March 26, 2025 • 51 mins
In today’s dating world, women are redefining their personal timelines and taking control of their futures in powerful ways—and one of the most significant trends in this shift is egg freezing. This game-changing decision allows women to pause their biological clocks and approach relationships and family planning on their own terms. But what does it really mean for the dynamics of dating, relationships, and empowerment? Today, we’re diving into the evolving world of egg freezing with April Davis, a renowned relationship expert and luxury matchmaker, to explore how this choice is transforming modern love and the ways women are navigating their reproductive and emotional journeys.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Do the sex Think fun, honest and feminist as fuck,
and always with the goal offighting the patriarchy.
One female orgasm at a time.
Welcome to the locker room.
Today's locker Talk and Shotstopic is the new dating
(00:46):
landscape how egg freezing isredefining relationships and
empowering women in their datinglives.
In today's complex dating world, many women are taking control
of their reproductive futures bychoosing to freeze their eggs.
This decision not onlyalleviates the pressure of
biological clocks, but alsoreshapes how they approach
(01:07):
relationships, dating and familyplanning.
Joining us is April Davis, therenowned relationship expert and
celebrity matchmaker from LumaLuxury Matchmaking, to delve
into how this trend isinfluencing modern dating
dynamics and empowering women tomake choices on their own terms
(01:29):
.
Now, before we dive into this, Iwant to remind you that I now
have an OnlyFans, where you cango and get my intimacy how-tos
demonstrations and guidedself-pleasure meditations.
You can also go to Substack,where I am writing about all of
the different ways you can startimproving your intimate life
and experiencing more pleasurein your own body.
(01:50):
Tonight you can find me in bothplaces, at the handle at
TalkSucksWithAnette, and I, ofcourse, will be putting the
links below.
So go and check those out.
But let's get back to freezingeggs and dating.
April is here with me, and AprilDavis is the founder and CEO of
Luma Luxury Matchmaking.
Luma Luxury Matchmaking wasestablished in 2010 by April, so
(02:15):
it's been around.
She had been matchmaking foryears and wanted to take her
passion to the next level.
With an MBA, a background inprocess improvement I love that,
because that definitely is partof dating the process of it and
a ton of single friends, sherealized there was an
opportunity to improve theprocess of finding one's partner
indeed, so she combined herpassion and expertise to develop
(02:39):
a luxury matchmaking firm.
Now, with more than 1 millionsingles in her network and
rising I don't know why I'm notthere.
April is happy to say that herfirm has the largest database of
vetted singles.
So these are quality people.
April, will you take a momentto tell my listeners a little
(03:01):
bit more about you?
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, so I started the company in 2010, and the
first couple I ever set up waswhen I was 16 years old.
Actually and yes, I have abackground in process
improvement I just basicallyapplied it to the dating world.
After looking around and seeingI had so many amazing single
girlfriends and they just didn'thave a lot of great options.
I'm also married to a divorceattorney, so that gave me a
(03:26):
little bit of a differentperspective on the dating and
relationships and what works andwhat doesn't work.
So, yeah, I'm really more of avalues-focused type person or
matchmaker, and we work withpeople all over the country a
lot of busy professionals,executives and business owners,
(03:48):
people that are more specificbut also want their
confidentiality, and they're notlooking for just anybody.
They're looking for the rightperson that they can ultimately
spend the rest of their lifewith.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
So you really know, you have a good inside view of
dating trends and how people goabout finding their perfect
match.
I assume you're alwaysrefreshing this information as
it comes up.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
I always preach about this Don't make generalizations
or blanket statements, becausethe moment you do, or whenever I
think that I'm seeing a pattern, I'll meet somebody that just
blows that stereotype out of thewater.
So it's important to keep anopen mind.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yeah, I love that, okay.
So, guys, I want you to stay tothe end, because you're going
to find out a little bit moreabout what's going on in today's
dating world.
Obviously, there's a trendWomen are taking control of
their reproductive abilities orchoices in a specific way
freezing their eggs and so bythe end of this podcast, you are
(05:00):
going to have a differentperspective on dating, maybe a
different perspective on how toapproach it and find more
success, or, if you're a womanlistening, how to take more
control of your choices indating and who you date and how
that goes.
So stay to the end.
I am ready to find out allabout this and how this is
(05:20):
empowering women in the datingworld.
So let's talk about datingCheers.
I want to talk about what aredating trends or factors that
have led to women choosing thevery, not just we're not talking
about birth control here, likethat's one way you can take
control of your reproductivefuture, but to freeze your eggs.
(05:43):
What are the factors that fedinto this trend happening?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I think, first of all , it's education.
So that's going to take up asmore women are becoming more and
more educated.
It takes up a lot of time, andso, instead of getting married
and having kids early on, theyare investing in their education
and career.
Therefore.
So, for example, we get a lotof women who are doctors and
(06:14):
around the age 35, and they'vebeen dedicated to their school
and work and now they're like oh, I have to hurry up and find
that person before it's too late.
So I think that is a huge partof it, because we, our society,
in the United States, we are setup for the individual.
Everything's do-it-yourself,you don't need anyone, you don't
need to depend on anyone, youcan have a car, bring yourself
wherever you need, you can buyyour own place, whereas in other
(06:36):
countries it's morecommunity-focused.
And so I think that people justit's just a different kind of
mentality.
They're able to do everythingthemselves and when they want to
and whatever they want, and wedon't have that need for that
other person, like ourgrandparents did, in order to
(06:59):
live a healthy and successfullife.
We now can do everything on ourown.
So I think that's a big factorplaying into it, and I think the
other thing is just women are.
When you spend so much time anddedication to your career, it
becomes who you, it's your, it'swho you are.
(07:20):
You know your identity isattached to it and after working
so hard on that, not everybodywants to give that up in order
to have kids at that moment, andthis is a totally different
life.
A lot of people are waiting, sothey have maybe their
financials in the rightcondition, so then they can
(07:40):
still continue to work and maybehire a daddy or whatever their
lifestyle needs to be.
So they're not necessarilywanting to have a kid when
they're in their 20s, becauseit's really hard and it does
take a lot of energy at any age.
But it's easier when you havemore resources, money, ie money
(08:01):
to be able to dedicate towards achild.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Historically women have been dependent on finding a
man and having a man to survive, right for income.
We didn't have our own bankaccounts, we weren't able to get
the same jobs at all at onepoint but or the same level of
jobs and income that men were,so it wasn't like realistic for
us to think we could survive ormake it in a comfortable life on
(08:27):
our own.
And at this point now inhistory that power dynamic has
changed because women are notonly able to get jobs but
they're able to excel and makeenough money to support
themselves.
So that has changed the datingworld a lot, right?
Just the dynamics between menand women in the dating world.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Yeah, they can even have a kid without a man.
Yeah, and a lot of women chooseto right.
But what's more important tothem is having the right partner
than just any partner to be theparent of their child.
So they may choose to justforego having that partner and
(09:11):
finding that one later.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
That is something that I think has changed right.
I feel like historically, a lotof women were just they felt
like they had to find a partnerbecause that was survival right,
which meant you didn'tnecessarily get to say here are
my non-negotiables, everythinghad to be a little negotiable.
When you're in competition forwomen are in a position of
(09:42):
saying I don't have to negotiatesomething I really want because
I'm okay on my own Right rightand they don't need.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
You're right, they don't need someone.
I just recently watched Prideand Prejudice and I think it's
so funny how it lays outperfectly the dynamic and how
things have changed.
It lays out perfectly thedynamic and how things have
changed and thank god we're notback in that era where we
literally had to worry aboutstarving to death unless we
could find somebody that cantake care of us because women
(10:14):
couldn't work.
They are, they were limited onwhat teams jobs they could even
take if they were able to take ajob, and it's very different
nowadays.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Right.
And now being able to even beat the point where you can say I
can even freeze my eggs like Ican take.
Probably one of the biggestsort of final barriers to
independence or being in controlof your dating life is that
biological clock right.
And so now that barrier can bepushed back, that pressure can
(10:51):
be pushed back further becauseyou can take your eggs and
freeze them and then down theroad in your 40s I've even heard
, I've known, of people in theirlate 40s and even early 50s.
I am 50 and the idea of havinga baby right now I'm like but to
each their own right that youcan really push back that
(11:13):
biological clock, because thebiological clock really can be a
pressure point for women.
No, yeah, right thank youdidn't.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Yeah right, Didn't Cameron Diaz just have a baby
and she's 52, 52 years old yeah.
I think that's what I heard.
I don't know if it's true.
I heard people are mad at hertoo for doing it.
It's just so weird to me.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
That people would be mad is weird to you that people
would be mad, or weird that shewould do it To me.
It's weird that people.
Why would you be mad or weird?
Speaker 2 (11:44):
that she would do it.
To me it's weird that peoplewhy would you be mad?
Why would you care?
Yeah, and why would you be mad?
That is what I was thinkingthere, and it was actually last
year.
She had her second baby, so shewas probably like 51 years old
and people thought it was weird.
I don't know, people haveopinions for anything, but I
think it's pretty cool.
It's amazing that she can, thatshe can.
(12:05):
She's somebody that probablyshould be a mom, so she seems
like a nice person and she candefinitely afford it.
It's good for her and I thinkit's a good example for other
people.
You do have choices.
