S10E10 - From Divorce on Zoom to a Mic and a Movement: How She Turned Healing into Culture, Growth & Community <Part-1>!! - Talk Shit With P

Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_05 (00:00):
It's the unofficial official takeover of talk shit
with P.
It's your girl.
Holy talking.
Talking shit with P.
I love talking.

(00:21):
Talking shit.
Just shit.
It happens to be a special PMI.
So it's a good time.
No shit was missed.
Drinks was drinked.
Drunk.
Drinked.
Drinked.
And um everybody's winning.

(00:43):
Feel me?
I'm just talking to theaudience.

SPEAKER_04 (00:48):
It's my first day, night.

SPEAKER_06 (01:01):
Okay.

(01:24):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (01:26):
Can I have my glasses?
They're puppy with it.

SPEAKER_05 (01:29):
Oh, I love it.
Yes.
It's just coming in hot, youknow?
Future's so bright, you gottawear shades.
I'm blind to you.

SPEAKER_00 (01:37):
Haders.

SPEAKER_05 (01:39):
Right.

SPEAKER_00 (01:40):
Yes.
Good way, no high.
Hey, hey, hey! Hello, talkingwith P.

SPEAKER_05 (01:50):
Talking big shit.
I'm ready.
I got my shades on because hewas just bright, blinding me.

SPEAKER_02 (01:56):
Today's been a day, y'all.
Um I recorded with thatincredible Mark.
And then me, Mac, and Carla gotto have lunch together.
I'm trying to do those morethings.
And I I and I wanna shout outWalter because Hey Walter.
He The Great Walt.
The Great Walt.
Um he brought this idea of let'sget back to just meeting people

(02:20):
and hanging out without just itbeing an event or a planned.
Like, to be, I feel like we areso constant that whenever we
meet, it has to be a podcastmeetup or podcast conference or
event or whatever.
So um last week he invited me topop warm, and I told him never
to do that again because I don'tlike healthy.

(02:41):
And if you're gonna invite me toa place, at least make sure they
have alcohol.
I'm sorry.
I literally but the highlightwas meeting Hannah.
Hi Hannah.
Uh and me and Tamara went acrossthe street while they they were
eating their healthy shit to thebar and we were drinking, and
then we caught up with themafter their lunch and after a
few bars.
Good thing they allowed me to.

(03:02):
It was an open container square.
Still, I was walking around withmy beer and we hanged out and
they walked with me until to mynext place.
Like it was just it was justnice not being an event or
anything.
Okay, I'm rambling now.
Anyways, here we are.
Season 10.
We're loving it.

(03:23):
When is your anniversary?

SPEAKER_05 (03:25):
November 19th.
Drop it on my anniversary.
Yeah.
Drop it on her, drop it on her,drop it on her, drop it on.
I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 (03:35):
Drop it out, drop it out, drop it out.

SPEAKER_02 (03:39):
It's anniversary, man.
So we're gonna jump into that.
Since this episode is gonna comelike a week before your episode,
your your anniversary.
So uh we're gonna shift this alittle bit around.
Let's just jump straight intothat.
Um how many years are youcelebrating and what does this

(04:00):
anniversary, this particularanniversary, mean to you apart
from me?
Now you met the gorgeous me, ofcourse.

SPEAKER_05 (04:06):
Yeah, that's a game changer.
I got you.
I got no, this I love theorganic nature.
I love that I get to be herewith you.
You're six.
Six years.
I am just a few weeks short ofsix years being officially uh in

(04:29):
population.
That's big.
That's really big.
Cheers to that.
We're gonna be toasting quite abit on this here.

SPEAKER_00 (04:39):
Six years.

SPEAKER_01 (04:44):
What is six years of you doing this means to you?
What does this university meanto you?

SPEAKER_05 (04:52):
Oh, Ng, it means it means growth, it means scale,
um, it means gratitude forhaving been able to do anything
for this long.
I've never done anything for sixyears.
I've never met me like what?

SPEAKER_00 (05:10):
What's the shortest what's the longest shift you've
ever done?

SPEAKER_05 (05:16):
I would say so.
In my former life, I was a truckdriver and I did do that for
about six-ish years, but not sixconsecutive years back to back.

SPEAKER_01 (05:26):
Like one and all.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (05:28):
I mean, outside of that, I got kids, and and you
know, I've been taking care ofthem for more than six years
because the oldest is 19, thenwe got 13 and 11.

SPEAKER_00 (05:37):
Wait, you have a 19 year old?

SPEAKER_05 (05:39):
Chow.
I know I don't look at, butindeed she does.
Okay.
Yes.

SPEAKER_02 (05:46):
Um, so speaking about that, you you say this
being your longest, right?
Now, because I'm just nausy andbecause we're on top, she would
be so I'm ready.
What what has been your longestrelationship?

SPEAKER_00 (05:58):
Oh, we're talking shit like you're the one who
said you've never done somethingthis if you wouldn't have put it
up, I wouldn't have liked toquestion it.

SPEAKER_05 (06:08):
Yeah, my longest relationship was my marriage.
I was married for about eightyears, I want to say.
And let's just say eight,because I don't feel like doing
math.
Yeah.
It happened.
It's done though.
I got divorced on Zoom.
That's my favorite.

SPEAKER_02 (06:26):
Was it in coffee?

SPEAKER_05 (06:27):
It was.

SPEAKER_02 (06:28):
I mean, at least you're not those people who are
married at Zoom.
I feel like divorced on Zoom ismuch better.
Like, I don't even want to seemy nigga, like, tell me what
don't say to the girls that havebeen married on Zoom.

