Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You've opened the door to the Janitor's Domain, a broom closet full of wonders.
(00:06):
Beyond the plungers, brooms and unknown items of disgust are memories of the past.
The memories you are about to hear are not for the faint of heart.
The memories are meant for mature audiences only.
Listener discretion is advised.
Prepare yourself for Tales from the Janitor.
(00:30):
Hey, I'm over here.
I was just keeping an eye out for you.
It's always good to keep an eye out for people here.
You just never know who you might see.
Or, uh, not see.
I love coming here though.
Did you know that this is the only revolving bar in New Orleans?
(00:51):
This bar rotates once every 15 minutes.
I wonder if it makes you drunker quicker.
Or at least makes you feel like you're spinning.
Or maybe it counteracts the alcohol and keeps you straight.
I don't know.
Louisiana is a great place to visit.
It has a lot of history.
(01:13):
Some good, some not so good.
On October 31, 1803, President Jefferson was authorized to take possession of this property.
A Louisiana purchase was bought for less than three cents an acre.
It also doubled the size of the United States overnight.
(01:34):
Can you imagine buying a property like that today?
When slavery was at its highest, close to 50% of the inhabitants were enslaved.
It was a dark time in the history of the United States.
But one thing that came out of the history of this area being controlled by many different
countries was the culture, which is expressed in the food, the architecture, the language,
(01:58):
and so many others.
Such examples would be the African, the Creole, the Acadian, and the Islano.
Also, while most people do speak English here, there are people that speak French, French
Creole, Cajun French, Spanish, and even a small group that speak Vietnamese.
So many people with hopes and dreams and oh gosh I'm doing it again aren't I?
(02:25):
One of these days you're going to want to hear what I have to say.
One of these days.
Why don't we talk about something that we can really sink our teeth into.
Now who in the fuck does she have in the house?
(02:47):
I'm tired of this shit.
Let's see who this fucker is.
It better not be her fucking ex.
I'll kill that son of a bitch if it is.
Catherine!
Where the fuck are you?
(03:08):
I'm in the kitchen.
Did you have a bad day at work?
Where in the fuck is he?
Who?
The man in the house.
I saw him as I was pulling in.
I don't know what you're talking about.
It's just you and me.
I saw him.
Where is he hiding?
In the closet?
(03:28):
Under the bed?
Settle down Josh.
There's no one else here.
Is it your ex?
You told me that you wouldn't go back to him.
Josh, there is no one else here.
Is it because I'm fucking you?
Now he gets to fuck me?
Is that it?
Settle down.
I don't know what you saw, but I was alone in the house.
(03:51):
Don't you dare try to lie to me you bitch.
I saw him in here.
You were fucking in my house weren't you?
I don't know where any of this is coming from.
I love you.
Shut your fucking trap.
I know what I saw.
Honey, why don't I get you a drink and you can tell me about your day.
(04:12):
Quit stalling.
Where is he?
I know he's here.
There is no one here.
I don't know what you saw, but there is no one else in this house.
You fucking little slut.
Come here.
Let's go explore the house together.
Josh, you're hurting me.
You think this is pain?
If I find him, you'll feel some pain.
(04:33):
There is nobody here.
You keep saying that, yet I still don't believe you.
Let's go upstairs first.
God damn it.
The damn bats are back again.
Josh you're really scaring me.
Oh yeah?
Well your boy toy better be even more scared.
(04:55):
Cause when I find him, I am going to fuck him up.
You're not going to find anyone.
You're the only man for me I swear.
Yeah right.
One man fucking you isn't enough.
But don't worry I'll find him.
Here sit down.
Let's see.
(05:16):
Is he under the bed?
Nope, not here.
Is he in the closet?
Nope, not there either.
How about the other closet?
Nope, not there either.
Behind the curtains.
Not here.
(05:36):
Where is that bastard hiding?
I keep telling you there was no one here.
Come here.
Ow, you didn't have to grab me so hard.
Is he in the bathroom?
Not in here.
Where is that bastard?
The only other place he could be is in the linen closet.
(06:01):
Aha!
There's nobody here.
Maybe I didn't see anyone.
I told you there was nobody here.
