Welcome to Tales from the Janitor - a journey into the unknown, where your enigmatic custodial guide leads you through a series of eerie, captivating stories from the shadowed corners of America’s haunted landscapes. As we traverse these forgotten realms, be prepared to encounter the strange, the inexplicable, and the unsettling. While Tales from the Janitor will always remain free for all who seek the thrill of these tales, creating each episode demands considerable time and resources. We kindly ask that you consider leaving a rating or review, sharing this experience with others, or, if you are able, making a donation to ensure the continuation of this eerie exploration. We thank you for your support, and for joining us on this journey into the unknown.
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Stories
The Legend of Ruth Colbath
Hauntings of Archers Pond
Mary
The Devil Monkeys
Credits
Director - Gems
Developed, Created and Stories by Steve Lloyd
Script by Steve Lloyd
Written by - Steve Lloyd
Assistant Writers - Stuart Tudor, Jeremy Tucker and Mirm Hurula
Script Writer - Jon DeBenedict
Script Editor - Gems
Executive Producer - Steve Lloyd
Editor - Steve Lloyd
Sound Design - Steve Lloyd
Starring - Jeremy Tucker as the Janitor
Cast
Reverend - SockX
Thomas - Robert J. Butcher
Dorothy - Loretta Chang
Emmett - Jon DeBenedict
Connor - M.W,R
Captain - Matt Lovell
First Mate - Alexander Zhai
Survivor - Jon DeBenedict
Survivor 2 - Hans Cummings
Woman - Tricia Nguyen
Firefighter - The Mad Daddy
Chief - Dan Spitaliere
Artwork by Joseph E.W.
Ending Song - Honey by Peter Conway
Copyright - Tales from the Janitor 2025
🪦 DISCLAIMER: LISTENERS BEWARE… AND BRING A MOP 🪦
Welcome to "Tales from the Janitor", the only show where history’s darkest secrets get swept under the rug—until now.
This episode takes place in New Hampshire, home to quaint towns, scenic forests, and things in the woods that definitely aren't wildlife. If you hear whispers in the trees, it's probably the wind. If something knocks on your door at 3 AM… well, that’s between you and whatever lives in your attic.
This audio drama contains chilling urban legends, historical oddities, and unsettling events that may cause involuntary shivering, suspicious glances at janitors, and an overwhelming urge to salt your doorstep.
If at any point your lights flicker, or your reflection smiles when you don’t… that's not part of the show.
You’ve been warned. Now, grab a mop—because some messes don’t stay buried. 🕯️👁️
#horror #haunted #ghosts
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Uh, sure thing boss.
(00:02):
I'll clean up your mess.
No, no.
It's not a problem at all.
It's not like I'm getting raided by the FBI.
But then again, this was better than being in the most haunted place in the state.
Yeah, uh huh.
I get scared, but it's okay boss.
(00:26):
Ah! Holy mother bacon beans!
Are you freaking crazy sneaking up on me like that?
It's bad enough I'm here cleaning up after my boss's mess.
Hey, hey, don't sit over there.
There's blood everywhere.
Here, use this black light and find a clean spot if you absolutely need to sit.
(00:50):
My goodness.
I think there's some areas over there.
Look, I'm sorry.
Usually by the time you get here I have most of the mess cleaned up.
But, uh, I think I've said too much.
Anyway, I'm glad you found me in New Hampshire.
The live free or die state.
(01:13):
In fact, the first shots of the revolution were fired in this state.
Actually, come to think of it, this state has had many firsts.
Did you know that the first potato was grown right here in New Hampshire?
The first college athletic event, the transatlantic telecommunications cable,
(01:34):
the first man in space, the first credit union, and even the first video game.
All started in this little state.
Plus so many other firsts, like the first recycling center,
the first LED traffic light, and even the first state to recognize same-sex unions.
(01:57):
This little state has had some major historical events.
I wonder what else could happen here.
Look, I need a break anyway, so let me tell you some stories about this place.
The first one, unfortunately, could still happen today.
I am, of course, talking about the legend of Ruth Colbeth.
(02:22):
I want to take a moment and thank you all for being here today
to celebrate the life of Miss Colbeth, an honest and pleasant woman who lived among us.
She is survived by her two daughters, Barbara and Dorothy.
Now before the giggle juices pour out and we all start bumping gums,
(02:48):
I would like to say, Grave.
Grace, Father, we honor your name in memory of our deceased sister,
who lived her life following your will.
We pray that she will be able to rest in peace and receive the eternal life
that your son gave while dying on the cross.
(03:09):
Let your angels touch the hardened hearts of those who remain
and be with them as they await joy.
Let your glorious power give eternal rest to the soul of Ruth.
Let perpetual light shine upon the souls of the faithful departed.
(03:31):
Let eternal rest be granted to them, O Lord God.
Cover her with your brightness so that she may rest in peace like all the saints in heaven.
Lord, grant mercy over all the faithful followers of your name
while your divine providence guides us on the path ahead of our individual lives.
(03:57):
Now Lord, please bless this bounty we are about to receive as we remember the life of Ruth
and celebrate her life in your honor. Amen.
Thank you, Reverend, for that wonderful prayer.
It was an honor, Miss Dorothy.
Your mother was a valuable asset to the congregation.
(04:18):
She would always hug everyone when they came into the service,
and she was always lending a helping hand to those in need around the community.
She will be missed greatly, indeed.
Please don't think about the time of her demise, but instead let us celebrate her life.
(04:39):
I will attempt to do such things, but many of these last few days have already been a struggle for me.
Then on those days, child, pray extra hard to the Lord,
and He will give you the strength in those moments to forget the struggle,
and all praise will be given to the Almighty Lord. Amen.
Amen. Thank you, Reverend, for those encouraging words.
(05:03):
Now if you can pardon me, I must take my leave of you
and get some of this fine cooking that your sister has provided for the congregation.
Oh, please do, Reverend, and I apologize for keeping you.
