#89 Stephen Morris - Army Veteran Turned Leadership Coach - Tales of Leadership

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to the Tales of Leadership podcast.
This podcast is for leaders atany phase on their leadership
journey to become a morepurposeful and accountable
leader what I like to call a pal.
Join me on our journey togethertowards transformational
leadership.
Hey, welcome back to the Talesof Leadership podcast.

(00:22):
I am your host, josh McMillian,an active duty army officer and
the founder of McMillianLeadership Coaching, and I am on
a mission to create a betterleader what I like to call a PAL
a Purposeful, accountableLeader and my vision is to
positively impact 1 millionlives in the next 10 years

(00:44):
Actually, now it's nine years,which is crazy to think about
and I plan to do that by sharingtransformational stories and
skills.
Today is going to be a storyfrom a purposeful, accountable
leader Stephen Morris.
Stephen is a passionate andexperienced leader with over 21
years of combined service in themilitary and the corporate

(01:08):
sector.
As a United States Army veteran, stephen has commanded and led
in combat and non-combatdeployments across the globe,
honing a deep understanding ofleadership under pressure, in
chaos.
After transitioning to civilianlife, he faced a lot of demons
and challenges of adapting to anew work environment and found

(01:30):
his calling as a leadershipdevelopment and career coach.
Drawing inspiration from theexceptional leaders who shaped
his journey, he founded RenownedLeadership, a platform
dedicated to helping individualsat all levels, from CEOs to
team leaders, enhance theirleadership skills and career

(01:51):
strategies.
Stephen believes in developingauthentic leaders with
unwavering character andintegrity, guiding them towards
becoming leaders whom everyoneis eager to follow.
Leaders whom everyone is eagerto follow.
This is a phenomenal story andStephen gets really vulnerable
about some of the demons that hehad to face, but Stephen is a

(02:12):
purposeful, accountable leader.
Let's go ahead and bring him onthe show and, as always, make
sure you stay to the end, and Iwill provide you what the top
three takeaways are from thisepisode.
Let's jump right in, stephen.
Welcome to the Tales ofleadership podcast, brother.
How you doing.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
I'm fantastic dude, put some music back on for a
little bit.
Man, I was jamming.
I like that little intro musicbro yeah, that's.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
Uh, it's funny like you kind of like to Center
yourself right like that.
That kind of like gets me inthe right state of mind to to
start doing a jam session.
It's funny too because, like Irecently started talking about,
like you know, podcasting.
I call them like jam sessionsnow because there's really like
no kind of like strict bat flowor like rhythm to it.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
It's kind of we're just fluid state of just talking
about things that we love Ilove it, man, and you know, and
all my podcasting, like thoseare the ones that really, like
you can tell whenever it'sscripted, when I've had to
script it, and whenever it'sjust we're riffing it, we're
just having fun having a goodconversation, you know, between

(03:17):
a couple of cool dudes thatbrings value to people's lives,
like you know.
That that's whenever peoplelike really enjoy it.
That's when I enjoy doing it.
Um, yeah, totally, I'm with you.
100,.
That's whenever people likereally enjoy it.
That's when I enjoy doing it,yeah, totally.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
I'm with you 100%, Like let's crush it, bro, or
sorry, other guests, in terms ofbeing on the podcast and you're
one of those kind of likereferrals to like hey, you need
to reach out to Steven becausehe's a phenomenal leader and we

(03:51):
were able to connect really thisweek through Chris, which was
that was a great episode.
So I'm really excited to seelike how that evolution kind of
grew and then maybe if you couldtell any dirty secrets,
rightris um, man.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
So, man, how did I meet?
So I've known chris for alittle, about a year and a half
now and, uh, we had hired well,I had hired a coach, um to help
me start my company and start mybusiness, and the coach I hired
happened to have business, andthe coach I hired happened to

(04:30):
have an online program to helpkind of do the same thing.
But it's cheaper because youdon't actually have the coach Um
, and I just met Chris throughthe forums there and he was like
hey, I'm doing this, you'redoing that kind of let's have a
meeting and talk.
And I won't lie to you, man,the first time I met chris I
didn't like him.
It took me probably.
It took me probably like threeor four months before I actually
liked chris, and I've told himthat.

(04:52):
So it's not, it's not a surprise, but I don't know.
There's just something abouthim.
It took me a while to like warmup to him and, um, I think it
was just because he was so in myface.
I say that wrong.
I don't want people to get thewrong impression but Chris and I
we had started talking aboutspirituality and being a

(05:13):
Christian and our beliefs andthings like that, and Chris was
just like you know, he wasn'tbacking down If he disagreed
with me, he wasn't shy and it'slike man, this guy's abrasive,
and so I think that that's whatkind of what put me off of him a
little bit.
But my wife kept pushing metowards him for some reason Like

(05:35):
you should talk to that guy,chris, like you know just kind
of kept kind of nudging me totalk to Chris.
Finally, I broke down andreached out to Chris because I
needed help with something.
And, man, chris is like one ofmy best friends.
Now I go to him for just abouteverything.
If I need advice, first personI run to is Chris.

(05:56):
I had a bad day.
First person I text is Chris.
He's just an all-around gooddude and if y'all don't know who
we're talking about, his nameis Chris Granger.
And, um, if y'all, if y'alldon't know who we're talking
about, his name is Chris Granger.
Um, he has a podcast called theline within us websites line
withinus.
Go check him out.
He is a great dude and, uh,he's easy to get ahold of and
he'll help anyone that asked himto help him.

Speaker 1 (06:16):
That's the thing that that I love man is.
When we surround ourselves withindividuals that kind of like
challenge us, we grow kind of ina good way.
So I can resonate with that isthat there's some individuals
you know in my life that I had ahard time kind of wanting to at
least initially, you knowestablish contact with, not

(06:36):
because I didn't necessarilywant to hang out with them, but
they would challenge me and theywould kind of hip check me to
be like, hey, are you doing whatyou said you're going to do in
terms of like starting a podcast, for example, as a part of like
a mastermind veteran group, andsometimes Sundays, when that
kind of the days roll around,I'm like I don't know if I want
to do this.
It's not that I don't want todo it, it's that maybe I didn't

(06:59):
do what I was supposed to dothat week and they're going to
kind of hold me accountable andand call me out.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
But I would love to start, brother, like just take
the time to provide an overviewto the listeners of who is
steven yeah, man, so steven, uh,I was born in ireland, got
adopted when I was a year old,came to old great indiana, uh,
to live with my adoptive parents, and you know I joke, that's

(07:26):
actually where I live nowIndianapolis, indiana and I joke
about it just being a completehorrible place to live and grow
up.
But in hindsight, man, likeit's home and I love it here and
it's a great place.
So, anyway, I grew up here, Igrew up farming, grew up working
my butt off, and so August 2001rolled around.

(07:49):
I was 18, raised my right hand,joined the army.
About three weeks later, sometools decided to fly into some
buildings of ours and we were inwar for the next 20 years, next
20 years, and so the next 16and a half years of my life I
spent in the army just goingback and forth between Iraq,

(08:10):
afghanistan, you know, the U S,europe, africa, travel.
I've literally traveled theworld.
It was a great time in 2013.
I ate.
A couple of rounds to the chestdid some pretty massive damage
to my body.
Fortunately I survived and uh,but ultimately that ended up
ending my career abruptly.
In 2017, I got, uh, what'scalled meb or med boarded from

(08:34):
the army.
It's basically when the army'slike, yeah, you're not
physically fit to serve anymoreand uh, so they ceremoniously
retire you, or unceremoniously,in my case.
And so that was hard, brother,like that was the hardest thing
I've ever gone through.
I tell people I'd rather getshot again 10 times over than go

(08:54):
through that three and a halfyears that it took me to
transition from being a soldierto being a civilian.
And it's still hard.
Like it's been a little oversix years now and it's still
hard.
Sometimes, you know when, youknow what's going on right now
in Israel I don't know when thisis going to air, but what's
going on right now in Israel,with Palestine, that kicking off

(09:16):
, like man that eats me alive,like I want to buy a plane
ticket now and go to Israelbecause I'm a, I'm a warrior,
I'm a soldier and this is what Ido I protect people from from
evil.
And, um, you know, when I seethings like that, it gets, it
gets started, it tries to pullme back into that mentality and

(09:36):
I have to really fight it off.
So, yeah, now I own my owncompany, uh, host my own podcast
, do all kinds of cool stuffpublic speaking, keynote talks,
what's it called uh notemotional, uh oh incident, not
inspirational, good grief, uhmotivational, that's the word,
motivational speeches, stufflike that man dude, when I

(09:59):
talked to you on the phone realthis week, I knew that you were
going to be someone that Ineeded to get on this podcast
One, because we share the samemission in life.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
Right, the whole reason I started this journey is
because I saw soldiers gettingout of the military.
From my lens of how I canaffect change and kind of
prevent soldiers from going downthat dark path is from poor
leadership, because I've seenpoor leaders kind of affect

(10:31):
individual soldiers of wantingto get out of the army.
Great soldiers get out of thearmy just because of one poor
leader and, you know, maybe thatsoldier you know commit suicide
and I feel that I kind offailed them in a way and really
comes down to like a a lack ofpurpose.
So you have that deep purposewhen you're in the military, but

(10:51):
when you transition out of themilitary, you don't and I know
we're going to get into that,dude, but like there's just so
much to kind of unpack there andwhat I would really love to
start you know, where did youthink your leadership journey
started?
Maybe when you first joined theArmy, because one of the things
that you said there did youjoin the Army in August of 2011?

(11:11):
2001.
, or 2001, sorry.
And then, just right after that, september 11th happened Walk
me through that Like you're inbasic training right when that
when that happened yeah, so we,we, our cycle had literally just
picked up.

Speaker 2 (11:30):
Wow so, um, and my drill sergeant, like we're doing
the, you know the, uh, what'sit called?
Um, you get off the bus and youget in the circle oh yeah,
shark attack.

Speaker 1 (11:42):
Yeah, there we go.

