July 1, 2025 • 28 mins
The holiday season brings both hope and high expectations, but retailers are pushing holiday merchandise earlier every year, with Christmas decorations appearing as early as August.
• The timing of holiday merchandising has shifted dramatically over the years, with retailers extending the selling window to boost sales
• Unsolicited advice rarely helps, especially on the golf course when someone is struggling with their game
• Both men and women gossip equally, serving as either relationship currency or a way to deflect attention from oneself
• Marking your golf ball with distinctive patterns helps identify it and potentially improves alignment for putting
• The holidays are a time for hope—for better relationships, improved circumstances, and meaningful connections
Join us for the final episode of 2024, and here's to a new year filled with better golf, less gossip, and appropriately timed holiday decorations!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
you're tuned in to another episode of tales from
the first tee.
I'm rich easton telling talesfrom beautiful charleston, south
carolina.
Welcome to the 2024 year-endingreflection-pending
(00:33):
seasonal-blending,relationship-mending, holidays,
bank lending and the 129thepisode for Tales.
In this last episode of 2024,I'll reflect on when do you give
advice?
To tell the truth and nothingbut the truth.
Gossiping is a currency ordeflection.
(00:55):
Marking your balls?
Hey, take it easy.
But first a few thoughts on theeffects of the holidays and how
they've changed or remain thesame.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Down in the workshop all the elves were making toys
for the good Gentile girls andthe good Gentile boys when the
boss busted in nearly scared himhalf to death, had a rifle in
his hands and cheap whiskey onhis breath as I'm writing this
episode.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
It's somewhere between Thanksgiving and the New
Year's, right in the heart ofthe holiday season.
And I say right in the heartbecause Thanksgiving used to be
the gate to the holidays.
It was the first of threeholiday rituals that signaled
winter is coming.
But winter is coming.
We know what's coming with it.
(01:48):
We can't face it alone.
So plan your family and friendsgatherings, make reservations
or plan your meals.
Slow your business travelschedule and gather your nuts
for a long hibernation period.
Business travel schedule andgather your nuts for a long
(02:09):
hibernation period.
One noticeable change to me isthat my favorite retailers in
efforts to meet or beat lastyear's holiday sales start
merchandising holiday items wayearlier than last year.
Retailers in efforts to beatlast year have to think of a few
things what are they going tosell?
How are they going to price itand promote it?
What did competition sell lastyear?
(02:30):
What do you think they're goingto sell this year?
And the window of time ofselling those items.
Now, the what, where and whysseems to change moderately every
year.
Hot items like toys, games,tech gadgets, video games and
trendy items like remember theRazor scooters, legos, luxury
(02:51):
sneakers and electric bikes.
They come and go, but it seemslike most retailers, including
online retailers, all go to thesame trade shows and try and
sell a version of the same hotitems every holiday season.
The noticeable change to me isthe when when the retailers
(03:13):
start doing their merchandisingfor the holidays.
Now I remember the days wherethe day after Halloween signaled
Thanksgiving merchandising andtravel promos, the day after
thanksgiving signaled Christmaspromotions.
You know, interesting, I don'trecall a campaign by any
retailer to influence the eightgifts that you give during the
(03:35):
eight days of Hanukkah.
Perhaps most of those weremoney, chocolate covered by gold
, aluminum foil shaped likemoney or blatant piggybacking on
Christmas gift ideas.
Yeah, and before you blast mefor racial profiling, I
celebrated both for years.
So this comes from a place ofpersonal observation, not
(03:58):
othering.
So why am I bringing all ofthis up?
It just so happens that Iwalked into a Costco in late
August to find a display ofholiday wrapping paper, bows and
Christmas lights In August.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
It's Christmas in the summertime the sun is up and I
feel fine.
Christmas in the summertime.
The sun is up and I feel fine.
Christmas in the summertime Letthe summer shine.
It's Christmas in thesummertime, the sun is up and I
feel fine.
Christmas in the summertime.
Let the summer shine.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Man, I swear.
It was a 90 degree day inCharleston with 30% humidity and
I had just sighed with reliefto feel this cool air
conditioning.
When I walked into the Costcowarehouse and came upon the
holiday decoration end cap, itjust didn't feel right thinking
(05:00):
about Christmas in the middle ofAugust.
You know, some people say weshould think about the feelings
associated with the holidays allyear round.
Look, when I was growing up,that was reserved for the
village idiot.
Look, I agree with thesentiments of being kind and
(05:30):
treating others with empathy andcompassion year-round.
I mean, isn't that whatSaturday and Sunday services are
all about?
That being said, I find itoff-brand and certainly
off-season.
Pushing a December experiencein August.
It would be tantamount toselling surfboards and bikinis
(05:52):
in Buffalo between snowstorms.
