December 10, 2024 • 33 mins
Tales from the Janitor - Join a mysterious custodial host for a telling of tales strange and dark on a journey through the haunted nooks and crannies of these great American states. While Tales from the Janitor will always be free to listen to it is not free to make. We ask you to please leave a rating or comment on the show, share it to others and if you can, a donation would be appreciated. We thank you for listening to the show.
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Stories
Last Stand Hill
Missing Frames
Sheep Herders Complaint
The Locked Bathroom
Credits
Director -Jon DeBenedict
Developed, Created and Story by Steve Lloyd
Script by Steve Lloyd
Written by - Steve Lloyd
Assistant Writers - Stuart Tudor
Script Writer - Jon DeBenedict
Script Editor - Gems
Executive Producer - Steve Lloyd
Editor - MacabreVA
Sound Design - Steve Lloyd
Starring - Jeremy Tucker as the Janitor
Cast
Old Billy - SockX
Jackie - Jade Ivy
Young Billy - MeaganA
Pa - Scott Ramage
Nick - Steve Lloyd
Virginia - Katelyn McCann
Lawyer - Justice Margowski
Judge - Jon DeBenedict
Plaintiff - Bryan Squires
Sam - Matt Lovell
Tina - Rachel Pulliam
Brad - Michael
Oliver - Tony Westfield
Noah - Garrett Niall
Levi - Jeff Rosenau
Artwork by Joseph E.W.
Ending Song - Ghost by the Braymores
Copyright - Tales from the Janitor 2024
Disclaimer: Content of this audio drama is intended for general humor purposes only. The writer assumes no responsibility for whether or not you "get it". If you have specific questions about what is funny, consult your writer or humor professional immediately.
#horror #haunted #ghosts
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey, I've come here to remove your trash.
(00:20):
Do you have any trash?
What?
Oh wow.
What are the odds that I run into you in your own room?
But this time I surprised you.
And all with your rubber ducky bathrobe too.
(00:40):
Looks like I'm the one laughing in the beginning.
But I'm not here to make fun of your little yellow ducks.
I'm here to take your trash out and just do my job.
Look, look, look, look.
I like it here, alright?
I'm tired of moving all the time.
(01:02):
Oh shit.
Alright, alright, alright.
Fine.
I'll talk to you.
Just don't tell my boss.
(01:26):
I get the feeling he doesn't like me talking to you anyways.
I think that's why he keeps sending me away to these remote locations.
You see, I haven't always been the best servant, but I do try.
Is it my fault that you keep following me?
I don't think so.
I'm sure that when you checked in they welcomed you to Montana and to the Copper King Mansion.
(01:52):
But did you know that some people think that this place is haunted?
Even though no one has ever seen anything.
It's just a feeling.
A feeling multiple people have had.
Maybe even you right now.
(02:13):
Boga boga.
Normally I would tell you stuff about the state, but hey, it's Montana.
It's known as the treasure state, but I never found any treasured here.
Oh well.
And the stories you'll hear, well, it's unknown if they found any either.
(02:33):
I really don't know much about this place.
Sure, I've been here before, but I really didn't talk to many people.
But hey, a state without sales tax can't be too bad, right?
Well, the first story today I'm about to tell you is about a battle.
A battle that many would like to forget on Last Stand Hill.
(03:00):
Honey, I'm going to go powder my nose.
Are you going to be okay?
I'll be fine.
I'll be right here.
So here we are again, Pa.
(03:23):
Hey, Pa, what are those stones for?
Every place there is a stone, it represents where a soldier lost his life.
There sure are a lot of stones.
Some say there were close to 3,000 soldiers here on that day.
That's a lot.
(03:43):
That's the number from both sides, son.
How many soldiers did our side have?
You mean the United States?
Only about 700 men.
Only 700?
That's not a fair fight.
War doesn't care about being fair.
It only cares about who's left behind.
How did they die?
(04:06):
By doing something they should have never done in the first place.
Did they not follow their captain?
He was a general, son.
And that was his problem.
I think his ego got in his way.
It looks like there's writing on these stones.
It's the name of the soldier.
(04:28):
Is the army still like that?
I'm sure that the army has learned not to fight like it did in the past.
Plus, I don't think they use horses still.
When I grow up, I want to be a soldier.
Why is that?
So I can protect you and Ma.
Do we need protection?
(04:48):
Not if I'm a soldier.
The enemy would be too scared to attack.
I bet they would.
You're almost big enough to take me on.
Dad, what's that over there?
That is Last Stand Hill.
Why is it called that?
It's where General Custer fought until he couldn't no more.
(05:10):
Custer's Last Stand.
Do you think it was painful when he died?
I don't know, son.
I don't know.
Was Custer a hero?
Some would think so.
But not everybody.
Do you think all wars are like this?
Like what?
Where people have to die?
(05:32):
Unfortunately, yes.
We see it all too often.
Do you think there will ever be a war where someone doesn't get hurt?
It wouldn't be called a war then.
Oh.
What happened after this battle?
In the end, the U.S. Army was victorious in the war.
