June 30, 2024 • 55 mins
Ready to unlock the mysteries of anal play and bring some fun into the bedroom? This episode of "Talk Dirty to Me" promises to arm you with everything you need to know. From starting the conversation with your partner to navigating pegging with confidence, our expert guests Aaron and Tosin Aoufesso provide actionable advice. We also stress how approaching your first experience as educational can make it far less intimidating. Together, let's break the taboo and explore the depths of pleasure safely and with enthusiasm.
Ever wonder about the etiquette of butt stuff? We've got you covered with crucial hygiene tips to keep infections at bay and ensure a pleasurable experience for everyone. Learn why it's essential to avoid cross-contamination and hear our personal stories that highlight the importance of clear communication and enthusiastic consent. Preparation and self-exploration are key, and we recommend resources like Jack Morin’s "Anal Pleasure and Health" to help you get started. Let's make sure your exploration is safe, fun, and completely respectful.
Curious about enemas and their role in anal play? We're here to bust myths and provide a step-by-step guide to effective and safe usage. From practical advice on minimizing fecal presence to understanding the benefits of condoms for hygiene, we're here to ensure you're well-prepared. We also share personal experiences and discuss the challenges and joys of accommodating different preferences and dynamics in anal sex. Wrap up this episode with us as we express our excitement for future discussions and celebrate the open forum we've created to explore these important topics. Tune in for a fun, informative ride that aims to boost your confidence and your pleasure!
Our vampire kink discord is poppin'! It's super sexy up in there. GET INTO IT!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Well, well, well, Go ahead and open up your ears,
your mind and whatever else youneed.
You're listening to Talk Dirtyto Me.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Hello all you sexy beasts and welcome back to Talk
Dirty to Me, the podcast wherethree friends with three
different perspectives on kink,fetish and sex talk dirty to one
another, and we got a fullhouse for you today, girls and
boys, and everything in between.
We got Aaron, theexperimentalist, Salutations.
Tosin Aoufesso the kink oracle.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Ahoy.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
And myself, kasey, your neighborhood femdom or I,
moonlight as one from time totime, and today, everybody,
let's do anal, shall we?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Yep Butt stuff, all the lube.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Butt stuff to electric boogaloo Ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh.
All the lube Butt stuff toelectric boogaloo.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
So this is, I mean, aconversation about all butt
stuff in general, butspecifically talking about how
to get your partner into buttstuff.
If you're into butt stuff andyou haven't had that
conversation with them or youdon't know how to have that
conversation with them, it isnot always to stick something
(01:21):
directly up their butthole.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
True, there's lots of ways to do it.
Don't do that.
I mean, I have the mostexperience discussing receiving
butt stuff with partners.
I think the three-step approachof have a conversation about it
and see if they're interested agood way to.
I mean, if you're reallynervous and you don't like, have
a mechanism for like having sextalks, play like a sexy dice
(01:47):
rolling game or play truth ordare.
Um, those are easy ways itfeels where it can be like good
to tell secrets, tell fantasiesyeah, I mean, I think, having
conversation.
I try to regularly have fantasyconversations with partners, but
I think those are two easy waysto get into it.
Once you're having that convo,just talk about what you look
(02:09):
like, why you like it, um, anddo not be afraid to talk about
like how good it will make youfeel or how how much you would
enjoy it.
I find that a lot of a largerbarrier than the it for a lot of
sexy things is fear thatthey're going to do it bad and
you're not going to like it any.
(02:30):
Any assuagement of like I'mgoing to enjoy it it's fine if
we don't get it perfect thefirst time.
The reason I want to do withyou is because we'll can have
time to practice and get good atit.
Like assuaging any of thosefears are all good.
Then, depending on everybody'sgenital configuration, if you
have to go get equipment, it'sfun to do that together.
(02:52):
Or go shopping together.
That helps make it feelpersonal to everybody for like
step two of the plan.
So you know, if I want to getpegged, like going online and
picking the right colors andbeing all of the different sizes
and having fun with that makesit all good.
Make it a thing to open it upand put it on, like see how it
fits.
Doing all that, like making allthat a fun, enjoyable, easy
(03:14):
experience, is nice.
And then for the actual doingof it, I strongly suggest that,
like, if your partner is nervousabout it, especially if it's
like I think I'm going to do abad job make the first one
educational, like it can be asterile, nobody's trying to,
nobody's trying to come, we'rejust like figuring out the
geometry.
So we're going to put it on andwe're going to get this out and
(03:36):
we're going to be able to askquestions and laugh and all of
that.
And then practically just toomuch lube, more lube than you
think.
All the lube in the world lube.
So then get more lube and thenlube again.
And then like, get a towel andput lube on that.
Just the lube towel.
Yeah, get the lube of the towel, put that inside you, whatever
you need.
Your butthole does notlubricate the same way that
(03:59):
vaginas and a mouse can.
They do not create their ownlubrication.
So you can hurt yourself.
Easy tears in the buttholehappen, but I wouldn't know
anything about that as people inthis podcast are aware, I've
got no short-term fissure.
Casey's the, the queen of moreexperience the queen of a
(04:20):
fissure that lasted two yearsyeah, and generally that is
trying to go too fast, trying togo too hard, without enough
lube yeah, everybody, I went toofast and too hard, without
enough, just shitting at highspeed just life came at me hard,
(04:40):
fast and no balloon.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
So, tosin, I think that's incredible advice,
especially from the catchingside of the equation, as it were
, the receiving.
I'd like to come at this from adifferent angle as well,
because I have a suspicion thata lot of the people that are
(05:07):
interested in anal are likelypenis havers that are wanting to
approach a partner aboutreceiving anal sex, and I think
that has a different set ofchallenges with it, because that
(05:29):
can sound like a scarierproposition to the other person.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
It's not your butthole at risk.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Yeah, it's not your ass.
On the line One I'm going tostart with, there is an
excellent book called AnalPleasure and Health a guide for
men, women and couples, by JackMorin, phd.
It is worth the read.
It will cover all of thetechnical components, as it were
(06:02):
, and the biggest thing, thebiggest piece of advice to know
up front before approaching them, is that it doesn't need to be,
nor should it be, painful, andanything approaching pain is a
bad thing.
(06:22):
It is a hey stop.
Now the problem there is andI'm going to make some
generalities as a heterosexualmale that has approached women
about anal sex in the past whichis it is highly likely that
whoever you're about to approachhas had anal sex before by some
(06:48):
dumbass that did not use allthe lube Are you talking about
my experience now.
I guess.
So yes, case in point.
Frankly, like every woman I'vetalked to about anal sex, some
of which kind of like in laterin life, have become curious
(07:08):
about it again, withoutexception, they've had a shitty
experience.
Some asshole has just thoughtthat the surprise approach was a
good idea, the little lubeapproach was a good idea, the no
warm up was a good idea.
So you've got that to get pastand that is something just to be
(07:31):
aware of, at no fault ofyourself being a kind,
compassionate penis haver thatwants to create this pleasurable
and new experience for you andyour partner.
They're going to be nervous,they're going to be hesitant.
So, with that as the preamble,my first suggestion hot take and
(07:55):
this kind of goes a bit to someof what I was talking about on
our last episode is I wouldstart by not talking about it.
My first thing would not be tohave a conversation.
This is not a surprise themeither.
There are ways to gradually,subtly, being attuned to
feedback, show your partner that, more than just the front part,
(08:17):
you can experience pleasure inways that are not crossing a
line.
So that's everything from whenyou're going down on them.
Go past, if it's a woman, thebottom of the labia and move
your tongue along the taint alittle bit, starting at the top,
(08:38):
see if they respond.
If they're enjoying it, then dothat for a little bit, then go
back.
Same thing with fingers, likeputting a little pressure on
that taint area, is anotherthing that can show that it can
be pleasurable.
And then you can have like abit of a conversation of like
(09:02):
hey, you seem to really enjoythat, or what do you think of
that?
I would say that it is based offof positive feedback from your
partner.
It is safe to go up to theperimeter of the butthole with
touching, with some type ofsimulation, without conversation
(09:27):
, provided there is positivefeedback.
And that can be a way of justshowing them that hey, like this
can feel good and that you arenot going to ram anything in
there.
And then, yes, like well, weshould.
I'd like us to talk aboutconversations, ways to bring it
up, but that would be mysuggestion of just laying the
(09:50):
foundation of showing yourpartner that it can be
pleasurable, without spookingthem and being fully aware of
the fact that they've had ashitty experience Pardon the pun
there before.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Got a lot of good ass puns in there.
Shitty experience pardon thepun there before dropped a lot
of good ass buttons in there.
Yeah, and, and I would also sayI'd also add, like perimeter
check, if you will, maybe not asconfidently with strangers.
You know, I I've, I've gonedown on somebody for a first one
night stand and like they'rejust heavily arching their hips
to put their butthole up there,like yeah, I can tell that
(10:24):
that's what they're going for.
But I would say, you know, ifyou haven't built a relationship
with this person and you don'thave like any gauge of the signs
and things like that, maybe,just maybe, just ask for it.
Don't do, don't, don't, don'thit a perimeter check.
It's hard, yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
I, yeah, I agree with that.
I think that just when someoneis new, it somehow can be easier
to just kind ofmatter-of-factly approach some
of that stuff.
The challenge is, when you'vebeen in a long-term relationship
with someone, or you've evenbeen in, like many, a sexual
(11:03):
interaction and it's somethingyou're interested in exploring,
then it can be a bit more of amaze to navigate, if you will.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah, delicate, diplomatic and subtle is is
viable, especially in, likelong-term relationships, cause
it's also very easy, like I like, I like what you're saying is
like just bringing it up cold.
If they have a bad experienceabout it, they're just
immediately going to responddefensively, like if they don't
have any positive correlation toit at all.
(11:34):
But you know, I was like, hey,I noticed you like those tank
licks that 10 or 12 times we'vedone it.
I'm just saying I can go thedistance.
I watched Hercules.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Preach Casey, what's on your mind?
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Two things.
One I just want to put outthere very important PSA, in
case you do not know ifsomething goes into a butthole
it will do not.
Do not then put it back intothe vagina.
You hear me?
Don't do it.
(12:11):
Don't go even in around thevagina.
Are you fucking kidding meright now?
I just wanted to clarify thatbecause you were like go back.
I think if you're on theoutside being very delicate,
you're like go in and then maybego back to the vagina.
Just don't like, unless youwant to give your partner or
your stranger or whatever, aroaring, terrible yeast
infection.
Don't want something goes intothe butthole.
(12:33):
It is no longer for the vaginahole.
You have made a commitment tothe other hole with that object
or body.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
You are parked in the caboose part of the train for
the rest of the ride.
