December 3, 2025 • 41 mins
In this episode, Kristen welcomes back Alexis to talk all things planning, goal setting, and making the most of everyday life. They dive into strategies for achieving personal and professional goals, the importance of meal planning, and finding balance amidst chaos. Alexis shares her unique approach to goal setting, from reflecting on the past year to using a planner as a tool for focus and perspective. They also discuss how unexpected life events, like job changes, can lead to surprising opportunities and growth. Kristen and Alexis offer practical advice for anyone feeling overwhelmed by planning, including how to start small, stay flexible, and prioritize what truly matters. And of course, no episode would be complete without Kristen sharing her heartfelt admiration for Mark Daigneault and her excited persistence to get him as a guest on the podcast someday.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Kristen (00:02):
Welcome to season two of Talk with Kristen with an E.
This season, we're digging alittle deeper into leadership,
personal growth, and the courageit takes to follow your passion.
Real conversations, honestreflections, because life isn't
perfect and neither are we.
(00:26):
Hey everybody, welcome back.
So excited today because notonly has it been a minute since
there's been an episode, it'sbeen an even longer minute since
we had on my guest today soeverybody please welcome back to
our show, Alexis.
Hi Alexis.
(00:47):
Hi.
It's so good to be back.
Oh, it's been a while.
Alexis and I were just catchingup because we've both been busy
doing our own things and lifehas been in front of us it's a
really great time to catch upbecause we are talking about.
Planning and planners and goalsand how we get through the day
(01:07):
and achieve the goals that wehave.
This is a great time becausewe're coming to the end of the
year and people are looking backat all they've accomplished and
looking forward to what they aregoing to do in the new year.
Some people are big onresolutions.
Some people, myself included,are more kind of goal oriented
and less resolution.
(01:28):
We're gonna get into all of thatand make it feel not as
overwhelming and more like anexciting planning thing.
So before we start, Alexis, whydon't you give us a little
background on how you viewplanning and goal setting.
Alexis (01:47):
Yeah, like you said, I'm not a big resolution person.
I pick a couple goals for thecoming year to really hone in
on, usually problem areas in mylife.
Things that need a change and Imake goals, with them, but also
I have to plan.
We have five kids and.
Even meal planning, like that'smy big thing, if I can get meals
(02:10):
planned in a week, we're good.
So that's kind of how I approachplanning.
I am not a good spur of themoment person.
I do better now than I used to,but I like to have my week plans
and if it kind of goes offtrack, I get very frustrated,
but I'm doing better.
So I'm just a planner ingeneral.
Kristen (02:29):
So kind of like you've got your big level plans at the
macro level, but you're sayingeven down to your daily and
weekly things, you plan all ofthat out too.
You just plan everything.
Yes.
Yes.
I love that.
So I would say that I am alsovery similar to that, because I
(02:49):
usually, at the beginning of theyear, set several goals they're
kind of like achievements, like,read 50 books or publish 25
episodes things like that, thatare very achievable.
But like you said, my mealplanning is not nearly as good
as it used to be, but when itcomes to like work, like I am
very, very.
Strict, unlike my to-do list,like these are the meetings I'm
going to, these are the tasksI'm going to accomplish.
(03:11):
I have my little list andeverything is planned because I
feel like I really need to planeverything.
Are you more flexible or morerigid?
Especially your meal planning.
If you're having this meal forMonday and something comes up,
are you able to shift it?
It doesn't matter what happens?
Is this still what we're eating?
Like are you flexy or rigid?
Alexis (03:31):
I am pretty flexible on those things.
There are times where I am weirdabout food.
If we've eaten it in the pastmonth, I do not wanna make it
again.
I like new food, so since I domost of the cooking sometimes
I'll look at what we're havingfor dinner and I'll think, I
really don't want that tonight,so I'll pick a different day and
swap it.
So maybe I do Friday's dinnerfor Monday or whatever.
(03:53):
So, yeah.
Flexible that way.
Kristen (03:56):
That's good to know.
I think you'd said somethingabout a Mel Robbins podcast
you'd heard this past year orlast year what was that and how
did that play into your goalplanning?
Alexis (04:10):
Yeah, so I actually get my planner in September and
start working on it for thebeginning.
