a moron.
I could do an entire episode ontear-provoking cinema, but
that's clearly outside my levelof expertise.
No shit, sherlock.
So CODA C-O-D-A it's an acronymfor Children of Deaf Adults.
(24:46):
The star of CODA, emily Jones,is a 19-year-old actress from
England who could sing her heartout.
The movie takes place in afishing village in Gloucester,
massachusetts, where a familythat earns their living from
fishing are all deaf the mother,the father, the son, except for
the daughter, ruby, who gets upat three o'clock in the morning
(25:10):
with the family, fishes withthem professionally and then
goes on to high school.
And then, while she's in highschool, she finds out that she
could sing.
She goes to a chorus class andthe music teacher just finds
that this girl has a voice andhe's behind her all the way.
This is the first movie of itskind to share the lives of a
(25:31):
deaf family trying to make it inthe world of sound.
Academy Award winning MarleeMaitland was the perfect choice
for the mother.
Her worldwide recognition, Ithink, helped bring attention to
the movie.
But here's the thing she didn'tcarry the movie alone.
The entire cast carried it, butEmily Jones as Ruby man, she
(25:55):
drove it home.
There's a scene at the end ofthe movie where she's
auditioning for the BerkleeSchool of Music and understand
she had talked to her parentsabout wanting to do this.
They didn't want her leavingthe home.
She was part of the four ofthem, she could speak, so she
helped them with their family,business and everything in life.
And the mom just didn't wanther daughter to leave.
(26:16):
But she's a strong-willedperson.
She believes that she needsthis.
She needs to leave the familyand she's going to try and
audition to a very difficultschool to get in.
I mean, their admissionspercentage is really low, single
digit, so it's hard to get inthere.
So now she goes into SING andshe's got these adult faculty
(26:39):
three of faculty members thatare listening and they're giving
her a hard time Like in everymovie you've ever seen where
somebody has to addition tosomething that's hard to get
into.
You know, whoever the committeeis, they're really tough and
they're really tough on her.
And she starts singing.
It's not going well and thenall of a sudden she looks up and
she sees her family up in thebalcony that come to watch her.
(27:00):
They can't hear a thing thatshe's singing, but they're going
to come support her and watchher.
And as she is starting off tosing to the committee, she sees
her family.
She looks up and she continuessinging and belting out this
Joni Mitchell song while shestarts to sign.
And now the faculty is lookingup and they see that she's
(27:30):
signing to these people and itmakes, all of a sudden it
changes their disposition.
So she sings this song and asshe's singing it, tracy looks
over at me and I can't wipe awayenough tears and she just
smiles and she goes of course.
Look, I'm a sucker for awell-written, perfectly acted
(27:54):
movie and throw in a voice andI'm toast.
So if you've got nothing to doand you're tired of the world
shutting down because of thisnew Delta variant, go see it,
because once you see it, youcan't unsee it.
You've been listening to anepisode of Tales, released a
(28:23):
little bit early because I'mhoping Jody hears it and makes
those incredible pepperoni rollsor whatever that snack is that
everybody's talking about.
That everybody's talking about.
I'm your host, rich Easton,telling tales in beautiful
Sullivan's Island in Charleston,south Carolina.
(28:43):
Talk to you soon, thank you.
You're listening to an episode of Tales from the
First Tee.
I'm your host, rich Easton,recording from beautiful
Charleston, south Carolina.
I'm doing my Sunday beach walkon Sullivan's Island, one of the
(00:38):
cleanest beaches on the EastCoast, primarily due to the
efforts of the local communityLed by my friend Jeff Parrish
and his faithful companion Elvis, and, of course, his mindful
partner Jody, who I understandmakes the best pepperoni rolls
or some incredibly delicioussnacks.
(00:59):
So, jody, if you're listening,come on, girl, bring it, turn it
up, turn it up, turn it up,turn it up, turn it up, turn it
up, turn it up, turn it up, turnit up.
If you're ever walking theisland on a Sunday morning and
you see people walking withthese green bags, that's a
(01:20):
result of the efforts of thecommunity to enlist their own
people to walk the beaches andkeep them clean.
I think it's great.
We all find inspiration fromdifferent places and people.
Sullivan's Island happens to bemy harmonic convergence.
