July 11, 2024 • 28 mins
In this wild and witty episode of Tales of Bedlam, your hosts Sofa Sitter and Knob Twister dissect the strange and magical Native American tale “Witch Wife’s Fate.” Meet White Corn, a witchy wife with owl eyes and suspicious cooking habits, and Red Flower, her food-starved husband who stumbles into a bizarre world of naked witches, giant red roosters, and mystical rainbow transformations.
This story, originally collected by Elizabeth Willis De Huff, unfolds into a chaotic mix of shape-shifting ceremonies, supernatural tests, and chipmunk villages—topped with the hosts’ signature irreverent commentary and laughter.
Perfect for fans of folklore with a twist, this episode delivers creepy storytelling, cultural mystery, and plenty of comedic detours along the way.
This episode is a replay from 2019-2021; please ignore any announcements during the episode.
For more Fairy Tale fun, follow, like, and share at...
If you have a question for us, email us at talesofbedlam@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (00:00):
I'll make it stop.
Vote for me.
I will do away with daylightsavings time, because it's
idiotic 2020.
Micah (Knob Twister) (00:11):
Welcome to Tales of Bedlam.
I'm your host, Knob Twister.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (00:16):
Well, hello there.
Micah (Knob Twister) (00:18):
That would be Sofa Sitter.
This is our final tale forNovember.
What Whoop-de-doo what fate ofthe witch wife witch.
This is a native american tale,again collected by elizabeth
willis de huff.
De huff de huff, whose mother'sname was anne boyd wilson
(00:43):
willis.
That was awesome.
They had way too much time ontheir hands, or something whose
mother's name was Anne BoydWilson Willis.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (00:46):
That was a statement.
That's awesome.
They had way too much time ontheir hands, or something.
Willis, what you talking about,willis?
Micah (Knob Twister) (00:53):
Today's tale, the Fate of the Witch Wife
.
Let's get started A long timeago.
How long ago?
At least 200 years, okay Awoman named White Corn spent all
her days cooking.
As it should be Sexist, shewould cook piles of food that
(01:18):
she never offered to her husband, as it not should be.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (01:22):
That is a crime.
Micah (Knob Twister) (01:23):
She was a witch, red Flower, the husband,
okay, but since the food alwaysdisappeared, red Flower began to
wonder Hmm, what became of it?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (01:36):
Was he kind of slow?
He began to wonder.
I think after the first timeshe took piles of food and I
didn't get any and then it wasgone.
I would wonder I wouldn't beginto wonder.
So one evening he decided thathe would watch the piles of food
these people Like a hawk.
I wonder if he was hiding behindthe letter and see where it
(01:58):
went.
He took off his moccasins Veryimportant At bedtime and laid
down as usual on his blanketsYep, then he pretended to go to
sleep With one eye open.
Whitecorn waited until shethought he was asleep, then she
(02:19):
took out her eyes.
She took out her eyes.
She plucked them out with aspoon Put them under her eyes.
Micah (Knob Twister) (02:28):
She took out her eyes.
She plucked them out with aspoon, put them under her
blankets.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (02:32):
Put owl's eyes in their place.
Micah (Knob Twister) (02:34):
So she could see at night.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (02:36):
Weird and then put an ear of corn down on
the blankets beside Red Flower,because he would never know that
she was gone if there was anear of corn there, right?
Micah (Knob Twister) (02:46):
Well, it's an ear of corn.
Someone to listen to what it'san ear of corn.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (02:55):
In case he wanted somebody to talk to.
Micah (Knob Twister) (02:56):
Yeah.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (02:57):
It was all ears.
Micah (Knob Twister) (02:59):
Corn Wait.
Corn she said If Red Flowershould say anything to me during
the night, answer for me.
Oh my God.
After that she put all the foodshe had cooked into a basket
and went out.
So it's like a On the town.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (03:17):
It's like a walkie-talkie corn.
Micah (Knob Twister) (03:19):
No, it's just an ear of corn.
It's going to talk to me whatis going on.
It's a good ear of corn.
It's going to talk to me whatis going on.
It's a good listener.
Okay, outside.
An owl met her.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (03:32):
I hope that wasn't the one she took the
eyes from.
Micah (Knob Twister) (03:34):
And the two walked away across the
prairie together.
Unless the owl is her Spiritanimal.
Yeah, her familiar, herfamiliar.
What a witch, what a witch.
She's such a witch Spiritanimal.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (03:43):
Yeah, her familiar, her familiar.
What a witch.
Micah (Knob Twister) (03:45):
What a witch she's, such a witch, that
witch She'd have?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (03:50):
I mean, wow Cursing.
You'd think she'd have a jar ofwater or something to put her
eyes in, not just under thepillow.
They're going to get alldrained out and gross.
Micah (Knob Twister) (03:58):
Oh yeah, Like some saline.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (04:01):
Yeah, like with saline, yeah, like with
the little denture drops in them.
Micah (Knob Twister) (04:03):
oh yeah, and get nice and clean, yeah
just because when she comes back, they're gonna be really hard
to put in they're gonna be allgot oh yuck dusty and that's
just disgusting.
Definitely a good bite, but Iwould really like some owl eyes.
That'd be pretty cool, so likeat night time you could just pop
(04:25):
in your owl eyes and you havenight vision.
How awesome would that be.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (04:30):
Sounds exhausting.
Micah (Knob Twister) (04:31):
Swap out your eyeballs.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (04:34):
I'm not ever awake at night, so I
wouldn't know.
I go to sleep like normalpeople.
Micah (Knob Twister) (04:39):
I'm kind of sad for this guy.
I mean, he ain't getting nofood.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (04:44):
And he's named Red Flower flower and
she's cheating on him with anowl well, with a name like that,
it's probably a pushover youare are there red daisies uh
like, yeah, there's red flowersthat look like daisy so he's
just a pushover.
What do they call them?
I do know, but I can't think ofthat.
Micah (Knob Twister) (05:05):
Poppies Red poppies.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (05:08):
So he was just dreaming it all.
He was into the poppies.
Micah (Knob Twister) (05:12):
That's it, dustin, you've got it figured
out.
None of this is reallyhappening, because who could
really pull their eyes out andput owl eyeballs in?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (05:21):
Yeah, put the poppies down.
Red flower it's gone too far.
We've gone off topic.
We haven't got through half thepage yet.
Red flower jumped up off hisblanket and followed them.
After a long walk, they wentinto a cave where there were
many other people, all withowl's eyes.
It's like some eyes wide shut.
(05:41):
Nonsense, for they were all,all witches.
Everybody was a witch.
The witches had taken off theirblankets and they went into the
cave Naked witches and thrownthem into a big pile by the door
.