SPEAKER_05 (06:41):
Congratulations on your notch.
Do whatever makes you askwhatever tears to you and and
that person that you uh then iteloped.
Is that eloping?

SPEAKER_00 (06:52):
No, that's just making it happen.

SPEAKER_02 (06:54):
No, I feel like eloping is you choosing, but
when it's happening because youhave no option, it's not a
lobby.
Because if I decide today towake up and be like I'm pulling
everybody on Zoom and doing it,that's me a lobby.
Or I'm put I'm going to thecourthouse.
But then if circumstances aremaking you do that, it was not
your first choice.

(07:15):
But circumstances, it'stechnically not a lot thing.

SPEAKER_05 (07:18):
Okay.
Well, I was divorced on Zoom,and um I actually that took
place after I had gotten intothe podcast, but the
relationship ended right beforeI launched my podcast for real,
like less than 30 days before.
So that was very helpful for mein being able to change my

(07:41):
energy expenditure.
So now it's instead of me beingfocused on being a wife, I could
take the wife's energy into thepodcast.
And so that's what I did.

SPEAKER_02 (07:54):
I love that.
Um you replaced the husband ofthe podcast, the making space
for that podcast.
Yeah, you thought together realbad.
So I'm curious, right?
Uh, when you divorce on Zoom, doyou have like a lawyer presence
for the signing?

SPEAKER_05 (08:12):
Yes, they were at the courthouse.
They were in one state, and Iwas not able to make it to that
state.
So I was just like, you know,everybody's doing everything on
Zoom, so let's just get thisover with.
Literally, literally.

SPEAKER_02 (08:25):
This is um random and out there's little state,
but you remember that guy whohad a traffic uh ticket or
whatever, and he had to appearon court via Zoom in the sky,
and then he his license wassuspended, but he was traffic,
and he was attacking.

SPEAKER_05 (08:48):
Like the one lady, she was like smoking a butt or
something, and she was trying todo like this, like legit.
Like we like like y'all look aty'all looking at me, y'all the
judge, and then here she goeslike this.
You could tell I'm smoking, youcan still smoke.
I wish we were smoking rightnow, in fact, but I digress.

SPEAKER_02 (09:07):
People were doing, I feel like the only part I miss
about COVID is seeing this watchyour shit backfire because
people were not really mostpeople are not used about used
to doing things online becausewe are used to just being on the
phone so nobody seeing shit,right?
Where people would get up andthey have boxes they forgot

(09:28):
because they are just people arestill got a porn tab open, just
doing but that guy, I'm like youhave one job, just stay on park,
get the judge to whatever, andgo on.
Now you're going all the way tojail.

SPEAKER_05 (09:45):
Even then in the car, like I don't even want the
judge to know that I have accessto a car that I can drive.
Are you crazy?
He deserved whatever he got.
That was dumb, sir.

SPEAKER_02 (09:56):
If you're watching this, now I need to go and find
out what happened because Idon't think we have paid
attention.
I know, right?
Because when life went back tonormal, what is it really been
normal?

SPEAKER_04 (10:09):
Because every day something I feel like nothing
has been normal since 2020.

SPEAKER_05 (10:16):
No, it wasn't even really normal then, but now it's
just like I don't know what thisis, but it ain't normal.

SPEAKER_02 (10:21):
2020 are walking a lot of shit, and I feel like
maybe we need it.
We need um you need to wash awayall your sins and rebonds.
Yeah, like of course the wholeplanet is going through a speech
of cleanse, cleanse was the one.
I mean, we when we're talkingabout cleansing, we're also
talking about gross, rebranding,pivoting, because when you're
cleansing yourself, you areagain, as I say, either you're

(10:44):
seeing the person who you are,and then you're realizing this
is not the person who I wannabe, so I'm gonna make changes,
I'm gonna uh pivot, I'm gonnaredirect, because again,
depending on the informationalthe journey you are in, right?
Right.
So with you uh and Black in theGarden uh and six years coming
up, I know uh from since I metyou, we have spoken on different

(11:09):
ideas that you've you've broughtto me and uh different
connections you are looking tomake and uh the changes that
you're making.
Um how do you how do you seethis the past six years of life
in garden have been and what doyou like what growth has come up

(11:33):
of it for you as an individual,not for your podcast, not for
you, but you as a person?

SPEAKER_05 (11:40):
Oh, what growth?
This is a great question, askingme, who is you know, the plant
lady, the the black in thegarden uh plant podcast lady who
just you know is very concernedabout the blacks getting getting
in the soil.
So as far as my growth, we comefrom the soil.

(12:00):
It's like it's hard for me totalk about my growth without
talking about what how my workhas influenced my growth.
Um, because learning as much asI've learned over the past six
years, uh, let's sayentrepreneurship for one, I
didn't realize that startingthis show would get me more

(12:22):
aligned with entrepreneurship.
And the thing that I learnedquickly about entrepreneurship,
come on now.
The thing I learned quicklyabout entrepreneurship is it's
it's a personal slashprofessional development
journey.
Um if you go to school for it,which I did not, then I can

(12:43):
imagine it is an experiencewhere, you know, you're applying
the things that you've learned.
But if you didn't go to schoolfor it, and you don't come from
a family culture that is, youknow, entrepreneurial, then you
are really just figuring thingsout for yourself.
And it's uh it's been quite ajourney.
So what I can say about mygrowth, having said all of that,

(13:06):
is that it has been rapid, ithas been expansive, it has been
consistent.
I am still growing.
There have been times over thepast couple years where I'm
like, I can feel growth.
And I'm talking about like thispersonal development, spiritual
type of growth is what I'mfeeling.