Yep, yep, buy a new.
You gotta buy a new ticketbefore that also.
Also, uh, don't lick a butthole.
Go to your bathroom mouthwashand return to a vagina.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Antiseptic mouthwash is just not great for the biome
homie yeah, in case anybody'tknow, the vagina is a delicate
ecosystem.
Like you can give a girl ayeast infection because you
don't wash yourself enough orbrush your teeth enough.
Like, if you really likevaginas, go ahead and be very
hygienic, because I guaranteeyou are fucking somebody's shit
(13:23):
up and sometimes people justdon't go together very well.
Um, biome, biome Lee speaking,and like, no matter what you do,
you just if it fucks a vaginaand not a great way.
Anyway, I, you know, I havelike I'm thinking of all the
times somebody has interactedwith my anus.
Um, people I've been inlong-term relationships with,
(13:46):
never casual like their.
Their response was hey, Ireally want to try butt sex.
You want to try butt sex?
There was nothing wrong withthat.
To me, that request, and then itwas with somebody once who I
guess had a little moreexperience with anal and like we
never really talked about itand I think I talked about this
on a podcast recently.
I I'm not sure.
So sorry for repeating myself,but he, like we were making out
(14:08):
and he just ended up kind ofrubbing my back door a little
bit.
He didn't go inside and sincenobody had ever really touched
it before, it was really rousingand I was like, oh my God,
that's amazing.
And then it was like you know,you do a drug the first time and
it like changes your world.
And then you chase that highbecause it's never the same.
I guess never as good, becauseyou've already experienced it.
(14:28):
It was the same, it's the same.
Nobody's ever touched mybutthole again and it's been as
mind blowing as it was thatfirst time.
But like, so he did it that way.
He just like we're making outand kind of like went with a
finger casually there.
And then I had anothergentleman who we were making out
and stuff and he kind of wentback there, like the other guy
(14:49):
did, but then looked at me andsaid is it okay if I touch you
there?
And I am on board with all ofthese methods.
I don't necessarily think youhave have to like casually drop
hints.
I mean it might, it might be agood idea.
I'm not saying it's not, butlike I've never had a bad
experience with somebody.
But I am like an open personwho is okay with receiving weird
(15:14):
requests and not that.
But sex is weird, but like it'snot, I'm not the person to be
embarrassed in front of, I do.
I do.
Just think that if you areinterested in, if you are, if
you have a penis and you'reinterested in sticking that
penis in a butthole, that youread a goddamn book like don't
(15:35):
just be curious and then put itin a butthole because you will
be doing it poorly, you will bebad at butt sex.
Okay, that's my experience withboth the people who are like
hey, I want to, I want to stickin here, can we try it?
I want to stick in here, like Imean and maybe it's the phrase
was you want to try it andthey'd never really done it
(15:57):
before.
Right, and now, if somebodysays that to me, my response is
going to be like do you haveexperience with this?
What pieces of things have youread?
Because in my experience, thetwo times it happened there was
no lube, no warmup, no anything.
It was just like straight in ashard penis straight in.
And I didn't know eitherbecause I hadn't read a book and
(16:18):
I just assumed people werebetter than that.
But no, no, they are not.
So everybody should read a bookabout butt sex if you want to
give it or receive it before youeven contemplate that with a
partner.
It's not the same.
It's not the same as juststicking in a vagina.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
It's not the same yeah, I, I also I take.
If you have a penis and youwant to put that penis in a
butthole, you should putsomething in your butthole
preach, because not even like itdoesn't have to be a whole
experience, but like if you'venever inserted something into
(16:55):
your butthole.
You the dip, the, the knowledgedistance between never having
putting something in yourbutthole and putting a finger,
toothbrush, small, whatever youwant in your butthole.
The knowledge difference isvast.
Like you, like youautomatically learn the lube
(17:16):
part.
You automatically learn that,like you need to take your time,
that that sphincter has torelax in a certain way, that,
like it, it's not as forgivingto friction and as one would
think, right.
And you also have the conceptof like, oh, this should not be
(17:37):
any more uncomfortable thanshits I've taken.
Sorry, put that way, but as faras like what it feels like to
have things in there, you have areference for what comfortable
expansion of your rectum is.
This is the weirdest sentenceI've ever said.
So the idea that anal needs tohurt doesn't make sense if you
(17:59):
shit comfortably.
Um.
So, like all of the like Istrong, I just I'm not saying
it's impossible, but it feels Igive, I'm giving you the side
eye If you're like no, no, no,no, no, no, no, no, don't put
anything in my butt.
No, I don't want to do it.
Don't get anything in there.
It freaks me out.
(18:19):
I don't want to do it but youreally want to put.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Alright, I'm going to actually defend the other side
of that.
As someone that enjoys havingstuff in my butt, it would be
very valuable and useful and,yes, if that is something you
are comfortable with, do Like.
It will give you plenty ofinformation.
Like, trim your nails beforeyou try to stick a finger in
there.
Now, on the other hand, as weall deal with in our own
(18:58):
different ways societal stigmas,another mountain to climb for a
penis haver is breaking thatassociation that, oh, I enjoy
some level of anal play.
You know I must be gay and soif you've got that association
(19:22):
and you're dealing with thatbullshit like one, that just
isn't the case.
But I am going to put out therethat I'm not going to side-eye
(19:46):
a dude that would like toexperience giving anal sex but
isn't in a mental place to becomfortable with personal anal
play.
It's shitty that that there isthat association and that's
something that men need.
You know hetero men need todeal with.
I'm not buying it Like dude.
If you want to stick your dickin some girl's butt and you
don't want something stuck inyour butt like hey, it's
(20:09):
legitimate if she says no andthat's fine, and if she's not
interested in it.
But you don't need to stickanything in in your butt.
Approach that it'd make youmore empathetic but, you don't
agree to disagree.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
We have to agree to disagree.
I think I don't, I don't thinkyou should think of it as like
it's just like an important,like thing, that sensory
experience to have if you wantto do it to somebody else, just
to know what it is like yeah,and and to be clear, like I you
(20:45):
know I I grew up in the church,I liked dicks and for a good
long time I also have like thebutt block, just from the jesus
of it all the jesus of it alland so, like I, I sympathize
with just like no criticalthinking past things in my butt.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Like I, I, I, I sympathize with that.
I can see having that andwanting to put some, wanting to
do butt stuff with other peoplebecause you've worked, worked it
in your worldview that this isthe okay version of that and the
other version is just heinous.
Um, I'm more talking about.
(21:30):
Um, I'm more talking about likethat guy is going to be, like,
oh yeah, you know, I just, Ididn't, that's not something
that like I do, I don't, I don'tknow, like I've never
approached it, I've never wantedto, I've never wanted to do it.
I think it's wrong to do for mento have stuff in their butt
Like that's one guy and stillside eye, but that is more fine
(21:53):
than the like, no, no, no, no,no, I'm not gonna.
No, you, nothing goes in mybutt.
Nah, man, that's, that's, I'mnot gonna.
If you're that guy, I don'tknow about you putting stuff in
people's butt.
I don't know, because it alsodoesn't make sense like if that,
if you're that way about yourown butt, what makes you
interested in butts?
Because I've also met the groupof people that are just like.
(22:17):
I also met the group of peoplethat was like nah man, that's
dirty when they're talking aboutdoing it to themselves and are
fine with butt stuff with otherpeople.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
And I'm like Now, that doesn't make any sense to
me Exactly.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Exactly and yeah, like that doesn't make any sense
to me Exactly, exactly, andyeah, yeah, I don't know, I mean
just just educationally, likeyou're, just if you care about
giving making it a goodexperience for your partner,
you're going and you have apenis, you're.
I have not met a single personthat has never put something in
their butt.
That is better at anal sex thansomeone that has put something
(22:54):
in their butt has never seen it.
I've never heard of it.
All the stories of people thatare like we have great anal sex
are also people who haveattempted or are comfortable
with like exploring it somewhatthemselves, or at least have
tried it a couple of times, andor porn stars, or they're the
only two people that have everhad sex with each other, are the
(23:16):
only situations I've heard ofthat I doubt you could find a
porn star, male or female, thatnothing's ever been up their
butt though I think manuelferreira is is butt free and he
does a lot of anal sex scenes I
Speaker 3 (23:30):
could be wrong.
I've seen him.
I saw one.
We said this wasn't going to bethe porn episode, but I saw one
where I believe it was lenapaul who put a finger up there
oh, all right, all right I'llhave to consult the archives on
that one.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
But I look, I, I look , I go through Manuel Ferreira
encyclopedia.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
So kind of pulling back around and, you know, going
back to putting something youknow, kind of experimenting on
yourself to know the first thingthat you're going to learn, or
the thing to be the most awareof, is that it is a muscle.
(24:16):
The sphincter is a muscle,which means that it's and if
you've never had anything upthere, it's going to be a tight
ass, which means you talk toyour partner, they're open to it
, they're interested in it.
(24:37):
Start by massaging and rubbingthe outside for a long time,
giving them time to relax, andthen you're going to put a
little pressure on it and thatthing's gonna pucker right back
up and go back to massaging itand being in.
(25:00):
Just like there are so manynerve endings back there, you go
down on them.
While they're doing that,they're gonna you're probably
gonna have to do this severaltimes because of just they're
going to run out of orgasms.
Start with a finger and onceyou get trimmed fingernails,
(25:20):
once you get a finger in therethat doesn't do not finger bang
the asshole.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Don't do it.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Leave.
You know, start by just leavingit in there, like as soon as
you have penetrated, it's goingto tighten up again.
Give it time to relax and thenslowly move in and out.
Twisting actions are going tohurt, are going to be less
comfortable than a slow in andout motion.
(25:53):
Do that and that is going to bethe end of your first anal
penetration with your partner.
And you're going to do thatagain another time, maybe even a
third time or a fourth, maybeeven a third time or a fourth.
(26:17):
Um, if you then want to try toupgrade, to upgrade, if you want
to then try moving topenetrating with your penis, be
careful.
I will say that in myexperience, a penis typically
like the difference betweentrying to do two fingers and a
penis is neck and neck forcomfort wise, if it is painful
(26:43):
and you don't know an in-betweenthere, there are things you can
get them on Amazon called analdilators.
You can get them on Amazoncalled anal dilators.
They're essentially butt plugsthat look like ring sizers.
They go up in very small sizesand pretty much anyone can
(27:05):
stretch their ass to take apenis-sized thing.
And if you're having troublewith without accessories, anal
dilators 30 minutes a day insideof a week, maybe two, no
problem, properly stretched yogayou mean, just wear it around.