You have nothing to apologize for. It's always a pleasure to talk with you.
And remember, don't ever lose your character,
(05:24):
for when you do that, you lose everything.
I will, Reverend.
Excuse me, sir, but are you having a pleasant time?
I'm just checking in with folks in the congregation, and I see that you are sitting alone.
Do you mind if I join you?
Oh, please do sit down.
(05:48):
You are Dorothy, right?
Yes, I am. Excuse me, I don't know if I know you, but it feels like I should.
I am so sorry if that sounds odd.
Not at all, dear. My name is Thomas.
(06:14):
That was my father's name.
I know.
Did you know my father?
You could say that I do.
Did you know my mother well, then?
I knew her quite well.
I knew you as well, but the last time I saw you, you couldn't have been more than six or seven years old.
(06:47):
I'm sorry that I don't remember you, Mr. Thomas.
You were young. I wouldn't expect you to remember me.
How exactly did you know my mother?
I grew up around the corner from her, and we went to school together.
(07:11):
She was a year younger than me, but we spent a lot of time together.
I'm really sorry. She must have been a good friend of yours.
For many years, we were best friends.
(07:32):
She always knew how to make me laugh.
May I ask why you two drifted apart?
We didn't drift apart. I left.
(07:53):
Why did you leave?
I'm sorry if I'm being so forward. It's just nice to meet friends of my mother's that I wasn't aware of.
It's like filling in missing pieces of her life that I don't know.
It's okay. My story needs to be told. And to you.
(08:20):
You see, your mother and I were more than just friends. We were in love.
I don't understand. If you were in love, why did you leave?
Dorothy, what I'm about to tell you may shock you. So I apologize for that.
(08:49):
Sir, I wonder if we shouldn't discuss this at another time. There are other guests I should conversate with as well.
This is no time like the present. And I've been holding on to this story for too many years.
(09:11):
If I don't tell you now, I don't know if I ever will.
Then why did you choose to wait till now? And why here?
I made a promise to myself. In your mother's name, that I would tell you one day. So now I'm here to tell you that story.
(09:42):
Okay. I'm listening.
The year was 1891. It was a normal, beautiful day. And not a cloud was in sight.
Your mother and I were in the yard. And I told her that I had to run some errands.
(10:04):
I had to go into town and get some things and talk to some people that I had to collect payments from, who had bought our produce.
I headed out into the woods where the first person I had to see was.
(10:26):
I got to his place, collected the money, and headed out to the next location. At this time, a heavy fog rolled in.
And it was hard to see among the trees. But I still proceeded on.
At one point, I slipped on the moss and slid down a hill. I must have hit my head, because when I came to, it was dark outside.
(11:00):
I saw a light in the woods and headed towards it. I didn't know the couple that stayed there, but they allowed me to sleep in the barn until morning.
When I woke, I headed in what I thought was the right direction to get back home. I walked for hours and walked past many homes.
(11:30):
But I never got home. To this day, I've never been able to find my way home.
Are you mine, Father?
Yes, I am, Dorothy. And Barbara's too.
(11:52):
What took you so long to come back?
I got lost. And I was too embarrassed to return home.
It's been forty years. You know that Mother never remarried. She always told us that you would come back. I guess she was right.
(12:24):
Your mother was always a hopeless romantic.
Oh, and you are a prime example of man's inability to ask for directions.
(12:45):
An example that many other men will continue to follow, I fear.
Would you like to go home, Dad?
I wouldn't know it anymore. For all I know, I've gone past it a hundred times without even realizing.
(13:15):
What are you going to do now that you've found us again?
I don't know. But I'm hoping that I don't get lost ever again.
You won't, Father. I will make sure you always find your way back home. I'll be sure to leave a light on so you can see it on foggy nights.
(13:48):
Thank you, darling. But your mother did the same thing.
Towards the end of the 19th century, Ruth and Thomas Colback lived happily in Carroll County, New Hampshire. On a normal day in 1891, Thomas left the homestead to do some errands and never returned.
(14:21):
For 39 long years, Ruth faithfully waited for her husband to return as any hopeless romantic would, always leaving a lantern lit outside for him to find his way home.
So beautiful. Ruth passed away in 1930, never having the reunion she had so patiently hoped for. Thomas casually returned one day, unharmed and seemingly not having to be detained in any way, claiming that he was just too embarrassed to return home and got lost.
(15:00):
It is easier now with GPS and cell phones at everyone's side. But I still see a few males never asking for directions, even if they had a great woman to go home to. On behalf of all men, I apologize.
(15:21):
Ladies, some of us struggle with directions. Not me though, no. For our next tale, I hope that you don't lose your head, as we're staying in the same county. Let's go to Archer's Fun!
(15:45):
Hey, you catch anything yet? Nah, the fish don't seem to be wanting what I'm offering today. I'm not even gonna respond to that. Man, you know what I meant. Fish ain't biting.
I do, but there was probably a better way you could have phrased that. Whatever, I'm switching the bait. Now that's actually a good idea for once.
(16:10):
Yeah, yeah. How long you wanna spend out here? I got nothing to do today, so we can stay until dark if you want.
Hey, Connor. Thanks again for coming out here with me at the last moment. It's a little harder since you and Quinn had the kid.
She has a name, you know. Sorry, since you and Quinn had Madison.
(16:37):
You know, you could just stop by. We could always hang out and watch TV like we used to. The TV still works, you know. And it even works to put Madison to sleep sometimes.
Yeah, I know, man. It's not the same though. Maybe you could try getting a girl yourself one day?
(17:00):
I doubt that's going to happen any time soon. Why? You have a good job, you make money, you're in shape, you have a nice house. Tell me, what's not to love?
Women don't seem to like me much. Maybe it's my personality. You just need to relax a bit more around them. Be confident.
(17:21):
That's the problem. I always forget, and I guess I end up being stiff. What about asking Morgan to be your wingman? He always seems to be good with the ladies.
