April 21, 2025 • 17 mins
You don’t have to be “kinky” to completely blow her mind—you just need a little curiosity.
In this episode, I’m breaking down 5 beginner-friendly kinks that are: ✅ Easy to try
✅ Expert-approved
✅ And absolutely guaranteed to take your bedroom game from basic to bold
We’re talking praise kink, anal play (yes, for her and you), light restraint, power dynamics, and erotic punishment—all explained in a way that feels approachable, sexy, and real.
These are the kinks she secretly wants… but probably won’t ask for.
And I’m giving you the step-by-step breakdown, the science behind why they work, AND the tools to make it happen. 👇
You can find my spicy site here. https://talksexwithannette.com/talk-sex-with-me/
My spicy OF handle is @talksexwithannette
My free spicy handle is @annettetalkssex
Subscribe to my e-newsletter: https://she-explores-life.ck.page/e9760c390c
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My substack: https://talksexwithannette.substack.com/
Use code EXPLORES15 for 15% off all Womanizer Products at Womanizer.com.
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https://talksexwithannette.com/talk-sex-with-me/
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Cheers!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
do the sex.
Welcome to Masturbation Mondaywith me, annette Benedetti, your
host for Locker Room Talk andChats.
This is your invitation to joinme for coffee in bed and a
candid conversation about themasturbation practice I'm
developing to support my mental,physical and emotional health
and help manifest my dreams.
(00:20):
Masturbation Monday is a guideto self-pleasure, better sex and
using the power of the pussy toopen new doors to a better life
.
Today's topic is kinks.
For the normal guy.
These are fivebeginner-friendly ways to blow
(00:41):
her mind that you're going tolove too.
This episode is listener,requested, expert approved and
naughty.
But make it nice.
You know what I love?
I love it when men ask how theycan expand their sexual
repertoire so that they can bebetter, more adventurous lovers.
Not just how to last longer orwhat moves gets her off the
(01:04):
fastest, but how to actuallystep out of the conventional or
vanilla zone and into the wildworld of kink and pleasure,
without feeling like they needto sign a sex contract or
suddenly grow a man bun andstart calling women goddesses.
Not that there's anything wrongwith that.
You don't need to be kinky, youjust need to be curious.
(01:25):
This episode is for you.
My curious, very normal guy whoDM'd me and said that he was
ready to venture out of thecommon and into kinks for the
average Joe.
You are in the right placeToday.
I'm walking you through fivekinks that are beginner-friendly
, science-backed because shesecretly really really wants to
(01:47):
experience these and guaranteedto spice things up without
freaking you out.
These are kinks she wants totry but probably won't ask for.
Down of what it is a real myththat you probably believed.
Easy, low pressure ways to tryit, the stats and psychology
(02:13):
behind why it works.
And toy recommendations,because, well, I love tools for
pleasure.
And don't worry, if you aresubscribed to my e-newsletter or
my sub stack, then you will bereceiving a article that is full
of all of these toys and thediscounts go along with them.
And I'm going to take thisopportunity to remind you that I
am over on OnlyFans and there Iam sharing my sex how-tos and
demonstrations, also some audio,guided self-pleasure
(02:36):
meditations and so much more tohelp you start having better sex
tonight.
You can find me there by myhandle at TalkSexWithAnnette.
You can also find me onSubstack handle at talk sex with
annette.
You can also find me onsubstack at talk sex with
annette.
And, of course, scroll down tothe notes in this podcast
episode, where you will have allthe links to find me everywhere
you want to.
This episode doesn't requireleather pants, but it will
(03:00):
provide you with better orgasms.
So if you are ready to take yourbedroom game from basic to bold
, let's get ready to talk aboutsex Cheers.
Let's dive in with kink.
Number one for the curious butconventional guy, it's the
praise kink.
Let's ease into this withsomething you're probably
(03:21):
already halfway doing the praisekink.
One well-timed, good girl cando more than an hour of
thrusting.
So what is it?
It's using affirming, sexylanguage to turn your partner on
.
Not, you're pretty, but you'remaking me so hard right now.
Not good job, but you're such agood girl when you take me like
(03:45):
that, it's confident, it's hotand it builds serious connection
.
So the myth that goes alongwith this is praise is just
emotional fluff.