You don't have to feel likeyou're desperate and there are a
lot of options out there,especially when you have extra
resources and maybe you put yourjob in front of everything else
.
Yeah, but everything's everyoneis different.
(12:26):
Every thing is.
Everybody's body is different.
I'm not saying that it ispossible for everyone, but
there's definitely a lot moreoptions nowadays.
But also, I think fertilityrates are it's gone down.
It's harder to get pregnant.
I keep hearing more and morewomen have to go the IVF route,
even if they're younger, even ifthey're in their 30s and
(12:50):
they're otherwise healthy, butthey need some extra help with
their fertility.
I think, because so many peoplehave used birth control, that
it's caused issues with theirhormones down the road, so
that's something to think about.
If you're on birth controllong-term, it can wreak havoc on
your body in other ways, so itmakes it more challenging to get
(13:12):
pregnant down the road.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
That the whole topic of the responsibility of birth
control being on women and whatit does to our body is worth
noting.
On one hand, it does give usmore control in our dating life
and protection against thenbeing tied to man that we don't
want to be with, which sometimesyou find out a little too late.
(13:34):
I can tell you firsthand ittakes a while to not only vet
but find the right partner.
And if you get pregnant in thatdating vetting period partner
and if you get pregnant in thatdating vetting period that can
be it can affect your ability tofollow your career and become
completely independent.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
You hear about this legislators proposed a $10,000
fine for men ejaculating withoutintent to create a baby
conceive in Ohio.
I just like I haven't lookedinto that much Like wow, that's
interesting, but it has.
It's been something that'sbrought up like okay, they're
(14:11):
just the fact that they'rereally.
It is really on women to bearthis burden.
And then I have also heardabout they made this male birth
control and the men didn't wantit or they didn't like it
because it made them moody andhad all kinds of hormonal issues
.
Oh funny, I don't know anythingabout that.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
I love that you bring this up because I have been
reflecting.
I am in perimenopause and sofor years I've been on the IUD
without, without, with just theMirena, so just a little bit of
progesterone.
It doesn't affect my hormones,my moods, I don't feel it in my
body.
But then when I went intoperimenopause my doctor was like
(14:54):
we tried different things andshe tried putting me back on a
birth control pill and it mademe feel like I was going insane
and I thought to myself I was onthis when I was a young,
developing woman, in my lateteens and my twenties, when my
brain was still developing, mybody was still developing, I was
(15:17):
trying to figure out mysexuality and do all of these
things and I was like and then Ihave a daughter and I watched
her kind of go through it and Ithink it's crazy what we subject
women to and then when theycreate something viable for men,
it's if it's a littleuncomfortable, it's like nope,
scrap it Doesn't work.
(15:38):
What if?
For?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
example, for your IUD .
They don't even give you anypain blocker.
You're just supposed to, and ifthey replace that again kick
this thing out and putting inanother one, and you're supposed
to just be okay with it.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
And it hurts, I can tell you.
I can tell you that it hurts.
When they put my last one in, Icried, I was just cried.
I'm like it triggered everytrauma in my life and they were
like, oh, I'm sorry.
I'm like I know that there'spain meds for this.
They just don't want to do it.
They just I'm not.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
It's great yeah, it won't.
It costs money.
So imagine putting any kind ofdevice, inserting any kind of
device into any pretty your skinor anything.
That's what you're doing.
Of course it's painful.
When can you imagine like mendealing with something like that
?
Or of course not they like itbasically in their balls or
anything.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
They'd never let you insert something in their balls
or in their urethra.
I think we as women are justlike, want control over our
lives so much and autonomy andthe ability to and I would argue
it makes the world better foreveryone, because now we aren't
partnering based on this needthing and ending up mismatched
(16:46):
in long-term partnerships thatare so unhappy.
And there are so many of us.
Even at my age, I ended up inpartnerships I was still like
raised during that time where Ididn't feel like I had as much
choice, and so I ended up inpartnerships where I was just so
unhappy.
And now it's interesting beingsingle at this period of my life
(17:08):
where I'm like I can makechoices, I don't need anyone, I
am autonomous and I can choose,which gives me a lot of hope
because I can find a partnerthat we will make hopefully
someday.
Someday we will make each otherlike truly happy and have that
healthy relationship.
(17:29):
But now younger women haveaccess to this.
But here is my question.
So, first of all, this eggfreezing let's be honest, it's
only accessible to certainpeople with a certain amount of
money.
I assume it's very expensive.
But my question is how doesthat affect a woman's view of
(17:55):
dating and feelings and emotionsaround her choices in dating
and proceeding forward with it.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Naturally, they feel less pressure to hurry up and
find that person as soon aspossible because their A's are
on A's, they have time, butpressure is not there as much
anyway, and so therefore theycould be more just, choosier on
that type of person or they willinvolve another person even so.
(18:23):
It definitely gives them a lotof options.
Going through that wholeprocess it is super invasive and
all the problems and stuff theyhave to put in their body and
we're the same with IVF it'sjust, it is a lot on, not just
mentally but of coursephysically.
It's a lot on people and it canbe traumatic for people.
So, yeah, it's making thatchoice, but I think a lot on
(18:45):
people and can be traumatic forpeople.
So, yeah, it's making thatchoice.
But I think a lot of women justdon't feel like they have any
other choice.
They just they have to if theywant to have kids.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Or it buys them time with making the decision about
kids I don't know about I'mcurious on your end, on my end
and conversations I've had withespecially younger women.
They're like I don't know yetif I want kids and they start to
feel pressured to make thisdecision, I could see how it
would like buy them time in thatdecision making.
(19:15):
I don't feel like I want a babyright now, but maybe 40.
I'll wake up one day and belike chasing around a toddler
sounds fun wouldn't they?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
And be like chasing around a toddler sounds fun.
I've had women that they'reliterally debating between
investing in a mashmaker orfreezing their eggs because it's
so similar and there's asimilar payments.
Or sometimes they'll do one orthe other first and that's it's
just part of their career overthem.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
All right.
So we've talked a little bitabout what it offers women and
all these choices now in thedating world that are available
to women.
We're talking birth control,obviously, egg freezing, so that
you can do the baby stuff andfind the guy later in life if
you're not finding the rightperson.
Curious, how does this affectthe men out there looking for
(20:07):
women?
Right, this dynamic has changedbetween men and women and the
dating world has changeddrastically, and the data is out
there to show that.
We haven't quite figured it outLike you clearly have come up
with a process that's working,but can you talk a little bit
about that shifting dynamic andwhat it looks like?
Speaker 2 (20:26):
I think, as we ask people, who are they looking for
?
What age range are they open todating?
And typically you would getmaybe in the past you would get
guys that would say I wantsomebody that's under 30 or
something, because I don't wantsomebody that wants to hurry up
and have a kid, and so we couldsay what if she has her eggs are
frozen and there doesn't havethat hurry up immediacy type of
(20:50):
pressure, is that somebody thatyou'd be open to?
And then they can weigh thatdecision.
But just give more options tomen too, because now they don't
need to just look at somebodythat's in a particular age
bracket and open it up.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
And how does the power dynamic shift affect men
in the dating world?
Speaker 2 (21:15):
so women it's.
People always ask me what arepeople looking for in a match?
That depends on if it's afemale or male males generally,
of course it's going to beattraction is the first thing
they care about.
And then I always say guys wantsomebody that's hot but cool,
so because they want to beattracted to her, but they want
somebody that was fun partner,that they can talk to and have,
(21:38):
just enjoy life with.
And I never get men who arelike she needs to make X amount
of money each year, whereaswomen that is something that is
more important to them.
It's going to be.
Women have usually a longer listof things they want to do and
it's income comes up a lot,especially for women that are
(21:58):
more high-achievers andhigh-earners, because they feel
like, no, I've earned so much.
I want somebody that I respect,that earns more than me.
I want somebody that's morealpha than I am, and I always
will challenge women in theirbeliefs, because these men
they're fewer and further apart.
There's not as many of them, ofcourse, available and single,
(22:21):
and you're competing with everyother woman out there, because
those guys don't care what yourresume says or how much money
you make.
They care about who you are andthey're picking their life
partner for different reasons.
It's just a lot morecompetitive.
And then also, I think that ifyou're with somebody that is
also very much a high achiever,very self-focused they are maybe
(22:46):
an entrepreneur, their focus isgoing to be on themselves and
they're not as great of a theymay not be as great of a partner
, whereas somebody that is moresupportive maybe not that alpha
mentality.
They're just.
They're going to be proud ofyou and help you to do your
thing, and if that is yourcareer is most important to you,
(23:07):
then you want to keep movingthat forward.
They can help you to do yourthing, and if that is your
career is most important to you,then you want to keep moving
that forward and they can helpyou to do that.
But being with somebody that'salso an alpha is going to be
butting heads the whole time.
So it's just important to beopen-minded into what kind of
career you think you want,because you can't have it all at
the end of the day, right thatmakes sense, I think about.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
I had a girlfriend who was an achiever and had made
a lot of money and it wasinteresting because she was like
I want an, I want a big, tallman who's successful, aff,
affluent, blah, blah, blah.
And she really was judgmentalof men that way right, you know,
(23:52):
would say things like we don'tlet men be men anymore, meaning
like when you know we, when menare emotionally supportive and
kind and, like you said, likecare about your success and in
that role, it's like them notbeing manly enough.
I would say that's sexy as fuck.