(13:29):
And it is very exciting, but itis also it can be frustrating.
I uh I have felt crazy a lot.
You know, the more that I get tounderstand certain things about
myself, like most recently, um,having a touch of what I call
like neurospiciness, a littleneurodivergence, just a

(13:50):
combination of a few letters,maybe like A D H D.
But yeah, child, the growth, themore things that I learned
specifically about myself, thebetter I understand myself.
Because in learning more aboutneurodivergence through the lens

(14:10):
of, well, maybe you got a littlebit of it, girl.
How how is this how can you withthat understanding understand so
much more about not justyourself, but how you're
operating in the world and andhow you're operating in
relationships?
It has been a game changer forme.
So yeah, the growth has beenit's been very real.

SPEAKER_02 (14:34):
I love that.
And you're so right.
I as a person who advocates formental health and talk a lot
about mental health, I've taughtpeople that reality with mental
health is just that it takes aspecific event or moment or time
issue for it to actually comeout.
You might think you don't havemental issues until you end up

(14:55):
doing something you you younever thought or whatever, or be
in a space you never, and thennext thing you know, you're
getting panic attacks orwhatever.
You know, it comes out at a timewhen it really is, and that's
why I say we all have mentalstruggles.
Some are just waiting for themto come out.
But also speaking of uh ofgrowth and entrepreneurship,
that's how I feel about uh aboutuh my podcast.

(15:19):
Um growing up, I always knew Iwanted to work in events, I
didn't care about owning my ownshit, but I was very big about
owning a t-shirt line because Iloved t-shirts, I loved weird
t-shirts, and most of the timewhen you see me out, I'm wearing
t-shirts.
Like if I'm actually wearing aunless I'm wearing a dress or
something like that, I startedto sleep soon.

(15:40):
We love to rip some, but um, I'malways on t-shirt, like my
closet, I have a whole stuckdown there that is just
t-shirts.
Uh I've always been a t-shirtgirl, but um, when I started my
podcast, I didn't it was just aboredom thing during COVID,
right?
Something to help me with mymental health, and and now uh

(16:00):
that's why when sometimes peopleask me, Are you making money
from your podcast?
I'm like, no, but it's more thanmoney, like the opportunities,
the people, the strength andgrowth in myself.
I don't think I would havegotten it if I'd have continued
being in retail or actually didevents and just being a
corporate ladder because I neverthought about owning my own

(16:23):
business, gettingentrepreneurship.
That shit is hard.
I don't know why people keeptelling people you should be
your onboard.
Like uh the the freedom of it isamazing.
But uh making sure you you get acheck and money, that's a whole
other thing.
But you really uh and I didn'tknow again, um, I come from a

(16:45):
world just uh I do have peoplein the entrepreneurship world,
but it wasn't like the firstthing.
My parents didn't care what wedid as long as we did something
which I paid for and we went toschool as long as we go to
school and get the F out of thehouse.
Like um and some of us are luckyto have that where we can still
go back home.

(17:06):
You're lucky if you can still goback to fine going.
So if you do have that, I'm notsaying go back home, but I'm
saying you should be feelingprivileged if you can.
Because I was talking to a ladygrateful.
I met in TRX, and um, the reasonshe was able to grow a TikTok
and now she makes a lot of moneyis because she moved back home
in a parish that will supportyou for a near if this doesn't

(17:27):
work for a near.
And that gave her enough time toreally be like, okay, if I'm not
worrying about anything, I cangrind and make it now.
She makes almost five, six, two,whatever a month on TikTok.
So for those who have that biglag, but um, all to say is the
growth that I've seen to be ableto speak on stages.
I'm sure I hated doingpresentations in school.

(17:50):
Now I imagine of speaking onstages where people are
listening to the meeting.
They should be alright.
You know, and and also um, shoutout to Dominic Lawson.
Um, he said something to meafter that panel because he has
seen me uh moderate.
My first panel I moderated wasin afros and our years, I not

(18:10):
last year, the year before.
Because last year I was in apanel I didn't moderate, but the
year before, which was my firstafros, and my teammates who
didn't even know me, we weremeeting on Zoom, we met twice on
Zoom to plan it, had fullenergy, like you can moderate,
go ahead.
And so Dominic was in the firstseat in that, and to see me also

(18:32):
in Pierre X was like, Yourpolar.
I see the growth from there tonow, and to hear somebody,
because sometimes we don't seeour own growth.
And I think that's why it's goodto be in these communities and
going to these conferencesbecause the people who are
watching you, who met you,probably saw you last day at
this conference, and now they'reseeing you and they've been

(18:54):
following you.
They'll be quick to tell you,I've been following you, doing
amazing.

SPEAKER_00 (18:58):
Because sometimes when you are in that house,
because things are not makingsense or moving, you don't feel
it like I'm still behind yes.

SPEAKER_05 (19:07):
I deal with that pretty much every day.
And that is a big part of thereason why I am so keen to make
sure that I'm plugged into andactively engaged in community,
especially the podcastcommunity.
It's a very supportivecommunity.
Um, and I the the alternative isisolation, um, you know, outside

(19:28):
of like having friends andhaving supportive people.
But um that has been veryimportant to my growth because
like I doing having, I'll put itlike this having the standards
that I have means that when I'vedone something, when it's done,

(19:49):
I am so done with it.
And it's not something that I'mconsidering is like, oh, that
was amazing.
It's very much like what am Idoing next?
Not like how do I do better, butjust what am I doing next.