Most of the 61 episodes fromTales has been written or
(01:52):
fine-tuned at the island.
So it's last Sunday and I'mwalking early in the morning and
I run into a friend that I hadjust met a few weeks back let's
call him Chet Astoria While wewere chatting at the COVID
cabana, chet shares this storyabout a coming of age story with
his son while they were doing afamily vacation out west and I
(02:14):
thought you know what?
I just ran into him.
I'm working on this story.
Let's air this story, and it'sa story I call Bison Jam and at
the same time, I'll share astory about an incident that
happened at the big game of theweek on Tuesday nights at
Charleston National.
I mean, it's a story that hadme and some of my buddies in
(02:36):
stitches and it's a story thatI'd like to call the Bombastic
Buttocks Beasting.
I I love alliterations.
Anyway, here you go, bison Jam.
(03:12):
This is a story about thethings we tell our kids that
make us feel better and confusethem even more.
I've recently been introduced toa new sphere of friends that
seem to like to have fun.
Isn't that why most people cometo Charleston?
(03:34):
It's certainly why they stay.
One of them, who I actuallycrossed paths with six years ago
, his name Chet Astoria.
Chet shares this great comingof age story with his
10-year-old son.
Once that I heard that his sonwas doing a sports podcast.
I want to know more about thiskid, 10 years old, doing a
sports podcast with his buddies,the future voice of his
(03:57):
generation.
Well, as the sage Buddhist monkonce said, we shall see, we
shall see.
See.
Now, I don't know why he saidit twice.
Maybe most Buddhist monks godeaf from that huge gong.
Either way, it's effective,we'll see.
(04:20):
So Chet's son let's call himMike Get it Podcast.
Mike, come on, man, keep up,listen.
Mike's traveling with his familyon an excursion in Yellowstone
Park and came upon this herd ofbison.
If you've never experienced it,it takes your breath away.
(04:45):
For most people that have nevergone on a safari, myself
included, and only know Big Gamefrom the zoo, it's as real as
it gets.
You know you're protected byyour vehicle, but those bovine
are unpredictable.
Mike likes to abbreviate things, and so Chet and Mike are going
back and forth on what do wecall this?
(05:07):
What do we call these bisons?
And they're looking at allthese bisons.
They're stuck in traffic.
And Chet goes man, this is somebison jam.
And Mike goes I got it, theAwesome BJ.
Chet and Mike are going back andforth with different initials
(05:27):
to describe this bison jam, andChet and his wife and the rest
of the riders in the excursionjust start laughing every time
Mike goes no, bj, awesome BJ.
Chet's wife leans over to himand says hey, explain what a BJ
is to Mike.
We can't have him leaving thisvan talking about the awesome BJ
(05:48):
in the back of the van.
So Chet walks to the back ofthe bus next to the pisser it
was described to me as a pisseronly because no number twos.
Number one there's noventilation back there.
Number two the walls are thin.
No number twos.
So now Chet's struggling to findthe words to help Mike out and
(06:11):
he just basically says okay,mike, a BJ is initials for a
blowjob, and that is when a girltakes your penis and puts it in
her mouth.
Are you sure about that?
And before Chet could finishhis thought, little Mike just
said why would anybody want todo that?
(06:33):
You're not going to put that inyour mouth, are you?
You did.
Okay, that's just gross.
And the bus heard it andbasically started laughing.
First of all, cutest commentever.
Second of all, enjoy naivetywhile it lasts.
And according to all theresearch I've been privy to Mike
(06:54):
in seven years, you're going toknow the answer to that.
And third and most important,let's hope that Mrs Astoria
doesn't feel the same way.
The bombastic buttocks beesting.
(07:17):
The bombastic buttocks beesting.
Okay, golf fans, here is a golfstory Two weeks ago.
It's a Tuesday afternoon and I'mover at Charleston National,
back in their practice area, andif any of you live in the
Charleston area, charlestonNational, for a semi-private
(07:38):
course, has the best practicefacility in the entire county.
So when I feel like hittingballs and I can't get on the
course, I go back to thepractice area.
It gives me almost as muchsatisfaction.
Tuesday night at 5 30, there'salways a league and it's
typically 60 to 70 guys come toplay a two-man scramble and that
(08:02):
becomes all prize money.