All I'm saying is, if retailershave a surplus of last year's
holiday items in shippingcontainers or warehouses,
promote them online and promotethem with a drop-down menu on
your website and keep them outof the brick and mortar stores
(06:14):
until you've sold the currentholiday items for the current
holiday.
When it's summertime, wow mewith items that I could use or
gift today.
Please don't tempt me to buyand hoard things for four months
out of fear of missing out onyour high-value items that might
(06:35):
not be there during theholidays.
Look, if you're like me, Amazondelivery people are familiar
with my front steps more than myfriends and family.
Anyway, back to my thoughts onthe holidays.
The holidays, to me, are a timeof hope and high expectations.
(06:55):
Hope that some things getbetter.
Hope that certain relationshipsmend.
Hope that certain relationshipsend.
Hope that health is bestowedupon you and your loved one.
Hope that you break bread withthose who you share values with
and hope that you could findcommon ground with those you
(07:17):
don't.
Hope that your dog doesn't chewup your third Roku remote
controller when you leave foralone too long.
And hope that those you carefor and love love you back.
High expectations that theeconomy improves.
High expectations that the newboss is better than the old boss
(07:38):
.
High expectations that ifyou're a kid, you get that one
item on Santa's list that is farbeyond your parents' means.
High expectations that whateveradult hobby you have, whatever
(08:09):
game you have pickleball, golf,tennis gets better or you're not
picked last for adult soccer orhockey leagues.
High expectations that whateveryou cooked, roasted or baked
makes your guests happy anddoesn't send anybody racing to
(08:29):
the bathroom or the emergencyroom and high expectations that
whatever New Year's resolutionyou made this year sticks longer
than a test spaghetti noodle onthe wall.
And lastly, I toast all of youwho are interested enough to
listen to my holiday episodefrom all over the globe.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Biba Jai Viva.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Pervisex.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
Scholl Narok Slonček Na zdrovie.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Salut federal prison or his infamous crime.
Hey, little friend, now don'tyou cry, no more tears.
He'll be out with good behaviorin 700 more years.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
When is it okay to give advice?
Yeah, I don't think there is acookie cutter pat answer to that
(10:01):
question.
I think everything issituational.
Years ago, when I was asked tomanage teams during my heyday in
corporate america, I foundmyself thrust into a role that
required ad hoc coaching andcounseling, sometimes at a
sequence from the annualperformance appraisal time
period.
So if any one of my team oradjacent team members behaved in
(10:21):
a way that required immediatefeedback, I chose to resolve the
incident with question andanswer sessions that led me to
the cause and effect of whathappened.
And where do we go from here?
Typically, where to go next waswrapped in advice on what to do
more of, less of or clearlydifferently.
(10:44):
That got you in that situation.
My brother, a long-termpracticing shrink, would tell me
how he wasn't concerned withthe reasons why his patients did
something that ended in aharmful result.
He would just tell them hey,stop doing it.
Good advice, right.
(11:05):
Sometimes I didn't have theluxury to cut that close to the
bone.
His patients were coming to himto lessen their pain, so doing
less of something that washurting them or others around
them was simple yet effectiveadvice.
I mean mostly there wereblatant behaviors that didn't
(11:29):
need to be addressed by HR butthat could be corrected with a
simple sentence like hey, stopgossiping, please put your
phones down when the boss istalking to us and, guys, stop
putting strip clubs on yourexpense account.
The guys in accounting don'thave a sense of humor.
(11:50):
I mean, most of the time myadvice was offered as the result
of a failed strategy or tacticsthat resulted in bad outcomes.
That was my role and I wasselected to do it because I had
made some decisions in the pastthat yielded good outcomes and
was able to sweep the bad onesunder the rug.
(12:13):
When I was a parent of youngchildren, I didn't have to give
advice as much as cleardirections Clean up your room,
do your chores, stop hittingyour sister.
When our kids get into theirteens or later.
When our kids get into theirteens or later, we become young
adult consultants.
(12:33):
We're no longer directors.
It happens over a long courseof time and is clearly a result
of how quickly our kids mature.
Now I am a full-time familyconsultant and I only offer
advice when I'm asked or I sensethat a loved one's issues are a
(12:55):
result of self-interference, inother words, they can't get out
of their own way.
Someone once told me don't everoffer advice unless you're
asked, and I would argue thateven when asked, there are times
to hold your tongue.
We've probably all had a friendthat was dating or married to a
(13:18):
classic jerk Usually only badthings to say about other people
Can't have conversations aboutpolitics without calling the
person with a different point ofview a total idiot or roll
their eyes every time theirsignificant other spoke.
So I had a friend just likethat.
(13:42):
They broke up after a night ofdrinking and verbal abuse and it
was obvious that my friend wasstill reeling from the breakup
and asked me my advice on whatto do and how I felt about her
partner.