Speaker 2 (11:43):
Yeah, yeah, we were literally, we were literally in
the shark attack.
And this drill sergeant, um, Ican't remember his name, but I
can remember his face.
I'm talking.
This dude's probably 6'6,probably 260, 270, not fat, just
beefcake man, just huge.
And he walks up to me and hejust gets right in my face and
like his brown round isliterally touching my forehead

(12:07):
and he is mean and he puts hisknife hand right under my chin
and he said Private, you aregoing to die.
And I just looked at him likethank God I didn't have to pee,
because I'm pretty sure I wouldhave peed my pants right then
and there.
But, like you know, and I tellpeople that story, they're like,
oh, oh, my god, that's horrible, like what a horrible thing to
do some to somebody.

(12:28):
But to me, looking back, likethat was the greatest gift he
ever gave me, because from thatmoment on, like just the way he
said it in his voice and he wasserious, like he thought I was
going to die and I don't know if, like he literally thought that
, but that's what I took from itand it's like oh my God, like

(12:49):
this isn't Call of Duty, likeI'm going to war and I could die
, like I got to take thisserious.
And so it was crazy, man, likeinstantly everybody's demeanor
changed, like it went from beingjust straight aggressive to

(13:10):
like we are 100% preparing youfor war now.
And so, man, it got mean, itgot fast.
I don't really know what tocompare it to, because I never
went to basic training notduring wartime, but I imagine it
was.
It was pretty intense for usanyway, um, but yeah, that's,

(13:30):
that's probably my.
My fondest memory, I guess, ofbasic training was uh, you're
gonna die private, you're goingto die yeah, I think that's like
a switch moment.

Speaker 1 (13:42):
So when I was an observer coach trainer at Fort
Polk, I had the honor to kind ofsee like 28 different rotations
, which is crazy to think aboutbecause that's 28 months, right.
Like I spent more time in atropia than most people probably
deploy now in the military.
But kind of kind of walkingthrough that is, there was

(14:04):
always a distinct differencebetween units, that kind of
given to you based on yourspecific unit and the

(14:26):
qualifications that you need tokind of achieve your mission if
you get deployed.
But there's a switch moment andI could only imagine, like when
you were at basic training atthat time, that there was
probably a switch or arealization that everything that
we're doing now isn't justtraining, it is a life or death
type of event and if we fail weneed to fail here.

(14:49):
So when we do get to our unitscause it was all uncertain I
remember, you know I was in highschool at the time, uh, and I
may or may not you know I was apoor moral character at the time
been playing sick that day.
I said I didn't want to go toschool at the time, been playing
sick that day because I didn'twant to go to school and I
remember that vividly and kindof thinking about man like the

(15:11):
future is so uncertain.
I don't know what this means.
And then you, who you chose toserve selflessly, being in basic
training, kind of going throughthat one very like stressful
state, but then realization islike, oh crap, the world has
just changed, the, the wholedynamics have just changed.
This is no longer just a gameand someone yelling at me.

(15:32):
This is a preparation or a fire, a crucible type event to
purify me, to get ready for the,the game, the live show.
And then that took me a whileto kind of realize Uh, but for
you, dude, you literally had togo through that the first day in
the military, which is crazy.

Speaker 2 (15:52):
Pretty much, man, and you're absolutely right, and I
think you know going back when I, whenever I was uh, uh, uh LRM,
uh instructor uh Fort Knox,watching some of the basic
training units that went throughthere and stuff like thatyou
know they they kind of goofedoff a little bit more.

(16:14):
They are kind of I don't knowthat they're being treated a
little bit different.
I don't know how to explain it,other than kind of what you you
said is my entire company and,I imagine, all the companies
around us at the same time.
We took it like life or death.
Yeah, 100%, because we're inthe ready room watching the

(16:38):
towers fall.
In basic training they didn'tshelter us from it, they didn't.
Pretty much everything went onlockdown and we were in the
ready room with our drill drillsergeants watching the towers
fall and that was the biggestthing.
You know, the like you said,this isn't a game, this is real

(17:00):
and we all took it as real.
So I think my, my basictraining class I don't even
remember what it was now, but mybasic training class I think we
probably took it a little moreserious than most.

Speaker 1 (17:15):
So you get there, you go through basic training, you
get to your unit kind of justwalking through, like how I know
the normal progression goes.
When did you deploy, once youarrived at your unit, for of
just walking through, like how Iknow the normal progression
goes?
When did you deploy, once youarrived at your unit for the
first?

Speaker 2 (17:28):
time, uh, three, almost three months after I got
there, because they were alreadydeployed, so I had to go
through what's it called?
It's like.
It's like a mini jrtc or ntctype thing.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
You know what I'm talking about I know exactly
what you're talking about it.
Basically it's kind of like amini brigade sticks level event
um, yeah, pretty much.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah, what was it called?
I can't remember what it'scalled, but anyway, I had to go
through something like that.
I had to get situated, um,because I, you know, I had a
family, so we had to get themmoved and situated.
And then I met my unit up and,yeah, I was deployed.
So I went from being a civilianto literally what was it?

(18:16):
Six months.
So literally about eight monthsafter I left, I was downrange
fighting.
After I left, I was downrangefighting.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
When did you?
When you first got to your unit?

Speaker 2 (18:31):
kind of have to get forced into a leadership role.
You know, that was weirdbecause they had already been
deployed, they'd already beenfighting, and then this brand
new PFC shows up right, and youknow, slick sleeve.
You know, slick sleeve, youknow no rank, no experience, no,
nothing.
I got treated pretty rough fora while.

(18:51):
Um, they didn't trust me.
It actually took another fullrotation, I would say, before
they finally fully trusted me.
But you know, and given my state, I kind of took it too personal
, I think, um not understanding,because I didn't understand the
dynamic, right, I didn'tunderstand the camaraderie, I

(19:13):
didn't understand the, the temp,I didn't understand all that
stuff.
So for me, you know, looking infrom the outside, I just felt
excluded and I felt unwanted, Iguess, um, but in reality you
know these, looking in from theoutside, I just felt excluded
and I felt unwanted, I guess.
But in reality, you know these,these dudes have been forged in
fire and I hadn't been forgedyet, I hadn't been proven yet.

(19:34):
So totally understand now, butat the time it was pretty rough,
I really hated it.
And then we, we went to throughour our full rotation again, and
that's that's probably when Iwhen they were like, okay, this
dude, he's squared away, heknows his stuff, he can lead,
and as a specialist, I got putinto a team leader role because

(19:55):
one of our NCOs unfortunatelygot killed, and so they gave me
his team and I've been leadingever since I was almost 20 years
old.
It's like a month away, twomonths away from being 20.

Speaker 1 (20:10):
dude.
Um.
So two things with that.
One is, I think, trust.
So I I'm reading a book rightnow, uh, so I read um dare to
lead.
Now I'm reading dare greatlybecause I want to learn.
You know how vulnerability kindof plays in with trust, but I
see that there's there's reallytwo different ways to to build

(20:30):
trust, one of which is time.
You just have to be with peopleand you, and it takes
consistency.
And then that effort, theamount of effort that you put
into things.
But's another level of thatwhich is like vulnerability, not
from the standpoint of whereyou know.
I'm going to tell you all of mydeep little secrets, right, or

(20:51):
I'm just going to complain abouteverything or tell you how
scared I am about stuff, butit's just being authentic and, I
think, genuine, and and I betyou that this is just me being a
betting man, kind of comingfrom the same cloth of when you
had to take over that team.
At that time, after that NCOpassed away, you came in with a

(21:12):
deep sense of humility, whichprobably came off as in a very
vulnerable kind of state notvulnerable how most people think
and you were probably able togain trust rather quickly, I'm
assuming, because people knewwho you were.
You spent time, the amount ofeffort that you're putting into
it probably increased tenfoldand you came into it probably

(21:33):
with just a humble mindset.
But if you don't mind, man, andand if we ever get to a point
where you just don't want totalk about it.
You just let me know and we'llkeep going, because I I
understand that, but walking inthat shoes, how did you?
how did you take over?
You know that squad?
Uh, what was some of your likefirst thoughts?

Speaker 2 (21:53):
well, the first, like sergeant carson and I, we were
really close.
He he's really the one thatkind of molded me from the snot
nose private into a soldier.
He would and he was hard on me.
Man like, I have a lot offour-letter words doing it to
describe him.
He was hard on me but, um man,after he died it was kind of it

(22:20):
was kind of a given.
I in the team that I was goingto take over, like they all just
kind of expected it and I justcarried on exactly how I thought
Sergeant Carson would do andthe team respected that and
you're right, humility played abig part in it.

(22:40):
But I think the most vulnerableI got was I went to every
single one of them and I'm like,look, I have no idea what I'm
doing.
Yeah, like, like y'all got this, like y'all got my back right,
like we were about to go getshot at and I don't know what to
do and you know they all had myback and at that point you know

(23:09):
they all had my back and atthat point you know it's
different, because ego doesn'treally have a place when people
are shooting at your face.
You know, like that's that'snot the time to have ego and I
think everyone understood thatno one cared.
We just cared about getting outof there alive.
And I, man, they, just they.
I wouldn't be the leader I amtoday if I hadn't been for every

(23:30):
single one of those guysbecause they had my back and I
don't know if it was because Iwent to them and almost with
almost a plea of like I needy'all's help, I need y'all to
have my back on this.
Or if it was Sergeant Carson orjust the army in general.
I don't know, but to be honest,I've never actually thought

(23:53):
about that until now.
But a hundred percentvulnerability, you know and it's
funny, I got lit up on LinkedInbecause I wrote an article
about that, about how we need tobe vulnerable as leaders and
everybody, man, I got no goodcomments from it at all.
Everybody's talking about ifthey were vulnerable or whatever
, then you know they would geteaten alive in their corporation

(24:13):
or their company or whatever.
And it's like dude, if that'sthe case, you're in the wrong
place.
Like that should never be thecase.
I should be able to.
And a great story is a goodfriend of mine.
She had made a very big mistake.
We're talking a six figuremistake in her company and she
went to her team and she waslike, look, I screwed the pooch

(24:37):
and this happened.
And she said her, everyone inher team's first response was,
oh my God, how did you do that?
And then their second responsewas how can we help you fix it?
That's what vulnerability does,right?
That esprit de corps, thatcamaraderie, like all of that
stuff that everybody's like, oh,you know, I wish we could be
like the military has, like,with that camaraderie, that

(24:59):
esprit de corps, you can.
But being vulnerable is part ofit, right?
Because you know, I'm sure you,there have been times where
you've had to go to your guysand be like, look, I have too
much, I can't do all of this, Ineed y'all's help.
And they're like okay, what doyou need?
Right, that's what it's about,and you know I like to talk

(25:22):
about.
You know SEALs or Green Beretsor Rangers.
You know each person on a SEALteam has a very specific job,
very specific.
Every single person on thatteam knows each other's job
enough to help, not tonecessarily be proficient, but

(25:43):
enough to help.
And there's a reason for that.
You have an SME, a subjectmatter expert, and then you have
people to help fill in inemergencies.
Right, that is what makes thatteam so dynamic and so powerful,
is you have one person you canjust rely on, but that one
person is relying on the otherteam or every single other team

(26:04):
member to have his back, becausehe knows.
You know, they may may not bethe medical expert, but they can
do a trick in a, in a pinch, ifthey got to.

