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July 4, 2024 13 mins

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This Halloween, Tales of Bedlam digs up one of the Grimm Brothers’ most disturbing stories—so twisted it was removed from their original 1812 collection. “How Some Children Played at Slaughtering” isn’t your average bedtime story.

Join Micah, Dustin, and special guest Mr. Death Hades as they navigate this grim (and gruesome) two-part tale filled with unsettling children’s play, brutal consequences, and more death than you’d expect from something labeled a "fairy tale."

With the usual dark humor, unscripted banter, and bizarre insights you love from Tales of Bedlam, this episode will make you squirm—and think twice about letting kids play butcher. If you like your folklore with a side of gallows humor, this one’s for you.

Just…maybe don’t listen to it during dinner.

This episode is a replay from 2019-2021; please ignore any announcements during the episode.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Micah (Knob Twister) (00:07):
Welcome to Tales of Bedlam.
I'm your host.
I forgot who you were.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (00:14):
Oh my god, this is going well already.
I am he who setteth hisposterior upon the sofas.

Mr. Death Hades (00:23):
And I'm death.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (00:25):
Oh lord, sit down death.
Oh lord, sit down death.
That's right.
No reaping for the next hourand a half, please.

Micah (Knob Twister) (00:33):
We have a very special guest with us today
, Mr Death Hades you just readyour lines and behave yourself.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (00:40):
Don't kill anything.

Mr. Death Hades (00:42):
I'm here for a fantastic time.

Micah (Knob Twister) (00:47):
Jeez.
Today's tale is our second oneof our spectacular, spooktacular
Halloween specials for October.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (01:01):
That was punny.

Micah (Knob Twister) (01:03):
Ed Death.
Would you introduce this story,oh Lord.

Mr. Death Hades (01:07):
How some children played at slaughtering.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (01:12):
I'm sure that gives you all kinds of
pleasure too, doesn't it?
Put your sickle down.

Micah (Knob Twister) (01:16):
Thank you.
Death, that is the title.
This tale encompasses twostories, that's right.
Two stories with differentendings.
It's a two stories, that'sright.
Two stories with differentendings.
It's a twofer.
This originally was in theBrothers Grimm's original
collection from 1812, but thebrothers decided to withdraw
this tale because it may not beappropriate reading for children

(01:41):
.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (01:42):
But it's fine to listen to.
Just don't let them read it.

Mr. Death Hades (01:46):
It's depressing .

Micah (Knob Twister) (01:49):
We'll let you be the judge.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (01:52):
What the heck this is so bad they took it
out of their collection.

Micah (Knob Twister) (01:56):
Yes, wow, so without further ado, how Some
Children Played at SlaughteringStory 1.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (02:06):
This just starts out gruesome Just the
title's gruesome Alright in astory named Franeker, located in
West Friesland, which isapparently in the Netherlands,
in the northern part of thecountry.
I've been there, of course youhave.

Mr. Death Hades (02:26):
People die there, we know, I'm quite often
there because it's so cold.
Sit down and lonely.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (02:36):
You can interrupt me the whole time.
I tell you what dude you and meare going to have some words
Now.
You made me lose my place.
Some young boys Wow, Some youngboys and girls between the ages
of five and six that's veryspecific happened to be playing

(02:57):
with one another.
They were just accidentallywhoops.
I just want to point out theequality here there were boys
and girls yes, playing togetherand never mind that they were
all white and blonde haired, butthat's probably why they took
it out of their edition, becausethey were girly quality.

(03:18):
They chose one boy to play abutcher, another boy was to play
the cook I can just see wherethis is going already.
This isn't okay.
And the third boy was to be thepig.

Micah (Knob Twister) (03:31):
Oh boy.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (03:33):
Death sit down.

Mr. Death Hades (03:35):
White children squeal when they die.
I knew it.