Yeah, that's not what I need. I would tell him that I like the girl. He would start talking to her, and next thing I know, he's the one leaving me alone to the bar while he's going home with the girl.
(17:48):
Well, hopefully she had a friend.
Yeah, it absolutely never goes wrong... with a friend.
What about, um, oh shit, what's her name? Veronica? Was she the girl you were going to marry if you were still single at 30?
(18:12):
Veronica? Wow, that's a name I haven't heard in a long time. Yeah, she has lived a pretty wild life last I heard. We made that pact when we were 19 and going to college together.
Okay, so, what happened to her? Well, let's see. She got married at 24, got divorced at 25, got pregnant at 26, married again at 28, and got divorced by 30.
(18:49):
And during this time, she dropped out of college, went back to college, completed her associates, got arrested for possession of marijuana, and is currently fighting a custody battle for her kid with the dad.
So, when is the wedding? Quinn and I will have to make room in our calendar for it, so you gotta give us a heads up.
(19:13):
Man, there's no way.
At least you know she has a wild side.
I don't want to get involved in that mess. Just too much for me.
You went to that mess 10 years ago.
That was before. I was a dumb teenager back then.
(19:34):
So, what's changed since then, other than your age?
Not that much, I guess.
I think you just have bad luck. You break a mirror recently, walk past a black cat, tip over salt and sugar, walk under a ladder.
Aha, that's not what I needed to hear.
I was talking about the fish. I can't help you with the women.
(19:57):
Wait, doesn't Quinn have a sister?
You know she's 40, right? We just went to her birthday party.
Is she single?
Trust me, you don't want that.
(20:19):
Is it me, or is it just getting really cold out here?
Connor?
Connor!
Look over at the bank.
Is that? Um, you know.
A ghost?
(20:40):
Yeah, that's the word.
Emmett, look over by the dock.
Is that another one? Do you think that's Polly?
I never thought those stories were true.
Neither did I until now.
Get your line in.
Where are you going?
Away from here.
(21:02):
So, you think the girls would like me more since I saw a ghost?
I'm a survivor with a story now.
You never give up, do you?
Maybe you could introduce me to Quinn's sister. Tell me about her.
Fine, she's just alright. I think she's a manager at a job.
I've never been married that I knew. She is smart, outgoing, and focused on fish and fish.
(21:30):
The hauntings of Archer's Pond and the forest it surrounded ranged from plague death to misguided teenage love.
But one of the stories I really like is the tale of Polly.
Polly lived in the woods with her husband where they struggled to survive both the elements and their poverty.
(21:51):
Polly longed to buy a new pair of boots to protect herself from the snow and ice and that rocky terrain.
Her husband refused as they barely had enough funds to stay alive.
Despite her husband's protest, Polly went and got the shoes, and when her husband found out she was brutally decapitated by his acts.
(22:13):
One week passed and he was so over-struck with guilt that he hung himself.
Oh boy!
Legend states that the ghosts of the couple roamed the woods and around the pond, never finding eternal rest.
I think we should stay on the water for our next story. What do you say to that, matey?
(22:53):
The ship is on land! Claim the vessel! Prepare to board the ship!
Boom about!
(23:14):
The ship!
This be the one! You see the colors?
Aye, Captain. Just like you said.
Come about!
No prey to pay, mateys.
Run a shot across the bow!
(23:38):
We're close to the American main, Captain.
Run another shot across the bow!
Avast, shee, matey! There be a lassie aboard this ship!
(23:59):
Aye, Captain. They may be running a rig.
Find ye oar, and me find ye lass. Board the vessel.
Aye, aye, Captain.
(24:24):
Please, sir, spare our lives, as we are honorable, God-feeling people.
There is no honor in the scurvy, briny deep. Your creator has no influence here.
I shall give thee what thou shalt want.
Belay? Ah, to spend the night and crack Jenny's teacup.
(24:48):
I know where the booty be laid.
There is always booty to be laid, Scallywag.
I know where the true treasure be laid.
I have always thought he runneth his mouth, me lord.
We shall see if he runneth his mouth or no. Where be the lass, me hearties?
(25:13):
Avast! Where be the lassie?
She be in the foc'sle. The Captain be in there with her.
Take me to the oar. I shall grant ye quarter. Savvy?
I understand. Follow me.
Furl the sails. Prepare to dance the hempen jig.
(25:35):
Choffey?
Dead men tell no tale.
Parley!
Aye, matey. When me return from the oar, we parley.
(25:56):
Down the hall!
Lead the way, sea dog.
The woman and child be right through those doors.
Open thee doors.
There be the horse.
(26:18):
Don't be frightened. I will bring thee no harm.
Spare me. Spare my child.
Bring me the lass.
(26:40):
Aye, aye, Captain.
Please, mister. Please. I beseech you. Please. I don't have anyone else. Please, mister.
(27:01):
Who be your companion?
He be lifeless. He died at sea.
This be genuine?
God rest his soul. He died two fortnight ago.
A child cannot be raised without a father. What shall we do?
(27:26):
Please, mister. Please. Spare my offspring.
Abast ye whore. I am not sending your offspring to Davy Jones' locker.
(27:50):
Then what shall thou request of me?
That the name of ye lassie shall be Mary, after me mother.
And I shall spare all the souls on board.
Yes, yes. The child shall be named Mary.
(28:19):
I shall honor your mother's epithet.
I want ye to accept the role of green silk, for thee to fashion a matrimony dress for Mary, when she is of age.
And what of the rest of us?
(28:43):
Ye shall abandon ship, and we shall take you to London, Barry. And we be never seen each other again.
We have a letter of Mark, Sally.
(29:05):
And none of us shall perish?
Ye have me word. None of ye shall see Davy Jones' locker today. To go on account ye may.
Prepare to weigh anchor.
(29:29):
What about the man and his pearly?
Blow the man down, or make sure no one sees.
Aye, aye, captain.