Speaker 1 (26:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
Right, so that that seal medic isn't going to be
just dealing with a masscasualty all by himself.
Right, like he's, his entireteam is there to back him.
And then that's where we getlost.
And, dude, I never in my lifethought I would.
It blows my mind to this daywhen people that's not my job,
yeah, like what 100?

(26:37):
It's your job, bro, you get apaycheck.
It's your job like.
I don't understand thatmentality.
Help the team.
If the team thrives, you thrive.
If you thrive, the team thrives.
I don't understand thismentality of me, me, me, me.

Speaker 1 (26:52):
I kind of go back to this concept now where I work in
a civilian driven organization.
So, like I'm in acquisitionsnow, I'm still an active duty
army officer.
That feel great.
But I see there's differentorganizational structures.
So you can be a governmentcorps, which means basically
you're siloed within thatorganization, you work for the

(27:12):
government.
Or you can be a matrix employee, which means you are contracted
out by this organization tothis army organization and, and
the way I I kind of see that isthat you have multiple different
organizations you work for butyou also have that loop, that

(27:33):
thread between the two.
You never you're always able tocover down on other people's
kind of blind spots.
The way that's the best way Ilike to think of it, versus
being siloed in well, this isjust my job and I only do this
and I can't do anything elseversus no, there's a thread of
where you're at and where I'm atand you should be able to do

(27:55):
everything that I can doproficiently, maybe not to the
level that I can, which is okay,but we have to have that level
of redundancy.
We can't have single points offailures, because when a single
point of failure goes down, thenthe system fails, and, at the
primordial level, what we are isa system of systems.

(28:15):
Every organization is a systemof the system.
And if you think of the soldier, like when we're actually
deployed with our kit, we haveour IOTV Well, that's a system
because it protects us.
We have our radio Well, that'sa system because it communicates
.
We have our blue force tracker,our net warrior device, we have
our goggles, we have our weapon, which extends, extends our
operational reach.
We have all these things thatare systems that build upon each

(28:38):
other.
But if one goes down well, wepotentially have another one,
like you know, our 320 or for 40, micro or whatever it is.
And it's getting that type ofmindset within a civilian
culture that I think, is one ofthe most challenging things to
do, because they've always beenraised Well, don't go above and

(28:58):
beyond.
Do what you're supposed to doto get paid for and then just be
done for the day.
Well, that's not how goodorganizations become great or
extraordinary, that's howmediocre organizations stay
mediocre.
If you want to be part of ateam that's mediocre,
congratulations, get off my team.
I don't want you on my team.

Speaker 2 (29:20):
And it's hard.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
You said this too.
I remember when we were talkingabout the first time you knife
tanned a civilian.
We haven't even kind of gotthere yet in your leadership
journey, but walk me throughwhat.
What happened the first timeyou knife tanned a civilian?
And I'll tell you.

Speaker 2 (29:37):
I'll tell you a story after after that one um, I
don't remember exactly what hadhappened and as to why I did it,
but actually you know what Ithink.
I think I do.
Um, they want, they wanted togo home early and their work was
done.
And it's like, no, you don'tget to go home early, like I

(30:01):
don't care if your work's done,we're not done, the team isn't
done.
And they started giving megrief about it and I just I did
a complete 180.
And as I came around, you know Iwas done like that about face
knife hand, like oh, dude, andit was, it was on point man,
like it was a sniper kill, likejust about, and it was like
right at the tip of their nose.

(30:21):
And it was like right at thetip of their nose, not touching
them, just right there I waslike you will not argue with me.
And man, the look on their face, it was a cross between
extremely ticked off, extremelyscared and just confusion, not

(30:49):
knowing what just happened.
And so the next day that thatwasn't that big of a deal, they,
they just walked away and Ithought there was the end of it
Didn't even occur to me untilthe next day when my boss called
me into his office.
Thank God, this man was aretired soldier as well, so he
knew exactly.
But he, he was a long timeretired, but he knew exactly
what was going on, um, and so hehad it.

(31:09):
He actually I had it up oncamera and he was watching it,
he was watching it in the loop.
So I walked into his office andI see it and I'm like you know
I was a little bit off target,but that's pretty good, man, man
and he's like you can't do this, dude.
Like, what are you doing?
This isn't how we talk topeople.
I'm like I didn't even raise myvoice.

(31:31):
I said it sternly, but I didn'traise my voice.
He's like well, body languageis a part of communication and
this is not how we communicate.
He's like that's how youcommunicate in the army, but
that's not how we communicatehere.
And so that employee didn'tactually speak to me, like face
to face, speak to me forprobably six months.
Wow, like they were just mad,and I don't know if they're mad

(31:55):
or if I scared them.
I don't, I don't even know, butthey just, from that day on,
they hated me, hated my guts and, uh, it is what it is, man, you
got a knife hand to deal withit.
It's not like I touched you.
I didn't hit you.
Could have been much worse.

Speaker 1 (32:12):
All right, team.
Let's take a quick break fromthis podcast and I want to
personally invite you to ourprivate Facebook community that
I call Purposeful AccountableLeaders, or PALS.
Purposeful Accountable Leadersor PALS and PALS is a community
dedicated to inspiring anddeveloping servant leaders by
sharing transformational storiesand skills Exactly what Tells
the Leadership is all about.
My goal is to build a communityof like-minded leaders that can

(32:36):
share lessons learned, askquestions and celebrate wins
when it happens.
And my mission in life is clearI will end toxic leadership by
sharing transformational storiesand skills, and you will find
countless transformationalleaders in this group.
Many of them I have had thehonor to serve with in the
military.
If you want to find a communitythat can help you grow, both

(32:58):
personally and professionally,we would love to have you.
You can simply searchPurposeful Accountable Leaders
on Facebook or click theLeadership Resources tab in the
show notes to join.
I am looking forward to seeingyou guys and continuing to grow
together on our leadershipjourney.
Back to the podcast.
So every time I kind of go intoorganization, the organization I

(33:19):
work for now is just adifferent type of breed within
acquisitions, so they kind ofget that alpha-h mentality when
it comes to like combat arms.
But the last organization Iworked for, po aviation, I kind
of would always warn people likehey, you know, I have a knife
hand.
Sometimes I can't control it,and it comes out and just know

(33:41):
that I love you and I meannothing by it.
But we were at a kickoff withone of our vendors that worked
out and just know that I loveyou and I mean nothing, buy it.
But we were at a uh, a kickoffwith one of our vendors that
worked out in san uh, sanfrancisco, and I'll kind of keep
you know all the names andstuff off and the program off.
But we were sitting in thisroom and the bottom line is that
you know they, they basicallymade drones for us and they were

(34:01):
unwilling to talk about puttinglethal payloads or secondary
loitering munitions on it.
And at the time and I'm sittingin this room and they've made
this ethical decision as acompany not to do it and I'm
thinking to myself, okay, willyou make an ethical decision not
to do this, but you areactively potentially sending

(34:25):
drones to countries that arebeing used to target for
indirect fires.
And I look in the room and Iask them what's more important
to you a soldier's life, a sonand daughter, or your moral high
ground which you're alreadybreaking.

(34:45):
And it got to the point where Istarted knife handing basically
the CEO of this multi-billiondollar organization and then
everyone else within there theCFO, the CTO, all these other
people and my chief engineer onmy team kind of had to pull me
away and separate me because hestarted like just igniting a
fire inside of me that I couldnot get away from and because

(35:09):
you and I kind of share likealmost a similar story, not
quite to the level of intensityyou had, but when I took over my
platoon in Afghanistan, I metmy platoon for the first time
and this was one of the mosthumbling moments of my life at
Sergeant Rodriguez's memorial.
So at that time, before I hadan agenda right, I wanted to go

(35:31):
be a platoon leader that wasgetting after it, going in and
doing firefights, so I could gobe a regimental platoon leader.
That was my goal.
Go be a regimental platoonleader.
That was my goal, that was myentire aspiration, until I had a
realization, or like a just aaha moment of wow man, I am
being selfish, I'm coming inwith an agenda.
I see this organization thathas not only had one, but

(35:54):
several you know major incidentsthat they they deployed with 44
.
When I took over, they had 28people left in the platoon and I
realized that my goal is notfor me, my mission is to get
everyone back safely and it'snot to be a spotlight ranger or

(36:14):
what we like to call, you know,like a blue falcon in the
military.
It is to get every man andwoman back safely.
But I'm glad that that happenedto me at such an early age
because it changed me in termsof humility.
And now I always kind of go backto that moment when I take over

(36:35):
a team and the question thatalways pops in my mind is that
who am I here for?
Not, how can I benefit from thisposition and get more influence
or more title or more rank andkind of going back to where you
talked about of being, you know,being able to go that little
bit of extra?
I think that that's where itcomes from, is people don't

(36:59):
truly understand the definitionof selfless service and humility
because they have never wentthrough those types of trials
and tribulations.
And that's the most unfortunatething about leadership is that
you have to go through pain inorder to experience, and in that
experience you gain wisdom, andthat wisdom can be shared with

(37:23):
other people.
Some people may not want tohear it, but other people they
may, and then some people mayjust get a knife hand to the
face, we don't know.
But, dude, kind of continuingwith your, your leadership
journey.
Uh, talk me through, as youstarted progressing through the
ranks, of how your leadershipmatured over the years so this

(37:49):
is what?