SPEAKER_00 (20:04):
And I keep moving forward.

SPEAKER_05 (20:06):
It's just it's not, and it's not coming from a place
of where I'm like, I gotta outdomyself or I gotta do outdo
anybody else.
I don't operate in a way that iscompetitive, but it is just very
much me being um, I use thisterm, I think I came up with
this term hyper creative.
I always want to be making someshit up.
I'm always trying to dosomething like I ever I come up

(20:29):
with ideas very quickly, veryeasily.
And so when I say I'm just readyto get to the next thing, it's
because there are so many ideasthat I want, they're like
bubbles.
And and I know you can you'lllove this analogy.
Bubbles in the champagne glass.
All the bubbles want to come tothe top.
They all want to come to thetop, and and that's how my ideas

(20:52):
feel.
And so once one bubble gets tothe top, the other bubbles are
like, hey, when do we get tocome to the top?
So that's why I feel overwhelmeda lot, and I I gotta work on
that, to be honest, you know, inreal time.
That's that's something I gottawork on.
It's like it's never enough.

SPEAKER_02 (21:10):
And I feel you, because I'm like you, and that's
why I also I feel like mybiggest shit is I watch a lot of
trash TV, and when I watch trashTV, a lot of people laugh at me,
but it's really research.
Oh because you will hear thewomen, either the things they're
fighting about, acting, or theconversations they're having, or

(21:30):
the parties they're throwing, itwill give me ideas myself, like
this is a conversation I shouldhave with my girlfriend.
This is a conversation I shouldbring this this person and we do
a live.
Oh my god, I should throw thistype of event to be like so I
get, and then all these ideasare coming, and then now I'm
like I start getting out like,and that's why I also watch them
when I'm depressed.

(21:50):
It it builds up my creativitybecause next thing you know, I'm
getting out of my bed, buildinga notebook, and I'm and I'm
reaching out to people, yo, areyou free this weekend?
We should talk about, we shouldgo online and have this
conversation.

SPEAKER_05 (22:04):
I'm gonna tell you how I feel about Trash TV, but I
want you for this weekend.

SPEAKER_02 (22:08):
Yeah, so from that, I end up coming with so many
ideas.
And Joe one time told me I waslike, it's good to always have
an idea, ideas, but if you'reconstantly doing things and
you're not letting them marinateand grow, you're just gonna be
that person who's just doingshit.
So you strategy.
Yeah, he was like, Paula, youare a person who deals with

(22:28):
people and whatever, you can dowhatever you want.
But bring these ideas, writethem down, see how they connect
each other, then from the oneside, really connect, pick
those, and then let the otherones grow through that.
That way you are building andinstead of just when I'm gonna.

(22:51):
And then episode two, we talkedabout it on episode two because
um he was talking about me thatin Chicago earlier, and he told
me that I was like, you knowwhat?
It does make sense because Ihave all this stuff I'm doing,
but now instead of making themseparate, build it under one
house.
Yes.
And that's why talk share withP, I say, we are going, we are

(23:14):
being done for now, but notforever.
We are taking a break.
Taking a break to figure out howto make it for the next of 2026,
because we're we're gonna bebuilding rapshire with P.
That way, when Talkshire with Pcomes back, it caught I have
figured out how to bringRaphship with P in, and then we
continue building the brut thethe roof.

SPEAKER_04 (23:34):
Yeah.
So I like that.

SPEAKER_05 (23:36):
So I didn't forget about the trash TV, but to that
point, I will say, because Ihave so many ideas, and
sometimes they don't seem to berelated to what I already have
in motion, I take my time tofind a way to plug it into
what's already happening.
So what's happened over thispast year and change with the

(23:57):
Black Kim and Garden podcast hasbeen exploring some really fun
subject matters, some funtopics.
One of the episodes that we didthat I'm particularly proud of
was single plant parents.
And single plant parents, I knewwhen I started thinking about
how to promote the episode thatit should be an event.

(24:19):
So we just recently just hadthat event.

SPEAKER_02 (24:23):
And I loved it because I was watching the
stories, and now it was like youkind of feel like a like you are
going for a date, like a dating,but you know, like, oh, I'm
sick, I'm looking for a parent,it's like a co-parent.
Like it was just branding.

SPEAKER_00 (24:40):
Yes, and um shout out to Hannah and Holder for
sure enough for that.

SPEAKER_02 (24:46):
We did tell them last year on Wednesday.
It doesn't matter.
They do.
Yeah, yeah.
And that's one of the the thingsI love about you as well.
From when I met you, everythingyou show up, which uh I want to
get into that, but before we getinto that, I want you to finish
your thought on on that, on yourplot-based, and then you're
attracted because we're gonnawell that was that was primarily

(25:11):
it.