I actually don't start it inJanuary.
I start writing in it prettyearly on, and last year I
listened to, I don't even knowwhere it was recommended.
It might have been in a plannergroup, but.
(04:31):
Robins had a podcast aboutplanning and so I listened to it
to see, you know, maybe I canglean some different ideas for
how to implement goals and keepup.
'cause sometimes, you know, youcan set a goal but then summer
hits and your whole schedule'schanged and you might have
forgotten that goal and you justdrop it so I was looking for
different ways to glean some newinformation for keeping goals
(04:54):
for the following year.
And I.
Really loved this podcast.
It, she brought up the point,and this is kind of what spurred
on this year's goals and how Ithought about the year and what
I wanted the year to look like.
Most people can't look at theirwhole year and think of
(05:15):
everything that happened.
They can probably point to thebad things that happened.
They can point to a couple goodthings, but most people would
have to look back through theircamera roll and be like, what do
we do?
And they probably forgot aboutit.
She really takes in thisplanning process of looking at
your whole year, looking at thegood, the bad things that you
(05:36):
wanna change, things you reallywanna keep doing and putting it
all together.
That's how I set up this year.
I set up.
A monthly thing at the end ofthe month to write the
highlights, the low lights, somegoals that I kept, some new ones
that I added, things like that.
I used those as a scaffold toplan my year and see where I was
(05:59):
at with my goals, how thingswere going.
And I think it also.
Really help to see where you'respending your time.
Just even looking, at the goodthings like are you spending
enough time doing the thingsthat you love or that are
meaningful to your family?
And where is time not beingspent?
(06:21):
In a wasteful manner that youcould, put towards your goals.
Those were things that I thoughtabout after listening to it.
I highly recommend it.
I don't know if you can link itbut I highly recommend the
podcast because it was so goodand insightful for planning for
me, maybe it's not foreverybody.
I don't typically listen to her,but I loved this podcast.
Kristen (06:40):
Now when I think that's such a huge, like it's such a
good way to look at thingsbecause you're right.
I especially struck by whenyou're like, people just need to
look back in their camera roleto see what they did that year.
Yes, I do because I feel like.
What's the saying?
The days are long, but the yearsare short when they talk about
raising kids.
And there's other ways too, andit's true, like I feel like the
(07:02):
time is going by so fastsometimes that I forget things
we've done or I can't rememberwhen things happened.
So I think looking at that, andlike you said, talking about the
scaffolding and looking at thehighs and the lows planning from
there where you wanna go.
I think that's a really goodstructure to take.
(07:23):
Like I absolutely love that.
Now before we get more intothat, I do wanna talk very
quickly'cause you've mentioned aplanner and you've started
filling in your planner inSeptember.
Can we just take a quick littleside story on what planner you
use and why you love it?
Alexis (07:37):
Sure.
Yeah.
So I will tell you, I have trieda lot of different planners.
I've tried an Aaron planner,I've tried a happy planner.
I've tried bullet journaling.
I've just tried a notebook andwhat I have landed on and the
planner that I have bought themost, I think this is my fourth
or fifth year using it, I willbe honest.
It is not for everybody.
I think a planner is verypersonal to a person, so I am
(07:59):
not one to say, oh, this is thebest planner ever because if I'm
honest, I'm not sure that thisplanner is the best planner for
a working mom that works.
40 hours a week.
She might like it, but honestly,I'm not sure.
I think there's other ones outthere but I use the passionate
penny pincher planner.
It is home-based, so it's got aton of chores to do and things
(08:22):
for your home.
But then it also has dailychecklists.
It has, bible reading plans init.
Everything that I love is inthere.
And I love the way it's set up.
She releases them in Septemberand I buy it unreleased date
'cause it's the best price and Iget it and I just start filling
it out as soon as I get it.
Kristen (08:43):
Oh, I love that.
I am not familiar with that one.
My journey was very similar.
I'm the kind of person thatlike, oh, I'm gonna get a, a new
planner and change my life.
And I was like, I want a plannergirl for many years in my
twenties.