Well, it's a witch blanketparty.
This is getting weird and we'renot even off the first page yet
(06:01):
.
They take off their blanketsand went into the cave, threw
them in a big pile by the door.
Micah (Knob Twister) (06:06):
Red.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (06:06):
Flower slipped quietly into the cave
and hid under the blankets.
Good thinking, red Flower.
Nice job, no one will see youthere.
What happened to the cornduring all of this?
Nobody knows.
He's still listening.
Micah (Knob Twister) (06:17):
Very soon.
The chief witch.
Hey, hey, oh, very soon.
The chief witch called thecouncil to order.
Ha, he cried.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (06:27):
I smell fresh blood.
I smell human flesh.
Creepy Fee, fie foe fom.
There is a man inside.
Let us find him.
Micah (Knob Twister) (06:41):
And so the witches began to look
everywhere for the man.
They discovered Red Flowerunder the blankets and pulled
him out.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (06:51):
So they're in a big cave with a pile of
blankets.
Micah (Knob Twister) (06:56):
Where else would he?
be?
Where else would he hide?
I guess maybe behind astalagmite, maybe, I don't know.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:07):
Too bad they didn't have a ladder.
Micah (Knob Twister) (07:10):
Yes, because it's very good to hide
behind.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:13):
Why do you hide, brother?
Micah (Knob Twister) (07:16):
Said the chief witch, you are welcome to
our council.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:21):
But first you must bring to us the heart
of a person whom you love bestof all in the world?
Micah (Knob Twister) (07:29):
Obviously, it's not his wife.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:30):
That is the price you must pay for
having come among us Hurry andreturn with a before day break.
His wife was in this party,right, yeah, okay.
Micah (Knob Twister) (07:43):
Naked with all the other ones.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:44):
Redflower went away very sad.
He dared not disobey thewitches, for it would mean
torture and death for him to doso.
He loved his sister better thananyone else and he could not
kill her in order to take herheart to the witches.
What must he do when heremembered his big red rooster?
Oh my god, he hated to kill redrooster.
(08:06):
Oh my god, he hated to kill hisrooster.
But he had to carry a freshlybleeding heart to the witches,
because the witches don't knowthe difference between a rooster
heart and a human heart.
I mean, who does so?
He went to the chicken houseand killed him.
Micah (Knob Twister) (08:19):
Well, if you deal with a lot of human
hearts, I would assume that youwould See the differences.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (08:26):
Well, one of them's probably kind of small
, not necessarily.
Micah (Knob Twister) (08:30):
First of all, he does say a big red
rooster and if you go back toHans the Hedgehog, he was riding
around a horse-sized rooster.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (08:41):
No, I thought we determined that he
was small.
Micah (Knob Twister) (08:44):
No, because he was the size of a man
.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (08:49):
So Redflower has Hans the
Hedgehog's rooster?
Micah (Knob Twister) (08:52):
Yes, and he killed it All the way from
Germany, killed it, cut itsheart out or it's just like a
cousin to that rooster.
It's a strain of super largered roosters.
They no longer grow in thisworld Because could you imagine
the size of the breasts and thelegs?
(09:13):
Sounds delicious.
The chicken wings would be asbig as your leg.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (09:18):
That's fine with me.
However big the rooster was,it's dead now.
When he returned to the witch'scave with the heart, there were
other new members there withfleshly bleeding hearts.
Well, they were just outrecruiting.
Micah (Knob Twister) (09:33):
A lot of people died that night, or
chickens.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (09:38):
Now that you have brought the hearts of
the persons whom you love best,said the chief witch.
Micah (Knob Twister) (09:44):
You must be initiated into our order by
going with us under the rainbowat the end of the cave.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (09:54):
What a weird thing, poppies.
There is definitely some drugs.
Someone was in the peyote.
They're going under the rainbow.
Micah (Knob Twister) (10:03):
At the end of the cave If there is a pot
of gold.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (10:06):
I'm done.
The witch is all formed in lineand passed under the rainbow.
Oh yeah, there can't be arainbow in a cave.
If there is a pot of gold, I'mdone.
The witches all formed in lineand passed under the rainbow.
Oh yeah, there can't be arainbow in a cave.
Each witch turned, don't youargue with?
Micah (Knob Twister) (10:17):
me, there has to be light.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (10:19):
Each witch turned into an animal.
They were coyotes, foxes, bears, hawks and owls, and let's just
guess when Red Flower passedunder, he became a rooster.
Micah (Knob Twister) (10:31):
That's not what it says.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (10:33):
There was a typo on mine.
Mine says coyote.
Micah (Knob Twister) (10:36):
I know that in the Native American
tales a coyote often representedlike a trickster or the devil,
or death sometimes.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (10:45):
Why didn't he become a?
Micah (Knob Twister) (10:46):
rooster?
No, he became a coyote.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (10:48):
I understand that, but why he had
a rooster.
No, he became a coyote, Iunderstand that, but why he had
a rooster heart moving along.
Now animals and friends.
Micah (Knob Twister) (10:56):
Let us test the new hearts and the
chief witch took a sharp stickand thrust it into each of the
newly brought in hearts.
The other hearts cried out likehumans in agony.
Oh lord warn me, but RedFlower's heart squawked like a
(11:16):
rooster.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (11:19):
That was sad.
Micah (Knob Twister) (11:26):
Good job.
He has, he he.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (11:32):
I'm gonna kill you again.
Micah (Knob Twister) (11:34):
He has deceived us cried one of the
witches.
All of the witches.
He has deceived us, cried allof the witches, but they went on
with their ceremonies.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (11:45):
What they just ignored it.
Micah (Knob Twister) (11:47):
What the heck?
Who cares?
So what if he broke the rules?
After a short time, however,the witches told Redflower that
he might go to sleep, since hewas not yet accustomed to
staying awake all night.
What happens?
So they fixed a bed of blanketsfor him and he went to sleep.
Really, he's falling for that.
I would be like you know what Ithink I think I had enough fun
(12:11):
tonight with the rainbows andthe bleeding hearts I think I'll
just go home I'm good, I'lljust have a.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (12:18):
You guys are great, give me a cappuccino
I'll be fine, I agree with that.
He and he went right to sleepwow, it's drugs.
While red flower was asleep,the witches took him and laid
him on a narrow shelf of rockhalfway down a steep cliff.
Oh, at the grand canyon yeah,and left him do it.
(12:39):
That's not good.
When red flower woke and foundhimself in such a perilous
position, he could not even moveor he would have fallen off the
rocks Fallen off.