(05:54):
But with a great loss of people on both sides.
It's hard to say really if there was a winner.
Why did you want to bring me here, Pa?
People forget history too often, son.
And those that do tend to repeat it.
There were many strategic errors.
(06:14):
Take for instance, the fact that Custer refused to use a battery of Gatling guns.
And that he refused help from another battalion of cavalry.
It just goes to show you that if someone offers you something to aid you, you might want to
reconsider taking it.
I promise I'll do that, Pa.
(06:39):
Are you ready to go, William?
Yes.
What were you doing, dear?
Just having a conversation with my Pa.
How much do you remember about him?
Every detail.
I still remember every detail.
(07:01):
He is always right here with me.
What do you think he did here?
Knowing my father, he fought brave till his last breath.
William, we've been married for 40 years.
And every year we come here.
(07:23):
I've never questioned you.
But I have to know.
Do you find your peace here?
Yeah, I do.
Are you ready to go?
The brave may fall, but never yield.
Okay.
I'm ready.
(07:46):
Let's go.
G.K.
Chesteron wrote,
Fairytales do not tell children that dragons exist.
Children already know that dragons exist.
Fairytales tell children that dragons can be killed.
(08:09):
The Battle of Little Bighorn Site is now a national monument and a cemetery honoring both sides of that dreadful two days.
This place is beyond haunted.
Ghosts of the soldiers who fought here still walk the lands.
Maybe trying to warn the living not to repeat the mistakes or bloodshed that happened on this day.
(08:31):
The ghosts make no efforts in staying hidden, but never cause any harm.
Other than maybe elevating the heart rate.
Oh, man.
There are many stories about General Custer in his last stand, and none of them paint a pleasant picture of that day.
The only good thing that came out of this is that many military officials have studied this battle and learned from the mistakes.
(09:00):
Maybe they haven't learned everything yet, and that's why the ghosts are still here.
They can't leave in peace.
Well, the next leg of our journey is, well, you can say has been framed out of this world.
(09:26):
Sal, what do you think?
It's just a locker room, sir.
It's your first time here, isn't it?
Yes, it is. I only heard stories about it.
What kind of stories?
Just baseball stories, sir.
So nothing good then, huh?
No, sir.
So what are we doing here before the team arrives?
(09:50):
We're just here to check out the facilities.
Oh, I see. So why did you bring me?
I normally bring someone else, but they weren't available today, so I asked you.
There's not much. Check out the locker room, make sure there's running water, benches are intact, and then we go out to the field.
(10:11):
I'll let you check out the latrine, sir.
That's fine. I'm sure you've seen enough just being at ours.
Check out the benches and the lockers, make sure they're all empty for our boys.
And if they're not?
Just throw everything in the trash, unless of course there's some value to it.
Okay, I can do that, sir.
(10:34):
Holy cow, I think we'll leave this door open for a bit.
(10:55):
Water's good.
I found the gift the other team left for us.
Are you almost done? I'm done with the latrine.
Yes, sir. Just a couple more to go.
Did you find anything of value?
No, sir. Just a couple of old socks and dirty towels.
I can never leave anything nice, can I?
(11:16):
I suppose not, sir.
If everything's good here, let's go check out the field.
What do we need to check out there?
We just gotta make sure everything looks legal and that there's no hazards that need to be addressed.
Sir, how am I supposed to know if it's legal?
The umpires will check out the distances between the bases and the pitcher's mound, so you don't have to worry about that.
(11:38):
So what exactly am I checking to see if it's legal?
Just make sure that our boys will be protected. You know that the fans can't do anything to them.
I'm not sure what to look for.
Just make sure that all the gates have locks on them and that the doors and the walls can all close.
Okay, I think I...
(11:59):
Do you see that?
What is that?
Are they floating?
They look more like they're spinning, sir.
I'm gonna go run to the car and go get my camera.
What do you want me to do, sir?
Just stay here. I'll be right back.
Itch.
It's good I parked right next to the gate.
(12:26):
I can't believe I'm gonna get this unfilmed.
I hope they're...
I hope they're still there, whatever they are.
Sir, hurry. I think they're moving.
I can't believe I'm gonna get a film of any of this.
Sir, they are definitely moving.
(12:53):
I was able to get a little bit at least.
How much did you get?
Probably around 20 seconds.
What do you think they were?
I don't know. I know I'm telling someone about this.
What do we do now?
The team will be here in a few moments.
What do we tell them?
Nothing. Keep this between us for now.
(13:15):
We have a game to get ready for.
Will do, sir.
On August 15, 1950, Nick, a general manager of a minor league baseball team,
and his 19-year-old secretary were inspecting the empty baseball field before a game.
Soon, a bright flash caught their eyes, and they saw two rotating objects in the sky.
(13:41):
Nick quickly ran to his car to grab his 16-millimeter movie camera
and filmed the UFOs for 16 seconds.
The following day, the Great Falls Tribune, the local city's newspaper,
described the sightings and noted the film in the article.
The Air Force was brought in and interviewed the witnesses and took the film for analysis.
