February 19, 2025 • 59 mins
How often have societal norms made you question your own desires? Join us as we push boundaries and shatter taboos on female sexuality and self-discovery. From the transformative gift of a vibrator at sixteen, courtesy of her forward-thinking mother, to navigating the complex social media landscape, we explore the liberating journey of self-pleasure and its empowering role in women's lives. Strap in for a candid conversation packed with humor, honesty, and personal anecdotes that challenge societal double standards and highlight the joy of mutual pleasure."
"Our journey also covers the unique challenges faced by Black creators in the sex toy industry and the drive to advocate for fair compensation. With insights gained from candid chats about relationships with our fathers, we emphasize the importance of creating safe spaces for vulnerable discussions, breaking generational taboos, and paving the way for open dialogues on sexual identity and demisexuality. The episode is a testament to the resilience required to stand firm amid online backlash while remaining true to one's mission."
"Together, we celebrate community and vulnerability, spotlighting the power of connection through shared experiences. Reflecting on the support and relationships formed within our vibrant, transparent space, we express gratitude and anticipation for future discussions on sexuality. Tune in to embrace your own journey of empowerment, and discover how communal support can be a game-changer in navigating personal challenges and triumphs. This episode is a heartfelt invitation to celebrate sexuality without judgment, fostering a culture of openness and self-love.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
explore my pleasure and know what it felt like to
(00:03):
bring myself to an orgasm andlittle did you know I was
already doing that but turnmyself to orgasm and to just
know what pleasure felt likewithout somebody else telling me
what it should feel like.
So she wanted.
She's like boys are allowed toexplore themselves all the time.
It's clap, clap, clap.
But then when young womenexplore themselves, it's such
shame.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
So she just wanted to remove that shame from me I
love that for you because thatthat is very true, like um, and
that's why years ago, even ifyou are magic, you've got to
(00:44):
agree it's worth it to talk shitout, no matter how messy shit
happens.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Shit happens.
Just an fyi, this episode wasrecorded february of 2024 and it
(01:24):
is now February of 2025.
But, figured, it's still worthsharing, especially now being
February, the month of love.
Be it self-love, self-pleasure,shared, whatever it is, I feel
(01:45):
like this episode is worth alisten for the perfect month of
February.
Enjoy.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
So everybody, welcome to.
Shit Happens.
This is my fourth one for theday and my last one.
Oh my God, this is going to beI'm glad it's like at night at
seven, because this is going tobe some freaky shit going on
tonight.
But this guest of mine is.
(02:11):
I hold her so dear.
Oh my God, I love this girl somuch.
I was so mad I didn't get tosee her this year at Port First
because I met her last year atPort First.
But let me go ahead and bringher on the stage.
Miss Love, it happens.
But let me go ahead and bringher on the stage.
Miss love, it happens.
What are you doing, baby?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
oh, look at you.
Now that I get to see yourbeautiful face, I'm doing so, so
so much better.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Look at that glow I don't know if it's the glow or
the lighting, but I'll take it.
How are you good?
I'm very good, I am.
Oh, no, we're gonna do that, Iam good.
I'm a little bit tired becauseyesterday I did not go to bed
(03:01):
until 4 am, and then I and thenI.
Can you hear?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
me.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Yes, but why 4 am?
Oh, I didn't know you weregetting a show.
And then I had to be up by 7 tobe in my clubhouse room.
Wish I was late, so.
And then, once I got up to bein the clubhouse room, I haven't
slept since because I kept onhaving.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
I had a shit happen at 11, then 12, then 3, then oh
my gosh, I'm so sorry that youdidn't get any sleep, but I'm
going to fill you up with lotsof energy, I promise oh, I
believe it, and that's whybecause it was you.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
I'm like I need that energy right now, but then again
I want to go to bed after that.
Well, I have my fourth Atlantameetup, which is happening right
now.
But as soon as I jump off this,I have to join them in the
meeting and then I can go tosleep.
But I also have to wake upearly so my newsletter can go
out, because I haven't sent mynewsletter two Fridays in a row
(04:07):
and I cannot do that to mypeople.
You know I, I know I'm givingmyself grace that it's okay
sometimes to miss, but also,like get, get back on that horse
, right?
I feel it, I definitelyunderstand so what you been up
to, how you been, how is you,costa Rica?
Where are you?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I'm in Mexico.
I'm in Mexico.
Yes, everything is good.
I'm grateful.
I've been trying to stay warmand just I think I'm gonna go to
the beach tomorrow.
You see, I wore my purple fortalk shit with Pete, okay, okay,
yes, but everything's been good.
Like like you, I've beenworking on my email blast and
newsletters and sex positivecontent, so I'm just trying to
(04:43):
stay on it.
I feel you about the givingyourself grace because that's so
and I love them.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Every time I see that the love experience coming on
my and them sexy pictures andthe toys and I'm like, okay, you
remind me to put my sex on mysexy on whenever I get those
newsletters.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
So thank you yes, of course that's the goal.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
I'm happy it inspired you so we're gonna get straight
jump right into it because youknow, um, queen of positive
pleasure and um, I love howopenly you are.
(05:30):
I know it can be very hard tobe to be that open in these
social media streets, becausenot everybody takes it that way
and there's a lot that comeswith it, you know.
So what made you decide to be apositive pleasure?
Like, how did you get into that?
I'm going to go empower womento own their pleasure, and you
(05:54):
know, I got you, okay.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
So the origin of my pleasure positivity was
definitely when I was 16, my mombought me my very first
vibrator.
Now I think that actually we'vebeen a pleasure positive like
home prior to that because mymom she literally bought me a
book from like the discoverystore of people like these
cartoons having sex, but itwasn't like pornographic, it was
(06:19):
educational, because she neverwanted me to believe that babies
came from the stork right.
So she had to give me like thevisual of like the two adults
and it explained everything inthe book for kids to be able to
understand.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
So I had the book, we'd have open discussions, I
was able to ask her aboutanything, and then I walked into
my room one day when I was 16and there was a big Hitachi
magic wand on my bed so she justleft it on the bed for you,
like no, like when I had this,like when I, when you first told
(06:50):
me you got it at 16, in my headI felt like maybe she came and
y'all sat down and she gave itto you and she was like you know
what you do with that, so itwas just waiting for you on the
bed.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
We have two different recollections of this right.
So my mom says that she warnedme about like not warned me, but
told me like she was going togive me this.
She gave you a heads up.
She gave me a heads up and Idon't doubt that, but I probably
just dissociated in the momentbecause I'm like she ain't got
no sex toy, you know what I'msaying.
Like whatever, like I at thetime.
So I was like, oh, hey, mom,but deep down inside I probably
really wanted it.
(07:23):
And then, yeah, she justsurprised me with it on my bed.
So I think that she did give mea warning.
I just don't remember it, but Ihad her on my podcast and she
definitely shared that.
She told me about it beforehand.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
So so, um, before you continue the story, well, I'm
curious.
When you found it on the bed,what, what, what was the next
thing you did?
Did, just, did you take it on aride right there and there,
because it was like it waspositioned ready for you to just
dive in, like you know, likewhen a man ties a bow on his
(07:55):
penis and you walk into the roomlike, okay, I'm just diving in.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
That's the energy that it gave you.
You would think that I woulduse it immediately, right, I did
not, paula.
I think I waited until, like Iwant to say, a year, but that's
really dragging it, but I Icannot remember when I used it
for the first time.
I know that I waited a while,though, because my mom she works
from home we're right next toeach other, like she was in the
(08:22):
other room right next to me andthe hatachi is loud.
So room right next to me andthe Hitachi is loud, so what was
I going to use it?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
You blessed the music .
I don't think I would have hadthe strength.
I would have gone right thereand there out of my curiosity,
probably out of my horniness aswell, and my hormones.
How do you wait?
You said probably a year.
That's some discipline overthere.
Then again, you have been on ajourney, uh, of uh what's the
(08:48):
word with my virginity.
Yeah, no celibacy.
You've been on a celibacy, yeah, so so you have that discipline
.
I don't know, man, I don't knowif I have that discipline.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I'm sorry yes, and also I was still a virgin at the
time.
I didn't have sex for the firsttime until I was 24, so I was
kind of used to like but weren'tyou playing with yourself?
I had masturbated before.
I definitely had with my hands.
I used to think that an orgasmwas when I just got wet.
So when I would arouse myselfand I would get wet, I was like
(09:27):
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
If only it was that easy, a lot of people would be
having all kinds of okay exactly, literally, yes, literally,
nope.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
I.
I kept going one day and I waslike, oh, but there's more that
comes with this, no pun intended.
And my mom, she told me shedidn't just like give me the
vibrator, right, she did, tellme.
I I think this might have beenafter the fact, but it could
have been before as well, like Isaid, you know blurred lines in
my head, but she definitelysaid the reason why she gave it
(10:00):
to me was because she wanted meto explore my pleasure and know
what it felt like to bringmyself to an orgasm.
And little did you know I wasalready doing that.
But to bring myself to orgasmand to just know what pleasure
felt like without somebody elsetelling me what it should feel
like so she wanted, she's likeboys are allowed to explore
themselves all the time it'sclap, clap, clap.
But then when young womenexplore themselves, it's such
(10:22):
shame.
So she just wanted to removethat shame for me.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
I love that for you because that that is very true.
Like um, and that's why yearsago, um, before I started talk,
she would be uh, I wanted tostart a sex podcast because I am
very, very, very, very, verysexual.
I talk about it, I do it.
(10:46):
That's why I love my podcastpeople.
That's one conference where Igo and sometimes I feel like I'm
in a sex con because there's somuch sex conversations and
podcasts and shit.
It's ridiculous.
I wanted to start a sex podcastbecause I loved exploring it and
(11:11):
then I would sit with myfriends and the way they would
talk about sex and they made itfeel like either it was a chore
or, as long as the man waspleased, they were okay, I'm
like, bro, you need to enjoy ittoo.
What do you mean?
I'm like, bro, you need toenjoy it too.
What do you mean?
Then it came to clear that nowonder I was always excited
about having sex or just beingwith somebody.
(11:32):
We are enjoying those moments.
And then my friends would belike, hey, this is what I want,
because this is what I want, notsex, but I'm like, but that's
what I want.
Like, what do you mean?
So I wanted to have.
But then again we were in Africa, we.
It was shameful Like those weretaboo conversations, but I grew
up in an environment that youknow it was.
(11:53):
It wasn't a taboo.
I'm grateful for my parents.
So I I talked a lot about itand I wanted to start a podcast
to tell people you, you areallowed to enjoy sex as a woman.
You can exclaim it, you cantell your man what you want.
You can try different things,like.
I remember the first time I hada sex I I I did a sex tape.
I literally wanted everybody tosee it, but I didn't.
(12:16):
But I didn't want to send it topeople, so I did a a sex like a
watch party for my sex that'sfucking amazing shit happens.
Look at, talk shit with me likefuck, yeah, well.
Well, I initially did becauseand that was the first white guy
(12:39):
I dated and everybody waslooking at me like you're dating
white guys, you know know, dothey really do that?
Are they really good?
I'm like, do you think I'll bewith somebody who's not
satisfying me over there, likecome on.
So when I did the sex set, likeI played it, but before even
the shit, like as soon as it wasover, people on their phone
trying to do the booty call andeverybody was doing it yeah, I
(13:05):
was like, oh my god, I'm soproud of myself.
Y'all got, yeah, but how many?
Um, it was six girls and then,uh, two boys were.
They were not in America sothey were on on FaceTime with me
but watching.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
I love that so much.
I feel like that's, that's likethe ultimate story, like a
watch party for this everybodyshould do that like because you
can't.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
You can't send it to people, people, might.
You never know where you mightfind it?
On this thing you're beingblackmailed.
So the only person who has thatcopy is him and me, and he's
white and far off from me.
So if he sends it to people,whatever, it's gonna take a long
time to surface back to mypeople, like, yeah, that's,
that's why I didn't even do asex tape with a tanzanian guy or
(13:59):
anything, because I was like noman, I don't trust y'all.
You know too many people, weknow.
You know boys want to share.
I'm like no.