Onto the rocks far below, hebegan to mournfully sing oh yeah
(13:01):
, mother sister, she will harmme, mother sister, she will harm
me, mother sister, she willtake my heart out.
Does that sing it mournful?
It will kill me to take myheart out, white corn will harm
(13:28):
me.
Micah (Knob Twister) (13:31):
I punch your face.
You missed your calling.
You should record an album.
I should, not.
The Little Chipmunks, I love it.
The next sentence starts thelittle chipmunks.
Make me sing that horriblestuff.
And then you get to read thelittle chipmunks.
The little chipmunks in theirvillage, among the cliffs, heard
(13:51):
red flowers singing.
They ran out of their houses insuch a hurry or maybe a scurry
to see what the noise was thatthey ran over grandmother
chipmunks freshly molded potteryand spoiled it all what the
hell.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (14:09):
These are some well-trained chipmunks.
That's some little pots.
Go, said Grandmother Chipmunkto one of the chipmunk boys and
see who that is in trouble.
Perhaps we may be able to helphim.
Micah (Knob Twister) (14:24):
So Alvin, simon and Theodore ran up the
cliff.
To Wow, Alvin, simon andTheodore ran up the cliff to Wow
, wow, alvin, wow.
So Alvin, simon and Theodore ranup the cliff to Redflower.
Redflower told him what hadhappened and the chipmunk
(14:44):
hurried down into the canyon toGrandmother Spider.
Oh my gosh, this is amazing,because I want to live in a
world where I can canyon toGrandmother Spider.
Oh my gosh, this is amazing,because I want to live in a
world where I can talk tochipmunks and spiders and go
under rainbows and caves andturn into other animals.
Oh, you need some poppies, dude, you can grow your own.
Grandmother Spider he said thewitches have left the red flower
(15:07):
on the ledge of rock to die.
What shall we do?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter (15:11):
Grandmother Spider hurried into the house
and brought out an acorn ofwater that's a weird way to
measure water and an acorn cupof cornmeal mush.
Didn't we have a native storybefore where they were eating
mush of an acorn?
Micah (Knob Twister) (15:26):
Out of a thimble, out of a thimble right,
and it was a.
It was grandmother spider whodid it true, dad?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (15:34):
first of all she said take this to him
and tell him to eat.
Then come back to me.
Chipmunk took the acorns to redFlower.
Oh, Chipmunk, I am starving.
This will not even be a tastefor me, but I thank you just the
same.
It sounded Irish.
Micah (Knob Twister) (15:56):
Or Scottish Well, there was a
rainbow.
It's true, it's true.
Grandmother Spider says eat itreplied Chipmunk, and then he
ran back to the spider village.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (16:08):
It's just crack Chipmunks.
I can just see the spidervillage Just crack Chipmunks.
I can just see the chipmunks oncrack Redflower ate and ate and
drank and drank until he hadplenty and still, oh, the acorn
cup and the acorn were full ofmush and water Magic stuff.
Micah (Knob Twister) (16:26):
Magical.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (16:27):
I've got to find me a spider that has one
of these.
When Chipmunk returned, hebrought with him a pine needle.
That's not what that says.
He brought with him a pine seed.
He dropped it straight down tothe bottom of the canyon from
the shelf where Red Flower was,and immediately a pine tree
began to grow.
Micah (Knob Twiste (16:46):
Whoop-de-doo Nice, the witches will come
this evening the chipmunk anddrop food down from above.
They want you to write tokitchen so that you will fall
off and be killed.
Grandmother spider says for youto shut your eyes and pretend
to be asleep when they come anddo not reach out for the food
they drop sure enough, thatevening the witches came and
(17:06):
dropped buckskin bags of fooddown the cliff.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (17:09):
Was this all the food that White Corn was
cooking before?
Micah (Knob Twister) (17:12):
Yeah, probably.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (17:13):
But Red Flower kept perfectly still
until they went away.
Micah (Knob Twister) (17:18):
The next day, Chipmunk brought fresh food
.
Beware the witches againtonight he said they ran up and
down the growing pine tree,chanting a song as he ran, and
the tree grew and grew.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (17:32):
I wonder what that song was.
This is just getting weird.
Miracle grow.
No, we don't need to sing.
Micah (Knob Twister) (17:38):
Miracle grow.
Mix it with some water Pour iton the roots Miracle grow.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (17:44):
I very much doubt that the native
chipmunks use miracle grow.
Micah (Knob Twister) (17:49):
Well, how did they make everything?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (17:51):
grow so well back then.
Micah (Knob Twister) (17:52):
Chipmunk poop, chipmunk poop, really yeah
, it's good fertilizer.
I remember hearing a story thatthey put dead fish in with the
seed to grow the corn.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (18:04):
I don't know.
I guess it depends on whichtribe of natives you are.
Micah (Knob Twister) (18:07):
It's like fertilizer, disgusting, kind of
like Miracle-Gro, but it stinks.
Yeah that's awful yeah.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter (18:14):
Miracle-Gro Then your corn tastes like fish
.
The witches came again thatnight and dropped more food over
the cliff, but Red Flower kepthis eyes closed.
He heard Chief Witch say IsChief Witch a girl or a boy?
Micah (Knob Twister) (18:31):
I'm assuming it's a girl.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (18:32):
It is strange that Red Flower is not
hungry.
He does not even try to catchthe food he is not dead for.
I can smell his fresh blood.
I thought he was a coyote.
Let us plant some other way toget rid of him.
I think he lost his coyote.
Micah (Knob Twister) (18:47):
I didn't explain that You're right,
because think he lost his coyote.
I didn't explain that.
You're right, Because if he wasa coyote still he'd probably
eat the chipmunk.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (18:54):
Delicious.
Let us plan some other way toget rid of him.
And the witches went away.
Micah (Knob Twister) (19:02):
The third day, chipmunk came again with
food from grandmother spider.
This time he brought with himsome herb medicine.
The witches will come tonight assnakes said the chipmunk.
And we'll crawl down and try topush you off this ledge.
Take this herb juice when thewitches come down, sprinkle it
on them.
Then chipmunk ran up and downthe big pine tree chanting his
(19:25):
little song, miracle, grow.
And the tree continued to growand grow and grow this is
ridiculous.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (19:35):
That night the witches came.
Two of them were, as you mighthave guessed, snakes who crawled
down the face of the cliff toRed Flower to push him off onto
the rocks below, but Red Flowersprinkled them with the herb
juice weird and both of themfell dead.
Micah (Knob Twister) (19:55):
that's some potent herb juice I bet it
had like hot peppers in it orsomething it's hemlock, hemlock
away down into the canyon.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (20:04):
Oh, they fell.
