July 1, 2025 • 35 mins
Rich Easton explores how we navigate challenging conversations during holiday gatherings and why we fight with people we know over politicians who don't know we exist. He shares the hilarious saga of "Wi-Fi" and "Kris Kringle," two golf buddies whose friendly football bet led to an unexpected satchel curse, and examines our society's tendency toward being easily offended.
• Holiday travel and consuming 32 hours of podcast content featuring advice on avoiding contentious family arguments
• Storytelling contributed to human cooperation according to Yuval Noah Harari's "Sapiens"
• Fighting with people we know on behalf of politicians who have no idea we exist
• The saga of Wi-Fi and Kris Kringle's football bet that led to a cursed golf satchel
• Society's increasing tendency to take offense and use "shaming" terms
• America's obesity epidemic and our sensitivity about discussing it
• Golf as a mental game requiring consistent pre-shot routines
• The two entities in our heads when playing golf - feeling vs. technical knowledge
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
you're tuned into another episode of tales from
the first tee.
I'm rich easton telling talesfrom beautiful charleston, south
carolina.
In this episode I'll talk aboutWi-Fi and Kris Kringle the
(00:37):
schizophrenia of golf.
Are we over-offended?
And first, a segment I'll calladmonishment or foreshadowing.
If you're like me, you've heardall these pre-Thanksgiving
(01:03):
alerts from the media to betterenjoy family gatherings in these
incendiary, politically biasedtimes.
I mean, are these alertsadmonishment or foreshadowing?
So during the holidays Itraveled over 2,000 miles with
my canine companion, sammy,thanks to the magic of streaming
.
While driving I listen to myfavorite podcasts with Trevor
(01:25):
Noah, joe Rogan, mike Rowe, billMaher, adam Carolla, jon
Stewart, malcolm Gladwell and,for a fix of dumb yet genius
comedy, theo Vaughn.
Four to five hours of streamingpodcasts.
(01:47):
I have to switch to terrestrialradio to listen to sports talk
or NPR to remind me why I neverpursued a life as a professor.
That's 32 hours behind thewindshield over eight days
filling my brain with insights,facts, hyperbole, and I might
cast a white net.
One theme that seemed to beprevalent during the trip was
(02:08):
this psycho babble about how toavoid contentious arguments that
could lead up to words andactions that can't be taken back
.
What have we become where weneed to be advised on how to act
around our friends and family.
So I've been reading this bookSapiens by Yuval Noah it was
(02:43):
highly recommended by myfree-spirited son about human
evolution from pre-stone age tothe present.
One of his theories is that theact of storytelling helped
advance our race fromNeanderthal to Homo sapien.
Storytelling contributed tohuman cooperation, cooperation
(03:04):
and teamwork helped our raceevolve.
To underscore this point, we'vecreated children's books to
emphasize cooperation, bookslike the Enormous Potato Sloth
and a Squirrel in a Pickle, whenPencil Met a Racer and the
Biggest Snowman Ever when pencilmet eraser and the biggest
(03:28):
snowman ever.
So I ask myself what series ofevents provokes an author to
plunge themselves into spendingweeks, months and years
searching for the right proverbs, aphorisms and lessons to guide
our youth into kind,cooperative team players.
Well, age and life experiencehas a prejudicial effect on how
(03:52):
we see others, particularlyothers not like us, particularly
people who vote for the otherside of the aisle.
What gets me when we argueabout politics is we're fighting
with people we know on behalfof those who have no idea we
(04:12):
exist.
We are fighting with people weknow on behalf of politicians
that have no idea we exist.
They're driven by votes to keepthem in control of things that
keep their lobbyists content.
Yet we walk our swords into theocean to defend political
(04:35):
stances that are as sturdy as aJenga stack, and we do this by
raising our voices, peacocking.
And we do this by raising ourvoices, peacocking and berating
our friends and family,believing in the other guy's
party.
So if we were all to have readthe same children's books or
(04:57):
were lucky enough to read themto our children or grandchildren
, you might imagine that we hadshared values about cooperation,
kindness and honesty.
Maybe we're just writing andreading children's books as
adults because we're actuallyaware of how the human race is
prone to go all lord of theflies on each other when we're
(05:21):
unchecked, or because perhaps wecan influence the next
generation to improve or atleast convince a few to treat
others the way we want to betreated, and hope that it
spreads.
So, getting back to theforeshadowing of a contentious
Thanksgiving party, do adults in2024 really need to be coddled
(05:43):
and coached on how to talk totheir friends and family over
the holidays?
I guess maybe some do, but I'mguessing that media executives
hammered that point down totheir talking heads to come off
as the smartest, wokest and mostevolved network in the room.
(06:08):
My advice is to know youraudience.
If the hosts bake the bread androasted or smoked the turkey
and you don't agree with theirpolitics, shut the fuck up, pass
the dinner rolls and talk aboutsomething everybody can agree
(06:28):
with.
This year, like Deshaun Watson,is overpaid and overrated sorry
Browns fans, but you know ittoo and 66 massage therapists
can't all be wrong.
(06:51):
Wi-fi and Kris Kringle this isas true as a story ever gets.
No, this is not a story abouthow I fixed the router enabling
a strong Wi-Fi signal and savedChristmas for the family.
(07:13):
Instead, it's a story withplenty of low purply.
To make it interesting, wi-fiis a nickname I gave one of my
golf goombas who caught on fireone morning and put together a
slew of birdies to win the bet.
His story was featured in anepisode in May 2022 called Wi-Fi
(07:38):
the Birdie Machine.
Let me give you a littlebackstory.
Wi-fi is a character who beatsto his own drum.
Nonconformist would be anunderstatement To him.
Stupid rules are for suckers.
Hypocrites who try to enforcethe same rules they break are
his nemesis, but oddly enough,he's governed by the rules of
(07:59):
golf, with the exceptional gimmehere and there, and there and
there he hunkers for a good betas long as the handicaps are
fair and when I say fair I meanthey're even or perhaps tip in
his favor.
But what golfer doesn't want thesame self-tipping scales?
(08:21):
Nothing worse than agreeing toa golf bet with a stranger or
another golfer that says I don'thave a handicap but I usually
shoot Fill in the blank.