Micah (Knob Twister) (03:40):
That's not okay, I can see where this is
going.
For sure it says playing, butI'm a little worried so I guess
I will continue with the story.
Then they chose one girl to bea cook and another girl, her
assistant.
And there goes your equality, Iwas just gonna say, and the

(04:02):
equality went out the door.
The assistant was to catch theblood of the pig in a little
bowl so they could make sausages.
Man, don't people eat anything,blood sausage, so gross.
As agreed, the butcher now fellupon the little boy playing the
pig.
Oh, threw him to the ground andslit his throat wide open with

(04:27):
a knife, holy crap.
Wow, the assistant cook caughtthe blood in her little bowl
wide open with a knife, holycrap.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (04:36):
Wow, the assistant cook caught the blood
in her little bowl.

Micah (Knob Twister) (04:37):
This is some serious plan going on.
Is this like a?

Dustin (Sofa Sitte (04:40):
Fisher-Price bowl, I don't know, one of
those little pink like teacup,tea set.

Micah (Knob Twister) (04:46):
It obviously wasn't a Fisher-Price
knife, because I've tried.
You can't stab your brotherwith that.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (04:54):
Weird, so they just got right into it.

Micah (Knob Twister) (04:57):
I guess so .

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (05:02):
They just held this kid down, slit his
throat and collected his blood.
All right, I'm not okay withthis.
A councilman was walking nearbyand saw this wretched act.
Hmm, he immediately took thebutcher with him and led him
into the house of the mayor, whoinstantly summoned the entire
council.
Oh, boy.
Wow.

Micah (Knob Twister) (05:23):
How do you handle this?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (05:25):
Someone needs some serious therapy Death
.

Micah (Knob Twister) (05:29):
do you have any like advice in this
situation?
Oh, you would.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (05:33):
Why.

Micah (Knob Twister) (05:37):
Hmm.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (05:37):
Wow, he's quiet for once.
He's just over there slobberingon himself.

Micah (Knob Twister) (05:42):
Um no, it looks like he's sharpening his
scythe.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (05:47):
Oh stop, I told you to put that down.
Just keep sharpening and don'tmove.
They deliberated about theincident and did not know what
they should do to the boy, forthey realized it had been part
of a children's game.
Well, be that as it may, notokay?

Micah (Knob Twister) (06:08):
One of the councilmen, an old, wise man,
advised the chief judge to takea beautiful red apple in one
hand and a gold coin in theother.
Okay, then he was to call theboy and stretch out his hand to
him.
If the boy took the apple, hewas to be set free.

(06:30):
If he took the the apple, hewas to be set free.
If he took the gold coin, hewas to be killed.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (06:35):
What.

Mr. Death Hades (06:36):
Take the coin.
Yes, too, take the coin.
What?
That's exactly what I wouldhave done, oh.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (06:48):
Don't lie oh boy Death.

Micah (Knob Twister) (06:53):
would you finish?

Mr. Death Hades (06:55):
the story for us.
The judge took the wise man'sadvice and the boy grabbed the
apple with a laugh oh you'recreepy.
Thus he was set free withoutany punishment.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:12):
Well, I just don't like that at all.
That's not how that's supposedto go.

Micah (Knob Twister) (07:18):
Maybe that's why they took this story
out.
I think after the first instantwhere kids actually slid
another kid's throat open, theywere like maybe we should remove
this from our collection ofstories, yeah, and then he gets
away with it.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:35):
That's exactly what I'm getting at.

Micah (Knob Twister) (07:39):
They don't learn any lesson.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:41):
There's no lesson to be had here, other
than you get a nice apple if youkill your friend and drain his
blood in a tea cup Beautiful redapple.

Micah (Knob Twister) (07:51):
There's a different ending, yes, well, if
you thought that Was gruesome,the second story is much, much
worse.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (08:02):
And these are related.

Mr. Death Hades (08:04):
Everyone dies.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (08:06):
Oh, your kind of story then.
Jeez, which were kind of tickedoff.

Micah (Knob Twister) (08:10):
The first one Nobody died Except for the
poor little pig, poor little pigdid so story, two pig did so
story two.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (08:27):
There once was a father who slaughtered a
pig and his children saw that.
Well, that happens you gottaget bacon somewhere.
Yep, in the afternoon, whenthey began playing, one child
said the other you be the littlepig and I'll be the butcher.
That'll be fun.
Yeah, I bet it will.
He then took a shiny knife andslit his little brother's throat
.