Oh then the other witches wereafraid and ran away.
Bye-bye witches.
Micah (Knob Twister) (20:11):
The next morning the tree had grown up to
where Red Flower was lying.
Chipmunk came early and ran upthe tree, but the top bent under
his weight.
He ran down four times,chanting, and each time the tree
grew stronger and stronger,until after the fourth time it
was strong enough to hold up RedFlower.
(20:33):
Come on, said the chipmunk tohim.
Grandmother Spider's waiting forus.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (20:39):
Oh, this is exhausting.
There's so much running andtalking fast, it's wearing me
out.
Micah (Knob Twister) (20:45):
And singing my gosh.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (20:47):
So Chipmunk and red flower climbed
down the pine tree and went tothe spider's village in the
canyon because there was aspider village.
Old grandmother spider met themat her door.
Come in.
She said I have been waiting foryou, and I have a feast already
prepared, ah.
(21:12):
For four days Redflower stayedwith the spiders in their
village that was cramped.
They gave him good food.
Micah (Knob Twister) (21:18):
I wonder if he smashed any of them what
the heck.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (21:22):
You roll over in your sleep and kill half
the village.
They gave him good food and newclothes for Buckskin.
On the fourth day, grandmotherSpider said to him it is time
now for you to go back to yourhome.
Take the shiny disc with you andwear it on your breast Weird.
(21:42):
When your wife sees you and begsfor it roll it onto her and she
will receive her justpunishment.
Now goodbye to you.
No soup for you.
So he's gonna put a shiny discon his breast.
Micah (Knob Twister) (22:01):
So Redflower set out for his home.
When he drew near, someone sawhim and called to Whitecorn.
Your lost husband's returninghome again and.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (22:13):
Red Flower walked over and punched him in
the mouth.
Micah (Knob Twister) (22:16):
White Corn , with her two sisters who had
been helping her to grind corn,ran out of her house.
They saw the wonderful shiningcircle on his breast.
Oh, please give that shinycircle to me.
Each one cried.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (22:35):
What's the circle?
We're not going to get to knowwho to are we?
This is a shiny circle.
Micah (Knob Twister) (22:40):
Just a shiny circle.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (22:42):
Is it rock ?
Is it metal?
Is it what is it?
Micah (Knob Twister) (22:47):
Uh, it's obviously shiny and circular and
can be hung from your neck overyour breasts, so it's probably
kind of like a necklace, butwhat comes to mind is the idea
of animals and how they get so,um, emotional, captured by
(23:11):
something shiny, you know, likeum like a raccoon or a crow.
They would find a shiny objecta rat and would want it and put
it in their nest.
So it's just like a piece oftrash.
It's tinfo Probably is, butit's got a magical curse on it.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (23:32):
I'm going with tinfoil.
I cannot give it to all of you,replied the man, but if you
will stand in a row facing me inthe plaza I will roll it toward
you.
It's a huge ball of tinfoil andwhoever catches it may have it.
So the three sisters stood in arow with White Corn in the
center.
He rolled the disc straighttowards White Corn and it struck
(23:53):
the buckskin with which one ofher legs was wrapped.
Immediately she turned into asnake with a shiny head.
Micah (Knob Twister) (24:01):
Oh.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (24:03):
And wiggled, I'm sorry, and wriggled
, which is different thanwiggled hurriedly away.
And ever since that time,rattlesnakes have had shiny
heads.
Micah (Knob Twister) (24:14):
Oh, it makes so much sense now.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (24:18):
I've never gotten close enough to a
rattlesnake to see if its headwas shiny, but I don't think
they are.
Micah (Knob Twister) (24:23):
Seven pages so that we would know how
rattlesnakes got a shiny head.
It's amazing.
You people need to lay off thepuppies, talking about bringing
a story together with a greatconclusion.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (24:40):
And there it.
Well, now we know, but I stilldon't know what the shiny stuff
was.
But okay, it was good, that wasa good one.
Seemed to drag on a bit, but ifyou really think about it, this
is a tale they told at nightbedtime story around the fire.
You don't want like three pagesor half a page.
There was a witch that gotsmacked with a piece of tinfoil
(25:03):
and that's why snakes have shinyheads.
They have the whole thing.
They're probably dancing intheir suits.
Hmm, that was terribly racist.
I apologize.
Micah (Knob Twister) (25:11):
What Like around the campfire, yeah, and
singing.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (25:16):
Dancing in their suits.
Micah (Knob Twister) (25:17):
Hmm.
We'd like to thank Miracle Growwho, uh what.
We would like to thank MiracleGrow for sponsoring this episode
.
And the Wicked Witch of theWest for letting us use her
poppy fields yes, without it wewouldn't have been able to
(25:38):
digest this story, but we willdigest the yummy tomatoes that
our Miracle Grow will help,that's gotta be so bad for you
pouring chemicals all over it'snot.
It's all minerals.
What you need to do is get achipmunk Chipmunk To poop on my
tomatoes, to run up and downthem.
(25:58):
Oh yeah, singing that magicalsong and then just grow, grow,
grow, grow, grow, grow, grow,and a magic spider and a
chipmunk.
That's all you need, becausethen I would have big tomatoes
and I'd have endless water andcorn mush.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (26:12):
Sounds good to me.
Micah (Knob Twister) (26:14):
Corn mush.
We could make like little likecorn tortillas, and then put
tomato paste all over them andcall them Mexican pizzas.
We don't say that word.
What Mexican Racist.
Why it's a country south ofwhere we live.
They're Americans.
(26:35):
No, I'm pretty sure when you goto Mexico they say that they're
Mexicans.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (26:41):
It's on the continent of America.
They're Americans, oh snap.
Micah (Knob Twister) (26:47):
Okay, well , I still think they identify as
Mexicans, but I have no ideawhat we're talking about.
I don't know either.
So before we get ourselves intoo much more trouble and start
yet another Mexican-American war, Wow.
We're just going to go aheadand say hey, if you liked what
(27:07):
you heard, pass it on to afriend or family member.
And you know what?
We haven't heard from anybodyfor a real long time.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (27:15):
I got a tweeter.
Micah (Knob Twister) (27:16):
You could comment on our website at
TalesOfBethlehemcom, you cantweet me.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (27:23):
I got a tweet.
I finally got a tweet.
Micah (Knob Twister) (27:26):
What did it say?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (27:27):
It was a question about Shrew Peter.
Really yeah.
Micah (Knob Twister) (27:30):
And what did they say?
They?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (27:31):
wanted to know if we had the entire
edition or well what was it?
Micah (Knob Twister) (27:37):
Did you tell them to check the show
notes, because there is a linkthere to the entire book?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (27:41):
I will now .