As soon as she asked me that Iwas looking for a window to jump
through.
(14:03):
This can be a no-win situationif not handled right.
I didn't want to blow smoke upher ass but at the same time
didn't want to play my hand andbecome another one of her
friends.
That warned her about this guy.
If you do a 360 on anyone,there's a general consensus on
(14:23):
how that person treats others,so I didn't need to pile on.
So I just said let time softenthe edges of the breakup and
about the time that I said that,thank God, another person
entered the room, said hi and Idid my famous Irish goodbye.
(14:46):
I couldn't moonwalk out ofthere and, as I see it, if they
end up getting back together,I'm in the clear.
And, of course, in my podcast Ican't go without drawing up a
(15:09):
metaphor or simile to golf.
On the golf course it's commonthat you or your buddies are
going to have a few bad swings,bad holes or even bad rounds.
During the self-destruction youmight notice something that's
causing your buddy's demise.
Whatever you notice, it'scounterproductive to offer
(15:32):
unsolicited advice.
Nobody wants to be coached byanother hacker, particularly
when you're in the middle of aslump.
You want to find it yourself.
It'll make you a betterself-problem solver on the
course, because when things gosouth and you're playing, you
(15:52):
can't just walk off the course,go to the driving range, hit a
bucket of balls until you findyour swing again.
When things get so bad and yourfriend says what the heck am I
doing wrong?
He or she seemingly is nowasking for your advice and,
(16:13):
unless you're a PGA pro, havegiven countless lessons and have
made specific corrections to asimilar type swing flaw, I would
wait until the end of the roundand suggest a pro that can help
them.
The best answer is I don't know.
(16:33):
But I got a guy and here's why,if you suggest a particular
swing change on what to dodifferently, and it doesn't
improve his or her game on thenext shot, guess who the problem
is?
Now you got it.
It's you Gossip.
(17:08):
Is it currency or deflection?
Tis the season to get togetherwith friends, family and
workmates.
A time to bond, a time toreflect with others on the good
(17:33):
old days and a time to talk shitabout anybody who wasn't
invited or chose not to attendthe gathering.
I'm talking gossip.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
I'm calling to tell you the part of my day where I
told your friend what you toldme not to say.
I'm sorry I said it.
I should have kept quiet.
If my mouth was on sale, nobodywould buy it.
You're messy just like yourbestie.
You gossip so much that youlack tons of breastie.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Those of us who engage in idle chatter,
conversation about others'private affairs, things you
rarely say to those you'retalking about directly to their
face, some gossipers see it as achance to build and strengthen
(18:19):
relationships with those whochoose to engage in gossip with
them.
Gossip adds excitement and dramato life.
I've got a good buddy who'sbeen reading Us magazine since
he used to spend hours inairports and in the air.
I mean, how many times can youread American Way in-flight
magazine and look through theSkyMall magazine for the
(18:41):
ultimate gift that says I haveno problem overspending on
gadgets and gifts, because Ialmost forgot about our
anniversary again.
Hey, even though my buddyslowed his roll accumulating
SkyMiles, he still runs to themailbox on Monday mornings, rips
through his weekly subscriptionto get updates on the weekly
(19:02):
celebrity crushes and thisweek's celebrity breakup.
And at first I was like, whatare you reading?
And then I picked up one of hismagazines, started reading
through it and I'm like, hey,this is fun stuff.
Gossip magazines and tabloidmagazines, a multi-billion
(19:23):
dollar industry while decliningin distribution, are being
replaced by TMZ and social mediaplatforms like X, instagram and
, for all us boomers, facebookand Facebook neighborhoods where
every Karen can voice theirdissatisfaction with those crazy
(19:44):
kids riding their e-bikes andscooters way too fast in the
neighborhood.
And as we evolve as a race,gossip continues to keep pace
and sometimes leads theinformation race.
As an informal communicationvessel, gossip serves as a
valuable purpose.
It lets everybody else knowwhen somebody's being a total
(20:05):
douche, to protect them frombeing a future victim of
doucheism.
It can also help us fromwalking into a buzzsaw and, on
the other side of the coin, itbrings out the catty side of
those who revel in maliciousmudslinging or deflecting the
spotlight away from themselvesto avoid criticism.
(20:28):
At the previous companies thatI enjoyed working with and for,
gossip had a negativeconnotation.
Gossipers couldn't be trustedbecause they would as quickly
talk about you as soon as youleft the room where you were
both sitting and they were shittalking about another manager.
Remember when traditionalstereotypes suggested women
(20:51):
gossip more than men?
Well my experience, supported bymultiple, would reveal that
both sexes gossip as much as theother.
I'll repeat that Men do it asmuch as women.
And here are some more insights.
Extroverts tend to gossip morethan introverts.
