July 5, 2024 • 10 mins
What happens when a dead mother refuses to stop parenting? In this dark and twisted Russian fairy tale, Tales of Bedlam takes you through the haunting legend of “The Dead Mother”—a tale of love, loss, and… undead lactation? With their signature blend of dry wit and ridiculous banter, Dustin and Micah unpack the bizarre story of a baby visited nightly by its buried mother, mysterious midnight feedings, and the ultimate tragic twist.
Prepare for zombie jokes, Labyrinth references, questions nobody should ask about undead anatomy, and the kind of story that makes you reconsider the meaning of “bedtime tale.” A must-listen for fans of creepy folklore, weird parenting legends, and fairy tales with an adult sense of humor.
This episode is a replay from 2019-2021; please ignore any announcements during the episode.
For more Fairy Tale fun, follow, like, and share at...
If you have a question for us, email us at talesofbedlam@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (00:00):
Hello, hello, you're welcome.
Why do you keep pointing at me?
Oh, I gotta do that thing today.
Sure, why not?
Hello, and welcome to Tales ofPelham.
I am Inigo Montoya.
You killed my father.
(00:21):
Prepare, oh, I finished it,prepare to die.
You have to father.
Prepare oh, I finished it,prepare to die.
Micah (Knob Twister) (00:28):
You have to finish that quote and I am
Knob Twister.
This tale is a Russian fairytale.
It's called the Dead Mother.
That's creepy, really.
None of us want our mothersdead.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (00:46):
Well, no, we don't.
Micah (Knob Twister) (00:49):
I bet there is people that do, but
there's some sick twisted peoplethat probably do.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (00:56):
There's some sick twisted mothers.
Micah (Knob Twister) (00:57):
And I'm sure that when I was a teenager
there were a few times that.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (01:01):
I wished my mother dead, but never
stepped on the crack, but neverstepped on the crack never
stepped on the crack, wow thisis written by wrs ralston,
apparently which sounds like abritish person, but whatever wrs
that's what I said four namesyeah, that's weird.
(01:23):
Ralston, william richard, uh,stephen ralston says don't sound
russian at all.
Wow all right take it away thedead mother in a certain village
.
There lived a husband and awife.
Well, that's, that's just weirdTrue story.
(01:45):
Lived happily, lovingly,peacefully.
Micah (Knob Twister) (01:49):
If it was always that way.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (01:51):
This is starting out nicely.
Micah (Knob Twister) (01:53):
It doesn't end that well, wow.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (01:56):
All their neighbors envied them.
The sight of them gave pleasureto honest folks.
Micah (Knob Twister) (02:00):
Ah yes.
Pleasure.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (02:02):
This is beautiful.
Well, it really says well.
Well, the mistress bore a son,but directly after it was born
she died oh, I knew it wouldlast second sentence.
Wow, the poor father moaned andwept poor guy.
Micah (Knob Twister) (02:21):
Above all, he was in despair about the
babe the babe.
He didn't care about his wife.
I guess what?
Babe the babe, the babe withthe power.
The power of voodoo, themistress bore a son, but
directly after it was born shedied.
So the babe.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (02:41):
You, just you completely missed it, dude.
Oh, what babe, the babe withthe power.
What power, oh my god, power ofvoodoo, voodoo.
Micah (Knob Twister) (02:52):
You do you remind me of the babe?
I completely missed it, sorry.
How was he to nourish it?
He doesn't have any boobs.
Sure he does.
How to bring it up without hismother?
They didn't have breasts, notones that are properly equipped
to provide nourishing whitesubstance.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (03:17):
True, that Milk.
Did he not have a cow?
Micah (Knob Twister) (03:21):
He got a nursing maid back then.
That was pretty normal Becausethey didn't have formula.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (03:29):
He did what was best and what was best
Hired an old woman to look afterit.
Micah (Knob Twister) (03:36):
That's best.
Okie doke, Get somebody else todo it.
Hey, if you don't want to takeout the trash, pay someone to.
Hey.
You don't want to mow the yard?
Pay someone a hundred bucks.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (03:46):
I thought the whole point was he was
trying to figure out how tonourish it.
You don't hire an old woman todo that.
That's true.
Only here was a wonder All daylong the babe what babe Would
take no food.
Sorry, I'm going to say itevery time Would take no food.
Sorry, I'm going to say itevery time would take no food
(04:07):
and did nothing but cry.
Well because it was an old woman.
There was no soothing it anyhow, but during, for some reason,
in parentheses, a great part ofthe night.
One could fancy it wasn't thereat all.
So silently and peacefully didit sleep.
Micah (Knob Twister) (04:29):
Hmm, this is a mystery.
