Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You've opened the door to the Janitor's Domain, a broom closet full of wonders.
(00:07):
Beyond the plungers, brooms, and unknown items of disgust are memories of the past.
The memories you're about to hear are not for the faint of heart.
The memories are meant for mature audiences only.
Listener discretion is advised.
Prepare yourself for hails from the Janitor.
(00:43):
Ah, sure thing, boss. I'll clean this place right up.
This abandoned hospital. No one has set foot in here in 30 years.
Nothing crazy going on here.
It's not like this place is haunted or anything.
(01:06):
I'm just out here. All by myself.
What was that? Hello? Is anyone there? Hello?
(01:34):
This place gives me the creeps.
Wait, is that... is that you? Can it really be you?
Oh my gosh, I'm so glad to see you.
Welcome to Maryland... oh, I'm sorry, let me remove this mask.
Ah, that is so much better. Sorry about that.
(01:59):
This place is full of asbestos.
But as I was saying, welcome to Maryland, home of Minnie the Moocher.
What? You don't know who Cap Calloway is?
Really? Seriously though, if you don't know that song, go listen to it.
Hidy, hidy, hidy-ho.
(02:23):
Oh, I digress. Maryland has a lot of history.
It came to be a state back in 1788.
I remember the newspaper headlines still to this day.
Give me liberty or give me... uh...
...brand muffin or something like that.
(02:44):
It was a long time ago.
Anyways, anyways, the history of this state is just...
Well, you'll just have to look it up or, I don't know, maybe read about it.
Look, I'm sorry, I've been wearing this mask for far too long, breathing in who knows what.
(03:05):
On to the legends already, and into the trunk.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Give me up, come me on the east, and Provo on the north, Charlie take the west.
Rick, take your squad to cover the street.
(03:28):
On it, Sarge.
Keep your eyes on us, Wubble. They'll be coming.
Adam, take your squad. Go cover the valley.
Get me mortar and set up over there.
Come on, Paul.
Man, this 68 light, I'm moving as fast as I can.
Hey, if you move any slower, you're going to miss the war.
(03:51):
Fine by me, I didn't want to be here anyways.
It's not like you can walk back to Alabama.
Let's clear the LZ and keep it clear. Ammo cans over here, wounded over here.
First Sergeant, we're near 16.
There'll be plenty on the ground, sir, when the time comes.
Paul, set up the 60 on that log. Bill, you can be his feed.
(04:16):
Rest of you, fan out and pick out some cover.
You think we're going to see some action?
I have a gut feeling we're going to see some action.
Well, bring it on.
Look at you, getting all cocky all of a sudden.
Well, I ain't going home with no trash bags.
Better them than you, right?
They can die in their own country if they want war that badly.
(04:54):
Everyone, get low and stay alive. Here they come.
Come and meet your maker.
(05:29):
Pass, watch the flank.
Peace, stay low.
This is Alpha 6. We took out a small patrol.
Just a team of 10, two wounded, sending them back to LZ.
(05:53):
Copy that, Alpha 6. Push forward and check out the village.
We'll get the wounded on the next burn.
Copy that, Alpha 1. Moving forward.
Does anyone have an extra marlboro?
I ain't seeing anybody here.
(06:15):
I don't like this.
Where did everyone go?
You must have scared them off.
It wasn't me. I'm as scared as they are.
Cover me.
Well, we found them. Now what?
Double time attack from three.
Come on, Paul.
(06:42):
I'm coming. I'm coming.
Fuck you, bastard.
Watch out.
Alpha 6, move back. I repeat, move back.
(07:29):
Shit.
Ellicott. Ellicott City. Anyone getting off at Ellicott City?
(07:50):
This is your stop.
Rick. Rick. This is your stop.
Sir, I'm getting off.
Thank you for your service, young man.
Just did what we had to do, sir.
(08:13):
You got a family here?
No, not yet, sir.
So, you got a woman here?
Yes, sir. Went on marrying her, too.