Micah (Knob Twister) (08:48):
Oh, my gosh, what the flip flop.
It's even worse it was hisbrother.
The mother was upstairs in aroom bathing another child, and
when she heard the cries of herson, she immediately ran
downstairs.
Upon seeing what had happened,she took the knife out of her

(09:09):
son's throat and was so enragedthat she stabbed the heart of
the other boy who had beenplaying the butcher.
What is?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (09:18):
going on what's going?

Micah (Knob Twister) (09:24):
on in the Netherlands, I don't know man.
This is, this is, this is.

Mr. Death Hades (09:27):
Yeah, murder.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (09:32):
He slit his brother's throat so the
mom's ticked off.
She grabs the knife, stabs himin the heart In her rage, she
kills her other son afterpulling the knife from his
throat and she leaves the otherone upstairs in the bath to
drown.
Apparently what, oh my gosh, Ididn't even.

(09:53):
I didn't mean to spoil it.
But then she quickly ran backto the room to tend her child in
the bathtub, but while she wasgone he had drowned in the tub.
Holy crap, Too late, Too late.
Now, the woman became sofrightened and desperate that
she did not allow the neighborsto comfort her and finally hung
herself.

Micah (Knob Twister) (10:15):
Could we have Don't ever live in this
house.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (10:17):
Six people die in the matter of four
sentences, please.

Micah (Knob Twister) (10:20):
Death.
Can you finish this story forme, Jeez?

Mr. Death Hades (10:23):
I can't do it I just can't.
When her husband came back fromthe fields and saw everything,
he became so despondent that hetoo died soon thereafter.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (10:38):
Yeah, well , now I see why you're sitting
in on this story, you big idiot,jeez.
Hope you're happy now.

Mr. Death Hades (10:46):
A good death can and should mean different
things to different people likeyou, Dustin.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (10:57):
Well, that was uh.
Well, you know at least therewas.

Micah (Knob Twister) (11:00):
Oh my Goodness.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (11:03):
It was all in the course of an afternoon.

Micah (Knob Twister) (11:05):
There was no goodness in that story.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (11:07):
I can see how they.

Micah (Knob Twister) (11:09):
That one was just I'm wondering if they
got some complaints.
It wasn't just like oh hey,maybe we should take this one
out.
They probably got complaints.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (11:19):
They had a PTA meeting.
We can't have this in ourchildren's books.
You have to take one out.
They probably got complaints.

Micah (Knob Twister) (11:25):
They had a PTA meeting.
We can't have this in ourchildren's books.
You have to take it out,century PTA meeting, and burn it
please, and you know how thosekind of meetings usually end up
With somebody strung up on arope, tied to a burning cross,
upside down, or drowned.
Wow.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (11:39):
Well, I don't think you could put any
more gruesomeness into 12 linesof a story.
If you tried, I've seen worse.

Mr. Death Hades (11:48):
Well, you've done worse.

Micah (Knob Twister) (11:55):
Whole cities have cowered before me
Always a pleasure to have youhere, Mr Death Hades.
Yeah, come back anytime If youliked this second of our
installation of five tales forOctober of spooktacular
spooklariousness.
That made no sense.
It was gruesome.

(12:15):
If this tale grossed you outand got you in the mood for a
spooky Halloween, tell yourfriends, family, be our sounding
board, let people know about us, direct them to any kind of
podcast playing app and havethem subscribe to our show.

(12:38):
There's three more for thismonth.
Good night.

Mr. Death Hades (12:43):
Bye, I'll be seeing you soon.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (12:56):
How come we didn't find that one last
year.
That was gruesome.

Micah (Knob Twister) (13:00):
I did a lot of looking because it's not
in the book that I have.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (13:05):
Oh, it's not in the book because they
removed it.
Wow well, at least they didn'tmake the blood sausage and then
eat it in the first one youthink that one's bad Wait till
this next one Great?

Mr. Death Hades (13:27):
I'll make you squeal like a pig.
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