Micah (Knob Twister) (27:43):
So if you're a listening listener and
you still want to check out thatbook in full, go to our website
at talesofbedlamcom.
Go to the show notes and checkout the show notes for Stroll
Peter and there is a link therefor the entire book.
You're welcome.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (28:00):
Okay.
Thank you, sir, good night, I'mout.
Bye-bye now.
Micah (Knob Twister) (28:06):
I'm going to go find me a rainbow.
I'll make it stop.
Vote for me.
I will do away with daylightsavings time, because it's
idiotic 2020.
Micah (Knob Twister) (00:11):
Welcome to Tales of Bedlam.
I'm your host, Knob Twister.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (00:16):
Well, hello there.
Micah (Knob Twister) (00:18):
That would be Sofa Sitter.
This is our final tale forNovember.
What Whoop-de-doo what fate ofthe witch wife witch.
This is a native american tale,again collected by elizabeth
willis de huff.
De huff de huff, whose mother'sname was anne boyd wilson
(00:43):
willis.
That was awesome.
They had way too much time ontheir hands, or something whose
mother's name was Anne BoydWilson Willis.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (00:46):
That was a statement.
That's awesome.
They had way too much time ontheir hands, or something.
Willis, what you talking about,willis?
Micah (Knob Twister) (00:53):
Today's tale, the Fate of the Witch Wife
.
Let's get started A long timeago.
How long ago?
At least 200 years, okay Awoman named White Corn spent all
her days cooking.
As it should be Sexist, shewould cook piles of food that
(01:18):
she never offered to her husband, as it not should be.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (01:22):
That is a crime.
Micah (Knob Twister) (01:23):
She was a witch, red Flower, the husband,
okay, but since the food alwaysdisappeared, red Flower began to
wonder Hmm, what became of it?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (01:36):
Was he kind of slow?
He began to wonder.
I think after the first timeshe took piles of food and I
didn't get any and then it wasgone.
I would wonder I wouldn't beginto wonder.
So one evening he decided thathe would watch the piles of food
these people Like a hawk.
I wonder if he was hiding behindthe letter and see where it
(01:58):
went.
He took off his moccasins Veryimportant At bedtime and laid
down as usual on his blanketsYep, then he pretended to go to
sleep With one eye open.
Whitecorn waited until shethought he was asleep, then she
(02:19):
took out her eyes.
She took out her eyes.
She plucked them out with aspoon Put them under her eyes.
Micah (Knob Twister) (02:28):
She took out her eyes.
She plucked them out with aspoon, put them under her
blankets.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (02:32):
Put owl's eyes in their place.
Micah (Knob Twister) (02:34):
So she could see at night.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (02:36):
Weird and then put an ear of corn down on
the blankets beside Red Flower,because he would never know that
she was gone if there was anear of corn there, right?
Micah (Knob Twister) (02:46):
Well, it's an ear of corn.
Someone to listen to what it'san ear of corn.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (02:55):
In case he wanted somebody to talk to.
Micah (Knob Twister) (02:56):
Yeah.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (02:57):
It was all ears.
Micah (Knob Twister) (02:59):
Corn Wait.
Corn she said If Red Flowershould say anything to me during
the night, answer for me.
Oh my God.
After that she put all the foodshe had cooked into a basket
and went out.
So it's like a On the town.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (03:17):
It's like a walkie-talkie corn.
Micah (Knob Twister) (03:19):
No, it's just an ear of corn.
It's going to talk to me whatis going on.
It's a good ear of corn.
It's going to talk to me whatis going on.
It's a good listener.
Okay, outside.
An owl met her.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (03:32):
I hope that wasn't the one she took the
eyes from.
Micah (Knob Twister) (03:34):
And the two walked away across the
prairie together.
Unless the owl is her Spiritanimal.
Yeah, her familiar, herfamiliar.
What a witch, what a witch.
She's such a witch Spiritanimal.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (03:43):
Yeah, her familiar, her familiar.
What a witch.
Micah (Knob Twister) (03:45):
What a witch she's, such a witch, that
witch She'd have?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (03:50):
I mean, wow Cursing.
You'd think she'd have a jar ofwater or something to put her
eyes in, not just under thepillow.
They're going to get alldrained out and gross.
Micah (Knob Twister) (03:58):
Oh yeah, Like some saline.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (04:01):
Yeah, like with saline, yeah, like with
the little denture drops in them.
Micah (Knob Twister) (04:03):
oh yeah, and get nice and clean, yeah
just because when she comes back, they're gonna be really hard
to put in they're gonna be allgot oh yuck dusty and that's
just disgusting.
Definitely a good bite, but Iwould really like some owl eyes.
That'd be pretty cool, so likeat night time you could just pop
(04:25):
in your owl eyes and you havenight vision.
How awesome would that be.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (04:30):
Sounds exhausting.
Micah (Knob Twister) (04:31):
Swap out your eyeballs.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (04:34):
I'm not ever awake at night, so I
wouldn't know.
I go to sleep like normalpeople.
Micah (Knob Twister) (04:39):
I'm kind of sad for this guy.
I mean, he ain't getting nofood.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (04:44):
And he's named Red Flower flower and
she's cheating on him with anowl well, with a name like that,
it's probably a pushover youare are there red daisies uh
like, yeah, there's red flowersthat look like daisy so he's
just a pushover.
What do they call them?
I do know, but I can't think ofthat.
Micah (Knob Twister) (05:05):
Poppies Red poppies.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (05:08):
So he was just dreaming it all.
He was into the poppies.
Micah (Knob Twister) (05:12):
That's it, dustin, you've got it figured
out.
None of this is reallyhappening, because who could
really pull their eyes out andput owl eyeballs in?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (05:21):
Yeah, put the poppies down.
Red flower it's gone too far.
We've gone off topic.
We haven't got through half thepage yet.
Red flower jumped up off hisblanket and followed them.
After a long walk, they wentinto a cave where there were
many other people, all withowl's eyes.
It's like some eyes wide shut.
(05:41):
Nonsense, for they were all,all witches.
Everybody was a witch.
The witches had taken off theirblankets and they went into the
cave Naked witches and thrownthem into a big pile by the door
.
Well, it's a witch blanketparty.
This is getting weird and we'renot even off the first page yet
(06:01):
.
They take off their blanketsand went into the cave, threw
them in a big pile by the door.
Micah (Knob Twister) (06:06):
Red.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (06:06):
Flower slipped quietly into the cave
and hid under the blankets.
Good thinking, red Flower.
Nice job, no one will see youthere.
What happened to the cornduring all of this?
Nobody knows.