I would get it and fill it outfor a little bit, and then by
like February or March I wasdone, like then I'd be like, oh,
(09:04):
I guess I'm not a planner personuntil I found a planner that
actually worked for me.
And I will tell you first what Istarted was one of those daily
planner ones, it's really all ithas is a calendar.
You open it up.
It has Monday, Tuesday,Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,
Saturday or whatever, like ithas the days of the week and a
little section to write on eachof them.
When I finally used that for awhole year, I was like, all
right, now I'm ready.
I'm going to invest in a realplanner.
(09:25):
I started with the Happy Plannerand I was obsessed.
Every Sunday I would design myweekly plan, or I would do
several weeks at a time I was.
Buying all the stickers, theaccessories, I would, you know,
go online and I would getdifferent.
Sticker bundles and stuff.
And like, so each week wouldhave a different layout.
I'm gonna have to post some ofthe pictures because I, took it
(09:46):
as like scrapbooking a littlebit.
I was way into having thisreally, really pretty planner.
And then it was like life gotbusier and I wasn't, I think
it's kind of when my son wasgetting older too, so I didn't
have all that free time.
'cause when he was little, hewould just kinda crawl around or
watch tv.
I had a lot more free time.
Alexis (10:02):
Yeah.
Kristen (10:03):
So, I still used a happy planner, but.
I wasn't using as much and thenI was like, I said, well, if I'm
not decorating as much, let metry a different one.
I had seen all of these aboutthe day designer or something,
and I got that and it has, youknow, like a section for
appointments, section for to-dolist.
And it has like your top three,it has like your water intake as
like all the stuff I wasn'ttracking, I used that for a year
(10:26):
and was like, meh.
And then I switched to an EmilyLay simplified.
Planner, and this is by far thebest planner I've ever used.
Like you said, Alexis, I don'twanna say it's the best for
everybody, it's just out of allthe different ones I've tried,
it's been the best for me and Ikeep them all.
Let me see, how many do I havedown here now?
(10:47):
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
I'm on my fifth or sixth yearnow going into my simplified
planner and my dad buys it forme every year at Christmas.
I think he buys Cali one too.
You guys remember mysister-in-law, who's also been a
guest here, so I think he buyshers also.
And she and I always, reach out,when they release, what the
(11:09):
covers are gonna be, we're like,which one are you gonna get?
Which 1:00 AM I gonna get?
And it's just a fun thing.
My first couple years, I wouldstill put a couple stickers in,
'cause I had so many stickersleft over from my Happy Planner
days but now I don't.
Now I'm just very basic, I putin my meetings or things that I
have going on, whether it's me,my husband, and my son,
whoever's activities, and thenlike the to-do list I joke with
(11:31):
people that if it's not writtendown, it's not gonna happen.
And that's kind of how I live mylife.
I still like the old fashionedpaper planner, like, I like
having it with me.
I know a lot of people haveswitched to online and I do use
my Google calendar for a lot ofthings, like in a monthly view.
But I really need, my regularplanner for my life.
Alexis (11:52):
Yeah, that's how it is too.
If I do not write down in myplanner, I'll forget it because
I ignore all my notificationsfor calendar appointments on my
phone.
I get too many notifications, soit's not in my brain, and my
planner actually does not gowith me.
It sits out on a cookbook holderon my counter.
Oh, I love that.
So everybody knows what's fordinner.
They can see what I'm doing, andthey kind of know, and that's
(12:16):
the way it goes.
Kristen (12:17):
Your life is literally an open book,
Alexis (12:19):
Yes.
I love stickers.
I do use stickers.
They're usually seasonal onesand just random things that I
will use.
So, quotes or things like that.
So.
Kristen (12:30):
I love that.
I love, because it is kind oflike a scrapbooking thing, and I
think there is something abouthaving little details like that.
So you mentioned after MelRobbins podcast and kind of the
scaffolding you developed yourgoals.
Would you be willing to sharewhat your goals were for this
year and how you did with them?
Alexis (12:51):
Yeah, so I really loved doing this, so I sat down and
looked at the things that Iwanted to improve in my life,
the things I wanted to do moreof, and the things I wanted to
do less of.
And if I'm honest, my job wasthe biggest pain point because
it was taking over and that wasnever what I wanted it to do.