And when they pay out first,second and third place skins and
closest to the pin, achievingany of those puts you in a
pretty good position to go homewith some more cash than you
came in with.
But that's easily said.
The way the teams are set up iswhen you combine your handicaps.
(08:24):
It cannot be less than 15.
And so you can't put twoscratch players together.
You can't put two threes orfours together.
Comb combined handicap has tobe 15 or greater, and so you get
some really good players comingout for this, because there's a
lot of cash and, plus, it's theonly game in town on a Tuesday
(08:47):
night and so for me it's beenhard for me to find a partner
that could bomb the ball so thatwe can get close enough so I
could use my short game in myputting to win some holes, maybe
win some skins.
So I'm throwing my clubs in thetrunk and I see one of our more
popular BevCard girls.
(09:09):
Let's call her Hermosa.
Now if you could suspend yourdisbelief for a second, if
Connie Britton and CarrieUnderwood were to have a baby,
it would grow up looking likeHermosa.
But here's the thing she hasher master's degree in education
, teaches math and raised threeboys.
(09:29):
So she's more than just apretty face.
She probably has more years ofeducation than most of the
foursomes combined.
But she is an Alabama fan.
So, hey, nobody's perfect.
(09:52):
So like always when we see eachother, we exchange pleasantries,
talk about what's going on, andthen kind of move on and she
goes to me hey, you playingtonight.
And I'm like well, no, I justpracticed and what I really need
is a partner who could hit theball a mile.
And I kind of explain it to herand she just stops me in my
tracks, she goes hold on asecond.
She says look, my son is a sixhandicap.
(10:15):
He's been playing a lot and Ithink he'd like to play in this.
He hasn't played in this before.
Let me give him a call.
I'm like, yeah, I'm up for that, sure.
And she goes.
He could hit the ball a mileand I'm thinking that's exactly
what I need to play in this.
She calls him, she hangs up thephone and she hangs up the
phone.
That's like such an oldexpression.
So she gets off the phone andlooks at me and she says, yeah,
(10:39):
my son would like to play andhis name is let's call him Ben.
She goes yeah, ben, you knowhe's been playing a lot.
He's been playing really well.
He'd like to do this.
And I'm like great.
So I get in my car.
It's now 3.30.
I've got two hours.
It's a hundred degrees out.
I need to head back and justload up with liquids.
I come back to the course alittle close to five and I meet
(11:03):
her son.
Nice kid, early twenties.
He just exited the food andbeverage business and that kills
you If you're doing food andbed for a while and most people
that are listening to this thathave done it it just wears you
down and he got worn down.
So he's now in transportationand distribution, which right
(11:24):
now is giving him a little moretime to play golf.
And we meet each other and weget our scorecard and it's a
two-man scramble.
So we're both going to play ourbest shots.
After you know, after we eachhit and we get the scorecard and
it shows it's a scramble andthere are have to be 60 to 70
(11:44):
people out there, so at leastone foursome per hole, if not
two, and we end up at 7A.
We're the first foursome to hiton the seventh hole.
Now, the seventh hole atCharleston National is not where
you want to start a scrambleFrom the white tee boxes.
It is 200 yards over water, withmarsh on the right, sand traps
(12:10):
on the right, 200 yards out, avery small green traps on the
left, woods on the left, and sothere's one place to hit the
ball.
You got to go right at thegreen because if you pull it
you're up over this hill bythese oak trees.
Impossible to get up and down,impossible.
I've been playing the coursefor seven years.
I've never seen anybody get upand down from behind the hill
(12:33):
because it's hard dirt and rootsand if you hit it to the right,
you're in the water.
So we start off with the firsthole.
Seven, and typically to comethe money.
Um, in this Tuesday nightleague you've got to be at least
four under par.
Playing nine holes, four underpar.
So we play the first hole andhe hits his up to the left by
(12:55):
the oak trees.
I dump mine in the water.
Not a good place to start.
We almost get up and down.
But, like I said, I've neverseen it and my imagination was
not that strong.
On the first hole we end upwith a bogey.
Not a good time to start.
You don't want to start this.
You don't want to get anybogeys if you're going to win.
So then we go on to play thenext eight holes.