SPEAKER_05 (25:11):
It was just knowing that when I have all these
ideas, the best that I can dofor now while I'm still
operating out of a very specificniche, which is at the
intersection of black cultureand horticulture.
Anything having to do withplants and black people and
nature, or however I can makethat work, um, that is how I'm
making the things make sense tothe niche that I'm currently

(25:34):
serving.
But I go by Cola B talking, andthat was always intentional
because I knew from way backwhen I was in college and I was
trying to figure out like how amI not gonna fuck out?
I had to turn determine what isyour top skill set?
What are you the best at thatyou feel the most natural at and
that you know that you're goodat, and that you can also say

(25:58):
that other people can see ittoo.
And that was talking.
It was just the ability tocommunicate well and
effectively.
So there's that.
But as far as the trash TV goes,world, I don't watch anything
passively either.
So I appreciate you that you'resaying that you're watching
anything that most people wouldassociate specifically with

(26:19):
entertainment, they would justwatch it and they would just be
mindlessly entertained, which iswhat I do, and that's the point
that I'm gonna get to.
But what I tell my kids all thetime is when I'm watching TV,
documentaries, TV shows,whatever type of TV programming
or even movies that it may be,I'm not watching passively

(26:40):
because I'm always categorizinginformation.
So anything that I'm picking upon, um, I like watching shows
where there's like a differentculture outside of mine that's
represented because then I'mable to get a little better of a
worldview, stuff like that.
I like watching documentariesbecause, you know, that's
basically kind of like a it'slike a it's like a picture book.

(27:03):
Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, because like I likeinformation in books, don't
always want to read, but thatdoesn't mean I don't like
reading.
But my point being, what thefirst thing I thought of when
you said trash TV is for mymental health, what I've
realized very recently isbecause I'm constantly making
decisions as an entrepreneur whois also a content creator, and I

(27:28):
know that term is a little ohGod, don't I wear a lot of hats
that are like very big hats.

SPEAKER_02 (27:34):
I think decisions come from being a monk because
you are taking care of humansand then everything and then
everything flows after that.

SPEAKER_05 (27:42):
It's a big responsibility, and it's so big
that I can't really afford tohave the weight of that always
be like felt on me.
But that goes to the point thatI was gonna make, which is very
simple.
Sometimes I need trash TV justto zone out.
I remember because like when I'msitting down or when I get in my
bed after hours and I'm tryingto determine how do I unwind?

(28:06):
How do I I always want to learn?
Like, I always want to learn.
I always YouTube is my favorite.
I watch YouTube more than Iwatch Netflix or Hulu.
I truly do, because I like theway that information is more
organic there.
I like the way that theinformation is very niche.
You can find very specificthings, you can find things that

(28:26):
can help you in yourself-discovery, in your, you
know, your learning.
There's a lot of documentaries.
I'm not gonna try to shout outtoo many people, but I do want
to shout out intellectual withan ex because she is
outstanding.
She was recently named as uhTime Creator of the Year.
Um, and she is a black woman whoemphasizes black lady stuff,

(28:48):
especially history, through thelens of black womanhood.
So I want to give a big shoutout to her, but her content is
so information rich.
I would watch her all day, likefor real.
But I can't be trying to learnall the time.
So I realized, oh, I need trash,I need mindless TV.

(29:11):
And that's how I came to theconclusion that trash TV is
helpful for that.
It's kind of a little bit ofescapism.
And so I if I'm on YouTube, I'mgonna be trying to learn
something or trying to listen tosome music.
So I have to go off of YouTube.
And what I have been well, Ikeep up with comedy podcasts.
So I love the read that was veryinfluential to starting my

(29:34):
podcast.

SPEAKER_02 (29:35):
I want the read, it's the only podcast.
I have what I have the socks.
I went you got the socks too.
I have the socks, I have thedo-rag, I have the bonnet, I
have several shirts.
And and and and I listen if youwatch my stories right now, uh
huh.
I I just posted you know thisthing will come up with it.
I know.
I'm sorry, but um, maybe I willrepost it when this comes up.

(29:57):
But I literally let me show yousince you're here.
Let's look at it.
Let me show you something.
So I was dressed this way.
This was 2017 October 4th.
And of course, the hair.

SPEAKER_04 (30:10):
You went to their last show?
Is that 2017?
It was the 2017.
OMG.

SPEAKER_05 (30:20):
No, I gotta show you because I've been to their last
two shows.

SPEAKER_02 (30:23):
In case I might not be able to Are we going in
February?

SPEAKER_05 (30:26):
They're coming to Antifeboy.
No, they always do ananniversary show in February.
Where?
In New York.
I've been going the last twoyears.

SPEAKER_04 (30:34):
Oh, very good.

SPEAKER_05 (30:36):
So shout out to the OGs three, you know, in in the
category of Black Urban Podcast.
They definitely uh have beenpioneers.
But I'm just saying all that tosay that I know when I'm trying
to figure out, okay, what is theTV that is, or not the TV, but
like the entertainment that isgoing to allow me to actually

(31:00):
turn my brain off a little bit.
It is comedy.
You know, just joy.
Because sometimes we just needto have a good time just for the
sake of having a good time.
But I look at workaholics.
It's so stupid.
I don't know if you've ever seenworkaholics.
Ooh, that show was properlydumb.
And I love it when I just needto look at something stupid.

SPEAKER_02 (31:21):
But but but that's why also I I'm not a big movie
fan, but but by shows.
Like even sometimes when I Ican't find a good show, my shows
are out.
I'll go back to the GilmoreGirls or Comfort TV.
Yes, that's why everythingfresh.
Exactly.
Even when back in the days,reality TV was just for me to
tune out.
It was until I started mypodcast where I started seeing

(31:45):
reality TV like a tour, eventhough it's still entertaining.
And I mean, this if you look athow many real housewives
branches that they are love,love is blind, married at first
sight, all this.

SPEAKER_05 (31:58):
Love is blind, love is nearsighted.