So for me it was like I, I wasproud of myself, like I was
literally looking at myself andand sometimes I even watch it
and masturbate, like I still usethe tape that's what I'm
(14:20):
fucking talking about.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
That's that what I want to have.
I want to have a repertoire.
I want to have tapes of myselfthat I can get off to.
I love that for you.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
I know I created another one.
That one I haven't had thepleasure of hosting at Sexy
because it's kind of new.
It's like a year and a half old, it's new but it was caught on
the perfect moment because I wasliterally shooting my shitter,
(14:50):
I was quieting.
Yes, I'm so glad you decided torecord today, please.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
If you have a live party for that one, you better
invite me.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
I got you girl, I got you girl, I got you girl.
Let's get back to your story.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
I got a vibranium when I was 16.
I used that sucker afterwards,afterwards and then I couldn't
stop using it when I started,and then well, that is real.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
For the longest time I was scared of.
I started with playing withtoys way later in life because
for the longest time I did notwant to get addicted.
Because I saw people gettingand they're like fuck a dick,
I'm good, I'm like, no, I want adick, like I don't know, I
don't want just a dick.
(15:48):
So I stayed away from them forthat long, like literally the
first time I got a toy was whenmy friends three years ago when
I went to Texas on my birthdayand they were right across the
street where the sex shop wasand they bought me the, the
small vibrator, the one, thelike, the bullet, the bullet,
(16:10):
yes, yeah, oh, my god, beforethis ends, I remind me to share
a story about the bullet.
What happened to my bullet?
But, um, so once they bought methat and I started using it,
that's when I started openlyexploring with toys, but more
like I want to use them with apartner as well, not just by
myself, but but it took me awhile because of that.
(16:31):
Oh, you're gonna get addictedto it and no one dig what so was
.
Were you really addicted toyours?
Speaker 1 (16:37):
I was, because it was like a.
It was like a pleasure that Ihad, like, yes, I had dibbled
and dabbled with hand play,right, and so I had experienced
that there's nothing that's evergonna top my first orgasm that
I had with my hands, but thefirst orgasm that I had with my
toy.
It's not even like you want tokeep achieving that, but it's
just like this shit made me feelgood for a very long time.
So then, yeah, I kept using itand then I went to buy my own,
(16:59):
but I didn't know about likebody safe, silicone and all this
stuff.
I got like a plastic toy fromfreaking Spencer's for like $20
all I could afford.
Mind you, the Hitachi was like$80 to $100.
I'm like, oh, my mom invested,but me I was like I'm getting a
cheap one fast forward.
Um, I got into my firstrelationship.
I had sex for the first timewhen I was 24 and then I felt
(17:23):
like the way that you said thatyou know, you thought you're
going to be addicted to the sextoys.
I thought I was going to beaddicted to the d because that's
what everyone told me.
Everybody literally said you'regoing to be addicted to having
sex.
That wasn't my experience, so Idecided to go on tiktok,
started talking about first timeI had sex, things that I wish I
knew, things that I wish that Ididn't really consider that
(17:45):
other people had told me.
And then that video went viral.
I got like 3 million views onit.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
People started asking me so many questions and that
was the real beginning of theend so when you decided to make
that video, when you worriedabout the you know the trolls
and because for some reason,when a woman talks about sex,
(18:12):
instantly we are labeled aswhores or something just by
talking about it.
But men can talk about it.
Men can actually fuck whores.
Men can do whatever and theywant.
Like you know, it's a pretty.
So when you have a concernabout that or how did you?
If you were how did you getthrough that concern and be like
fuck it man.
It is what it is well, twothings.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
That's a great question.
One is I'm an animal activist,so I'm very used to dealing with
trolls.
I've been dealing with them fora very, very long time, so I
wasn't worried about peopletrolling people for whatever
reason.
I like to make my life be alittle bit complicated, so I
like to pick really taboo topicsto talk about, right like
animal abuse and like sex, um,and these are things that we
should talk about, right likeanimals should have rights,
(18:56):
people should have sex if theywant to, right, but I, um, or
people, should experiencepleasure.
At least it's not even aboutsex.
So, yeah, I just I guess Ididn't really have the fear of
what people were going to thinkand what people were going to
say because I was already sovocal about so many other taboo
things.
It's like what else can you comeat me for?
So, and I also knew that ifpeople came at me, it was just
because of internal strugglesthey were having within
(19:18):
themselves and I can't doanything about that.
But I can foster a safe spacefor those who are curious and
those who do want to explore.
Let their guard down.
So yeah, I was like fuck thehaters I.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
I'm glad because I know a lot of people end up
quitting doing talking aboutthings they're passionate about
because I don't know if they arenot strong enough to deal with
that shit, because to me, Ialways have this mindset you can
do it.
Whether you do it or not,people are always going to find
something to talk about you, todiscuss about you, to pinpoint
(19:50):
about you, so might as well givethem something to talk about
that I actually fucking fuckwith.
If you're going to use yourairtime, might as well use it
for something that I want outthere.
Bring on the engagement, bringon the hate, like you know a lot
(20:11):
of people, because it can alsobe challenging.
I get, sometimes it can get toomuch.
Like I know me and you, we takesocial media breaks because
sometimes it is too much.
You know like, yeah, how do youhandle when it is too much,
especially, first of all, beforewe get to that, have you ever,
(20:31):
now that you're out there andtalking about your, your sexual
pleasures and discussing allthese things, right?
Um, do you get hit on a lot onsocial media because of that?
Speaker 1 (20:43):
wow.
So it's really interesting thatyou asked that.
Right, and I really have to goback in my head because I
actually feel like I was gettinga lot more advances pushed on
me when I was still having sex.
Right, because I think that theenergy that I was giving in
some of my posts was like I wantthe dick, so I think that some
(21:04):
people were feeling that.
But then when I was celibate,there was still people in my
inbox sending multiple DMs backto back to back.
Oh, this is what I would do toyou, like unsolicited, really
graphic stuff where it almostfeels like a virtual assault,
right.
It's like like there was oneguy who was literally rhyming
and he was what did he say?
He's like I'd like to raft onthat.
(21:26):
No, he's like I want you toraft on this shaft, or something
like that.
I was like is this dr sooth xxx?
So yeah, I definitely still,whether I'm having sex, whether
I'm celibate, I definitely havepeople in my inbox wanting to
make advances and and evenpeople where I'm like there was.
There was somebody who I didn'teven know that they liked, they
liked women, to be completelyhonest with you, and then so I'm
(21:48):
having a casual conversationwith them and then they just
start talking about sex with mebut not like, oh, let me ask
this.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
That's full on hitting on me and I'm like this
conversation was going to go,you know they probably listen to
to your podcast and they'veheard you say something like
damn Becca goes down like that.
I want a piece of that.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
You know what else has been really creepy?
If I was with a guy one timethat had just followed me on
TikTok.
We we had messed around like ayear before and then I had just
posted and I was like, yeah, Ilove when, like, I'm in bed and
a guy is like, oh yeah, you likethat, you like that or
something like that, right, andthen because that's not even
what I really like, but like itwas something in that realm, and
(22:34):
then he, when I was with himthat night, he did that and I
was like he didn't have sense,we mutually masturbated and he
was like, oh yeah, I checkedyour TikTok to see if you were
still talking about me.
You're a stalker.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
I was going to ask the people you date why is it
that you're going to share someof the experiences with them
over there, or maybe use some ofthe stuff you've shared over
there?
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Absolutely.
I know that they're scared.
I really think that plays afactor in why I haven't
necessarily really been datingfor the last two years.
Granted, a lot of things havechanged in my life and I've made
the active decision not to likelook for somebody.
But I definitely know thatpeople are scared to mess around
with me.
Or when we did mess around,they like were trying to prove
(23:30):
something, like oh yeah, I'mgoing to be the one that makes
her come, and it's like becausethey've listened to your podcast
, so they've heard you complainabout certain things.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Because I can't imagine imagine if I was like I
came and we fucked and shit, andthen in my head I'm thinking
man together.
And then next thing I listen toyour episode and you're talking
about some.
So last week, right, and Ididn't, yeah, and you're talking
(24:01):
about some.
So that's sweet, right, okay,and he tried his best, though,
and you know, I give him thatBecause one thing I'm going to
do is give a little credit.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
I don't want to hurt feelings.
Positive affirmations he didhis best.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Three stars on trying .
But imagine I'm there listeninglike dang it, and here I was,
leaving that house feeling likeI'm not boosting egos anymore,
paula.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
I refuse like the next time?
Speaker 3 (24:43):
I wouldn't either, because the whole point of the,
in my understanding, the wholepoint of the love attire
experience is literally yourexperience and you are
discussing it and you are, incase, somebody else who has been
through that experience.
You are sharing how to go aboutit next time or how to avoid so
(25:04):
it.
You, you have to share yourexperience in order to get to
the point of how to to go aboutit.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
So you know literally exactly, so we can all just
experiment together.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Don't be judged, this is not a critique, it's just,
you know, an observation of oursexual encounter, the person
who's gonna date, she just hasto have balls.
Whether it's a woman, like they, just have to have balls and
understand, it's no personal.
But for me I feel like you knowyou're getting reviewed so you
can do better and become better.
Like all of us in our lives, weget reviewed, right we, either
(25:40):
by ourselves or by people.
We we have to grow.
So how are you going to growsexually if I'm not reviewing
you Exactly?
Speaker 1 (25:48):
And anything that I'm going to say on the podcast I'm
going to say to your face.
So I'm going to say it to youin the moment, cause I'm working
on that too right.
Like it's been two years sinceI've had sex, but I do have
these like rules and things thatI want to implement during my
next sexual activity and that'sgoing to be communicating in the
moment.
Like I loved this Next thinglet's maybe try this.
Did you like this?
You know, like whatever.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
So Are you also going to communicate?
By the way, I'm going to On mynext episode, I'm going to talk
about this, or is that gonna belike a surprise element?
You know?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
because I feel like if I'm really feeling, you
believe it or not I'm actually asacred person, right.
So like if I enjoy something, Iactually don't want everybody
to know I'm getting good dick,or good because you know, or
good vulva, because then y'alldon't want it.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
So so when it's good you, you shut your mouth, just
share, as I said, but we're okay.
So if you ever made it to to,if there's an episode about
something over there, about you,just know, baby, you were not
that good, that's why you're onthat exactly.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
If mom's the word, then all is well.
Now I have had situations whereafter the fact, after I stopped
talking to the person, then Ido share.
Oh, this was the best, like my,my first lesbian experience was
what, the best sexualexperience I've ever had?
Um, but I talked about it afterthe fact, I suppose, like if I
was still having, was in herpool, like you know.
So, um, why, why do you thinklike, uh, it was important for
(27:30):
you to um to remove the shameand stigma surrounding pleasure.
I feel like it's important forme, because the opposite of
pleasure to me is likedispleasure right, like not
feeling pleasure at all.
And pleasure can be thingsoutside of sex and intimacy.
(27:50):
Pleasure can be just you beingintimate with yourself, outside
of masturbation.
You can paint and feel pleasure.
You can listen to music.
I feel so much pleasure when Ilisten to music, when I dance,
and so the fact that it's such ataboo thing for somebody to
feel good because of the organsthat they have within them being
stimulated and it's like, likeyou said, you know cis hetero
(28:11):
men, oh, pleasure is fine forthem.
No, that's the goal.
Like we see that in the mediaand all this stuff.
But then anybody outside of cishetero men, it's a problem.
Gay men people demonize theirsexual activities.
Gay women unless you canfetishize it, then it's okay.
Then if I can watch it andparticipate in it as a man, then
it's okay.
So it just really felt like Iwas going against the patriarchy
(28:33):
by fighting for pleasure andit's just a passion of mine.
I feel like back in the day,people with vulvas used to have
leeches.
Like men would put leeches onthe vulvas of people yes, in the
50s, mind you, not evenliterally just the 50s Because
they didn't want women to feelpleasure and if they did, they
(28:54):
would consider them to behysterical, so they put them in
psych wards and mental hospitalsand then do the leech thing or
you know just certain things.
That pleasure is just sointimidating to man.
I felt like it was somethingthat's worth fighting for.