Those are the guys you have tobe cautious of.
Now.
It's possible they don't playenough or don't want to spend
(08:42):
the $40 annually to participatein the GIN handicap system, or
they're just so inconsistentthey could only cite the score
from their last round if theycould remember it.
I'd venture to guess that mostof the I don't have a
handicappers are those kind ofpeople.
Now, sometimes they purposelydon't keep a handicap, so they
(09:06):
miraculously play their supposedbest year of the round ever
when they play against you.
Everybody has a good day on thecourse every once in a while.
Hey, it bothers me as well whenthose I'm betting against have
their best day ever.
I must bring out the best ingolfers, because the story I
(09:28):
told about Wi-Fi, when he had ahat trick of birdies to complete
the round and won the cash.
It was one of Wi-Fi's bestrounds.
And look, I'm always glad tosee a friend play well, full
disclosure.
Usually I'm happiest when theirgood round is one stroke above
(09:49):
mine.
So a few years back, wi-fi getsmatched up with another local
golfer, also in search of abetter game, and not adverse to
a little lunch money on the line.
I happen to have started thisguy and played with him in the
Saturday morning game on ourlocal course and put him in the
(10:12):
category of one of the good guys.
One of the good guys easydisposition, eager to play his
best, aware of his golfshortcomings, but doesn't bark
or complain about any unintendedconsequences from an imperfect
setup or swing.
He just laughs and goes on tothe next shot.
I'm going to call this guyChris Kringle because it seems
(10:36):
like all the times I see him onthe course he only works one day
a year and has a jolly attitude.
The two couldn't be more polaropposites.
That's why I shook my head whenI saw that they had become golf
buddies.
Let's play a game, all right,on the count of three, name your
(10:57):
favorite dinosaur.
Don't even think about it, justname it Ready.
One, two, three.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Velociraptor.
What Did we just become bestfriends?
Yep.
Do you want to go do karate inthe garage?
Yep.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
What Wi-Fi and Kringle have in common is their
love of the game, penchant forplaying hooky and full knowledge
.
When either of them text theother one about playing golf
with as little as 30-minute leadtime, the answer is always a
conditional yes, conditioned onthe fact that their exit
(11:34):
strategy from their homes orlocal offices has to be executed
flawlessly, without blowbackfrom their bosses or wives.
That makes for creativestorytelling or just stealth
avoidance.
This tells you a little bitsomething about the Butch and
Sundance partnership they have.
(11:54):
Well, it's impossible at thispoint to make a long story short
, but here's where it getsinteresting.
In the beginning of the NFLfootball season.
Wi-fi, an avid CarolinaPanthers fan.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Betts.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Kringle, a diehard New England Patriots fan, that
his team would win more gamesthan the Pats.
His team would win more gamesthan the Pats.
The bet was a moderate amountof coin and understand.
This was really not a bet aboutwhich team was the best.
They both had horrible starts.
For example, after the firstseven games of the season both
(12:32):
teams were 1-6.
Somewhere really early in theseason maybe it's when the
Panthers were 0-2 and the Patshad won at least one game Wi-Fi
couldn't stand the bet that hehad made.
He couldn't stand watching histeam flounder after betting
Kringle that the Panthers had achance to be good this year.
(12:54):
So somewhere in the beginningof the season, let's say after
game two, wi-fi, while pullingup to the first tee for another
golf match with Kringle,exclaims the bet's off, I want
out.
I can't stand it anymore.
Mind you, they're in thebeginning of the season.
(13:14):
This is not mid-season or lateseason.
It's the second game of theseason.
Kringle is laughing.
He won't accept the white flag.
Come on, man, the season juststarted.
We have to let it play out.
I'm not much of a Panthers fanso I didn't catch any of their
(13:35):
games.
I'm guessing from Wi-Fi'sdisappointment there weren't
many highlights on Red Zone,where I tend to park myself on
Sundays.
So their tee time was beingcalled and they had to move to
the tee box and start thinkingabout the golf bet.
With the feeling of the worldon his shoulders, wi-fi pulled
(13:59):
out his betting money satchelthat he keeps in his golf bag
and said take it, take thesatchel and everything in it.
No more, no, not tonight.
(14:26):
Pay him, pay that man his money.
Kringle laughed and said no way, a bet's a bet.
Wi-fi threw the satchel at him.
When Kringle looked inside andsaw there was more cash than was
wagered on their football bet,he finally agreed to end Wi-Fi's
suffering.
And the funny thing about thesatchel is that every time Wi-Fi
(14:48):
wins a golf bet, he pulls thesatchel out of the bag and says
a line that you'll never forget.
Feed me, seymour, feed me allnight, me, I mean he must have
(15:11):
been so distraught with thePanthers to let the satchel go.
But the story doesn't end here.
Kringle, executing one of thebest in-your-face moves,
declares that he's going tocarry the satchel on every
business and personal trip, likethe Stanley Cup, and text pics
(15:34):
of the satchel to Wi-Fi indifferent places around the
globe, like Flat Stanley.
So he does that in a few cities.
I think he took his girls toParis to see Taylor Swift
because the tickets in Pariswere cheaper and more accessible
than in the United States.
(15:54):
The satchel made it to Paris,but security was so tight it
never got to see the heiresstour.
It did, however, make its wayaround Europe and, truth be told
, I think Kringle's girls snuckbottles of wine back to their
room in the satchel.
It was having a far moreexciting life than sitting at
(16:17):
the bottom of Wi-Fi's golf bag.
When Kringle returned to theStates, he put the satchel in
his golf bag and has lost justabout every match against Wi-Fi
since he accepted the forfeitureof the football bet.
Actually, not just some matches, every match.
(16:38):
He's now convinced he's cursedlike the Curse of the Bambino,
the Sultan of Swat, the King ofCrash, the Colossus of Clout,
the Colossus of Clout, the GreatBambino.
So how do you break out of thiscurse?
(16:58):
Well, kringle's tried lessons.
He's gone to the range in theshort game hitting area the day
before his matches with Wi-Fi Ihappened to be practicing
putting and saw Kringle hard atwork trying to find what was
lost over the past severalmonths.
I played with the two of themlast week just to witness from
(17:20):
my own eyes what Kringle wastalking about.