SPEAKER_02 (32:00):
And it also teaches me on the type of love.
I also want like it'sentertaining.
It takes me out of my depressionbecause now I start laughing at
shit.
And then I'm like, damn, thisgunless woman are fighting about
this.
Clearly, I cannot have problemsbecause some of them are going
to jail.
I should be happy.
But it it also accomplished likeit's all a mixture and one.

(32:23):
And that's why I'm like, I'malways going to choose shows
over movies, because the movieyou have two hours, one hour,
two hours, you're done, and thenstill pre spare for movies like
I used to.

SPEAKER_05 (32:33):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (32:33):
Because I look at it like, oh, so this is two hours,
even though it will be a moviecomedy or love, con, and I think
I really want to see it, butthen I'm like, because even it's
a race movie with Keke Palmerand Sesar.
Oh, there was something.
I wanted to go to the cinema,but I was really like, nah.
Then it came out.
It's on Netflix, it's onwhatever.
And then I've downloaded it, Istill haven't like, even though

(32:56):
I know I know I want to.

SPEAKER_05 (33:00):
Oh my god, we're gonna smoke and we're gonna
cook.

SPEAKER_02 (33:03):
Yeah, that was I think it was um even um during
COVID, the only ways I wouldwatch movies was when Netflix
had that um co-watching,whatever.
I don't know, but maybe myfriends in Canada would do that,
but during COVID, everybody hadtime, right?
Now together time to do and intime.

(33:26):
But but but but that's the sakeof it.
But um, now that we're done withTrash TV, right?
I was saying um when wementioned about your plant event
and Walter and Hannah comingout, and I recently met you.
We met in July at PR.
Shout out to Pierre.

SPEAKER_05 (33:43):
It's not like it was way longer ago than that, but
you say so.

SPEAKER_02 (33:47):
Because we've been seeing each other.
Like she's just showed, and thisis the thing.
She tells me to pull up and Ijust pull up.
You remind me of loyalty,because when I met loyalty, and
loyalty is this um gosh, she'slike, you're Paula, if you tell
me and if I can make it, I'mcoming.
I'm pulling up.
And if I can't make it, I'll letyou know I can go.
And because loyalty has a veryum, is it six, seven-year-old,

(34:10):
and she leaves the home withthat?
Yeah, and so she has to makesure the dad is available to
watch her or somebody.
So for that, but because most ofour all the kids, they're all
grown and in college andwhatever.
So if it wasn't for the youngerone, she would be pulling up for
anything, but you know, youstill gotta make sure your kid
is right.
But um, the reason why even Ifuck with her because she'll
show up and she won't just hangaround me.

(34:33):
Like she will go and do her owndamn thing.
Next thing it will be an eventthat I know everybody knows me,
but when I'm leaving, they'll belike, Do you know about it?
Exactly.
And that's the same with us.
Um ever since I met her, you'vebeen showing her, and that's why
it was very important for me toshow up for you for your
birthday event in back and theneven bring a friend, like, oh my

(34:56):
god, we also got amazingcandles.
I ended up buying candles thatwasn't supposed to be.
And I ran out of them realquick.
Like, I'm talking about Saturn,Saturn something.
I forgot them, but they're stillgonna support the other
entrepreneurs, especially.
Rap shit with P is more thanjust a name, it's what we do.
We make visions come alive frombranding and match to curated

(35:20):
gifting and virtual assistantservices.
We help creatives,entrepreneurs, and businesses
show up bigger, bolder, andbetter.
So if you're ready to level upyour vision, connect with us on
IG at wrapshitwithp orwrapshitwithp at gmail.com.

(35:42):
And that's wrap s-t w I T H PRapshitwithP at gmail.com or
wrapshit with P on Instagram.
Lapshit with P where accessmeets energy, where passion
meets execution, and where everydetail gets wrapped with love

(36:06):
and excitement.
So here's to season 10.
The final season of Doc She WeP.
The one people who remembered mefrom Faye's event, and they
think you're gonna have a fewwine and a half a bottle of the
couple.

SPEAKER_05 (36:27):
Excuse me, a few months.
Um not months, a few weeks ago.

SPEAKER_04 (36:30):
Yeah, because there was just that.
It was September.
We were coordinating this, youknow.
October, we're October now,literally wasn't that's what I'm
saying.

SPEAKER_02 (36:38):
As far as I'm concerned, it's still September.
When you say the months, it alsofeels a little bit but let's get
back to the point.
The point was there's power inshowing up, and that's why I
tell people like you can belongin communities, and but if
you're not showing up, how doyou expect community to show up
for you?
Like, if I don't know you, ifyou're not supporting.

(37:01):
So I want you in your own ways.
Um, I know you've been showingup before you met me and all the
other people because becauseI've seen how much events you
got to.
I think she's the business part.
Like the Don't do that.

SPEAKER_04 (37:12):
I am not the business.
Like, when you look at herstories every day, I'm like, how
did you go to all these events?
All my stories like that.
That was just this story I was.

SPEAKER_05 (37:24):
I planned it out, and these events uh in space
were very close together.
So it was easy for me to get tothem and don't drive.
So I'm like, um, Uber train anduh and a little bit of a lot of
things.

SPEAKER_02 (37:38):
That's why sometimes I might miss events depending on
my bank and uh distance becauseAtlanta, some of the best sports
are very far off.
But then when you don't drive,it's like uh for driving can be
35 to 45 minutes now.
Yeah, but when you're on atrain, it's like a bus, a train,

(37:59):
a bus, a train, a walk, uhwhatever, and it's I'll take the
train and then I'll get an Uberafter the train.