I'm sorry about the way I treated you.
It's going to take a lot more than an I'm sorry.
I can't believe you thought I'd go back to him.
(06:23):
I'm sorry I said that.
You know I get jealous.
There is absolutely nothing to get jealous about.
I'm with you.
I'm going to go for a walk.
I need to cool down.
Do you want me to go with you?
Thank you.
But no, I need to be alone.
I'll get dinner ready while you're out on your walk then.
(06:45):
Thank you.
Uh, hey, Kathy?
Yes?
I, I love you.
I just wanted to tell you that.
I know.
Enjoy your walk.
I can't believe I treated her so badly.
(07:17):
I'm going to have to go to the store and get some flowers.
Maybe some chocolates too.
I'm going to have to buy her a truckload of flowers for the names I called her.
She is a good woman.
I can't see myself without her.
Maybe I should marry her.
Evening, sir.
(07:40):
Nice day for a walk, isn't it?
Oh, yes it is.
I couldn't help but overhear you talking to yourself.
I don't know what you did, but I would recommend the Jewellery Road.
You think so?
(08:01):
Let me ask you a question.
Yeah?
What's that?
What would you say if you could spend eternity with her?
I would say that is a very long time.
Unless you're talking about time in heaven.
Heaven?
No, we stay here on earth.
(08:28):
Are you some kind of doctor?
No, I don't study medicine.
Then what are you talking about?
Do you want to live forever?
With her?
Not just her, but with anyone you choose.
(08:51):
Well yes, I would be silly to say otherwise.
Perfect.
Shall we begin?
Do I have your permission?
I don't even know what I'm agreeing to.
A new life.
Yes, I agree to that.
I definitely want a new life.
(09:13):
Here we go then.
What are you doing?
Silence.
I have to kill you in order for you to live forever.
Wait, what?
No, no, no, stop!
Stop!
What have you done?
(09:38):
I gave you what you wanted.
A new life.
Don't waste this one like the one before.
(10:03):
The story you just heard was just your typical story about someone alone in the night, down
with grief and questioning life, then being bitten.
Vampire stories are usually romanticized and glammed up in Hollywood pictures, but vampires
live among us you wouldn't even know.
(10:25):
Their feeding habits may be different than what you think you know, as they're mostly
just people feeding off energy.
They can walk around during the day, come from and practice multiple religions.
I know what you want to hear is the urban legend, but this is the urban legend.
Hollywood is slowly transforming the picture of the vampire, trying to make them more human,
(10:49):
but I know it'll take some time for the likes of you to believe it.
Vampires of all kinds mostly just want to support and protect people and their family.
The whole pointy teeth and sucking blood and living forever isn't a thing.
Don't go telling the Louisiana people that.
Who knows what they'll do.
(11:09):
Shall we just go to Baton Rouge?
There's a wild mouse I want to talk to you about.
Daddy, why are we here?
It's bad enough we work here.
Now you want us to come here on my day off too?
I told you.
I have to talk to someone first, then we'll go to the movies.
(11:30):
I guess we are early.
That's okay.
We'll wait.
I'll be right with you.
Is that him?
Yeah, that's him.
Your promoter?
Yeah, he has an idea for an act.
Really?
What's he going to do?
Change a light bulb on stage?
I don't know, honey.
That's why I'm here to talk to him.
(11:50):
No, no, no.
I need the trapeze artists higher.
Just get them higher.
Mr. Jones, are you here to talk about what are you doing here?
Who?
Me?
Yes, you.
I'm just here with my dad.
Well I think you're just what I'm looking for.
Just what are you looking for?
You're a good promoter, but you gotta learn people.
(12:13):
She'll never do.
I think she'll do.
Do what?
She'll do.
She won't do.
Says who?
Says me that's who, and you won't do.
Yeah, maybe I don't want to.
You want to.
Want to what?
Want to do.
But you won't do.
I won't do what?
Even if you could do, you wouldn't do.
(12:35):
So there's nothing to do and that's the end of it.
It's done.
There's nothing more to talk about.
You lay into me with a who do, what do, voodoo with some starlet I've never seen before in
my life and then you say that there's nothing more to talk about.