(21:12):
Younger people are more likelyto engage in shit talk compared
to older adults.
That might be for two reasons.
Older people have seen thenegative effects of blaming
others for their problems.
Relationships are hard enoughto build and manage.
Now sprinkle in a little bit ofhe said, she said, and it
(21:34):
becomes that much harder torepair.
He said, she said, and itbecomes that much harder to
repair.
Also, our youth hasn't gainedthe wisdom from the experience
of witnessing what happens whengossip blows up in your face.
Despite the fact that gossipmight have a negative
connotation, it is in themainstream media.
Blake Lively is suing JustinBaldoni, her director and
(22:00):
co-star, on a recent movie.
It Ends With Us.
Justin Baldoni plays an abusiveboyfriend who Blake is now
suing for sexual harassment onthe set, in other words, being
an abusive boyfriend.
And you want to hear somethingshocking.
I knew that would get yourattention.
I'm not big on gossip, unlesswe're talking about local golf
(22:23):
course management.
Don't get me started.
So as we all breeze through theholiday, try and refrain from
whispering about Bob's weightgain, karen's excessive love of
fillers or how your boss has hisor head or their head up their
ass.
You'll thank me later.
And my last segment how do youmark your balls?
(22:53):
All right, my adolescentfriends, take it easy.
I'm not talking about genitaltattoos or piercings.
Yeah, genital tattoos orpiercings.
I mean, what series of eventshave to transpire for a man to
want a Prince Albert King'sCrown or Jacob's Ladder?
(23:14):
That's the epitome ofself-expression.
No, I'm not talking about that.
I'm talking about putting amark or design on your golf ball
to differentiate it from yourplaying partners.
Most golfers place a colored dotsomewhere on their golf ball,
at the first tee or for thosewho have a propensity to cheat
(23:39):
administered in the woods, whenyou find a lost ball that wasn't
yours, but you're claiming itbecause yours is deeper in the
woods and marking it before yourbuddies catch up to you.
It's a very clever cheat, untilyour buddies find your actual
ball, 10 feet deeper in thewoods than you were, or your
(24:00):
mini magic marker that you keepin your front right pocket
breaks and bleeds into the frontof your golf pants.
I've always derived pleasurefrom spending a little more time
putting lines, dots, concentriccircles or even small decals on
my golf balls.
The process of marking theballs to me is therapeutic, like
(24:26):
an arts and crafts kind ofproject, but even more
importantly, it's a process tobe able to identify your ball
After hitting a drive, anapproach shot to the green.
It's satisfying to walk up to aball that you suppose is yours
and look closely at it to seeyour personal mark.
(24:46):
I've heard too many stories ofcompetitive golfers where you or
your competitor hit the wrongball that had the same brand as
the other, like Titleist,taylormade, callaway, etc.
I think you get it and whoeverhit that ball has to take a
penalty stroke as a result.
(25:06):
That's why I mark my balls withthree solid lines that overlap
the model.
You know the model like Pro V1on a Title list.
That helps me align my teeshots and putts.
I also place three dots underthe number on the ball.
This way, wherever my ballcomes to rest, particularly in
(25:28):
the rough, I should be able tosee if it's my ball, because it
has those markings.
Some golfers magic marker theirinitials or a design unique to
them.
I'm too anal, retentive to makemarks that bastardize the clean
lines that the golf ballmanufacturers print on their
(25:50):
balls.
Rick Riley once wrote a bookMissing Links, a humorous
fiction about these golferscalled the Chops who played a
muni outside of Boston.
One of the characters, danny,only played golf balls with the
number eight because he feltthat the number eight was the
(26:11):
only number that was perfectlybalanced, which affects the
perfect roll of the ball on thegreens.
Look, we all have ourproclivities.
Dan Lee only played with anumber eight golf ball, and I
absolutely cannot play a ballwhere I am writing my initials
(26:33):
or writing something that isjust not in sync with the
perfect congruity of printing onthe golf ball.
So now I have my golf balls andI get to the green.
I've got three perfect linesand I have three dots under each
number.
I try to put my ball down andalign the three lines with my
(26:54):
intended path, but sometimes Ijust can't bend down long enough
, or sometimes, as I put my balldown, because of the undulation
of the greens, it continues tomove and the lines are now
offline of my path.
So then what I do is I take myball with the three dots, face
(27:14):
it away from the path so that Icould see the back of the ball
with the three dots and strokethrough it, trying to hit the
middle dot on the same plane asmy putting plane.
So, newsflash, when I'm puttinglike shit.
I do none of that, or I try todo all of that and it just
doesn't work because I lostconcentration due to my playing
(27:37):
partner swaying like it's hisfirst time public speaking and
he can't control himself.
So, however you mark your balls,make it personal and make sure
you can identify it in the roughand, as it pertains to using
your ball marks to align yourputts, well, good luck,
(27:57):
everybody's on their own.