(27:36):
So the instructions that I'veseen as I've never purchased one
or used one or had a partneruse them is they don't.
So typically when you get abutt plug or something that's
wearable, you want to make surethat the base is flared out,
substantially larger than thewidest point going in, and
that's what makes it wearable.
Well, that's not really whatyou want in an anal dilator is
(28:00):
that curved shape and then atighter base that then flares
back out.
That works well for wearing,but that means that you're going
to have to go through somethingeven wider than what you're
comfortable with to get tosomething that is just kind of
like the buttholes restingaround.
(28:21):
So the anal dilators that I'veseen, they're more of something
to like put in and then hang outin place for a half an hour,
read a book, watch a TV episodeor something, and then pop out
and go about your day.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Toastin.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
I'm just laughing, do I have?
Speaker 3 (28:44):
my bases covered there.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
No, no, yeah, you nailed it.
I know a couple of people withvaginismus use vaginal dilators
and it's like a like thestretching exercise is one of
the one of like put the dilatorin for a segment of time, take
it out for a resting period, putit in for a time, take it out,
do that a few times and then youjust like increase the length
(29:08):
of time that you can likesustain it being in there, um,
and then you go up in thedilator size once you hit I
think it's 30 minutes, but I'mnot sure.
But it's like your first onecan be like in for a minute, out
for a minute, in for a minute,out for a minute and then stop,
and then it can be once you getup to like you can have it in
there comfortably for a certainamount of time.
Then you're, then you can startthat process over with
something that's a size up untilyou get to the size of the
(29:32):
penis you want in there nowlet's talk about some realities.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
you're you're working up, your partner's ready to go?
If you knock on poop store,don't be surprised if poop comes
out.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Poop's going to happen Like just everybody
poop's going to happen.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
Just part of the game .
Now, if it's something that youwant to minimize, like so the
thing is, is that your partnercan do an enema and that
typically will pretty well cleanthings out.
Fleet enemas are great.
You can get them at cvsdisposables.
(30:22):
The thing to be cognizant ofthere is that your partner is
quite probably already steppinga bit outside of their comfort
zone and if they bring upconcerns about knocking on poop
(30:46):
store and poop being there,that's the solution.
I wouldn't be like, oh hey, andcan you use this thing before
we get started?
If you think that it's going tobe dirty or you have some
concerns about the poop, condomsand if it's a partner you don't
know, definitely condoms.
(31:07):
But if it's a partner that youknow and all that's set up,
condoms are nice for just you.
Can you kind of throw them offafterwards and it's not, as
there's not as much dirt,there's not as much poop
involved or direct contact let'spoop the skin contact yeah in
(31:31):
the same.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Yeah, yeah, and just physiologically.
Let's just break down somemyths.
You do not store poop in yourrectum.
Poop's only in your rectumwhile it's moving from your
lower, lower intestine intowherever it's going.
So, unless you're constipatedor you have some type of issue,
(31:54):
you have cinctures on both sidesof your rectum, where the
butthole is and the poop comesout and to block and the
different and where it is whenit's being created in your
intestine.
So there's not just poop in therectum.
If you encounter, if you'vetaken a shit and it's like of
normal consistency for you, thenyou are going to have limited
(32:18):
poop residue in your rectum.
It does a good job of makingsure that, like not a lot of
poop is left there.
Usually, what happens if youencounter poop and somebody is
like already taking one which issaying poop a lot today is just
from like somebody has likealready taken one which is
saying poop a lot today is justfrom like depth and pressure and
pushing up against to thetowards the end of it, and then
you can.
You'll usually get some on thetip.
(32:39):
If it's like that, that canjust happen, just from like
leftover stuff in there.
But it's generally fine, likeI've never, ever done an enema
and I have had hundreds ofthings in my butt and I would
say I can see poop on thingslike 40% of the time and it's
(33:06):
not a lot.
And also if you have a penis,and also if you have a penis the
only like, if you don't haveany cuts or anything, you're not
going to get infected from poopbeing on your penis unless it
gets into your urethra.
And if you're following thenormal sex rule of pee after sex
(33:30):
, like you're going to clean,you'll clean it out.
So it's pretty difficult to getany type of fecal infection
from penis to poop contact innormal situations.
So it's not that big a deal.
Also, as a parent who changesdiapers everybody just calm down
, it's not that big a deal, it'sjust poop.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Everybody poops.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
As someone with a partner who we enema all the
time.
You're right, it isn't a bigdeal.
We enjoy just.
We like that clean feeling andI would say fecal matter 1% of
the time, 2% of the time it doeslower it down a whole lot, but
(34:13):
tough lesson learned.
So, and this goes back toyou're like hmm, I'm interested
in enemas, maybe I should tryone.
Well, if you take my initialattitude, which is oh hey, if
like a little bit of salinesolution or the prescribed
amount is good, then doing anextra large amount will make you
(34:36):
super clean.
No, no, because that amountgoes past that initial area into
this next part of you, and whatthat means is that you're just
going to be a little diarrhea-yfor hours and hours on end.
So, normal size enema do therecommended amount.
(35:02):
More is not better there.
More is diarrhea.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Yeah, I can speak to enemas.
I have one in my shower.
Don't worry people, I don'tpoop in my shower.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Somebody saw that and they were like do you?
Speaker 2 (35:13):
shit in your shower.
I was like, yeah, I shit in myshower.
Don't worry people, I don'tpoop in my shower.
Somebody saw that and they werelike do you shit in your shower
?
I was like, yeah, my shit in myshower.
Thank you so much, I just usewater.
I don't even use saline, I usewater and I put it in real slow
and I'm you know when you'redone?
You know when you're done, yeah, uh-huh you know when you're
(35:35):
done.
I evidently have no gauge, whichis why I like the little fleets
, because I know when thebottle's empty if you can empty
a bottle in there and you don'thave a sensation of, oh, it's
time to stop, that means youcould probably take more you
know that would make sense, butwithout it going into the place
(35:55):
where you get diarrhea all thetime now.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
So I understand as a non-anima half dunner.
The process is filling yourbutthole with water yeah and
then shitting it out shitting itout
Speaker 2 (36:15):
yeah it.
It forces a bowel movement.
If anything's in there, ithelps to come out.
So if you're chronicallyconstipated, like me, or you
have a chronic spherine chronicfissure, like I did for two
years, it like solves thoseproblems for you, because it may
it.
Basically, I think in mostpeople.
Um, if you're constipated, itsoftens the consistency of the
(36:37):
fecal matter in your body whichhelps it come out easier.
If it doesn't do that, um, itjust cut like it takes
everything and forces it outfaster.
And if you have a fissure, thatis desire.
It sounds like it would beaggressive and not desirable,
but it is better.
It is desire promise enema ifyou have a fissure, every time
until it's healed.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
Now did you put the water in and then like, so lay
on my back and like the fetalposition, or with my knees up,
for three minutes and then?
Speaker 2 (37:07):
No, I mean there was a long period of time.
You just really like spray it onout, Like I didn't go to the
bathroom without an enema.
I stand up in my shower.
I had a bag for a while and Iwould.
In fact, when you have a bagyou have to lay on the floor
because you have to be below thebag.
So I would like get a towel outand, like, lay on it, put the
thing on my butt and then thegravity would empty the bag and
(37:29):
even then I was like the bagthought I needed to have more in
my body than I did and I neverreally took the full amount and
I wouldn't lay there.
I'd get up and go to thebathroom in the shower when I
don't even lay down, Cause Idon't, I don't have to.
I'd like stand in the shower, Imake sure the water's warm, I
put it up my butt, I turn itonto the appropriate pressure
and I wait until I feel like I'mgoing to shit myself if I put
(37:54):
more water in, Like until thestrength of my pucker will be
outdone by the water pressureinside my anus and then I remove
it and luckily my toilet isright next to my shower.
So I just boop, I step over andI and I you know, I I evacuate.
Speaker 3 (38:10):
All right, we spent a lot of time on enemas, but
there's one thing I've got tobring up while we're on the
topic Bucket list item for mehave y'all ever heard of coffee
enemas?
Yeah, I did one, I've done them.
Ooh, I mean.
So I don't know if thisqualifies under the talk dirty
to me, but talk coffee to me fora second.
What was that like?
Speaker 2 (38:30):
for a second.
What was that like?
It was fine.
It wasn't any different than itwas.
I'm sure there's great effects.
It's not like I had moreevacuation with coffee than I
did.
I mean, if there are healthbenefits to it, I didn't notice.
I do have a bag of coffee in myfreezer that's specifically for
(38:51):
enemas.
I think there's a special kindof coffee you need to use, so
just don't get your breakfastbeans to get up your butt.
Yeah, but I did.
That was a time where I did layon the floor and it's like let
it percolate for however manyminutes or whatever.
I remember I did this protocolwhen I first got my enema bag
because of my fissure, and itwas like first you're going to
do regular water, then you'regoing to do salt water.
(39:14):
Then they had like this specialherbal soap she was, and they
were like put the soap in thebag, let it like dissolve a
little bit, and I basically likewashed the inside of my butt
out with soap water and thenthey were like now do the coffee
one.
And I could not get throughthat whole.
It was just so much water on mybutt.
Eventually I was like no, thankyou.
Like it's not just so muchwater up my butt.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Eventually, I was like.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
No, thank you, it's not the best.
If you don't mind enemas, doinga coffee enema is probably
great, but you weren't wellcaffeinated afterwards.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Yeah, it was like the delivery system of caffeine.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
I think that's why they're special beans.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Is it caffeine?
That's bullshit.
Never mind, I'm out think.
That's why they're specialbeans.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
That's bullshit.
There's like extra coffee cupsbecause of the intake mechanism
okay, it is optimal health.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
Network ground coffee , coffee especially for enemas,
fair trade, organic shade grown.
Does it have caffeine in it?
this is what it looks like incase we have this video to one
quart of distilled water atthree tablespoons finely ground
organic coffee.
Boil brisk for three minutesand then simmer for 12.
Filter out the grounds using afine strainer or pour strainer
(40:29):
lined with cheesecloth.
Cheesecloth or non-dyed t-shirt.
This will result in somethingless than a quarter liquid.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
It doesn't really say caffeinecontent.
I'm sure if you google it theinternet will be like don't use
caffeine.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
I mean maybe well, I mean I can't imagine that the
meme of it has to be about likeboofing coffee yeah, I mean,
that's what my desired outcome'sbeen what I wanted to try.
Speaker 3 (41:02):
I just want to be as hyper as fuck it didn't make the
paper as fuck I'm gonna take ahard left turn because I don't
know how we get from coffeepooping to uh, back to anal sex.
But, toson, two-part questionfor you.