We haven't even begun to talk about anything yet.
Excuse me, but what are we talking about?
Women.
We're all alike in this town.
That's my daughter you're talking about.
(12:56):
Get them apart.
That's all they care about.
Okay, let's talk then.
Now you want to talk.
I want to talk.
Talk about what?
What about talk?
Quit talking in circles.
I'm confused.
So am I.
I'm not.
What is that going on over there?
(13:16):
It came from the wild mouse ride.
Let's go check it out.
I thought we were talking.
We'll continue this talk later if you call what we're doing talking.
Mr. Jones, come quick.
There's been a terrible accident.
Clear the way.
(13:37):
Oh my God.
What happened?
It looks like the child fell.
That's got to be at least 25 feet.
I don't have a pulse.
Is anyone a doctor here?
I think she's dead, sir.
This is going to be the end of me.
People back up, back up.
We're going to have to close the park.
I know.
(13:58):
Alert the gates.
This is Mr. Blue.
We have a code 11.
Clear the park.
Why does this have to happen?
It'll be all right, daddy.
No a pulse.
This is the end of me.
The Fun Fair Park was a place where kids and families could go and have fun.
(14:22):
In the 1980s, the story started about this fair and never slowed down.
There were stories of satanic cults running wild at night, stories of multiple decapitations
on the wild mouse ride, a mechanic being struck by a coaster, multiple broken bones, ghosts
from the people injured walking around the park.
(14:44):
My goodness.
Though none of these accounts ever happened.
Or at least there's no proof of them happening.
Only heard.
The child who fell survived, though he did suffer a head injury.
But between that and all the other legends, the park was forced to close.
But not until 1999.
(15:07):
The ride, however, was closed earlier as it was needing major repairs from all the use
it had received.
This story is just another example of how an urban legend can have a negative impact
on things.
Oops.
Our next tale takes us to New Orleans where we hear about the L'Lori Mansion and, well,
(15:29):
just some bad people.
Morning Judge.
Come on into the kitchen.
What you got, officer?
I got an elderly woman here.
It looks like another servant couldn't get out in time.
I don't think she wanted to.
(15:50):
What do you mean?
I think the fire actually started in here.
Are you saying this was a suicide?
It looks like it.
But why?
Hey, Judge.
Come and take a look at this.
You got something?
Yeah, and I think you're gonna want to see it.
(16:13):
Hold on.
I'm still trying to figure out why this person was chained to the oven.
She's chained around the ankle, it looks like.
Why would someone do this?
This explains why she couldn't escape the fire.
(16:33):
See if you can get the chain off the stove and get her out of here.
I'll see what I can do.
Okay, what do you have?
Damn if I know, but you're not gonna like this.
What did you find?
It smells like bowel-wow mutton in here.
Wait until you open the door.
(16:57):
Come on, be bricky with me.
There has to be at least five people in here.
Maybe six.
What do you think happened in here?
This one is a head injury.
Obviously done before the fire.
Judge, this one is hanging by her neck.
(17:20):
Or what's left of it anyways.
Well this one is chained down with her legs spread apart.
Hey, Judge, what do you think really went on here?
The family is well known.
I know that they've had some incidents before, but nothing like this.
What happened here before?
(17:42):
Rumor has it to where the missus chased a little girl off the roof and the girl fell
to her death.
Was there an investigation?
Never.
A child was reported that she was sick.
Supposedly she's buried on the property.
How old was the girl?
She was only eight, sir.
(18:03):
What's the story you know?
The story I know is that the girl was brushing the missus' hair and the brush got snagged.
That caused the missus to jump up and hit the girl.
And then the girl took off running.
Is that what you think happened?
After seeing what I've seen today, it wouldn't surprise me if she was thrown off the roof.
(18:26):
That would make sense.
What do you want me to do?
Get the bodies out of here.
Try to be quiet when you do.
What about the press?
Don't tell them anything.
If word gets out about this, there'll be a riot.
I think word is gonna get out.
(18:47):
I know.
We just need one day of peace at least.
I'll do my best, sir.
It's not gonna matter.
They are all going to hell anyways.