Well, good luck, everybody's ontheir own.
You've been listening toanother episode of Tales from
the First Tee.
Happy Hanukkah, merry Christmas, happy New Year.
I'm your host, rich Easton,telling tales from beautiful
Charleston, south Carolina.
(28:19):
Talk to you soon.
you're tuned in to another episode of tales from
the first tee.
I'm rich easton telling talesfrom beautiful charleston, south
carolina.
Welcome to the 2024 year-endingreflection-pending
(00:33):
seasonal-blending,relationship-mending, holidays,
bank lending and the 129thepisode for Tales.
In this last episode of 2024,I'll reflect on when do you give
advice?
To tell the truth and nothingbut the truth.
Gossiping is a currency ordeflection.
(00:55):
Marking your balls?
Hey, take it easy.
But first a few thoughts on theeffects of the holidays and how
they've changed or remain thesame.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Down in the workshop all the elves were making toys
for the good Gentile girls andthe good Gentile boys when the
boss busted in nearly scared himhalf to death, had a rifle in
his hands and cheap whiskey onhis breath as I'm writing this
episode.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
It's somewhere between Thanksgiving and the New
Year's, right in the heart ofthe holiday season.
And I say right in the heartbecause Thanksgiving used to be
the gate to the holidays.
It was the first of threeholiday rituals that signaled
winter is coming.
But winter is coming.
We know what's coming with it.
(01:48):
We can't face it alone.
So plan your family and friendsgatherings, make reservations
or plan your meals.
Slow your business travelschedule and gather your nuts
for a long hibernation period.
Business travel schedule andgather your nuts for a long
(02:09):
hibernation period.
One noticeable change to me isthat my favorite retailers in
efforts to meet or beat lastyear's holiday sales start
merchandising holiday items wayearlier than last year.
Retailers in efforts to beatlast year have to think of a few
things what are they going tosell?
How are they going to price itand promote it?
What did competition sell lastyear?
(02:30):
What do you think they're goingto sell this year?
And the window of time ofselling those items.
Now, the what, where and whysseems to change moderately every
year.
Hot items like toys, games,tech gadgets, video games and
trendy items like remember theRazor scooters, legos, luxury
(02:51):
sneakers and electric bikes.
They come and go, but it seemslike most retailers, including
online retailers, all go to thesame trade shows and try and
sell a version of the same hotitems every holiday season.
The noticeable change to me isthe when when the retailers
(03:13):
start doing their merchandisingfor the holidays.
Now I remember the days wherethe day after Halloween signaled
Thanksgiving merchandising andtravel promos, the day after
thanksgiving signaled Christmaspromotions.
You know, interesting, I don'trecall a campaign by any
retailer to influence the eightgifts that you give during the
(03:35):
eight days of Hanukkah.
Perhaps most of those weremoney, chocolate covered by gold
, aluminum foil shaped likemoney or blatant piggybacking on
Christmas gift ideas.
Yeah, and before you blast mefor racial profiling, I
celebrated both for years.
So this comes from a place ofpersonal observation, not
(03:58):
othering.
So why am I bringing all ofthis up?
It just so happens that Iwalked into a Costco in late
August to find a display ofholiday wrapping paper, bows and
Christmas lights In August.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
It's Christmas in the summertime the sun is up and I
feel fine.
Christmas in the summertime.
The sun is up and I feel fine.
Christmas in the summertime Letthe summer shine.
It's Christmas in thesummertime, the sun is up and I
feel fine.
Christmas in the summertime.
Let the summer shine.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Man, I swear.
It was a 90 degree day inCharleston with 30% humidity and
I had just sighed with reliefto feel this cool air
conditioning.
When I walked into the Costcowarehouse and came upon the
holiday decoration end cap, itjust didn't feel right thinking
(05:00):
about Christmas in the middle ofAugust.
You know, some people say weshould think about the feelings
associated with the holidays allyear round.
Look, when I was growing up,that was reserved for the
village idiot.
Look, I agree with thesentiments of being kind and
(05:30):
treating others with empathy andcompassion year-round.
I mean, isn't that whatSaturday and Sunday services are
all about?
That being said, I find itoff-brand and certainly
off-season.
Pushing a December experiencein August.
It would be tantamount toselling surfboards and bikinis
(05:52):
in Buffalo between snowstorms.
All I'm saying is, if retailershave a surplus of last year's
holiday items in shippingcontainers or warehouses,
promote them online and promotethem with a drop-down menu on
your website and keep them outof the brick and mortar stores
(06:14):
until you've sold the currentholiday items for the current
holiday.
When it's summertime, wow mewith items that I could use or
gift today.
Please don't tempt me to buyand hoard things for four months
out of fear of missing out onyour high-value items that might
(06:35):
not be there during theholidays.