So, yeah, and it causes suchshame, and a lack of
conversation can lead to so muchtrauma.
Or if you experience trauma,you feel so much shame about the
(29:17):
trauma because no one's talkingabout it.
But then once we all start kindof talking about it, we're like
wait, you had that experiencetoo, and you had that experience
too.
You feel so much harmony.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
So I'm just trying to bring the harmony back into the
world with pleasure it's sotrue, so true, and it's amazing
how many women out there feelthey don't deserve to to
experience.
But when you were talking about, pleasure could be anything.
Let me share this story.
When I was at Port First, right, I was at the Owl booth and I
(29:46):
was interviewing, right.
So I was sitting there and Ihad this incredible man yo, this
man's swag was full on.
He was sitting in the middleand then the lady next to her,
uh, she was a pleasure and touchsomething you know.
(30:06):
So we were like oh, pleasure.
So everybody in their mind,pleasure.
They immediately went to sexualpleasure.
So, of course, you know youhave talk shit with p over there
and we go and talk some shit.
So so we were talking, we weretalking.
The next thing everybody heard,literally everybody stopped
because we were the last boothand we were recording live and
(30:29):
people started jumping in.
Did I hear pleasure?
Did I hear sex?
And then the girl goes and waslike you know, pleasure doesn't
have to be sexual.
Just imagine a mango right,ripping off, like you just
washed it, and the water isdripping and you're looking at
it and somebody's putting it inher mouth.
(30:50):
Everybody was like but that'ssexual.
You know what I mean Wash bones, wash bones.
She was like, okay, maybe,maybe I choose the wrong, the
(31:10):
wrong food, so let's tryabsolutely.
Next up is a banana and aneggplant but I don't know if
eggplant works, because, oh yeah, you know what?
Oh God, it's been a minute, soI might be calling some people
(31:35):
for this live, okay.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
That's what I'm saying.
Call them up, pull up theroster.
Okay, I can't talk.
I have a whole box of sex toysin that, um, in that been
waiting to be used, cause it'sbeen a while.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
So in your celibacy you're also not pleasuring
yourself, or?
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Um sex, no, just sex with other people.
I'm definitely having sex withmyself.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
I would have been so impressive.
I would have shipped you a manLike I would have told you to
tell me the type of man or womanyou want and I would have
shipped them to you, becausewhat's that?
Speaker 1 (32:21):
No no In the definition of celibacy.
I don't even know, I looked itup but I didn't retain it.
But I know that my therapisttold me that technically of
celibacy I I don't even, I don'teven, I didn't even I looked it
up but I didn't retain it.
But I know that my therapisttold me that technically,
celibacy is without sex, withoutpleasuring yourself as well.
She also said you can make upyour own rules.
So I took that part of what shesaid.
I was like, okay, bet, yeah,we're gonna take this in on the
(32:41):
bit.
Speaker 3 (32:42):
So yeah, have you ever watched Girlfriends?
Yes, I love Girlfriends.
You remember when Lynn wasdating that guy, the poet, who
was celibate, and Lynn was thehoe of the group, right, she was
always horny already and shewould change.
(33:04):
She was like baby Lynn.
You know I can't Baby.
So she would say she's likebaby.
I mean, you know I kind of baby.
So what got you into thecelibacy journey?
What made you decide to takethat moment to and what outcome
are you hoping from this journey?
Because I believe when peopletake this journey it's more
personal.
So unless you just woke up andsaid, fuck niggas, bitches, I'm
(33:32):
down, I'm closing shop for aminute, no, yeah, I think that
um the the defining point for mewas obviously the celibacy
started very unintentionally, soI wasn't like I'm gonna be
celibate today, starting now.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Um, it was very unintentional.
I had sex with someone and andin the in the time, I convinced
myself that I wanted to have sexwith this person.
After the fact, right.
But looking back on it andlearning certain words like
coercion and certain things likethat, I learned that it
definitely was not the mostconsensual experience.
And then, right after that,literally a week after that, I
(34:09):
had sex with someone who Iwanted to have sex with for a
really long time and thatexperience brought me so much
pleasure.
I felt cared about and all thisstuff.
But then I'm like damn girl,you're wilding like two in one
week, like what's your pH aboutto be like?
So I couldn't really findanybody after that that aligned
with my beliefs about gettingtested.
(34:30):
And there was one guy.
I was bold.
I looked up to him in public wewere at this event asking for
his Instagram.
We're chatting back and forth,blah, blah, blah, and he was
taking forever to go get tested.
Like I told him, this is myrequirement.
I had sex with those two peoplein January and then got tested
in April after I had sex with awoman, and I was like all right,
this is just a lot.
And then long story short.
(34:52):
I think the universe just kindof pushed me into it.
Finally, I think around thetime that me and my dad started
mending our relationship waswhen I decided like, oh, I think
I'm going to commit to thecelibacy, like life's been great
.
I did endure some more traumathat year, so I think that that
also just had me reconfigureeverything sexually in my life,
like just trying to figurethings out with that.
(35:13):
But yeah, I think that me andmy dad's relationship healing
definitely was an imperativepart of me.
Not trying to fill holesinternally like voids.
Trying to fill voids, thatsounds crazy, trying to fill
voids, um.
And instead I got to refocusthat energy on myself with my
celibacy so once I gave into thecelibacy.
It was great time passed.
(35:34):
I had so much fun.
I started learning more aboutit, learning more about the
benefits.
I started being able to seemyself more.
I wasn't allowing men todistract me anymore.
It was a lot.
So, yeah, now here I am, twoyears later, and my goal my goal
is to be so assured withinmyself and within my sexuality
and my sensuality, because I'mstill finding it right.
People think I'm so pleasure,pleasure, confident, and I am
(35:57):
with myself, but with a partner.
Even with myself, I still haveroom to grow, but with a partner
there's still certain triggersand certain things for me.
Like, motherfucker, if I tellyou that this hurts and you
don't stop, I'm going to stabyou and like it won't be fatal.
But I will have to just prove apoint, like if I, you know
(36:17):
little things like that, I feellike that's why I still need
healing.
I'm not going to stab somebody.
I feel like it's okay to starthaving sex again, but I really
want each sexual experience.
I have to be having sex again,but I really want each sexual
experience.
I have to be very intimate,very filled with love.
I want to be cared about.
It's been hard to find a sexualpartner to care about me for a
while.
So yeah, the goal is to be soin tune with myself and with my
(36:41):
body that I feel connected andhave the trust in my discernment
to be able to share that energywith somebody else or with
other multiple people, who knows?
Speaker 3 (36:51):
That's beautiful Cause and I love that you're.
You're learning about yourselfand what you want, because
that's important, right?
Especially, people forget theperson you, you, you sleep with,
you, you share the shit is shit.
They're inside of you.
So that's energy transfer.
(37:12):
Right, sex is fun and shit, butthat's energy transfer.
So sometimes you'retransferring fucked up energy
into you exactly literally.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
So yeah, definitely have to be very aware of the
energy transfer definitely so Iwas gonna ask you something, oh
my god.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
So, yeah, definitely have to be very aware of the
energy transfer, definitely, soI was going to ask you something
.
Oh my God, you're making melose my.
What's your favorite toy rightnow?
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Oh, my favorite toy is very easy, it's called the
nami by fern.
I got it from this.
Uh, it's a black owned sex toyshop called shops adore and it
literally has a suction on thetop and then vibration on the
bottom.
But it's like the shape of likean l, I guess, but like an l
with hips did you?
Speaker 3 (38:05):
did you have it with you?
Uh, I don't know where you are,a few somewhere in january
where you were in a hotel andyou were doing, and was it one
of the toys you had?
Speaker 1 (38:17):
yes, it's the blue toy.
When I was in las vegas, I wasat the tech convention yep yeah
yeah yeah, I saw it and I waslike because I started imagining
it.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
So I was like because I started imagining it.
So I was like, ok, because youknow what, there's certain
things I listen to you and thenthere's certain things I don't.
Because when you startedtalking about no, not in a bad
way, like no, when you startedtalking about I know because I
am, so I am not trying this shit, I do not want you were like.
There are ways where I was likeI am listening to this shit.
(38:47):
There's nothing you can tell methat will make me wanna go do
no, no, no, I was like I lovethis girl and I want to support
by into listening because she'sabout to change my mind on shit.
Because, because you know,sometimes when you really
(39:09):
certain people will talk in away and you'll be like you know
what, maybe she's on tosomething, maybe I should, so
you talk that way where you getme excited to God.
So I'm like, no, I ain't goingto listen, because that back
door is going to stay shut.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
No, that was just for people who were curious about
it and just for people who maybejust wanted to try anal, didn't
know what to do, and I hadteamed up with um, a toy company
, as well, and they gave me,like this, with this new, like
technology and I was like oh,wow, this could make it.
This can have a little razzledazzle, but I totally get it.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
Everything's not for everybody I love, love how you
have worked your podcast, thatyou actually team up with a lot
of sex shops and support them.
So that's impressive.
Because is that like asponsorship program or just an
(40:06):
affiliate?
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Some of them, like Shops Adore, that's an affiliate
program so I'd be like, oh, usemy code and then you get 15 off
.
So usually those you can tellif it has a code nine times out
of ten.
Um, that's the hard part,honestly, about being a black
creator is that I have reachedout to so many toy brands for
paid promotions and and you knowthere are.
There are white influencers outthere who can record one video
and make $10,000 for that video.
(40:32):
People were coming up to melike we'll give you $200 for
five videos on TikTok, fivevideos on Instagram, five videos
on YouTube.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
Do you know how to text create a video Like Thank
you, everything that goes to it.
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
You have to edit it, shoot it, have the toy, learn
about the toy, research the toy,use the toy, have your
testimonial, find the sound,find the good light, all this
stuff.
I mean 9 times out of 10,.
They won't even want to payBlack creators.
They'll just want to give youtoys or give you a gifted
product and then that's it, likeyou don't even make commission
off the sales.
None of that.
This is this, is it so?
(41:13):
So, yeah, usually nine out often it's affiliate, um, or it's
a product that is really loved,or it might be for a paid
promotion, but not, I'll justsay, not what other non people
of color creators are making, ifthat makes sense.
Speaker 3 (41:27):
Yeah, it's the reality of the world we live in,
right?
Speaker 1 (41:32):
Yeah, and I'm starting my own sex play company
, and so I'm looking forward tobeing able to hire people of
color and influencers and paythem their rates and you know
what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
At least pay a fair rate, I am here to be an
ambassador, okay.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
You already know you're on the top of my list,
please.
Speaker 3 (41:56):
I was an official official ambassador for Mopad,
an official officialphotographer for Mopad, an
official official ambassador forEverybody was like how many
ambassadorships do you want?
I'm like bring all of them,bring all of them, all of them,
I want all of them.
I really missed your podcast.
(42:17):
We had too much fun.
Michelle brought a sex toolbox.
I'm about to be posting those.
They tied me up, they gagged meup, they gagged me up.
I ended up coming back homewith a gag ball because they
were like this is how we'regoing to shut Paula up.
Finally, paula is not going totalk, so there are videos and
(42:40):
pictures.
They'll be posted sometime thisweek.
So these are some of my toys.
Oh, that's the rose.
I love the rose.
I love the rose.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
I tried this one before with the tongue.
Do you like it?
Oh my God this Baby.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
It be doing a damn thing.
It be free.
I just use this side.
It just be going like this, andwhen you find the perfect spot
(43:18):
for it, it will be like oh, myGod oh, my god, I'm curious
because I already know you andyour mom are very cool and I
love your mom.
Shout out to your mom and um, soI know she, she, she, she
(43:41):
understands your podcast.
I mean, she's been a guest onyour podcast.
What about your other familymembers, or your dad?
How do they think about you?
Because I know there's someepisodes when I do, because my
dad is such a a supporter, butlike when I did that episode
with accidental singers and I'mtalking about masturbating to
this episode and then like eventhis I wouldn't want my dad to
(44:02):
watch because I don't know if Iwant him to know, like my sexual
, so I tell him don't.
But you, you have an entirepodcast which is literally all
about your sexual experience.
So maybe they think about youputting your because you know
black folks they'll be like whyare you putting your business
out in the street?