Speaker 2 (37:50):
to me, this is the saddest story of my story
because I didn't realize thearmy had bad leadership until I
was about to retire.
I never in my entire career hada bad leader.
I mean, I had some that werebetter than others.
Of course, I had some that wereokay, but I never had anyone I

(38:13):
could point to and be like thatdude's a bad leader.
Every single leader I had,every single one I worked with.
They were a hot man, they wereon fire, they loved their team,
they loved the unit.
They were on fire, they lovedtheir team, they loved the unit,
they loved the army.
They loved what we did.
We had a mission, we had apurpose, we were driven, we were
driven together.
That was my entire experiencein the army.

(38:34):
And then, when I was retired,when I was going through the med
board process, I startedtalking to soldiers and they're
like, yeah, this isn isn't likeyour, your stuff's a fairy tale,
like that's not supposed tohappen in the army.
And it's like wait, what?
Like you know, I didn't realizeI was, I was the unicorn, and

(38:54):
so that really opened my eyes,and so I kind of started
exploring that just to see,because I was curious and yeah,
sure enough, man, like there aresome horrific leadership
stories come that come from thearmy.
Yeah, for me, though, you know,I had some of the most amazing
leaders, man, you know I had aleader and I don't want to throw

(39:17):
their names out because I don'tI don't know entirely what
they're all doing right nowbecause I don't know entirely
what they're all doing right nowbut you know, I had some that
taught me when, where and how itwas okay to cry right, because
you know.
They taught me how to controlmy emotion, how to go from being
in combat one second and thengoing to the rear and dealing

(39:41):
with the fact you just lost twodudes.
Yeah, because that's hard andyou have to be able to control
and deal with those emotions.
And then you have you stillhave to be strong for you, for
your team, for everyone aroundyou, right for the mission.
Like you, you can't losestrength, but you still have to
deal with the emotion.
I had leaders that taught methat.

(40:02):
And then I had another leaderthat taught me the value of you
know, I don't want to sayfraternization, but it's okay to
be the guy for your team.
Yeah, like the army makes us soscared to be friends with our

(40:23):
team.
Like you can be.
A careful friend is what I callit.
Where where we're buddies and wehang out and we're talking,
we're laughing, we're having agood time.
But when it's time to work, youunderstand that.
You respect me.
You, you understand mydecisions are final.
It's not a debate, yada, yadayada.
When I have to discipline you,you understand that.

(40:44):
It's not personal, it's a job.
We're professionals.
This is how we handle things.
And then, once we're done, wego back and we play some poker
back in the rear.
That's okay.
I had a leader that taught methat.
But we're so scared offraternization and being too
chummy.
But without that openness andthat transparency and just

(41:07):
really letting them get to knowyou, they'll never fully trust
you 100%.
So you know, I had leaders thattaught me the value of personal
relationships.
But, most importantly, I had aleader and I will throw his name
out there, sergeant Patitucci,who taught me the value of

(41:27):
always understanding yourpurpose and always being able to
communicate your purpose toeveryone around you, to everyone
you're leading, everyone who'sleading you, everyone who's
leading you like, and I'm notjust talking about the purpose
of the mission, I'm talkingabout your purpose on that

(41:47):
mission, your purpose for beingon that mission.
Your, you know every littledetail that's brought you to the
point, to where you stand rightnow, understanding that deep
purpose, because ultimately,that purpose is what drives us.
And at the beginning, when Iwas talking about that three and
a half years, and at thebeginning, when I was talking
about that three and a halfyears of transitioning from the
military to the civilian life,that is what happened to me is I

(42:09):
lost my purpose.
I had nothing to cling on to, Ihad nothing to drive me, to
guide me, and with it wasn't afact of, I didn't understand my
purpose, I just didn't have one,and that almost, that almost
killed me.
And so I mean that's thebiggest value.
And so now, whenever I'mcoaching people, when I'm

(42:29):
teaching people, the very firstthing is I ask them what is your
purpose?

Speaker 1 (42:35):
And.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
I've actually gone out in public and surveyed
people and I've been like whatis your purpose?
And I'm very generous withthese numbers, very, very
generous.
One out of 10 people will giveme an actual, okay purpose for
their life.
Three people will give me someBS answer.
That's just fluff, has nosubstance at all and it's just

(42:57):
whatever.
It's lip service.
And then the other six willjust flat out say that they
don't know.
How sad is that?
How do you live life and notknow your purpose?
And I'm not saying your purposehas to be making money and
getting you know rich and haveyou know your.
My mom's purpose was herchildren.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (43:16):
It wasn't glory, it wasn't fancy, it was.
It was her kids, it was thefour of us.
That was my mom's purpose.
My dad's purpose was to feed usand to raise us into men that
were contributors to society.
That was my dad's purpose.
My purpose is to teach people,to influence people, to want to

(43:37):
grasp leadership by the hornsand go out and influence other
people and change their lives.
Right, but without that purpose, I have nothing to drive me and
that leads down to that leadsto chaos, depression, suicide,
addiction, alcohol abuse, allthat stuff.
That's how we get there isbecause we lose our purpose.

(43:58):
I'm sorry I took this the wrongway of what you originally
asked.

Speaker 1 (44:02):
I'm sorry I took this the wrong way of what you
originally asked me, dude.
No, I love it Kind of gettingdown in that rabbit hole, and
that's where I wanted to go.
Next, anyway, is talk methrough your transition out of
the military.
But I think you and I fullyagree.

(44:27):
I did not understand what mypurpose was until I transitioned
into acquisitions and I had thetime to slow down and really
reflect on my life the good, thebad, the ugly, all of it and
really focus on what made mehappy, truly happy in life, and
why did it make me happy?
And then I to me I rememberwhen we talked on the phone is
that I have an equation forfulfillment.

(44:47):
I think balance is it's a wordthat's often used, but I think
it's it's a lie a hundredpercent Like.
I think you can findfulfillment in life, but you
cannot chase balance, becauseall you're doing is you're
chasing the dopamine fueledspike.
You may have balance at afleeting moment in time, but
then again life becomesunbalanced.

(45:07):
But you have to be okay withthat.
It's like there's a quote outthere by someone that says you
can't control the ocean, but youcan learn to surf a wave.
That's kind of the goal in lifeis you just need to learn how
to ride that wave and be okaywith the journey and the
destination.
And when I realized, okay, mypassion, this is what I love
doing.
I love being a leader, I lovebeing in a servant role, I love

(45:30):
serving others.
My purpose why am I put on thisearth?
And I think there's twodistinct purposes, at least for
me.
I have a distinct familypurpose, very similar to like
your father, like my legacy isgoing to be my children, and I
want to have amazing adults.
I want my daughter to be thebest version of herself and
she's already better than me,way better than me.

(45:53):
I'm telling you right now sheI'm gonna have her on the
podcast, actually in November,because that that young woman is
so inspiring to me.

Speaker 2 (46:01):
How old is she?

Speaker 1 (46:02):
She's 10.
So just a couple stories forher right.
So she never wrestled before inher life.
She got fourth in the States inAlabama for All Girls Wrestling
Championship.

Speaker 2 (46:16):
Nice.

Speaker 1 (46:17):
She was the leading soccer score goal, the leading
score in her club for soccer.
Last year we moved to DC.
She's already making a name forherself in soccer.
She constantly wins chessmatches and she wins like math
stuff and all those crazy things.
Her hobbies is doing artprojects and reading and all of

(46:42):
these things.
And I remember, man, when I wasnine or 10 years old, what was I
doing?
It's probably eating crayons ordoing something.
I grew up in rural WestVirginia, so you know, use your
imagination on what I was doingat that age.
But and and how I see her andit's so inspiring playing soccer

(47:03):
, especially at a goalieposition.
She is commanding andcontrolling her team, but she
doesn't do it from this positionof where, like I am the leader
hear me roar she does it fromthis very humble mentality of
giving out clear, concise orders, and I love this quote by Brene
Brown.
Is that being clear is beingkind, being unclear is being

(47:24):
unkind, but she, she is going tobe amazing or whatever she
chooses to do, and I would loveto just kind of bring her on on
here and pick her brain.
But so now I went down thesidetrack.
But anyway.
So passion, what?
What you're passionate about?
Finding your purpose and andreally crafting that down and

(47:45):
and homing it in to what you,you want it to be.
And then, what is yourperspective in life?
You have to have a vision.
How are you going to get there?
You can't, you can say all thewords, but you have to have D's
and words aligned to actuallygain momentum, traction force
plus acceleration times,momentum, all of those things we

(48:06):
have to be able to do in life.
But so I fully agree with you.
I think purpose is somethingthat is absolutely critical,
especially for military servicemembers who transition.
It doesn't matter what yourrank is, too burr colonels get
out of the military who youwould think on paper, would have
the most fulfilling retirementin the world because they're
making, like you know, fifteenthousand dollars a month.

(48:27):
Money is no longer an option oror an obstacle for you, but
they're still.
They're still stressed andthey're still depressed, and
it's because they have nopurpose.
They had this deep sense ofpurpose and responsibility,
authority in the, but when theytransitioned out, it's just all
gone.
But kind of walk me throughyour transition, man, like what

(48:49):
were some of the biggestchallenges that you had to face
and how you overcome that.
How did you overcome thosechallenges?

Speaker 2 (48:59):
Man, how dark am I allowed to go?
Man, how dark am I allowed togo?
Uh, pg-13 oh boy that'll behard.

Speaker 1 (49:11):
Okay, you go wherever you want, brother no, I don't,
I don't.

Speaker 2 (49:14):
You know, I don't.
We're plus, we're alive.
You know, people are got theirkids around.
I don't want to upset theirkids, but uh.
So first of all, my med boardwas unexpected.
I it was semi unexpected.
I kind of expected it, but Ididn't expect it.
Right then I thought I wasgoing to be.
I had a legitimate thought thatI was going to be able to

(49:35):
squeak out 20 at least and um,in hindsight, when I look back
now, the Army made the 100%right call on getting me out.
I was a detriment to the teamand that's great.
Good on them.
They did it right.
But I felt jaded nonetheless.