First one is would you consideryourself more of a verse or a
(41:24):
bottom?
Speaker 1 (41:27):
I am a service switch through and through.
Okay, I'm going to be inclined,yeah, I'm going to be inclined
to what is going to be mostpleasurable to whoever I'm with.
Like, I currently don't have alot of butt sex because I'm not
around a lot of people who likehaving a lot of butt sex and as
(41:47):
far as my like completely,completely self-gratifying
sexual needs, they're fairlysimple.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
So, as I understand it, you are rather well endowed.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
I don't have any complaints.
Speaker 3 (42:03):
From context clues, you say no complaints, but I
guess where this is going isthat, do you find?
Speaker 1 (42:10):
it-.
How do you handle the thickerdick situations?
Speaker 3 (42:12):
Yeah, do you find it that you've got to find, like,
partners that are Stretchier?
Just from kind of clues, itfeels like people would really
need to work up to you.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Yeah, so like I get a .
I am approached often amongstlike gay men who are like I want
you to top me If they mentionanything about like I want to
try bottoming for the first time.
I am like I'm not a beginner,course I I would.
I mean we can give it a goodcollege try if I'm feeling like
(42:45):
it and like you've excited me bythe amount that you want it.
Um, but like early on, when Iwas like doing it more often,
yeah, it often was just likewe're not having sex.
I'm just kind of like pushingmy dick against your butthole,
which feels fine and all and,and I've been on the and I've
done the same thing.
(43:06):
Like I've been trying thebottom for people who are just
gargantuan and I'm like, well,we're just we're just rubbing
your dickhead against mybutthole, which feels great, but
it's not, it's not happeninglike this is, it's not gonna
happen.
It's earlier on, I can, I cantake most things now, but yeah,
(43:30):
no, I the and and to your point,it's like it does, it can work.
Um, I definitely have hadexperiences with people who
don't have a lot of bottomingexperience.
If you take enough time to likerelax and especially if you're
like depending on the way thatyour dick is shaped, because I
don't have a significantlylarger head than the rest of my
(43:51):
penis.
So like the taper kind of worksfor easing in Um, and so the if
you take your time and you'relike, you're fine with
hotdogging for a while and likelicking buttholes and and
opening up the areas and usingusing lots and lots of lube.
Um, there is also a cheat codein the gay community.
(44:15):
Are y'all familiar with poppers?
so I've not tried them, but I'veyeah, yeah, poppers will
significantly increase the speedwith which your butthole relax,
fairly instantaneous.
Uh, it's why it's popular inthe gay community, because it's
like you take a hit of poppers,you are.
(44:36):
You pretty much relax a lot ofyour muscles in your body and it
becomes easier for insertion.
And once you, once you, onceyou get the first full strokes
in, then everything kind ofstarts to compensate if you're
lubricated well enough.
Speaker 3 (44:57):
So while I haven't experienced poppers on either
end, muscle relaxers also work.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
They also work Given the name inherent in the name.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
Yeah, it was like one day this, so I've got a bad
back, and one day this lightbulb went off and I was like,
wait, a second.
Muscle relaxers this is amuscle and yeah, they work, but
I mean, you're just gonna wantto take a nap afterwards yeah,
yeah or during, depending on howit's going um, we're um nearing
the end of our hour.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
Is there any other like important tips or factoids
that anybody or questions thatwe want to make sure to get in
here?
Speaker 1 (45:43):
uh, I think, I think important in, since we're casing
this and like having aconversation with your partner
is like there are going to bepeople who have this
conversation and your partner isgoing to be like no, always, no
, never, yes, that's fine.
(46:03):
Like, please, like there is noversion of advice that we can
give you to convince someone whodoes not want to have anal sex.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
Yes and let it be a no, and that's fine yeah, we're.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
we're specifically talking about there.
There seems to be amenable andlike curiosity about having that
experience.
If your partner is, no, I don'twant to do it.
That's the end of the game.
And if it's really important toyou for your sex life, like you
(46:39):
can have discussions aboutseeking other people to do that
with, but, like, as far as thatpartner there is, no, there's
nothing past.
No, I don't want to do it,that's the end of the
conversation.
Mm-hmm, the that's the end ofthe conversation.
Speaker 3 (46:56):
I'm going to just circle back around and put in
another plug for this book Plug.
I'm really working all of that.
You hit it all Like.
You got the.
You hit the, I got bingo onbutt plug puns from you.
But Anal Pleasure and Health AGuide for Men, women, women and
couples by Jack Morin PhD.
(47:16):
Yeah, I've read it.
It's excellent.
It covers all the bases.
If it's something you'reinterested in engaging with a
partner and it is not somethingyou're experienced with, start
there.
Speaker 2 (47:33):
Go ahead with start there um go ahead.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
yeah, also, if you've never done butt stuff and
you're trying to gauge in yourhead whether you enjoy butt
stuff, if you can answer thequestion of like, tell me about
a time where shit felt reallygood.
If, if you have a story likethat, you're going to like butt
(47:56):
stuff Because that's the unlessthe story is like something
whimsical or magical happened.
But if, like, I enjoy thesensation of this shit, it was a
good one.
I thought about it later You'regoing to like butt stuff.
Speaker 3 (48:11):
That's hilarious, he's not wrong.
He is not wrong.
It's making gonna like buttstuff.
That's hilarious, he's notwrong.
Speaker 2 (48:14):
He is not wrong that's making me reconsider,
butt stuff well, you're adifferent case.
Speaker 1 (48:19):
You have a long history of incredibly painful
shit incredibly painful thingshappening in my butt.
Speaker 2 (48:25):
I'm gonna circle back because I was distracted,
because my work slacked me at 9,30 at night, when you're in the
middle of this topic.
But oh, I'm circling back tothe middle when we're talking
about if you want to do tosomebody, try it yourself.
And, as a woman from a veryyoung age, we're told, like, get
a mirror down there and look atit, and like, put a finger
inside, like, get to knowyourself.
(48:46):
And I think the same thing canbe applied to a butt.
Even if you don't want toreceive anal sex, you should be,
like, familiar with your backdoor enough to know if, like if,
something's wrong with it,right, like.
I think everybody should be ina place where they're
comfortable enough to sticktheir finger up their butt in a
totally non-sexual way.
(49:07):
And also, because I did havesuch a bad fissure, I did have
to go to the proctologist.
And first of all, I'd like toacknowledge how hard of a thing
it is to do to make anappointment and go to the
proctologist.
There's something very it'slike.
I think everybody feels a lotof shame around it, and it's
like it's just hard.
I will give you this hot tip,though and this is true of
(49:28):
Austin, texas, I don't know ifit's true of anywhere else it is
like a four month wait to getan appointment at a
proctologist's office.
So if you need one, don't wait.
Go make it right now.
Make one preemptively, just incase you need one in four months
, because when you want oneyou're going to need it real bad
and you're going to have towait.
(49:49):
Secondly, when I went to thatappointment, I was shocked at
the number of people in thewaiting room and how none of
them were men.
It was like a waiting roomfilled with women and I was like
I thought partologist officeswere like for dudes I don't know
why I thought that and gettingthings put in their butthole and
(50:15):
it keeps them from going to thedoctor when it's necessary,
which then causes a lot oftragedy, because a lot of stuff
that happens back there with mengoes untreated.
So if I could impart anythingonto our listeners, it would be
like you may have a lot of shamearound your butthole if you're
a guy and the idea of stickingsomething in it makes you really
(50:37):
uncomfortable and rejected andlike feel a lot of shame or
defensiveness or feeldehumanized or vulnerable or
whatever.
But it would behoove everybodyto get themselves to a place
where they can not categorizetheir butthole in that capacity
and allow it to be as sacred asan okay and neutral and fine as
(51:00):
the rest of your body.
You can stick your finger inyour nose, you can stick your
finger in your butthole, butlike, not in that order, I'm
just saying like make it asnormal as all the other holes in
your body.
It's totally fine, and if youare unwell down there, go to the
doctor.
There will be many.
It's a great place to pick upwomen partologist office.
Speaker 1 (51:26):
that's the new tender y'all.
Yeah, and a joke that I havemade before in just trying to
bring specifically like heteromen, like across the line is now
(51:46):
, of course there's going to beoutliers of like it's really
always going to be a badexperience of like it's really
always going to be a badexperience.
But I can say confidentlyyou're probably missing out on
something and my evidence is Ihave been on Grindr for years
and I've been on Grindr in manycities and several states and
(52:09):
what do you think the top tobottom ratio is on Grindr?
I don't know.
It is one to a hundred.
I am not exaggerating.
Yeah, it is one to a hundred.
And if an app that is set upfor casual sexual encounters,
this is collecting the horniestand neediest of people who want
(52:31):
sexual gratification, and thevast majority of them are
bottoms.
Something must be reallyawesome about having stuff in
your butt.
Just there's got to be a reason.
I do not know many people whohave walked from bottom to verse
(52:52):
to top exclusively.
I know tons of people who wentfrom top to verse to bottom
exclusively, Like as soon assomething got got in there, and
they were like, oh, I can justdo this, I'm going to do that.
Somebody fucked me please.
So you're, you're, you, you were.
You are missing out on a humanexperience that I strongly
(53:12):
recommend.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (53:14):
Amen to that.
Speaker 2 (53:15):
Amen to that.
So with that, labia andGenitals, thank you so much for
listening to another episode ofTalk to Regenemy.
Until next time, let's all try,maybe touching our butthole a
little bit, shall we?
Just a little bit, just the tip.
Speaker 1 (53:36):
With lots of lube All sobbing on our couch, because I
was just like admitting thispart of myself that I had not
told anyone about those firstexplorations are really the um,
the most intimate and the onesthat really kind of stay.
Speaker 2 (53:51):
That's something that that I still I am still.
Speaker 1 (53:54):
I've been in therapy still am struggling to like turn
off in my brain.
Speaker 2 (53:59):
We come out with these guards and it's hard to
then figure out how to put themdown.
Speaker 1 (54:04):
I want to feel more empowered in my body, because I
grew up not feeling that way.
Oh sin.
Speaker 2 (54:10):
Everybody's wiping away tears.
I am.
That was perfect.
I look forward to the day whenour society's progressed past
the point where it's just likethis kind of universally
accepted witch hunt againstanybody who even tries to ask
for help.
So happy that a podcast likethis exists, that you guys have
a forum where you can talk soopenly about things and, just
(54:35):
especially for me, like everyepisode is eye-opening on a
different perspective.
Speaker 3 (54:39):
This is the podcast I always wished existed, so I'm
excited to be a part of it.
Speaker 1 (54:43):
It really does seem like we're helping people.