(14:03):
When the Air Force conducted the study and returned his film to Nick,
there were 35 frames missing.
What were those missing 35 frames?
Why did the Air Force remove those frames?
Today, the film sits in the U.S. National Archives and is still seen today.
Well, the next legend I'm going to tell you is one that, well, how do I say this?
(14:31):
It's one that comes in all shapes and sizes.
May it please Your Honor, Opposing Council, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
(14:55):
I apologize for the lengthy opening statement of the prosecutor,
and I will try to keep this brief.
We all take it for granted, don't we?
I mean, you hold your fingers up to your neck or wrist and you'll find your pulse.
It's always there.
You never in your wildest dreams think that one day it will no longer be there.
(15:22):
Morgan never saw it coming.
He tried his hardest to confront his fears.
But being submerged under water, it all came crashing down around him.
Morgan suffered a heart attack and drowned, according to doctors.
He left behind his loving wife, Tina.
(15:45):
Now, Tina never had a chance to say goodbye to her husband.
She did what she could to deal with the loss of losing Morgan.
She went to grief counseling.
She dealt with her emotions and in time tried to move on with her life.
But she can't do that right now.
(16:07):
And you want to know why?
It's because one morning she finds herself being taken into the police station for questioning.
Accused of murder.
Murder.
She finds herself here today being accused of murdering her husband.
(16:28):
I mean, they had to blame somebody, right?
Who better than a grieving widow, right?
Wrong. Wrong.
You see, ladies and gentlemen, we live in a country that has courts and laws.
You just can't by chance convict someone of murder.
(16:52):
And the prosecution must prove without a doubt that she was the one that murdered her husband.
A woman with no criminal past.
A woman who was married to Morgan for 22 years.
And in 22 years she never thought that she would have to feel the loss of the closest person whom she loved dearly.
(17:18):
There are many stories about who she was and what happened during their life together.
But what you won't hear is motive.
Tina was the last person who wanted her husband dead.
I trust you here today will have an open mind and an open heart.
(17:42):
Thank you.
Sorry I took longer than I thought.
If you're a native, you may call your first witness.
Thank you, Your Honor. The state would like to call Samuel Gray.
Please place your left hand on the Bible.
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?
(18:05):
I swear.
You may be seated.
Mr. Gray, can you please state your name and what you do for the court?
My name is Samuel Gray and I'm the manager at the Food Mart.
Thank you. What is it that you do at the Food Mart besides being the manager?
(18:27):
I'm in charge of all bulk orders.
Is this where you knew the defendant?
Yes. They would come in and buy feed for their sheep.
They, meaning the defendant and the victim.
Objection, Your Honor. Where is this leading?
We're getting to that, Your Honor.
Make it quick, counsel.
(18:48):
Would anything unusual happen while they were buying the feed?
They would yell at each other for buying all the feed.
Yell at each other? Do you know what for?
Speculation, Your Honor.
Answer the question.
They would argue about how much they were buying and why he had to have all the sheep.
(19:12):
Did they argue all the time?
Most of the time. Sometimes it was just Morgan and sometimes it was just Tina.
Thank you. No more questions, Your Honor.
Defense, are you ready to cross-examine?
Your Honor, I have nothing to ask him. This is a waste of time.
(19:35):
Can we please just put the defendant on the stand?
Prosecution, do you object to this hearing being moved along?
No, Your Honor, I do not.
You may step down, Mr. Gray.
Now, do you remember what we talked about?
I've got this. Don't worry.
It's my job to worry.
(19:57):
Well, you can stop then.
Are you ready, counsel?
We are, Your Honor. The defense calls Tina Johnson to the stand.
Please place your left hand on the Bible.
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, in nothing but the truth, so help you God?
(20:20):
I swear.
You may be seated, ma'am.
Please state your name and age for the court.
My name is Tina Freya Johnson, and I'm 41 years old, and my birthday is October 28th.
Can you please describe in detail for us what happened that morning your husband passed?
(20:41):
It was the morning of July 27th. The air was cool and the sheep were loud as normal.
It rained the night before, so the ground was a little slippery.
After making breakfast and cleaning up, my husband and I went outside to do some chores.
My husband went out to feed the animals, and I went to the garden to gather some vegetables for tonight's dinner.
(21:02):
While I was gathering some tomatoes, I saw Morgan going back into the barn.
I assumed that he just ran out of feed, as I saw him coming back out carrying a bag of feed to the sheep trough.
I went back to picking my tomatoes, and then I heard a splash.
Did the splash alarm you?
No. Morgan Wool always threw rocks in the pond. I thought nothing of it.
(21:25):
What happened next?
I finished picking my tomatoes, and I went inside and pulled out some lamb to defrost.
I then started washing the tomatoes.
At this time, were you aware of what happened to Morgan?
Of course not.
Was it normal for him to be outside for long periods of time?
(21:46):
Oh yes. Tending the sheep can sometimes take hours.
What chores would he normally do while tending the sheep?