Yup.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
Literally, literally.
It's so crazy.
You say that because, believeit or not, I actually had my dad
on my podcast two days ago.
He came to Mexico and shot withme in my room and we literally
recorded a three-hour episode.
So of course I'm going to besplendid up, but we talked for
three hours, paula, aboutfather-daughter relationships,
(44:45):
raising a daughter like advicehe would give to other fathers,
the ebbs and flows of ourrelationship, his relationship
with my mom, um, his currentmarriage now.
So many just beautiful,transparent conversations, um.
But he did say that at first hetried to listen to my first
episode.
He said he didn't make it.
But like five minutes in it waslike like I cannot do this.
(45:06):
But he said now that he's beenon the show and he just has to
look at it from a differentmindset, if that's okay.
And like and fast forward, likeif you don't want to hear about
me sucking dick, fast forwardto the part where I talk about
sensei touch.
You know what I'm saying.
Like, I try to have aneducational component in in
every story, but I do remember,like he told me his like have
(45:27):
aunts and uncles.
Um.
And then I have like play aunts, play uncles, but still aunts
and uncles, and they would reachout to him like, did you hear
Tia's last episode?
Speaker 3 (45:35):
like you know, like they're shaming me, they're just
you know because the aunts arelike you know what your daughter
out to did.
You listen to her, but in aplayful way, not in a like do
you know what your daughter isdoing on the streets?
Speaker 1 (45:52):
Literally, exactly Not in a judgmental way at all.
Literally a playful way they betuning in.
I had a?
Um, my aunties come up to meall the time like, well, let me
tell you about this sex story ofmine and you tell me what you
think.
Literally, I'll be in a vanwith my aunts and they're
spilling all the tea about sex.
I'm like, okay, that's fine, Ilove it here.
This is a safe space for us all.
So I have to make sure that Idon't like react in any kind of
(46:15):
way that would make them thinkthat I'm judging them or
anything, because I'm literallynot.
Like it's nice to actually beincluded in adult conversations.
So, yeah, they're verysupportive.
Speaker 3 (46:31):
And I love talking to all the like, different age of
people and their sexualexperience, and that's why I
like portfels, because atportfels I would literally be in
a group with 50 old men andwomen and then 30, 80, and we
will literally be talking aboutsex and fucking and shit, like
in a 10-way one, and I'm lookingaround and I'm like then he's
50, she's 80 like, but we areall and you hear different
experiences, what they wentthrough, and it's just, it's an
(46:53):
eye opening to be like, oh damn,so that's what you guys were
doing back in the day.
Okay, what exactly is that?
You know?
Tell me about that.
You know, yes, you get todiscover people in a different
light, because sometimes youthink people are so like, oh,
and then when they start talkingabout their sexual experience,
(47:14):
you're like man, okay, you go go, okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
You sound like there'd be some undercover
freaks too, or like my auntiesthat go to church too, like or
like my aunties that go tochurch, I I, I hope your pastor
(47:42):
is not tuning into your who arelike, have been deep in church
and they were having sex andthey were like 13, 12, like it
is no problem with that, butlike the church girls were
always the ones that I knew likeI see your church girl and I
and suddenly I had sex a littlebit way, way, way out, and for
(48:03):
the longest time I didn't takesex as serious.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
I was just like I just want to do the thing.
I think maybe that's how Iended up getting very good at it
.
Now I'm very particular withI'd rather be funny and not
getting dick for two months, butnot just getting dick just from
anybody.
I came to this phase and I'mglad because in my younger, in
(48:29):
my teens, I did what I needed todo, like, yeah, I was on the
streets and and I did it, andand now I'm in this place where,
to me, if I'm not connected toyou, like you can be hot as fuck
and I can say, oh, my god,you're so hot, but if I'm not
connecting to you, like I ain'tgonna fuck you, like that's
forgiven, like it's nothappening.
(48:51):
So do you think that you'redemisexual?
I could be, I'm not sure, butthere's no connection and I
think, um, my, my, my lastrelationship.
Like I haven't been in a, in ain a relationship since 2020.
Like I have dated and I, I'vehad my, my, my, my play partner.
(49:14):
Like you know nothing serious,we play, but I haven't been in a
relationship since 2020 andthat was such a like a summit
kind of relationship which wasso deep and once I like it took
me like I've been in this rollercoaster of journey of
recovering from it, but I alsoknew like connection I had and
(49:37):
the deep end of it.
It made everything, even thesex, good, everything like it
was.
It also made the fights toxic,like right, yeah, because it's
so.
I knew that I wanted somethingdeeper and something meaningful.
If I'm sleeping with somebody,I love that.
Speaker 1 (49:56):
I feel that so deeply too.
I cannot get off without aconnection.
That's why I actually do ademisexual, because I didn't
have a word for it and then mytherapist had was like have you
ever heard of demisexuality?
And literally it's likesapiosexuality, but with a
connection.
As opposed to with sapiosexuals, you have to be connected
mentally, and with demisexualsyou have to be connected
emotionally and in all aspects.
(50:18):
Just there has to be a deepconnection to be able to enjoy
it.
So I feel that oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (50:23):
So, as we're coming to an end of this, how do you
create a safe space for curiousminds to be explored, and all
that Because we always talkabout we want a safe space, we
have a safe space, so what'syour way of creating that safe
(50:47):
space?
Speaker 1 (50:47):
for all these people like us to come in and share our
sexual pleasures.
I love it.
I think that I know on my, onmy poster for my podcast, I say
like my, a safe space for likemy safe space, and then our safe
space or something like that.
But I wanted to make sure itwas a safe space for myself
first, right, because TikTok andInstagram didn't necessarily
feel like it was the safestspace.
I couldn't really curate whatother people were going to
comment and say.
(51:08):
But then I think that for meafter that, I wanted to make
sure there was no judgment.
And if there was judgmentbecause I know that we're human
to catch it right, because we'vebeen so conditioned, so it's
not even really our judgment,it's the stuff society has put
in our head.
So I wanted to make sure that Imade it known that I'm I don't
know it all right and I think ifthat helps also, people feel a
(51:29):
bit more vulnerable because it'slike oh okay, so she's keep on
learning with you all, as I'mteaching you all exactly.
We're literally learningtogether.
So, yeah, I think those are thetwo biggest components learning
together, being transparentabout that, the fact that I
don't know it all beingtransparent as a whole, and
being vulnerable with my shit.
I talk about smelly vaginas.
You know what I'm saying.
I talk about literallyeverything under the sun that is
(51:50):
like real taboo, allegedly.
And then, um, yeah, just not nojudgment, because because we're
all learning like nobody wasborn knowing this.
So I think that that's reallyhow I call today and let's give
love.
I just want to.
Just give love, I want to letlet you know.
Speaker 3 (52:06):
You do.
You do that.
You do that Like.
Even your videos are so bubbly,even if you're talking about
something like you feel likevery bubbly and welcoming, so I
love that.
But before I let you cut outyour podcast and all that, let
(52:27):
me share my bullet story realquick.
So one day, right, I woke up inthe morning.
I'm always very horny in themorning, so I was horny and I
was about to get ready to go towork.
At this time I was working inhome goods retail store.
So I took my bullet and I waslike let me muster up real quick
so that I can go shower and getready.
So how about?
The bullet went all the wayinside my vagina, right, it went
(52:50):
all the way in.
So I'm texting my manager.
I'm like yo, how the fuck doyou take out a bullet out of
your vagina, right?
So she started laughing.
She's like what the fuck youmean?
I'm like I was trying toquickly masturbate before I come
.
I went in, but it feels so goodbecause the vibration was still
on and it was inside of me.
I was like but it feels so good, so take your time researching
(53:12):
while I kind of get off and shetried everything and we felt I
was like, oh my god, I'm goingto walk buzzing in there because
that shit was still buzzing.
I was like, okay, let's goshower, maybe it will turn off
and whatever happens.
Then I go, as I'm going toshower, I pee and it slides out.
(53:33):
I'm like all it took was mepeeing and it went down the
drain.
I'm like I'm not picking thatshit up Like we're done.
We're done.
So that's how my bullet died,dressed in peace.
But it was such a goodexperience.
I was like if I I ever buy abullet, I'll be putting it
inside there by myself, justlike while that's in there
(53:53):
vibrating.
And you're kind of like.
I went to work smiling andhappy, like, yeah, before we go
brag about your podcast, this isthe time where you tell people
about your podcast, about allthe amazing things you do, what
(54:14):
they should look forward to,what they need.
They can connect with you.
And one advice on those peoplewho are able or willing or
feeling shame or the stigma ofpleasuring themselves how to get
to pleasure themselveswholeheartedly.
Speaker 1 (54:32):
Okay, all right, so I'll end with the advice.
So my plugs are you can catchme on the Love A Tia Experience
podcast on every single podcaststreaming platform that there is
.
I also have a YouTube channel.
On YouTube I'm iloveatia.
On TikTok.
I'm iloveatia.
I also have a YouTube channelOn YouTube.
I'm ilovetia On TikTok.
I'm ilovetia.
I also have another TikTok formy podcast page with the Lovetia
(54:52):
Experience podcast Instagram.
I'm just lovetia.
No, I just lovetia.
Check out my website, lovetiacom, where you can sign up for my
blog.
I have a free pleasure positiveemail blast that goes out once
a month with pleasure tips.
I have sex toy coupons andstuff like that.
I have a sex toy company comingout very soon so you can follow
(55:12):
me to stay up on that.
Yes, I'm so excited.
And check me out on Patreon.
I have a virtual slumber partycoming up.
I'm so, so, so excited.
And Patreon is where you canget all of my uncensored content
, because I'm still beingcensored on all these social
media sites.
So if you want the real tea, mypodcast and Patreon and my
website are the places to go,and the piece of advice that I
(55:34):
would give to somebody who isstruggling or wants to begin
practicing self-pleasure wouldbe.
Be patient with yourself.
Do a lot of writing and writedown what those thoughts are in
your head.
What's holding you back frombeing able to reach this peak?
What shame.
And write the shame out Like oh, I feel like my vulva's ugly.
I feel like my vulva smells.
(55:54):
You know, write out the thingsthat feel kind of weird to say,
and once you get it out, you'llsee that it feels kind of like
oh, this isn't that bad, youknow.
And then just not just, butpractice falling in love with
yourself every day.
It doesn't have to bemasturbation that brings you
pleasure.
Find things that bring youpleasure and that might awaken
something within you that thenleads you to wanting to sexually
(56:16):
gratify yourself with pants orwith a dress.
Speaker 3 (56:20):
Thank you very much.
You forgot to mention one thing.
You know you're a power womanand you're not mentioning your
other products.
You do have oil, right.
Speaker 1 (56:27):
Oh my gosh.
Yes, thank you so much.
I am the owner of a vegan andcruelty-free hair and skincare
company called ethereal by loveit to you, and you can find that
on my website as well.
Thank you, paula.
Yes, I make all natural,handmade hair and skincare
products, so thank you mypleasure everybody.
Speaker 3 (56:43):
Thank you so much for hanging out with shit happen.
I hope you learned some shit oryou found some secrets about me
, because I really did sharesome shit in there.
You know and and hopefully yougot to some tips from um atia.
Go check out our podcast formore of all those amazing
experiences and all the shit,and I'm looking forward to
(57:04):
hearing that the episode withher father because, just like
you, I had my dad on my podcast.
I had my mom, and there's adifferent feel when you have
your parents and your podcasttalking to them about raising
you and all that life.
So I'm looking forward to that,but everybody else.
By the way, for those who don'tknow, I actually met Atiyah
last year at and we justconnected and she has been.
(57:24):
When I was going through myfire, she literally hired a mom
to help and be there and supportand that stays with me forever.
So this is the power ofcommunities and connections you
connect with people, it.
It starts with podcasts and itbecomes bigger than podcasts.
Speaker 1 (57:43):
So, yes, can I say one quick thing yeah, I just
wanted to give you your flowers.
You are one of the most vibrant, amazing people and, even
throughout all the childhoodtribulations, you have literally
remained true to yourself.
You've been very transparent,very vulnerable, and you deserve
all of the love and support theuniverse has to offer.