Hmm, what's the meaning of this, thinks the old woman.
Suppose I keep awake tonight.
Maybe I shall find out.
Weird Well, just at midnightshe heard someone quietly open
the door and go up to the cradle.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (04:52):
Weirder the babe.
He came still just as if itwere being suckled the night.
Micah (Knob Twister) (05:06):
The next night the same thing took place,
and the third night too.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (05:14):
So she doesn't tell anybody Is somebody
sneaking into the house, intothe kids' room?
And she doesn't approach themor say who are you?
Or go to the father and say,hey, you know, maybe you need a
better lock.
Micah (Knob Twister) (05:28):
She's an old woman.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (05:31):
What does that have to do with anything?
Is she just a senile?
Micah (Knob Twister) (05:36):
She's just like hey, you know, somebody's
taking care of this, so I don'thave to, I can get some rest.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (05:44):
So what was the whole point of her
staying up all night to see whatit was?
I don't know, yeah, this issilly, oh wait a minute.
Then after three nights.
Micah (Knob Twister) (05:55):
Then she told the father about it On the
third night, yep.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (05:59):
He called his kinsfolk together oh yeah.
With their pitchforks andtorches and held council with
them Council.
So now they're having a meetingabout it Around a round table.
They determined on this to stayawake on a certain night and to
spy out who it was that came tosuckle the babe.
Micah (Knob Twister) (06:19):
So there's for sure the babe's being
suckled.
Wow, how do you make sure ofthat?
I don't know.
Is it just some white stuff?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (06:28):
around its lips.
Well, maybe you open the doorwhen you hear the person come in
and say who are you?
Micah (Knob Twister) (06:36):
Hello, anybody there Excuse me.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (06:41):
So it even-tied.
Micah (Knob Twister) (06:44):
Yeah, I do things that even-tied all the
time they all lay down on thefloor.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (06:49):
This doesn't seem like a good plan.
And beside them they set alighted candle hidden in an
earthen pot.
Micah (Knob Twister) (06:58):
It's like Gideon from the Bible.
Are they going to crash thepots and charge the suckling
lady?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:05):
It sounds like they're just having a
surprise party.
At midnight the cottage dooropened.
Micah (Knob Twister) (07:14):
Someone stepped up to the cradle,
someone.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:19):
The babe, what babe became still.
Micah (Knob Twister) (07:23):
At that moment, one of the kinsfolk
suddenly brought out the light.
Ha ha.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:31):
They looked and saw the dead mother
in the very same clothes inwhich she had been buried,
Zombie On her knees beside thecradle over which she bent as
she suckled the babe at her deadbreast.
Micah (Knob Twister) (07:50):
Oh, excuse me, Zombie breast.
Pardon me, sorry, I didn't meanto look.
She's suckling the baby.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:58):
That's rude, she's the baby, that's
rude, she's a zombie.
Micah (Knob Twister) (08:02):
It's rude.
Okay, the moment the lightshone, zombies have rights too.
The moment the light shone inthe cottage, she stood up, gazed
sadly on her little one andthen went out to the room
without a sound, not saying aword to anyone.
All those who saw her stood fora time were terror struck.
(08:27):
Of course they were, and whenthey found the bay, it too was
dead.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (08:34):
Well, what ?
That's the end.
Micah (Knob Twister) (08:39):
I guess it was never really alive Because
the old lady never went up andchecked it.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (08:44):
She never fed it Because she couldn't.
Was it a zombie baby?
Micah (Knob Twister) (08:49):
We will never know, dustin, we will
never know.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (08:54):
I don't know if I approve of the zombie
story.
Did someone know she left?
Did they stab the baby in thehead, at least to make sure?
Micah (Knob Twister) (09:03):
Oh, that's sick Gosh.
Hey, get the father up here.
Stab that baby.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (09:12):
That's how you make sure that it doesn't
go around eating other peopleWith a thick wooden stake or a
pickaxe or a screwdriver.
Micah (Knob Twister) (09:20):
Yeah, yeah , stab it in the head.
It doesn't go around eatingother people With a thick wooden
stake or a pickaxe or ascrewdriver.
Yeah, yeah, mm-hmm.
Whatever you have around, mm,make sure you sharpen it with
your pumice stone.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (09:30):
All right, that was a lovely bonus.
Zombie Halloween episode.
I got chills.
The dead mother feeding thebaby.
Micah (Knob Twister) (09:40):
Okie doke.
My god, does it feel cold inhere?
No, it's like she's in herewith us.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (09:49):
You need psychological help.
Micah (Knob Twister) (09:51):
Just don't suckle her breasts.
Okie doke, you'll become azombie too.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (09:57):
I had no intention, but thanks for the
warning.