Speaker 2 (54:45):
This podcast really is sexy.
Speaker 1 (54:47):
Glad we're back for a third season.
Well, I guess we should do ouroutro, casey, do the thingy, but
do it sexy.
Speaker 2 (54:54):
Talk Dirty to Me is a podcast by Little Renegade
Films.
It stars Casey Samuels.
Speaker 1 (54:59):
You heard what the man said.
Speaker 2 (55:00):
Do it sexy, okay, okay, I'll do it sexy God.
Speaker 1 (55:09):
Talk.
Speaker 2 (55:09):
Dirty to Me is a podcast by Little Renegade Films
.
It stars Casey Samie, tosinAwafeso and Scruggs.
For more of our offerings, goto littlerenegadefilmscom Mmm.
Well, well, well, Go ahead and open up your ears,
your mind and whatever else youneed.
You're listening to Talk Dirtyto Me.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Hello all you sexy beasts and welcome back to Talk
Dirty to Me, the podcast wherethree friends with three
different perspectives on kink,fetish and sex talk dirty to one
another, and we got a fullhouse for you today, girls and
boys, and everything in between.
We got Aaron, theexperimentalist, Salutations.
Tosin Aoufesso the kink oracle.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Ahoy.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
And myself, kasey, your neighborhood femdom or I,
moonlight as one from time totime, and today, everybody,
let's do anal, shall we?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Yep Butt stuff, all the lube.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Butt stuff to electric boogaloo Ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh.
All the lube Butt stuff toelectric boogaloo.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
So this is, I mean, aconversation about all butt
stuff in general, butspecifically talking about how
to get your partner into buttstuff.
If you're into butt stuff andyou haven't had that
conversation with them or youdon't know how to have that
conversation with them, it isnot always to stick something
(01:21):
directly up their butthole.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
True, there's lots of ways to do it.
Don't do that.
I mean, I have the mostexperience discussing receiving
butt stuff with partners.
I think the three-step approachof have a conversation about it
and see if they're interested agood way to.
I mean, if you're reallynervous and you don't like, have
a mechanism for like having sextalks, play like a sexy dice
(01:47):
rolling game or play truth ordare.
Um, those are easy ways itfeels where it can be like good
to tell secrets, tell fantasiesyeah, I mean, I think, having
conversation.
I try to regularly have fantasyconversations with partners, but
I think those are two easy waysto get into it.
Once you're having that convo,just talk about what you look
(02:09):
like, why you like it, um, anddo not be afraid to talk about
like how good it will make youfeel or how how much you would
enjoy it.
I find that a lot of a largerbarrier than the it for a lot of
sexy things is fear thatthey're going to do it bad and
you're not going to like it any.
(02:30):
Any assuagement of like I'mgoing to enjoy it it's fine if
we don't get it perfect thefirst time.
The reason I want to do withyou is because we'll can have
time to practice and get good atit.
Like assuaging any of thosefears are all good.
Then, depending on everybody'sgenital configuration, if you
have to go get equipment, it'sfun to do that together.
(02:52):
Or go shopping together.
That helps make it feelpersonal to everybody for like
step two of the plan.
So you know, if I want to getpegged, like going online and
picking the right colors andbeing all of the different sizes
and having fun with that makesit all good.
Make it a thing to open it upand put it on, like see how it
fits.
Doing all that, like making allthat a fun, enjoyable, easy
(03:14):
experience, is nice.
And then for the actual doingof it, I strongly suggest that,
like, if your partner is nervousabout it, especially if it's
like I think I'm going to do abad job make the first one
educational, like it can be asterile, nobody's trying to,
nobody's trying to come, we'rejust like figuring out the
geometry.
So we're going to put it on andwe're going to get this out and
(03:36):
we're going to be able to askquestions and laugh and all of
that.
And then practically just toomuch lube, more lube than you
think.
All the lube in the world lube.
So then get more lube and thenlube again.
And then like, get a towel andput lube on that.
Just the lube towel.
Yeah, get the lube of the towel, put that inside you, whatever
you need.
Your butthole does notlubricate the same way that
(03:59):
vaginas and a mouse can.
They do not create their ownlubrication.
So you can hurt yourself.
Easy tears in the buttholehappen, but I wouldn't know
anything about that as people inthis podcast are aware, I've
got no short-term fissure.
Casey's the, the queen of moreexperience the queen of a
(04:20):
fissure that lasted two yearsyeah, and generally that is
trying to go too fast, trying togo too hard, without enough
lube yeah, everybody, I went toofast and too hard, without
enough, just shitting at highspeed just life came at me hard,
(04:40):
fast and no balloon.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
So, tosin, I think that's incredible advice,
especially from the catchingside of the equation, as it were
, the receiving.
I'd like to come at this from adifferent angle as well,
because I have a suspicion thata lot of the people that are
(05:07):
interested in anal are likelypenis havers that are wanting to
approach a partner aboutreceiving anal sex, and I think
that has a different set ofchallenges with it, because that
(05:29):
can sound like a scarierproposition to the other person.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
It's not your butthole at risk.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Yeah, it's not your ass.
On the line One I'm going tostart with, there is an
excellent book called AnalPleasure and Health a guide for
men, women and couples, by JackMorin, phd.
It is worth the read.
It will cover all of thetechnical components, as it were
(06:02):
, and the biggest thing, thebiggest piece of advice to know
up front before approaching them, is that it doesn't need to be,
nor should it be, painful, andanything approaching pain is a
bad thing.
(06:22):
It is a hey stop.
Now the problem there is andI'm going to make some
generalities as a heterosexualmale that has approached women
about anal sex in the past whichis it is highly likely that
whoever you're about to approachhas had anal sex before by some
(06:48):
dumbass that did not use allthe lube Are you talking about
my experience now.
I guess.
So yes, case in point.
Frankly, like every woman I'vetalked to about anal sex, some
of which kind of like in laterin life, have become curious
(07:08):
about it again, withoutexception, they've had a shitty
experience.
Some asshole has just thoughtthat the surprise approach was a
good idea, the little lubeapproach was a good idea, the no
warm up was a good idea.
So you've got that to get pastand that is something just to be
(07:31):
aware of, at no fault ofyourself being a kind,
compassionate penis haver thatwants to create this pleasurable
and new experience for you andyour partner.
They're going to be nervous,they're going to be hesitant.
So, with that as the preamble,my first suggestion hot take and
(07:55):
this kind of goes a bit to someof what I was talking about on
our last episode is I wouldstart by not talking about it.
My first thing would not be tohave a conversation.
This is not a surprise themeither.
There are ways to gradually,subtly, being attuned to
feedback, show your partner that, more than just the front part,
(08:17):
you can experience pleasure inways that are not crossing a
line.
So that's everything from whenyou're going down on them.
Go past, if it's a woman, thebottom of the labia and move
your tongue along the taint alittle bit, starting at the top,
(08:38):
see if they respond.
If they're enjoying it, then dothat for a little bit, then go
back.
Same thing with fingers, likeputting a little pressure on
that taint area, is anotherthing that can show that it can
be pleasurable.
And then you can have like abit of a conversation of like
(09:02):
hey, you seem to really enjoythat, or what do you think of
that?
I would say that it is based offof positive feedback from your
partner.
It is safe to go up to theperimeter of the butthole with
touching, with some type ofsimulation, without conversation
(09:27):
, provided there is positivefeedback.
And that can be a way of justshowing them that hey, like this
can feel good and that you arenot going to ram anything in
there.
And then, yes, like well, weshould.
I'd like us to talk aboutconversations, ways to bring it
up, but that would be mysuggestion of just laying the
(09:50):
foundation of showing yourpartner that it can be
pleasurable, without spookingthem and being fully aware of
the fact that they've had ashitty experience Pardon the pun
there before.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Got a lot of good ass puns in there.
Shitty experience pardon thepun there before dropped a lot
of good ass buttons in there.
Yeah, and, and I would also sayI'd also add, like perimeter
check, if you will, maybe not asconfidently with strangers.
You know, I I've, I've gonedown on somebody for a first one
night stand and like they'rejust heavily arching their hips
to put their butthole up there,like yeah, I can tell that
(10:24):
that's what they're going for.
But I would say, you know, ifyou haven't built a relationship
with this person and you don'thave like any gauge of the signs
and things like that, maybe,just maybe, just ask for it.
Don't do, don't, don't, don'thit a perimeter check.
It's hard, yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
I, yeah, I agree with that.
I think that just when someoneis new, it somehow can be easier
to just kind ofmatter-of-factly approach some
of that stuff.
The challenge is, when you'vebeen in a long-term relationship
with someone, or you've evenbeen in, like many, a sexual
(11:03):
interaction and it's somethingyou're interested in exploring,
then it can be a bit more of amaze to navigate, if you will.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah, delicate, diplomatic and subtle is is
viable, especially in, likelong-term relationships, cause
it's also very easy, like I like, I like what you're saying is
like just bringing it up cold.
If they have a bad experienceabout it, they're just
immediately going to responddefensively, like if they don't
have any positive correlation toit at all.
(11:34):
But you know, I was like, hey,I noticed you like those tank
licks that 10 or 12 times we'vedone it.
I'm just saying I can go thedistance.
I watched Hercules.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Preach Casey, what's on your mind?
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Two things.
One I just want to put outthere very important PSA, in
case you do not know ifsomething goes into a butthole
it will do not.
Do not then put it back intothe vagina.
You hear me?
Don't do it.
(12:11):
Don't go even in around thevagina.
Are you fucking kidding meright now?
I just wanted to clarify thatbecause you were like go back.
I think if you're on theoutside being very delicate,
you're like go in and then maybego back to the vagina.
Just don't like, unless youwant to give your partner or
your stranger or whatever, aroaring, terrible yeast
infection.
Don't want something goes intothe butthole.
(12:33):
It is no longer for the vaginahole.
You have made a commitment tothe other hole with that object
or body.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
You are parked in the caboose part of the train for
the rest of the ride.
Yep, yep, buy a new.
You gotta buy a new ticketbefore that also.
Also, uh, don't lick a butthole.
Go to your bathroom mouthwashand return to a vagina.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Antiseptic mouthwash is just not great for the biome
homie yeah, in case anybody'tknow, the vagina is a delicate
ecosystem.
Like you can give a girl ayeast infection because you
don't wash yourself enough orbrush your teeth enough.
Like, if you really likevaginas, go ahead and be very
hygienic, because I guaranteeyou are fucking somebody's shit
(13:23):
up and sometimes people justdon't go together very well.
Um, biome, biome Lee speaking,and like, no matter what you do,
you just if it fucks a vaginaand not a great way.