So thank you for creating thissafe space and allowing me to
(58:04):
talk my shit with you, paula.
So thank you you just.
You literally adopted me atpodcast and haven't let me go
since, and I love every minuteof it and I'm never letting you
go.
Speaker 3 (58:12):
And when the sex, when the sex toys are ready, a
sex company is ready, you'realways welcome back so we can
talk about the sex toys overhere.
I love you and y'all.
Good night.
Thank you for tuning in, loveyou.
Shit happens, shit, shithappens, shit, shit, shit, shit
(58:43):
happens, shit happens, shithappens, shit happens, shit
happens, shit happens, shithappens, shit happens.
explore my pleasure and know what it felt like to
(00:03):
bring myself to an orgasm andlittle did you know I was
already doing that but turnmyself to orgasm and to just
know what pleasure felt likewithout somebody else telling me
what it should feel like.
So she wanted.
She's like boys are allowed toexplore themselves all the time.
It's clap, clap, clap.
But then when young womenexplore themselves, it's such
shame.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
So she just wanted to remove that shame from me I
love that for you because thatthat is very true, like um, and
that's why years ago, even ifyou are magic, you've got to
(00:44):
agree it's worth it to talk shitout, no matter how messy shit
happens.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Shit happens.
Just an fyi, this episode wasrecorded february of 2024 and it
(01:24):
is now February of 2025.
But, figured, it's still worthsharing, especially now being
February, the month of love.
Be it self-love, self-pleasure,shared, whatever it is, I feel
(01:45):
like this episode is worth alisten for the perfect month of
February.
Enjoy.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
So everybody, welcome to.
Shit Happens.
This is my fourth one for theday and my last one.
Oh my God, this is going to beI'm glad it's like at night at
seven, because this is going tobe some freaky shit going on
tonight.
But this guest of mine is.
(02:11):
I hold her so dear.
Oh my God, I love this girl somuch.
I was so mad I didn't get tosee her this year at Port First
because I met her last year atPort First.
But let me go ahead and bringher on the stage.
Miss Love, it happens.
But let me go ahead and bringher on the stage.
Miss love, it happens.
What are you doing, baby?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
oh, look at you.
Now that I get to see yourbeautiful face, I'm doing so, so
so much better.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Look at that glow I don't know if it's the glow or
the lighting, but I'll take it.
How are you good?
I'm very good, I am.
Oh, no, we're gonna do that, Iam good.
I'm a little bit tired becauseyesterday I did not go to bed
(03:01):
until 4 am, and then I and thenI.
Can you hear?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
me.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Yes, but why 4 am?
Oh, I didn't know you weregetting a show.
And then I had to be up by 7 tobe in my clubhouse room.
Wish I was late, so.
And then, once I got up to bein the clubhouse room, I haven't
slept since because I kept onhaving.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
I had a shit happen at 11, then 12, then 3, then oh
my gosh, I'm so sorry that youdidn't get any sleep, but I'm
going to fill you up with lotsof energy, I promise oh, I
believe it, and that's whybecause it was you.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
I'm like I need that energy right now, but then again
I want to go to bed after that.
Well, I have my fourth Atlantameetup, which is happening right
now.
But as soon as I jump off this,I have to join them in the
meeting and then I can go tosleep.
But I also have to wake upearly so my newsletter can go
out, because I haven't sent mynewsletter two Fridays in a row
(04:07):
and I cannot do that to mypeople.
You know I, I know I'm givingmyself grace that it's okay
sometimes to miss, but also,like get, get back on that horse
, right?
I feel it, I definitelyunderstand so what you been up
to, how you been, how is you,costa Rica?
Where are you?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I'm in Mexico.
I'm in Mexico.
Yes, everything is good.
I'm grateful.
I've been trying to stay warmand just I think I'm gonna go to
the beach tomorrow.
You see, I wore my purple fortalk shit with Pete, okay, okay,
yes, but everything's been good.
Like like you, I've beenworking on my email blast and
newsletters and sex positivecontent, so I'm just trying to
(04:43):
stay on it.
I feel you about the givingyourself grace because that's so
and I love them.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Every time I see that the love experience coming on
my and them sexy pictures andthe toys and I'm like, okay, you
remind me to put my sex on mysexy on whenever I get those
newsletters.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
So thank you yes, of course that's the goal.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
I'm happy it inspired you so we're gonna get straight
jump right into it because youknow, um, queen of positive
pleasure and um, I love howopenly you are.
(05:30):
I know it can be very hard tobe to be that open in these
social media streets, becausenot everybody takes it that way
and there's a lot that comeswith it, you know.
So what made you decide to be apositive pleasure?
Like, how did you get into that?
I'm going to go empower womento own their pleasure, and you
(05:54):
know, I got you, okay.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
So the origin of my pleasure positivity was
definitely when I was 16, my mombought me my very first
vibrator.
Now I think that actually we'vebeen a pleasure positive like
home prior to that because mymom she literally bought me a
book from like the discoverystore of people like these
cartoons having sex, but itwasn't like pornographic, it was
(06:19):
educational, because she neverwanted me to believe that babies
came from the stork right.
So she had to give me like thevisual of like the two adults
and it explained everything inthe book for kids to be able to
understand.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
So I had the book, we'd have open discussions, I
was able to ask her aboutanything, and then I walked into
my room one day when I was 16and there was a big Hitachi
magic wand on my bed so she justleft it on the bed for you,
like no, like when I had this,like when I, when you first told
(06:50):
me you got it at 16, in my headI felt like maybe she came and
y'all sat down and she gave itto you and she was like you know
what you do with that, so itwas just waiting for you on the
bed.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
We have two different recollections of this right.
So my mom says that she warnedme about like not warned me, but
told me like she was going togive me this.
She gave you a heads up.
She gave me a heads up and Idon't doubt that, but I probably
just dissociated in the momentbecause I'm like she ain't got
no sex toy, you know what I'msaying.
Like whatever, like I at thetime.
So I was like, oh, hey, mom,but deep down inside I probably
really wanted it.
(07:23):
And then, yeah, she justsurprised me with it on my bed.
So I think that she did give mea warning.
I just don't remember it, but Ihad her on my podcast and she
definitely shared that.
She told me about it beforehand.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
So so, um, before you continue the story, well, I'm
curious.
When you found it on the bed,what, what, what was the next
thing you did?
Did, just, did you take it on aride right there and there,
because it was like it waspositioned ready for you to just
dive in, like you know, likewhen a man ties a bow on his
(07:55):
penis and you walk into the roomlike, okay, I'm just diving in.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
That's the energy that it gave you.
You would think that I woulduse it immediately, right, I did
not, paula.
I think I waited until, like Iwant to say, a year, but that's
really dragging it, but I Icannot remember when I used it
for the first time.
I know that I waited a while,though, because my mom she works
from home we're right next toeach other, like she was in the
(08:22):
other room right next to me andthe hatachi is loud.
So room right next to me andthe Hitachi is loud, so what was
I going to use it?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
You blessed the music .
I don't think I would have hadthe strength.
I would have gone right thereand there out of my curiosity,
probably out of my horniness aswell, and my hormones.
How do you wait?
You said probably a year.
That's some discipline overthere.
Then again, you have been on ajourney, uh, of uh what's the
(08:48):
word with my virginity.
Yeah, no celibacy.
You've been on a celibacy, yeah, so so you have that discipline
.
I don't know, man, I don't knowif I have that discipline.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I'm sorry yes, and also I was still a virgin at the
time.
I didn't have sex for the firsttime until I was 24, so I was
kind of used to like but weren'tyou playing with yourself?
I had masturbated before.
I definitely had with my hands.
I used to think that an orgasmwas when I just got wet.
So when I would arouse myselfand I would get wet, I was like
(09:27):
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
If only it was that easy, a lot of people would be
having all kinds of okay exactly, literally, yes, literally,
nope.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
I.
I kept going one day and I waslike, oh, but there's more that
comes with this, no pun intended.
And my mom, she told me shedidn't just like give me the
vibrator, right, she did, tellme.
I I think this might have beenafter the fact, but it could
have been before as well, like Isaid, you know blurred lines in
my head, but she definitelysaid the reason why she gave it
(10:00):
to me was because she wanted meto explore my pleasure and know
what it felt like to bringmyself to an orgasm.
And little did you know I wasalready doing that.
But to bring myself to orgasmand to just know what pleasure
felt like without somebody elsetelling me what it should feel
like so she wanted, she's likeboys are allowed to explore
themselves all the time it'sclap, clap, clap.
But then when young womenexplore themselves, it's such
(10:22):
shame.
So she just wanted to removethat shame for me.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
I love that for you because that that is very true.
Like um, and that's why yearsago, um, before I started talk,
she would be uh, I wanted tostart a sex podcast because I am
very, very, very, very, verysexual.
I talk about it, I do it.
(10:46):
That's why I love my podcastpeople.
That's one conference where Igo and sometimes I feel like I'm
in a sex con because there's somuch sex conversations and
podcasts and shit.
It's ridiculous.
I wanted to start a sex podcastbecause I loved exploring it and
(11:11):
then I would sit with myfriends and the way they would
talk about sex and they made itfeel like either it was a chore
or, as long as the man waspleased, they were okay, I'm
like, bro, you need to enjoy ittoo.
What do you mean?
I'm like, bro, you need toenjoy it too.
What do you mean?
Then it came to clear that nowonder I was always excited
about having sex or just beingwith somebody.
(11:32):
We are enjoying those moments.
And then my friends would belike, hey, this is what I want,
because this is what I want, notsex, but I'm like, but that's
what I want.
Like, what do you mean?
So I wanted to have.
But then again we were in Africa, we.
It was shameful Like those weretaboo conversations, but I grew
up in an environment that youknow it was.
(11:53):
It wasn't a taboo.
I'm grateful for my parents.
So I I talked a lot about itand I wanted to start a podcast
to tell people you, you areallowed to enjoy sex as a woman.
You can exclaim it, you cantell your man what you want.
You can try different things,like.
I remember the first time I hada sex I I I did a sex tape.
I literally wanted everybody tosee it, but I didn't.
(12:16):
But I didn't want to send it topeople, so I did a a sex like a
watch party for my sex that'sfucking amazing shit happens.
Look at, talk shit with me likefuck, yeah, well.
Well, I initially did becauseand that was the first white guy
(12:39):
I dated and everybody waslooking at me like you're dating
white guys, you know know, dothey really do that?
Are they really good?
I'm like, do you think I'll bewith somebody who's not
satisfying me over there, likecome on.
So when I did the sex set, likeI played it, but before even
the shit, like as soon as it wasover, people on their phone
trying to do the booty call andeverybody was doing it yeah, I
(13:05):
was like, oh my god, I'm soproud of myself.
Y'all got, yeah, but how many?
Um, it was six girls and then,uh, two boys were.
They were not in America sothey were on on FaceTime with me
but watching.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
I love that so much.
I feel like that's, that's likethe ultimate story, like a
watch party for this everybodyshould do that like because you
can't.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
You can't send it to people, people, might.
You never know where you mightfind it?
On this thing you're beingblackmailed.
So the only person who has thatcopy is him and me, and he's
white and far off from me.
So if he sends it to people,whatever, it's gonna take a long
time to surface back to mypeople, like, yeah, that's,
that's why I didn't even do asex tape with a tanzanian guy or
(13:59):
anything, because I was like noman, I don't trust y'all.
You know too many people, weknow.
You know boys want to share.
I'm like no.
So for me it was like I, I wasproud of myself, like I was
literally looking at myself andand sometimes I even watch it
and masturbate, like I still usethe tape that's what I'm
(14:20):
fucking talking about.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
That's that what I want to have.
I want to have a repertoire.
I want to have tapes of myselfthat I can get off to.
I love that for you.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
I know I created another one.
That one I haven't had thepleasure of hosting at Sexy
because it's kind of new.
It's like a year and a half old, it's new but it was caught on
the perfect moment because I wasliterally shooting my shitter,
(14:50):
I was quieting.
Yes, I'm so glad you decided torecord today, please.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
If you have a live party for that one, you better
invite me.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
I got you girl, I got you girl, I got you girl.