(19:10):
In 1834, there was a fire in the Lelorey Mansion.
When the investigators were able to look at the scene, they found a horrible sight.
Multiple servants were chained and shown signs of abuse.
Stories broke out that when people saw the fire and tried to rescue the servants, the
Leloreys would not give them the keys.
(19:31):
When they couldn't get the keys, the people broke in the doors and found seven bodies
horribly mutilated, suspended by their necks with their limbs stretched and torn from one
extremity to the other.
They were too weak to move on their own.
When the story of the abused servants became widely known, a mob of citizens attacked the
(19:51):
residents and demolished everything they could get their hands on.
The servants that were still alive were taken to the local jail, where they were available
for public viewing.
The police started digging holes on the property and many bodies were found, including children.
During the mob assault on the house, the Leloreys were able to sneak down to the harbor and
(20:14):
went to Paris.
Legends started to grow about the family and what happened inside the house, but I don't
want to talk about the legends as they will do nothing compared to the truth.
Sometimes your world is just ugly, a devil's toy box of horrors.
I think I want to show you an unusual barn in the middle of nowhere, huh?
(20:39):
Let's reflect, shall we?
Let's hide in the barn.
Good idea.
I need to catch my breath anyway.
(20:59):
Hey, what's this box on the ground?
How much money do you think we got?
Oh, a couple grand easy.
Maybe even ten grand.
Oh, he's going to be living the high life now.
(21:27):
What is this place?
It's a barn, man.
Beats me.
I've never seen so many mirrors before.
Why would someone do something like this?
Man, I don't know.
But it should be a good place to lay low for a while.
(21:52):
Excuse me, sir?
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry.
I didn't see you there.
It's against the rules to smoke in here.
What?
You can't smoke in here.
Well, what do you want me to do?
I just lit this.
I know.
I have nothing against smoking.
I smoke too.
(22:12):
If you want, you can just finish it outside.
We have an area.
I'll show you if you want me to.
I'm not a fucking idiot.
I wasn't trying to be mean to you.
You don't need to yell at me.
By the way, my name is Sarah.
Can I help you with anything?
Well, we're just looking.
Looking at me?
(22:34):
Right now?
Well, yes.
What?
To see me do something?
Oh, sure.
Look at my ass.
I can flex my cheeks one at a time.
Left, right, left, right.
What are you doing?
I thought you wanted to look at my ass.
(22:59):
Do you happen to have a bathroom in here?
Right behind you.
Oh, good.
I gotta go something fierce.
You know, you really ought to put up a sign.
Like that one?
Yeah, like that one.
(23:20):
Do your feet hurt?
Uh, what?
Do your feet hurt?
It looks like you've been on your feet a long time.
I wear these padded insoles.
They really help me.
My feet used to ache all the time.
Okay.
Do you have anything to eat here?
I have some pistachios.
(23:41):
They are really amazing.
They are my favorite nut.
Pistachios.
You don't have any regular peanuts?
Just these, but I can go in the back and see if I have anything else if you want.
Why don't you wait until my buddy gets out of the john?
Oh, it won't take long.
I can go look and be back really quick.
(24:04):
Is there anyone here?
Nope, just the three of us.
When was the last time you cleaned that?
I've never cleaned it.
Diane used to clean it.
I thought you said it was just us.
It is.
So where is this Diane?
(24:24):
She's in the back room.
I'll go check it out.
So are you guys running from the law?
Where did you get an idea like that?
Well the bag was open and I saw the money.
Plus I can see that you're carrying a gun.
You knew that I was carrying a gun?
(24:46):
Well yeah.
She's in there.
Under the tarp.
Under the tarp?
What the fuck?
Did you find her?
She's fucking dead.
Well, yeah I said she used to clean the bathroom.
(25:07):
This cracks me up.
Fast acting stimulating sex enhancements.
One hundred percent guaranteed.
It's always about sex with you guys.
I'm gonna go put on some music.
Sarah, shut the fuck up.
You have a dead body in your storage room.
Oh, what happened to her?
(25:28):
I killed her.
Wanna dance with me?
I'll let you touch my butt.
What?
All the boys used to come here and only talk to her.