So, you're going to propose?
Yes, sir. Got the ring right here.
Go on, then. Go start your life, young man.
(08:34):
Well, I plan on it, sir.
Next stop, Newcomb.
Honey? Honey, I'm home.
(09:08):
I came back.
Who's that?
Rick. Rick.
(09:29):
Why couldn't it have been me instead of Paul?
Rick, wait, please.
I have nothing to say to you.
I'm sorry.
You're sorry. You're sorry.
Didn't seem like you were very sorry back there.
(09:50):
I thought I... I thought you... I thought you were dead.
I am dead.
But only thing is, you're the one who killed me.
What? You're the one who killed me.
Rick, please.
It's over, Beth.
Rick, please. I love you.
(10:15):
Stop. Stop the lies.
I stayed alive because of you. You!
I thought life was worth living because I had you.
I guess you had other plans.
(10:37):
Enjoy your life.
Welcome home, Rick.
No.
(11:19):
The only way to not fight this fight Is to take back what is mine
Try to catch your breath, try to keep your pace
In the darkness of night
(11:53):
Tonight, that's where you try to hide I see no life in your eyes
And another one gone. And another one gone.
Another victim of the demon truck.
Even I didn't see that one coming.
(12:16):
And here I am telling you the story.
No wonder where this yarn was going.
The demon truck is one of those legends that you just don't want to see.
Let alone hear about.
Just outside of El Cot City, it's rumored that on a twisting road,
a four wheel truck driven by a demonic figure,
(12:38):
hell bent on destruction, will appear out of nowhere,
doing a hundred miles an hour, destroying anything that comes into its path.
On this section of the road, there have been hundreds of accidents
where many have lost their lives.
It's a section of road that I'll try to avoid.
(13:00):
But enough about that.
However, our next myth takes us to Bowie,
to where we hear about a man who, uh, uh, changed.
Heh heh. Whoa.
Doctor, what exactly are you planning on doing with all these animals?
I'm trying to find out what parts are most like humans.
(13:23):
What do you mean, most like humans?
Back in the war, I saw many Englishmen lose their limbs.
The doctors tried to save as many as they could,
but they couldn't treat all of them quickly enough.
I saw hundreds of brave men, my countrymen, die right in front of me.
I don't blame the medics or the doctors, though.
(13:46):
They did everything they could.
Most of the time, inconditions are not suited for rubbish.
So you are planning on trying to find animal parts that could be used to save people?
That's one way of looking at it.
What would be one of the other ways?
To make them better.
Take a goat, for instance.
(14:08):
It is much stronger than ours, and the horns could be used for various purposes.
And the legs, how do they climb very steep angles without falling?
I guess, but isn't that almost like you playing Dr. Frankenstein?
Dr. Frankenstein took body parts from the dead.
The ones I'm researching are alive.
(14:30):
I don't see any similarities to one Dr. Frankenstein.
Do you have any test patients for your animal parts?
Why all of a sudden interest in my work?
You've been with me for months and never questioned anything that I've done before.
I just want to learn more about what you're doing.
Just, that's an intern's job, right?
(14:53):
The other doctors have been talking to you, haven't they?
I, uh, I just, yes, they have, sir.
What have they been saying?
Are they saying that my research will lead to nothing?
That I'm insane?
That I should be locked up?
They're just worried that you crossed the line, doctor.
(15:16):
They call you a has-been.
I'd much rather be a could-be if I can't be an are-now,
because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star.
I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far.
For a might-have-been has never been, but a has-been was once an are.
I don't know what you were or what you are now, but I know what I see.
(15:42):
Do you think I've crossed the line, or do you think I'm William Harvey?
Who is William Harvey?
Do they not teach you anything in schools anymore?
I honestly don't remember hearing anything about William Harvey.
William Harvey was a 17th century physician who first described
how the blood circulated to the heart, brain, and body in detail.
(16:08):
Most people thought he was crazy.
Why would people think he was crazy for that?