Anyway, I, you know, I havelike I'm thinking of all the
times somebody has interactedwith my anus.
Um, people I've been inlong-term relationships with,
(13:46):
never casual like their.
Their response was hey, Ireally want to try butt sex.
You want to try butt sex?
There was nothing wrong withthat.
To me, that request, and then itwas with somebody once who I
guess had a little moreexperience with anal and like we
never really talked about itand I think I talked about this
on a podcast recently.
I I'm not sure.
So sorry for repeating myself,but he, like we were making out
(14:08):
and he just ended up kind ofrubbing my back door a little
bit.
He didn't go inside and sincenobody had ever really touched
it before, it was really rousingand I was like, oh my God,
that's amazing.
And then it was like you know,you do a drug the first time and
it like changes your world.
And then you chase that highbecause it's never the same.
I guess never as good, becauseyou've already experienced it.
(14:28):
It was the same, it's the same.
Nobody's ever touched mybutthole again and it's been as
mind blowing as it was thatfirst time.
But like, so he did it that way.
He just like we're making outand kind of like went with a
finger casually there.
And then I had anothergentleman who we were making out
and stuff and he kind of wentback there, like the other guy
(14:49):
did, but then looked at me andsaid is it okay if I touch you
there?
And I am on board with all ofthese methods.
I don't necessarily think youhave have to like casually drop
hints.
I mean it might, it might be agood idea.
I'm not saying it's not, butlike I've never had a bad
experience with somebody.
But I am like an open personwho is okay with receiving weird
(15:14):
requests and not that.
But sex is weird, but like it'snot, I'm not the person to be
embarrassed in front of, I do.
I do.
Just think that if you areinterested in, if you are, if
you have a penis and you'reinterested in sticking that
penis in a butthole, that youread a goddamn book like don't
(15:35):
just be curious and then put itin a butthole because you will
be doing it poorly, you will bebad at butt sex.
Okay, that's my experience withboth the people who are like
hey, I want to, I want to stickin here, can we try it?
I want to stick in here, like Imean and maybe it's the phrase
was you want to try it andthey'd never really done it
(15:57):
before.
Right, and now, if somebodysays that to me, my response is
going to be like do you haveexperience with this?
What pieces of things have youread?
Because in my experience, thetwo times it happened there was
no lube, no warmup, no anything.
It was just like straight in ashard penis straight in.
And I didn't know eitherbecause I hadn't read a book and
(16:18):
I just assumed people werebetter than that.
But no, no, they are not.
So everybody should read a bookabout butt sex if you want to
give it or receive it before youeven contemplate that with a
partner.
It's not the same.
It's not the same as juststicking in a vagina.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
It's not the same yeah, I, I also I take.
If you have a penis and youwant to put that penis in a
butthole, you should putsomething in your butthole
preach, because not even like itdoesn't have to be a whole
experience, but like if you'venever inserted something into
(16:55):
your butthole.
You the dip, the, the knowledgedistance between never having
putting something in yourbutthole and putting a finger,
toothbrush, small, whatever youwant in your butthole.
The knowledge difference isvast.
Like you, like youautomatically learn the lube
(17:16):
part.
You automatically learn that,like you need to take your time,
that that sphincter has torelax in a certain way, that,
like it, it's not as forgivingto friction and as one would
think, right.
And you also have the conceptof like, oh, this should not be
(17:37):
any more uncomfortable thanshits I've taken.
Sorry, put that way, but as faras like what it feels like to
have things in there, you have areference for what comfortable
expansion of your rectum is.
This is the weirdest sentenceI've ever said.
So the idea that anal needs tohurt doesn't make sense if you
(17:59):
shit comfortably.
Um.
So, like all of the like Istrong, I just I'm not saying
it's impossible, but it feels Igive, I'm giving you the side
eye If you're like no, no, no,no, no, no, no, no, don't put
anything in my butt.
No, I don't want to do it.
Don't get anything in there.
It freaks me out.
(18:19):
I don't want to do it but youreally want to put.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Alright, I'm going to actually defend the other side
of that.
As someone that enjoys havingstuff in my butt, it would be
very valuable and useful and,yes, if that is something you
are comfortable with, do Like.
It will give you plenty ofinformation.
Like, trim your nails beforeyou try to stick a finger in
there.
Now, on the other hand, as weall deal with in our own
(18:58):
different ways societal stigmas,another mountain to climb for a
penis haver is breaking thatassociation that, oh, I enjoy
some level of anal play.
You know I must be gay and soif you've got that association
(19:22):
and you're dealing with thatbullshit like one, that just
isn't the case.
But I am going to put out therethat I'm not going to side-eye
(19:46):
a dude that would like toexperience giving anal sex but
isn't in a mental place to becomfortable with personal anal
play.
It's shitty that that there isthat association and that's
something that men need.
You know hetero men need todeal with.
I'm not buying it Like dude.
If you want to stick your dickin some girl's butt and you
don't want something stuck inyour butt like hey, it's
(20:09):
legitimate if she says no andthat's fine, and if she's not
interested in it.
But you don't need to stickanything in in your butt.
Approach that it'd make youmore empathetic but, you don't
agree to disagree.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
We have to agree to disagree.
I think I don't, I don't thinkyou should think of it as like
it's just like an important,like thing, that sensory
experience to have if you wantto do it to somebody else, just
to know what it is like yeah,and and to be clear, like I you
(20:45):
know I I grew up in the church,I liked dicks and for a good
long time I also have like thebutt block, just from the jesus
of it all the jesus of it alland so, like I, I sympathize
with just like no criticalthinking past things in my butt.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Like I, I, I, I sympathize with that.
I can see having that andwanting to put some, wanting to
do butt stuff with other peoplebecause you've worked, worked it
in your worldview that this isthe okay version of that and the
other version is just heinous.
Um, I'm more talking about.
(21:30):
Um, I'm more talking about likethat guy is going to be, like,
oh yeah, you know, I just, Ididn't, that's not something
that like I do, I don't, I don'tknow, like I've never
approached it, I've never wantedto, I've never wanted to do it.
I think it's wrong to do for mento have stuff in their butt
Like that's one guy and stillside eye, but that is more fine
(21:53):
than the like, no, no, no, no,no, I'm not gonna.
No, you, nothing goes in mybutt.
Nah, man, that's, that's, I'mnot gonna.
If you're that guy, I don'tknow about you putting stuff in
people's butt.
I don't know, because it alsodoesn't make sense like if that,
if you're that way about yourown butt, what makes you
interested in butts?
Because I've also met the groupof people that are just like.
(22:17):
I also met the group of peoplethat was like nah man, that's
dirty when they're talking aboutdoing it to themselves and are
fine with butt stuff with otherpeople.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
And I'm like Now, that doesn't make any sense to
me Exactly.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Exactly and yeah, like that doesn't make any sense
to me Exactly, exactly, andyeah, yeah, I don't know, I mean
just just educationally, likeyou're, just if you care about
giving making it a goodexperience for your partner,
you're going and you have apenis, you're.
I have not met a single personthat has never put something in
their butt.
That is better at anal sex thansomeone that has put something
(22:54):
in their butt has never seen it.
I've never heard of it.
All the stories of people thatare like we have great anal sex
are also people who haveattempted or are comfortable
with like exploring it somewhatthemselves, or at least have
tried it a couple of times, andor porn stars, or they're the
only two people that have everhad sex with each other, are the
(23:16):
only situations I've heard ofthat I doubt you could find a
porn star, male or female, thatnothing's ever been up their
butt though I think manuelferreira is is butt free and he
does a lot of anal sex scenes I
Speaker 3 (23:30):
could be wrong.
I've seen him.
I saw one.
We said this wasn't going to bethe porn episode, but I saw one
where I believe it was lenapaul who put a finger up there
oh, all right, all right I'llhave to consult the archives on
that one.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
But I look, I, I look , I go through Manuel Ferreira
encyclopedia.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
So kind of pulling back around and, you know, going
back to putting something youknow, kind of experimenting on
yourself to know the first thingthat you're going to learn, or
the thing to be the most awareof, is that it is a muscle.
(24:16):
The sphincter is a muscle,which means that it's and if
you've never had anything upthere, it's going to be a tight
ass, which means you talk toyour partner, they're open to it
, they're interested in it.
(24:37):
Start by massaging and rubbingthe outside for a long time,
giving them time to relax, andthen you're going to put a
little pressure on it and thatthing's gonna pucker right back
up and go back to massaging itand being in.
(25:00):
Just like there are so manynerve endings back there, you go
down on them.
While they're doing that,they're gonna you're probably
gonna have to do this severaltimes because of just they're
going to run out of orgasms.
Start with a finger and onceyou get trimmed fingernails,
(25:20):
once you get a finger in therethat doesn't do not finger bang
the asshole.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Don't do it.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Leave.
You know, start by just leavingit in there, like as soon as
you have penetrated, it's goingto tighten up again.
Give it time to relax and thenslowly move in and out.
Twisting actions are going tohurt, are going to be less
comfortable than a slow in andout motion.
(25:53):
Do that and that is going to bethe end of your first anal
penetration with your partner.
And you're going to do thatagain another time, maybe even a
third time or a fourth, maybeeven a third time or a fourth.
(26:17):
Um, if you then want to try toupgrade, to upgrade, if you want
to then try moving topenetrating with your penis, be
careful.
I will say that in myexperience, a penis typically
like the difference betweentrying to do two fingers and a
penis is neck and neck forcomfort wise, if it is painful
(26:43):
and you don't know an in-betweenthere, there are things you can
get them on Amazon called analdilators.
You can get them on Amazoncalled anal dilators.
They're essentially butt plugsthat look like ring sizers.
They go up in very small sizesand pretty much anyone can
(27:05):
stretch their ass to take apenis-sized thing.
And if you're having troublewith without accessories, anal
dilators 30 minutes a day insideof a week, maybe two, no
problem, properly stretched yogayou mean, just wear it around.
(27:36):
So the instructions that I'veseen as I've never purchased one
or used one or had a partneruse them is they don't.
So typically when you get abutt plug or something that's
wearable, you want to make surethat the base is flared out,
substantially larger than thewidest point going in, and
that's what makes it wearable.
Well, that's not really whatyou want in an anal dilator is
(28:00):
that curved shape and then atighter base that then flares
back out.
That works well for wearing,but that means that you're going
to have to go through somethingeven wider than what you're
comfortable with to get tosomething that is just kind of
like the buttholes restingaround.
(28:21):
So the anal dilators that I'veseen, they're more of something
to like put in and then hang outin place for a half an hour,
read a book, watch a TV episodeor something, and then pop out
and go about your day.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
Toastin.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
I'm just laughing, do I have?