Um weird good night, bye-bye.
Now zombie boobs.
(10:19):
Huh, do you think zombie boobshave milk in them?
Micah (Knob Twister) (10:23):
apparently they do I think it would be
curdled maybe that's why the kiddied I mean, if the, if the
woman's dead and she's a zombie,then the milk would be dead and
it would be like all curdledand chunky sour like cottage
cheese.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (10:42):
Yeah, and it would just come.
Oh okay, I'm out.
Hello, hello, you're welcome.
Why do you keep pointing at me?
Oh, I gotta do that thing today.
Sure, why not?
Hello, and welcome to Tales ofPelham.
I am Inigo Montoya.
You killed my father.
(00:21):
Prepare, oh, I finished it,prepare to die.
You have to father.
Prepare oh, I finished it,prepare to die.
Micah (Knob Twister) (00:28):
You have to finish that quote and I am
Knob Twister.
This tale is a Russian fairytale.
It's called the Dead Mother.
That's creepy, really.
None of us want our mothersdead.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (00:46):
Well, no, we don't.
Micah (Knob Twister) (00:49):
I bet there is people that do, but
there's some sick twisted peoplethat probably do.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (00:56):
There's some sick twisted mothers.
Micah (Knob Twister) (00:57):
And I'm sure that when I was a teenager
there were a few times that.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (01:01):
I wished my mother dead, but never
stepped on the crack, but neverstepped on the crack never
stepped on the crack, wow thisis written by wrs ralston,
apparently which sounds like abritish person, but whatever wrs
that's what I said four namesyeah, that's weird.
(01:23):
Ralston, william richard, uh,stephen ralston says don't sound
russian at all.
Wow all right take it away thedead mother in a certain village
.
There lived a husband and awife.
Well, that's, that's just weirdTrue story.
(01:45):
Lived happily, lovingly,peacefully.
Micah (Knob Twister) (01:49):
If it was always that way.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (01:51):
This is starting out nicely.
Micah (Knob Twister) (01:53):
It doesn't end that well, wow.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (01:56):
All their neighbors envied them.
The sight of them gave pleasureto honest folks.
Micah (Knob Twister) (02:00):
Ah yes.
Pleasure.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (02:02):
This is beautiful.
Well, it really says well.
Well, the mistress bore a son,but directly after it was born
she died oh, I knew it wouldlast second sentence.
Wow, the poor father moaned andwept poor guy.
Micah (Knob Twister) (02:21):
Above all, he was in despair about the
babe the babe.
He didn't care about his wife.
I guess what?
Babe the babe, the babe withthe power.
The power of voodoo, themistress bore a son, but
directly after it was born shedied.
So the babe.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (02:41):
You, just you completely missed it, dude.
Oh, what babe, the babe withthe power.
What power, oh my god, power ofvoodoo, voodoo.
Micah (Knob Twister) (02:52):
You do you remind me of the babe?
I completely missed it, sorry.
How was he to nourish it?
He doesn't have any boobs.
Sure he does.
How to bring it up without hismother?
They didn't have breasts, notones that are properly equipped
to provide nourishing whitesubstance.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (03:17):
True, that Milk.
Did he not have a cow?
Micah (Knob Twister) (03:21):
He got a nursing maid back then.
That was pretty normal Becausethey didn't have formula.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (03:29):
He did what was best and what was best
Hired an old woman to look afterit.
Micah (Knob Twister) (03:36):
That's best.
Okie doke, Get somebody else todo it.
Hey, if you don't want to takeout the trash, pay someone to.
Hey.
You don't want to mow the yard?
Pay someone a hundred bucks.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (03:46):
I thought the whole point was he was
trying to figure out how tonourish it.
You don't hire an old woman todo that.
That's true.
Only here was a wonder All daylong the babe what babe Would
take no food.
Sorry, I'm going to say itevery time Would take no food.
Sorry, I'm going to say itevery time would take no food
(04:07):
and did nothing but cry.
Well because it was an old woman.
There was no soothing it anyhow, but during, for some reason,
in parentheses, a great part ofthe night.
One could fancy it wasn't thereat all.
So silently and peacefully didit sleep.
Micah (Knob Twister) (04:29):
Hmm, this is a mystery.
Hmm, what's the meaning of this, thinks the old woman.
Suppose I keep awake tonight.
Maybe I shall find out.
Weird Well, just at midnightshe heard someone quietly open
the door and go up to the cradle.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (04:52):
Weirder the babe.
He came still just as if itwere being suckled the night.
Micah (Knob Twister) (05:06):
The next night the same thing took place,
and the third night too.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (05:14):
So she doesn't tell anybody Is somebody
sneaking into the house, intothe kids' room?