But she ultimately ended upwith a short, bald guy who she
(24:12):
supported.
So it was interesting to see.
Here's the idea we've been fedand here's maybe where the match
works out.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
That's interesting.
We get a lot of women that theyhave been super successful and
they want a guy that is alsoreally successful, and then they
think they're.
Maybe some of them might thinkthey're going to give up their
careers just so they can bestay-at-home wives and with
these guys, and so that's not.
It's just not realistic in alot of ways, especially nowadays
where you need two incomes,especially if you want to
(24:44):
maintain your lifestyle andeverything.
Um, yeah, you hear, maybe inthe us anyway, a lot of times
you do need two incomes.
Even I hear about families thatare making over six figures and
they're struggling.
So I think it's.
It's just not always realistic.
And yeah, that's six, five blueeyes, finance kind of he is a
(25:06):
percent of the person.
There's less than 5 000 ofthose men that exist in the
whole country and I'm guessingthey're not single or they might
be assholes too.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
I don't know I feel, like the autonomy women now have
with having control is reallygetting control over our
reproductive lives.
And then being able to makemoney ourselves gives us control
over a lot in the dating world.
But it's interesting becausewhile we've gained this autonomy
(25:36):
, we've struggled to change ourmindset.
In dating meaning, there isthis idea we're still stuck on
he has got to make x amount ofmoney.
Right, because it's writteninto our dna to compete for the
man that makes the most money.
Like our mothers, ourgrandmothers.
It's written in thatgenerational trauma is handed
(25:57):
right down to us and it's likewe have to work to change that
mindset.
But we also have the mindset ofcompeting with other women.
Right, because looking atanother woman when she walks in
the door and the first thingthat comes into our mind is like
measuring up, because we havecompeted over resources, being
men for so many centuries orwhatever, and we have to do the
(26:19):
work of changing our mind andgoing is that what I really need
?
Or is what I really need rightnow?
Someone who, like, feeds mysoul, who makes me feel
emotionally secure, who listensto me and provides these other
resources that maybe aredeficient in my life?
Speaker 2 (26:35):
right, I feel like they want both sides masculine,
masculine man but also they wanthim to be emotionally
intelligent and charming, allthese other features which
somebody might consider to beinfeminate.
So it is.
(26:56):
It's that's.
I think a lot of guys arefeeling conflicted and they're
not sure what to do, especiallyafter I always talk about after
the me too movement, especiallybecause they don't feel
comfortable approaching, theydon't feel comfortable taking
charge.
Women will get mad at them foropening the door or offering to
pay.
I can pay for myself.
I feel like that's just andultimately is insecurity on
(27:19):
their behalf and they feel likethey need to prove something.
But yeah, it's a challengingtime and dynamic for men to try
to know what's the right thingto do and how to be, because not
everybody's going to have thesame reaction.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I agree, I think everybody's a little bit
confused on both sides.
I think in some ways, men areeven more behind and trying to
catch up in the dating world.
I'm curious about your point ofview, just simply because it's
not a lot has changed for themas far as they can still go
after the career and find thesuccess there, go after the
(27:57):
house and so on and so forth,but when it comes to find, like
it's very specific, the thingthat's changed is women.
Right, I mean, for us a lot haschanged.
We can now get our own house,we can have a job, we can do.
It's a lot.
And we don't have a lot ofmentors to show us how to do it.
Well, right, because only whatone generation in front of me,
(28:20):
like the women who raised me.
They were the ones who gottheir own bank account and
started to have jobs that wereoutside of teacher and nurse.
So I don't have.
I didn't have a lot of goodmentors out there as far as
women, and but for men it's likeoh, how do I now?
What do they want now and wait,I do this thing, but now you
(28:42):
want this?
No one, I don't know how to dothat.
And on top, of it now.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
I don't even have control over the the child
rearing or making babies aspectright yeah, what I'm actually
I'm seeing a lot of is so, likethe good, the guys that are a
catch, they're having womenpursuing them.
So women want to be pursued bythe guy and they think that he
should just come up to me andapproach me and tell me how
(29:08):
beautiful I am and blah, blah,blah and pursue me.
But the ones that are truly akajji, they're not doing that
because they have women comingto them, because the women see
that these guys have a lot tooffer, so that the women are
going to pursue them.
So if you're waiting for theseguys to make a move, it's just
it's never going to happen andthey don't even know how.
(29:29):
The ones that do know how yougot to watch over.
So that would be concernedabout.
Why are they?
What are they selling or whatare they trying to get out of it
?
Because that's just it's.
It is so difficult for people.
They have to be used to gettingrejected and be OK with it, and
I feel like they're going to bemore of a salesman.
So, yeah, it's definitelychanging dynamics and an
(29:52):
interesting time, but it's also,like she said, it's great for
women because you can go afterwhat you want.
But if you do see somebody thatyou're interested in, they will
be flattered and appreciate it,because they are afraid to to
creep somebody out to offendsomebody, to maybe hit on a
woman that's.
They don't know if she's singleor not, so it's just definitely
(30:14):
interesting.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Right, at least.
So like for me.
I'm again.
I'm single.
I am not afraid to approachsomebody that I'm interested in.
I'm not afraid of rejection.
I've gone through the paces ofrejection enough in my life that
it doesn't scare me it doesn'treally affect me in the way that
I think it did when I wasyounger creepy, and I think
(30:47):
there are lots of ways to dothat.
I think men need to like comeon, buck up.
You know you can walk up andnot be a creep.
But when a man magic manages todo that, he very quickly moves
to the top of my list.
There's something about a guywho like will come up like humor
, just say something like funnythat I can riff off of, and then
we're going right and banterback and forth.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
I love a little banter, like learn to banter.
If we could do a class andbanter for and forth.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
I love a little banter.
Learn to banter.
If we could do a class inbanter for men, I'm telling you
they would do so much better outin the dating world.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
It's taking that initial step.
That's scary.
It's so scary for them becausewomen can be really mean.
At least you're nice and yourecognize, hey, they're putting
themselves out there and atleast be polite to them.
But oftentimes they can getshut down so hard that they
never want to do it again.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Right and I would agree with that.
I think that, because of allthe bad experiences women have
when somebody approaches them,they'll kind of like do the mean
girl thing right off the bat.
And one of the things I that,as someone who's like I don't
want to be on dating appsanymore, Like I just I'm not
interested in it.
(31:54):
What I've done in my own lifeis I'm like I'm going to be open
If someone approaches me whoI'm not attracted to, like right
off the bat I'm like I can tellthis isn't a thing, Like I'm
open, just having the quickconversation and then giving the
gentle signs that this isn'thappening.
But I also want to be open tolike meeting and connecting and
(32:17):
I think where the mean girlneeds to come in is when you say
no and no and they keep, theyviolate your nose, Like when
it's very clear that it's not athing.
Don't ask me why Violate yournose, like when it's very clear
that it's not a thing.
Don't ask me why Accept it,Because I don't want to tell you
why.
I would never ask someone why Idon't want to know why you don't
like me.
I just met you, you know.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
Right, Right, yeah, it can be very challenging, but
I think that you just touched onsomething like you're open to
connecting and I think howimportant that is because that's
part of why I got into this.
An introduction to someone canbe so life changing, not just
for love, but for business,friendship, whatever and you
(33:03):
just never know where thatconnection is going to come from
and how they may change yourworld.
Maybe they'll introduce you tosomebody else that could really
change your world.
And especially now after COVID,where we're all in isolation, I
think it's so important to havethose little micro connections
and call them nano ships, right,and being open to having little
(33:25):
little relationships, littleconnections with people like
maybe it's just, you know,chatting with somebody new at
the gym and I think peopleappreciate it so much and just
being seen and for rooted, likesomebody gave a crap about me
today and asked me somethingabout myself and it all comes
around.
I believe that it all comesaround and after, because after
(33:47):
being in this role and alsobeing a mom, I started looking
at everyone very differently.
I always think about how youknow that person was somebody's
baby at some point and you knowthey have, and I've sat across
from so many people hearingtheir stories and they're you
know they're crying overwhatever life experiences
they've had.
They're you know they're cryingover whatever life experiences
they've had.
So I think it's reallyimportant to show compassion and
(34:10):
, just you know, be kind toeveryone and have those little
connections.
Make those little connectionsbecause you don't know, it could
really change somebody's lifeor yours.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
And that's an exciting idea, isn't it?
That if you walk out, and Idon't care if I'm at the grocery
store or at the gym, I work athome.
So I have to really makeopportunities for a connection,
just to like I'm short so I canalways like get someone to get
something off the top shelf forme if I'm really interested in
them.
I can be like I can't reach it.
Would you help me?
It really works with guys too.
(34:42):
They love that.
Yeah, sure, but those littleconnections like it can make
someone's whole day like we areso isolated.
So how did covid play into theegg freezing scenario?
Speaker 2 (34:56):
my understanding from the data is like that was sort
of a turning point for womengoing like harvest me right and
then well, just like all theweddings had to get put on hold,
I'm sure All the babies, a lotof babies, had to get put on
hold Because or people justweren't able to meet to be able
to start relationships.
So I'm sure it made peoplerealize Also.
(35:20):
I mean people realized whattheir priorities were, Because
they want to.
They put them more inperspective.