(13:14):
My pain point in that was if Ican get my work life balance.
Things could, improve in certainareas.
The first one was my grandma hadpassed away at Christmas time
and I wasn't able to be therefor my grandma as much as I
wanted to be because work wastaking over my life.
So my goal was that I could bethere for both of my grandmas.
(13:39):
My one grandma is 87.
She doesn't have much longerleft.
I hope that she has longer left,but not.
My goal was to be able to spendmore time with her and my other
grandma what that looked likefor me is that I would try to
call them once a week.
I used to talk to themfrequently on the phone and I
don't anymore.
Talking on the phone isn't aseasy for them anymore, so my
(13:59):
goal is to at least reach out tothem once a week and speak to
them and try to see them.
Once a month, that may seem likenot a lot, but at that season in
my life, that was a lot for me.
My second goal was work-lifebalance.
You could count as a goal.
But the, the other one that Ireally wanted, was to read
(14:21):
through the Bible.
I knew that if I could fix mywork life balance, I could get
up in the morning and reallyhone in on that and work on that
before I exercise.
So reading through the Bible andthen lastly is.
I used to have a photographybusiness and I took a lot of
photos and my life has shiftedjust as my kids have gotten
(14:44):
older and we've moved and thingshave moved, but I still have a
very expensive camera and lensthat my husband got for me.
And so my goal was to use mycamera more and not let it sit.
And you could add a fourth onein there that.
My husband and I sat down andfigured out how much money we
wanted to put into savings andretirement this year.
We can talk about that a littlebit more, but that was a
(15:05):
personal goal that we usuallyhave together do you want me to
tell you how it all worked outthrough the year?
Of course.
Kristen (15:10):
Like how did you
Alexis (15:11):
I ended up setting boundaries for work and because
I set boundaries I ended uplosing my job that was pretty
heartbreaking because it's notlike I lost my job for poor
performance or doing a bad job.
I have worked for the companyfor a very long time, so it was
very heartbreaking.
(15:32):
When that happened, I completelythrew our.
Our financial goal thathappened, I think I lost my job.
Was it March of this year?
It would've been March.
Mm-hmm.
So I through our financial goalcompletely out the window.
I said, we're gonna be livinglike the strictest budget.
(15:52):
And so I spent a ton of timedoing that.
But because of doing that.
I freed up so much time andthings shifted in my life that I
was able to spend a lot moretime with my grandmas.
I was reading my Bible a lotmore and I began to take a lot
(16:12):
more pictures and it kind ofdawned on me as I got my planner
in September this year, what Icould just transfer over from
one planner to my new plannerfor 2026 and things like that.
I was looking at my goals that Ihad kind of ignored because it
has been a really bad year ifyou had talked to me in June or
July, I would say it had beenthe worst year of our entire
(16:35):
marriage.
My husband almost lost his job.
We just had one thing afteranother from a complete rewire
of our house to every appliancebreaking including a water
heater, car issues, like it hadjust been a rough year.
If you had asked me in July howI felt about this year, I
would've looked at you and said,I would rather deal with 2020
(16:57):
than this year.
That's how bad it was.
But then I was looking throughmy planner and doing that
scaffold of what was the good ofeach month, what was the add of
each month?
There were so many good thingsand I had to realize that okay,
this wasn't a bad year.
My oldest is driving now, he hashis first job.
And I know that sounds silly,but for a mom that's so
(17:20):
exciting.
So many little moments likethat.
I didn't think we were gonna beable to go on vacation this
year.
We went on vacation and had anamazing time and honestly it was
almost for free.
So like there was just so manylittle moments like that.
So I was able to see that even.
(17:41):
We fixed the work life balance.
I just think it was a God thing.
Like, I don't think there's anycoincidences in this because, it
forced a lot of things to changeand to really change my
perspective about what wasimportant.
I was seeing my grandmas moreand I was seeing family more and
could spend more time with mykids.
And so those things reallyworked.
(18:01):
But probably the icing on thecake came.
This fall when I was taking alot of senior sessions for
photos, which in my previousphotography business, I actually
didn't do a lot of seniorphotos.
They're not something that wasmy, niche, but I kind of fell in
love with senior photos.