(49:55):
Like you know, I felt like I'dgotten screwed.
So I was mad at the Army.
I was mad at my then wife.
I was mad at my kids.
I was mad at the army.
I was mad at my then wife.
I was mad at my kids.
I was mad at the world.
I got into the civilian worldwhere no one spoke my language
and, like this is why I get sojazzed talking to people like
you, because I can start talkingin all the acron.
They don't really believe methat I can speak an entire

(50:17):
sentence.
I'm probably doing an entireparagraph and just acronyms, and
to the right person it's goingto make sense.

Speaker 1 (50:29):
A hundred percent.

Speaker 2 (50:31):
And, like you know, no one spoke my language.
Like with the knife handincident, I wasn't trying to be
aggressive or hurtful, it wasjust I was conveying my
seriousness on the matter of.
You aren't going to question me, but I didn't mean disrespect.
But they didn't speak mylanguage, they didn't understand

(50:52):
my communication, any of it.
I would say the hardest thing Ihad to deal with was just the
lack of motivation.
Yeah, I saw in everyday people,the people that just they had no
fire, like they're almost likerobots, and I see, I still see
it every day people that arejust kind of going through the

(51:15):
motions of their life.
And it breaks my heart becauseI've seen, I've seen people
literally live their life, yeah,and unfortunately those lives
got cut short, but I've seenwhat it truly means to live your
life.
And then now I see what it'slike to just go through the
motions and it's like man,you're missing on.

(51:35):
It's like looking at a Picassothat's in black and white and
then you get a look at a Picassothat's in full color, right,
that to me, that's thedifference.
Like you're just going throughthe motions, you just see the
Picasso in black and white, butwhen you really start trying to
live your life.
That's when you see it in fullcolor and it blows your mind.

(51:58):
You learn to not take thingsfor granted, like a beautiful
sunrise.
You learn not to take thingsfor granted, like your puppy
just being an absolute nut.
My wife and I just got a Germanshepherd.
She's five months old and sheis so much fun.
But you know, that was so hardfor me, just seeing people and I
would try to talk to them and Iwould tell them right, because

(52:21):
I know like my life almost gotcut short several times, one
time closer than the others.
Literally I died a few timesand they had to bring me back.
And I know like I'm not goingto fall into that trap again of
just going through the motions.

(52:41):
I'm going to live my life everysingle day.
But seeing all of this rightwhen I started to transition, it
was so overwhelming and soshocking to my system because I
had never experienced thisbefore.
It just sunk me down to thisdeep depression and I didn't
know this at the time, butapparently I'm an emotional

(53:02):
leader, which I guess to anextent we all are, but anyway.
So when I left the army Iweighed 220 pounds.
I could run my two mile in justunder 14 minutes and was it 10
months later after I left?
I weighed 300 pounds.
So I gained 80 pounds in 10months and I couldn't run

(53:23):
anymore.
I was, you know, every joint inmy body hurt, every bone in my
body hurt.
I got migraines all the time.
I, just I, started falling downthis deep spiral.
The more weight I gained, themore depressed I got.
The more depressed I got, themore weight I gained, the
further out of shape I got, thefurther withdrawn from my wife
and kids I got and just I justcontinued down this deep, deep,

(53:46):
deep spiral until finally it wasjust, it was almost that
ultimate ticket you know out.
Fortunately for me, I met, youknow, ended up going through a
real nasty divorce and then Imet my now wife, who snapped me
out of it and she really made merealize what my problem was.
I met my now wife, who snappedme out of it, and she really
made me realize what my problemwas.

(54:06):
I lost my purpose, and so whenI met her, she gave me a new
purpose, and that purpose washer, which I understand.
Most psychologists will saythat's not healthy, which is
true, I won't argue, but it's.
It was enough to snap me out ofmy funk.
And then now, now I have afully defined purpose and now
I'm reliving my life again and Ican go deeper if you want, but

(54:30):
it gets pretty dark and scary inthere.
But uh, I think that's as muchPG 13 as I can go.

Speaker 1 (54:37):
When did you first realize that a coach was going
to kind of help you?
And did you?
Did you seek out finding acoach, or was that kind of like
just stumbled into?

Speaker 2 (54:53):
so um to help me through that process.
I didn't, I didn't ever have acoach.
I I had um a couple of mentorswhich I you know.
To me, a coach is someone I pay.
A mentor is someone that'sclose to me that does it for
free.

Speaker 1 (55:10):
That's a good question.
I was going to ask you what'sthe difference between a coach
and a mentor?

Speaker 2 (55:15):
So you know, a mentor is personally invested in your
success because they love youand they want to see you succeed
.
A coach is personally investedin your success but it's because
you pay them to do so, whichboth are okay, both are one.
You know, I paid when I startedmy business.
I paid $30,000 for a year ofcoaching, um, from just one

(55:39):
person.
So I mean, but anyway, so whenit came to this, my, my
transition, you know, I just Igot lucky and and you know, my
boss, that I was telling youabout watching me knife hand
people on a loop Um, he really,he identified it in me early on
and he really, man, he, he wassuch a godsend because he could

(56:02):
just kind of nudge me and Irespected the hell out of the
guy and he would just kind ofnudge me and kind of keep me
kind of off the ledge.
I guess you could say yeah, andthen, like I said, my wife is
the one that fully just bum,rushed me and beat me half to
death and got me to snap out ofit Figuratively.

(56:24):
Um, she's only five foot tall,a hundred pounds, there's no way
she can beat me up.
But, um, but yeah, she, she'sthe one that really just kind of
snapped me out of it.
Um, when it came to my business, though, I'm a big believer in
not reinventing the wheel.
So you know, you're you're anexpert in acquisitions, you, you

(56:45):
know, if I'm a platoon sergeantand I need to acquire something
, you know you're going to bethe guy yeah, you're going to be
the guy that I go to to helpcoach me through that process,
because why reinvent the wheelwhen someone already knows how
the wheel rolls?
but at the end of the day, now,the way I look at it, man, did
you know tom brady had amechanics coach?
No, yeah, tom brady had amechanics coach.

(57:09):
So he had a coach, literallythat would coach him on the
position of every angle of hisarm through the throwing process
.
Oh wow, like he had a footworkcoach.
That really all his.
He just coached him on theplacement of his feet when he
was moving and throwing the ballright.
He had a throwing coach he had,like all these coaches, when

(57:32):
you look at an actor, you knowyou'll have an actor, will have
a coach for a southern accent,for a northern accent, like
they'll have.
And it might be the same coach,but they're getting coached on
different aspects of their what,what's going on at that time in
their career?
Yeah, my point is like, you know, politicians, how many coaches

(57:54):
does a paula, you know, brockobama, you know speaking coach?
Uh, you know writing.
Politicians, actors, musicians,professional athletes they all
have tons of coaches.
Why wouldn't you have a coachfor the biggest challenge you're
ever going to face, which isyour life.

(58:15):
Nothing is more complex thanour life.
So do I think life coaching isa thing?
Heck, yeah, man, everybodyshould have a life coach,
everybody should have aleadership coach, everyone
should have a business coach.
Everyone should have, like allthese things, a fitness coach, a
diet coach, like, and you know,one coach can be multiple

(58:36):
things.
But again, like you know, man,if Tom Brady needs a coach just
for the mechanics of his arm,you definitely need a coach for
the mechanics of your life.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
Yeah, Dude, undisputed too that he's, and I
really do not like Tom Brady.

Speaker 2 (58:55):
Oh, I can't stand him .

Speaker 1 (58:57):
I am not a Patriots fan, but undisputed that he is
probably the the the greatestquarterback ever.

Speaker 2 (59:04):
but he wasn't that good yeah, he's from michigan um
he was.

Speaker 1 (59:09):
No, he got drafted in the fifth round uh, he sat the
bench, like he wasn't that greatthe beauty about him and his
story is the power ofconsistency and hard work, and
then just discipline.

Speaker 2 (59:25):
And being able to be coached.

Speaker 1 (59:27):
Yeah.
So curiosity, being committedand being coachable and always
being that way, I think when Iread something that he spent
like millions of dollars a yearto try to stay young, not from a
night, like a vein point ofview, of, like you know, going
through facials and stuff likethat, but his body, his joints,

(59:49):
of being able to stay healthyand if you look at it, I mean it
paid off.
The, the dude you know,transitioned from a team to go
play for Tampa which arguably,before he even got there was,
was not a Superbowl contender.
And then they get there andthey win the Superbowl and I
thought for sure he sold hissoul to the devil in that moment
.
It's like there's no way TomBrady man and kudos to him, like

(01:00:14):
as a person he is probably aphenomenal individual.
But I think an aspect too oflooking at it from Tom Brady
because I thought about this ishe doesn't even have it all
together in life, right Like netfootball crushed it life.
He lost his wife and his kids.
I mean that's that, that's,that's a tough challenge, um,

(01:00:36):
and you know, I don't know thewhole story behind it, but I
think that that's just abeautiful example of it is you
can meet, reach the pinnacle ofsuccess in an area of your life
and just be rock bottom.
And other areas of your lifeand I think we've all had that
like being in the military, I'msure you you understand this
vividly is that you can just becrushing it, be on cloud nine

(01:00:59):
and come home and everythingjust be falling apart, and
that's just.
That's just.
That's just the nature of life.
So I fully agree a life coachis needed because sometimes we
can't weather the storm thatlife throws at us and we need to
have that accountability tree.
That's what I like to call, likeyour ranger buddy, but

(01:01:19):
accountability tree, someonewho's deeply rooted, that is
unwavering, doesn't want to hearyour excuses, you can't just
push them out of the way but itis also able to provide shade.
So when times do get tough,they can kind of mentor you or
coach you along the way, giveyou a thread to how to get to
success.

(01:01:39):
But talk me through man to getto success.
But talk me through man.
You know, you what's?
Why did you want to startRenewed Leadership, your
coaching company that you'recurrently on right now?

Speaker 2 (01:01:53):
Yeah, so Renown Leadership.

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
I wrote it down wrong , I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:01:59):
No, you're good, You're good.
You wouldn't believe how oftenthat happens.
Wrong, I'm sorry.
No, you're good, you're good.
You wouldn't believe how oftenthat happens.
I, I wanted to start it becauseI I hate the fact that they're
just, and you know it's funnywhen I go talk to a lot of these
quote-unquote bad leaders.

Speaker 1 (01:02:17):
Yeah, a lot of the times they don't even realize
they're bad leaders.