Besides the feeding, he would check the barn for holes, walk the fence line to make sure that predators couldn't get in,
checking the hooves, shearing, putting out bedding, checking for parasites, preventing basic illnesses, and doing vaccinations.
(22:10):
Then of course there will be the changing of the pastures.
Can you please describe your property?
We have 40 acres and our house is in the middle of the property.
The barn and pond sit to the east of the house, and the pastures are all around the house.
How many pastures do you have set up on the property?
(22:31):
There are four pastures, one on each side of the house.
How often do you change the location of the sheep?
Once a week.
So year round you are surrounded by sheep?
Yes.
How long before you found your husband?
It was about three hours when I went back outside when he didn't come back inside for lunch.
(22:53):
What were you doing inside the house during that time?
I was cleaning the house up, dusting and vacuuming.
Is this something that is a normal routine?
I vacuum every day.
Is this normal to vacuum every day?
I like a clean house.
At any time, did you hear anything unusual?
(23:15):
When I vacuum, it's the only time I don't hear the sound of the bang.
I don't hear a thing except the sound of the vacuum.
Thank you. No more questions, Your Honor.
Thank you. You may step down, Mrs. Johnson.
Counsel, would you please approach the bench?
Prosecution, do you have any hard evidence on this defendant?
(23:41):
No, Your Honor.
It is in my belief that this defendant didn't harm her husband
and is not mentally capable of performing any act of violence
or barely even function in society.
So if there is no evidence, I am going to throw this case out
(24:02):
and dismiss it with no conviction or finding of guilt.
Please return to your tables.
Effective immediately, this case is dismissed
on the grounds that the plaintiff cannot prove his case.
This court is adjourned.
Orez!
(24:24):
I told you I'd be able to get you off.
Thank you.
Now, about that payment.
Ba, ba, ba.
This Montana folklore does sound a little unusual,
and to find out all the details took some time.
The folklore begins with a sheep herder
(24:45):
who had some trouble with the law and hired a lawyer.
The lawyer knew that this would be an open and shut case
and advised the sheep herder to pretend that the defendant
had a bit of the sheep herder's complaint.
Now, I know you're asking yourself,
what the hell is sheep herder's complaint?
(25:06):
And it would be a valid question.
Well, this condition strikes the average sheep herder
who is surrounded by an ever-present bang of sheep
every day, every week, every year, year after year.
And soon the sheep herder begins to talk like the sheep
(25:27):
where their vows sound like the bleeding of a sheep.
Oh, man.
When this particular sheep herder had their day in court,
they followed his lawyer's advice and answered every question
with a mournful bleat like a sheep.
(25:48):
I love this.
The judge threw out the case,
including that the sheep herder was incompetent.
Oh, that was fun, wasn't it?
I love it when that happens.
But now, let's see if we can get washed up
in the nearest bathroom, shall we?
(26:11):
Hey, man, toss me another beer.
Here you go, buddy.
Come on, guys, keep it down.
I'm actually trying to pass here.
So that's a state, man.
They're actually winning, Noah.
Well, they can't lose all the time.
Hey, are you guys watching the game?
Yeah, we're winning.
(26:33):
Guys, they have a game on down here.
I am never going to get AU studying done here.
Hey, can I have one of those beers?
Help yourself.
You want anything to say here?
Yeah, go ahead.
Thanks, man.
What are you reading?
Philosophy.
(26:55):
The only source of knowledge is experience.
Come on, go, go, go, go, go.
Go, go, go.
Nothing but green in front of him.
Touchdown!
Whoo!
Fuck yeah!
That is fucking awesome!
Guys, I have a test on Monday.
Come on.
(27:16):
Dude, come on, man.
This is one time.
Live a little, will you?
Just because you don't understand my life doesn't mean I don't have one.
Bro, no one understands your life.
I don't even know you, and I don't understand you.
A man is known by the silence he keeps.
(27:37):
Hey, where are you going?
I'm going to take a piss.
Is that okay?
Dude, Cooper just went in there.
I'm sick and tired of always having to share a bathroom.
I'm just going to break into the bathroom on the fourth floor.
Hey, hey, don't use that one, man.
Yeah, you haven't heard the stories?
Everyone's heard the stories, man.
(27:58):
I know the stories.
They were probably started by people on the fourth floor so you wouldn't piss on that floor.
You'll be sorry.
Sure, the bathroom has been locked up for decades.
Like, I'm going to believe some story about a drunk who fell and hit his head on the sink and he hemorrhaged to death on the bathroom floor.
(28:21):
Sure, his death was considered a sad accident, but that's no reason to shut a bathroom for decades.
I mean, it happened in the 60s.
It's locked.
Time to test out my lockpicking skills.
Got it.
Now, where's that light switch?
(28:43):
Let there be light.
Oh my gosh, there's blood everywhere.
It's on the walls, it's on the sink, and...
and on the floor. Hello? Hello?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
(29:06):
Theodore Roosevelt said that death is always, under all circumstances, a tragedy.
For if it is not, it means that life has become one.
The ghost in the locked bathroom was wearing 60s style clothing.
Now, there is a location for this legend, and there are not many colleges in Montana.