Maybe they were just caught upin their work and career and
everything, and then all of asudden the world's changing and
it's really pretty scary.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
So maybe I do want to have a kid and so I'm gonna
have to take the steps needed tomake that happen well, and I
can imagine now like theelephant in the room is, with
all of everything that's goingon in America right now.
There's a lot of unrest,there's a lot of uncertainty and
I know I hear from a lot of mypeers around me like I don't
know if I want to have kidsright now.
I don't know what's coming downthe line, I don't know what
(36:01):
kind of like situation I'm goingto bring them into.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Agreed, yeah, and so egg freezing definitely buys
time.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Curry, yeah, and so Egg freezing Definitely buys
time.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Mm-hmm, and I mean that's a really good point that
I hear that all the time Peopleare, they are About what?
What kind of world am Ibringing my kid into, especially
with all the All the nucleartalk For recent, in the last
Year or two?
Speaker 1 (36:31):
A couple of things to note for my listeners.
Egg freezing is a thing outthere that women are now able to
do you as a couple are evenable to do, but women, in
particular gals, you can relax alittle bit.
Here's an option that'savailable to you if you're in a
certain income bracket.
Otherwise, we already know thatwomen have multiple different
(36:53):
ways to take control of theirfamily planning, should they
want one.
Guys, things have changed.
I would like to ask you now, asa matchmaker, I'm confident
you've matched many, many peopleand you're doing so during what
we continually callunprecedented times.
(37:14):
Right, so much has happenedbetween having a pandemic to the
changing dating trends now,with millennials moving through
and Gen Z coming into play, morewomen making money in those
generations than ever.
Right, and you're all about theprocess processes.
Can we leave my listeners, bothmen and women, with maybe some
(37:41):
insight into, with all theknowledge you have, how they can
start changing their reallystruggling right now to find one
another and find good matches,and a lot of people are opting
out, like a lot of people areliterally just I'm going to go
(38:03):
get a couple cats, or, if you'rea dog person and a dog and live
on a farm or whatever, andthat's a little bit sad.
I think we all, as humans,crave connection, crave intimacy
and touch and like at least aperson some of us more than a
person I think I kind of touchedon it a little bit ago.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
But I think one of the biggest things is being open
, and open to those little microconnections that you can make
all the time, because you don'tknow that it could be with
somebody that invites you to aparty and get off your couch and
go to the party, because we getso comfortable sitting at home
and working from home and nevermaking those connections that we
(38:45):
have to.
You have especially I thinkit's not quite half, but it's.
It is a high percentage ofpeople are introverted and so
they would prefer not to have todo all that stuff.
But it is very important tofind those connections and then
you have to be open to it.
So I would say, like whenyou're at the grocery store and
(39:08):
it's just smiling and sayinghello to people, making eye
contact, when you pass bysomebody on the street and just
being friendly and whether it'sman, woman or somebody that you
may or may not be interested in,it's just being human and
polite and I think that couldopen up the door for so much
(39:28):
more, because when you're notopen to talking to people, then
it's never going to happen.
I know that if I'm in a moodand I don't feel like talking to
anyone, then that's what'sgoing to happen.
But if I want to be open, Ialways find it interesting that
you meet a lot of people whenyou travel.
It's easier to meet people whenyou travel and I think it's
(39:49):
because of our mindset, becausewe're curious, we're out seeing
new things and we're happytypically.
And we're curious, we're outseeing new things and we're
happy typically and we're out ofour comfort zone.
So we are going to be more open.
So people always say, oh, Imeet people so much when I
travel or when I go here andthere, and it's because of you
and how you are.
But when you're in your routineevery day, you get caught up in
that and you're not having thesame openness.
(40:11):
You are when you travel.
That's one of the biggestthings.
Goodness.
You are when you travel.
That's one of the biggestthings.
Be the person that bringssunshine to other people's lives
and then it will bring you backas well.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
It's funny that you say that I just got back from a
couple of weeks ago.
I went to Mexico for two weeksand during that vacation I met
two men.
Two men approached me who I waslike, oh oh, if we lived in the
same place I would probably begoing on multiple dates with you
.
I'm like these are eligibleguys, good, looking like,
(40:44):
intelligent, fun.
As far as, like, I did go on acouple of days.
I went on multiple days inMexico and they really executed,
approaching me and then settingup dates while I was on
vacation.
Well, like the execution waslike chef's kiss and then it was
like, oh well, it's been fun,let's stay in touch, and so it's
(41:07):
funny that you bring that up.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
You're more open to it.
I also think that's a different.
It's much different than themillennials and the Gen Z
generation.
Those people have been sopampered and they haven't
learned a lot of thecommunication skills and just
(41:30):
the connection skills Even.
You hear about how depressedthey are and how they don't have
social lives.
They're just not dating at alland everyone's seen it where you
see a table full of people,they're all on their phones and
stuff.
So that's that generation.
They don't value, or they.
They just don't have the kindof interactions that you know
(41:51):
generation x would have per se.
So there's less appreciationfor it too.
But I think for any generationit's just important to be open
and making those connectionsalways, you know, just smiling
at people so they feel like theycan talk to you and approach
you.
Or maybe you're the one makingthe first comment.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
Right, and so what?
As far as matchmaking goes,what is the age range of people
who are primarily in?
Speaker 2 (42:21):
your database.
Oh, we work with people intheir 20s all the way up to 80s,
but it's primarily like 30s,40s, 50s, obviously all right,
and with the egg freezing cominginto play, do our men All right
?
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Before I ask this question, I have to ask another
question.
Do men who are on you know, domen who are in your database,
your matchmaking database,primarily look for younger women
I'm talking men in their 40s,50s and up or is it true that
they primarily look for youngerwomen, or come in hot that way?
Speaker 2 (43:01):
Well, everyone's different.
It depends on the person andthe region, quite frankly, where
people live.
So it's different from, I wouldsay, like California, Miami,
Vegas, you're going to see moretransactional type relationships
.
So people that you know, womenare wanting a purse for dating.
(43:23):
When difficult, you're undatinga guy and then the guy expects
somebody younger, beautiful sex,the whole world, and so that is
just the transactional type ofrelationship, and so that is
just a transactional type ofrelationship.
I think people that are say,for example, the Midwest or
South, yeah, the open day dateneeds someone younger, but they
don't want to be embarrassed, sothey don't want somebody to
(43:46):
confuse her for their daughter.
Right, there is a point ofdiminishing her term.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Fair, fair.
Does the egg freezing changethat dynamic?
Does it open men who might havebeen looking for younger women?
Yeah, does this now new abilityto do that?
Really?
Do you see them reacting tothat and going, oh, okay.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Yeah, they'd be.
If they want to have children,they'd be open to somebody that
is closer to their age.
If she has had her eggs frozen.
I think it's yeah, it justcomes down to they want to, they
want to have kids.
Makes sense for somebody, ifthey're, say, four years old,
probably would be make moresense to be dating for they
(44:33):
think they need to find somebodythat's in her early 30s, for
example, because they don't haveas much of a need to rush.
But if you tell them this issomebody that is close to your
age and she has her eggs frozen,so you should meet, and they'd
be more open to meeting.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
Okay, well, interesting.
There you go, guys.
Ladies, if you want to be moreeligible to these older men who
want to have kids in their 40s,50s and 60s, there is an option
for you.
But in general, I think thatmore options for women is always
(45:12):
going to be better.
You know like you want to livethe life you want to live, and
so it's great that this issomething that is open to you.
Now, if you are looking for amatchmaker I mean, april has
quite the resume, so you've alsodone matchmaking with
(45:32):
celebrities and some really highprofile people, so people trust
you to find, help them find,the partner they want.
Can you tell my listeners wherethey can find you and find out
more about all of the thingsyou're doing?
Speaker 2 (45:47):
It's not just me.
I have a whole team ofmatchmakers behind me and we are
nationwide and people can justgo to our website.
It's lumasearchcom L-U-M-A,which stands for Luxury Cash
Banking, and so, lumasearchcom,just fill out the profile form
and anyone can be in ourdatabase.
There's no charge for that,because we want a huge database
(46:08):
with lots of options to choosefrom when we're looking for the
right one for our clients.
But if you want to be proactive, you can opt to be a proactive
client as well.
So it's just, it's up to youand it depends on you how
particular you are.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
Oh really interesting , so you need to get in the
database at least I know forsure, I know I'm like maybe I'll
try that, why not?
Um so, yeah, so anybody canjust get into your database.
It can be like here's myprofile.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
They can submit their profile.
You can't see anyone else.
That's in the system, but youcan be at least part of it, so
the matchmakers can consider youas a match and you have a
profile.
You will update and submit yourphotos and everything.
So then when we're looking forsomebody, for someone with all
your information, like yourpreferences, if you're open to
(47:00):
dating someone out of state, ifyou have kids bought kids will
date somebody with kids all ofthose things that's important.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
Oh, I check it out, I'm just curious, all right.
Well, that is good to know.
So you're going to go checkthat out, folks, if you are
interested, or even just get inthe database, why would you not?
And then, of course, if you areready to be proactive and have
someone who has a process inmind that works, this is a great
(47:29):
option.
We all need love, right?
I think so.
Thank you for joining us.
And to listeners out there, youknow, if you're looking for a
coach in intimacy and your sexlife, you want a cheerleader, a
sidekick, if you will, a wingwoman.
My books are open.