You see, before that time, doctors believed that the liver
created blood from the food that we ate.
The blood then went to the lungs and allowed us to breathe.
Harvey was ostracized by the scientific world.
He later became a recluse, living life in private.
(16:32):
It wasn't until many years later that doctors believed him to be correct.
So, do you think I'm like Harvey?
No, I don't.
So you think what I'm doing is insane, then?
I never said that.
It's okay. It's my job to prove all the doubters wrong.
(16:53):
I guess the first one I have to make believe in me is you.
And how do you plan on doing that?
Grab your jacket. I have something I need to show you.
Where are we going?
To my personal lab.
I didn't know you had a personal lab.
Most don't. I've only showed this to a couple of people before.
(17:15):
So, where is this lab of yours?
I keep it hidden in the woods.
Why all the secrecy?
You'll see.
Doctor, have you, um...
Have you been doing testing that most people wouldn't agree with?
Most people don't like change.
Remember Harvey.
(17:37):
If you still believe that the liver makes blood.
How far into the woods is this lab?
(17:59):
We're almost there.
I like to work with no one near me.
What type of experiments have you been running out here?
Ones that make you believe in the before unbelievable.
(18:22):
Welcome to my secret lab.
So, where is this thing that is going to make me a believer?
It's right over here.
Under the blanket?
Prepare yourself for what you are about to see.
And remember, you can't tell anyone about this.
Are you ready?
Just let me see it already, Doctor.
(18:50):
Behold the next wonder of the world.
Heavens to Betsy.
What am I looking at?
You are looking at the one and only Goatman.
Half goat, half man.
This patient lost his legs during the war.
How... how did you do this?
A lot of testing.
(19:11):
Unfortunately, some testing didn't go well.
How many tests have you done?
It doesn't matter how many I got wrong.
All that matters is how many I got right.
I need to get a closer look.
No, don't open the cage!
Oh, no!
(19:45):
Come on, start!
Start!
Oh, no!
No!
The tales of the Maryland Goatman have been fairly steady since the 1970s.
But it started somewhere back in the 50s.
(20:08):
Most of the stories start with the disappearance and deaths of multiple dogs.
Poor pups.
According to some, the scientist is one that used to work at the Beltsville Agriculture Research Center.
Others believe that it's a cursed creature that was summoned from the depths of hell.
Depending on who tells the story, you'll get different versions of what the Goatman might look like.
(20:31):
But most agree that it looked like the mythical faun.
Recently, the stories have evolved to the fact that now the Goatman attacks couples,
frequenting the local lover's lane, beating cars with an axe.
Ugh.
Next time you take someone out on a date, you might want to keep an eye out for, uh, for horns.
(20:54):
Now we shall take a journey across the bridge in Kingsville.
For some monkey business.
Go! Go! Go!
Did you grab everything they had?
That and a pack of cigarettes.
Good. Give me one.
Nothing like good old lucky.
(21:16):
Come on, get in.
Shit, man! It's the fuzz. Must have had an alarm in there.
Buckle up, buttercup.
Buttercup?
Yeah, man. Heard it one time on this show. I like it.
Uh, well, I think it sounds stupid.
Or I could tell you about it now. You see, there's this ship and...
(21:39):
Shut up! Come on, man, just drive.
Them pigs ain't catching me.
Do you have a plan?
A plan? Shit, man. I've been making up this whole thing as we go along.
Who needs a plan when we're flying by the seat of our pants right now?
Ain't no one got time for planning.
(22:01):
Only women need to plan. We are men of action.
Damn, I see another cop car. Must have called in for backup.
Well, you better start by hitting that gas pedal harder.
You know, it's the thin vertical pedal, the one next to the pedal you've been riding.
I can't go full speed around these curves.
You can still go a little faster. The cops are on our ass.
(22:24):
Pretty soon they'll be able to draw stick figures on the back of our car.
You wanna drive, man?
You know, I can't drive.
Then shut up and quit being a side seat driver.
Sorry.