(29:28):
Maybe it is used as a story to try and keep the students from drinking.
There are some different tellings of the story, but all have the same ending.
The ghost is still in the bathroom.
Maybe it is the reason for the locked bathroom.
Next time you are in a building and find a bathroom that is locked, maybe it is best
not to try and break in, but just go to another one instead.
(29:54):
Montana has a rich history.
There are many tales about lost treasures, and even more stories about the local Native
Americans that used to live on this land.
I'm sorry I couldn't tell you more of those, but some are just not good enough to tell,
and some I don't want to ruin them by telling my version of it.
Maybe since you are here, I'd recommend you go into Langville.
(30:18):
That's if you can find it.
Well, hey, look, I've spent too long here, and I should be getting back to work.
I know he's not happy with me.
I have some time off coming up, so I don't see you again here, albeit Hummel Park.
Hey, I've come here to remove your trash.
(00:20):
Do you have any trash?
What?
Oh wow.
What are the odds that I run into you in your own room?
But this time I surprised you.
And all with your rubber ducky bathrobe too.
(00:40):
Looks like I'm the one laughing in the beginning.
But I'm not here to make fun of your little yellow ducks.
I'm here to take your trash out and just do my job.
Look, look, look, look.
I like it here, alright?
I'm tired of moving all the time.
(01:02):
Oh shit.
Alright, alright, alright.
Fine.
I'll talk to you.
Just don't tell my boss.
(01:26):
I get the feeling he doesn't like me talking to you anyways.
I think that's why he keeps sending me away to these remote locations.
You see, I haven't always been the best servant, but I do try.
Is it my fault that you keep following me?
I don't think so.
I'm sure that when you checked in they welcomed you to Montana and to the Copper King Mansion.
(01:52):
But did you know that some people think that this place is haunted?
Even though no one has ever seen anything.
It's just a feeling.
A feeling multiple people have had.
Maybe even you right now.
(02:13):
Boga boga.
Normally I would tell you stuff about the state, but hey, it's Montana.
It's known as the treasure state, but I never found any treasured here.
Oh well.
And the stories you'll hear, well, it's unknown if they found any either.
(02:33):
I really don't know much about this place.
Sure, I've been here before, but I really didn't talk to many people.
But hey, a state without sales tax can't be too bad, right?
Well, the first story today I'm about to tell you is about a battle.
A battle that many would like to forget on Last Stand Hill.
(03:00):
Honey, I'm going to go powder my nose.
Are you going to be okay?
I'll be fine.
I'll be right here.
So here we are again, Pa.
(03:23):
Hey, Pa, what are those stones for?
Every place there is a stone, it represents where a soldier lost his life.
There sure are a lot of stones.
Some say there were close to 3,000 soldiers here on that day.
That's a lot.
(03:43):
That's the number from both sides, son.
How many soldiers did our side have?
You mean the United States?
Only about 700 men.
Only 700?
That's not a fair fight.
War doesn't care about being fair.
It only cares about who's left behind.
How did they die?
(04:06):
By doing something they should have never done in the first place.
Did they not follow their captain?
He was a general, son.
And that was his problem.
I think his ego got in his way.
It looks like there's writing on these stones.
It's the name of the soldier.
(04:28):
Is the army still like that?
I'm sure that the army has learned not to fight like it did in the past.
Plus, I don't think they use horses still.
When I grow up, I want to be a soldier.
Why is that?
So I can protect you and Ma.
Do we need protection?
(04:48):
Not if I'm a soldier.
The enemy would be too scared to attack.
I bet they would.
You're almost big enough to take me on.
Dad, what's that over there?
That is Last Stand Hill.
Why is it called that?
It's where General Custer fought until he couldn't no more.
(05:10):
Custer's Last Stand.
Do you think it was painful when he died?
I don't know, son.
I don't know.
Was Custer a hero?
Some would think so.
But not everybody.
Do you think all wars are like this?
Like what?
Where people have to die?
(05:32):
Unfortunately, yes.
We see it all too often.
Do you think there will ever be a war where someone doesn't get hurt?
It wouldn't be called a war then.
Oh.
What happened after this battle?
In the end, the U.S. Army was victorious in the war.
(05:54):
But with a great loss of people on both sides.
It's hard to say really if there was a winner.
Why did you want to bring me here, Pa?
People forget history too often, son.
And those that do tend to repeat it.
There were many strategic errors.
(06:14):
Take for instance, the fact that Custer refused to use a battery of Gatling guns.
And that he refused help from another battalion of cavalry.
It just goes to show you that if someone offers you something to aid you, you might want to
reconsider taking it.
I promise I'll do that, Pa.
(06:39):
Are you ready to go, William?
Yes.
What were you doing, dear?
Just having a conversation with my Pa.
How much do you remember about him?
Every detail.
I still remember every detail.
(07:01):
He is always right here with me.
What do you think he did here?
Knowing my father, he fought brave till his last breath.
William, we've been married for 40 years.
And every year we come here.
(07:23):
I've never questioned you.
But I have to know.