You can find me atTalkSexWithAnettecom for more
information there.
(47:50):
Reach out to me at my email,annette, at TalkSexWithAnettecom
.
Thank you so much, april, forjoining me.
I appreciate it.
And to my listeners, I'll seeyou in the locker room.
Cheers.
Do the sex Think fun, honest and feminist as fuck,
and always with the goal offighting the patriarchy.
One female orgasm at a time.
Welcome to the locker room.
Today's locker Talk and Shotstopic is the new dating
(00:46):
landscape how egg freezing isredefining relationships and
empowering women in their datinglives.
In today's complex dating world, many women are taking control
of their reproductive futures bychoosing to freeze their eggs.
This decision not onlyalleviates the pressure of
biological clocks, but alsoreshapes how they approach
(01:07):
relationships, dating and familyplanning.
Joining us is April Davis, therenowned relationship expert and
celebrity matchmaker from LumaLuxury Matchmaking, to delve
into how this trend isinfluencing modern dating
dynamics and empowering women tomake choices on their own terms
(01:29):
.
Now, before we dive into this, Iwant to remind you that I now
have an OnlyFans, where you cango and get my intimacy how-tos
demonstrations and guidedself-pleasure meditations.
You can also go to Substack,where I am writing about all of
the different ways you can startimproving your intimate life
and experiencing more pleasurein your own body.
(01:50):
Tonight you can find me in bothplaces, at the handle at
TalkSucksWithAnette, and I, ofcourse, will be putting the
links below.
So go and check those out.
But let's get back to freezingeggs and dating.
April is here with me, and AprilDavis is the founder and CEO of
Luma Luxury Matchmaking.
Luma Luxury Matchmaking wasestablished in 2010 by April, so
(02:15):
it's been around.
She had been matchmaking foryears and wanted to take her
passion to the next level.
With an MBA, a background inprocess improvement I love that,
because that definitely is partof dating the process of it and
a ton of single friends, sherealized there was an
opportunity to improve theprocess of finding one's partner
indeed, so she combined herpassion and expertise to develop
(02:39):
a luxury matchmaking firm.
Now, with more than 1 millionsingles in her network and
rising I don't know why I'm notthere.
April is happy to say that herfirm has the largest database of
vetted singles.
So these are quality people.
April, will you take a momentto tell my listeners a little
(03:01):
bit more about you?
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, so I started the company in 2010, and the
first couple I ever set up waswhen I was 16 years old.
Actually and yes, I have abackground in process
improvement I just basicallyapplied it to the dating world.
After looking around and seeingI had so many amazing single
girlfriends and they just didn'thave a lot of great options.
I'm also married to a divorceattorney, so that gave me a
(03:26):
little bit of a differentperspective on the dating and
relationships and what works andwhat doesn't work.
So, yeah, I'm really more of avalues-focused type person or
matchmaker, and we work withpeople all over the country a
lot of busy professionals,executives and business owners,
(03:48):
people that are more specificbut also want their
confidentiality, and they're notlooking for just anybody.
They're looking for the rightperson that they can ultimately
spend the rest of their lifewith.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
So you really know, you have a good inside view of
dating trends and how people goabout finding their perfect
match.
I assume you're alwaysrefreshing this information as
it comes up.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
I always preach about this Don't make generalizations
or blanket statements, becausethe moment you do, or whenever I
think that I'm seeing a pattern, I'll meet somebody that just
blows that stereotype out of thewater.
So it's important to keep anopen mind.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yeah, I love that, okay.
So, guys, I want you to stay tothe end, because you're going
to find out a little bit moreabout what's going on in today's
dating world.
Obviously, there's a trendWomen are taking control of
their reproductive abilities orchoices in a specific way
freezing their eggs and so bythe end of this podcast, you are
(05:00):
going to have a differentperspective on dating, maybe a
different perspective on how toapproach it and find more
success, or, if you're a womanlistening, how to take more
control of your choices indating and who you date and how
that goes.
So stay to the end.
I am ready to find out allabout this and how this is
(05:20):
empowering women in the datingworld.
So let's talk about datingCheers.
I want to talk about what aredating trends or factors that
have led to women choosing thevery, not just we're not talking
about birth control here, likethat's one way you can take
control of your reproductivefuture, but to freeze your eggs.
(05:43):
What are the factors that fedinto this trend happening?
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I think, first of all , it's education.
So that's going to take up asmore women are becoming more and
more educated.
It takes up a lot of time, andso, instead of getting married
and having kids early on, theyare investing in their education
and career.
Therefore.
So, for example, we get a lotof women who are doctors and
(06:14):
around the age 35, and they'vebeen dedicated to their school
and work and now they're like oh, I have to hurry up and find
that person before it's too late.
So I think that is a huge partof it, because we, our society,
in the United States, we are setup for the individual.
Everything's do-it-yourself,you don't need anyone, you don't
need to depend on anyone, youcan have a car, bring yourself
wherever you need, you can buyyour own place, whereas in other
(06:36):
countries it's morecommunity-focused.
And so I think that people justit's just a different kind of
mentality.
They're able to do everythingthemselves and when they want to
and whatever they want, and wedon't have that need for that
other person, like ourgrandparents did, in order to
(06:59):
live a healthy and successfullife.
We now can do everything on ourown.
So I think that's a big factorplaying into it, and I think the
other thing is just women are.
When you spend so much time anddedication to your career, it
becomes who you, it's your, it'swho you are.
(07:20):
You know your identity isattached to it and after working
so hard on that, not everybodywants to give that up in order
to have kids at that moment, andthis is a totally different
life.
A lot of people are waiting, sothey have maybe their
financials in the rightcondition, so then they can
(07:40):
still continue to work and maybehire a daddy or whatever their
lifestyle needs to be.
So they're not necessarilywanting to have a kid when
they're in their 20s, becauseit's really hard and it does
take a lot of energy at any age.
But it's easier when you havemore resources, money, ie money
(08:01):
to be able to dedicate towards achild.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Historically women have been dependent on finding a
man and having a man to survive, right for income.
We didn't have our own bankaccounts, we weren't able to get
the same jobs at all at onepoint but or the same level of
jobs and income that men were,so it wasn't like realistic for
us to think we could survive ormake it in a comfortable life on
(08:27):
our own.
And at this point now inhistory that power dynamic has
changed because women are notonly able to get jobs but
they're able to excel and makeenough money to support
themselves.
So that has changed the datingworld a lot, right?
Just the dynamics between menand women in the dating world.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Yeah, they can even have a kid without a man.
Yeah, and a lot of women chooseto right.
But what's more important tothem is having the right partner
than just any partner to be theparent of their child.
So they may choose to justforego having that partner and
(09:11):
finding that one later.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
That is something that I think has changed right.
I feel like historically, a lotof women were just they felt
like they had to find a partnerbecause that was survival right,
which meant you didn'tnecessarily get to say here are
my non-negotiables, everythinghad to be a little negotiable.
When you're in competition forwomen are in a position of
(09:42):
saying I don't have to negotiatesomething I really want because
I'm okay on my own Right rightand they don't need.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
You're right, they don't need someone.
I just recently watched Prideand Prejudice and I think it's
so funny how it lays outperfectly the dynamic and how
things have changed.
It lays out perfectly thedynamic and how things have
changed and thank god we're notback in that era where we
literally had to worry aboutstarving to death unless we
could find somebody that cantake care of us because women
(10:14):
couldn't work.
They are, they were limited onwhat teams jobs they could even
take if they were able to take ajob, and it's very different
nowadays.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Right.
And now being able to even beat the point where you can say I
can even freeze my eggs like Ican take.
Probably one of the biggestsort of final barriers to
independence or being in controlof your dating life is that
biological clock right.
And so now that barrier can bepushed back, that pressure can
(10:51):
be pushed back further becauseyou can take your eggs and
freeze them and then down theroad in your 40s I've even heard
, I've known, of people in theirlate 40s and even early 50s.
I am 50 and the idea of havinga baby right now I'm like but to
each their own right that youcan really push back that
(11:13):
biological clock, because thebiological clock really can be a
pressure point for women.
No, yeah, right thank youdidn't.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Yeah right, Didn't Cameron Diaz just have a baby
and she's 52, 52 years old yeah.
I think that's what I heard.
I don't know if it's true.
I heard people are mad at hertoo for doing it.
It's just so weird to me.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
That people would be mad is weird to you that people
would be mad, or weird that shewould do it To me.
It's weird that people.
Why would you be mad or weird?
Speaker 2 (11:44):
that she would do it.
To me it's weird that peoplewhy would you be mad?
Why would you care?
Yeah, and why would you be mad?
That is what I was thinkingthere, and it was actually last
year.
She had her second baby, so shewas probably like 51 years old
and people thought it was weird.
I don't know, people haveopinions for anything, but I
think it's pretty cool.
It's amazing that she can, thatshe can.
(12:05):
She's somebody that probablyshould be a mom, so she seems
like a nice person and she candefinitely afford it.
It's good for her and I thinkit's a good example for other
people.
You do have choices.
You don't have to feel likeyou're desperate and there are a
lot of options out there,especially when you have extra
resources and maybe you put yourjob in front of everything else
.
Yeah, but everything's everyoneis different.
(12:26):
Every thing is.
Everybody's body is different.
I'm not saying that it ispossible for everyone, but
there's definitely a lot moreoptions nowadays.