I was taking a lot more photosand I took a ton of senior
(18:23):
photos and some of my veryfavorite photos I've ever taken.
I took this fall and then mygrandpa, who's 87, had.
A rental that was completelytrashed this is a farmhouse with
my great grandparents and Iwon't get too much into it, but
the whole point is it wastrashed and she thought of me
(18:44):
and my husband to come and fixit.
And so we spent the entire monthof September and October,
remodeling, fixing things therewas an entire trash dump that
they were paying for trash andwe had to haul it away, paint it
redid for us.
And it was so much work.
But had I not had my job or hadI had my job, we would've never
(19:07):
been able to help my grandma.
I would not have seen her asmuch as I've seen her in the
past two months and talk to her.
I talked to her multiple times,sometimes on the phone, every
day, like, Hey, what do you wantus to do with this?
And helping her with that.
And then the financial goal thatI thought we were just gonna
have to throw out the window.
We will probably succeed in ourfinancial goal because of this
(19:30):
job and being able to put intosavings what we wanted to do.
So it all worked out and it'sreally truly like a God thing,
but also I had these thoughts inmy mind and I think that really
honing in on them, you canchange your.
How you structure your life,what you realize is important,
(19:54):
you make time for that and thenyou realize you can make more
time and things just kind offall into place.
I realize that isn't gonnahappen for everything, but for a
lot of stuff, when I realize Ihave pain points and I focus on
those bigger and better thingshappen because I'm focusing to
try to fix them and they, itturns out much more.
It turns out much better than itdid even in my vision,
Kristen (20:17):
oh a hundred percent.
And it's fascinating listeningas you tell your story.
And I think that mostdefinitely, it's a God thing.
It's interesting how all thethings you said you wanted to
accomplish, the work lifebalance, seeing and talking with
your grandmother more readingthrough the Bible again, all
happened.
Because you lost your job.
(20:38):
I'm not saying it wouldn't havehappened if you didn't lose it,
but something that could havebeen such a negative turned out
to be such a positive with allthe other things that come from
it.
And the part where you talkabout focusing on what you love
and spending time doing that.
Oh, and using your camera morelike that happened too because
of losing your job.
Like how all those pieces kindof fell together because of that
(21:02):
one event happening.
I mean, your whole story givesme chills because it really is
one of those gone things ofthings happening together, I
feel like when you focus more onwhere your attention should be,
when you're doing the things youlove, when you're getting
involved, spending time withfamily, doing those things that
are more important than all theother, trivial things that we
(21:23):
focus our time on.
I think if you're focusing allyour time on trivial things or
the things that don't reallymatter, you can get.
That's where stress and anxietyand worry, and that all happens.
And if you'd been focusing onthose things when you lost your
job, it may have been adifferent outcome, but because
you were already having yourgoals and your plan set on,
(21:45):
these are the positive things Iwanna do.
This is where I want to spend mytime.
These are the things I want todo better or do more of, because
you are in that mindset.
I think that helped too.
Kind of how everything playedout for you.
Would you agree or disagree?
Yes,
Alexis (22:03):
I would agree with this and this hearkens back nearly 10
years ago when I closed myphotography business.
I didn't want to do it, but Ijust felt like I should and I
closed it and I thought, oh myword, I made this, this really
poor decision I had.
A very successful photographybusiness.
I was busy, I loved it.
(22:23):
The next year I got pregnantwith my twins and there is no
coincidence I would've neverbeen able to sustain.
To continue with my business,having twins and five kids and
just being pregnant with them.
There was no way I would've beenable to run a business and be a
photographer at that point in mylife.
I prayfully think about my goalsand I know that not everybody
(22:46):
does, but that's personally whatI do.
When you're listening to thosethings as a Christian and
prayerfully considering them.
It's not coincidence.
It's a God thing and that'sreally the best way I can
describe it.
Kristen (22:59):
Well, yeah, and I think it goes back to like, I really
believe that everything happensfor a reason.
And you know, God, universe,whatever people wanna believe
in, I think that, and I even goto the.
Extent of like, I think evenlittle things happen for a
reason.