Nope, according to a 2021Kinsey Institute survey, 74% of
women said verbal affirmationduring sex increased their
(04:06):
arousal and orgasm intensity,especially when the tone was
dominant.
So how to try it?
Start during foreplay.
Say things like you're doing sogood for me, or I love watching
your body respond to me, or me,or I love watching your body
respond to me or no one else hasever gotten me this hard.
(04:29):
Sometimes little white lies areokay.
Then turn it up.
You take me so well.
Or look at you begging for moreDirty.
Talk isn't just about what yousay, it's about how you say it.
So what toy can you pair withthis?
(04:50):
To turn up the heat?
Try a satin blindfold and addin a little bit of sensory
deprivation.
She won't be able to see you,but she'll feel every word Kink.
Number two for the average Joeanal play for her or for you.
I know the thought of anal playmakes many normal guys sweaty,
(05:12):
and not in the good way.
But once we debunk the myths itbecomes a whole new world of
pleasure.
Look, you're not gay for likinganal, you're just built for it.
Anal play is a broad, broadtopic.
It consists of stimulating theanus or prostate using fingers,
(05:33):
a cock, toys or a tongue.
You can do it to her, she cando it to you.
Either way it can result inincredible orgasms.
There's so many myths aroundthis.
One, but maybe the most commonis if I like anal, it makes me
gay Wrong.
One, but maybe the most commonis if I like anal, it makes me
gay Wrong.
Sexual orientation is about whoyou're attracted to, not where
you like to be touched.
(05:53):
Another myth is women don'tenjoy.
Actually, one in three womenafford to enjoying anal play
when it's done with consent,communication and lots of lube.
So why it's hot?
The male G-spot, aka theprostate, is located just inside
the anus and when stimulated,the most intense orgasm of your
(06:16):
life well, it might be up there.
Anal play can cause stronger,longer, more full-bodied orgasms
.
For her, anal stimulationincreases pleasure on the
vaginal walls, the internalclitoris and the G-spot,
creating double the intensity.
So how do you get into it?
For her, start outside.
(06:36):
Use lots of lube, go slow andpair it with clit stimulation.
For you, try rooming externalmassage on the perineum or a
small plug.
So here are some toys you canpair with it.
For her, try the B-Vibe SnugPlug.
2.
For you, we're going to startwith the B-Vibe Novice Plug.
(06:58):
It's small and it's sexy.
Note I have done a full podcastepisode on anal play.
I'm going to link them belowand send them out in my
e-newsletters.
It's great for beginners.
It walks you through some ofthe basic starter things you can
try all the way to the wild andyou got to really be willing
(07:19):
stuff.
Kink number three for men whoare ready to go from dad mode to
dom is light restraint, akabondage.
If you've ever had the urge topin her wrists, you've already
had a taste of this one.
What is it?
It's bondage using handcuffs,rope or straps to restrict
movement and build anticipation.
(07:39):
It gives you control, slowsthings down and makes every
sensation feel electric.
When she can't't move, everytouch hits differently.
So what's a myth we need todebunk with this one?
Bondage is only for hardcorekinksters.
Nope, 58% of people whoidentify as vanilla say they
(08:01):
fantasize about being tied up.
This one's more common than youthink.
So how can you dip your toe inthe water with this one?
Start by using silky wristrestraints or an under the bed
restraint system.
Try verbal restraint Don't move, keep your hands above your
head.
Simple commands like that canevoke a strong reaction in both
(08:23):
of you.
Add in sensory play, blindfoldher, then slowly tease with
fingers, tongue or a vibe.
There are so many toys that youcan pair with this one, but for
starters, get an under the bedrestraint kit.
It's really cool because youcan leave it there, tuck the
restraints in and nobody willeven know that you've gone from
(08:45):
conventional to kinky will evenknow that you've gone from
conventional to kinky.
Want to level it up even more.
Get a tickler or a feather wandto add in some sensory play.
All right, kink.
Four for the normal guy.
Power dynamic play, with orwithout role play, ready to
explore control, but not quiteready for costumes and
characters?
Well, you don't have to be.
(09:06):
So what is it?
Power dynamic play is aboutwho's in control.
One person leads and the othersubmits.
Being dominant doesn't meanbeing a dick, it means being
decisive.