And you know what?
I really couldn't tell thatKringle was losing the match.
He never complained, nevercursed, never threw a club or
whined about any of his shots orputts.
But as we putted out on thelast hole, kringle just said
under his breath putts.
(17:40):
But as we putted out on thelast hole, kringle just said
under his breath lost again.
If Wi-Fi's game was also tanking, I would say the satchel
exchange was like the gift tothe Magi.
But Wi-Fi's handicap isdropping like a mic on 8 Mile
and he's playing his best golf.
The funny thing is the Panthersand the Patriots are still both
(18:14):
tied at three wins and tenlosses, and Wi-Fi's out of one
satchel and Kringle is out ofone good golf game.
Go figure.
Do you think we as a societyare way over offended?
I'm offended because you're gay.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
I'm offended by Chick-fil-A.
I'm offended by your Starbuckscups.
I'm offended by the DonaldTrump.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
You have an opinion that's different than mine, so
now I gotta scream at why.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Cause I'm offended by everything.
Cause I'm offended byeverything, come on out.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Is it me or are more people prone to taking offense
and telling everybody about it?
The term shaming has become thenew arsenal for the
underappreciated Social mediashaming, gay shaming, lgbtq
shaming, shaming for forgettingthere are more letters after
(19:15):
LGBTQ, fat shaming, slut shamingIs there such thing as fat slut
shaming?
Okay, now I've offended aperson with an overactive
appetite and libido.
Whenever something that's beenaround for a while becomes
popularized or condemned, Ialways try to look back and ask
(19:35):
what could have happened to makethis battle cry so top of mind.
The Me Too movement becamefront and center when Harvey
Weinstein's accusers cameforward, starting an avalanche
of similar sexual power plays inall industries.
The Black Lives Matter movementsurfaced in response to the
(19:56):
acquittal of George Zimmermanwho fatally shot Trayvon Martin.
So what started the?
I'm offended by that movement.
I don't think there's onetrigger event for the
over-offended.
I think it's been a slow traindriven by taming
microaggressions in the schoolsand workplace.
(20:17):
Political correctness in theworkplace.
Once I left college,universities began implementing
speech codes to foster toleranceby limiting offensive speech,
and I swear I had nothing to dowith it.
The timing is just coincidence.
Over time, this movementexpanded beyond campuses,
(20:38):
influencing public discourse andgave the media a needed breath
of fresh air and a battle flagto shame offenders.
Fat shaming came from left fieldand was born out of our own
collective weight changes overthe past 50 years.
You might want to be sittingdown for these factoids,
(21:00):
particularly if you'reoverweight.
Over the past 50 years, theaverage American men's weight
rose from 166 pounds to 200pounds, or a 20% increase, and
women's average weight went from140 pounds to 177 pounds.
That's a 37 pound increase, or26% gain in weight.
(21:25):
And you wonder why the pornindustry is booming.
You see Fat shaming, anxiety,shaming and patriarchy flexing
all in one observation.
Shame on me.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame on you.
Shame, shame, shame, shame on Q.
This was serious, but it turnedinto something fun.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Hey, let's face it, the facts are the facts.
We are all getting bigger as asociety.
I just saw a side-by-side snapof World Series crowds from 1970
compared to one from recenttimes.
The conclusion we arenoticeably bigger.
(22:17):
And when I say bigger, I meanovernourished.
And when I say overnourished Imean the big O, not the one you
hope for on your birthday.
I mean the big O for obese.
Hope for on your birthday, Imean the big O for obese.
(22:37):
Hey, let's see what levers RFKJr can pull to improve the
long-term quality of our foodand water.
I think this is where hope is astrategy.
Is our obesity the unintendedconsequences of a well-fed
country?
Is this what China and Indiaare going to look like in the
future?
Is our obesity the effect ofmultinational food companies
(23:00):
delivering low to no nutritionfoods at far lower prices than
higher nutrition foods?
Junk food is inexpensivecompared to healthier
alternatives.
Their availability isubiquitous.
The changes in what we eat andhow much we eat have had the
(23:21):
biggest changes in our weight asa nation.
So we're fatter because of whatwe eat.
And couple that with a moresedentary lifestyle, starting in
our Wonder Bread years, and webecome a bigger than life poster
of ourselves.
Fat shaming is an insensitiveobservation, particularly when
(23:45):
it's delivered as a weapon tohurt someone.
That being said, if we as anation continue to move less and
eat more, we shouldn't beoffended when it's brought to
our attention.
I'm not going to tell someone.
I'm offended when a loved oneor a friend suggests I eat less
white things and eat more greenthings.
(24:07):
Guilty as charged.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
All right, listen up everybody.
I have something to tell you.
I'm not quite sure how to saythis.
I'm fat.
Let me give you a minute toabsorb that.
That's the way it is.
It's nobody's fault, Meg, butI've decided to do something
about it.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
I'll finish with the last segment, back in the realm
of golfing.
If you're not a golf fan ordon't like listening to golf,
this is where I bid you adieuand I'll speak to you again soon
.
So I call this segment theSchizophrenia of Golf.
When you think about it, golfis a very mental game.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
In fact, I once heard it said that golf is 80% mental
and 20% mental.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
In other words, it's a mental game offers 80% mental
and 20% mental.
In other words, it's a mentalgame.
I've talked about this subjectin the past as I've struggled at
times executing shots that I'vemade before, both on the course
and at the practice area,probably because it's a mental
game.
Every pro I've ever worked withand most every golf video,
youtube, tiktok and the golfchannel suggest a repeatable
(25:26):
pre-shot routine to help getyour mind and body in sync.
For me, walking to my ball,gripping the club and just
taking a hard whack at the ballwithin a few seconds has little
chance of success without apre-shot routine.
I have to first check the lieof the ball to see if it's
(25:46):
encumbered by heavy, roughdivots, sand impediments or
heavy roots.
A simple foot wedge helps tocure most of those detractors,
but it's heavily frowned upon ifmoney or official scoring is at
stake.
Then I look at the target tosee if there are any branches or
hazards between me and where Iwant to land the ball.
(26:08):
Then I feel the wind to see ifit's going to have its way with
my ball when it's in flight.