Get the emerald ready to sail. We be taking all leave speedily.
Aye, aye, captain.
Captain?
(29:50):
Ye.
I like the name Mary.
Ah, it shall be a good name.
Splice the main brace, sea dogs. Prepare to set sail.
(30:26):
Mary, I shall remember thee always.
Ocean-born Mary was a woman named Mary Wallace. Born to Scotch Irish immigrants in 1720, she led a normal life, albeit her not-so-normal birth.
(30:56):
From the legends you just heard, you know that she was born at sea, and at the same time pirates attacked the ship.
The pirate captain, hearing the newborn's cry of life, stopped his attack and spared the newborn.
He stated that everyone would live if the mother named the child Mary, and of course, the mother agreed.
(31:18):
Mary grew up in Londonderry, where she got married and did wear the dress.
She had five children and told her stories to Mr. Roy, who later spun the tales into hauntings and legends.
Galileo once said, all truths are easy to understand once you discover them. The goal is to discover them.
(31:42):
Speaking of discovery, let's take a trip to Danville, huh? Maybe we could share some chocolate chip cookies.
Here we go!
So Chief, what are you going to do tonight?
(32:05):
Well, as soon as we park the engines, I'm going to take a long hot shower, eat that chili Dicky made before we were dispatched, and catch up on some needed paperwork.
Well, after we clean up, the rest of us are heading over to the Hens House.
All of you?
Well, most of us. Davis isn't going. Something about needing to get home to his wife.
(32:30):
She did just have a baby two weeks ago. That's a good reason.
We know. Still doesn't mean he can't have a beer with us sometimes. His firefighter brothers.
You've never been married before, have you?
I tried at once. It didn't work out so well.
What happened?
I fucked another girl.
(32:52):
That's not the story Dicky told me.
Oh yeah? What did he tell you?
That it wasn't one, but actually multiple women.
Haha. Oh man.
So I'm guessing that it's true.
Yeah. That was a good night.
Sounds like it. And I can definitely see why you're not ready for marriage yet.
(33:18):
Yeah, you got me there.
If you come to the bar with us, I can tell you more about that night.
Uh, no. I don't need to hear the story. I think I already got a clear picture. But maybe you could buy me a beer?
Alright. Sounds like a deal.
Hey Paulie, start filling those buckets. Nathan, clean those hoses. Hey Chief.
(33:43):
You better not be giving me a job.
Nah, just a request.
Yeah, what's that?
Nah, just save some hot water for the rest of us, will ya?
I'll think about it.
Thanks Chief.
Nathan! Get on those hoses!
(34:10):
This shower's gonna feel so damn good.
I can't believe that accident.
What a shame about that family.
Damn, that water's so cold.
(34:31):
Come on guys, hurry it up. It's ladies night. I want to get to the bar before all the pretty ones are taken.
I wonder if he's ever gonna settle down.
Oh, that reminds me. I need to get Sarah a gift before this weekend. She'd kill me if I forget her anniversary again.
(34:59):
That feels good.
Lord, no matter how many of these I take, it never washes away the pain.
You know what I've seen? The horrors I've witnessed. The burned bodies. The damn smell.
(35:27):
I'm glad others haven't seen what I've seen.
It's one thing to hear about your family's death, but it's another to see it.
Oh god, that little girl died in my arms today.
(35:50):
I pray. I pray she's with you.
I pray she's in no more pain. I pray that she's with her entire family.
(36:12):
Up there with you.
Hey Chief, you saving any hot water for the rest of us?
Huh?
Yeah, yeah. Sorry, just finishing up. It's all yours, Ben.
About time. There better be some hot water left.
(36:43):
Come on boys, time to wash those hoses.
Do you really have to say that every time?
Sir, if you dance with the devil enough times, the devil's not the one who changes. He changes you.
You know, a good Sunday service will help you with that.
Yeah, I tried that once. Honestly, didn't stick.
(37:08):
Well, you know there's always time to try again.
Chief, with all due respect, religion and marriage are the same for me. Some things just aren't meant for me.
Go get cleaned up. I gotta start on this report. No time for chilly tonight.
Yeah, you go do the boring stuff.
(37:31):
You know Adam, one of these days you might actually want to get promoted.
Yeah, maybe, but today is not that day, Chief.
(38:01):
I am too old for this shit.
But he is a damn good firefighter.
Good with the men too.
Damn, the engines look good.
One of these days he should be the one leading these men.
(38:29):
Good smoke tastes so good.
I know I told Mary I'd stop, but after what I just saw, she can't blame me, can she?
Oh well, if these don't kill me, the job soon will.
(38:50):
Alright, time to do the reports.
Sounds like some stupid dogs are at least having fun tonight.
What the fuck was that? Is that a monkey?
(39:11):
Hey Chief, you alright?
Yeah, no, I swear I just saw a huge monkey running by.
A monkey? You feeling alright?
Yeah, just a long night I guess.
(39:34):
Hurry up and finish your report so you can come out with us. I think you need it.
I think you're right.
Give me 30 minutes, go on without me. I'll meet you guys there.
We can wait. We go together. We're a team, right? I mean that's what you always say.
(39:56):
Thank you, but it'll be quicker without all the distractions. You guys go ahead. I'll meet you at Hen's house.
You sure, Chief?
Yeah. Go. I'll catch up.
Alright. I learned a long time ago not to argue with the boss.
Come on guys, let's go.
(40:17):
Hey Chief, if you see another monkey, you might want to go talk to somebody.
Maybe your God will help you out of this one. Maybe he'll help you make friends with them.
He will. He will.
You have fun. Save me some beer.
(40:38):
Oh, like you saved us some hot water.
We'll try, Chief. We will try.
Alright, let's get back to work.
(41:01):
The Devil's Monkeys have been around Danville since the 1930s. These primate-like creatures are said to be similar to baboons, but much larger, faster, and a hell of a lot meaner.
They're described as being eight feet tall with large feet and fully-haired bodies. Reminds me of Mom.