He's still listening.
Micah (Knob Twister) (06:17):
Very soon.
The chief witch.
Hey, hey, oh, very soon.
The chief witch called thecouncil to order.
Ha, he cried.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (06:27):
I smell fresh blood.
I smell human flesh.
Creepy Fee, fie foe fom.
There is a man inside.
Let us find him.
Micah (Knob Twister) (06:41):
And so the witches began to look
everywhere for the man.
They discovered Red Flowerunder the blankets and pulled
him out.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (06:51):
So they're in a big cave with a pile of
blankets.
Micah (Knob Twister) (06:56):
Where else would he?
be?
Where else would he hide?
I guess maybe behind astalagmite, maybe, I don't know.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:07):
Too bad they didn't have a ladder.
Micah (Knob Twister) (07:10):
Yes, because it's very good to hide
behind.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:13):
Why do you hide, brother?
Micah (Knob Twister) (07:16):
Said the chief witch, you are welcome to
our council.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:21):
But first you must bring to us the heart
of a person whom you love bestof all in the world?
Micah (Knob Twister) (07:29):
Obviously, it's not his wife.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:30):
That is the price you must pay for
having come among us Hurry andreturn with a before day break.
His wife was in this party,right, yeah, okay.
Micah (Knob Twister) (07:43):
Naked with all the other ones.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (07:44):
Redflower went away very sad.
He dared not disobey thewitches, for it would mean
torture and death for him to doso.
He loved his sister better thananyone else and he could not
kill her in order to take herheart to the witches.
What must he do when heremembered his big red rooster?
Oh my god, he hated to kill redrooster.
(08:06):
Oh my god, he hated to kill hisrooster.
But he had to carry a freshlybleeding heart to the witches,
because the witches don't knowthe difference between a rooster
heart and a human heart.
I mean, who does so?
He went to the chicken houseand killed him.
Micah (Knob Twister) (08:19):
Well, if you deal with a lot of human
hearts, I would assume that youwould See the differences.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (08:26):
Well, one of them's probably kind of small
, not necessarily.
Micah (Knob Twister) (08:30):
First of all, he does say a big red
rooster and if you go back toHans the Hedgehog, he was riding
around a horse-sized rooster.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (08:41):
No, I thought we determined that he
was small.
Micah (Knob Twister) (08:44):
No, because he was the size of a man
.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (08:49):
So Redflower has Hans the
Hedgehog's rooster?
Micah (Knob Twister) (08:52):
Yes, and he killed it All the way from
Germany, killed it, cut itsheart out or it's just like a
cousin to that rooster.
It's a strain of super largered roosters.
They no longer grow in thisworld Because could you imagine
the size of the breasts and thelegs?
(09:13):
Sounds delicious.
The chicken wings would be asbig as your leg.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (09:18):
That's fine with me.
However big the rooster was,it's dead now.
When he returned to the witch'scave with the heart, there were
other new members there withfleshly bleeding hearts.
Well, they were just outrecruiting.
Micah (Knob Twister) (09:33):
A lot of people died that night, or
chickens.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (09:38):
Now that you have brought the hearts of
the persons whom you love best,said the chief witch.
Micah (Knob Twister) (09:44):
You must be initiated into our order by
going with us under the rainbowat the end of the cave.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (09:54):
What a weird thing, poppies.
There is definitely some drugs.
Someone was in the peyote.
They're going under the rainbow.
Micah (Knob Twister) (10:03):
At the end of the cave If there is a pot
of gold.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (10:06):
I'm done.
The witch is all formed in lineand passed under the rainbow.
Oh yeah, there can't be arainbow in a cave.
If there is a pot of gold, I'mdone.
The witches all formed in lineand passed under the rainbow.
Oh yeah, there can't be arainbow in a cave.
Each witch turned, don't youargue with?
Micah (Knob Twister) (10:17):
me, there has to be light.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (10:19):
Each witch turned into an animal.
They were coyotes, foxes, bears, hawks and owls, and let's just
guess when Red Flower passedunder, he became a rooster.
Micah (Knob Twister) (10:31):
That's not what it says.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (10:33):
There was a typo on mine.
Mine says coyote.
Micah (Knob Twister) (10:36):
I know that in the Native American
tales a coyote often representedlike a trickster or the devil,
or death sometimes.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (10:45):
Why didn't he become a?
Micah (Knob Twister) (10:46):
rooster?
No, he became a coyote.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (10:48):
I understand that, but why he had
a rooster.
No, he became a coyote, Iunderstand that, but why he had
a rooster heart moving along.
Now animals and friends.
Micah (Knob Twister) (10:56):
Let us test the new hearts and the
chief witch took a sharp stickand thrust it into each of the
newly brought in hearts.
The other hearts cried out likehumans in agony.
Oh lord warn me, but RedFlower's heart squawked like a
(11:16):
rooster.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (11:19):
That was sad.
Micah (Knob Twister) (11:26):
Good job.
He has, he he.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (11:32):
I'm gonna kill you again.
Micah (Knob Twister) (11:34):
He has deceived us cried one of the
witches.
All of the witches.
He has deceived us, cried allof the witches, but they went on
with their ceremonies.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (11:45):
What they just ignored it.
Micah (Knob Twister) (11:47):
What the heck?
Who cares?
So what if he broke the rules?
After a short time, however,the witches told Redflower that
he might go to sleep, since hewas not yet accustomed to
staying awake all night.
What happens?
So they fixed a bed of blanketsfor him and he went to sleep.
Really, he's falling for that.
I would be like you know what Ithink I think I had enough fun
(12:11):
tonight with the rainbows andthe bleeding hearts I think I'll
just go home I'm good, I'lljust have a.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (12:18):
You guys are great, give me a cappuccino
I'll be fine, I agree with that.
He and he went right to sleepwow, it's drugs.
While red flower was asleep,the witches took him and laid
him on a narrow shelf of rockhalfway down a steep cliff.
Oh, at the grand canyon yeah,and left him do it.
(12:39):
That's not good.
When red flower woke and foundhimself in such a perilous
position, he could not even moveor he would have fallen off the
rocks Fallen off.
Onto the rocks far below, hebegan to mournfully sing oh yeah
(13:01):
, mother sister, she will harmme, mother sister, she will harm
me, mother sister, she willtake my heart out.
Does that sing it mournful?
It will kill me to take myheart out, white corn will harm
(13:28):
me.
Micah (Knob Twister) (13:31):
I punch your face.
You missed your calling.
You should record an album.
I should, not.
The Little Chipmunks, I love it.
The next sentence starts thelittle chipmunks.
Make me sing that horriblestuff.
And then you get to read thelittle chipmunks.