Let's get back to your story.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
I got a vibranium when I was 16.
I used that sucker afterwards,afterwards and then I couldn't
stop using it when I started,and then well, that is real.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
For the longest time I was scared of.
I started with playing withtoys way later in life because
for the longest time I did notwant to get addicted.
Because I saw people gettingand they're like fuck a dick,
I'm good, I'm like, no, I want adick, like I don't know, I
don't want just a dick.
(15:48):
So I stayed away from them forthat long, like literally the
first time I got a toy was whenmy friends three years ago when
I went to Texas on my birthdayand they were right across the
street where the sex shop wasand they bought me the, the
small vibrator, the one, thelike, the bullet, the bullet,
(16:10):
yes, yeah, oh, my god, beforethis ends, I remind me to share
a story about the bullet.
What happened to my bullet?
But, um, so once they bought methat and I started using it,
that's when I started openlyexploring with toys, but more
like I want to use them with apartner as well, not just by
myself, but but it took me awhile because of that.
(16:31):
Oh, you're gonna get addictedto it and no one dig what so was
.
Were you really addicted toyours?
Speaker 1 (16:37):
I was, because it was like a.
It was like a pleasure that Ihad, like, yes, I had dibbled
and dabbled with hand play,right, and so I had experienced
that there's nothing that's evergonna top my first orgasm that
I had with my hands, but thefirst orgasm that I had with my
toy.
It's not even like you want tokeep achieving that, but it's
just like this shit made me feelgood for a very long time.
So then, yeah, I kept using itand then I went to buy my own,
(16:59):
but I didn't know about likebody safe, silicone and all this
stuff.
I got like a plastic toy fromfreaking Spencer's for like $20
all I could afford.
Mind you, the Hitachi was like$80 to $100.
I'm like, oh, my mom invested,but me I was like I'm getting a
cheap one fast forward.
Um, I got into my firstrelationship.
I had sex for the first timewhen I was 24 and then I felt
(17:23):
like the way that you said thatyou know, you thought you're
going to be addicted to the sextoys.
I thought I was going to beaddicted to the d because that's
what everyone told me.
Everybody literally said you'regoing to be addicted to having
sex.
That wasn't my experience, so Idecided to go on tiktok,
started talking about first timeI had sex, things that I wish I
knew, things that I wish that Ididn't really consider that
(17:45):
other people had told me.
And then that video went viral.
I got like 3 million views onit.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
People started asking me so many questions and that
was the real beginning of theend so when you decided to make
that video, when you worriedabout the you know the trolls
and because for some reason,when a woman talks about sex,
(18:12):
instantly we are labeled aswhores or something just by
talking about it.
But men can talk about it.
Men can actually fuck whores.
Men can do whatever and theywant.
Like you know, it's a pretty.
So when you have a concernabout that or how did you?
If you were how did you getthrough that concern and be like
fuck it man.
It is what it is well, twothings.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
That's a great question.
One is I'm an animal activist,so I'm very used to dealing with
trolls.
I've been dealing with them fora very, very long time, so I
wasn't worried about peopletrolling people for whatever
reason.
I like to make my life be alittle bit complicated, so I
like to pick really taboo topicsto talk about, right like
animal abuse and like sex, um,and these are things that we
should talk about, right likeanimals should have rights,
(18:56):
people should have sex if theywant to, right, but I, um, or
people, should experiencepleasure.
At least it's not even aboutsex.
So, yeah, I just I guess Ididn't really have the fear of
what people were going to thinkand what people were going to
say because I was already sovocal about so many other taboo
things.
It's like what else can you comeat me for?
So, and I also knew that ifpeople came at me, it was just
because of internal strugglesthey were having within
(19:18):
themselves and I can't doanything about that.
But I can foster a safe spacefor those who are curious and
those who do want to explore.
Let their guard down.
So yeah, I was like fuck thehaters I.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
I'm glad because I know a lot of people end up
quitting doing talking aboutthings they're passionate about
because I don't know if they arenot strong enough to deal with
that shit, because to me, Ialways have this mindset you can
do it.
Whether you do it or not,people are always going to find
something to talk about you, todiscuss about you, to pinpoint
(19:50):
about you, so might as well givethem something to talk about
that I actually fucking fuckwith.
If you're going to use yourairtime, might as well use it
for something that I want outthere.
Bring on the engagement, bringon the hate, like you know a lot
(20:11):
of people, because it can alsobe challenging.
I get, sometimes it can get toomuch.
Like I know me and you, we takesocial media breaks because
sometimes it is too much.
You know like, yeah, how do youhandle when it is too much,
especially, first of all, beforewe get to that, have you ever,
(20:31):
now that you're out there andtalking about your, your sexual
pleasures and discussing allthese things, right?
Um, do you get hit on a lot onsocial media because of that?
Speaker 1 (20:43):
wow.
So it's really interesting thatyou asked that.
Right, and I really have to goback in my head because I
actually feel like I was gettinga lot more advances pushed on
me when I was still having sex.
Right, because I think that theenergy that I was giving in
some of my posts was like I wantthe dick, so I think that some
(21:04):
people were feeling that.
But then when I was celibate,there was still people in my
inbox sending multiple DMs backto back to back.
Oh, this is what I would do toyou, like unsolicited, really
graphic stuff where it almostfeels like a virtual assault,
right.
It's like like there was oneguy who was literally rhyming
and he was what did he say?
He's like I'd like to raft onthat.
(21:26):
No, he's like I want you toraft on this shaft, or something
like that.
I was like is this dr sooth xxx?
So yeah, I definitely still,whether I'm having sex, whether
I'm celibate, I definitely havepeople in my inbox wanting to
make advances and and evenpeople where I'm like there was.
There was somebody who I didn'teven know that they liked, they
liked women, to be completelyhonest with you, and then so I'm
(21:48):
having a casual conversationwith them and then they just
start talking about sex with mebut not like, oh, let me ask
this.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
That's full on hitting on me and I'm like this
conversation was going to go,you know they probably listen to
to your podcast and they'veheard you say something like
damn Becca goes down like that.
I want a piece of that.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
You know what else has been really creepy?
If I was with a guy one timethat had just followed me on
TikTok.
We we had messed around like ayear before and then I had just
posted and I was like, yeah, Ilove when, like, I'm in bed and
a guy is like, oh yeah, you likethat, you like that or
something like that, right, andthen because that's not even
what I really like, but like itwas something in that realm, and
(22:34):
then he, when I was with himthat night, he did that and I
was like he didn't have sense,we mutually masturbated and he
was like, oh yeah, I checkedyour TikTok to see if you were
still talking about me.
You're a stalker.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
I was going to ask the people you date why is it
that you're going to share someof the experiences with them
over there, or maybe use some ofthe stuff you've shared over
there?
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Absolutely.
I know that they're scared.
I really think that plays afactor in why I haven't
necessarily really been datingfor the last two years.
Granted, a lot of things havechanged in my life and I've made
the active decision not to likelook for somebody.
But I definitely know thatpeople are scared to mess around
with me.
Or when we did mess around,they like were trying to prove
(23:30):
something, like oh yeah, I'mgoing to be the one that makes
her come, and it's like becausethey've listened to your podcast
, so they've heard you complainabout certain things.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Because I can't imagine imagine if I was like I
came and we fucked and shit, andthen in my head I'm thinking
man together.
And then next thing I listen toyour episode and you're talking
about some.
So last week, right, and Ididn't, yeah, and you're talking
(24:01):
about some.
So that's sweet, right, okay,and he tried his best, though,
and you know, I give him thatBecause one thing I'm going to
do is give a little credit.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
I don't want to hurt feelings.
Positive affirmations he didhis best.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Three stars on trying .
But imagine I'm there listeninglike dang it, and here I was,
leaving that house feeling likeI'm not boosting egos anymore,
paula.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
I refuse like the next time?
Speaker 3 (24:43):
I wouldn't either, because the whole point of the,
in my understanding, the wholepoint of the love attire
experience is literally yourexperience and you are
discussing it and you are, incase, somebody else who has been
through that experience.
You are sharing how to go aboutit next time or how to avoid so
(25:04):
it.
You, you have to share yourexperience in order to get to
the point of how to to go aboutit.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
So you know literally exactly, so we can all just
experiment together.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Don't be judged, this is not a critique, it's just,
you know, an observation of oursexual encounter, the person
who's gonna date, she just hasto have balls.
Whether it's a woman, like they, just have to have balls and
understand, it's no personal.
But for me I feel like you knowyou're getting reviewed so you
can do better and become better.
Like all of us in our lives, weget reviewed, right we, either
(25:40):
by ourselves or by people.
We we have to grow.
So how are you going to growsexually if I'm not reviewing
you Exactly?
Speaker 1 (25:48):
And anything that I'm going to say on the podcast I'm
going to say to your face.
So I'm going to say it to youin the moment, cause I'm working
on that too right.
Like it's been two years sinceI've had sex, but I do have
these like rules and things thatI want to implement during my
next sexual activity and that'sgoing to be communicating in the
moment.
Like I loved this Next thinglet's maybe try this.
Did you like this?
You know, like whatever.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
So Are you also going to communicate?
By the way, I'm going to On mynext episode, I'm going to talk
about this, or is that gonna belike a surprise element?
You know?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
because I feel like if I'm really feeling, you
believe it or not I'm actually asacred person, right.
So like if I enjoy something, Iactually don't want everybody
to know I'm getting good dick,or good because you know, or
good vulva, because then y'alldon't want it.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
So so when it's good you, you shut your mouth, just
share, as I said, but we're okay.
So if you ever made it to to,if there's an episode about
something over there, about you,just know, baby, you were not
that good, that's why you're onthat exactly.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
If mom's the word, then all is well.
Now I have had situations whereafter the fact, after I stopped
talking to the person, then Ido share.
Oh, this was the best, like my,my first lesbian experience was
what, the best sexualexperience I've ever had?
Um, but I talked about it afterthe fact, I suppose, like if I
was still having, was in herpool, like you know.
So, um, why, why do you thinklike, uh, it was important for
(27:30):
you to um to remove the shameand stigma surrounding pleasure.
I feel like it's important forme, because the opposite of
pleasure to me is likedispleasure right, like not
feeling pleasure at all.
And pleasure can be thingsoutside of sex and intimacy.
(27:50):
Pleasure can be just you beingintimate with yourself, outside
of masturbation.
You can paint and feel pleasure.
You can listen to music.
I feel so much pleasure when Ilisten to music, when I dance,
and so the fact that it's such ataboo thing for somebody to
feel good because of the organsthat they have within them being
stimulated and it's like, likeyou said, you know cis hetero
(28:11):
men, oh, pleasure is fine forthem.
No, that's the goal.
Like we see that in the mediaand all this stuff.
But then anybody outside of cishetero men, it's a problem.
Gay men people demonize theirsexual activities.
Gay women unless you canfetishize it, then it's okay.
Then if I can watch it andparticipate in it as a man, then
it's okay.
So it just really felt like Iwas going against the patriarchy
(28:33):
by fighting for pleasure andit's just a passion of mine.
I feel like back in the day,people with vulvas used to have
leeches.
Like men would put leeches onthe vulvas of people yes, in the
50s, mind you, not evenliterally just the 50s Because
they didn't want women to feelpleasure and if they did, they
(28:54):
would consider them to behysterical, so they put them in
psych wards and mental hospitalsand then do the leech thing or
you know just certain things.
That pleasure is just sointimidating to man.
I felt like it was somethingthat's worth fighting for.
So, yeah, and it causes suchshame, and a lack of
conversation can lead to so muchtrauma.
Or if you experience trauma,you feel so much shame about the
(29:17):
trauma because no one's talkingabout it.
But then once we all start kindof talking about it, we're like
wait, you had that experiencetoo, and you had that experience
too.
You feel so much harmony.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
So I'm just trying to bring the harmony back into the
world with pleasure it's sotrue, so true, and it's amazing
how many women out there feelthey don't deserve to to
experience.
But when you were talking about, pleasure could be anything.
Let me share this story.
When I was at Port First, right, I was at the Owl booth and I
(29:46):
was interviewing, right.
So I was sitting there and Ihad this incredible man yo, this
man's swag was full on.
