Discount Storytime
Weekly humorous short stories for grown-ups. Engaging plots, rich character development, and intelligent dialogue are carefully edited out. Enjoy!
Episodes
This week's story is a parody of Stephen King classic short story “Children of the Corn.” Enjoy!
Content warning for movie spoilers, bullying, profanity, violence, and body horror.
Next week’s story will be Freddy and the Cabin. Freddy Cat and the kittens from two episodes ago return for another adventure!
Love humorous short stories? Want to pause the adulting for a bit and listen to a story?
If your world feels heavy, and you w...
When Freddy Cat stumbles into the town of Bramble, he makes three new friends.
Next week's story: Roasted Corn based on Stephen King’s “Children of the Corn” short story.
Also, we are looking for a sponsor. And according to our market research, up to 60% of our audience uses indoor plumbing, so we will be reaching out to Kohler faucets to see if they will sponsor us. More to follow on our next episodes.
Content warning for Profan...
This story is a mashup of the 1992 slasher "Dr. Giggles" and the first episode of "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" which aired in 1993. Enjoy!
Content warning for movie spoilers,horror,violence, and gore.
Next Week: "Freddy Cat" Freddy is a bit of a wandering free spirit until he discovers the town of Bramble and makes three friends who will change everything.
Love humorous short stories? Want to pause the a...
Nothing says 'historical romance' like pickleball. Enjoy this entertaining and educational tour through the history of this amazing sport – with romance!
Next week's story is a combination of 90’s scary movie and beloved historical drama in “Dr. Giggles, Medicine Woman.”
Also, we are still looking for a sponsor. And according to our market research, up to 60% of our audience uses indoor plumbing, so we will be reaching...
This week's story is a parody of the 1973 horror movie, “Horror Hospital.” Just to let you know, this episode has a passionate sex scene. Scandalous! Enjoy!
Content warning for movie spoilers, profanity, horror, violence, gore, and sexual themes.
Next week’s story will be "Pickleball! (A Historical Romance)"
If your world feels heavy, and you would love to have someone read you a story that makes you laugh, then tune in...
Happy New Year!!!
Welcome to Discount Storytime’s end of the year compilation of Discount Ideas. If you follow this show on Bluesky, you may have seen a few of these posted. But here they are, a big clump of them in all their discount glory.
If you want to hear the first set of Discount Ideas, they are here.
As mentioned last week, we are looking for a sponsor and are courting Kohler. So we’ve included a sample commercial.
Enjoy and ...
To all our listeners I want to wish happy holidays to you and the ones you love.
This week's story is an homage to an 80's horror classic "Killer Klowns from Outer Space." And had inspiration from the Canadian Horror Comedy "Slaxx."
Additionally, we at Discount Storytime have been looking for a sponsor and, after doing some market research, found that up to 60% of our audience uses indoor plumbing. T...
We're Baaack!!!!
Long story short, Discount Storytime is home. :-)
If you have downloaded this episode, would you please, please click the "say hi" link below and let me know you received it? And, if you would, please let me know what genres you enjoy so I can tailor future stories for you awesome listeners. Thank you!!!
"Bluer" is a parody of the 1996 horror move "Thinner." It's so scary you&a...
What happens if you lose your hand bones in a card game?
Content warning for profanity, horror elements, and body horror.
This story was read by voice actor Grande. He can be emailed at grande@dalpoco.net, or check out his substack at https://dalpoco.substack.com/!
Music: "Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay
Sound Effects by freesound_community from Pixabay
A monster, an angry mob, and a proposal.
Content warning for sexual themes.
Click here for CHICKEN FRIED HORROR!
"Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay
"Happy Funk" by Alex Guz from Pixabay
Sound Effects by freesound_community from Pixabay
Find Discount Storytime on Bluesky
Email me here!
Thank you for being awesome listeners!!!
This week is a reply of season one's Thanksgiving Special. Enjoy
Our sponsor this week is "Leche Bell Grande." Enjoy!