And she doesn't approach themor say who are you?
Or go to the father and say,hey, you know, maybe you need a
better lock.
Micah (Knob Twister) (05:28):
She's an old woman.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (05:31):
What does that have to do with anything?
Is she just a senile?
Micah (Knob Twister) (05:36):
She's just like hey, you know, somebody's
taking care of this, so I don'thave to, I can get some rest.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (05:44):
So what was the whole point of her
staying up all night to see whatit was?
I don't know, yeah, this issilly, oh wait a minute.
Then after three nights.
Micah (Knob Twister) (05:55):
Then she told the father about it On the
third night, yep.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (05:59):
He called his kinsfolk together oh yeah.
With their pitchforks andtorches and held council with
them Council.
So now they're having a meetingabout it Around a round table.
They determined on this to stayawake on a certain night and to
spy out who it was that came tosuckle the babe.
Micah (Knob Twister) (06:19):
So there's for sure the babe's being
suckled.
Wow, how do you make sure ofthat?
I don't know.
Is it just some white stuff?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (06:28):
around its lips.
Well, maybe you open the doorwhen you hear the person come in
and say who are you?
Micah (Knob Twister) (06:36):
Hello, anybody there Excuse me.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (06:41):
So it even-tied.
Micah (Knob Twister) (06:44):
Yeah, I do things that even-tied all the
time they all lay down on thefloor.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (06:49):
This doesn't seem like a good plan.
And beside them they set alighted candle hidden in an
earthen pot.
Micah (Knob Twister) (06:58):
It's like Gideon from the Bible.
Are they going to crash thepots and charge the suckling
lady?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:05):
It sounds like they're just having a
surprise party.
At midnight the cottage dooropened.
Micah (Knob Twister) (07:14):
Someone stepped up to the cradle,
someone.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:19):
The babe, what babe became still.
Micah (Knob Twister) (07:23):
At that moment, one of the kinsfolk
suddenly brought out the light.
Ha ha.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:31):
They looked and saw the dead mother
in the very same clothes inwhich she had been buried,
Zombie On her knees beside thecradle over which she bent as
she suckled the babe at her deadbreast.
Micah (Knob Twister) (07:50):
Oh, excuse me, Zombie breast.
Pardon me, sorry, I didn't meanto look.
She's suckling the baby.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:58):
That's rude, she's the baby, that's
rude, she's a zombie.
Micah (Knob Twister) (08:02):
It's rude.
Okay, the moment the lightshone, zombies have rights too.
The moment the light shone inthe cottage, she stood up, gazed
sadly on her little one andthen went out to the room
without a sound, not saying aword to anyone.
All those who saw her stood fora time were terror struck.
(08:27):
Of course they were, and whenthey found the bay, it too was
dead.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (08:34):
Well, what ?
That's the end.
Micah (Knob Twister) (08:39):
I guess it was never really alive Because
the old lady never went up andchecked it.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (08:44):
She never fed it Because she couldn't.
Was it a zombie baby?
Micah (Knob Twister) (08:49):
We will never know, dustin, we will
never know.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (08:54):
I don't know if I approve of the zombie
story.
Did someone know she left?
Did they stab the baby in thehead, at least to make sure?
Micah (Knob Twister) (09:03):
Oh, that's sick Gosh.
Hey, get the father up here.
Stab that baby.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (09:12):
That's how you make sure that it doesn't
go around eating other peopleWith a thick wooden stake or a
pickaxe or a screwdriver.
Micah (Knob Twister) (09:20):
Yeah, yeah , stab it in the head.
It doesn't go around eatingother people With a thick wooden
stake or a pickaxe or ascrewdriver.
Yeah, yeah, mm-hmm.
Whatever you have around, mm,make sure you sharpen it with
your pumice stone.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (09:30):
All right, that was a lovely bonus.
Zombie Halloween episode.
I got chills.
The dead mother feeding thebaby.
Micah (Knob Twister) (09:40):
Okie doke.
My god, does it feel cold inhere?
No, it's like she's in herewith us.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (09:49):
You need psychological help.
Micah (Knob Twister) (09:51):
Just don't suckle her breasts.
Okie doke, you'll become azombie too.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (09:57):
I had no intention, but thanks for the
warning.
Um weird good night, bye-bye.
Now zombie boobs.
(10:19):
Huh, do you think zombie boobshave milk in them?
Micah (Knob Twister) (10:23):
apparently they do I think it would be
curdled maybe that's why the kiddied I mean, if the, if the
woman's dead and she's a zombie,then the milk would be dead and
it would be like all curdledand chunky sour like cottage
cheese.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (10:42):
Yeah, and it would just come.
Oh okay, I'm out.
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