Do you find your peace here?
Yeah, I do.
Are you ready to go?
The brave may fall, but never yield.
Okay.
I'm ready.
(07:46):
Let's go.
G.K.
Chesteron wrote,
Fairytales do not tell children that dragons exist.
Children already know that dragons exist.
Fairytales tell children that dragons can be killed.
(08:09):
The Battle of Little Bighorn Site is now a national monument and a cemetery honoring both sides of that dreadful two days.
This place is beyond haunted.
Ghosts of the soldiers who fought here still walk the lands.
Maybe trying to warn the living not to repeat the mistakes or bloodshed that happened on this day.
(08:31):
The ghosts make no efforts in staying hidden, but never cause any harm.
Other than maybe elevating the heart rate.
Oh, man.
There are many stories about General Custer in his last stand, and none of them paint a pleasant picture of that day.
The only good thing that came out of this is that many military officials have studied this battle and learned from the mistakes.
(09:00):
Maybe they haven't learned everything yet, and that's why the ghosts are still here.
They can't leave in peace.
Well, the next leg of our journey is, well, you can say has been framed out of this world.
(09:26):
Sal, what do you think?
It's just a locker room, sir.
It's your first time here, isn't it?
Yes, it is. I only heard stories about it.
What kind of stories?
Just baseball stories, sir.
So nothing good then, huh?
No, sir.
So what are we doing here before the team arrives?
(09:50):
We're just here to check out the facilities.
Oh, I see. So why did you bring me?
I normally bring someone else, but they weren't available today, so I asked you.
There's not much. Check out the locker room, make sure there's running water, benches are intact, and then we go out to the field.
(10:11):
I'll let you check out the latrine, sir.
That's fine. I'm sure you've seen enough just being at ours.
Check out the benches and the lockers, make sure they're all empty for our boys.
And if they're not?
Just throw everything in the trash, unless of course there's some value to it.
Okay, I can do that, sir.
(10:34):
Holy cow, I think we'll leave this door open for a bit.
(10:55):
Water's good.
I found the gift the other team left for us.
Are you almost done? I'm done with the latrine.
Yes, sir. Just a couple more to go.
Did you find anything of value?
No, sir. Just a couple of old socks and dirty towels.
I can never leave anything nice, can I?
(11:16):
I suppose not, sir.
If everything's good here, let's go check out the field.
What do we need to check out there?
We just gotta make sure everything looks legal and that there's no hazards that need to be addressed.
Sir, how am I supposed to know if it's legal?
The umpires will check out the distances between the bases and the pitcher's mound, so you don't have to worry about that.
(11:38):
So what exactly am I checking to see if it's legal?
Just make sure that our boys will be protected. You know that the fans can't do anything to them.
I'm not sure what to look for.
Just make sure that all the gates have locks on them and that the doors and the walls can all close.
Okay, I think I...
(11:59):
Do you see that?
What is that?
Are they floating?
They look more like they're spinning, sir.
I'm gonna go run to the car and go get my camera.
What do you want me to do, sir?
Just stay here. I'll be right back.
Itch.
It's good I parked right next to the gate.
(12:26):
I can't believe I'm gonna get this unfilmed.
I hope they're...
I hope they're still there, whatever they are.
Sir, hurry. I think they're moving.
I can't believe I'm gonna get a film of any of this.
Sir, they are definitely moving.
(12:53):
I was able to get a little bit at least.
How much did you get?
Probably around 20 seconds.
What do you think they were?
I don't know. I know I'm telling someone about this.
What do we do now?
The team will be here in a few moments.
What do we tell them?
Nothing. Keep this between us for now.
(13:15):
We have a game to get ready for.
Will do, sir.
On August 15, 1950, Nick, a general manager of a minor league baseball team,
and his 19-year-old secretary were inspecting the empty baseball field before a game.
Soon, a bright flash caught their eyes, and they saw two rotating objects in the sky.
(13:41):
Nick quickly ran to his car to grab his 16-millimeter movie camera
and filmed the UFOs for 16 seconds.
The following day, the Great Falls Tribune, the local city's newspaper,
described the sightings and noted the film in the article.
The Air Force was brought in and interviewed the witnesses and took the film for analysis.
(14:03):
When the Air Force conducted the study and returned his film to Nick,
there were 35 frames missing.
What were those missing 35 frames?
Why did the Air Force remove those frames?
Today, the film sits in the U.S. National Archives and is still seen today.
Well, the next legend I'm going to tell you is one that, well, how do I say this?
(14:31):
It's one that comes in all shapes and sizes.
May it please Your Honor, Opposing Council, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
(14:55):
I apologize for the lengthy opening statement of the prosecutor,
and I will try to keep this brief.
We all take it for granted, don't we?
I mean, you hold your fingers up to your neck or wrist and you'll find your pulse.
It's always there.
You never in your wildest dreams think that one day it will no longer be there.
(15:22):
Morgan never saw it coming.
He tried his hardest to confront his fears.
But being submerged under water, it all came crashing down around him.
Morgan suffered a heart attack and drowned, according to doctors.