I pick the club that has thebest chance of getting my ball
to the promised land.
Grip the club take a stancethat allows me to swing freely
and look at the target and thenthink of three things when I
begin my swing and those threethings are personal to me and
(26:30):
reflect certain checkpoints thatmy body needs to execute to
have the best chance ofexecution.
But it's a mental game.
Anytime I cut short any of thosepre-shot thoughts, I'm usually
faced with the consequences of abad swing.
I play with some golfers, goodand bad, that walk up to their
(26:51):
ball with the club that theythink will get them there and
just hit it without what seemsto be any pre-shot routine.
I'd love to be able to do thatif not for the impending hooks,
slices, top shots or horriblymisguided putts.
Now, don't get me wrong, I dosome of those things, or all of
(27:13):
those shitty swings in spite ofmy pre-shot routine.
However, I can trace backpretty much every crappy swing
to forgetting at least one ofthe checkpoints for that swing.
That's usually when you'll seeme talk to myself about how
disappointed I am with myshort-term forgetfulness,
(27:35):
because it's a mental game whenI'm practicing at the range or
playing solo.
I've tried the accelerated, nopre-shot routine exercise with
less than stellar results.
I know it speeds things up andwould make me a faster player.
But then I always think of thewords that Dr Banner says right
(27:57):
before he turns into theIncredible Hulk.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
We now return to Jeremy Piven as the Incredible
Hulk.
You wouldn't like me when I'mangry.
I don't like you now.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
As I do a community diagnosis of everybody's
pre-shot routine and swing, Irealize that everybody's brain
works differently and mosteverybody's tendencies vary
depending on their age, bodytype, physical limitations and,
most evidently, not everybodyneeds the same amount of
information in their lives.
(28:30):
People have capacity fordifferent information, both in
quality and quantity.
Not everybody wants to knoweverything about everything.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Jerry, do you know?
The human head weighs eightpounds.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
I always protest that I have the greatest memory.
It's my recall that sucks andnewsflash.
As we age, our recall doesn'timprove.
We might remember a time 50years ago when our older brother
allowed a girl to blindfold himand walk him directly into the
side of a building, chipping histooth, but can't remember the
(29:07):
name of that Netflix series thatwe've been watching for the
last week or was it Hulu?
It's a shame, because the morewe experience life, the more we
etch into our memory banks.
It's the limited withdrawalsthat cause the frustration.
So how does that relate to golf, you might ask?
The longer we've played golf,the more we've learned about our
(29:33):
game and managing risk to avoidbig numbers.
Every day I play and practice, Ilearn more about my personal
tendencies, some which havehelped me in other sports, but
not in golf.
I know that I tend to line upirons in woods with a closed
stance, causing me to hit theball right to left.
(29:53):
Trying to correct thatmid-round causes more problems
than it solves.
I was playing team golf withthis character I'll just call
Swing Leg, who had me visualizethe course like a three-lane
road.
He always had me pick a targetthat was on the right lane,
knowing that my ball would endup far on the left lane, which
(30:16):
is where the pin was.
I'm like that's pretty good,swing Leg.
It worked for a while and Iknow that I set up with an open
stance when I putt and slightlycut the ball.
Swing Leg had a solution forthat as well.
Apparently he's a student ofthe game as well and observes
his playing partners as much ashe focuses on his own game.
(30:39):
Good team captain.
I know that I have a tendencyto under club in the beginning
and the end of a round when I'mstiff or tired.
Now, swing leg didn't have afix for that because he didn't
look at my bag and see whatclubs I was hitting.
I have a feeling if we playedmore together, he'd figure out
the fix for that as well.
(31:01):
I know this one thing aboutmyself Overall I know that when
I try to rely on muscle memoryalone and not go through my
thought sequence, I start aninternal, sometimes external,
dialogue with myself.
See, I think we have twoentities in our heads when we
play golf.
Now just hear me out on thisbefore you call the psych ward.
(31:23):
One entity feels the shots andjust knows how far back to take
the club, how fast to swing andhow it feels when you make
center face contact with theball.
A pro once told me when you hitit pure, it feels like stale
marshmallows, others tell meit's like butter stale
(31:48):
marshmallows, others tell meit's like butter.
So one entity feels that theother entity holds all the
information about what needs tohappen, mentally and physically,
from the time I approach theball until I release the shot
from the club and hold my followthrough.
When they're out of sync, badshit happens and we start to
talk to ourselves.
I know I talk to myself.
(32:10):
I was practicing the other nightand saw a golf acquaintance
that I played with once but knewhim through others I frequently
play with and let's call himDurf.
Durf didn't see me at first andwas working on his putting game
.
He kept missing short putts andstarted blurting out sounds of
disappointment.
Come on, geez, no Understand.
(32:35):
He's practicing alone and ishaving a dialogue with himself
about how disappointed he wasfrom missing such an easy putt.
And they didn't count.
He even said come on, durf.
His name's not Durf, but youget it.
So I piped up and said hey,durf, who are you talking to?
(32:55):
He said what I said, you'retalking to somebody every time
you miss a putt.
I just wanted to know if it'sthe same guy I talk to when I
screw up a shot.
Durf is like most of us.
You take time to practice andwant to show improvement.
That's why you're doing it.
Otherwise you'd be home withyour wife talking about whose
(33:18):
turn it was to empty thedishwasher.
All right, so let me land thisplane.
As Mike Rowe always says, whenI line up a shot or a putt and
hit it exactly where I aimed andfind out that I miscalculated
the distance or direction aftermaking great contact, I always
fire my internal caddy.
(33:39):
That's the voice in my headthat convinces me that the putt
breaks to the right when itactually breaks to the left.
I'm like the Justin Thomas ofinternal caddy firers.
It helps me from becomingapoplectic after spending time
at the range and practiceputting area, only to take my
game to the course andcontinually guess wrong about
(34:02):
distance or direction on anygiven shot.
Whatever, your method is to hitmore shots consistently without
alienating your friends whenthings don't go your way.
I suggest you do more of that.
(34:26):
Thanks for listening to anotherepisode of Tales from the First
Tee.
I'm your host, rich Easton,telling tales from beautiful
Charleston, South Carolina.
Talk to you soon, cause you owna gun.