Speaker 2 (01:02:19):
Yep, they don't even have a clue yeah, they don't
have a clue that they're doingthe wrong thing.
All that happened was they wentthrough a couple of months of
management training.
They got taught how to run thesoftware, check the boxes, stand
at the door, tell everyone whata great job they did today,
thank them for working and thenhand out some gift cards every
month or every quarter orwhatever.
And to them, that's whatleadership is.

(01:02:40):
They don't understand that itgoes so much deeper.
And in order to be a goodleader and you know, like you've
said several times, like youtalk about being a servant
leader, which, in my opinion, isthe best kinds of leader being
a servant leader but there thereare many different types of

(01:03:00):
leaders.
They all have their purpose,they all have their value and I
won't throw shade at any of them.
But you have to understand yourtype of person.
Your personality allows you tobe a servant leader.
My personality allows me to bea servant leader.
Some other people, theirpersonality, doesn't allow that
for them.
They can still be amazingleaders, though.
They just have to be taught theway to be an amazing leader.

(01:03:24):
And so you know I'm a greatexample.
You know my boss, you know thekind of mentored me after I
transitioned out of the army.
He wasn't a servant leader.
Well, I don't know if you'relistening to this, eric.
I'm sorry if you consideryourself a servant leader.
I never did.
But it's not to throw shade athim.
That just wasn't his style.

(01:03:45):
He was very cut and dry and hewas very by the book and he was
very strict and he was veryunpersonable.
Now eventually I learned thesoft side of him.
But to most people outsidelooking in, they just thought he
was a jerk.
But every single person thatworked for him knew that he

(01:04:06):
loved them dearly because heshowed it in different ways by
taking care of them Right.
So it wasn't necessarilyservant leadership, but he was a
great leader in that regard.
So that's why I started.
It is because I want to teachpeople.
If you want to be a leader,there are a plethora of ways to

(01:04:28):
do it, do it right, but at theend of the day it comes down to
your people, and you know it's.
It's very simple.
First you have to know yourpurpose.
We already talked about that.
Then you have to know your.
Why, see, people get, getconfused.
They think purpose and why arethe same thing and they're not.
They're two exactly or twoopposite things.

(01:04:48):
Your purpose is very personal.
Close to you, your why is veryworld broad view, your why, is
your purpose being displayed tothe world?
Basically, basically.
So you have to be able todefine your why and then we go
all the way to the other end ofthe compass to identify our
integrity, because the way youoperate, the way you're

(01:05:10):
comfortable operating, may becompletely different than the
way I'm comfortable operating.
So you know, a good example isone of my business partners I
was, you know, I had a potentialclient lie to me and I knew he
was lying to me and it's justlike nope, I'm not working with
you.
And she's like well, it's money, like who cares?

(01:05:31):
If he lied to you, I'm like Icare.
If he lied to me, I'm not.
That's my integrity.
No, absolutely not.
If you want to work with him,that's fine.
If you want to work with him,that's fine.
I'll send them to you.
I don't care.
But I am not going to work withyou, do not lie to me.
And so she's okay with that,that's great.
I'm okay with her being okaywith that.

(01:05:53):
That's not my integrity, that'snot.
That's not where I operate.
And then, once we have thosethree things, then in the center
of it is kind of what youtalked about earlier.
That's where I put your goals,goals, so it could be your
personal goals, your companygoals, your professional goals,
all these things that gets setin the center of your compass,
that kind of balances, theneedle, and so you got your
purpose all the way down south,you got your integrity all the

(01:06:13):
way up north and, as long as youstay in line and you're going
to attack your goals everysingle day, and that's kind of
how I teach it obviously,obviously a lot more in depth,
but I just want everyone tounderstand leaders.
One aren't born.
You and I weren't born the waywe are.
We were taught over years andyears of forging and training to

(01:06:35):
be the way that we are.
Any good leader is taught.
Martin Luther King was not bornthe leader he was.
He was taught to be that way byhis parents, by his
grandparents, by his aunts anduncles, by society around him.
He was taught to be that way.
Now, he was very charismatic.
That is something you canpossibly be born with.

(01:06:56):
He was very well-spoken, verycommunicative.
That is something you can beborn with.
But the actual leadership parthe was taught that you know JFK,
George Washington, all of them.
They're taught to be that wayand I want people to know that,
and I just think about how muchof a better place the world
would be if we had a whole bunchof leaders instead of a whole

(01:07:19):
bunch of managers, not throwingshade at managers.
Managers are needed, veryneeded, but we also need leaders
as well.

Speaker 1 (01:07:28):
I always think of the cartoon between leaders and
managers is that a manager issitting at their desk kind of
pointing at something that needsto get done and that thing is a
rock right, that just has toget rolled up a hill.
And they're sitting there intheir barking orders.
A manager manages, they oversee, a leader demonstrates, and

(01:07:53):
then they get their hands dirtywith the team.
They, they model the way andthey continue to inspire.
I think that's the difference,probably, between motivation and
and and inspiration.
I'd be interested to hear your,hear, your, uh, your,
definition between those two.
But there was something that yousaid, and I really want to hit
on that real quick, is thatthere is no right leadership

(01:08:14):
style, and I've seen this withsenior leaders, that they do not
know the type of leader thatthey are because they don't
understand their core values,they don't understand their
beliefs, they don't understandthe principles that make them
them.
So they emulate other peoplearound them, and that is the

(01:08:35):
worst thing that you can do,because when you emulate, you
are coming off as an unauthentic, disingenuous person, and that
is, as a leader, the one thingthat you cannot do, because you
can never gain trust.
And I had Oak McCulloch I thinkhe was the first person I had
on my podcast.
I love that dude.

(01:08:56):
He talked about a quote he's aretired lieutenant colonel is
that trust is the currency thatleaders wield.
And if you can't gain trust,you can't gain influence.
And if you can't gain influence, you can't inspire other people
to go do things that need to bedone, to kind of just move
forward.
But I'll pause there because Iknow I said a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:09:19):
Well, no, I was actually wanting to jump back to
that, but before you evenbrought it up and you were
talking about trust earlier, andit's like you know, the number
one way I find to build trustwithin my team is to just show
up at their workstation and letthem lead me.
Right, I don't show up as theirboss, I show up as their hired

(01:09:42):
hand, like what do you?
Right?
I don't show up as their boss,I show up as their hired hand,
like what do you?
How can I help you?
Okay, you need me to put thistogether.
Okay, you know how.
You know, I'm sure I'll knowhow to do it or whatever I start
putting it together, but I'mnot leading this workstation.
This is their workstation tolead, not mine, right?
So you know, oh, morris, I needyou to put that down and go

(01:10:04):
sweep the floor over therebecause we made a mess.
Okay, I go pick up a broom and Irun a broom Like I am below
running a broom dude, like I ambelow any of this, like I go get
my hands dirty.
And the second they see me dothat, like that's instant
respect, that's instant trust.
Like the more they see you dothat, like that's instant
respect.
That's instant trust.
Like the more they see you dothat, the more it grows.

(01:10:26):
It's just like a snowball, justgetting bigger and bigger and
bigger.
And I hear people all the timeto be like dude, like I am so
buried in paperwork.
I would love to do that, Idon't have time.
Well, no one said being aleader is easy.
Yeah, sometimes you've got toshow up to work four or five
hours early to get thatpaperwork done so you can be on
the floor working with yourpeople, setting the example,

(01:10:48):
being the inspiration, being themotivation like that is what
being a leader is all about.

Speaker 1 (01:10:55):
Sometimes it sucks I kind of go back to a quote.
Uh, I I don't know know ifAristotle actually said this or
not, but I'm going to attributeto Aristotle, but I live my life
by this.
If you ever get an email fromme and work I've had it in my
title block since I've been alieutenant is that we are what
we repetitively do.
Excellence, then, is an act,it's a habit, and that is true.

(01:11:19):
And as a leader, right likewhen I was in company command,
there was things that I wantedto go do.
I was the first person in mycompany as 5, 530, because I had
to literally unlock the doorand sometimes I would not leave
till seven o'clock at night andin the wintertime.
Dude, how depressing is thatwhen you show up Dark is dark,

(01:11:41):
yeah, and it's leaving and it'sdark, but that is the definition
of being in a leadership role,is?
It's not about you?
You have to get things done andin work right now, sometimes
I'm the last person to leave.
I leave at six o'clock becauseevery Friday I want to send up a
roll up.
Hey, in the last 96 hours, thisis what our team has

(01:12:02):
accomplished.
The next 96 hours, this is whatour team has accomplished, and
I will not feel satisfied untilI get that email out.
So even if I'm at work tilllike 630 at night, well, I'll be
damned, I'm going to stay thereand I'm going to get it done.
Because that quote always playsin my mind you are what you
repetitively do, josh.
Don't, don't give in to theeasy button.

(01:12:25):
Yeah, you could leave right now, you could, but you're not
going to, and I kind of justkeep playing that over and over.
Dude, I didn't realize it'salready an hour and 11 minutes
of the time.
I'm trying to be respectful ofyour time, but this is good man
we can talk about.

Speaker 2 (01:12:43):
I don't care, this is what I do, man Podcast, let's
go, let's go.

Speaker 1 (01:12:49):
So one thing I'd love to kind of you know transition
to from you, you start your,your, your coaching company.
You have such a a deep purposethat I think all of us share.
Where do you want to take this?
You know, like the next five to10 years, walk, walk me through
your vision and the impact thatyou want to make.

Speaker 2 (01:13:09):
So I don't want to give away too much, because some
of this is classified.
You don't have clearance.
You don't have clearance.
No, my coaching is just funds.
Right, it's funding my companyso I can go do other work, and

(01:13:31):
here soon.
I think you said what You're 16, almost 17?
.
Yeah, almost so here in a coupleof years you're going to be
going through.
When I went through it wascalled TAPC.
I think it's called somethingelse now, something TAPS, slf,
taps or something like that, Idon't know.
But anyway, the TAPS program iswhat this mandatory program we

(01:13:52):
have to do when we retire ETSget out of the army, basically,
or military and it sucks andit's absolutely useless and it
prepares us for absolutelynothing.
My long-term goal is to developa program that replaces that
with coaches, that every soldiergets a coach to help them

(01:14:18):
transition.
Not necessarily like the way Iwork with my clients now, where
I'm in their business.
I know their life, I know theirfinances, I know everything
about them.
Not necessarily like that justto someone kind of handhold them
through the process, becausethe numbers don't lie and the
numbers aren't going down andI'm sick of seeing our brothers
and sisters die for stupidreason.
We know the solution and I'mgoing to fix it solution and I'm

(01:14:45):
going to fix it, and so youknow I just need money, and so
that's that's what this is doing.
It's getting me to a place towhere I can fund this other
venture.
Start throwing money at it andgo get our government on board
with it, so that we can startsaving lives.