But also, I think fertilityrates are it's gone down.
It's harder to get pregnant.
I keep hearing more and morewomen have to go the IVF route,
even if they're younger, even ifthey're in their 30s and
(12:50):
they're otherwise healthy, butthey need some extra help with
their fertility.
I think, because so many peoplehave used birth control, that
it's caused issues with theirhormones down the road, so
that's something to think about.
If you're on birth controllong-term, it can wreak havoc on
your body in other ways, so itmakes it more challenging to get
(13:12):
pregnant down the road.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
That the whole topic of the responsibility of birth
control being on women and whatit does to our body is worth
noting.
On one hand, it does give usmore control in our dating life
and protection against thenbeing tied to man that we don't
want to be with, which sometimesyou find out a little too late.
(13:34):
I can tell you firsthand ittakes a while to not only vet
but find the right partner.
And if you get pregnant in thatdating vetting period partner
and if you get pregnant in thatdating vetting period that can
be it can affect your ability tofollow your career and become
completely independent.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
You hear about this legislators proposed a $10,000
fine for men ejaculating withoutintent to create a baby
conceive in Ohio.
I just like I haven't lookedinto that much Like wow, that's
interesting, but it has.
It's been something that'sbrought up like okay, they're
(14:11):
just the fact that they'rereally.
It is really on women to bearthis burden.
And then I have also heardabout they made this male birth
control and the men didn't wantit or they didn't like it
because it made them moody andhad all kinds of hormonal issues
.
Oh funny, I don't know anythingabout that.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
I love that you bring this up because I have been
reflecting.
I am in perimenopause and sofor years I've been on the IUD
without, without, with just theMirena, so just a little bit of
progesterone.
It doesn't affect my hormones,my moods, I don't feel it in my
body.
But then when I went intoperimenopause my doctor was like
(14:54):
we tried different things andshe tried putting me back on a
birth control pill and it mademe feel like I was going insane
and I thought to myself I was onthis when I was a young,
developing woman, in my lateteens and my twenties, when my
brain was still developing, mybody was still developing, I was
(15:17):
trying to figure out mysexuality and do all of these
things and I was like and then Ihave a daughter and I watched
her kind of go through it and Ithink it's crazy what we subject
women to and then when theycreate something viable for men,
it's if it's a littleuncomfortable, it's like nope,
scrap it Doesn't work.
(15:38):
What if?
For?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
example, for your IUD .
They don't even give you anypain blocker.
You're just supposed to, and ifthey replace that again kick
this thing out and putting inanother one, and you're supposed
to just be okay with it.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
And it hurts, I can tell you.
I can tell you that it hurts.
When they put my last one in, Icried, I was just cried.
I'm like it triggered everytrauma in my life and they were
like, oh, I'm sorry.
I'm like I know that there'spain meds for this.
They just don't want to do it.
They just I'm not.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
It's great yeah, it won't.
It costs money.
So imagine putting any kind ofdevice, inserting any kind of
device into any pretty your skinor anything.
That's what you're doing.
Of course it's painful.
When can you imagine like mendealing with something like that
?
Or of course not they like itbasically in their balls or
anything.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
They'd never let you insert something in their balls
or in their urethra.
I think we as women are justlike, want control over our
lives so much and autonomy andthe ability to and I would argue
it makes the world better foreveryone, because now we aren't
partnering based on this needthing and ending up mismatched
(16:46):
in long-term partnerships thatare so unhappy.
And there are so many of us.
Even at my age, I ended up inpartnerships I was still like
raised during that time where Ididn't feel like I had as much
choice, and so I ended up inpartnerships where I was just so
unhappy.
And now it's interesting beingsingle at this period of my life
(17:08):
where I'm like I can makechoices, I don't need anyone, I
am autonomous and I can choose,which gives me a lot of hope
because I can find a partnerthat we will make hopefully
someday.
Someday we will make each otherlike truly happy and have that
healthy relationship.
(17:29):
But now younger women haveaccess to this.
But here is my question.
So, first of all, this eggfreezing let's be honest, it's
only accessible to certainpeople with a certain amount of
money.
I assume it's very expensive.
But my question is how doesthat affect a woman's view of
(17:55):
dating and feelings and emotionsaround her choices in dating
and proceeding forward with it.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Naturally, they feel less pressure to hurry up and
find that person as soon aspossible because their A's are
on A's, they have time, butpressure is not there as much
anyway, and so therefore theycould be more just, choosier on
that type of person or they willinvolve another person even so.
(18:23):
It definitely gives them a lotof options.
Going through that wholeprocess it is super invasive and
all the problems and stuff theyhave to put in their body and
we're the same with IVF it'sjust, it is a lot on, not just
mentally but of coursephysically.
It's a lot on people and it canbe traumatic for people.
So, yeah, it's making thatchoice, but I think a lot on
(18:45):
people and can be traumatic forpeople.
So, yeah, it's making thatchoice.
But I think a lot of women justdon't feel like they have any
other choice.
They just they have to if theywant to have kids.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Or it buys them time with making the decision about
kids I don't know about I'mcurious on your end, on my end
and conversations I've had withespecially younger women.
They're like I don't know yetif I want kids and they start to
feel pressured to make thisdecision, I could see how it
would like buy them time in thatdecision making.
(19:15):
I don't feel like I want a babyright now, but maybe 40.
I'll wake up one day and belike chasing around a toddler
sounds fun wouldn't they?
Speaker 2 (19:25):
And be like chasing around a toddler sounds fun.
I've had women that they'reliterally debating between
investing in a mashmaker orfreezing their eggs because it's
so similar and there's asimilar payments.
Or sometimes they'll do one orthe other first and that's it's
just part of their career overthem.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
All right.
So we've talked a little bitabout what it offers women and
all these choices now in thedating world that are available
to women.
We're talking birth control,obviously, egg freezing, so that
you can do the baby stuff andfind the guy later in life if
you're not finding the rightperson.
Curious, how does this affectthe men out there looking for
(20:07):
women?
Right, this dynamic has changedbetween men and women and the
dating world has changeddrastically, and the data is out
there to show that.
We haven't quite figured it outLike you clearly have come up
with a process that's working,but can you talk a little bit
about that shifting dynamic andwhat it looks like?
Speaker 2 (20:26):
I think, as we ask people, who are they looking for
?
What age range are they open todating?
And typically you would getmaybe in the past you would get
guys that would say I wantsomebody that's under 30 or
something, because I don't wantsomebody that wants to hurry up
and have a kid, and so we couldsay what if she has her eggs are
frozen and there doesn't havethat hurry up immediacy type of
(20:50):
pressure, is that somebody thatyou'd be open to?
And then they can weigh thatdecision.
But just give more options tomen too, because now they don't
need to just look at somebodythat's in a particular age
bracket and open it up.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
And how does the power dynamic shift affect men
in the dating world?
Speaker 2 (21:15):
so women it's.
People always ask me what arepeople looking for in a match?
That depends on if it's afemale or male males generally,
of course it's going to beattraction is the first thing
they care about.
And then I always say guys wantsomebody that's hot but cool,
so because they want to beattracted to her, but they want
somebody that was fun partner,that they can talk to and have,
(21:38):
just enjoy life with.
And I never get men who arelike she needs to make X amount
of money each year, whereaswomen that is something that is
more important to them.
It's going to be.
Women have usually a longer listof things they want to do and
it's income comes up a lot,especially for women that are
(21:58):
more high-achievers andhigh-earners, because they feel
like, no, I've earned so much.
I want somebody that I respect,that earns more than me.
I want somebody that's morealpha than I am, and I always
will challenge women in theirbeliefs, because these men
they're fewer and further apart.
There's not as many of them, ofcourse, available and single,
(22:21):
and you're competing with everyother woman out there, because
those guys don't care what yourresume says or how much money
you make.
They care about who you are andthey're picking their life
partner for different reasons.
It's just a lot morecompetitive.
And then also, I think that ifyou're with somebody that is
also very much a high achiever,very self-focused they are maybe
(22:46):
an entrepreneur, their focus isgoing to be on themselves and
they're not as great of a theymay not be as great of a partner
, whereas somebody that is moresupportive maybe not that alpha
mentality.
They're just.
They're going to be proud ofyou and help you to do your
thing, and if that is yourcareer is most important to you,
(23:07):
then you want to keep movingthat forward.
They can help you to do yourthing, and if that is your
career is most important to you,then you want to keep moving
that forward and they can helpyou to do that.
But being with somebody that'salso an alpha is going to be
butting heads the whole time.
So it's just important to beopen-minded into what kind of
career you think you want,because you can't have it all at
the end of the day, right thatmakes sense, I think about.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
I had a girlfriend who was an achiever and had made
a lot of money and it wasinteresting because she was like
I want an, I want a big, tallman who's successful, aff,
affluent, blah, blah, blah.
And she really was judgmentalof men that way right, you know,
(23:52):
would say things like we don'tlet men be men anymore, meaning
like when you know we, when menare emotionally supportive and
kind and, like you said, likecare about your success and in
that role, it's like them notbeing manly enough.
I would say that's sexy as fuck.
But she ultimately ended upwith a short, bald guy who she
(24:12):
supported.
So it was interesting to see.
Here's the idea we've been fedand here's maybe where the match
works out.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
That's interesting.