I'm offended Cause you ain't nofun.
I'm offended by intelligentdesign.
I'm offended by the way youdrive.
(34:46):
I'm offended by your race.
I'm offended when I look atyour face.
I'm offended by your immigrants.
I'm offended.
You're a pacifist.
I'm offended by your pro-warstance.
I'm offended by your saggingpants.
You have an opinion that'sdifferent than mine, so now I
gotta scream at who I Cause I'moffended by everything.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
Come on out.
you're tuned into another episode of tales from
the first tee.
I'm rich easton telling talesfrom beautiful charleston, south
carolina.
In this episode I'll talk aboutWi-Fi and Kris Kringle the
(00:37):
schizophrenia of golf.
Are we over-offended?
And first, a segment I'll calladmonishment or foreshadowing.
If you're like me, you've heardall these pre-Thanksgiving
(01:03):
alerts from the media to betterenjoy family gatherings in these
incendiary, politically biasedtimes.
I mean, are these alertsadmonishment or foreshadowing?
So during the holidays Itraveled over 2,000 miles with
my canine companion, sammy,thanks to the magic of streaming
.
While driving I listen to myfavorite podcasts with Trevor
(01:25):
Noah, joe Rogan, mike Rowe, billMaher, adam Carolla, jon
Stewart, malcolm Gladwell and,for a fix of dumb yet genius
comedy, theo Vaughn.
Four to five hours of streamingpodcasts.
(01:47):
I have to switch to terrestrialradio to listen to sports talk
or NPR to remind me why I neverpursued a life as a professor.
That's 32 hours behind thewindshield over eight days
filling my brain with insights,facts, hyperbole, and I might
cast a white net.
One theme that seemed to beprevalent during the trip was
(02:08):
this psycho babble about how toavoid contentious arguments that
could lead up to words andactions that can't be taken back
.
What have we become where weneed to be advised on how to act
around our friends and family.
So I've been reading this bookSapiens by Yuval Noah it was
(02:43):
highly recommended by myfree-spirited son about human
evolution from pre-stone age tothe present.
One of his theories is that theact of storytelling helped
advance our race fromNeanderthal to Homo sapien.
Storytelling contributed tohuman cooperation, cooperation
(03:04):
and teamwork helped our raceevolve.
To underscore this point, we'vecreated children's books to
emphasize cooperation, bookslike the Enormous Potato Sloth
and a Squirrel in a Pickle, whenPencil Met a Racer and the
Biggest Snowman Ever when pencilmet eraser and the biggest
(03:28):
snowman ever.
So I ask myself what series ofevents provokes an author to
plunge themselves into spendingweeks, months and years
searching for the right proverbs, aphorisms and lessons to guide
our youth into kind,cooperative team players.
Well, age and life experiencehas a prejudicial effect on how
(03:52):
we see others, particularlyothers not like us, particularly
people who vote for the otherside of the aisle.
What gets me when we argueabout politics is we're fighting
with people we know on behalfof those who have no idea we
(04:12):
exist.
We are fighting with people weknow on behalf of politicians
that have no idea we exist.
They're driven by votes to keepthem in control of things that
keep their lobbyists content.
Yet we walk our swords into theocean to defend political
(04:35):
stances that are as sturdy as aJenga stack, and we do this by
raising our voices, peacocking.
And we do this by raising ourvoices, peacocking and berating
our friends and family,believing in the other guy's
party.
So if we were all to have readthe same children's books or
(04:57):
were lucky enough to read themto our children or grandchildren
, you might imagine that we hadshared values about cooperation,
kindness and honesty.
Maybe we're just writing andreading children's books as
adults because we're actuallyaware of how the human race is
prone to go all lord of theflies on each other when we're
(05:21):
unchecked, or because perhaps wecan influence the next
generation to improve or atleast convince a few to treat
others the way we want to betreated, and hope that it
spreads.
So, getting back to theforeshadowing of a contentious
Thanksgiving party, do adults in2024 really need to be coddled
(05:43):
and coached on how to talk totheir friends and family over
the holidays?
I guess maybe some do, but I'mguessing that media executives
hammered that point down totheir talking heads to come off
as the smartest, wokest and mostevolved network in the room.
(06:08):
My advice is to know youraudience.
If the hosts bake the bread androasted or smoked the turkey
and you don't agree with theirpolitics, shut the fuck up, pass
the dinner rolls and talk aboutsomething everybody can agree
(06:28):
with.
This year, like Deshaun Watson,is overpaid and overrated sorry
Browns fans, but you know ittoo and 66 massage therapists
can't all be wrong.
(06:51):
Wi-fi and Kris Kringle this isas true as a story ever gets.
No, this is not a story abouthow I fixed the router enabling
a strong Wi-Fi signal and savedChristmas for the family.
(07:13):
Instead, it's a story withplenty of low purply.
To make it interesting, wi-fiis a nickname I gave one of my
golf goombas who caught on fireone morning and put together a
slew of birdies to win the bet.
His story was featured in anepisode in May 2022 called Wi-Fi
(07:38):
the Birdie Machine.
Let me give you a littlebackstory.
Wi-fi is a character who beatsto his own drum.
Nonconformist would be anunderstatement To him.
Stupid rules are for suckers.
Hypocrites who try to enforcethe same rules they break are
his nemesis, but oddly enough,he's governed by the rules of
(07:59):
golf, with the exceptional gimmehere and there, and there and
there he hunkers for a good betas long as the handicaps are
fair and when I say fair I meanthey're even or perhaps tip in
his favor.
But what golfer doesn't want thesame self-tipping scales?
(08:21):
Nothing worse than agreeing toa golf bet with a stranger or
another golfer that says I don'thave a handicap but I usually
shoot Fill in the blank.
Those are the guys you have tobe cautious of.
Now.
It's possible they don't playenough or don't want to spend
(08:42):
the $40 annually to participatein the GIN handicap system, or
they're just so inconsistentthey could only cite the score
from their last round if theycould remember it.
I'd venture to guess that mostof the I don't have a
handicappers are those kind ofpeople.
Now, sometimes they purposelydon't keep a handicap, so they
(09:06):
miraculously play their supposedbest year of the round ever
when they play against you.