Speaker 3 (28:44):
my bases covered there.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
No, no, yeah, you nailed it.
I know a couple of people withvaginismus use vaginal dilators
and it's like a like thestretching exercise is one of
the one of like put the dilatorin for a segment of time, take
it out for a resting period, putit in for a time, take it out,
do that a few times and then youjust like increase the length
(29:08):
of time that you can likesustain it being in there, um,
and then you go up in thedilator size once you hit I
think it's 30 minutes, but I'mnot sure.
But it's like your first onecan be like in for a minute, out
for a minute, in for a minute,out for a minute and then stop,
and then it can be once you getup to like you can have it in
there comfortably for a certainamount of time.
Then you're, then you can startthat process over with
something that's a size up untilyou get to the size of the
(29:32):
penis you want in there nowlet's talk about some realities.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
you're you're working up, your partner's ready to go?
If you knock on poop store,don't be surprised if poop comes
out.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Poop's going to happen Like just everybody
poop's going to happen.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
Just part of the game .
Now, if it's something that youwant to minimize, like so the
thing is, is that your partnercan do an enema and that
typically will pretty well cleanthings out.
Fleet enemas are great.
You can get them at cvsdisposables.
(30:22):
The thing to be cognizant ofthere is that your partner is
quite probably already steppinga bit outside of their comfort
zone and if they bring upconcerns about knocking on poop
(30:46):
store and poop being there,that's the solution.
I wouldn't be like, oh hey, andcan you use this thing before
we get started?
If you think that it's going tobe dirty or you have some
concerns about the poop, condomsand if it's a partner you don't
know, definitely condoms.
(31:07):
But if it's a partner that youknow and all that's set up,
condoms are nice for just you.
Can you kind of throw them offafterwards and it's not, as
there's not as much dirt,there's not as much poop
involved or direct contact let'spoop the skin contact yeah in
(31:31):
the same.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Yeah, yeah, and just physiologically.
Let's just break down somemyths.
You do not store poop in yourrectum.
Poop's only in your rectumwhile it's moving from your
lower, lower intestine intowherever it's going.
So, unless you're constipatedor you have some type of issue,
(31:54):
you have cinctures on both sidesof your rectum, where the
butthole is and the poop comesout and to block and the
different and where it is whenit's being created in your
intestine.
So there's not just poop in therectum.
If you encounter, if you'vetaken a shit and it's like of
normal consistency for you, thenyou are going to have limited
(32:18):
poop residue in your rectum.
It does a good job of makingsure that, like not a lot of
poop is left there.
Usually, what happens if youencounter poop and somebody is
like already taking one which issaying poop a lot today is just
from like somebody has likealready taken one which is
saying poop a lot today is justfrom like depth and pressure and
pushing up against to thetowards the end of it, and then
you can.
You'll usually get some on thetip.
(32:39):
If it's like that, that canjust happen, just from like
leftover stuff in there.
But it's generally fine, likeI've never, ever done an enema
and I have had hundreds ofthings in my butt and I would
say I can see poop on thingslike 40% of the time and it's
(33:06):
not a lot.
And also if you have a penis,and also if you have a penis the
only like, if you don't haveany cuts or anything, you're not
going to get infected from poopbeing on your penis unless it
gets into your urethra.
And if you're following thenormal sex rule of pee after sex
(33:30):
, like you're going to clean,you'll clean it out.
So it's pretty difficult to getany type of fecal infection
from penis to poop contact innormal situations.
So it's not that big a deal.
Also, as a parent who changesdiapers everybody just calm down
, it's not that big a deal, it'sjust poop.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Everybody poops.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
As someone with a partner who we enema all the
time.
You're right, it isn't a bigdeal.
We enjoy just.
We like that clean feeling andI would say fecal matter 1% of
the time, 2% of the time it doeslower it down a whole lot, but
(34:13):
tough lesson learned.
So, and this goes back toyou're like hmm, I'm interested
in enemas, maybe I should tryone.
Well, if you take my initialattitude, which is oh hey, if
like a little bit of salinesolution or the prescribed
amount is good, then doing anextra large amount will make you
(34:36):
super clean.
No, no, because that amountgoes past that initial area into
this next part of you, and whatthat means is that you're just
going to be a little diarrhea-yfor hours and hours on end.
So, normal size enema do therecommended amount.
(35:02):
More is not better there.
More is diarrhea.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Yeah, I can speak to enemas.
I have one in my shower.
Don't worry people, I don'tpoop in my shower.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Somebody saw that and they were like do you?
Speaker 2 (35:13):
shit in your shower.
I was like, yeah, I shit in myshower.
Don't worry people, I don'tpoop in my shower.
Somebody saw that and they werelike do you shit in your shower
?
I was like, yeah, my shit in myshower.
Thank you so much, I just usewater.
I don't even use saline, I usewater and I put it in real slow
and I'm you know when you'redone?
You know when you're done, yeah, uh-huh you know when you're
(35:35):
done.
I evidently have no gauge, whichis why I like the little fleets
, because I know when thebottle's empty if you can empty
a bottle in there and you don'thave a sensation of, oh, it's
time to stop, that means youcould probably take more you
know that would make sense, butwithout it going into the place
(35:55):
where you get diarrhea all thetime now.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
So I understand as a non-anima half dunner.
The process is filling yourbutthole with water yeah and
then shitting it out shitting itout
Speaker 2 (36:15):
yeah it.
It forces a bowel movement.
If anything's in there, ithelps to come out.
So if you're chronicallyconstipated, like me, or you
have a chronic spherine chronicfissure, like I did for two
years, it like solves thoseproblems for you, because it may
it.
Basically, I think in mostpeople.
Um, if you're constipated, itsoftens the consistency of the
(36:37):
fecal matter in your body whichhelps it come out easier.
If it doesn't do that, um, itjust cut like it takes
everything and forces it outfaster.
And if you have a fissure, thatis desire.
It sounds like it would beaggressive and not desirable,
but it is better.
It is desire promise enema ifyou have a fissure, every time
until it's healed.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
Now did you put the water in and then like, so lay
on my back and like the fetalposition, or with my knees up,
for three minutes and then?
Speaker 2 (37:07):
No, I mean there was a long period of time.
You just really like spray it onout, Like I didn't go to the
bathroom without an enema.
I stand up in my shower.
I had a bag for a while and Iwould.
In fact, when you have a bagyou have to lay on the floor
because you have to be below thebag.
So I would like get a towel outand, like, lay on it, put the
thing on my butt and then thegravity would empty the bag and
(37:29):
even then I was like the bagthought I needed to have more in
my body than I did and I neverreally took the full amount and
I wouldn't lay there.
I'd get up and go to thebathroom in the shower when I
don't even lay down, Cause Idon't, I don't have to.
I'd like stand in the shower, Imake sure the water's warm, I
put it up my butt, I turn itonto the appropriate pressure
and I wait until I feel like I'mgoing to shit myself if I put
(37:54):
more water in, Like until thestrength of my pucker will be
outdone by the water pressureinside my anus and then I remove
it and luckily my toilet isright next to my shower.
So I just boop, I step over andI and I you know, I I evacuate.
Speaker 3 (38:10):
All right, we spent a lot of time on enemas, but
there's one thing I've got tobring up while we're on the
topic Bucket list item for mehave y'all ever heard of coffee
enemas?
Yeah, I did one, I've done them.
Ooh, I mean.
So I don't know if thisqualifies under the talk dirty
to me, but talk coffee to me fora second.
What was that like?
Speaker 2 (38:30):
for a second.
What was that like?
It was fine.
It wasn't any different than itwas.
I'm sure there's great effects.
It's not like I had moreevacuation with coffee than I
did.
I mean, if there are healthbenefits to it, I didn't notice.
I do have a bag of coffee in myfreezer that's specifically for
(38:51):
enemas.
I think there's a special kindof coffee you need to use, so
just don't get your breakfastbeans to get up your butt.
Yeah, but I did.
That was a time where I did layon the floor and it's like let
it percolate for however manyminutes or whatever.
I remember I did this protocolwhen I first got my enema bag
because of my fissure, and itwas like first you're going to
do regular water, then you'regoing to do salt water.
(39:14):
Then they had like this specialherbal soap she was, and they
were like put the soap in thebag, let it like dissolve a
little bit, and I basically likewashed the inside of my butt
out with soap water and thenthey were like now do the coffee
one.
And I could not get throughthat whole.
It was just so much water on mybutt.
Eventually I was like no, thankyou.
Like it's not just so muchwater up my butt.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Eventually, I was like.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
No, thank you, it's not the best.
If you don't mind enemas, doinga coffee enema is probably
great, but you weren't wellcaffeinated afterwards.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Yeah, it was like the delivery system of caffeine.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
I think that's why they're special beans.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Is it caffeine?
That's bullshit.
Never mind, I'm out think.
That's why they're specialbeans.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
That's bullshit.
There's like extra coffee cupsbecause of the intake mechanism
okay, it is optimal health.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
Network ground coffee , coffee especially for enemas,
fair trade, organic shade grown.
Does it have caffeine in it?
this is what it looks like incase we have this video to one
quart of distilled water atthree tablespoons finely ground
organic coffee.
Boil brisk for three minutesand then simmer for 12.
Filter out the grounds using afine strainer or pour strainer
(40:29):
lined with cheesecloth.
Cheesecloth or non-dyed t-shirt.
This will result in somethingless than a quarter liquid.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
It doesn't really say caffeinecontent.
I'm sure if you google it theinternet will be like don't use
caffeine.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
I mean maybe well, I mean I can't imagine that the
meme of it has to be about likeboofing coffee yeah, I mean,
that's what my desired outcome'sbeen what I wanted to try.
Speaker 3 (41:02):
I just want to be as hyper as fuck it didn't make the
paper as fuck I'm gonna take ahard left turn because I don't
know how we get from coffeepooping to uh, back to anal sex.
But, toson, two-part questionfor you.
First one is would you consideryourself more of a verse or a
(41:24):
bottom?
Speaker 1 (41:27):
I am a service switch through and through.
Okay, I'm going to be inclined,yeah, I'm going to be inclined
to what is going to be mostpleasurable to whoever I'm with.
Like, I currently don't have alot of butt sex because I'm not
around a lot of people who likehaving a lot of butt sex and as
(41:47):
far as my like completely,completely self-gratifying
sexual needs, they're fairlysimple.
Speaker 3 (41:55):
So, as I understand it, you are rather well endowed.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
I don't have any complaints.
Speaker 3 (42:03):
From context clues, you say no complaints, but I
guess where this is going isthat, do you find?
Speaker 1 (42:10):
it-.
How do you handle the thickerdick situations?