He left behind his loving wife, Tina.
(15:45):
Now, Tina never had a chance to say goodbye to her husband.
She did what she could to deal with the loss of losing Morgan.
She went to grief counseling.
She dealt with her emotions and in time tried to move on with her life.
But she can't do that right now.
(16:07):
And you want to know why?
It's because one morning she finds herself being taken into the police station for questioning.
Accused of murder.
Murder.
She finds herself here today being accused of murdering her husband.
(16:28):
I mean, they had to blame somebody, right?
Who better than a grieving widow, right?
Wrong. Wrong.
You see, ladies and gentlemen, we live in a country that has courts and laws.
You just can't by chance convict someone of murder.
(16:52):
And the prosecution must prove without a doubt that she was the one that murdered her husband.
A woman with no criminal past.
A woman who was married to Morgan for 22 years.
And in 22 years she never thought that she would have to feel the loss of the closest person whom she loved dearly.
(17:18):
There are many stories about who she was and what happened during their life together.
But what you won't hear is motive.
Tina was the last person who wanted her husband dead.
I trust you here today will have an open mind and an open heart.
(17:42):
Thank you.
Sorry I took longer than I thought.
If you're a native, you may call your first witness.
Thank you, Your Honor. The state would like to call Samuel Gray.
Please place your left hand on the Bible.
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?
(18:05):
I swear.
You may be seated.
Mr. Gray, can you please state your name and what you do for the court?
My name is Samuel Gray and I'm the manager at the Food Mart.
Thank you. What is it that you do at the Food Mart besides being the manager?
(18:27):
I'm in charge of all bulk orders.
Is this where you knew the defendant?
Yes. They would come in and buy feed for their sheep.
They, meaning the defendant and the victim.
Objection, Your Honor. Where is this leading?
We're getting to that, Your Honor.
Make it quick, counsel.
(18:48):
Would anything unusual happen while they were buying the feed?
They would yell at each other for buying all the feed.
Yell at each other? Do you know what for?
Speculation, Your Honor.
Answer the question.
They would argue about how much they were buying and why he had to have all the sheep.
(19:12):
Did they argue all the time?
Most of the time. Sometimes it was just Morgan and sometimes it was just Tina.
Thank you. No more questions, Your Honor.
Defense, are you ready to cross-examine?
Your Honor, I have nothing to ask him. This is a waste of time.
(19:35):
Can we please just put the defendant on the stand?
Prosecution, do you object to this hearing being moved along?
No, Your Honor, I do not.
You may step down, Mr. Gray.
Now, do you remember what we talked about?
I've got this. Don't worry.
It's my job to worry.
(19:57):
Well, you can stop then.
Are you ready, counsel?
We are, Your Honor. The defense calls Tina Johnson to the stand.
Please place your left hand on the Bible.
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, in nothing but the truth, so help you God?
(20:20):
I swear.
You may be seated, ma'am.
Please state your name and age for the court.
My name is Tina Freya Johnson, and I'm 41 years old, and my birthday is October 28th.
Can you please describe in detail for us what happened that morning your husband passed?
(20:41):
It was the morning of July 27th. The air was cool and the sheep were loud as normal.
It rained the night before, so the ground was a little slippery.
After making breakfast and cleaning up, my husband and I went outside to do some chores.
My husband went out to feed the animals, and I went to the garden to gather some vegetables for tonight's dinner.
(21:02):
While I was gathering some tomatoes, I saw Morgan going back into the barn.
I assumed that he just ran out of feed, as I saw him coming back out carrying a bag of feed to the sheep trough.
I went back to picking my tomatoes, and then I heard a splash.
Did the splash alarm you?
No. Morgan Wool always threw rocks in the pond. I thought nothing of it.
(21:25):
What happened next?
I finished picking my tomatoes, and I went inside and pulled out some lamb to defrost.
I then started washing the tomatoes.
At this time, were you aware of what happened to Morgan?
Of course not.
Was it normal for him to be outside for long periods of time?
(21:46):
Oh yes. Tending the sheep can sometimes take hours.
What chores would he normally do while tending the sheep?
Besides the feeding, he would check the barn for holes, walk the fence line to make sure that predators couldn't get in,
checking the hooves, shearing, putting out bedding, checking for parasites, preventing basic illnesses, and doing vaccinations.
(22:10):
Then of course there will be the changing of the pastures.
Can you please describe your property?
We have 40 acres and our house is in the middle of the property.
The barn and pond sit to the east of the house, and the pastures are all around the house.
How many pastures do you have set up on the property?
(22:31):
There are four pastures, one on each side of the house.
How often do you change the location of the sheep?
Once a week.
So year round you are surrounded by sheep?
Yes.
How long before you found your husband?
It was about three hours when I went back outside when he didn't come back inside for lunch.
(22:53):
What were you doing inside the house during that time?
I was cleaning the house up, dusting and vacuuming.
Is this something that is a normal routine?
I vacuum every day.
Is this normal to vacuum every day?
I like a clean house.
At any time, did you hear anything unusual?