Everybody has a good day on thecourse every once in a while.
Hey, it bothers me as well whenthose I'm betting against have
their best day ever.
I must bring out the best ingolfers, because the story I
(09:28):
told about Wi-Fi, when he had ahat trick of birdies to complete
the round and won the cash.
It was one of Wi-Fi's bestrounds.
And look, I'm always glad tosee a friend play well, full
disclosure.
Usually I'm happiest when theirgood round is one stroke above
(09:49):
mine.
So a few years back, wi-fi getsmatched up with another local
golfer, also in search of abetter game, and not adverse to
a little lunch money on the line.
I happen to have started thisguy and played with him in the
Saturday morning game on ourlocal course and put him in the
(10:12):
category of one of the good guys.
One of the good guys easydisposition, eager to play his
best, aware of his golfshortcomings, but doesn't bark
or complain about any unintendedconsequences from an imperfect
setup or swing.
He just laughs and goes on tothe next shot.
I'm going to call this guyChris Kringle because it seems
(10:36):
like all the times I see him onthe course he only works one day
a year and has a jolly attitude.
The two couldn't be more polaropposites.
That's why I shook my head whenI saw that they had become golf
buddies.
Let's play a game, all right,on the count of three, name your
(10:57):
favorite dinosaur.
Don't even think about it, justname it Ready.
One, two, three.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Velociraptor.
What Did we just become bestfriends?
Yep.
Do you want to go do karate inthe garage?
Yep.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
What Wi-Fi and Kringle have in common is their
love of the game, penchant forplaying hooky and full knowledge
.
When either of them text theother one about playing golf
with as little as 30-minute leadtime, the answer is always a
conditional yes, conditioned onthe fact that their exit
(11:34):
strategy from their homes orlocal offices has to be executed
flawlessly, without blowbackfrom their bosses or wives.
That makes for creativestorytelling or just stealth
avoidance.
This tells you a little bitsomething about the Butch and
Sundance partnership they have.
(11:54):
Well, it's impossible at thispoint to make a long story short
, but here's where it getsinteresting.
In the beginning of the NFLfootball season.
Wi-fi, an avid CarolinaPanthers fan.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Betts.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Kringle, a diehard New England Patriots fan, that
his team would win more gamesthan the Pats.
His team would win more gamesthan the Pats.
The bet was a moderate amountof coin and understand.
This was really not a bet aboutwhich team was the best.
They both had horrible starts.
For example, after the firstseven games of the season both
(12:32):
teams were 1-6.
Somewhere really early in theseason maybe it's when the
Panthers were 0-2 and the Patshad won at least one game Wi-Fi
couldn't stand the bet that hehad made.
He couldn't stand watching histeam flounder after betting
Kringle that the Panthers had achance to be good this year.
(12:54):
So somewhere in the beginningof the season, let's say after
game two, wi-fi, while pullingup to the first tee for another
golf match with Kringle,exclaims the bet's off, I want
out.
I can't stand it anymore.
Mind you, they're in thebeginning of the season.
(13:14):
This is not mid-season or lateseason.
It's the second game of theseason.
Kringle is laughing.
He won't accept the white flag.
Come on, man, the season juststarted.
We have to let it play out.
I'm not much of a Panthers fanso I didn't catch any of their
(13:35):
games.
I'm guessing from Wi-Fi'sdisappointment there weren't
many highlights on Red Zone,where I tend to park myself on
Sundays.
So their tee time was beingcalled and they had to move to
the tee box and start thinkingabout the golf bet.
With the feeling of the worldon his shoulders, wi-fi pulled
(13:59):
out his betting money satchelthat he keeps in his golf bag
and said take it, take thesatchel and everything in it.
No more, no, not tonight.
(14:26):
Pay him, pay that man his money.
Kringle laughed and said no way, a bet's a bet.
Wi-fi threw the satchel at him.
When Kringle looked inside andsaw there was more cash than was
wagered on their football bet,he finally agreed to end Wi-Fi's
suffering.
And the funny thing about thesatchel is that every time Wi-Fi
(14:48):
wins a golf bet, he pulls thesatchel out of the bag and says
a line that you'll never forget.
Feed me, seymour, feed me allnight, me, I mean he must have
(15:11):
been so distraught with thePanthers to let the satchel go.
But the story doesn't end here.
Kringle, executing one of thebest in-your-face moves,
declares that he's going tocarry the satchel on every
business and personal trip, likethe Stanley Cup, and text pics
(15:34):
of the satchel to Wi-Fi indifferent places around the
globe, like Flat Stanley.
So he does that in a few cities.
I think he took his girls toParis to see Taylor Swift
because the tickets in Pariswere cheaper and more accessible
than in the United States.
(15:54):
The satchel made it to Paris,but security was so tight it
never got to see the heiresstour.
It did, however, make its wayaround Europe and, truth be told
, I think Kringle's girls snuckbottles of wine back to their
room in the satchel.
It was having a far moreexciting life than sitting at
(16:17):
the bottom of Wi-Fi's golf bag.
When Kringle returned to theStates, he put the satchel in
his golf bag and has lost justabout every match against Wi-Fi
since he accepted the forfeitureof the football bet.
Actually, not just some matches, every match.
(16:38):
He's now convinced he's cursedlike the Curse of the Bambino,
the Sultan of Swat, the King ofCrash, the Colossus of Clout,
the Colossus of Clout, the GreatBambino.
So how do you break out of thiscurse?
(16:58):
Well, kringle's tried lessons.
He's gone to the range in theshort game hitting area the day
before his matches with Wi-Fi Ihappened to be practicing
putting and saw Kringle hard atwork trying to find what was
lost over the past severalmonths.
I played with the two of themlast week just to witness from
(17:20):
my own eyes what Kringle wastalking about.
And you know what?
I really couldn't tell thatKringle was losing the match.
He never complained, nevercursed, never threw a club or
whined about any of his shots orputts.
But as we putted out on thelast hole, kringle just said
under his breath putts.
(17:40):
But as we putted out on thelast hole, kringle just said
under his breath lost again.
If Wi-Fi's game was also tanking, I would say the satchel
exchange was like the gift tothe Magi.
But Wi-Fi's handicap isdropping like a mic on 8 Mile
and he's playing his best golf.