We get a lot of women that theyhave been super successful and
they want a guy that is alsoreally successful, and then they
think they're.
Maybe some of them might thinkthey're going to give up their
careers just so they can bestay-at-home wives and with
these guys, and so that's not.
It's just not realistic in alot of ways, especially nowadays
where you need two incomes,especially if you want to
(24:44):
maintain your lifestyle andeverything.
Um, yeah, you hear, maybe inthe us anyway, a lot of times
you do need two incomes.
Even I hear about families thatare making over six figures and
they're struggling.
So I think it's.
It's just not always realistic.
And yeah, that's six, five blueeyes, finance kind of he is a
(25:06):
percent of the person.
There's less than 5 000 ofthose men that exist in the
whole country and I'm guessingthey're not single or they might
be assholes too.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
I don't know I feel, like the autonomy women now have
with having control is reallygetting control over our
reproductive lives.
And then being able to makemoney ourselves gives us control
over a lot in the dating world.
But it's interesting becausewhile we've gained this autonomy
(25:36):
, we've struggled to change ourmindset.
In dating meaning, there isthis idea we're still stuck on
he has got to make x amount ofmoney.
Right, because it's writteninto our dna to compete for the
man that makes the most money.
Like our mothers, ourgrandmothers.
It's written in thatgenerational trauma is handed
(25:57):
right down to us and it's likewe have to work to change that
mindset.
But we also have the mindset ofcompeting with other women.
Right, because looking atanother woman when she walks in
the door and the first thingthat comes into our mind is like
measuring up, because we havecompeted over resources, being
men for so many centuries orwhatever, and we have to do the
(26:19):
work of changing our mind andgoing is that what I really need
?
Or is what I really need rightnow?
Someone who, like, feeds mysoul, who makes me feel
emotionally secure, who listensto me and provides these other
resources that maybe aredeficient in my life?
Speaker 2 (26:35):
right, I feel like they want both sides masculine,
masculine man but also they wanthim to be emotionally
intelligent and charming, allthese other features which
somebody might consider to beinfeminate.
So it is.
(26:56):
It's that's.
I think a lot of guys arefeeling conflicted and they're
not sure what to do, especiallyafter I always talk about after
the me too movement, especiallybecause they don't feel
comfortable approaching, theydon't feel comfortable taking
charge.
Women will get mad at them foropening the door or offering to
pay.
I can pay for myself.
I feel like that's just andultimately is insecurity on
(27:19):
their behalf and they feel likethey need to prove something.
But yeah, it's a challengingtime and dynamic for men to try
to know what's the right thingto do and how to be, because not
everybody's going to have thesame reaction.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I agree, I think everybody's a little bit
confused on both sides.
I think in some ways, men areeven more behind and trying to
catch up in the dating world.
I'm curious about your point ofview, just simply because it's
not a lot has changed for themas far as they can still go
after the career and find thesuccess there, go after the
(27:57):
house and so on and so forth,but when it comes to find, like
it's very specific, the thingthat's changed is women.
Right, I mean, for us a lot haschanged.
We can now get our own house,we can have a job, we can do.
It's a lot.
And we don't have a lot ofmentors to show us how to do it.
Well, right, because only whatone generation in front of me,
(28:20):
like the women who raised me.
They were the ones who gottheir own bank account and
started to have jobs that wereoutside of teacher and nurse.
So I don't have.
I didn't have a lot of goodmentors out there as far as
women, and but for men it's likeoh, how do I now?
What do they want now and wait,I do this thing, but now you
(28:42):
want this?
No one, I don't know how to dothat.
And on top, of it now.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
I don't even have control over the the child
rearing or making babies aspectright yeah, what I'm actually
I'm seeing a lot of is so, likethe good, the guys that are a
catch, they're having womenpursuing them.
So women want to be pursued bythe guy and they think that he
should just come up to me andapproach me and tell me how
(29:08):
beautiful I am and blah, blah,blah and pursue me.
But the ones that are truly akajji, they're not doing that
because they have women comingto them, because the women see
that these guys have a lot tooffer, so that the women are
going to pursue them.
So if you're waiting for theseguys to make a move, it's just
it's never going to happen andthey don't even know how.
(29:29):
The ones that do know how yougot to watch over.
So that would be concernedabout.
Why are they?
What are they selling or whatare they trying to get out of it
?
Because that's just it's.
It is so difficult for people.
They have to be used to gettingrejected and be OK with it, and
I feel like they're going to bemore of a salesman.
So, yeah, it's definitelychanging dynamics and an
(29:52):
interesting time, but it's also,like she said, it's great for
women because you can go afterwhat you want.
But if you do see somebody thatyou're interested in, they will
be flattered and appreciate it,because they are afraid to to
creep somebody out to offendsomebody, to maybe hit on a
woman that's.
They don't know if she's singleor not, so it's just definitely
(30:14):
interesting.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Right, at least.
So like for me.
I'm again.
I'm single.
I am not afraid to approachsomebody that I'm interested in.
I'm not afraid of rejection.
I've gone through the paces ofrejection enough in my life that
it doesn't scare me it doesn'treally affect me in the way that
I think it did when I wasyounger creepy, and I think
(30:47):
there are lots of ways to dothat.
I think men need to like comeon, buck up.
You know you can walk up andnot be a creep.
But when a man magic manages todo that, he very quickly moves
to the top of my list.
There's something about a guywho like will come up like humor
, just say something like funnythat I can riff off of, and then
we're going right and banterback and forth.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
I love a little banter, like learn to banter.
If we could do a class andbanter for and forth.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
I love a little banter.
Learn to banter.
If we could do a class inbanter for men, I'm telling you
they would do so much better outin the dating world.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
It's taking that initial step.
That's scary.
It's so scary for them becausewomen can be really mean.
At least you're nice and yourecognize, hey, they're putting
themselves out there and atleast be polite to them.
But oftentimes they can getshut down so hard that they
never want to do it again.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Right and I would agree with that.
I think that, because of allthe bad experiences women have
when somebody approaches them,they'll kind of like do the mean
girl thing right off the bat.
And one of the things I that,as someone who's like I don't
want to be on dating appsanymore, Like I just I'm not
interested in it.
(31:54):
What I've done in my own lifeis I'm like I'm going to be open
If someone approaches me whoI'm not attracted to, like right
off the bat I'm like I can tellthis isn't a thing, Like I'm
open, just having the quickconversation and then giving the
gentle signs that this isn'thappening.
But I also want to be open tolike meeting and connecting and
(32:17):
I think where the mean girlneeds to come in is when you say
no and no and they keep, theyviolate your nose, Like when
it's very clear that it's not athing.
Don't ask me why Violate yournose, like when it's very clear
that it's not a thing.
Don't ask me why Accept it,Because I don't want to tell you
why.
I would never ask someone why Idon't want to know why you don't
like me.
I just met you, you know.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
Right, Right, yeah, it can be very challenging, but
I think that you just touched onsomething like you're open to
connecting and I think howimportant that is because that's
part of why I got into this.
An introduction to someone canbe so life changing, not just
for love, but for business,friendship, whatever and you
(33:03):
just never know where thatconnection is going to come from
and how they may change yourworld.
Maybe they'll introduce you tosomebody else that could really
change your world.
And especially now after COVID,where we're all in isolation, I
think it's so important to havethose little micro connections
and call them nano ships, right,and being open to having little
(33:25):
little relationships, littleconnections with people like
maybe it's just, you know,chatting with somebody new at
the gym and I think peopleappreciate it so much and just
being seen and for rooted, likesomebody gave a crap about me
today and asked me somethingabout myself and it all comes
around.
I believe that it all comesaround and after, because after
(33:47):
being in this role and alsobeing a mom, I started looking
at everyone very differently.
I always think about how youknow that person was somebody's
baby at some point and you knowthey have, and I've sat across
from so many people hearingtheir stories and they're you
know they're crying overwhatever life experiences
they've had.
They're you know they're cryingover whatever life experiences
they've had.
So I think it's reallyimportant to show compassion and
(34:10):
, just you know, be kind toeveryone and have those little
connections.
Make those little connectionsbecause you don't know, it could
really change somebody's lifeor yours.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
And that's an exciting idea, isn't it?
That if you walk out, and Idon't care if I'm at the grocery
store or at the gym, I work athome.
So I have to really makeopportunities for a connection,
just to like I'm short so I canalways like get someone to get
something off the top shelf forme if I'm really interested in
them.
I can be like I can't reach it.
Would you help me?
It really works with guys too.
(34:42):
They love that.
Yeah, sure, but those littleconnections like it can make
someone's whole day like we areso isolated.
So how did covid play into theegg freezing scenario?
Speaker 2 (34:56):
my understanding from the data is like that was sort
of a turning point for womengoing like harvest me right and
then well, just like all theweddings had to get put on hold,
I'm sure All the babies, a lotof babies, had to get put on
hold Because or people justweren't able to meet to be able
to start relationships.
So I'm sure it made peoplerealize Also.
(35:20):
I mean people realized whattheir priorities were, Because
they want to.
They put them more inperspective.
Maybe they were just caught upin their work and career and
everything, and then all of asudden the world's changing and
it's really pretty scary.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
So maybe I do want to have a kid and so I'm gonna
have to take the steps needed tomake that happen well, and I
can imagine now like theelephant in the room is, with
all of everything that's goingon in America right now.