Well I like talking too.
Why don't people want to talk to me?
Am I not sexy enough?
How did you kill her?
(25:50):
I shot her.
There's a camera over there.
Do you want to take pictures of me?
You can stick your tongue in my mouth.
What type of sick fuck are you?
You don't want to take pictures of me so you can go home and rub yourself?
Maybe your friend can watch us make out.
(26:12):
I'll touch you down there if you want me to.
I think we should get out Ron.
Hi Ron.
My name is Sarah.
Who is your friend here?
Don't tell her my name.
I'll bang you in the back room if you tell me your name.
You can even stick it up my ass if you want.
(26:32):
You are a sick bitch.
I'll pass.
Do you have anything to drink around here?
Sure.
Let me get you both some water.
You look thirsty.
Come on man.
We should just get out of here.
Can I go with you?
(26:52):
Why should we take you?
Do I look like some evil criminal?
Are you scared of me?
Here's your water.
I know that you guys are in a bit of trouble and it's probably not your fault.
However, I will be needing your cooperation.
What is it that you need from us?
Ron, are you seriously entertaining this?
(27:15):
Quiet.
Let me do the talking.
You have talked enough.
So what do you need from us?
For you to take the body and give me the money.
You want us to remove the body and give you the money.
What do we get out of this?
(27:36):
You get me.
That doesn't feel like a very fair deal.
You get everything and we get nothing?
I'm never good enough.
It wasn't even my fucking fault.
Come on Ron.
Let's just get out of here.
I think you're right.
(27:58):
Do you think it's just that easy?
What are you talking about?
Henry, you're starting to talk funny.
Do you think I would waste my virginity on a fucking live person?
Did you drug us?
She fucking drugged us.
(28:23):
You should have just let me go with you.
You guys just stay here.
I'll be right back.
Hey Henry, wake up man.
(28:45):
Oh man, Sarah must have drugged us good.
Sarah?
Who now?
What?
Sarah?
She... where's she at?
Who's Sarah?
We just walked in here and you picked up a box and you were just out of it for a couple
(29:06):
minutes.
So there is no Sarah.
No dead body in the other room.
The room right over there.
Where did it go?
Dude, whatever you just smoked, give me some.
(29:28):
Let's just get out of here.
Yeah, sounds good to me.
What were we doing in the barn anyways?
Honestly, I don't remember.
Hey, why are there pistachio shells all over the ground?
(29:51):
Lost in time and space, trapped inside of our mind is a place called the janitor zone.
A place where everything gets swept up to.
Now wouldn't that be something?
A legend has it that an old shack in rural northern Louisiana is where the devil's toy
(30:15):
box is said to be located.
Inside this shack it's said that the place is completely covered with mirrors.
The floors, the walls, the ceiling, all face each other.
Welcome to the mirror dimension.
Now I've been in some fun houses but those are not completely covered.
(30:37):
People supposedly have lost their minds, disappearing and even committing suicide inside.
Golly.
People seem to lose track of time and space.
People see people but they don't know if they're real or if they're reflection or visions of
the past.
Who knows?
(30:57):
I'll leave you with a quote from a movie made here.
I don't think before I act sometimes but I'm not a bad person.
You think bad people have the capacity to love and stuff?
I'll see you in school at the Gorham Campus.
(31:42):
This is a house in New Orleans.
They call the rising sun.
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy and me.
(32:03):
Oh God, I'm one.
And my mother was a tailor.
(32:24):
She sold my new blue jeans.
And father he was a gambling man.
Drank down in New Orleans.
Now the only thing that a gambler needs is a suitcase and a trunk.
(32:56):
And the only time he's half satisfied is when he's all the drunk.
(33:19):
I got one foot on the platform.
The other foot's on the train.
Well I'm going back to New Orleans to wear my ball and chain.
(33:44):
Oh, mother.
(34:13):
Tell your children not to do as I have done.
Why spend your life in sin and misery in the house of the rising sun?
(34:45):
This is a house in New Orleans.
They call the rising sun.
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy and me.
(35:06):
Oh God.
I'm one.
Oh God.
(35:43):
I'm one.
(36:13):
I'm one.