Like if I am running late and Idon't get on the road as soon as
I want, and then there is anaccident on the way to work and
(23:20):
I'm like, see if I left on time,that could have been me in the
accident.
I really do think thateverything happens for a reason
and I see examples of it all thetime, or I'll see connections
where, something happened withsomeone back then, it led to
this thing now.
And there's just all thesedifferent things and you can
see, the handiwork of God or theuniverse, whatever people wanna
(23:40):
believe.
You can see all that happeningtogether and you don't always
see it in the moment because sooften we get so focused on just
seeing what's right in front ofus and not being able to see the
big picture.
But then when you take a stepback and you're like, oh my
goodness, that happened becausethis happened, because that
happened because this needed tohappen.
And just seeing that allconnected is amazing.
We talk about all these plansthat we have, but there's always
(24:04):
a bigger plan when we thinkwe're in control and doing
things, we're really not God'sgot his hand on everything and
things are happening for areason in our human minds we get
so into all the nitty gritty andthinking that we control things
and really things are going tohappen the way they're supposed
to happen, regardless of what wedo.
I mean, like you said, it'simportant to still focus and do
the right thing on your own,there's a bigger plan and it's
(24:26):
so cool when you can see itunfold like that, like it has in
your life this year.
Alexis (24:32):
Yeah, I would agree with that.
Last week I filled out myplanner.
I had grand plans, it wassupposed to be a week off with
my kids I got to use my noschool stickers.
I was so excited and I didnothing on that for that week.
And I even think, we didn't evendo some of the meals because.
We were desperately trying tofinish this job, and none of it
(24:53):
happened.
I was gone the majority of theweek and my kids ended up
figuring out what they wanted.
They had a lot of Thanksgivingleftovers, which worked.
Even when I have some weekswhere I do my planner, it gets
thrown to the wayside and youhave to be okay with that.
It's okay.
It's just, it is what it is.
That's life.
Kristen (25:11):
What would you recommend to someone who feels
overwhelmed by goal setting orplanners?
Like what advice could you offerlisteners if maybe they don't
know how to goal plan, or how toset up what they wanna do or
just feel overwhelmed by settingthose goals for them?
Alexis (25:29):
So I think, first of all, sometimes people get
planners and they're reallypretty and they don't wanna use
them, and they don't wanna messthem up, and so they won't ride
in them.
And I think that the best thingyou can do is realize.
You're gonna write something andlife is gonna happen, it's gonna
change.
You could even make a dentistappointment 6 cents down the
(25:50):
road and your dentist could callyou a day before and say, we
need to reschedule.
And it's really okay.
It's okay if you've done it inpen.
It's okay if you've done it inpencil.
It's okay if you've done it inyour erasable pen.
Life happens.
And so I would say that is a bigthing just.
Use your planner and don't worryabout it that way.
Now, as far as setting goals, Ithink that many people have
(26:13):
lofty goals and they have toomany sometimes.
I have been guilty of this too,so I say, if this is your first
year doing it, or first timetrying it, just pick one goal.
One goal is so much easier toattain than 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, you
know?
So if you can just pick onegoal, pick it.
Might I suggest it not be healthrelated.
(26:35):
I know that sounds ridiculous,but everybody has health goals
and I have health goals.
But I think if you set yourselfup like, oh, I'm gonna, this is
gonna be my year, and I'm notsaying you shouldn't do that.
I just know that there's more tolife than what you look like.
Obviously you should feel well,but you know, maybe instead of,
(26:56):
oh, I'm gonna lose weight andI'm going to eat better.
Maybe it's, I'm just gonna walkthree times a week but also
think of something else, whetherit's you're spending more time
with your family, whether it'smoney, you can focus on,
financial.
Health, but then like somethingelse, a hobby to take up
something that you want to domore of that you love in your
life and you just don't havetime for.
(27:16):
The whole point is not to makeit super complicated and not to
have too many because.
When you do that, if you'realready short on time, you are
not gonna have all this time tofit in six goals a week, a day
even to try to obtain for thefollowing year.
And I think it just sets up forfailure and you get frustrated
and you don't wanna continue.
Kristen (27:37):
No, I would agree with all of those.
I love how you talked about theplanner.