The funny thing is the Panthersand the Patriots are still both
(18:14):
tied at three wins and tenlosses, and Wi-Fi's out of one
satchel and Kringle is out ofone good golf game.
Go figure.
Do you think we as a societyare way over offended?
I'm offended because you're gay.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
I'm offended by Chick-fil-A.
I'm offended by your Starbuckscups.
I'm offended by the DonaldTrump.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
You have an opinion that's different than mine, so
now I gotta scream at why.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Cause I'm offended by everything.
Cause I'm offended byeverything, come on out.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Is it me or are more people prone to taking offense
and telling everybody about it?
The term shaming has become thenew arsenal for the
underappreciated Social mediashaming, gay shaming, lgbtq
shaming, shaming for forgettingthere are more letters after
(19:15):
LGBTQ, fat shaming, slut shamingIs there such thing as fat slut
shaming?
Okay, now I've offended aperson with an overactive
appetite and libido.
Whenever something that's beenaround for a while becomes
popularized or condemned, Ialways try to look back and ask
(19:35):
what could have happened to makethis battle cry so top of mind.
The Me Too movement becamefront and center when Harvey
Weinstein's accusers cameforward, starting an avalanche
of similar sexual power plays inall industries.
The Black Lives Matter movementsurfaced in response to the
(19:56):
acquittal of George Zimmermanwho fatally shot Trayvon Martin.
So what started the?
I'm offended by that movement.
I don't think there's onetrigger event for the
over-offended.
I think it's been a slow traindriven by taming
microaggressions in the schoolsand workplace.
(20:17):
Political correctness in theworkplace.
Once I left college,universities began implementing
speech codes to foster toleranceby limiting offensive speech,
and I swear I had nothing to dowith it.
The timing is just coincidence.
Over time, this movementexpanded beyond campuses,
(20:38):
influencing public discourse andgave the media a needed breath
of fresh air and a battle flagto shame offenders.
Fat shaming came from left fieldand was born out of our own
collective weight changes overthe past 50 years.
You might want to be sittingdown for these factoids,
(21:00):
particularly if you'reoverweight.
Over the past 50 years, theaverage American men's weight
rose from 166 pounds to 200pounds, or a 20% increase, and
women's average weight went from140 pounds to 177 pounds.
That's a 37 pound increase, or26% gain in weight.
(21:25):
And you wonder why the pornindustry is booming.
You see Fat shaming, anxiety,shaming and patriarchy flexing
all in one observation.
Shame on me.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame on you.
Shame, shame, shame, shame on Q.
This was serious, but it turnedinto something fun.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Hey, let's face it, the facts are the facts.
We are all getting bigger as asociety.
I just saw a side-by-side snapof World Series crowds from 1970
compared to one from recenttimes.
The conclusion we arenoticeably bigger.
(22:17):
And when I say bigger, I meanovernourished.
And when I say overnourished Imean the big O, not the one you
hope for on your birthday.
I mean the big O for obese.
Hope for on your birthday, Imean the big O for obese.
(22:37):
Hey, let's see what levers RFKJr can pull to improve the
long-term quality of our foodand water.
I think this is where hope is astrategy.
Is our obesity the unintendedconsequences of a well-fed
country?
Is this what China and Indiaare going to look like in the
future?
Is our obesity the effect ofmultinational food companies
(23:00):
delivering low to no nutritionfoods at far lower prices than
higher nutrition foods?
Junk food is inexpensivecompared to healthier
alternatives.
Their availability isubiquitous.
The changes in what we eat andhow much we eat have had the
(23:21):
biggest changes in our weight asa nation.
So we're fatter because of whatwe eat.
And couple that with a moresedentary lifestyle, starting in
our Wonder Bread years, and webecome a bigger than life poster
of ourselves.
Fat shaming is an insensitiveobservation, particularly when
(23:45):
it's delivered as a weapon tohurt someone.
That being said, if we as anation continue to move less and
eat more, we shouldn't beoffended when it's brought to
our attention.
I'm not going to tell someone.
I'm offended when a loved oneor a friend suggests I eat less
white things and eat more greenthings.
(24:07):
Guilty as charged.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
All right, listen up everybody.
I have something to tell you.
I'm not quite sure how to saythis.
I'm fat.
Let me give you a minute toabsorb that.
That's the way it is.
It's nobody's fault, Meg, butI've decided to do something
about it.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
I'll finish with the last segment, back in the realm
of golfing.
If you're not a golf fan ordon't like listening to golf,
this is where I bid you adieuand I'll speak to you again soon
.
So I call this segment theSchizophrenia of Golf.
When you think about it, golfis a very mental game.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
In fact, I once heard it said that golf is 80% mental
and 20% mental.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
In other words, it's a mental game offers 80% mental
and 20% mental.
In other words, it's a mentalgame.
I've talked about this subjectin the past as I've struggled at
times executing shots that I'vemade before, both on the course
and at the practice area,probably because it's a mental
game.
Every pro I've ever worked withand most every golf video,
youtube, tiktok and the golfchannel suggest a repeatable
(25:26):
pre-shot routine to help getyour mind and body in sync.
For me, walking to my ball,gripping the club and just
taking a hard whack at the ballwithin a few seconds has little
chance of success without apre-shot routine.
I have to first check the lieof the ball to see if it's
(25:46):
encumbered by heavy, roughdivots, sand impediments or
heavy roots.
A simple foot wedge helps tocure most of those detractors,
but it's heavily frowned upon ifmoney or official scoring is at
stake.
Then I look at the target tosee if there are any branches or
hazards between me and where Iwant to land the ball.
(26:08):
Then I feel the wind to see ifit's going to have its way with
my ball when it's in flight.
I pick the club that has thebest chance of getting my ball
to the promised land.
Grip the club take a stancethat allows me to swing freely
and look at the target and thenthink of three things when I
begin my swing and those threethings are personal to me and
(26:30):
reflect certain checkpoints thatmy body needs to execute to
have the best chance ofexecution.
But it's a mental game.
Anytime I cut short any of thosepre-shot thoughts, I'm usually
faced with the consequences of abad swing.