Content Warning: Horror elements, Profanity
Here is the link to our new podcast, Chicken Fried Horror!
Music:
"Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay
"Romantic Adventure" by Pavel Bekirov from Pixabay
“Funk Upbeat” by Mikhail Smusev from...
Click here for our new podcast - CHICKEN FRIED HORROR!
Hear the lost audio journal of a true POS (Pioneer Of Science). Enjoy! (You can also read this story here.)
Content warning for profanity, body horror, and horror elements.
Check out Chicken Fried Horror here!
About Discount Storytime:
Love humorous short stories? Want to pause the adulting for a bit and listen to a story?
If your world feels heavy, and you would love to have someon...
Click here for our new podcast - CHICKEN FRIED HORROR!
Will Geraldine ever make a friend at the park? Enjoy! (You can also read this story here.)
Content warning for childhood bullying
Discount Idea #62: Do you think I’m messing around? I’m not messing around. Take a good look. I'm wearing my all business Hamburglar costume.
About Discount Storytime:
Love humorous short stories? Want to pause the adulting for a bit and listen...
Click here for our new podcast - CHICKEN FRIED HORROR!
The long lost original version of Sleeping Beauty, or "Briar Rose." Enjoy!
Discount Idea #68: "You don’t have to be “in” nature to enjoy the benefits. Try simply thinking about nature, or watching a nature documentary on your couch, or eating pizza poppers while watching that movie about chainsaw monkeys."
Content warning for profanity, horror elements, body ...
A Discount SPOOKYtime story! Happy Halloween!
(You can also read this story here.)
Discount Idea #63: Some people beat the living daylights out of a stranger. That is cruel. Instead, try beating the living daylights IN TO a stranger.
Next week‘s story: Toe Jamalama Fatalis. Subscribe so you can hear the long lost audio journal of a true P.O.S (Pioneer Of Science).
About Discount Storytime:
Love humorous short stories? Want ...
The spider got 'curds and WHEY' more than he bargained for. Enjoy! (you can read the story here)
Discount Storytime is proud to introduce our super resident voice actor: Grande! Click here for his bio and contact information!
Discount Idea #66: "If the headless horseman is chasing you, don't panic. Pull out a bag of pumpkin seeds and start eating them. He will realize who is in charge."
About Discount Storytim...
Can the King and Queen survive an empty castle, together? Enjoy! (You can also read this story here.)
Discount Idea #61: You can’t win them all. Sometimes you’re the goose. Sometimes you’re the meteorite that lands on the goose.
Next week‘s story: Agent Muffet. The spider got 'curds and WHEY' more than he bargained for.
About Discount Storytime:
Love humorous short stories? Want to pause the adulting for a bit and...
A horrific retelling of a childhood favorite. Enjoy! (You can also read it here.)
Content warning for profanity.
Discount Idea #60- I once hired a dog walker. A little while later a dog came to my door and said "I walked here. That'll be $25."
Next week‘s story: A Bit of Housekeeping. Can the King and Queen of Discountvania survive an empty castle, together? Subscribe so you can find out.
About Disc...
Can everyone just get along? Enjoy! (You can also read it here.)
Content warning for violence.
Discount Idea #59- I awoke to the scary sound of wailing and moaning in the middle of the night. Was it coming from ghosts? No. Luckily it was just the captives in my basement.
Next week‘s story: An Unfortunate H. Well, ain't this just a horrific retelling of a childhood favorite. Subscribe so you can find out.
Abo...
Will Stumbly make a splash at the Circus? Enjoy!
Discount Idea #58- I used be a vegetarian. But after getting bit by a werewolf I now have to say "mostly vegetarian."
Next week‘s story: Virus Park. Can everyone at Virus Park just get along? Subscribe so you can find out.
About Discount Storytime:
Love humorous short stories? Want to pause the adulting for a bit and listen to a story?
If your wo...
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