You can add role play boss,employee, teacher, student or
you can do it as yourselves,with commanding language and
(09:28):
energy.
So here are some myths that goalong with this one.
I need to be dramatic or goodat improv?
Nope, the hottest power playoften happens when you're just
being you, but more intentionaland more in control.
And look the stats back it up65% of women fantasize about
(09:48):
being dominated.
58% say they want their partnerto initiate more sexually.
That's a lot of women.
So how are you going to give ita try?
Let's start with no role play.
Take the lead Simply give hercommands.
Say, take off your clothes,take them off slowly.
(10:11):
Give her rules, say you're notallowed to come until I say
You're not allowed to touch methere, until I tell you, touch
me here, grab a hold of it,squeeze, use control words on
your knees, say please, now,thank you.
(10:35):
So how do you try it with roleplay?
Just tell her tonight I'm theboss, you're my secretary, use
your space, the desk, thekitchen, the doorway it all
becomes a stage.
So what kind of toys can youpair with this?
Start with something like afaux leather collar.
There are also role play promptcards that you can buy.
(10:58):
That can help you dip your toein the water.
Want to level it up and makeher really happy?
Buy her some costume lingerieso she can get in the mood and
play the part that you want herto play.
All right, kink number five.
Step into your daddy era.
No diapers, all dominance.
(11:19):
We're talking spank andpunishment.
This one's a classic, butthere's more to it than just a
slap on the ass.
Punishment doesn't have to hurt, it just has to build tension.
So what is it?
Spanking equals impact, play.
Punishment equals eroticcontrol.
(11:41):
It could be spanking or teasing, denial or rules she has to
follow.
So what is a myth that goesalong with this one?
A.
The most common is that it'sdegrading.
Nope, with consent and care,punishment can be incredibly
arousing.
Punishment can be incrediblyarousing, emotionally releasing
(12:02):
and even bonding.
And look the stats back it up57% of women enjoy being spanked
.
35% say that they've fantasizedabout erotic punishment Again.
That's a lot of women who wantto experience this.
So how do you dip your toe inthe water?
An easy way to start is bygiving her a spanking during
doggy style, or level it up withsome over the knee punishment.
(12:26):
You can also add rules If yousquirm again, I'll have to start
over.
Another great approach is tospank and then praise Good girl,
you took that so well, allright.
Non-spanking punishment optionsthere's orgasm denial for those
(12:48):
women who orgasm easily.
Give her a solid not.
Yet you can also do some edging.
Bring her close, then back offand repeat.
Add in restraints, tie her up,touch her everywhere except for
where she wants to be touched.
You can also use verbal control.
(13:09):
Tell her things like you haveto ask before you come.
There are so many toys you canpair with this one.
Get a mini paddle, a floggerFor the clip play.
Consider the Womanizer Premium2.
It provides that pleasure.
Air tech that is going to bringher close to that orgasm You're
(13:29):
going to deny her.
You can also level it up with abutt plug for some combo play.
All right, I've given you fivekinks for the normal guy, but
I'm going to give you some bonusmaterial here.
Your bonus is stack your kink,spank her, then praise her for
some punishment.
Plus praise, kink, tie her up,whisper how wet she is, then
(13:54):
role play.
You've got restraint, plusdirty talk and dom energy.
Try combining an anal plug plusrestraint and then praise,
throw in a spanking.
We're looking at triple orgasmterritory now.
You don't need more moves, youjust need more layers.
(14:16):
Look, kink doesn't have to beextreme, it just has to be
intentional.
You don't need more moves, youjust need more layers.
Look, kink doesn't have to beextreme, it just has to be
intentional.
You don't need whips orcontracts or leather pants
unless you want them.
You need curiosity,communication and a little
courage.
These five kinks they're notjust fun, they're effective.
They build anticipation, deepenconnection and take your sex
life from good to holy shit.
(14:38):
What just happened?
Try one, try two, combine a fewand look if you need a
cheerleader to support youthrough the process of trying
out these kinks, or you're justlooking for someone to help
guide you through and supportyou through your own pleasure or
sexual intimacy journey.
My books are open.
I am offering pleasure and sexand intimacy coaching.
(15:01):
You can find out more aboutthat when you go to my website
at TalkSexWithAnette.