Like, oh, you have this prettyplanner.
'cause that's how I was for along time and it was hard for me
to write in it, or to change it.
This is not a sponsored.
Product by any means.
But the friction pens the onesthat you can erase, are the only
pens I use anymore because yes,life changes, things happen.
(27:58):
I am constantly having to erasethings, meetings, move, classes
get canceled, whatever.
Life isn't pretty, so don'tworry about your planner being
pretty, like it needs to befunctionable and lived in.
And I think that is soimportant.
You talk about huge goals.
What I found is like you canstill have like a big goal, but
you still wanna like make likekind of attainable goals that
support it.
(28:18):
Little bite size pieces you cantake maybe.
Your goal is to lose a hundredpounds?
Well, maybe you've gotta startby saying you wanna lose 20
pounds, and that's, it's a pieceof the overall goal.
But on the flip side of that,like you said, I try to never
make any health related goalsbecause I feel like it is so
stereotypical when it comes toNew Year's resolutions.
(28:41):
People are like.
I wanna save more money.
I wanna spend less money.
I wanna lose more weight.
I want to eat healthier.
And it's all the same things andnone of those things are bad by
any means.
I feel like that's for peoplewho.
Let me rewind and say that in away that doesn't sound as mean
as it just sounded in my head.
Those are important goals, butit's almost like they aren't
(29:03):
personalized enough because yes,everybody wants to save more and
spend less, and everybody wantsto lose weight or get more
healthy those are goals, butlook at your life personally and
where you are at and what youwant to do and how you wanna
spend your time.
Alexis, I love that you bring uphobbies.
I have added hobbies to my list.
I will say for the past twoyears, I have not done it either
(29:26):
year.
So not all goals are achievableand attainable and whatever I
have put to play the piano.
For my goal for 2024 and my goalfor 2025, I still have a month
left.
It's possible that I will playthe piano, just so I can check
it off the list, but, I don'tmean just play it like I played
when I was young.
We have a piano in our house.
I just, I want to play more orplay again and I haven't done
(29:49):
that.
Which goes to the other pointabout saying, you know, look at
things that you wanna do thatmaybe you enjoy doing or don't
have time to do.
I'm saying this out loud formyself mostly, but I'm hopeful
that I'm not the only one.
I don't have the time.
It's that I don't make the time,because I have plenty of time
where I am just wasting time.
(30:09):
I am on my phone.
I am watching TV Netflix orYouTube videos just.
Doom scrolling, I clearly haveplenty of time.
I'm just not using it properly.
So while I haven't come up withmy 2026 goals yet, I know that
some of mine are going torevolve around that is to do
(30:30):
more with the time I have and domore meaningful things, whether
it's spending more time with myson and husband freaking playing
the piano, I guess, or doingsomething that at least gets me
off of social media, off myphone, away from the tv.
There is time there.
I just need to be better withit.
So I think that's how I see someof the goal setting and
(30:54):
planning.
Alexis (30:56):
I love that.
Those are, all really goodpoints.
Also, now that I know you wannaplay the piano?
I'm gonna text you and make sureyou're doing that.
I'm just kidding.
Kristen (31:05):
The accountability is huge because I think once you
talk about a goal or you.
Say something out loud.
People should hold youaccountable to it.
Maybe it's because that goal hasonly been written in my planner
and I don't know that I toldanybody that's something I was
going to do.
I also have ride a train in myplanner, which I haven't gotten
to this year I am going to ridea train.
(31:27):
I am going to ride theCalifornia Zephyr and I am going
to go from Chicago to Californiaone way or another, like before
I die, this is something I'mgoing to do and I'm saying out
loud to manifest it and make ithappen.
But no, where was I going withthis?
Oh, yes.
It's important to still talkabout your goals and share and
yeah, maybe have a goal buddy.
And if you do wanna put on thehealth ones and you wanna work
(31:49):
out more or something, then havesomebody you're gonna work out
with.
Because I have found that I ammore likely to do something if
somebody else is relying on me.
'cause I have a harder timesaying no or like, no, not doing
something for someone else thanI do for myself.
I can say no to myself all thetime.
Like, no, Kristen, we're notgoing to the gym.