Hey, remember that time Mrs. Carson said we'd never amount to anything?
Boy, was she wrong.
(22:45):
I don't think she was thinking that we would be robbing convenience stores.
How much do we get anyways?
The bag is in the back, but I know I saw a couple of 20s in there.
Pretty soon we'll be moving up to the big time.
What, like robbing banks?
(23:06):
Slow down there, Judd. I was thinking about moving up to grocery stores next.
I mean, yeah, they should have lots of cash and...
Hey, watch out!
Stupid deer.
Too bad I didn't have my gun ready. I would have shot it.
You would have what?
I would have shot it. I could use some more venison.
(23:28):
Do you somehow forget we're in the middle of a police chase?
Oh, yeah. Would have been hard to get the deer, I guess.
I swear your brother used your head as a basketball way too many times.
At least your mom likes it.
Oh, okay. Now we're on to the mother jokes, are we?
Hey, look, man. All I said was your mom likes my head.
(23:51):
Oh, yeah? Well, your mom is like a bike. Everyone rides her.
Oh, yeah? Well, your mom is like a stamp. Licker, sticker, and send her on her way.
Oh, yeah? Well, your mom is like a hockey player. Only showers after three periods.
Oh, yeah? Well, your mom... Your mom...
Damn, man. That last one was a good one.
(24:15):
Are the pigs still behind us?
I see the lights flashing, but the sirens are getting farther away.
We have to make some more ground up.
What do you think about going across the Jericho Bridge?
Wouldn't we have to slow down to cross it? I mean, it's a wooden bridge.
If we go across it fast, the police might not go across it at all, giving us the break that we need.
(24:39):
We can lose them once we get across.
I don't know, man. I know you've heard the story. Same as me.
What about people hanging from the bridge? Yeah, I heard them.
If you're scared, just close your eyes.
Are you going to have your eyes closed?
I'm not telling you. If you want to know, you'd have to keep them open.
(25:01):
Let's do it, then.
I don't even see the cops anymore. Do you think we already lost them?
No, I still hear them, but they are way back. I think once we cross that bridge, we'll be free and clear.
Then let's do this. Hang on!
Jesus, man. Careful! You're going to lose control.
(25:22):
I was just using that little vertical pedal you wanted me to use.
Well, yeah, but a little warning next time would be nice.
We are in a car chase.
I know that.
I swear you forget sometimes.
The bridge should be coming up.
Good. I think I can see them again. Are they catching up?
(25:44):
They're gaining quick, but they ain't catching us. Not today.
Man, put that away. We don't need more of them out here.
I see the bridge.
Hold on tight. I'm gunning this bottle of Boltercross.
Dylan, watch out!
Oh, shit! Where'd she come from?
(26:05):
Ah, you all right?
I think so. Come on. We gotta get out and check on that woman.
Freeze! Come slowly with hands in the air.
Ah, shit, man.
I'm going to have to get out of here.
(26:26):
I'm going to have to get out of here.
I'm going to have to get out of here.
Come slowly with hands in the air.
Ah, shit, man. They caught us.
Come on! Slowly! Let me see your hands.
We're coming!
We're coming!
(26:47):
Thought you could outrun me, huh?
We didn't hit the woman, did we?
What woman? There is no woman.
She was walking right in front of the bridge.
I did everything I could not to hit her, but I had to.
(27:08):
She was right in front of the car.
So you've been drinking tonight too, huh, fellas?
Not a drop, officer. I swear.
Please, sir. I need to know about the woman.
Ain't no woman up here, and where you're going ain't going to be none either.
Officer, we swear there was a woman.
(27:29):
There was a woman, right, Dylan?
Cuff them, Pete. Get them into the car.
I'm going to radio dispatch and see if they can get Howard to come up here and tell this wreck.
There was a woman. She had a basket. I swear there was a woman.
There was a woman. I saw her.
Since 1865, the seemingly peaceful covered bridge has had its fair share of disturbing stories told.