Look, if you're like me, Amazondelivery people are familiar
with my front steps more than myfriends and family.
Anyway, back to my thoughts onthe holidays.
The holidays, to me, are a timeof hope and high expectations.
(06:55):
Hope that some things getbetter.
Hope that certain relationshipsmend.
Hope that certain relationshipsend.
Hope that health is bestowedupon you and your loved one.
Hope that you break bread withthose who you share values with
and hope that you could findcommon ground with those you
(07:17):
don't.
Hope that your dog doesn't chewup your third Roku remote
controller when you leave foralone too long.
And hope that those you carefor and love love you back.
High expectations that theeconomy improves.
High expectations that the newboss is better than the old boss
(07:38):
.
High expectations that ifyou're a kid, you get that one
item on Santa's list that is farbeyond your parents' means.
High expectations that whateveradult hobby you have, whatever
(08:09):
game you have pickleball, golf,tennis gets better or you're not
picked last for adult soccer orhockey leagues.
High expectations that whateveryou cooked, roasted or baked
makes your guests happy anddoesn't send anybody racing to
(08:29):
the bathroom or the emergencyroom and high expectations that
whatever New Year's resolutionyou made this year sticks longer
than a test spaghetti noodle onthe wall.
And lastly, I toast all of youwho are interested enough to
listen to my holiday episodefrom all over the globe.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Biba Jai Viva.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Pervisex.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
Scholl Narok Slonček Na zdrovie.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Salut federal prison or his infamous crime.
Hey, little friend, now don'tyou cry, no more tears.
He'll be out with good behaviorin 700 more years.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
When is it okay to give advice?
Yeah, I don't think there is acookie cutter pat answer to that
(10:01):
question.
I think everything issituational.
Years ago, when I was asked tomanage teams during my heyday in
corporate america, I foundmyself thrust into a role that
required ad hoc coaching andcounseling, sometimes at a
sequence from the annualperformance appraisal time
period.
So if any one of my team oradjacent team members behaved in
(10:21):
a way that required immediatefeedback, I chose to resolve the
incident with question andanswer sessions that led me to
the cause and effect of whathappened.
And where do we go from here?
Typically, where to go next waswrapped in advice on what to do
more of, less of or clearlydifferently.
(10:44):
That got you in that situation.
My brother, a long-termpracticing shrink, would tell me
how he wasn't concerned withthe reasons why his patients did
something that ended in aharmful result.
He would just tell them hey,stop doing it.
Good advice, right.
(11:05):
Sometimes I didn't have theluxury to cut that close to the
bone.
His patients were coming to himto lessen their pain, so doing
less of something that washurting them or others around
them was simple yet effectiveadvice.
I mean mostly there wereblatant behaviors that didn't
(11:29):
need to be addressed by HR butthat could be corrected with a
simple sentence like hey, stopgossiping, please put your
phones down when the boss istalking to us and, guys, stop
putting strip clubs on yourexpense account.
The guys in accounting don'thave a sense of humor.
(11:50):
I mean, most of the time myadvice was offered as the result
of a failed strategy or tacticsthat resulted in bad outcomes.
That was my role and I wasselected to do it because I had
made some decisions in the pastthat yielded good outcomes and
was able to sweep the bad onesunder the rug.
(12:13):
When I was a parent of youngchildren, I didn't have to give
advice as much as cleardirections Clean up your room,
do your chores, stop hittingyour sister.
When our kids get into theirteens or later.
When our kids get into theirteens or later, we become young
adult consultants.
(12:33):
We're no longer directors.
It happens over a long courseof time and is clearly a result
of how quickly our kids mature.
Now I am a full-time familyconsultant and I only offer
advice when I'm asked or I sensethat a loved one's issues are a
(12:55):
result of self-interference, inother words, they can't get out
of their own way.
Someone once told me don't everoffer advice unless you're
asked, and I would argue thateven when asked, there are times
to hold your tongue.
We've probably all had a friendthat was dating or married to a
(13:18):
classic jerk Usually only badthings to say about other people
Can't have conversations aboutpolitics without calling the
person with a different point ofview a total idiot or roll
their eyes every time theirsignificant other spoke.
So I had a friend just likethat.
(13:42):
They broke up after a night ofdrinking and verbal abuse and it
was obvious that my friend wasstill reeling from the breakup
and asked me my advice on whatto do and how I felt about her
partner.
As soon as she asked me that Iwas looking for a window to jump
through.
(14:03):
This can be a no-win situationif not handled right.
I didn't want to blow smoke upher ass but at the same time
didn't want to play my hand andbecome another one of her
friends.
That warned her about this guy.
If you do a 360 on anyone,there's a general consensus on
(14:23):
how that person treats others,so I didn't need to pile on.