Speaker 1 (01:14:58):
Yeah, I started thinking about this a long time
ago.
The entire Iraq and Afghanistanconflict, and I'm just throwing
swags out there.
Anyone listening?
This is just off the top of myhead, just rough math, and I'm
going to do it in public, whichis dangerous.

Speaker 2 (01:15:15):
You know, they say, the most dangerous grunt is the
grunt that can do math.

Speaker 1 (01:15:19):
So we're going to see how dangerous you are math.
So we're gonna, we're gonna seehow dangerous you are.
So, yeah, iraq, afghanistan,roughly, you know one thou or
six thousand soldiers, you know.
Kia, um, plus or minus athousand.
Now think about that in a roughorder of of magnitude 22
soldiers a day, you know.

(01:15:39):
Pass away rough, you know roughorder.
Soldiers a day, you know.
Pass away rough, you know roughorder.
Now, equate that, you know, to10 days, that's 220.
And then, what about?
You know, 20 days, that's 440.
And then start applying Moore'slaw to that.
Now, times that by four, timesthat, by eight, at the end of

(01:16:00):
the year you're probably arounda figure, well over a hundred
thousand in any in a year.
Uh, which is man?
I don't even know if that'sclose or not.
Um, but think about, like theentire time, the conflict.
We're gonna have to put this onthe calculator for the entire
time right now two thousand andand one to to now, I will say,

(01:16:24):
when the end of gy error kind ofended, what, what is that
number?
I'm going to say it was about160 oh bro, it's 160 600.
See that gun show all day long.

Speaker 2 (01:16:39):
You're a dangerous grunt.

Speaker 1 (01:16:40):
I'm a dangerous grunt , so I have a systems
engineering master's degree.
I keep that on the DL, dude,and I just think about that.
I could have, you could have,and it's not a bad thing.
We could have probably savedone of those lives, one life

(01:17:00):
that we could have saved out ofthere and that's what I do every
day, like I don't get paid forany of this stuff, like getting
to talk to awesome people likeyou, steven.
I do it because I'm hopingsomeone out there will resonate
with someone's story and reachout and then maybe what we did
saved a life.
And that's kind of my vision formy next 10 years is I want to

(01:17:23):
impact 1 million lives in theveteran and the military
community for good, for apositive change, to show, hey,
you can still have a lifeoutside the military or you can
still be a good leader in themilitary and not be an a-hole.
There's ways to do it.
Just be that inspiration likematthew, chapter 5, verse 14 be

(01:17:44):
that light up on the hill right.
That's what I want to be inthat darkness, and I sure you
share the same thing.
We want to be that light.
It doesn't matter how dark itis, the light will always
overcome.
You just need to be that beacon, and kudos to you, dude.
That is a tough but awesomemission and as you continue to

(01:18:06):
progress on that, I and I'mserious because it's something
that I want to to stay connectedwith of how I can help and even
people that I have on my showthat that can help you get to
your goals faster, cause, likeyou talked about this before, if
you're successful, I'msuccessful, right.
Well, if you're successful, thearmy is successful and maybe we

(01:18:30):
saved a life along the waywhich we're chasing significance
, right, we're not chasingsuccess.
That that's, that's.

Speaker 2 (01:18:37):
That's powerful brother yeah, know, and I've had
many friends commit suicide,unfortunately, yeah, and I was
almost, you know, fell prey toit myself, yeah.
So I mean I would just say, youknow, it doesn't have to be
that way, right, looking backnow, if I just had someone to
tell me the problem, because Iwas so inundated into the

(01:19:00):
problem I couldn't see it Right.
And that's what I tell peoplecoaching is.
I compare coaching to being asniper.
Right, because you have, youhave your, your shooter right
and your shooter's hyper-focusedon his target.
He sees nothing else around himexcept his target.
But then you have your spotterand don't light me up, if I

(01:19:21):
understand, this is not ahundred percent an accurate
description but then you haveyour spotter that sees the
entire three, 60 of thebattlefield and is protecting
his shooter.
Now I understand again, Iunderstand there is much more to
it than that, but keep in mindI'm dealing with civilians and
I'm not going into the finitedetails of what you know like

(01:19:41):
ballistics, yeah, of course allthis effect.
Keep in mind I'm dealing withcivilians and I'm not going into
the finite details of what youknow Ballistic, yeah, coriolis,
effect, dope.
But I mean like there are somany dangers that can come up on
that shooter while he's focusedon his target that the spotter
has to protect him from.
That's what a coach is man.
He's your spotter.
He sees the things you can'tsee.

(01:20:02):
And I wish man three and a halfyears of my life wasted because
I was chasing demons down adark hole when all it took was
just someone to go stop.
This is what you're doing and ittook.
You know, I understand it takesthe right person, it takes love
, it takes a lot of things.
I understand that I'm not goingto be able to fix everyone's

(01:20:25):
problem.
I understand that this isn'tnecessarily everyone's
experience, but it was mine, andif it was mine, I know it's
plagued other people and I'm astrong person.
I'm strong mentally, I'm strongphysically, strong emotionally
and if it almost brought me tomy knees, I guarantee you it's
brought other people to theirs.
So you know that's my mission,dude.

(01:20:49):
I have to do something, becauseif I don't, you know, if I
don't do it, who will?

Speaker 1 (01:20:55):
There's a story that kind of reminded me of is that
we all have our demons and itdoesn't matter how strong you
think you are, sometimes thosedemons always overcome us.
And the story of Kurt Angleright, so this dude won a gold
medal with a broken neck, butbecause which is absolutely

(01:21:16):
insane wrestling, becausewrestling is like one of the
most physical sports that youcan have.
And then winning at such a highlevel with a broken neck is
just to me unfathomable.
But the dude afterwards, goinginto like professional wrestling
and that whole rabbit hole, gotaddicted to opioids.
And if someone with that levelof mental fortitude and

(01:21:37):
discipline that can win a goldmedal with a broken neck and the
hard work and dedication evento get to that level, can become
addicted or become overcome byby the darkness, then then we
all can, can be Um, and so yeah,again, kudos to you.
And one of the last questionsbefore we kind of get to our

(01:21:58):
final show segment is and Ialways love asking this is the
very end of based on, like,whatever your, your skill sets
are, you're, you're, you're asoldier.
And you went back to the pointof saying, um, you're, you're a
warrior, right?
What advice would you give tothat brand new private is just
joining the army right now isjust joining the army right now.

Speaker 2 (01:22:23):
Shut your face hole and listen.

Speaker 1 (01:22:25):
I love it.
And I don't think you're goingto hear that very often in the
military nowadays there's atotally different way of
educating versus how it used tobe.
I'm not very PC.
Well, I say this from astandpoint is that sometimes you
have to be that tough leaderLike the foundation that I am is

(01:22:46):
meekness, and I don't seemeekness as being weak.
I think of being reserved,listening to everything.
But when you speak peoplelisten and you're decisive when
you do act.
But sometimes people just needhard truths and especially when
you're forging someone into asoldier, I don't need a soldier

(01:23:09):
to question me or second guessme when we're making a decision
on the battlefield that is goingto cause someone to die.
And it could be that individualwho's freezing up Cause.
I've seen that.
I've seen what happens whenpeople freeze up and and and
firefights.

Speaker 2 (01:23:20):
But yeah, but you overcame it though.
Um, thank god I had a goodsergeant.
It only happened once, but yeah, man like, just look like I get
it the army's hard.
You know, the military is hard,not just the army, all branches
are hard except the air force Ihad to someone has to make our

(01:23:45):
coffee for us.
Yeah, you ever.
You ever get to eat at a airforce defect, like in the green
zone?

Speaker 1 (01:23:51):
oh yeah, I went to uh go into iraq for the last
deployment.
I flew into araf john in kuwaitand I got.
I got a chance to sit in theirdefect and I felt like man.

Speaker 2 (01:24:03):
I should not be here.

Speaker 1 (01:24:05):
It's too nice.
So and of course I get thismound of food, like I'm at
Shoney's like all you can eatbuffet type thing, and they're
just looking at me and I'm likewhat?
It's free food, bro, free foodDude.

Speaker 2 (01:24:17):
It's crazy Like I'll never forget.
We I don't remember what yearit was, but we had been out
operating out of a patrol base,out in the middle of freaking
nowhere for months and months,and months and we show up to the
green zone.
Actually it wasn't the greenzone, it was FOB Falcon, maybe I
don't remember, but they had abangin' DFAG that's Army for

(01:24:40):
Dining Facility.
So they had a bangin defectdude and we walked in and they
had real plates and real likesilverware, not flatware, like
it was legit silverware and like.
We were just amazed at thislegit plate and it's like man,
it's not flimsy cardboard likeand this fork's not gonna break

(01:25:01):
when I try to, and it's likedude.
You would be amazed at theluxuries we have here in the
united states and our firstworld problems when that's taken
away from you and you're justlike, oh my god, this is amazing
.
But anyway, no, real quickthough, because I know we're
alone really long.
You asked me a question Ididn't get to answer.

(01:25:22):
I want to answer real quick.
You asked me what thedifference between my opinion on
motivation and inspiration, andthis is where I think 99.9% of
us get it wrong, and I'm guiltyof this myself.
We think we need to motivateour people and I know you, being
a soldier, you hear it all thetime False motivation is better

(01:25:43):
than no motivation.

Speaker 1 (01:25:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:25:45):
We focus solely on motivation and we think
motivation and inspiration arethe same thing.
But they're not.
They're two completely separatethings.
You see, motivation the second.
You get that alarm going off atfour o'clock in the morning and
no one is telling you that youhave to be up at four o'clock in
the morning to go do PT.
You're going to hit the snoozebutton because you're only
operating off of motivation,right?