(41:25):
The Devil Monkeys are said to be powerful enough to cross a field with just a few leaps.
They attack their victims by tearing with their razor-sharp claws or biting with their sharp teeth.
They go for the soft areas like the belly or face to bring down their prey.
Sightings around 2001 were so popular that for a span of a couple of weeks, the town went into panic.
(41:53):
Even the local fire captain spotted one. Whoa!
Parents refused to let their children outside, and many search parties were sent out to search for the beasts.
But nothing was ever found.
Finally, the town returned to normal. Well, for the most part anyway.
(42:14):
People think that the creature moved on to a more remote area in the mountains, but I suppose we'll never know for sure.
Unless you want to go find out for yourself.
New Hampshire is an interesting state for all to enjoy no matter what you're into.
But I need to finish cleaning this place up before I move on to my next job.
(42:40):
I think I'll be going to the Paranormal Museum.
I need to do a little research on how to remove, uh, um, uh, something.
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
(43:11):
I'm gonna walk around tell me why you're out of town everything you feel for tell me what you're open to walk past the road
I'm gonna hold
Oh
(44:25):
I'm never gonna come down
No, never no, never come down
No, never come down
(44:50):
Holiday
Holiday
Holiday
Holiday
Holiday
Uh, sure thing boss.
(00:02):
I'll clean up your mess.
No, no.
It's not a problem at all.
It's not like I'm getting raided by the FBI.
But then again, this was better than being in the most haunted place in the state.
Yeah, uh huh.
I get scared, but it's okay boss.
(00:26):
Ah! Holy mother bacon beans!
Are you freaking crazy sneaking up on me like that?
It's bad enough I'm here cleaning up after my boss's mess.
Hey, hey, don't sit over there.
There's blood everywhere.
Here, use this black light and find a clean spot if you absolutely need to sit.
(00:50):
My goodness.
I think there's some areas over there.
Look, I'm sorry.
Usually by the time you get here I have most of the mess cleaned up.
But, uh, I think I've said too much.
Anyway, I'm glad you found me in New Hampshire.
The live free or die state.
(01:13):
In fact, the first shots of the revolution were fired in this state.
Actually, come to think of it, this state has had many firsts.
Did you know that the first potato was grown right here in New Hampshire?
The first college athletic event, the transatlantic telecommunications cable,
(01:34):
the first man in space, the first credit union, and even the first video game.
All started in this little state.
Plus so many other firsts, like the first recycling center,
the first LED traffic light, and even the first state to recognize same-sex unions.
(01:57):
This little state has had some major historical events.
I wonder what else could happen here.
Look, I need a break anyway, so let me tell you some stories about this place.
The first one, unfortunately, could still happen today.
I am, of course, talking about the legend of Ruth Colbeth.
(02:22):
I want to take a moment and thank you all for being here today
to celebrate the life of Miss Colbeth, an honest and pleasant woman who lived among us.
She is survived by her two daughters, Barbara and Dorothy.
Now before the giggle juices pour out and we all start bumping gums,
(02:48):
I would like to say, Grave.
Grace, Father, we honor your name in memory of our deceased sister,
who lived her life following your will.
We pray that she will be able to rest in peace and receive the eternal life
that your son gave while dying on the cross.
(03:09):
Let your angels touch the hardened hearts of those who remain
and be with them as they await joy.
Let your glorious power give eternal rest to the soul of Ruth.
Let perpetual light shine upon the souls of the faithful departed.
(03:31):
Let eternal rest be granted to them, O Lord God.
Cover her with your brightness so that she may rest in peace like all the saints in heaven.
Lord, grant mercy over all the faithful followers of your name
while your divine providence guides us on the path ahead of our individual lives.
(03:57):
Now Lord, please bless this bounty we are about to receive as we remember the life of Ruth
and celebrate her life in your honor. Amen.
Thank you, Reverend, for that wonderful prayer.
It was an honor, Miss Dorothy.
Your mother was a valuable asset to the congregation.
(04:18):
She would always hug everyone when they came into the service,
and she was always lending a helping hand to those in need around the community.
She will be missed greatly, indeed.
Please don't think about the time of her demise, but instead let us celebrate her life.
(04:39):
I will attempt to do such things, but many of these last few days have already been a struggle for me.
Then on those days, child, pray extra hard to the Lord,
and He will give you the strength in those moments to forget the struggle,
and all praise will be given to the Almighty Lord. Amen.
Amen. Thank you, Reverend, for those encouraging words.
(05:03):
Now if you can pardon me, I must take my leave of you
and get some of this fine cooking that your sister has provided for the congregation.
Oh, please do, Reverend, and I apologize for keeping you.
You have nothing to apologize for. It's always a pleasure to talk with you.
And remember, don't ever lose your character,
(05:24):
for when you do that, you lose everything.
I will, Reverend.
Excuse me, sir, but are you having a pleasant time?
I'm just checking in with folks in the congregation, and I see that you are sitting alone.
Do you mind if I join you?
Oh, please do sit down.
(05:48):
You are Dorothy, right?
Yes, I am. Excuse me, I don't know if I know you, but it feels like I should.
I am so sorry if that sounds odd.
Not at all, dear. My name is Thomas.
(06:14):
That was my father's name.
I know.
Did you know my father?
You could say that I do.
Did you know my mother well, then?
I knew her quite well.
I knew you as well, but the last time I saw you, you couldn't have been more than six or seven years old.
(06:47):
I'm sorry that I don't remember you, Mr. Thomas.
You were young. I wouldn't expect you to remember me.
How exactly did you know my mother?
I grew up around the corner from her, and we went to school together.
(07:11):
She was a year younger than me, but we spent a lot of time together.
I'm really sorry. She must have been a good friend of yours.
For many years, we were best friends.
(07:32):
She always knew how to make me laugh.
May I ask why you two drifted apart?
We didn't drift apart. I left.
(07:53):
Why did you leave?