(13:18):
So then we go on to play thenext eight holes, and I would
tell you that we had birdiechances for the next eight holes
.
We were on in regulation forthe next eight holes and we only
got two birdies to put us oneunder and we were tied for 10th.
But the story isn't about howwe scored, although I think as a
twosome we have promise for thefuture.
(13:39):
The story is when we get to thethird hole.
So we played seven, eight, nine, and then we go to one, two,
and now we get to the third hole.
Now we are grooving, we arehitting some really good shots
and I think by this time we'reeven par, maybe even one under,
and we get to this hole.
This is the most treacherousdriving hole on the entire
(14:00):
course it's only like 370, butit is a severe dogleg right.
You cannot drive the ballstraight.
If you hit the ball straight,you go through the fairway, you
almost go on to another fairwayand then you're blocked by all
these oak trees.
To hit it to this elevatedgreen on the right Can't hit
there.
You can't hit to the rightbecause in this dogleg right
(14:23):
they have all these oak treesand there's an alligator pit.
I mean, there is this pond withgators and snakes and you don't
want to hit it there.
And so the best shot is to takea baby, draw up and over the
trees to the center of thefairway and maybe have a 130 to
150 yard shot in.
But it's not easy to do, it'sdaunting, it's difficult.
(14:47):
Or you could take an iron andhit maybe 180 or 190 yard shot
and then have 160, 170 to an up.
That's probably the safe play.
We get up to the hole and wecould see we're waiting.
We could see the foursome infront of us had had stopped and
they're getting drinks.
So hermosa is serving drinks tothese guys in front of us.
(15:10):
So we got a little weight andwe start talking.
It gives us time to talk on thet-box and we're playing against
another twosome and I know oneof the two guys.
His name is Mark and this guy Iknow him from the course.
He works there and a few monthsback he decided to enlist in
the reserves.
It's going to pay for hiseducation.
(15:30):
It's going to help him do a fewthings, originally from upstate
great sense of humor and wealways got along.
And he listens to my podcast.
So props to Mark, thank you,anyway.
So we're talking and he's kindof telling us what his life was
like in the reserves and howdifficult it was.
And he hadn't played golf in along time, so he's a little
rusty.
His roommate could hit the balla country mile.
(15:53):
So now we're waiting andwaiting.
Hermosa's serving the guys infront of us.
They then go hit their ballsand now it's our turn to hit and
Hermosa starts driving her cartup the cart path.
Now she's only 230, 240 yardsaway from us on the left, not a
place you want to hit, like.
If you hit towards her, you'reblocked out by the oak trees.
(16:14):
So we happen to have won thelast hole.
So Ben and I get to hit ourshot.
Ben hits this beautiful shot upand over the trees with a baby
draw.
We're maybe 125 out.
I hit a shot, almost hits thetrees, ends up in the fairway.
We're going to take his driveBetter than mine.
I mean I think we've got 125out.
(16:35):
Now it's Mark's turn and we'retalking.
Mark gets up and Mark decides totake a driver Dangerous play,
like I said, there were so manybad plays with the driver there
but he decides hey, I haven'tplayed in a while, I'm going to
crush this drive.
And he gets up and he hits thisdrive and it starts off in the
center of the fairway.
(16:56):
So it looks like this thing isgoing to run way out there and
way past and into behind the oaktrees.
It starts hooking to the leftand it's hooking and hooking and
we're seeing the ball start tohook towards Hermosa and it's
getting closer and closer andwe're yelling four, four, four
and all of a sudden in thedistance, we hear this sound.
(17:19):
Four.
And all of a sudden in thedistance, we hear this sound,
this click sound, and then wehear what seemed to be a
plaintiff whale and I had to usethat term has only been used in
the OJ Simpson trial, as far asI know but there is a scream.
Hermosa is like ah, ah, butit's like you know it's, it's
like 240 yards away, so it'slike that.
And so Ben looks at me and hegoes that's just my mom being
(17:42):
dramatic, she could be reallydramatic and I'm like, yeah, you
know, women, guys are alllaughing.
And now it's our turn, now todrive up, to go see our drives.
And as we're driving up toHermosa, she's now out of the
golf cart and she's kind oflaughing.
And we get up there and shegoes look at this.