He was sitting in the middleand then the lady next to her,
uh, she was a pleasure and touchsomething you know.
(30:06):
So we were like oh, pleasure.
So everybody in their mind,pleasure.
They immediately went to sexualpleasure.
So, of course, you know youhave talk shit with p over there
and we go and talk some shit.
So so we were talking, we weretalking.
The next thing everybody heard,literally everybody stopped
because we were the last boothand we were recording live and
(30:29):
people started jumping in.
Did I hear pleasure?
Did I hear sex?
And then the girl goes and waslike you know, pleasure doesn't
have to be sexual.
Just imagine a mango right,ripping off, like you just
washed it, and the water isdripping and you're looking at
it and somebody's putting it inher mouth.
(30:50):
Everybody was like but that'ssexual.
You know what I mean Wash bones, wash bones.
She was like, okay, maybe,maybe I choose the wrong, the
(31:10):
wrong food, so let's tryabsolutely.
Next up is a banana and aneggplant but I don't know if
eggplant works, because, oh yeah, you know what?
Oh God, it's been a minute, soI might be calling some people
(31:35):
for this live, okay.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
That's what I'm saying.
Call them up, pull up theroster.
Okay, I can't talk.
I have a whole box of sex toysin that, um, in that been
waiting to be used, cause it'sbeen a while.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
So in your celibacy you're also not pleasuring
yourself, or?
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Um sex, no, just sex with other people.
I'm definitely having sex withmyself.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
I would have been so impressive.
I would have shipped you a manLike I would have told you to
tell me the type of man or womanyou want and I would have
shipped them to you, becausewhat's that?
Speaker 1 (32:21):
No no In the definition of celibacy.
I don't even know, I looked itup but I didn't retain it.
But I know that my therapisttold me that technically of
celibacy I I don't even, I don'teven, I didn't even I looked it
up but I didn't retain it.
But I know that my therapisttold me that technically,
celibacy is without sex, withoutpleasuring yourself as well.
She also said you can make upyour own rules.
So I took that part of what shesaid.
I was like, okay, bet, yeah,we're gonna take this in on the
(32:41):
bit.
Speaker 3 (32:42):
So yeah, have you ever watched Girlfriends?
Yes, I love Girlfriends.
You remember when Lynn wasdating that guy, the poet, who
was celibate, and Lynn was thehoe of the group, right, she was
always horny already and shewould change.
(33:04):
She was like baby Lynn.
You know I can't Baby.
So she would say she's likebaby.
I mean, you know I kind of baby.
So what got you into thecelibacy journey?
What made you decide to takethat moment to and what outcome
are you hoping from this journey?
Because I believe when peopletake this journey it's more
personal.
So unless you just woke up andsaid, fuck niggas, bitches, I'm
(33:32):
down, I'm closing shop for aminute, no, yeah, I think that
um the the defining point for mewas obviously the celibacy
started very unintentionally, soI wasn't like I'm gonna be
celibate today, starting now.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Um, it was very unintentional.
I had sex with someone and andin the in the time, I convinced
myself that I wanted to have sexwith this person.
After the fact, right.
But looking back on it andlearning certain words like
coercion and certain things likethat, I learned that it
definitely was not the mostconsensual experience.
And then, right after that,literally a week after that, I
(34:09):
had sex with someone who Iwanted to have sex with for a
really long time and thatexperience brought me so much
pleasure.
I felt cared about and all thisstuff.
But then I'm like damn girl,you're wilding like two in one
week, like what's your pH aboutto be like?
So I couldn't really findanybody after that that aligned
with my beliefs about gettingtested.
(34:30):
And there was one guy.
I was bold.
I looked up to him in public wewere at this event asking for
his Instagram.
We're chatting back and forth,blah, blah, blah, and he was
taking forever to go get tested.
Like I told him, this is myrequirement.
I had sex with those two peoplein January and then got tested
in April after I had sex with awoman, and I was like all right,
this is just a lot.
And then long story short.
(34:52):
I think the universe just kindof pushed me into it.
Finally, I think around thetime that me and my dad started
mending our relationship waswhen I decided like, oh, I think
I'm going to commit to thecelibacy, like life's been great
.
I did endure some more traumathat year, so I think that that
also just had me reconfigureeverything sexually in my life,
like just trying to figurethings out with that.
(35:13):
But yeah, I think that me andmy dad's relationship healing
definitely was an imperativepart of me.
Not trying to fill holesinternally like voids.
Trying to fill voids, thatsounds crazy, trying to fill
voids, um.
And instead I got to refocusthat energy on myself with my
celibacy so once I gave into thecelibacy.
It was great time passed.
(35:34):
I had so much fun.
I started learning more aboutit, learning more about the
benefits.
I started being able to seemyself more.
I wasn't allowing men todistract me anymore.
It was a lot.
So, yeah, now here I am, twoyears later, and my goal my goal
is to be so assured withinmyself and within my sexuality
and my sensuality, because I'mstill finding it right.
People think I'm so pleasure,pleasure, confident, and I am
(35:57):
with myself, but with a partner.
Even with myself, I still haveroom to grow, but with a partner
there's still certain triggersand certain things for me.
Like, motherfucker, if I tellyou that this hurts and you
don't stop, I'm going to stabyou and like it won't be fatal.
But I will have to just prove apoint, like if I, you know
(36:17):
little things like that, I feellike that's why I still need
healing.
I'm not going to stab somebody.
I feel like it's okay to starthaving sex again, but I really
want each sexual experience.
I have to be having sex again,but I really want each sexual
experience.
I have to be very intimate,very filled with love.
I want to be cared about.
It's been hard to find a sexualpartner to care about me for a
while.
So yeah, the goal is to be soin tune with myself and with my
(36:41):
body that I feel connected andhave the trust in my discernment
to be able to share that energywith somebody else or with
other multiple people, who knows?
Speaker 3 (36:51):
That's beautiful Cause and I love that you're.
You're learning about yourselfand what you want, because
that's important, right?
Especially, people forget theperson you, you, you sleep with,
you, you share the shit is shit.
They're inside of you.
So that's energy transfer.
(37:12):
Right, sex is fun and shit, butthat's energy transfer.
So sometimes you'retransferring fucked up energy
into you exactly literally.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
So yeah, definitely have to be very aware of the
energy transfer definitely so Iwas gonna ask you something, oh
my god.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
So, yeah, definitely have to be very aware of the
energy transfer, definitely, soI was going to ask you something
.
Oh my God, you're making melose my.
What's your favorite toy rightnow?
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Oh, my favorite toy is very easy, it's called the
nami by fern.
I got it from this.
Uh, it's a black owned sex toyshop called shops adore and it
literally has a suction on thetop and then vibration on the
bottom.
But it's like the shape of likean l, I guess, but like an l
with hips did you?
Speaker 3 (38:05):
did you have it with you?
Uh, I don't know where you are,a few somewhere in january
where you were in a hotel andyou were doing, and was it one
of the toys you had?
Speaker 1 (38:17):
yes, it's the blue toy.
When I was in las vegas, I wasat the tech convention yep yeah
yeah yeah, I saw it and I waslike because I started imagining
it.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
So I was like because I started imagining it.
So I was like, ok, because youknow what, there's certain
things I listen to you and thenthere's certain things I don't.
Because when you startedtalking about no, not in a bad
way, like no, when you startedtalking about I know because I
am, so I am not trying this shit, I do not want you were like.
There are ways where I was likeI am listening to this shit.
(38:47):
There's nothing you can tell methat will make me wanna go do
no, no, no, I was like I lovethis girl and I want to support
by into listening because she'sabout to change my mind on shit.
Because, because you know,sometimes when you really
(39:09):
certain people will talk in away and you'll be like you know
what, maybe she's on tosomething, maybe I should, so
you talk that way where you getme excited to God.
So I'm like, no, I ain't goingto listen, because that back
door is going to stay shut.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
No, that was just for people who were curious about
it and just for people who maybejust wanted to try anal, didn't
know what to do, and I hadteamed up with um, a toy company
, as well, and they gave me,like this, with this new, like
technology and I was like oh,wow, this could make it.
This can have a little razzledazzle, but I totally get it.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
Everything's not for everybody I love, love how you
have worked your podcast, thatyou actually team up with a lot
of sex shops and support them.
So that's impressive.
Because is that like asponsorship program or just an
(40:06):
affiliate?
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Some of them, like Shops Adore, that's an affiliate
program so I'd be like, oh, usemy code and then you get 15 off
.
So usually those you can tellif it has a code nine times out
of ten.
Um, that's the hard part,honestly, about being a black
creator is that I have reachedout to so many toy brands for
paid promotions and and you knowthere are.
There are white influencers outthere who can record one video
and make $10,000 for that video.
(40:32):
People were coming up to melike we'll give you $200 for
five videos on TikTok, fivevideos on Instagram, five videos
on YouTube.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
Do you know how to text create a video Like Thank
you, everything that goes to it.
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
You have to edit it, shoot it, have the toy, learn
about the toy, research the toy,use the toy, have your
testimonial, find the sound,find the good light, all this
stuff.
I mean 9 times out of 10,.
They won't even want to payBlack creators.
They'll just want to give youtoys or give you a gifted
product and then that's it, likeyou don't even make commission
off the sales.
None of that.
This is this, is it so?
(41:13):
So, yeah, usually nine out often it's affiliate, um, or it's
a product that is really loved,or it might be for a paid
promotion, but not, I'll justsay, not what other non people
of color creators are making, ifthat makes sense.
Speaker 3 (41:27):
Yeah, it's the reality of the world we live in,
right?
Speaker 1 (41:32):
Yeah, and I'm starting my own sex play company
, and so I'm looking forward tobeing able to hire people of
color and influencers and paythem their rates and you know
what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
At least pay a fair rate, I am here to be an
ambassador, okay.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
You already know you're on the top of my list,
please.
Speaker 3 (41:56):
I was an official official ambassador for Mopad,
an official officialphotographer for Mopad, an
official official ambassador forEverybody was like how many
ambassadorships do you want?
I'm like bring all of them,bring all of them, all of them,
I want all of them.
I really missed your podcast.
(42:17):
We had too much fun.
Michelle brought a sex toolbox.
I'm about to be posting those.
They tied me up, they gagged meup, they gagged me up.
I ended up coming back homewith a gag ball because they
were like this is how we'regoing to shut Paula up.
Finally, paula is not going totalk, so there are videos and
(42:40):
pictures.
They'll be posted sometime thisweek.
So these are some of my toys.
Oh, that's the rose.
I love the rose.
I love the rose.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
I tried this one before with the tongue.
Do you like it?
Oh my God this Baby.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
It be doing a damn thing.
It be free.
I just use this side.
It just be going like this, andwhen you find the perfect spot
(43:18):
for it, it will be like oh, myGod oh, my god, I'm curious
because I already know you andyour mom are very cool and I
love your mom.
Shout out to your mom and um, soI know she, she, she, she
(43:41):
understands your podcast.
I mean, she's been a guest onyour podcast.
What about your other familymembers, or your dad?
How do they think about you?
Because I know there's someepisodes when I do, because my
dad is such a a supporter, butlike when I did that episode
with accidental singers and I'mtalking about masturbating to
this episode and then like eventhis I wouldn't want my dad to
(44:02):
watch because I don't know if Iwant him to know, like my sexual
, so I tell him don't.
But you, you have an entirepodcast which is literally all
about your sexual experience.
So maybe they think about youputting your because you know
black folks they'll be like whyare you putting your business
out in the street?
Yup.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
Literally, literally.
It's so crazy.
You say that because, believeit or not, I actually had my dad
on my podcast two days ago.
He came to Mexico and shot withme in my room and we literally
recorded a three-hour episode.
So of course I'm going to besplendid up, but we talked for
three hours, paula, aboutfather-daughter relationships,
(44:45):
raising a daughter like advicehe would give to other fathers,
the ebbs and flows of ourrelationship, his relationship
with my mom, um, his currentmarriage now.
So many just beautiful,transparent conversations, um.
But he did say that at first hetried to listen to my first
episode.
He said he didn't make it.
But like five minutes in it waslike like I cannot do this.