I'm sorry if I'm being so forward. It's just nice to meet friends of my mother's that I wasn't aware of.
It's like filling in missing pieces of her life that I don't know.
It's okay. My story needs to be told. And to you.
(08:20):
You see, your mother and I were more than just friends. We were in love.
I don't understand. If you were in love, why did you leave?
Dorothy, what I'm about to tell you may shock you. So I apologize for that.
(08:49):
Sir, I wonder if we shouldn't discuss this at another time. There are other guests I should conversate with as well.
This is no time like the present. And I've been holding on to this story for too many years.
(09:11):
If I don't tell you now, I don't know if I ever will.
Then why did you choose to wait till now? And why here?
I made a promise to myself. In your mother's name, that I would tell you one day. So now I'm here to tell you that story.
(09:42):
Okay. I'm listening.
The year was 1891. It was a normal, beautiful day. And not a cloud was in sight.
Your mother and I were in the yard. And I told her that I had to run some errands.
(10:04):
I had to go into town and get some things and talk to some people that I had to collect payments from, who had bought our produce.
I headed out into the woods where the first person I had to see was.
(10:26):
I got to his place, collected the money, and headed out to the next location. At this time, a heavy fog rolled in.
And it was hard to see among the trees. But I still proceeded on.
At one point, I slipped on the moss and slid down a hill. I must have hit my head, because when I came to, it was dark outside.
(11:00):
I saw a light in the woods and headed towards it. I didn't know the couple that stayed there, but they allowed me to sleep in the barn until morning.
When I woke, I headed in what I thought was the right direction to get back home. I walked for hours and walked past many homes.
(11:30):
But I never got home. To this day, I've never been able to find my way home.
Are you mine, Father?
Yes, I am, Dorothy. And Barbara's too.
(11:52):
What took you so long to come back?
I got lost. And I was too embarrassed to return home.
It's been forty years. You know that Mother never remarried. She always told us that you would come back. I guess she was right.
(12:24):
Your mother was always a hopeless romantic.
Oh, and you are a prime example of man's inability to ask for directions.
(12:45):
An example that many other men will continue to follow, I fear.
Would you like to go home, Dad?
I wouldn't know it anymore. For all I know, I've gone past it a hundred times without even realizing.
(13:15):
What are you going to do now that you've found us again?
I don't know. But I'm hoping that I don't get lost ever again.
You won't, Father. I will make sure you always find your way back home. I'll be sure to leave a light on so you can see it on foggy nights.
(13:48):
Thank you, darling. But your mother did the same thing.
Towards the end of the 19th century, Ruth and Thomas Colback lived happily in Carroll County, New Hampshire. On a normal day in 1891, Thomas left the homestead to do some errands and never returned.
(14:21):
For 39 long years, Ruth faithfully waited for her husband to return as any hopeless romantic would, always leaving a lantern lit outside for him to find his way home.
So beautiful. Ruth passed away in 1930, never having the reunion she had so patiently hoped for. Thomas casually returned one day, unharmed and seemingly not having to be detained in any way, claiming that he was just too embarrassed to return home and got lost.
(15:00):
It is easier now with GPS and cell phones at everyone's side. But I still see a few males never asking for directions, even if they had a great woman to go home to. On behalf of all men, I apologize.
(15:21):
Ladies, some of us struggle with directions. Not me though, no. For our next tale, I hope that you don't lose your head, as we're staying in the same county. Let's go to Archer's Fun!
(15:45):
Hey, you catch anything yet? Nah, the fish don't seem to be wanting what I'm offering today. I'm not even gonna respond to that. Man, you know what I meant. Fish ain't biting.
I do, but there was probably a better way you could have phrased that. Whatever, I'm switching the bait. Now that's actually a good idea for once.
(16:10):
Yeah, yeah. How long you wanna spend out here? I got nothing to do today, so we can stay until dark if you want.
Hey, Connor. Thanks again for coming out here with me at the last moment. It's a little harder since you and Quinn had the kid.
She has a name, you know. Sorry, since you and Quinn had Madison.
(16:37):
You know, you could just stop by. We could always hang out and watch TV like we used to. The TV still works, you know. And it even works to put Madison to sleep sometimes.
Yeah, I know, man. It's not the same though. Maybe you could try getting a girl yourself one day?
(17:00):
I doubt that's going to happen any time soon. Why? You have a good job, you make money, you're in shape, you have a nice house. Tell me, what's not to love?
Women don't seem to like me much. Maybe it's my personality. You just need to relax a bit more around them. Be confident.
(17:21):
That's the problem. I always forget, and I guess I end up being stiff. What about asking Morgan to be your wingman? He always seems to be good with the ladies.
Yeah, that's not what I need. I would tell him that I like the girl. He would start talking to her, and next thing I know, he's the one leaving me alone to the bar while he's going home with the girl.
(17:48):
Well, hopefully she had a friend.
Yeah, it absolutely never goes wrong... with a friend.
What about, um, oh shit, what's her name? Veronica? Was she the girl you were going to marry if you were still single at 30?
(18:12):
Veronica? Wow, that's a name I haven't heard in a long time. Yeah, she has lived a pretty wild life last I heard. We made that pact when we were 19 and going to college together.
Okay, so, what happened to her? Well, let's see. She got married at 24, got divorced at 25, got pregnant at 26, married again at 28, and got divorced by 30.
(18:49):
And during this time, she dropped out of college, went back to college, completed her associates, got arrested for possession of marijuana, and is currently fighting a custody battle for her kid with the dad.
So, when is the wedding? Quinn and I will have to make room in our calendar for it, so you gotta give us a heads up.
(19:13):
Man, there's no way.
At least you know she has a wild side.
I don't want to get involved in that mess. Just too much for me.
You went to that mess 10 years ago.
That was before. I was a dumb teenager back then.
(19:34):
So, what's changed since then, other than your age?
Not that much, I guess.