I play with some golfers, goodand bad, that walk up to their
(26:51):
ball with the club that theythink will get them there and
just hit it without what seemsto be any pre-shot routine.
I'd love to be able to do thatif not for the impending hooks,
slices, top shots or horriblymisguided putts.
Now, don't get me wrong, I dosome of those things, or all of
(27:13):
those shitty swings in spite ofmy pre-shot routine.
However, I can trace backpretty much every crappy swing
to forgetting at least one ofthe checkpoints for that swing.
That's usually when you'll seeme talk to myself about how
disappointed I am with myshort-term forgetfulness,
(27:35):
because it's a mental game whenI'm practicing at the range or
playing solo.
I've tried the accelerated, nopre-shot routine exercise with
less than stellar results.
I know it speeds things up andwould make me a faster player.
But then I always think of thewords that Dr Banner says right
(27:57):
before he turns into theIncredible Hulk.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
We now return to Jeremy Piven as the Incredible
Hulk.
You wouldn't like me when I'mangry.
I don't like you now.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
As I do a community diagnosis of everybody's
pre-shot routine and swing, Irealize that everybody's brain
works differently and mosteverybody's tendencies vary
depending on their age, bodytype, physical limitations and,
most evidently, not everybodyneeds the same amount of
information in their lives.
(28:30):
People have capacity fordifferent information, both in
quality and quantity.
Not everybody wants to knoweverything about everything.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Jerry, do you know?
The human head weighs eightpounds.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
I always protest that I have the greatest memory.
It's my recall that sucks andnewsflash.
As we age, our recall doesn'timprove.
We might remember a time 50years ago when our older brother
allowed a girl to blindfold himand walk him directly into the
side of a building, chipping histooth, but can't remember the
(29:07):
name of that Netflix series thatwe've been watching for the
last week or was it Hulu?
It's a shame, because the morewe experience life, the more we
etch into our memory banks.
It's the limited withdrawalsthat cause the frustration.
So how does that relate to golf, you might ask?
The longer we've played golf,the more we've learned about our
(29:33):
game and managing risk to avoidbig numbers.
Every day I play and practice, Ilearn more about my personal
tendencies, some which havehelped me in other sports, but
not in golf.
I know that I tend to line upirons in woods with a closed
stance, causing me to hit theball right to left.
(29:53):
Trying to correct thatmid-round causes more problems
than it solves.
I was playing team golf withthis character I'll just call
Swing Leg, who had me visualizethe course like a three-lane
road.
He always had me pick a targetthat was on the right lane,
knowing that my ball would endup far on the left lane, which
(30:16):
is where the pin was.
I'm like that's pretty good,swing Leg.
It worked for a while and Iknow that I set up with an open
stance when I putt and slightlycut the ball.
Swing Leg had a solution forthat as well.
Apparently he's a student ofthe game as well and observes
his playing partners as much ashe focuses on his own game.
(30:39):
Good team captain.
I know that I have a tendencyto under club in the beginning
and the end of a round when I'mstiff or tired.
Now, swing leg didn't have afix for that because he didn't
look at my bag and see whatclubs I was hitting.
I have a feeling if we playedmore together, he'd figure out
the fix for that as well.
(31:01):
I know this one thing aboutmyself Overall I know that when
I try to rely on muscle memoryalone and not go through my
thought sequence, I start aninternal, sometimes external,
dialogue with myself.
See, I think we have twoentities in our heads when we
play golf.
Now just hear me out on thisbefore you call the psych ward.
(31:23):
One entity feels the shots andjust knows how far back to take
the club, how fast to swing andhow it feels when you make
center face contact with theball.
A pro once told me when you hitit pure, it feels like stale
marshmallows, others tell meit's like butter stale
(31:48):
marshmallows, others tell meit's like butter.
So one entity feels that theother entity holds all the
information about what needs tohappen, mentally and physically,
from the time I approach theball until I release the shot
from the club and hold my followthrough.
When they're out of sync, badshit happens and we start to
talk to ourselves.
I know I talk to myself.
(32:10):
I was practicing the other nightand saw a golf acquaintance
that I played with once but knewhim through others I frequently
play with and let's call himDurf.
Durf didn't see me at first andwas working on his putting game
.
He kept missing short putts andstarted blurting out sounds of
disappointment.
Come on, geez, no Understand.
(32:35):
He's practicing alone and ishaving a dialogue with himself
about how disappointed he wasfrom missing such an easy putt.
And they didn't count.
He even said come on, durf.
His name's not Durf, but youget it.
So I piped up and said hey,durf, who are you talking to?
(32:55):
He said what I said, you'retalking to somebody every time
you miss a putt.
I just wanted to know if it'sthe same guy I talk to when I
screw up a shot.
Durf is like most of us.
You take time to practice andwant to show improvement.
That's why you're doing it.
Otherwise you'd be home withyour wife talking about whose
(33:18):
turn it was to empty thedishwasher.
All right, so let me land thisplane.
As Mike Rowe always says, whenI line up a shot or a putt and
hit it exactly where I aimed andfind out that I miscalculated
the distance or direction aftermaking great contact, I always
fire my internal caddy.
(33:39):
That's the voice in my headthat convinces me that the putt
breaks to the right when itactually breaks to the left.
I'm like the Justin Thomas ofinternal caddy firers.
It helps me from becomingapoplectic after spending time
at the range and practiceputting area, only to take my
game to the course andcontinually guess wrong about
(34:02):
distance or direction on anygiven shot.
Whatever, your method is to hitmore shots consistently without
alienating your friends whenthings don't go your way.
I suggest you do more of that.
(34:26):
Thanks for listening to anotherepisode of Tales from the First
Tee.
I'm your host, rich Easton,telling tales from beautiful
Charleston, South Carolina.
Talk to you soon, cause you owna gun.
I'm offended Cause you ain't nofun.
I'm offended by intelligentdesign.
I'm offended by the way youdrive.
(34:46):
I'm offended by your race.
I'm offended when I look atyour face.
I'm offended by your immigrants.
I'm offended.
You're a pacifist.
I'm offended by your pro-warstance.
I'm offended by your saggingpants.
You have an opinion that'sdifferent than mine, so now I
gotta scream at who I Cause I'moffended by everything.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
Come on out.
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