And she points over Mark's ballis sitting in the golf cart and
(18:07):
he played this Bridgestone witha big B on it.
And we're sitting there,looking at the big B sitting
there in the golf court, and shesaid your ball hit me in the
ass.
And we're like come on, no, itdidn't, it didn't.
She goes, look at this and sheturns around, she lifts up her
skirt with shorts, pulls them upso we could see a red welt on
(18:31):
her left buttocks, ouch.
And she goes this thing hit me.
And then it went up in the airand it just landed here in the
cart and we're like you okay,you okay, and she goes.
She's laughing about it, becausewhen you get hit by a golf ball
and you don't get hit in thehead or in some place that
knocks you out, the firstfeeling is like a sting and then
(18:52):
progressively it gets worse.
So we're all laughing about thestory and Mark looks at his
ball.
It's got a B.
He goes hey, that was like a B,a bee sting.
And I said it's a bombastic beesting.
And we're all laughing yeah,it's a bee sting into the
buttocks.
We're high-fiving it.
She's not laughing that muchanymore and he decides well, let
(19:12):
me buy a drink.
And he gives her the rest ofthe money that he had in his
wallet and it's like I'm sorry,I'm sorry.
And so now we get that, we'relaughing about it and Ben is
like hey, mom, are you okay?
And she's like I'm fine, ben,I'm fine, we get on, we keep
playing, we finish the round, wego up to the bar and we're kind
of telling stories and Hermosacomes up and she says, hey, you
(19:35):
know, thanks for playing with myson.
And I'm like, hey, iseverything okay?
She goes, yeah, it reallydoesn't hurt that much.
Ouch, fast forward 24 hours.
I post a picture of her.
I said just point to yourbuttocks, you know, don't lift
it back up.
We don't want, you know, I'mnot sure you want the world to
see that, but just point at yourbuttocks.
(19:55):
And she kind of points, she'ssmiling, and she points to
herself and I take that pictureand I post it, and she sees my
post and the next day she takesmy post and she adds a picture
and the picture was what herbruise looks like 24 hours later
.
So again, lifts up her skirt,lifts up her shorts and it is
(20:18):
black and blue, holy shit.
And it is no longer the size ofa golf ball, it is two to three
times the size of a baseball.
I mean, this bee sting put ahurt on her, but her attitude
(20:38):
was great.
Her attitude was fine.
I want to roll tight and roll,I want to roll tight.
And so the lessons learned hereare if you're a BevCorp girl
lady and you can see golfers andyou're within 240 yards out and
(21:04):
you could see them and they cansee.
You believe it or not, you area subconscious target.
Golf is all about targets.
It's what you put in your mindand I've talked about this in
previous episodes.
If somebody says, don't hit itin the water, don't hit it in
the woods, don't don't.
All your mind thinks about isthat second thing the woods, the
water.
So golf, played right andplayed well, is very target
(21:29):
focused, and so if you're aBevCart person and you are
somewhere that could be apotential target, even though
people don't want to hit there,there is a really good chance
they're going to hit there.
So my advice is stay back.
Or, once people hit, then pullup.
And my second lesson peoplefrom Alabama man, they is tough.
(21:55):
And my advice to my friend Markdon't use a driver on that hole
and if you do, just lighten upon your right hand, take it easy
with your right hand.
That's it, anyway.
The bombastic bee sting.
It was a beauty.
(22:31):
Every once in a while I veer offthe path of golf stories
because I find somethinginteresting, noteworthy, funny
or heartwarming.
I throw my thoughts into thestream of the media and, like a
wet spitball, throw it against ablackboard.
Sometimes it bounces off andsometimes it sticks, and I hope
this sticks.
My dear friend, tracy suggestedwe go to the movies the other
night and go to the TerraceTheater on James Island and if
(22:54):
you like old throwback theatersthat serve alcohol, james Island
and if you like old throwbacktheaters that serve alcohol, the
Terrace is a really goodexperience.
The movie she chose to see wasCODA, c-o-d-a.
Now I'm just starting to get mymovie enthusiasm back again.
I'm a huge movie fan and ifyou've listened to the podcast
before, you'll hear soundbitesfrom movies that just happen to
(23:16):
pop up in my head while I'mtelling stories.