(23:15):
When I vacuum, it's the only time I don't hear the sound of the bang.
I don't hear a thing except the sound of the vacuum.
Thank you. No more questions, Your Honor.
Thank you. You may step down, Mrs. Johnson.
Counsel, would you please approach the bench?
Prosecution, do you have any hard evidence on this defendant?
(23:41):
No, Your Honor.
It is in my belief that this defendant didn't harm her husband
and is not mentally capable of performing any act of violence
or barely even function in society.
So if there is no evidence, I am going to throw this case out
(24:02):
and dismiss it with no conviction or finding of guilt.
Please return to your tables.
Effective immediately, this case is dismissed
on the grounds that the plaintiff cannot prove his case.
This court is adjourned.
Orez!
(24:24):
I told you I'd be able to get you off.
Thank you.
Now, about that payment.
Ba, ba, ba.
This Montana folklore does sound a little unusual,
and to find out all the details took some time.
The folklore begins with a sheep herder
(24:45):
who had some trouble with the law and hired a lawyer.
The lawyer knew that this would be an open and shut case
and advised the sheep herder to pretend that the defendant
had a bit of the sheep herder's complaint.
Now, I know you're asking yourself,
what the hell is sheep herder's complaint?
(25:06):
And it would be a valid question.
Well, this condition strikes the average sheep herder
who is surrounded by an ever-present bang of sheep
every day, every week, every year, year after year.
And soon the sheep herder begins to talk like the sheep
(25:27):
where their vows sound like the bleeding of a sheep.
Oh, man.
When this particular sheep herder had their day in court,
they followed his lawyer's advice and answered every question
with a mournful bleat like a sheep.
(25:48):
I love this.
The judge threw out the case,
including that the sheep herder was incompetent.
Oh, that was fun, wasn't it?
I love it when that happens.
But now, let's see if we can get washed up
in the nearest bathroom, shall we?
(26:11):
Hey, man, toss me another beer.
Here you go, buddy.
Come on, guys, keep it down.
I'm actually trying to pass here.
So that's a state, man.
They're actually winning, Noah.
Well, they can't lose all the time.
Hey, are you guys watching the game?
Yeah, we're winning.
(26:33):
Guys, they have a game on down here.
I am never going to get AU studying done here.
Hey, can I have one of those beers?
Help yourself.
You want anything to say here?
Yeah, go ahead.
Thanks, man.
What are you reading?
Philosophy.
(26:55):
The only source of knowledge is experience.
Come on, go, go, go, go, go.
Go, go, go.
Nothing but green in front of him.
Touchdown!
Whoo!
Fuck yeah!
That is fucking awesome!
Guys, I have a test on Monday.
Come on.
(27:16):
Dude, come on, man.
This is one time.
Live a little, will you?
Just because you don't understand my life doesn't mean I don't have one.
Bro, no one understands your life.
I don't even know you, and I don't understand you.
A man is known by the silence he keeps.
(27:37):
Hey, where are you going?
I'm going to take a piss.
Is that okay?
Dude, Cooper just went in there.
I'm sick and tired of always having to share a bathroom.
I'm just going to break into the bathroom on the fourth floor.
Hey, hey, don't use that one, man.
Yeah, you haven't heard the stories?
Everyone's heard the stories, man.
(27:58):
I know the stories.
They were probably started by people on the fourth floor so you wouldn't piss on that floor.
You'll be sorry.
Sure, the bathroom has been locked up for decades.
Like, I'm going to believe some story about a drunk who fell and hit his head on the sink and he hemorrhaged to death on the bathroom floor.
(28:21):
Sure, his death was considered a sad accident, but that's no reason to shut a bathroom for decades.
I mean, it happened in the 60s.
It's locked.
Time to test out my lockpicking skills.
Got it.
Now, where's that light switch?
(28:43):
Let there be light.
Oh my gosh, there's blood everywhere.
It's on the walls, it's on the sink, and...
and on the floor. Hello? Hello?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
(29:06):
Theodore Roosevelt said that death is always, under all circumstances, a tragedy.
For if it is not, it means that life has become one.
The ghost in the locked bathroom was wearing 60s style clothing.
Now, there is a location for this legend, and there are not many colleges in Montana.
(29:28):
Maybe it is used as a story to try and keep the students from drinking.
There are some different tellings of the story, but all have the same ending.
The ghost is still in the bathroom.
Maybe it is the reason for the locked bathroom.
Next time you are in a building and find a bathroom that is locked, maybe it is best
not to try and break in, but just go to another one instead.
(29:54):
Montana has a rich history.
There are many tales about lost treasures, and even more stories about the local Native
Americans that used to live on this land.
I'm sorry I couldn't tell you more of those, but some are just not good enough to tell,
and some I don't want to ruin them by telling my version of it.
Maybe since you are here, I'd recommend you go into Langville.
(30:18):
That's if you can find it.
Well, hey, look, I've spent too long here, and I should be getting back to work.
I know he's not happy with me.
I have some time off coming up, so I don't see you again here, albeit Hummel Park.
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