(28:01):
From bodies hanging from the rafters to mass suicides, or even the spirits of the lynched enslaved people.
People have claimed to have their car stalled while going over the bridge,
while others have said to have had handprints appearing on their vehicle.
Others have seen a woman crossing the bridge with a basket of flowers and a burnt face.
(28:23):
This one, I like the best, tells a story about a monkey who protects the bridge.
I know, I know, you're like, come on, a monkey?
Well, what you should know is that this monkey has red eyes and a very large tail,
and all you can hear is blood curdling screams.
(28:45):
The Jericho covered bridge is a unique bridge.
It's the oldest one in Maryland, but it's one that you should avoid, especially during the night.
Now, for our last destination, we'll go to Miller's Church,
where we will worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies.
(29:08):
I should tell you it's going to be told in a slightly different way.
You are warned.
So, have you lived here very long?
Oh, not really, but I know the area well.
Yeah, I mean, you seem like you travel a lot, and you must know a lot of places.
(29:31):
I do travel a lot. Never really seem to stay in one spot long.
I get that. They must call you the wanderer.
You sure you're all right? You're looking kind of tired.
Yeah, I'm good. Just had a long night.
(29:55):
We almost there?
Yep, it's right up ahead.
It really is out in the middle of nowhere, isn't it?
Even nowhere is somewhere.
Yeah, true enough.
(30:23):
That'll be five dollars, please.
So, this is the place, huh?
It appears so.
It doesn't look like much.
Nope, but it used to be from what I've been told.
What happened?
Hard to say, really. I've heard so many different stories.
Told a couple of them myself.
(30:45):
They won't mind that I'm here in the cemetery, will they?
No, no, no, they shouldn't. As long as you aren't destroying the place, you should be fine.
Okay, then. Do you want to schedule a pick-up for me at nightfall?
Sure, I'll just radio dispatch and they'll send someone out here to pick you up.
(31:06):
Thanks. Hopefully I'll come up with some idea for my new horror novel.
Well, I'm out here. Do you read horror?
Nope, not really. I like to stick to drama. Do you write drama?
To be a dramatic writer, it takes hard work, talent, and discipline. That's why I just make this crap up.
(31:28):
Well, good luck making something up then.
Thanks.
Alright, let me go find a place to sit down and get to work.
I wonder how this church burnt down.
Yeah, I know some of the stories, but I don't know if I believe them.
(31:52):
Well, I hope this little boy doesn't mind me leaning against this tombstone to start writing.
Okay, scene. Cemetery. Foggy night. Storm rolling in the distance. Church in the background.
(32:13):
Chanting heard from the inside. Setting. 1960s. Character. Maybe a teen boy?
Starts off hiding in the cemetery. We hear breathing.
He sees and hears a commotion coming from the church, and he slowly sneaks up to the church using tombstones as cover.
(32:37):
The chanting is getting louder. The character, showing no fear, slowly looks through the cracks in the boards,
and sees his younger sister getting her clothes torn off, and the men circling around her and start taunting her
and chanting sexual messages as they start to address her and...
And our talented young writer decides that it's time to rest his eyes and think of a better story.
(33:05):
I don't want it getting too dark.
Okay. Time to shut my eyes for a bit.
Huh. What do we have here?
I'm sorry, I must have fallen asleep.
(33:26):
Hey, fellas. Looks like we got someone snooping on us.
It's a little girl.
What the hell are you talking about? What little...
Hey, Guy! Get your hands off me!
I think she'll be perfect for the sacrifice tonight.
What? No! Get your hands off of me!
(33:50):
Oh, she looks mighty fine. I bet you she'll burn mighty good.
Help me take her to the altar.
She sure is a big girl for her age.
She hasn't even started puberty yet. She's flat as a board.
(34:12):
What the hell are you two talking about? I'm an adult. I'm a...
What the hell? I'm wearing a dress? This has got to be a dream. This has got to be a dream.
Wake up. Come on, wake up.