But I'm rusty.
I haven't been on my Regal appfor 18 months so I didn't know
what CODA was all about.
But I know Tracy pretty well.
She never steers me wrong,particularly in the area of the
arts and food.
So before we went to the moviesI decided to pull up a preview
(23:38):
of CODA and immediately textedTracy back and said I'm in,
bring the Kleenex If we're lucky.
Particularly as men.
As we age, our compassion andempathy for others increases to
a point where certain triggersinfluence tears.
For me, the big screen hasalways been an effect on my
(23:58):
emotions.
I mean, who didn't tear up atthe end of Rudy Rocky Tin Cup,
the Karate Kid Seabiscuit,brian's Song, friday Night
Lights, the movie and the TVseries.
Remember the Titans and Fieldof Dreams, where Kevin Costner
asks his father if he wants tohave a catch?
(24:20):
I mean, come on.
And recently, ted Lasso man.
That is another tearjerker.
And these are only the sportsmovies.
This guy is literally a moron.
I could do an entire episode ontear-provoking cinema, but
that's clearly outside my levelof expertise.
No shit, sherlock.
So CODA C-O-D-A it's an acronymfor Children of Deaf Adults.
(24:46):
The star of CODA, emily Jones,is a 19-year-old actress from
England who could sing her heartout.
The movie takes place in afishing village in Gloucester,
massachusetts, where a familythat earns their living from
fishing are all deaf the mother,the father, the son, except for
the daughter, ruby, who gets upat three o'clock in the morning
(25:10):
with the family, fishes withthem professionally and then
goes on to high school.
And then, while she's in highschool, she finds out that she
could sing.
She goes to a chorus class andthe music teacher just finds
that this girl has a voice andhe's behind her all the way.
This is the first movie of itskind to share the lives of a
(25:31):
deaf family trying to make it inthe world of sound.
Academy Award winning MarleeMaitland was the perfect choice
for the mother.
Her worldwide recognition, Ithink, helped bring attention to
the movie.
But here's the thing she didn'tcarry the movie alone.
The entire cast carried it, butEmily Jones as Ruby man, she
(25:55):
drove it home.
There's a scene at the end ofthe movie where she's
auditioning for the BerkleeSchool of Music and understand
she had talked to her parentsabout wanting to do this.
They didn't want her leavingthe home.
She was part of the four ofthem, she could speak, so she
helped them with their family,business and everything in life.
And the mom just didn't wanther daughter to leave.
(26:16):
But she's a strong-willedperson.
She believes that she needsthis.
She needs to leave the familyand she's going to try and
audition to a very difficultschool to get in.
I mean, their admissionspercentage is really low, single
digit, so it's hard to get inthere.
So now she goes into SING andshe's got these adult faculty
(26:39):
three of faculty members thatare listening and they're giving
her a hard time Like in everymovie you've ever seen where
somebody has to addition tosomething that's hard to get
into.
You know, whoever the committeeis, they're really tough and
they're really tough on her.
And she starts singing.
It's not going well and thenall of a sudden she looks up and
she sees her family up in thebalcony that come to watch her.
(27:00):
They can't hear a thing thatshe's singing, but they're going
to come support her and watchher.
And as she is starting off tosing to the committee, she sees
her family.
She looks up and she continuessinging and belting out this
Joni Mitchell song while shestarts to sign.
And now the faculty is lookingup and they see that she's
(27:30):
signing to these people and itmakes, all of a sudden it
changes their disposition.
So she sings this song and asshe's singing it, tracy looks
over at me and I can't wipe awayenough tears and she just
smiles and she goes of course.
Look, I'm a sucker for awell-written, perfectly acted
(27:54):
movie and throw in a voice andI'm toast.
So if you've got nothing to doand you're tired of the world
shutting down because of thisnew Delta variant, go see it,
because once you see it, youcan't unsee it.
You've been listening to anepisode of Tales, released a
(28:23):
little bit early because I'mhoping Jody hears it and makes
those incredible pepperoni rollsor whatever that snack is that
everybody's talking about.
That everybody's talking about.
I'm your host, rich Easton,telling tales in beautiful
Sullivan's Island in Charleston,south Carolina.
(28:43):
Talk to you soon, thank you.
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