The little chipmunks in theirvillage, among the cliffs, heard
(13:51):
red flowers singing.
They ran out of their houses insuch a hurry or maybe a scurry
to see what the noise was thatthey ran over grandmother
chipmunks freshly molded potteryand spoiled it all what the
hell.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (14:09):
These are some well-trained chipmunks.
That's some little pots.
Go, said Grandmother Chipmunkto one of the chipmunk boys and
see who that is in trouble.
Perhaps we may be able to helphim.
Micah (Knob Twister) (14:24):
So Alvin, simon and Theodore ran up the
cliff.
To Wow, Alvin, simon andTheodore ran up the cliff to Wow
, wow, alvin, wow.
So Alvin, simon and Theodore ranup the cliff to Redflower.
Redflower told him what hadhappened and the chipmunk
(14:44):
hurried down into the canyon toGrandmother Spider.
Oh my gosh, this is amazing,because I want to live in a
world where I can canyon toGrandmother Spider.
Oh my gosh, this is amazing,because I want to live in a
world where I can talk tochipmunks and spiders and go
under rainbows and caves andturn into other animals.
Oh, you need some poppies, dude, you can grow your own.
Grandmother Spider he said thewitches have left the red flower
(15:07):
on the ledge of rock to die.
What shall we do?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter (15:11):
Grandmother Spider hurried into the house
and brought out an acorn ofwater that's a weird way to
measure water and an acorn cupof cornmeal mush.
Didn't we have a native storybefore where they were eating
mush of an acorn?
Micah (Knob Twister) (15:26):
Out of a thimble, out of a thimble right,
and it was a.
It was grandmother spider whodid it true, dad?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (15:34):
first of all she said take this to him
and tell him to eat.
Then come back to me.
Chipmunk took the acorns to redFlower.
Oh, Chipmunk, I am starving.
This will not even be a tastefor me, but I thank you just the
same.
It sounded Irish.
Micah (Knob Twister) (15:56):
Or Scottish Well, there was a
rainbow.
It's true, it's true.
Grandmother Spider says eat itreplied Chipmunk, and then he
ran back to the spider village.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (16:08):
It's just crack Chipmunks.
I can just see the spidervillage Just crack Chipmunks.
I can just see the chipmunks oncrack Redflower ate and ate and
drank and drank until he hadplenty and still, oh, the acorn
cup and the acorn were full ofmush and water Magic stuff.
Micah (Knob Twister) (16:26):
Magical.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (16:27):
I've got to find me a spider that has one
of these.
When Chipmunk returned, hebrought with him a pine needle.
That's not what that says.
He brought with him a pine seed.
He dropped it straight down tothe bottom of the canyon from
the shelf where Red Flower was,and immediately a pine tree
began to grow.
Micah (Knob Twiste (16:46):
Whoop-de-doo Nice, the witches will come
this evening the chipmunk anddrop food down from above.
They want you to write tokitchen so that you will fall
off and be killed.
Grandmother spider says for youto shut your eyes and pretend
to be asleep when they come anddo not reach out for the food
they drop sure enough, thatevening the witches came and
(17:06):
dropped buckskin bags of fooddown the cliff.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (17:09):
Was this all the food that White Corn was
cooking before?
Micah (Knob Twister) (17:12):
Yeah, probably.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (17:13):
But Red Flower kept perfectly still
until they went away.
Micah (Knob Twister) (17:18):
The next day, Chipmunk brought fresh food
.
Beware the witches againtonight he said they ran up and
down the growing pine tree,chanting a song as he ran, and
the tree grew and grew.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (17:32):
I wonder what that song was.
This is just getting weird.
Miracle grow.
No, we don't need to sing.
Micah (Knob Twister) (17:38):
Miracle grow.
Mix it with some water Pour iton the roots Miracle grow.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (17:44):
I very much doubt that the native
chipmunks use miracle grow.
Micah (Knob Twister) (17:49):
Well, how did they make everything?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (17:51):
grow so well back then.
Micah (Knob Twister) (17:52):
Chipmunk poop, chipmunk poop, really yeah
, it's good fertilizer.
I remember hearing a story thatthey put dead fish in with the
seed to grow the corn.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (18:04):
I don't know.
I guess it depends on whichtribe of natives you are.
Micah (Knob Twister) (18:07):
It's like fertilizer, disgusting, kind of
like Miracle-Gro, but it stinks.
Yeah that's awful yeah.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter (18:14):
Miracle-Gro Then your corn tastes like fish
.
The witches came again thatnight and dropped more food over
the cliff, but Red Flower kepthis eyes closed.
He heard Chief Witch say IsChief Witch a girl or a boy?
Micah (Knob Twister) (18:31):
I'm assuming it's a girl.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (18:32):
It is strange that Red Flower is not
hungry.
He does not even try to catchthe food he is not dead for.
I can smell his fresh blood.
I thought he was a coyote.
Let us plant some other way toget rid of him.
I think he lost his coyote.
Micah (Knob Twister) (18:47):
I didn't explain that You're right,
because think he lost his coyote.
I didn't explain that.
You're right, Because if he wasa coyote still he'd probably
eat the chipmunk.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (18:54):
Delicious.
Let us plan some other way toget rid of him.
And the witches went away.
Micah (Knob Twister) (19:02):
The third day, chipmunk came again with
food from grandmother spider.
This time he brought with himsome herb medicine.
The witches will come tonight assnakes said the chipmunk.
And we'll crawl down and try topush you off this ledge.
Take this herb juice when thewitches come down, sprinkle it
on them.
Then chipmunk ran up and downthe big pine tree chanting his
(19:25):
little song, miracle, grow.
And the tree continued to growand grow and grow this is
ridiculous.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (19:35):
That night the witches came.
Two of them were, as you mighthave guessed, snakes who crawled
down the face of the cliff toRed Flower to push him off onto
the rocks below, but Red Flowersprinkled them with the herb
juice weird and both of themfell dead.
Micah (Knob Twister) (19:55):
that's some potent herb juice I bet it
had like hot peppers in it orsomething it's hemlock, hemlock
away down into the canyon.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (20:04):
Oh, they fell.
Oh then the other witches wereafraid and ran away.
Bye-bye witches.
Micah (Knob Twister) (20:11):
The next morning the tree had grown up to
where Red Flower was lying.
Chipmunk came early and ran upthe tree, but the top bent under
his weight.
He ran down four times,chanting, and each time the tree
grew stronger and stronger,until after the fourth time it
was strong enough to hold up RedFlower.
(20:33):
Come on, said the chipmunk tohim.
Grandmother Spider's waiting forus.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (20:39):
Oh, this is exhausting.