I think you just have bad luck. You break a mirror recently, walk past a black cat, tip over salt and sugar, walk under a ladder.
Aha, that's not what I needed to hear.
I was talking about the fish. I can't help you with the women.
(19:57):
Wait, doesn't Quinn have a sister?
You know she's 40, right? We just went to her birthday party.
Is she single?
Trust me, you don't want that.
(20:19):
Is it me, or is it just getting really cold out here?
Connor?
Connor!
Look over at the bank.
Is that? Um, you know.
A ghost?
(20:40):
Yeah, that's the word.
Emmett, look over by the dock.
Is that another one? Do you think that's Polly?
I never thought those stories were true.
Neither did I until now.
Get your line in.
Where are you going?
Away from here.
(21:02):
So, you think the girls would like me more since I saw a ghost?
I'm a survivor with a story now.
You never give up, do you?
Maybe you could introduce me to Quinn's sister. Tell me about her.
Fine, she's just alright. I think she's a manager at a job.
I've never been married that I knew. She is smart, outgoing, and focused on fish and fish.
(21:30):
The hauntings of Archer's Pond and the forest it surrounded ranged from plague death to misguided teenage love.
But one of the stories I really like is the tale of Polly.
Polly lived in the woods with her husband where they struggled to survive both the elements and their poverty.
(21:51):
Polly longed to buy a new pair of boots to protect herself from the snow and ice and that rocky terrain.
Her husband refused as they barely had enough funds to stay alive.
Despite her husband's protest, Polly went and got the shoes, and when her husband found out she was brutally decapitated by his acts.
(22:13):
One week passed and he was so over-struck with guilt that he hung himself.
Oh boy!
Legend states that the ghosts of the couple roamed the woods and around the pond, never finding eternal rest.
I think we should stay on the water for our next story. What do you say to that, matey?
(22:53):
The ship is on land! Claim the vessel! Prepare to board the ship!
Boom about!
(23:14):
The ship!
This be the one! You see the colors?
Aye, Captain. Just like you said.
Come about!
No prey to pay, mateys.
Run a shot across the bow!
(23:38):
We're close to the American main, Captain.
Run another shot across the bow!
Avast, shee, matey! There be a lassie aboard this ship!
(23:59):
Aye, Captain. They may be running a rig.
Find ye oar, and me find ye lass. Board the vessel.
Aye, aye, Captain.
(24:24):
Please, sir, spare our lives, as we are honorable, God-feeling people.
There is no honor in the scurvy, briny deep. Your creator has no influence here.
I shall give thee what thou shalt want.
Belay? Ah, to spend the night and crack Jenny's teacup.
(24:48):
I know where the booty be laid.
There is always booty to be laid, Scallywag.
I know where the true treasure be laid.
I have always thought he runneth his mouth, me lord.
We shall see if he runneth his mouth or no. Where be the lass, me hearties?
(25:13):
Avast! Where be the lassie?
She be in the foc'sle. The Captain be in there with her.
Take me to the oar. I shall grant ye quarter. Savvy?
I understand. Follow me.
Furl the sails. Prepare to dance the hempen jig.
(25:35):
Choffey?
Dead men tell no tale.
Parley!
Aye, matey. When me return from the oar, we parley.
(25:56):
Down the hall!
Lead the way, sea dog.
The woman and child be right through those doors.
Open thee doors.
There be the horse.
(26:18):
Don't be frightened. I will bring thee no harm.
Spare me. Spare my child.
Bring me the lass.
(26:40):
Aye, aye, Captain.
Please, mister. Please. I beseech you. Please. I don't have anyone else. Please, mister.
(27:01):
Who be your companion?
He be lifeless. He died at sea.
This be genuine?
God rest his soul. He died two fortnight ago.
A child cannot be raised without a father. What shall we do?
(27:26):
Please, mister. Please. Spare my offspring.
Abast ye whore. I am not sending your offspring to Davy Jones' locker.
(27:50):
Then what shall thou request of me?
That the name of ye lassie shall be Mary, after me mother.
And I shall spare all the souls on board.
Yes, yes. The child shall be named Mary.
(28:19):
I shall honor your mother's epithet.
I want ye to accept the role of green silk, for thee to fashion a matrimony dress for Mary, when she is of age.
And what of the rest of us?
(28:43):
Ye shall abandon ship, and we shall take you to London, Barry. And we be never seen each other again.
We have a letter of Mark, Sally.
(29:05):
And none of us shall perish?
Ye have me word. None of ye shall see Davy Jones' locker today. To go on account ye may.
Prepare to weigh anchor.
(29:29):
What about the man and his pearly?
Blow the man down, or make sure no one sees.
Aye, aye, captain.
Get the emerald ready to sail. We be taking all leave speedily.
Aye, aye, captain.
Captain?
(29:50):
Ye.
I like the name Mary.
Ah, it shall be a good name.
Splice the main brace, sea dogs. Prepare to set sail.
(30:26):
Mary, I shall remember thee always.
Ocean-born Mary was a woman named Mary Wallace. Born to Scotch Irish immigrants in 1720, she led a normal life, albeit her not-so-normal birth.
(30:56):
From the legends you just heard, you know that she was born at sea, and at the same time pirates attacked the ship.
The pirate captain, hearing the newborn's cry of life, stopped his attack and spared the newborn.
He stated that everyone would live if the mother named the child Mary, and of course, the mother agreed.
(31:18):
Mary grew up in Londonderry, where she got married and did wear the dress.
She had five children and told her stories to Mr. Roy, who later spun the tales into hauntings and legends.
Galileo once said, all truths are easy to understand once you discover them. The goal is to discover them.
(31:42):
Speaking of discovery, let's take a trip to Danville, huh? Maybe we could share some chocolate chip cookies.
Here we go!
So Chief, what are you going to do tonight?
(32:05):
Well, as soon as we park the engines, I'm going to take a long hot shower, eat that chili Dicky made before we were dispatched, and catch up on some needed paperwork.