So I just said let time softenthe edges of the breakup and
about the time that I said that,thank God, another person
entered the room, said hi and Idid my famous Irish goodbye.
(14:46):
I couldn't moonwalk out ofthere and, as I see it, if they
end up getting back together,I'm in the clear.
And, of course, in my podcast Ican't go without drawing up a
(15:09):
metaphor or simile to golf.
On the golf course it's commonthat you or your buddies are
going to have a few bad swings,bad holes or even bad rounds.
During the self-destruction youmight notice something that's
causing your buddy's demise.
Whatever you notice, it'scounterproductive to offer
(15:32):
unsolicited advice.
Nobody wants to be coached byanother hacker, particularly
when you're in the middle of aslump.
You want to find it yourself.
It'll make you a betterself-problem solver on the
course, because when things gosouth and you're playing, you
(15:52):
can't just walk off the course,go to the driving range, hit a
bucket of balls until you findyour swing again.
When things get so bad and yourfriend says what the heck am I
doing wrong?
He or she seemingly is nowasking for your advice and,
(16:13):
unless you're a PGA pro, havegiven countless lessons and have
made specific corrections to asimilar type swing flaw, I would
wait until the end of the roundand suggest a pro that can help
them.
The best answer is I don't know.
(16:33):
But I got a guy and here's why,if you suggest a particular
swing change on what to dodifferently, and it doesn't
improve his or her game on thenext shot, guess who the problem
is?
Now you got it.
It's you Gossip.
(17:08):
Is it currency or deflection?
Tis the season to get togetherwith friends, family and
workmates.
A time to bond, a time toreflect with others on the good
(17:33):
old days and a time to talk shitabout anybody who wasn't
invited or chose not to attendthe gathering.
I'm talking gossip.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
I'm calling to tell you the part of my day where I
told your friend what you toldme not to say.
I'm sorry I said it.
I should have kept quiet.
If my mouth was on sale, nobodywould buy it.
You're messy just like yourbestie.
You gossip so much that youlack tons of breastie.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Those of us who engage in idle chatter,
conversation about others'private affairs, things you
rarely say to those you'retalking about directly to their
face, some gossipers see it as achance to build and strengthen
(18:19):
relationships with those whochoose to engage in gossip with
them.
Gossip adds excitement and dramato life.
I've got a good buddy who'sbeen reading Us magazine since
he used to spend hours inairports and in the air.
I mean, how many times can youread American Way in-flight
magazine and look through theSkyMall magazine for the
(18:41):
ultimate gift that says I haveno problem overspending on
gadgets and gifts, because Ialmost forgot about our
anniversary again.
Hey, even though my buddyslowed his roll accumulating
SkyMiles, he still runs to themailbox on Monday mornings, rips
through his weekly subscriptionto get updates on the weekly
(19:02):
celebrity crushes and thisweek's celebrity breakup.
And at first I was like, whatare you reading?
And then I picked up one of hismagazines, started reading
through it and I'm like, hey,this is fun stuff.
Gossip magazines and tabloidmagazines, a multi-billion
(19:23):
dollar industry while decliningin distribution, are being
replaced by TMZ and social mediaplatforms like X, instagram and
, for all us boomers, facebookand Facebook neighborhoods where
every Karen can voice theirdissatisfaction with those crazy
(19:44):
kids riding their e-bikes andscooters way too fast in the
neighborhood.
And as we evolve as a race,gossip continues to keep pace
and sometimes leads theinformation race.
As an informal communicationvessel, gossip serves as a
valuable purpose.
It lets everybody else knowwhen somebody's being a total
(20:05):
douche, to protect them frombeing a future victim of
doucheism.
It can also help us fromwalking into a buzzsaw and, on
the other side of the coin, itbrings out the catty side of
those who revel in maliciousmudslinging or deflecting the
spotlight away from themselvesto avoid criticism.
(20:28):
At the previous companies thatI enjoyed working with and for,
gossip had a negativeconnotation.
Gossipers couldn't be trustedbecause they would as quickly
talk about you as soon as youleft the room where you were
both sitting and they were shittalking about another manager.
Remember when traditionalstereotypes suggested women
(20:51):
gossip more than men?
Well my experience, supported bymultiple, would reveal that
both sexes gossip as much as theother.
I'll repeat that Men do it asmuch as women.
And here are some more insights.
Extroverts tend to gossip morethan introverts.
(21:12):
Younger people are more likelyto engage in shit talk compared
to older adults.
That might be for two reasons.
Older people have seen thenegative effects of blaming
others for their problems.
Relationships are hard enoughto build and manage.
Now sprinkle in a little bit ofhe said, she said, and it
(21:34):
becomes that much harder torepair.
He said, she said, and itbecomes that much harder to
repair.