Isn't that cute? The little girl praying to her God.
(34:36):
Asking him for help.
God, what is going on?
Put her on the altar. Restrain her.
Look, I think there's been a mistake. I'm not a little girl. I'm an adult.
I just came here to write a book.
Remove her clothes and cover her body with the blood of the Anointed One.
Please stop. Stop!
(34:59):
Hey, come on! Okay, joke's over. Wake up.
Brother Lewis, prepare her for the final sacrifice.
With pleasure, my lord.
Yeah, brother. Let me cover you with the blood so you can be as one.
(35:22):
By the grace of the underworld, I am ready to take this girl.
Let us all join in and support Brother Lewis as he removes the good that was sent to us with the devil's prayer.
Oh, God, please help me. Help me get out of this mess. Only You can help me, Lord. Please.
(35:45):
God, help me.
And cure and spread Your seed of evil. Amen!
Brother Lewis, are you ready?
I am ready.
Stop! Please stop. There's gotta be a misunderstanding.
Then you may begin.
For the love of the underworld.
(36:14):
What?
I must have fell asleep. That was one hell of a dream.
One moment. Let me grab my things.
Whose gravestone did I fall asleep on?
(36:37):
Little time on earth I spent, till God for her angels sent.
And one day she closed her eyes, to wake to glory in the skies.
Damn, she was only twelve years old.
Come on, you're coming.
Yeah.
(37:01):
Oh, it's you again.
Yeah, no one else wanted to come out here.
Why's that?
Oh, you know, whole thing about this place being haunted and such.
Well, thanks for picking me up again. I appreciate it.
No problem. Get in and I'll take you back to your hotel.
And nice dress by the way. Looks a little old and torn though.
(37:26):
What? Oh, I don't know how.
Look man, miss. You do you. I don't judge.
I think you got something on your face though.
Looks like blood. It is the hardest to get out of fabric.
What type of hauntings have happened here?
(37:49):
Oh, this place has a lot to tell.
It's one of those places that you could hear many, many stories about.
Legend has it that in the 1930s, Miller's Church was taken over by devil worshippers and practitioners sacrificed young girls inside its walls.
(38:11):
Then suddenly it burnt down.
The only thing left was a parking lot and a big old house.
And the only thing left was a car.
And when the house was destroyed, the girls were taken to the church.
Then suddenly it burnt down.
(38:33):
The only thing left was a parking lot and a big old oak tree.
Where, of course, more stories have been told about people getting hanged from that tree.
This little place has a lot to tell.
And none of the stories are good to hear.
Did someone really live during these horrific acts?
Maybe. Maybe we'll find out.
(38:54):
Maybe we won't.
Maybe. Just maybe.
There's someone who already knows.
Anyway, I think I'm done here.
Time to move on.
But before I leave, I'll leave you with some lyrics from a band that calls this place home.
Don't close your eyes.
Don't close your eyes.
(39:16):
Don't sing your last lullaby.
I'll hope to see you all at the Danvers State Lunatic Asylum.
I have a feeling it's inevitable.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
There was nothing left to say. How to get up, walk away. No one to hold, no one to fold. No one to hold, no one to fold.
(39:47):
Close sweat, blood in my eyes. Thunder rolling, blue skies. I can feel it in the air tonight. Say I won't press it all night.
Ain't no storm and ain't no feast. Ain't got time and ain't got sleep. But I feel fine and I feel free.
(40:15):
Cause I'm the last man standing in this room.
Always something, always something. All I ain't got, but I ain't got, nice to brush.
No one to hold, no one to fold. No one to hold, no one to fold. I've been tempted, I've been tempted. I've been tried.
(40:47):
So you wanna test my pride. I suggest you go and move inside. Say I won't press it all night.
Ain't no storm and ain't no feast. Ain't got time and ain't got sleep. But I feel fine and I feel free.
(41:11):
Cause I'm the last man standing in this room.
Cause I'm the last man standing in this room.
Cause I'm the last man standing in this room.