Well, after we clean up, the rest of us are heading over to the Hens House.
All of you?
Well, most of us. Davis isn't going. Something about needing to get home to his wife.
(32:30):
She did just have a baby two weeks ago. That's a good reason.
We know. Still doesn't mean he can't have a beer with us sometimes. His firefighter brothers.
You've never been married before, have you?
I tried at once. It didn't work out so well.
What happened?
I fucked another girl.
(32:52):
That's not the story Dicky told me.
Oh yeah? What did he tell you?
That it wasn't one, but actually multiple women.
Haha. Oh man.
So I'm guessing that it's true.
Yeah. That was a good night.
Sounds like it. And I can definitely see why you're not ready for marriage yet.
(33:18):
Yeah, you got me there.
If you come to the bar with us, I can tell you more about that night.
Uh, no. I don't need to hear the story. I think I already got a clear picture. But maybe you could buy me a beer?
Alright. Sounds like a deal.
Hey Paulie, start filling those buckets. Nathan, clean those hoses. Hey Chief.
(33:43):
You better not be giving me a job.
Nah, just a request.
Yeah, what's that?
Nah, just save some hot water for the rest of us, will ya?
I'll think about it.
Thanks Chief.
Nathan! Get on those hoses!
(34:10):
This shower's gonna feel so damn good.
I can't believe that accident.
What a shame about that family.
Damn, that water's so cold.
(34:31):
Come on guys, hurry it up. It's ladies night. I want to get to the bar before all the pretty ones are taken.
I wonder if he's ever gonna settle down.
Oh, that reminds me. I need to get Sarah a gift before this weekend. She'd kill me if I forget her anniversary again.
(34:59):
That feels good.
Lord, no matter how many of these I take, it never washes away the pain.
You know what I've seen? The horrors I've witnessed. The burned bodies. The damn smell.
(35:27):
I'm glad others haven't seen what I've seen.
It's one thing to hear about your family's death, but it's another to see it.
Oh god, that little girl died in my arms today.
(35:50):
I pray. I pray she's with you.
I pray she's in no more pain. I pray that she's with her entire family.
(36:12):
Up there with you.
Hey Chief, you saving any hot water for the rest of us?
Huh?
Yeah, yeah. Sorry, just finishing up. It's all yours, Ben.
About time. There better be some hot water left.
(36:43):
Come on boys, time to wash those hoses.
Do you really have to say that every time?
Sir, if you dance with the devil enough times, the devil's not the one who changes. He changes you.
You know, a good Sunday service will help you with that.
Yeah, I tried that once. Honestly, didn't stick.
(37:08):
Well, you know there's always time to try again.
Chief, with all due respect, religion and marriage are the same for me. Some things just aren't meant for me.
Go get cleaned up. I gotta start on this report. No time for chilly tonight.
Yeah, you go do the boring stuff.
(37:31):
You know Adam, one of these days you might actually want to get promoted.
Yeah, maybe, but today is not that day, Chief.
(38:01):
I am too old for this shit.
But he is a damn good firefighter.
Good with the men too.
Damn, the engines look good.
One of these days he should be the one leading these men.
(38:29):
Good smoke tastes so good.
I know I told Mary I'd stop, but after what I just saw, she can't blame me, can she?
Oh well, if these don't kill me, the job soon will.
(38:50):
Alright, time to do the reports.
Sounds like some stupid dogs are at least having fun tonight.
What the fuck was that? Is that a monkey?
(39:11):
Hey Chief, you alright?
Yeah, no, I swear I just saw a huge monkey running by.
A monkey? You feeling alright?
Yeah, just a long night I guess.
(39:34):
Hurry up and finish your report so you can come out with us. I think you need it.
I think you're right.
Give me 30 minutes, go on without me. I'll meet you guys there.
We can wait. We go together. We're a team, right? I mean that's what you always say.
(39:56):
Thank you, but it'll be quicker without all the distractions. You guys go ahead. I'll meet you at Hen's house.
You sure, Chief?
Yeah. Go. I'll catch up.
Alright. I learned a long time ago not to argue with the boss.
Come on guys, let's go.
(40:17):
Hey Chief, if you see another monkey, you might want to go talk to somebody.
Maybe your God will help you out of this one. Maybe he'll help you make friends with them.
He will. He will.
You have fun. Save me some beer.
(40:38):
Oh, like you saved us some hot water.
We'll try, Chief. We will try.
Alright, let's get back to work.
(41:01):
The Devil's Monkeys have been around Danville since the 1930s. These primate-like creatures are said to be similar to baboons, but much larger, faster, and a hell of a lot meaner.
They're described as being eight feet tall with large feet and fully-haired bodies. Reminds me of Mom.
(41:25):
The Devil Monkeys are said to be powerful enough to cross a field with just a few leaps.
They attack their victims by tearing with their razor-sharp claws or biting with their sharp teeth.
They go for the soft areas like the belly or face to bring down their prey.
Sightings around 2001 were so popular that for a span of a couple of weeks, the town went into panic.
(41:53):
Even the local fire captain spotted one. Whoa!
Parents refused to let their children outside, and many search parties were sent out to search for the beasts.
But nothing was ever found.
Finally, the town returned to normal. Well, for the most part anyway.
(42:14):
People think that the creature moved on to a more remote area in the mountains, but I suppose we'll never know for sure.
Unless you want to go find out for yourself.
New Hampshire is an interesting state for all to enjoy no matter what you're into.
But I need to finish cleaning this place up before I move on to my next job.
(42:40):
I think I'll be going to the Paranormal Museum.
I need to do a little research on how to remove, uh, um, uh, something.
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
(43:11):
I'm gonna walk around tell me why you're out of town everything you feel for tell me what you're open to walk past the road
I'm gonna hold
Oh
(44:25):
I'm never gonna come down
No, never no, never come down
No, never come down
(44:50):
Holiday
Holiday
Holiday
Holiday
Holiday
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