(45:06):
But he said now that he's beenon the show and he just has to
look at it from a differentmindset, if that's okay.
And like and fast forward, likeif you don't want to hear about
me sucking dick, fast forwardto the part where I talk about
sensei touch.
You know what I'm saying.
Like, I try to have aneducational component in in
every story, but I do remember,like he told me his like have
(45:27):
aunts and uncles.
Um.
And then I have like play aunts, play uncles, but still aunts
and uncles, and they would reachout to him like, did you hear
Tia's last episode?
Speaker 3 (45:35):
like you know, like they're shaming me, they're just
you know because the aunts arelike you know what your daughter
out to did.
You listen to her, but in aplayful way, not in a like do
you know what your daughter isdoing on the streets?
Speaker 1 (45:52):
Literally, exactly Not in a judgmental way at all.
Literally a playful way they betuning in.
I had a?
Um, my aunties come up to meall the time like, well, let me
tell you about this sex story ofmine and you tell me what you
think.
Literally, I'll be in a vanwith my aunts and they're
spilling all the tea about sex.
I'm like, okay, that's fine, Ilove it here.
This is a safe space for us all.
So I have to make sure that Idon't like react in any kind of
(46:15):
way that would make them thinkthat I'm judging them or
anything, because I'm literallynot.
Like it's nice to actually beincluded in adult conversations.
So, yeah, they're verysupportive.
Speaker 3 (46:31):
And I love talking to all the like, different age of
people and their sexualexperience, and that's why I
like portfels, because atportfels I would literally be in
a group with 50 old men andwomen and then 30, 80, and we
will literally be talking aboutsex and fucking and shit, like
in a 10-way one, and I'm lookingaround and I'm like then he's
50, she's 80 like, but we areall and you hear different
experiences, what they wentthrough, and it's just, it's an
(46:53):
eye opening to be like, oh damn,so that's what you guys were
doing back in the day.
Okay, what exactly is that?
You know?
Tell me about that.
You know, yes, you get todiscover people in a different
light, because sometimes youthink people are so like, oh,
and then when they start talkingabout their sexual experience,
(47:14):
you're like man, okay, you go go, okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
You sound like there'd be some undercover
freaks too, or like my auntiesthat go to church too, like or
like my aunties that go tochurch, I I, I hope your pastor
(47:42):
is not tuning into your who arelike, have been deep in church
and they were having sex andthey were like 13, 12, like it
is no problem with that, butlike the church girls were
always the ones that I knew likeI see your church girl and I
and suddenly I had sex a littlebit way, way, way out, and for
(48:03):
the longest time I didn't takesex as serious.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
I was just like I just want to do the thing.
I think maybe that's how Iended up getting very good at it
.
Now I'm very particular withI'd rather be funny and not
getting dick for two months, butnot just getting dick just from
anybody.
I came to this phase and I'mglad because in my younger, in
(48:29):
my teens, I did what I needed todo, like, yeah, I was on the
streets and and I did it, andand now I'm in this place where,
to me, if I'm not connected toyou, like you can be hot as fuck
and I can say, oh, my god,you're so hot, but if I'm not
connecting to you, like I ain'tgonna fuck you, like that's
forgiven, like it's nothappening.
(48:51):
So do you think that you'redemisexual?
I could be, I'm not sure, butthere's no connection and I
think, um, my, my, my lastrelationship.
Like I haven't been in a, in ain a relationship since 2020.
Like I have dated and I, I'vehad my, my, my, my play partner.
(49:14):
Like you know nothing serious,we play, but I haven't been in a
relationship since 2020 andthat was such a like a summit
kind of relationship which wasso deep and once I like it took
me like I've been in this rollercoaster of journey of
recovering from it, but I alsoknew like connection I had and
(49:37):
the deep end of it.
It made everything, even thesex, good, everything like it
was.
It also made the fights toxic,like right, yeah, because it's
so.
I knew that I wanted somethingdeeper and something meaningful.
If I'm sleeping with somebody,I love that.
Speaker 1 (49:56):
I feel that so deeply too.
I cannot get off without aconnection.
That's why I actually do ademisexual, because I didn't
have a word for it and then mytherapist had was like have you
ever heard of demisexuality?
And literally it's likesapiosexuality, but with a
connection.
As opposed to with sapiosexuals, you have to be connected
mentally, and with demisexualsyou have to be connected
emotionally and in all aspects.
(50:18):
Just there has to be a deepconnection to be able to enjoy
it.
So I feel that oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (50:23):
So, as we're coming to an end of this, how do you
create a safe space for curiousminds to be explored, and all
that Because we always talkabout we want a safe space, we
have a safe space, so what'syour way of creating that safe
(50:47):
space?
Speaker 1 (50:47):
for all these people like us to come in and share our
sexual pleasures.
I love it.
I think that I know on my, onmy poster for my podcast, I say
like my, a safe space for likemy safe space, and then our safe
space or something like that.
But I wanted to make sure itwas a safe space for myself
first, right, because TikTok andInstagram didn't necessarily
feel like it was the safestspace.
I couldn't really curate whatother people were going to
comment and say.
(51:08):
But then I think that for meafter that, I wanted to make
sure there was no judgment.
And if there was judgmentbecause I know that we're human
to catch it right, because we'vebeen so conditioned, so it's
not even really our judgment,it's the stuff society has put
in our head.
So I wanted to make sure that Imade it known that I'm I don't
know it all right and I think ifthat helps also, people feel a
(51:29):
bit more vulnerable because it'slike oh okay, so she's keep on
learning with you all, as I'mteaching you all exactly.
We're literally learningtogether.
So, yeah, I think those are thetwo biggest components learning
together, being transparentabout that, the fact that I
don't know it all beingtransparent as a whole, and
being vulnerable with my shit.
I talk about smelly vaginas.
You know what I'm saying.
I talk about literallyeverything under the sun that is
(51:50):
like real taboo, allegedly.
And then, um, yeah, just not nojudgment, because because we're
all learning like nobody wasborn knowing this.
So I think that that's reallyhow I call today and let's give
love.
I just want to.
Just give love, I want to letlet you know.
Speaker 3 (52:06):
You do.
You do that.
You do that Like.
Even your videos are so bubbly,even if you're talking about
something like you feel likevery bubbly and welcoming, so I
love that.
But before I let you cut outyour podcast and all that, let
(52:27):
me share my bullet story realquick.
So one day, right, I woke up inthe morning.
I'm always very horny in themorning, so I was horny and I
was about to get ready to go towork.
At this time I was working inhome goods retail store.
So I took my bullet and I waslike let me muster up real quick
so that I can go shower and getready.
So how about?
The bullet went all the wayinside my vagina, right, it went
(52:50):
all the way in.
So I'm texting my manager.
I'm like yo, how the fuck doyou take out a bullet out of
your vagina, right?
So she started laughing.
She's like what the fuck youmean?
I'm like I was trying toquickly masturbate before I come
.
I went in, but it feels so goodbecause the vibration was still
on and it was inside of me.
I was like but it feels so good, so take your time researching
(53:12):
while I kind of get off and shetried everything and we felt I
was like, oh my god, I'm goingto walk buzzing in there because
that shit was still buzzing.
I was like, okay, let's goshower, maybe it will turn off
and whatever happens.
Then I go, as I'm going toshower, I pee and it slides out.
(53:33):
I'm like all it took was mepeeing and it went down the
drain.
I'm like I'm not picking thatshit up Like we're done.
We're done.
So that's how my bullet died,dressed in peace.
But it was such a goodexperience.
I was like if I I ever buy abullet, I'll be putting it
inside there by myself, justlike while that's in there
(53:53):
vibrating.
And you're kind of like.
I went to work smiling andhappy, like, yeah, before we go
brag about your podcast, this isthe time where you tell people
about your podcast, about allthe amazing things you do, what
(54:14):
they should look forward to,what they need.
They can connect with you.
And one advice on those peoplewho are able or willing or
feeling shame or the stigma ofpleasuring themselves how to get
to pleasure themselveswholeheartedly.
Speaker 1 (54:32):
Okay, all right, so I'll end with the advice.
So my plugs are you can catchme on the Love A Tia Experience
podcast on every single podcaststreaming platform that there is
.
I also have a YouTube channel.
On YouTube I'm iloveatia.
On TikTok.
I'm iloveatia.
I also have a YouTube channelOn YouTube.
I'm ilovetia On TikTok.
I'm ilovetia.
I also have another TikTok formy podcast page with the Lovetia
(54:52):
Experience podcast Instagram.
I'm just lovetia.
No, I just lovetia.
Check out my website, lovetiacom, where you can sign up for my
blog.
I have a free pleasure positiveemail blast that goes out once
a month with pleasure tips.
I have sex toy coupons andstuff like that.
I have a sex toy company comingout very soon so you can follow
(55:12):
me to stay up on that.
Yes, I'm so excited.
And check me out on Patreon.
I have a virtual slumber partycoming up.
I'm so, so, so excited.
And Patreon is where you canget all of my uncensored content
, because I'm still beingcensored on all these social
media sites.
So if you want the real tea, mypodcast and Patreon and my
website are the places to go,and the piece of advice that I
(55:34):
would give to somebody who isstruggling or wants to begin
practicing self-pleasure wouldbe.
Be patient with yourself.
Do a lot of writing and writedown what those thoughts are in
your head.
What's holding you back frombeing able to reach this peak?
What shame.
And write the shame out Like oh, I feel like my vulva's ugly.
I feel like my vulva smells.
(55:54):
You know, write out the thingsthat feel kind of weird to say,
and once you get it out, you'llsee that it feels kind of like
oh, this isn't that bad, youknow.
And then just not just, butpractice falling in love with
yourself every day.
It doesn't have to bemasturbation that brings you
pleasure.
Find things that bring youpleasure and that might awaken
something within you that thenleads you to wanting to sexually
(56:16):
gratify yourself with pants orwith a dress.
Speaker 3 (56:20):
Thank you very much.
You forgot to mention one thing.
You know you're a power womanand you're not mentioning your
other products.
You do have oil, right.
Speaker 1 (56:27):
Oh my gosh.
Yes, thank you so much.
I am the owner of a vegan andcruelty-free hair and skincare
company called ethereal by loveit to you, and you can find that
on my website as well.
Thank you, paula.
Yes, I make all natural,handmade hair and skincare
products, so thank you mypleasure everybody.
Speaker 3 (56:43):
Thank you so much for hanging out with shit happen.
I hope you learned some shit oryou found some secrets about me
, because I really did sharesome shit in there.
You know and and hopefully yougot to some tips from um atia.
Go check out our podcast formore of all those amazing
experiences and all the shit,and I'm looking forward to
(57:04):
hearing that the episode withher father because, just like
you, I had my dad on my podcast.
I had my mom, and there's adifferent feel when you have
your parents and your podcasttalking to them about raising
you and all that life.
So I'm looking forward to that,but everybody else.
By the way, for those who don'tknow, I actually met Atiyah
last year at and we justconnected and she has been.
(57:24):
When I was going through myfire, she literally hired a mom
to help and be there and supportand that stays with me forever.
So this is the power ofcommunities and connections you
connect with people, it.
It starts with podcasts and itbecomes bigger than podcasts.
Speaker 1 (57:43):
So, yes, can I say one quick thing yeah, I just
wanted to give you your flowers.
You are one of the most vibrant, amazing people and, even
throughout all the childhoodtribulations, you have literally
remained true to yourself.
You've been very transparent,very vulnerable, and you deserve
all of the love and support theuniverse has to offer.
So thank you for creating thissafe space and allowing me to
(58:04):
talk my shit with you, paula.
So thank you you just.
You literally adopted me atpodcast and haven't let me go
since, and I love every minuteof it and I'm never letting you
go.
Speaker 3 (58:12):
And when the sex, when the sex toys are ready, a
sex company is ready, you'realways welcome back so we can
talk about the sex toys overhere.
I love you and y'all.
Good night.
Thank you for tuning in, loveyou.
Shit happens, shit, shithappens, shit, shit, shit, shit
(58:43):
happens, shit happens, shithappens, shit happens, shit
happens, shit happens, shithappens, shit happens.
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