Speaker 3 (42:12):
Yeah, do you find it that you've got to find, like,
partners that are Stretchier?
Just from kind of clues, itfeels like people would really
need to work up to you.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Yeah, so like I get a .
I am approached often amongstlike gay men who are like I want
you to top me If they mentionanything about like I want to
try bottoming for the first time.
I am like I'm not a beginner,course I I would.
I mean we can give it a goodcollege try if I'm feeling like
(42:45):
it and like you've excited me bythe amount that you want it.
Um, but like early on, when Iwas like doing it more often,
yeah, it often was just likewe're not having sex.
I'm just kind of like pushingmy dick against your butthole,
which feels fine and all and,and I've been on the and I've
done the same thing.
(43:06):
Like I've been trying thebottom for people who are just
gargantuan and I'm like, well,we're just we're just rubbing
your dickhead against mybutthole, which feels great, but
it's not, it's not happeninglike this is, it's not gonna
happen.
It's earlier on, I can, I cantake most things now, but yeah,
(43:30):
no, I the and and to your point,it's like it does, it can work.
Um, I definitely have hadexperiences with people who
don't have a lot of bottomingexperience.
If you take enough time to likerelax and especially if you're
like depending on the way thatyour dick is shaped, because I
don't have a significantlylarger head than the rest of my
(43:51):
penis.
So like the taper kind of worksfor easing in Um, and so the if
you take your time and you'relike, you're fine with
hotdogging for a while and likelicking buttholes and and
opening up the areas and usingusing lots and lots of lube.
Um, there is also a cheat codein the gay community.
(44:15):
Are y'all familiar with poppers?
so I've not tried them, but I'veyeah, yeah, poppers will
significantly increase the speedwith which your butthole relax,
fairly instantaneous.
Uh, it's why it's popular inthe gay community, because it's
like you take a hit of poppers,you are.
(44:36):
You pretty much relax a lot ofyour muscles in your body and it
becomes easier for insertion.
And once you, once you, onceyou get the first full strokes
in, then everything kind ofstarts to compensate if you're
lubricated well enough.
Speaker 3 (44:57):
So while I haven't experienced poppers on either
end, muscle relaxers also work.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
They also work Given the name inherent in the name.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
Yeah, it was like one day this, so I've got a bad
back, and one day this lightbulb went off and I was like,
wait, a second.
Muscle relaxers this is amuscle and yeah, they work, but
I mean, you're just gonna wantto take a nap afterwards yeah,
yeah or during, depending on howit's going um, we're um nearing
the end of our hour.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
Is there any other like important tips or factoids
that anybody or questions thatwe want to make sure to get in
here?
Speaker 1 (45:43):
uh, I think, I think important in, since we're casing
this and like having aconversation with your partner
is like there are going to bepeople who have this
conversation and your partner isgoing to be like no, always, no
, never, yes, that's fine.
(46:03):
Like, please, like there is noversion of advice that we can
give you to convince someone whodoes not want to have anal sex.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
Yes and let it be a no, and that's fine yeah, we're.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
we're specifically talking about there.
There seems to be amenable andlike curiosity about having that
experience.
If your partner is, no, I don'twant to do it.
That's the end of the game.
And if it's really important toyou for your sex life, like you
(46:39):
can have discussions aboutseeking other people to do that
with, but, like, as far as thatpartner there is, no, there's
nothing past.
No, I don't want to do it,that's the end of the
conversation.
Mm-hmm, the that's the end ofthe conversation.
Speaker 3 (46:56):
I'm going to just circle back around and put in
another plug for this book Plug.
I'm really working all of that.
You hit it all Like.
You got the.
You hit the, I got bingo onbutt plug puns from you.
But Anal Pleasure and Health AGuide for Men, women, women and
couples by Jack Morin PhD.
(47:16):
Yeah, I've read it.
It's excellent.
It covers all the bases.
If it's something you'reinterested in engaging with a
partner and it is not somethingyou're experienced with, start
there.
Speaker 2 (47:33):
Go ahead with start there um go ahead.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
yeah, also, if you've never done butt stuff and
you're trying to gauge in yourhead whether you enjoy butt
stuff, if you can answer thequestion of like, tell me about
a time where shit felt reallygood.
If, if you have a story likethat, you're going to like butt
(47:56):
stuff Because that's the unlessthe story is like something
whimsical or magical happened.
But if, like, I enjoy thesensation of this shit, it was a
good one.
I thought about it later You'regoing to like butt stuff.
Speaker 3 (48:11):
That's hilarious, he's not wrong.
He is not wrong.
It's making gonna like buttstuff.
That's hilarious, he's notwrong.
Speaker 2 (48:14):
He is not wrong that's making me reconsider,
butt stuff well, you're adifferent case.
Speaker 1 (48:19):
You have a long history of incredibly painful
shit incredibly painful thingshappening in my butt.
Speaker 2 (48:25):
I'm gonna circle back because I was distracted,
because my work slacked me at 9,30 at night, when you're in the
middle of this topic.
But oh, I'm circling back tothe middle when we're talking
about if you want to do tosomebody, try it yourself.
And, as a woman from a veryyoung age, we're told, like, get
a mirror down there and look atit, and like, put a finger
inside, like, get to knowyourself.
(48:46):
And I think the same thing canbe applied to a butt.
Even if you don't want toreceive anal sex, you should be,
like, familiar with your backdoor enough to know if, like if,
something's wrong with it,right, like.
I think everybody should be ina place where they're
comfortable enough to sticktheir finger up their butt in a
totally non-sexual way.
(49:07):
And also, because I did havesuch a bad fissure, I did have
to go to the proctologist.
And first of all, I'd like toacknowledge how hard of a thing
it is to do to make anappointment and go to the
proctologist.
There's something very it'slike.
I think everybody feels a lotof shame around it, and it's
like it's just hard.
I will give you this hot tip,though and this is true of
(49:28):
Austin, texas, I don't know ifit's true of anywhere else it is
like a four month wait to getan appointment at a
proctologist's office.
So if you need one, don't wait.
Go make it right now.
Make one preemptively, just incase you need one in four months
, because when you want oneyou're going to need it real bad
and you're going to have towait.
(49:49):
Secondly, when I went to thatappointment, I was shocked at
the number of people in thewaiting room and how none of
them were men.
It was like a waiting roomfilled with women and I was like
I thought partologist officeswere like for dudes I don't know
why I thought that and gettingthings put in their butthole and
(50:15):
it keeps them from going to thedoctor when it's necessary,
which then causes a lot oftragedy, because a lot of stuff
that happens back there with mengoes untreated.
So if I could impart anythingonto our listeners, it would be
like you may have a lot of shamearound your butthole if you're
a guy and the idea of stickingsomething in it makes you really
(50:37):
uncomfortable and rejected andlike feel a lot of shame or
defensiveness or feeldehumanized or vulnerable or
whatever.
But it would behoove everybodyto get themselves to a place
where they can not categorizetheir butthole in that capacity
and allow it to be as sacred asan okay and neutral and fine as
(51:00):
the rest of your body.
You can stick your finger inyour nose, you can stick your
finger in your butthole, butlike, not in that order, I'm
just saying like make it asnormal as all the other holes in
your body.
It's totally fine, and if youare unwell down there, go to the
doctor.
There will be many.
It's a great place to pick upwomen partologist office.
Speaker 1 (51:26):
that's the new tender y'all.
Yeah, and a joke that I havemade before in just trying to
bring specifically like heteromen, like across the line is now
(51:46):
, of course there's going to beoutliers of like it's really
always going to be a badexperience of like it's really
always going to be a badexperience.
But I can say confidentlyyou're probably missing out on
something and my evidence is Ihave been on Grindr for years
and I've been on Grindr in manycities and several states and
(52:09):
what do you think the top tobottom ratio is on Grindr?
I don't know.
It is one to a hundred.
I am not exaggerating.
Yeah, it is one to a hundred.
And if an app that is set upfor casual sexual encounters,
this is collecting the horniestand neediest of people who want
(52:31):
sexual gratification, and thevast majority of them are
bottoms.
Something must be reallyawesome about having stuff in
your butt.
Just there's got to be a reason.
I do not know many people whohave walked from bottom to verse
(52:52):
to top exclusively.
I know tons of people who wentfrom top to verse to bottom
exclusively, Like as soon assomething got got in there, and
they were like, oh, I can justdo this, I'm going to do that.
Somebody fucked me please.
So you're, you're, you, you were.
You are missing out on a humanexperience that I strongly
(53:12):
recommend.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (53:14):
Amen to that.
Speaker 2 (53:15):
Amen to that.
So with that, labia andGenitals, thank you so much for
listening to another episode ofTalk to Regenemy.
Until next time, let's all try,maybe touching our butthole a
little bit, shall we?
Just a little bit, just the tip.
Speaker 1 (53:36):
With lots of lube All sobbing on our couch, because I
was just like admitting thispart of myself that I had not
told anyone about those firstexplorations are really the um,
the most intimate and the onesthat really kind of stay.
Speaker 2 (53:51):
That's something that that I still I am still.
Speaker 1 (53:54):
I've been in therapy still am struggling to like turn
off in my brain.
Speaker 2 (53:59):
We come out with these guards and it's hard to
then figure out how to put themdown.
Speaker 1 (54:04):
I want to feel more empowered in my body, because I
grew up not feeling that way.
Oh sin.
Speaker 2 (54:10):
Everybody's wiping away tears.
I am.
That was perfect.
I look forward to the day whenour society's progressed past
the point where it's just likethis kind of universally
accepted witch hunt againstanybody who even tries to ask
for help.
So happy that a podcast likethis exists, that you guys have
a forum where you can talk soopenly about things and, just
(54:35):
especially for me, like everyepisode is eye-opening on a
different perspective.
Speaker 3 (54:39):
This is the podcast I always wished existed, so I'm
excited to be a part of it.
Speaker 1 (54:43):
It really does seem like we're helping people.
Speaker 2 (54:45):
This podcast really is sexy.
Speaker 1 (54:47):
Glad we're back for a third season.
Well, I guess we should do ouroutro, casey, do the thingy, but
do it sexy.
Speaker 2 (54:54):
Talk Dirty to Me is a podcast by Little Renegade
Films.
It stars Casey Samuels.
Speaker 1 (54:59):
You heard what the man said.
Speaker 2 (55:00):
Do it sexy, okay, okay, I'll do it sexy God.
Speaker 1 (55:09):
Talk.
Speaker 2 (55:09):
Dirty to Me is a podcast by Little Renegade Films
.
It stars Casey Samie, tosinAwafeso and Scruggs.
For more of our offerings, goto littlerenegadefilmscom Mmm.
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