Of course, I always love toreceive your questions and get
you the answers that you arelooking for.
So if you listen to thisepisode and anything comes up
for you, feel free to reach outto me.
You can, of course, drop acomment below this video on my
(15:23):
YouTube channel, which is atTalkSexWithAnnette.
You can DM me.
You can scroll down to the linkbelow and you're going to find
my speak pipe.
Send me a voice note.
Of course, you can always emailme at Annette at talk sex with
annettecom.
So until next time I'll seey'all in the locker room.
Good luck getting kinky cheers.
do the sex.
Welcome to Masturbation Mondaywith me, annette Benedetti, your
host for Locker Room Talk andChats.
This is your invitation to joinme for coffee in bed and a
candid conversation about themasturbation practice I'm
developing to support my mental,physical and emotional health
and help manifest my dreams.
(00:20):
Masturbation Monday is a guideto self-pleasure, better sex and
using the power of the pussy toopen new doors to a better life
.
Today's topic is kinks.
For the normal guy.
These are fivebeginner-friendly ways to blow
(00:41):
her mind that you're going tolove too.
This episode is listener,requested, expert approved and
naughty.
But make it nice.
You know what I love?
I love it when men ask how theycan expand their sexual
repertoire so that they can bebetter, more adventurous lovers.
Not just how to last longer orwhat moves gets her off the
(01:04):
fastest, but how to actuallystep out of the conventional or
vanilla zone and into the wildworld of kink and pleasure,
without feeling like they needto sign a sex contract or
suddenly grow a man bun andstart calling women goddesses.
Not that there's anything wrongwith that.
You don't need to be kinky, youjust need to be curious.
(01:25):
This episode is for you.
My curious, very normal guy whoDM'd me and said that he was
ready to venture out of thecommon and into kinks for the
average Joe.
You are in the right placeToday.
I'm walking you through fivekinks that are beginner-friendly
, science-backed because shesecretly really really wants to
(01:47):
experience these and guaranteedto spice things up without
freaking you out.
These are kinks she wants totry but probably won't ask for.
Down of what it is a real myththat you probably believed.
Easy, low pressure ways to tryit, the stats and psychology
(02:13):
behind why it works.
And toy recommendations,because, well, I love tools for
pleasure.
And don't worry, if you aresubscribed to my e-newsletter or
my sub stack, then you will bereceiving a article that is full
of all of these toys and thediscounts go along with them.
And I'm going to take thisopportunity to remind you that I
am over on OnlyFans and there Iam sharing my sex how-tos and
demonstrations, also some audio,guided self-pleasure
(02:36):
meditations and so much more tohelp you start having better sex
tonight.
You can find me there by myhandle at TalkSexWithAnnette.
You can also find me onSubstack handle at talk sex with
annette.
You can also find me onsubstack at talk sex with
annette.
And, of course, scroll down tothe notes in this podcast
episode, where you will have allthe links to find me everywhere
you want to.
This episode doesn't requireleather pants, but it will
(03:00):
provide you with better orgasms.
So if you are ready to take yourbedroom game from basic to bold
, let's get ready to talk aboutsex Cheers.
Let's dive in with kink.
Number one for the curious butconventional guy, it's the
praise kink.
Let's ease into this withsomething you're probably
(03:21):
already halfway doing the praisekink.
One well-timed, good girl cando more than an hour of
thrusting.
So what is it?
It's using affirming, sexylanguage to turn your partner on
.
Not, you're pretty, but you'remaking me so hard right now.
Not good job, but you're such agood girl when you take me like
(03:45):
that, it's confident, it's hotand it builds serious connection
.
So the myth that goes alongwith this is praise is just
emotional fluff.
Nope, according to a 2021Kinsey Institute survey, 74% of
women said verbal affirmationduring sex increased their
(04:06):
arousal and orgasm intensity,especially when the tone was
dominant.
So how to try it?
Start during foreplay.
Say things like you're doing sogood for me, or I love watching
your body respond to me, or me,or I love watching your body
respond to me or no one else hasever gotten me this hard.
(04:29):
Sometimes little white lies areokay.
Then turn it up.
You take me so well.
Or look at you begging for moreDirty.
Talk isn't just about what yousay, it's about how you say it.