There's so much running andtalking fast, it's wearing me
out.
Micah (Knob Twister) (20:45):
And singing my gosh.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (20:47):
So Chipmunk and red flower climbed
down the pine tree and went tothe spider's village in the
canyon because there was aspider village.
Old grandmother spider met themat her door.
Come in.
She said I have been waiting foryou, and I have a feast already
prepared, ah.
(21:12):
For four days Redflower stayedwith the spiders in their
village that was cramped.
They gave him good food.
Micah (Knob Twister) (21:18):
I wonder if he smashed any of them what
the heck.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (21:22):
You roll over in your sleep and kill half
the village.
They gave him good food and newclothes for Buckskin.
On the fourth day, grandmotherSpider said to him it is time
now for you to go back to yourhome.
Take the shiny disc with you andwear it on your breast Weird.
(21:42):
When your wife sees you and begsfor it roll it onto her and she
will receive her justpunishment.
Now goodbye to you.
No soup for you.
So he's gonna put a shiny discon his breast.
Micah (Knob Twister) (22:01):
So Redflower set out for his home.
When he drew near, someone sawhim and called to Whitecorn.
Your lost husband's returninghome again and.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (22:13):
Red Flower walked over and punched him in
the mouth.
Micah (Knob Twister) (22:16):
White Corn , with her two sisters who had
been helping her to grind corn,ran out of her house.
They saw the wonderful shiningcircle on his breast.
Oh, please give that shinycircle to me.
Each one cried.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (22:35):
What's the circle?
We're not going to get to knowwho to are we?
This is a shiny circle.
Micah (Knob Twister) (22:40):
Just a shiny circle.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (22:42):
Is it rock ?
Is it metal?
Is it what is it?
Micah (Knob Twister) (22:47):
Uh, it's obviously shiny and circular and
can be hung from your neck overyour breasts, so it's probably
kind of like a necklace, butwhat comes to mind is the idea
of animals and how they get so,um, emotional, captured by
(23:11):
something shiny, you know, likeum like a raccoon or a crow.
They would find a shiny objecta rat and would want it and put
it in their nest.
So it's just like a piece oftrash.
It's tinfo Probably is, butit's got a magical curse on it.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (23:32):
I'm going with tinfoil.
I cannot give it to all of you,replied the man, but if you
will stand in a row facing me inthe plaza I will roll it toward
you.
It's a huge ball of tinfoil andwhoever catches it may have it.
So the three sisters stood in arow with White Corn in the
center.
He rolled the disc straighttowards White Corn and it struck
(23:53):
the buckskin with which one ofher legs was wrapped.
Immediately she turned into asnake with a shiny head.
Micah (Knob Twister) (24:01):
Oh.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (24:03):
And wiggled, I'm sorry, and wriggled
, which is different thanwiggled hurriedly away.
And ever since that time,rattlesnakes have had shiny
heads.
Micah (Knob Twister) (24:14):
Oh, it makes so much sense now.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (24:18):
I've never gotten close enough to a
rattlesnake to see if its headwas shiny, but I don't think
they are.
Micah (Knob Twister) (24:23):
Seven pages so that we would know how
rattlesnakes got a shiny head.
It's amazing.
You people need to lay off thepuppies, talking about bringing
a story together with a greatconclusion.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (24:40):
And there it.
Well, now we know, but I stilldon't know what the shiny stuff
was.
But okay, it was good, that wasa good one.
Seemed to drag on a bit, but ifyou really think about it, this
is a tale they told at nightbedtime story around the fire.
You don't want like three pagesor half a page.
There was a witch that gotsmacked with a piece of tinfoil
(25:03):
and that's why snakes have shinyheads.
They have the whole thing.
They're probably dancing intheir suits.
Hmm, that was terribly racist.
I apologize.
Micah (Knob Twister) (25:11):
What Like around the campfire, yeah, and
singing.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (25:16):
Dancing in their suits.
Micah (Knob Twister) (25:17):
Hmm.
We'd like to thank Miracle Growwho, uh what.
We would like to thank MiracleGrow for sponsoring this episode
.
And the Wicked Witch of theWest for letting us use her
poppy fields yes, without it wewouldn't have been able to
(25:38):
digest this story, but we willdigest the yummy tomatoes that
our Miracle Grow will help,that's gotta be so bad for you
pouring chemicals all over it'snot.
It's all minerals.
What you need to do is get achipmunk Chipmunk To poop on my
tomatoes, to run up and downthem.
(25:58):
Oh yeah, singing that magicalsong and then just grow, grow,
grow, grow, grow, grow, grow,and a magic spider and a
chipmunk.
That's all you need, becausethen I would have big tomatoes
and I'd have endless water andcorn mush.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (26:12):
Sounds good to me.
Micah (Knob Twister) (26:14):
Corn mush.
We could make like little likecorn tortillas, and then put
tomato paste all over them andcall them Mexican pizzas.
We don't say that word.
What Mexican Racist.
Why it's a country south ofwhere we live.
They're Americans.
(26:35):
No, I'm pretty sure when you goto Mexico they say that they're
Mexicans.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (26:41):
It's on the continent of America.
They're Americans, oh snap.
Micah (Knob Twister) (26:47):
Okay, well , I still think they identify as
Mexicans, but I have no ideawhat we're talking about.
I don't know either.
So before we get ourselves intoo much more trouble and start
yet another Mexican-American war, Wow.
We're just going to go aheadand say hey, if you liked what
(27:07):
you heard, pass it on to afriend or family member.
And you know what?
We haven't heard from anybodyfor a real long time.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (27:15):
I got a tweeter.
Micah (Knob Twister) (27:16):
You could comment on our website at
TalesOfBethlehemcom, you cantweet me.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (27:23):
I got a tweet.
I finally got a tweet.
Micah (Knob Twister) (27:26):
What did it say?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (27:27):
It was a question about Shrew Peter.
Really yeah.
Micah (Knob Twister) (27:30):
And what did they say?
They?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (27:31):
wanted to know if we had the entire
edition or well what was it?
Micah (Knob Twister) (27:37):
Did you tell them to check the show
notes, because there is a linkthere to the entire book?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (27:41):
I will now .
Micah (Knob Twister) (27:43):
So if you're a listening listener and
you still want to check out thatbook in full, go to our website
at talesofbedlamcom.
Go to the show notes and checkout the show notes for Stroll
Peter and there is a link therefor the entire book.
You're welcome.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter) (28:00):
Okay.
Thank you, sir, good night, I'mout.
Bye-bye now.
Micah (Knob Twister) (28:06):
I'm going to go find me a rainbow.
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