(01:26:07):
Motivation quits when it getshard.
Inspiration is going to keepgoing.
It's that fire inside of youthat pushes you to not ring the
bell, that pushes you to keeppushing, even though you're hurt
, you're shot up, you're cut up,you're blown up, whatever the
case may be in the civilianworld.
That is inspiration.

(01:26:27):
That's what keeps you going.
We've all seen the movie LoneSurvivor and know the story of
them.
The reason they were able tofight, even though they were
just completely outnumbered anddestroyed, is because they were
inspired by each other.
And that's what we have to be asleaders.
We have to be that inspiration,like you were saying earlier,
that light.

(01:26:47):
We have to be that fire thatjust spreads to our entire
organization, inspires the crapout of them to go do the thing
whatever, whatever it is.
Maybe it's a mission in combat,maybe it is developing a new
drug, I don't know.
But we have to be that.
Inspiration, motivations on theindividual.

(01:27:08):
It's your responsibility to getmotivated, not my
responsibility to motivate you,but it's my job to inspire you
and you use that inspiration toget motivated anyway one of the
quotes I always, always go backto, because I see leadership as
inspiration.

Speaker 1 (01:27:27):
As leaders, we inspire.
It doesn't matter if it'sourselves, if it's others it
doesn't matter, because toinspire, in my word, is a verb.
It's to be a catalyst foraction, and I always go back to
the quote by John Quincy Adamsalways go back to it.
And if your actions inspireothers to dream more, learn more

(01:27:47):
, do more and become more,you're a leader.
That is the best definition Ihave ever found in such a short,
concise role of what leadershipis.
It's time for our final showsegment that I like to call the
killer bees.
These are the same fourquestions that I ask every guest

(01:28:07):
on the Tales of Leadershippodcast Be brief, be brilliant,
be present and be gone.
Question one what do youbelieve separates a good leader
from an extraordinary leader?

Speaker 2 (01:28:22):
A good leader from an extraordinary leader.
A good leader from anextraordinary leader Love.

Speaker 1 (01:28:28):
Oh, I don't think I've heard that one and I love
it All right.
So question two what is oneresource that you could
recommend to our listeners tohelp them grow on their
leadership?

Speaker 2 (01:28:41):
Read the book Building a Story Brand by Donald
Miller.
It's about sales.
I understand that, but havingthe ability to tell a story and
communicate a vision isparamount as a leader, and this
book is going to help you dothat.

Speaker 1 (01:28:57):
That book is phenomenal.
I second that.
So number three if you couldgive your younger self a piece
of advice, what would it be?

Speaker 2 (01:29:07):
Just keep doing what you're doing.
I wouldn't change a thing.

Speaker 1 (01:29:10):
And then the last one where can our listeners find
you?
And then how can they add valueto your mission?

Speaker 2 (01:29:18):
Wasn't expecting that last part.
That's why I laughed.
I wasn't expecting that lastpart.
That's why I laughed.
Go to renownedleadershipcomR-E-N-O-W-N-E-D leadershipcom.
There's a connect button there.
There's a book a call with me.
It's completely free to book acall with me, so just click that
and you're going to talk to me.
If you're interested in beingon the podcast, there's a way

(01:29:38):
you can shoot me an email onthere for it to come be on my
podcast and all that.
So yeah, and to bring value tomy mission.
Be patient with veterans.
Man Like man.
I don't that's such a hardquestion to answer, but be just

(01:29:59):
be patient.
Like most of us, don't thinkyou were entitled to anything.
We think we're entitled tonothing, but it it just comes
off wrong because you don'tunderstand us.
We aren't speaking.
The our communications are twodifferent frequencies.

Speaker 1 (01:30:15):
Just be patient, show them some love and I promise
you'll have a great friend forthe rest of your life, dude
steven.
This has been a phenomenalepisode.
Brother, I always say that thisis my favorite episode.
Well, now, this is my newfavorite episode, um I
appreciate it, my man.
I had a lot of fun really yeah,so don't let this be the last
time we talk, but have a greatnight and I look forward to

(01:30:36):
being inspired by where you takeyour your next steps.

Speaker 2 (01:30:40):
I appreciate it, man.
Have a good night bud.

Speaker 1 (01:30:45):
All right team.
That was a phenomenal episodewith Stephen and I had several
key takeaways.
The big one, before we evenstart in our three, was just the
level of vulnerability thatStephen shared.
Stephen is a phenomenal leaderand, to kind of go through that,
I want you to think about that.

(01:31:06):
Right, you've done something sodeeply, so passionately for 16,
going on 17 years, and then youhave to stop cold turkey and
you get removed from thatorganization for no fault of
your own because of aservice-related issue, and then
having to start life anew.
Put yourselves in that positionmentally and understand how

(01:31:31):
tough that is.
And again, this is the beautyabout podcasting I get to talk
to phenomenal leaders that youmay not have ever heard, but now
you have.
You heard his story and youunderstand that there are heroes
out there that go throughtraumatic events, but they don't

(01:31:53):
let the darkness overtake them.
Right In Matthew 5, verse 14,we are a light on that hill.
Leaders are lights on the hill.
They inspire.
So the first key takeaway that Igot is mediocre, is only doing
your job and I see this in thecivilian side more than I have

(01:32:13):
in the military of where peoplejust feel this sense of
entitlement to where I only needto do what is clearly defined
within my scope and we see thistoo within like the quiet,
quitting culture that is in anorganization.
I will tell you, if you everwork for me and you have that

(01:32:35):
mentality of where you are justgoing to do enough to get by,
you will not be working for me.
I want servant leaders aroundme that is willing to cover the
blind spots and the dead spacefor others, and the key word
there is redundancy Able to domy job just as well, if not
better, than me, willing to dothings for others when they need

(01:32:57):
that help.
I don't want the individual whois a clock chaser that watches
the clock at a time and leaves.
I want the individual whotrains to a standard, not to
time.
Mediocre organizations remainmediocre.
Great organizations becomeextraordinary when they create
the culture and they have thattype of leadership that chooses

(01:33:20):
to serve others versusthemselves.
So remember that If you'regoing to be mediocre, you're
always going to be mediocre, andif you're working in an
organization that has thatmediocre level of performance,
really reflect on it and thinkabout where you want to go in
life.
The next key takeaway that Ihave is understanding your

(01:33:40):
purpose life.
The next key takeaway that Ihave is understanding your
purpose.
Purpose is critical in lifebecause it provides a anchor
point, a firm foundation ofwhere we want to go in life and
being able to clearlycommunicate that and the way
Steven kind of talks about thatis a purpose is clearly
communicated.
The purpose of this mission isto do X Y Z.

(01:34:01):
The purpose of this piece ofequipment is to do X Y Z.
Well, what is the purpose ofyour life?
Why are you on this planet?
And when you can begin toconnect that, you can begin to
gain momentum in life?
Because now you're workingtowards something, something

(01:34:23):
that inspires you.
Remember my definition ofleadership is to inspire.
That is what leadership is.
It is to be the light, not justfor yourself, not just for your
team, but everyone around you.
And then the final key takeawaythat I have and I love this one
is there is no right leadershipstyle, and I have seen toxic

(01:34:46):
leaders be toxic, not becausethey are truly poor leaders, but
because they've had poorleaders that they modeled and
emulated their leadership styles.
They don't know what rightlooks like, so they emulate
others.

(01:35:06):
You are unique.
You're created by God and youhave your own unique strengths
and characteristics that weregifted to you from God and I'm
not shy about my faith, I boldlydeclare it and you need to
understand what those are.
Find your leadership style, butalso understand that a
leadership style, in essence, islike the water it is malleable.

(01:35:32):
It's like trying to control anocean you can't, but you can
learn to ride the wave.
And that's exactly what Italked about in this podcast
episode.
Stop getting fixated on aspecific type of leadership
style and just be your true,authentic self and adapt to the
situation.

(01:35:52):
And if you can do those things,you are going to knock it out
of the park because you'reserving your organization at an
authentic and vulnerable state.
And when you become vulnerablenot vulnerable about just
whining and crying abouteverything in life, vulnerable
about being authentic, acceptingthat you don't know all the

(01:36:13):
answers, being humble, what wetalked about in this podcast
episode then you're going toachieve great things, your
organization is going to achievegreat things and you're going
to stop chasing success andyou're going to start chasing
significance.
But I want to leave you withthis note and I always leave it
with it, but I have tons ofother leadership resources.
I'm actually in the process ofupdating my website and making

(01:36:36):
it a little bit moreprofessional, but it would mean
the world to me if you could dosome things.
First is share this podcast,but it would mean the world to
me if you could do some things.
First is share this podcast.
Share it with everyone.
Everyone in life is a leader.
You have to learn to leadyourself.
Share this with service members, who need to hear this episode.
Share with civilian leaders.
Share with managers, it doesn'tmatter.

(01:36:58):
Share this podcast episode andhelp me extend my message and
make my vision come true ofimpacting 1 million lives in the
next nine years.
Number two leave me a five-starreview.
It doesn't matter what episodeyou listen to or what platform
you listen on.
The fastest way that I can helpextend my influence out there

(01:37:19):
in this world is by getting moreshares and more reviews, cause
it's like throwing a pebble inthe water one ripple here, one
ripple there.
It's not noticeable, but when Ihave you guys helping me well,
then we start throwing athousand pebbles and becomes
noticeable.
You cannot ignore it anymore.
So help me build that.

(01:37:39):
And then number three is supportthe show.
If you like what you hear, youcan go to tales of leadership.
You can go to make millionleadership coachingcom.
You can go to the buzzsprouthosting site and you can support
in a monetary means andeverything that I get a hundred
percent goes back towardscreating powerful content and
becoming combat multiplier formyself.
So I can continue to creategreat content for you guys.

(01:38:02):
And also go follow me on socialmedia Instagram, linkedin and
Facebook.
Join our private Facebookcommunity.
Purposeful, accountable Leaders.
I would absolutely love to haveyou, but as always, I'm your
host, josh McMillian, sayingevery day is a gift.
Don't waste yours.
I'll see you next time.

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#89 Stephen Morris - Army Veteran Turned Leadership Coach

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#89 Stephen Morris - Army Veteran Turned Leadership Coach