So what toy can you pair withthis?
(04:50):
To turn up the heat?
Try a satin blindfold and addin a little bit of sensory
deprivation.
She won't be able to see you,but she'll feel every word Kink.
Number two for the average Joeanal play for her or for you.
I know the thought of anal playmakes many normal guys sweaty,
(05:12):
and not in the good way.
But once we debunk the myths itbecomes a whole new world of
pleasure.
Look, you're not gay for likinganal, you're just built for it.
Anal play is a broad, broadtopic.
It consists of stimulating theanus or prostate using fingers,
(05:33):
a cock, toys or a tongue.
You can do it to her, she cando it to you.
Either way it can result inincredible orgasms.
There's so many myths aroundthis.
One, but maybe the most commonis if I like anal, it makes me
gay Wrong.
One, but maybe the most commonis if I like anal, it makes me
gay Wrong.
Sexual orientation is about whoyou're attracted to, not where
you like to be touched.
(05:53):
Another myth is women don'tenjoy.
Actually, one in three womenafford to enjoying anal play
when it's done with consent,communication and lots of lube.
So why it's hot?
The male G-spot, aka theprostate, is located just inside
the anus and when stimulated,the most intense orgasm of your
(06:16):
life well, it might be up there.
Anal play can cause stronger,longer, more full-bodied orgasms
.
For her, anal stimulationincreases pleasure on the
vaginal walls, the internalclitoris and the G-spot,
creating double the intensity.
So how do you get into it?
For her, start outside.
(06:36):
Use lots of lube, go slow andpair it with clit stimulation.
For you, try rooming externalmassage on the perineum or a
small plug.
So here are some toys you canpair with it.
For her, try the B-Vibe SnugPlug.
2.
For you, we're going to startwith the B-Vibe Novice Plug.
(06:58):
It's small and it's sexy.
Note I have done a full podcastepisode on anal play.
I'm going to link them belowand send them out in my
e-newsletters.
It's great for beginners.
It walks you through some ofthe basic starter things you can
try all the way to the wild andyou got to really be willing
(07:19):
stuff.
Kink number three for men whoare ready to go from dad mode to
dom is light restraint, akabondage.
If you've ever had the urge topin her wrists, you've already
had a taste of this one.
What is it?
It's bondage using handcuffs,rope or straps to restrict
movement and build anticipation.
(07:39):
It gives you control, slowsthings down and makes every
sensation feel electric.
When she can't't move, everytouch hits differently.
So what's a myth we need todebunk with this one?
Bondage is only for hardcorekinksters.
Nope, 58% of people whoidentify as vanilla say they
(08:01):
fantasize about being tied up.
This one's more common than youthink.
So how can you dip your toe inthe water with this one?
Start by using silky wristrestraints or an under the bed
restraint system.
Try verbal restraint Don't move, keep your hands above your
head.
Simple commands like that canevoke a strong reaction in both
(08:23):
of you.
Add in sensory play, blindfoldher, then slowly tease with
fingers, tongue or a vibe.
There are so many toys that youcan pair with this one, but for
starters, get an under the bedrestraint kit.
It's really cool because youcan leave it there, tuck the
restraints in and nobody willeven know that you've gone from
(08:45):
conventional to kinky will evenknow that you've gone from
conventional to kinky.
Want to level it up even more.
Get a tickler or a feather wandto add in some sensory play.
All right, kink.
Four for the normal guy.
Power dynamic play, with orwithout role play, ready to
explore control, but not quiteready for costumes and
characters?
Well, you don't have to be.
(09:06):
So what is it?
Power dynamic play is aboutwho's in control.
One person leads and the othersubmits.
Being dominant doesn't meanbeing a dick, it means being
decisive.
You can add role play boss,employee, teacher, student or
you can do it as yourselves,with commanding language and
(09:28):
energy.
So here are some myths that goalong with this one.
I need to be dramatic or goodat improv?
Nope, the hottest power playoften happens when you're just
being you, but more intentionaland more in control.
And look the stats back it up65% of women fantasize about
(09:48):
being dominated.
58% say they want their partnerto initiate more sexually.
That's a lot of women.
So how are you going to give ita try?
Let's start with no role play.
Take the lead Simply give hercommands.