There's a lot of unrest,there's a lot of uncertainty and
I know I hear from a lot of mypeers around me like I don't
know if I want to have kidsright now.
I don't know what's coming downthe line, I don't know what
(36:01):
kind of like situation I'm goingto bring them into.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Agreed, yeah, and so egg freezing definitely buys
time.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Curry, yeah, and so Egg freezing Definitely buys
time.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Mm-hmm, and I mean that's a really good point that
I hear that all the time Peopleare, they are About what?
What kind of world am Ibringing my kid into, especially
with all the All the nucleartalk For recent, in the last
Year or two?
Speaker 1 (36:31):
A couple of things to note for my listeners.
Egg freezing is a thing outthere that women are now able to
do you as a couple are evenable to do, but women, in
particular gals, you can relax alittle bit.
Here's an option that'savailable to you if you're in a
certain income bracket.
Otherwise, we already know thatwomen have multiple different
(36:53):
ways to take control of theirfamily planning, should they
want one.
Guys, things have changed.
I would like to ask you now, asa matchmaker, I'm confident
you've matched many, many peopleand you're doing so during what
we continually callunprecedented times.
(37:14):
Right, so much has happenedbetween having a pandemic to the
changing dating trends now,with millennials moving through
and Gen Z coming into play, morewomen making money in those
generations than ever.
Right, and you're all about theprocess processes.
Can we leave my listeners, bothmen and women, with maybe some
(37:41):
insight into, with all theknowledge you have, how they can
start changing their reallystruggling right now to find one
another and find good matches,and a lot of people are opting
out, like a lot of people areliterally just I'm going to go
(38:03):
get a couple cats, or, if you'rea dog person and a dog and live
on a farm or whatever, andthat's a little bit sad.
I think we all, as humans,crave connection, crave intimacy
and touch and like at least aperson some of us more than a
person I think I kind of touchedon it a little bit ago.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
But I think one of the biggest things is being open
, and open to those little microconnections that you can make
all the time, because you don'tknow that it could be with
somebody that invites you to aparty and get off your couch and
go to the party, because we getso comfortable sitting at home
and working from home and nevermaking those connections that we
(38:45):
have to.
You have especially I thinkit's not quite half, but it's.
It is a high percentage ofpeople are introverted and so
they would prefer not to have todo all that stuff.
But it is very important tofind those connections and then
you have to be open to it.
So I would say, like whenyou're at the grocery store and
(39:08):
it's just smiling and sayinghello to people, making eye
contact, when you pass bysomebody on the street and just
being friendly and whether it'sman, woman or somebody that you
may or may not be interested in,it's just being human and
polite and I think that couldopen up the door for so much
(39:28):
more, because when you're notopen to talking to people, then
it's never going to happen.
I know that if I'm in a moodand I don't feel like talking to
anyone, then that's what'sgoing to happen.
But if I want to be open, Ialways find it interesting that
you meet a lot of people whenyou travel.
It's easier to meet people whenyou travel and I think it's
(39:49):
because of our mindset, becausewe're curious, we're out seeing
new things and we're happytypically.
And we're curious, we're outseeing new things and we're
happy typically and we're out ofour comfort zone.
So we are going to be more open.
So people always say, oh, Imeet people so much when I
travel or when I go here andthere, and it's because of you
and how you are.
But when you're in your routineevery day, you get caught up in
that and you're not having thesame openness.
(40:11):
You are when you travel.
That's one of the biggestthings.
Goodness.
You are when you travel.
That's one of the biggestthings.
Be the person that bringssunshine to other people's lives
and then it will bring you backas well.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
It's funny that you say that I just got back from a
couple of weeks ago.
I went to Mexico for two weeksand during that vacation I met
two men.
Two men approached me who I waslike, oh oh, if we lived in the
same place I would probably begoing on multiple dates with you
.
I'm like these are eligibleguys, good, looking like,
(40:44):
intelligent, fun.
As far as, like, I did go on acouple of days.
I went on multiple days inMexico and they really executed,
approaching me and then settingup dates while I was on
vacation.
Well, like the execution waslike chef's kiss and then it was
like, oh well, it's been fun,let's stay in touch, and so it's
(41:07):
funny that you bring that up.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
You're more open to it.
I also think that's a different.
It's much different than themillennials and the Gen Z
generation.
Those people have been sopampered and they haven't
learned a lot of thecommunication skills and just
(41:30):
the connection skills Even.
You hear about how depressedthey are and how they don't have
social lives.
They're just not dating at alland everyone's seen it where you
see a table full of people,they're all on their phones and
stuff.
So that's that generation.
They don't value, or they.
They just don't have the kindof interactions that you know
(41:51):
generation x would have per se.
So there's less appreciationfor it too.
But I think for any generationit's just important to be open
and making those connectionsalways, you know, just smiling
at people so they feel like theycan talk to you and approach
you.
Or maybe you're the one makingthe first comment.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
Right, and so what?
As far as matchmaking goes,what is the age range of people
who are primarily in?
Speaker 2 (42:21):
your database.
Oh, we work with people intheir 20s all the way up to 80s,
but it's primarily like 30s,40s, 50s, obviously all right,
and with the egg freezing cominginto play, do our men All right
?
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Before I ask this question, I have to ask another
question.
Do men who are on you know, domen who are in your database,
your matchmaking database,primarily look for younger women
I'm talking men in their 40s,50s and up or is it true that
they primarily look for youngerwomen, or come in hot that way?
Speaker 2 (43:01):
Well, everyone's different.
It depends on the person andthe region, quite frankly, where
people live.
So it's different from, I wouldsay, like California, Miami,
Vegas, you're going to see moretransactional type relationships
.
So people that you know, womenare wanting a purse for dating.
(43:23):
When difficult, you're undatinga guy and then the guy expects
somebody younger, beautiful sex,the whole world, and so that is
just the transactional type ofrelationship, and so that is
just a transactional type ofrelationship.
I think people that are say,for example, the Midwest or
South, yeah, the open day dateneeds someone younger, but they
don't want to be embarrassed, sothey don't want somebody to
(43:46):
confuse her for their daughter.
Right, there is a point ofdiminishing her term.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Fair, fair.
Does the egg freezing changethat dynamic?
Does it open men who might havebeen looking for younger women?
Yeah, does this now new abilityto do that?
Really?
Do you see them reacting tothat and going, oh, okay.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Yeah, they'd be.
If they want to have children,they'd be open to somebody that
is closer to their age.
If she has had her eggs frozen.
I think it's yeah, it justcomes down to they want to, they
want to have kids.
Makes sense for somebody, ifthey're, say, four years old,
probably would be make moresense to be dating for they
(44:33):
think they need to find somebodythat's in her early 30s, for
example, because they don't haveas much of a need to rush.
But if you tell them this issomebody that is close to your
age and she has her eggs frozen,so you should meet, and they'd
be more open to meeting.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
Okay, well, interesting.
There you go, guys.
Ladies, if you want to be moreeligible to these older men who
want to have kids in their 40s,50s and 60s, there is an option
for you.
But in general, I think thatmore options for women is always
(45:12):
going to be better.
You know like you want to livethe life you want to live, and
so it's great that this issomething that is open to you.
Now, if you are looking for amatchmaker I mean, april has
quite the resume, so you've alsodone matchmaking with
(45:32):
celebrities and some really highprofile people, so people trust
you to find, help them find,the partner they want.
Can you tell my listeners wherethey can find you and find out
more about all of the thingsyou're doing?
Speaker 2 (45:47):
It's not just me.
I have a whole team ofmatchmakers behind me and we are
nationwide and people can justgo to our website.
It's lumasearchcom L-U-M-A,which stands for Luxury Cash
Banking, and so, lumasearchcom,just fill out the profile form
and anyone can be in ourdatabase.
There's no charge for that,because we want a huge database
(46:08):
with lots of options to choosefrom when we're looking for the
right one for our clients.
But if you want to be proactive, you can opt to be a proactive
client as well.
So it's just, it's up to youand it depends on you how
particular you are.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
Oh really interesting , so you need to get in the
database at least I know forsure, I know I'm like maybe I'll
try that, why not?
Um so, yeah, so anybody canjust get into your database.
It can be like here's myprofile.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
They can submit their profile.
You can't see anyone else.
That's in the system, but youcan be at least part of it, so
the matchmakers can consider youas a match and you have a
profile.
You will update and submit yourphotos and everything.
So then when we're looking forsomebody, for someone with all
your information, like yourpreferences, if you're open to
(47:00):
dating someone out of state, ifyou have kids bought kids will
date somebody with kids all ofthose things that's important.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
Oh, I check it out, I'm just curious, all right.
Well, that is good to know.
So you're going to go checkthat out, folks, if you are
interested, or even just get inthe database, why would you not?
And then, of course, if you areready to be proactive and have
someone who has a process inmind that works, this is a great
(47:29):
option.
We all need love, right?
I think so.
Thank you for joining us.
And to listeners out there, youknow, if you're looking for a
coach in intimacy and your sexlife, you want a cheerleader, a
sidekick, if you will, a wingwoman.
My books are open.
You can find me atTalkSexWithAnettecom for more
information there.
(47:50):
Reach out to me at my email,annette, at TalkSexWithAnettecom
.
Thank you so much, april, forjoining me.
I appreciate it.
And to my listeners, I'll seeyou in the locker room.
Cheers.
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