SPEAKER_05 (38:04):
But I'm gonna take it.

SPEAKER_02 (38:08):
That's what I'm saying.
Sometimes you miss because youcan't you gotta make sure that
your funds is funding.

SPEAKER_04 (38:15):
And I get that.
You know we understand eachother.
But my point, let's get back tothe point.

SPEAKER_02 (38:20):
Um, can you can we talk a little bit about the
power of showing up?
Uh well, the power of showing upis what has that done for you?

SPEAKER_05 (38:30):
Well, I came to understand through being engaged
in so many communities, whetherit was it was always like a lot
of creative communities.
Um, and and I really learnedthis very well from DJs.
Um DJs are always doing stuff,you know, and some events are

(38:51):
free, some events, you know, yougotta pay a little cover, and
that's fine.
You know, like you said, if thefunds are funding, let's have a
good time.
I'm pulling up, I'm showing up.
But something that I came toreally appreciate in uh getting
to know so many DJs, I can put10 DJs right now off the top of
my channel.

SPEAKER_02 (39:08):
I have a DJ I have six years too because I dated
them in Malaysia and theyexhausted me.

SPEAKER_05 (39:13):
So I'm not gonna say too much about close proximity
that I've had with DJs becausethat's I don't want to sell that
part.

SPEAKER_00 (39:22):
But send them to my favorite DJs, DJ L P DJ Crepes,
I got you.

SPEAKER_02 (39:30):
Um the Afras and Olive, even dripping in black.
We were in a retreat together,Dominic.
Um, they ran up.

SPEAKER_04 (39:42):
He's gonna be an Afras and Olive.
Of course.
Come on, he's gonna be DJ.
He's speaking, he's speaking ofDominic.

SPEAKER_02 (39:52):
I know, I have a meeting with him tomorrow.
That's the only reason I waslike, I was gonna go to Alfredo
because I've never met him?
No, no, I've met him.
We were we have met, like weknow each other so well because
he comes to he he has been toAlfredo, he has DJ'd Alfred.

SPEAKER_05 (40:08):
Of course he did.

SPEAKER_02 (40:08):
He was supposed to come to the Detroit retreat
because we did uh first retreatthis year, but uh he had uh job
opportunities, so you know we wesupport that.
So yeah, even Craig, like thoseare like even Craig, they
sometimes get to the Twitch.
Uh huh.
Craig is the one who picked mypicture for the new episode that

(40:29):
uh Dominic interviewed me.
Like we have a project of likethat's that's the and and it's
one of uh because it talks a lotabout community, he does that is
the neighborhood homie, period.
That's the benefit.
Exactly, yeah.
And and um uh one thing I likedbecause I even told him I was
like, I like your realness onthreads.

(40:50):
If you guys are not followinghim on threads, you go and
follow him on threads.
Yeah, he is the realest shit andhe just keeps the bitter reality
keeps it real.
But we we like we have four DJ RPete over here.
Yeah, very, very uh team DJ.

SPEAKER_05 (41:06):
And that would be the only reason I go to our just
to get back to a point that Iwas making before we realized
that we had that amazing personin common, who I met him in
Jacksonville, by the way,because that's where he resides.
Um, and that's where I wasresiding for a year before.
So, um, what was the other thingI was gonna say?

SPEAKER_02 (41:24):
And what you learned from the DJs?

SPEAKER_05 (41:26):
What I learned from the DJs is going to events.
How it works is the DJs, whenyou come to their events, that's
like that's better than money.
You know, when you're showing upand you're showing up
consistently and supporting themas DJs, then that is just like

(41:48):
it's a morale boost, but it'salso like a good way to lock in.
For example, to a DJ's event, toa promoter's event, to um just
any creative, and you're showingup to their events, then it's
like you're you're just kind ofbuilding that currency up with
them.
And so when you're getting readyto do yours and you're asking

(42:08):
people to show up for you orjust help you promote, then it's
just kind of organically like,yeah, of course, I'm gonna take
care of you.
Because when every time I lookup from these turntables, I see
you in the crowd.
I see you not just pulling up,but I see you actually on the
dance floor.

SPEAKER_02 (42:23):
Like, we're having your girls, your boys, telling
people about it, reposting yoursocial media, even if you're
kind of commenting.

SPEAKER_05 (42:31):
Yeah, so I want to give a big shout out to DJ Wiley
Sparks in Atlanta because that'sthat's the DJ who I have been
seeing most consistently atevents because he's just
curating these really dopeevents that are very
specifically themed.
Annually, we got Twenko andGlisten, which is Southern
hip-hop classics.

(42:52):
And I grew up in the South and Ilove hip-hop, so naturally it's
a fit for me.
But um, High Top Fade isbringing back like 90s rap and
RB, New Jack Swing specifically.
You know, like it's a vibe.
And so I'm I'm pulling up tothose events, and I'm also uh in
between events, I'm asking, howcan I support you?

SPEAKER_02 (43:15):
You know, people understand that question.
Somebody recently told me, uh,wrote a post on LinkedIn and I
was like, uh it was kind ofdedication post to me, but like
um Oh, a dedication?
Kind of.
Um, I don't want to put all thecredit on me because I don't
like the spotlight on me becauseI don't do it for the credit or
whatever.
There's one two spotlights.