Say, take off your clothes,take them off slowly.
(10:11):
Give her rules, say you're notallowed to come until I say
You're not allowed to touch methere, until I tell you, touch
me here, grab a hold of it,squeeze, use control words on
your knees, say please, now,thank you.
(10:35):
So how do you try it with roleplay?
Just tell her tonight I'm theboss, you're my secretary, use
your space, the desk, thekitchen, the doorway it all
becomes a stage.
So what kind of toys can youpair with this?
Start with something like afaux leather collar.
There are also role play promptcards that you can buy.
(10:58):
That can help you dip your toein the water.
Want to level it up and makeher really happy?
Buy her some costume lingerieso she can get in the mood and
play the part that you want herto play.
All right, kink number five.
Step into your daddy era.
No diapers, all dominance.
(11:19):
We're talking spank andpunishment.
This one's a classic, butthere's more to it than just a
slap on the ass.
Punishment doesn't have to hurt, it just has to build tension.
So what is it?
Spanking equals impact, play.
Punishment equals eroticcontrol.
(11:41):
It could be spanking or teasing, denial or rules she has to
follow.
So what is a myth that goesalong with this one?
A.
The most common is that it'sdegrading.
Nope, with consent and care,punishment can be incredibly
arousing.
Punishment can be incrediblyarousing, emotionally releasing
(12:02):
and even bonding.
And look the stats back it up57% of women enjoy being spanked
.
35% say that they've fantasizedabout erotic punishment Again.
That's a lot of women who wantto experience this.
So how do you dip your toe inthe water?
An easy way to start is bygiving her a spanking during
doggy style, or level it up withsome over the knee punishment.
(12:26):
You can also add rules If yousquirm again, I'll have to start
over.
Another great approach is tospank and then praise Good girl,
you took that so well, allright.
Non-spanking punishment optionsthere's orgasm denial for those
(12:48):
women who orgasm easily.
Give her a solid not.
Yet you can also do some edging.
Bring her close, then back offand repeat.
Add in restraints, tie her up,touch her everywhere except for
where she wants to be touched.
You can also use verbal control.
(13:09):
Tell her things like you haveto ask before you come.
There are so many toys you canpair with this one.
Get a mini paddle, a floggerFor the clip play.
Consider the Womanizer Premium2.
It provides that pleasure.
Air tech that is going to bringher close to that orgasm You're
(13:29):
going to deny her.
You can also level it up with abutt plug for some combo play.
All right, I've given you fivekinks for the normal guy, but
I'm going to give you some bonusmaterial here.
Your bonus is stack your kink,spank her, then praise her for
some punishment.
Plus praise, kink, tie her up,whisper how wet she is, then
(13:54):
role play.
You've got restraint, plusdirty talk and dom energy.
Try combining an anal plug plusrestraint and then praise,
throw in a spanking.
We're looking at triple orgasmterritory now.
You don't need more moves, youjust need more layers.
(14:16):
Look, kink doesn't have to beextreme, it just has to be
intentional.
You don't need more moves, youjust need more layers.
Look, kink doesn't have to beextreme, it just has to be
intentional.
You don't need whips orcontracts or leather pants
unless you want them.
You need curiosity,communication and a little
courage.
These five kinks they're notjust fun, they're effective.
They build anticipation, deepenconnection and take your sex
life from good to holy shit.
(14:38):
What just happened?
Try one, try two, combine a fewand look if you need a
cheerleader to support youthrough the process of trying
out these kinks, or you're justlooking for someone to help
guide you through and supportyou through your own pleasure or
sexual intimacy journey.
My books are open.
I am offering pleasure and sexand intimacy coaching.
(15:01):
You can find out more aboutthat when you go to my website
at TalkSexWithAnette.
Of course, I always love toreceive your questions and get
you the answers that you arelooking for.
So if you listen to thisepisode and anything comes up
for you, feel free to reach outto me.
You can, of course, drop acomment below this video on my
(15:23):
YouTube channel, which is atTalkSexWithAnnette.
You can DM me.
You can scroll down to the linkbelow and you're going to find
my speak pipe.
Send me a voice note.
Of course, you can always emailme at Annette at talk sex with
annettecom.
So until next time I'll seey'all in the locker room.
Good luck getting kinky cheers.
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