Also, our youth hasn't gainedthe wisdom from the experience
of witnessing what happens whengossip blows up in your face.
Despite the fact that gossipmight have a negative
connotation, it is in themainstream media.
Blake Lively is suing JustinBaldoni, her director and
(22:00):
co-star, on a recent movie.
It Ends With Us.
Justin Baldoni plays an abusiveboyfriend who Blake is now
suing for sexual harassment onthe set, in other words, being
an abusive boyfriend.
And you want to hear somethingshocking.
I knew that would get yourattention.
I'm not big on gossip, unlesswe're talking about local golf
(22:23):
course management.
Don't get me started.
So as we all breeze through theholiday, try and refrain from
whispering about Bob's weightgain, karen's excessive love of
fillers or how your boss has hisor head or their head up their
ass.
You'll thank me later.
And my last segment how do youmark your balls?
(22:53):
All right, my adolescentfriends, take it easy.
I'm not talking about genitaltattoos or piercings.
Yeah, genital tattoos orpiercings.
I mean, what series of eventshave to transpire for a man to
want a Prince Albert King'sCrown or Jacob's Ladder?
(23:14):
That's the epitome ofself-expression.
No, I'm not talking about that.
I'm talking about putting amark or design on your golf ball
to differentiate it from yourplaying partners.
Most golfers place a colored dotsomewhere on their golf ball,
at the first tee or for thosewho have a propensity to cheat
(23:39):
administered in the woods, whenyou find a lost ball that wasn't
yours, but you're claiming itbecause yours is deeper in the
woods and marking it before yourbuddies catch up to you.
It's a very clever cheat, untilyour buddies find your actual
ball, 10 feet deeper in thewoods than you were, or your
(24:00):
mini magic marker that you keepin your front right pocket
breaks and bleeds into the frontof your golf pants.
I've always derived pleasurefrom spending a little more time
putting lines, dots, concentriccircles or even small decals on
my golf balls.
The process of marking theballs to me is therapeutic, like
(24:26):
an arts and crafts kind ofproject, but even more
importantly, it's a process tobe able to identify your ball
After hitting a drive, anapproach shot to the green.
It's satisfying to walk up to aball that you suppose is yours
and look closely at it to seeyour personal mark.
(24:46):
I've heard too many stories ofcompetitive golfers where you or
your competitor hit the wrongball that had the same brand as
the other, like Titleist,taylormade, callaway, etc.
I think you get it and whoeverhit that ball has to take a
penalty stroke as a result.
(25:06):
That's why I mark my balls withthree solid lines that overlap
the model.
You know the model like Pro V1on a Title list.
That helps me align my teeshots and putts.
I also place three dots underthe number on the ball.
This way, wherever my ballcomes to rest, particularly in
(25:28):
the rough, I should be able tosee if it's my ball, because it
has those markings.
Some golfers magic marker theirinitials or a design unique to
them.
I'm too anal, retentive to makemarks that bastardize the clean
lines that the golf ballmanufacturers print on their
(25:50):
balls.
Rick Riley once wrote a bookMissing Links, a humorous
fiction about these golferscalled the Chops who played a
muni outside of Boston.
One of the characters, danny,only played golf balls with the
number eight because he feltthat the number eight was the
(26:11):
only number that was perfectlybalanced, which affects the
perfect roll of the ball on thegreens.
Look, we all have ourproclivities.
Dan Lee only played with anumber eight golf ball, and I
absolutely cannot play a ballwhere I am writing my initials
(26:33):
or writing something that isjust not in sync with the
perfect congruity of printing onthe golf ball.
So now I have my golf balls andI get to the green.
I've got three perfect linesand I have three dots under each
number.
I try to put my ball down andalign the three lines with my
(26:54):
intended path, but sometimes Ijust can't bend down long enough
, or sometimes, as I put my balldown, because of the undulation
of the greens, it continues tomove and the lines are now
offline of my path.
So then what I do is I take myball with the three dots, face
(27:14):
it away from the path so that Icould see the back of the ball
with the three dots and strokethrough it, trying to hit the
middle dot on the same plane asmy putting plane.
So, newsflash, when I'm puttinglike shit.
I do none of that, or I try todo all of that and it just
doesn't work because I lostconcentration due to my playing
(27:37):
partner swaying like it's hisfirst time public speaking and
he can't control himself.
So, however you mark your balls,make it personal and make sure
you can identify it in the roughand, as it pertains to using
your ball marks to align yourputts, well, good luck,
(27:57):
everybody's on their own.
Well, good luck, everybody's ontheir own.
You've been listening toanother episode of Tales from
the First Tee.
Happy Hanukkah, merry Christmas, happy New Year.
I'm your host, rich Easton,telling tales from beautiful
Charleston, south Carolina.
(28:19):
Talk to you soon.
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