(43:36):
What are you saying now?
I mean in a most shape.
Two spotlights on you.
What I'm saying, what they toldme about the event.
I told them I'm not sure if Ican be able to come, but let me
know how I can support you.
And I help promote, I helpconnect them with people, yeah,
future sponsors.
Uh whether it works out for thisyear or maybe next year, because
this is their first year, so youstill gotta build the momentum.

(43:58):
Some people can't do it thisyear, but that doesn't mean you
can't build it for next year,right?
Uh and I feel like that's thething with networking or people
showing up.
People always assume that if Ishow up, it has to be now, but
play the long game.
It's always the long game.
Like keep on keep on building itand in time.
So they wrote a post and uhbecause after I even told them

(44:23):
about uh podcast movement, andthen uh after the event, I
reached out because I ended upmeeting.
I've known her, but we've nevermet in person.
And uh a partner I just metbecause she connected us.
She was like, This is the guywho's also planning it, he's
buying everything.
So we got to meet in real life,and and on the first night we

(44:43):
closed the bar, we really didn'tleave until the bar was closed.
Including Joe from Wopart werethere, we were drinking.
Um, but um after that, when wecame back, I messaged him and I
was like, hey, now that we haverested after a week, um, here's
my my my link.
Please book a time so we cantalk and see how far you are,

(45:03):
and we I see how I can supportyou.
We jumped on a call, we talked,and they told me what right now
they needed.
I was like, I'll see what I cando.
And the fact apart was I sent anemail to Todd that day, and the
next day I found out we passedaway the day before.
So it was like, oh hi, bad.
But anyways, recipe stored.
I know that's my baby.
But um, she went on and postedon LinkedIn, she was like, the

(45:27):
power of showing up and havingthe right people in your corner,
because even if they personallycan't support you, it's the fact
that they can ask you, how can Ihelp?
Like, yeah, and that's exactlywhat I just said.
That's why when you say this, Iwas like, it brings because
sometimes you might not be ableto afford to attend, or you

(45:51):
can't make it, uh, or thescheduling, you know, whatever
it is.
But you can always ask peoplehow can I help?
How can I support?
Other time, it could be even,hey, can you put a post?
Can you collaborate on a post?

SPEAKER_05 (46:09):
Like, you know, you pass out a few flyers, because
you take some time out of yourday.

SPEAKER_02 (46:13):
So I'm can I send can I send you a match and you
post with it?
Like, it's just simple things.
So we should always remember toto ask the people we love and
support.
How can you help?
Because some people are veryhard at asking help, including

(46:33):
myself.
Enough of the calls from afterthat.
I I I tried my I try my bestbecause I'm intentional
networking.
So when I meet people inconferences, I tell them, after
the conference, give me one weekbecause I really need to Yeah,
it takes a week to recover froma conference.
And especially if it's afour-day conference, because

(46:53):
podcast movement is four days.
Usually VFist was two days, PRSwas three days, and at least
three days in the afternoon.

SPEAKER_05 (47:01):
It would be so much easier if we could just have fun
at the conference and then we gohome and it's just like we have
fun.
But that's just the beginning.
And you know what you gottafollow up.

SPEAKER_02 (47:14):
Yeah.
And I learned this a long time.
The first time I went toPortfest, which was my first
conference, I didn't do shit.
And then when I was going backto the sitting here, I was like,
Damn, I don't want to be thatperson who just ends up meeting
people at a conference and thendoesn't talk to them until the
next year.
Like, yes, we follow each otheron social media and like and
comment, but that's not aboutthat.

(47:36):
That's not talking.
That's not that's notrelationship with them.
Exactly.
And I didn't know that when Ifirst started.
But so from from the secondprofessor, I was like, I want an
intentional network.
So from there, when I meetpeople, those who I really wanna
move it further than just seeyou next year, when I come back

(47:56):
home after a week, I'll send anemail.
Or send them if I don't have theemail, check on them on
Instagram, DM, or LinkedIn.
Be like, hey, it was so nice tomeet.
When are you free to catch upand say how we can support each
other?
Because then there, because inconferences you can talk.
But in that one hour, dependingon how many people you are, you
really don't know, and nobody'stelling you from the
straightforward, I need helpwith this, this, this.

SPEAKER_05 (48:18):
But then when you come back, have but a surface
level of attention to give.

SPEAKER_02 (48:23):
Yeah.
Yeah.
But when you come back, then I'myou make things and you really
talk and you hear what peopleare working on and what they
need out.
And that's what people aretelling me.
I was like, Paula, half of thetime when we get on a call, you
are constantly taking what wecan help.
We never get the chance to evenask them like I do that in
purpose because I don't make thetime for you to ask me, because

(48:43):
half of the time I don't knowwhat I need help with.
But one thing I know is I likeconnecting people.
I like seeing people I know arein the same nature, doing
something similar and lookingfor that, just end up on the
facilitate those relationships.
It just makes me happy.
And because I know when I needhelp, people will come help me.

(49:06):
Not like not to brag, but right.

SPEAKER_05 (49:09):
It's not bragging, it's just you you understand.
I think that's part of thestrategy.
It's not that you're doing itbecause you're trying to
benefit, you naturally do careabout connecting people.
I do, but you understand thatthe benefit that naturally comes
along with that is peoplehelping you reciprocally.

SPEAKER_02 (49:30):
Exactly.
It's a circle.
And stay tuned for part twocoming to you on Friday.
Don't forget to check it out.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}S10E10 - From Divorce on Zoom to a Mic and a Movement: How She Turned Healing into Culture, Growth & Community <Part-1>!!