No Kristen, we're not doingthat.
But like if somebody was gonnathe gym and I have to meet them,
(32:11):
I can't not say.
Alexis, I'm not going to meetyou there.
No, Alexis, I don't wanna gobecause Alexis would be like,
get off your fat, but Kristen,we're going to the gym.
Alexis (32:21):
I still have to talk myself into that every day, so
don't feel bad.
I have to say stop reading yourbook and go do it it's a rough
one.
That's why I don't put it onthere for a goal because life
happens and some days I justdon't wanna,
Kristen (32:33):
I know every day I don't want to, and that's why
six outta seven days, I don't dothat.
Anyway.
A few fun planning questions foryou.
So what's your favorite part,and I know you said you start
filling out your planner inSeptember.
Is that when you start doingyour goals for the next year, or
do you do your goals in January?
Alexis (32:56):
So I really start filling out things like
birthdays and stuff like inSeptember and then the end of
December, like usually Christmasbreak.
I really sit down and hone inon.
Schools, but I've startedmulling them over in my mind
around this time of year.
Like I've just started reallythinking about stuff because we
homeschool.
(33:18):
My year is broken up intodifferent types of seasons.
Like I run like a kid and itsounds ridiculous, but I sound
like a kid and that I so lookforward to summer because there
are no plans.
Most parents don't enjoy summerfrom what I gather.
They're always so excited fortheir kids to go back to school.
And I'm so excited for summerbecause I don't have to teach
kids.
I mean, I have to teach themnormal, but I don't have to
(33:39):
teach school and we just get tolike live life and enjoy it.
My life has kind of broken uplike that.
To be honest with you, when I'mreally focused on a new goal and
reset, we actually do that inAugust or September.
January isn't a new thing forme.
We're just carrying over whatwe've done in August and
September, but I might start mybook count over, or this past
(34:01):
year it was reading through theBible or things like that.
But you know, like, I don'tknow, structural wise, like
health stuff, I really, it kindof focuses on when the kids are
in school, that's kind of how mylife works we will talk like my
husband and I'll talk somefinancial goals probably.
That last week in December,maybe a little before we also do
(34:22):
that every month.
Like we have a budget meetingevery month and I sit down,
every week and plan out stuff.
I think that is why I'm able to.
Keep things attainable becauseif you look at it from a whole
year, it can sometimes seemoverwhelming, whereas if I'm
doing it every week or once amonth, it's not.
Goal-wise will definitely be theend of this month.
Kristen (34:44):
Good.
Alexis (34:45):
So,
Kristen (34:46):
Is there any final piece of advice or tidbit that
you would love to share with ourlisteners that you think would
just really get them to be likegoal setter planning people?
Alexis (35:01):
Meal planning.
I really think if you plannedyour meals, you would save a lot
of money.
You would be healthier, and youmight even pick up a new skill.
With cooking that's justsomething I feel like meal
planning is the easiest way tostart planning.
You don't have to plan anythingelse, but if you can plan your
meals or even five meals a weekand plan to eat out the other
nights, I feel like it was sobeneficial.
(35:24):
When I started doing that, Ifeel like our life changed in
certain aspects.
Kristen (35:28):
I can totally see that.
And I feel like it gives you asense of control too, because no
matter what else happens duringthe day, at least you know what
you're going to make and eat fordinner.
Having that kind of thing toanchor you on the day, I think
that can totally make adifference.
Not even just with the budgetand the health aspect, but it
(35:49):
gives you.
Some semblance of control inyour day too, so I love that
advice.
That's fantastic.
Alexis (35:56):
Yeah.
But before we go, do you have agoal this next year that you're
thinking about outside of piano?
I wanna hear if you do.
Kristen (36:03):
See, I haven't gotten to mine yet because I will get
my planner on December 25th andthen start doing it.
But I will tell you.
While I don't know how I'm goingto write it yet, it really is
going to be to get away fromsocial media.
I'm gonna have a whole episodeabout it sometime because while
I haven't been recordingepisodes and I've been watching
(36:25):
a lot of YouTube, I have beendoing research on.
How bad social media is now it'snot just my opinion, I'm finding
research behind it too and howit is detrimental and all this
stuff that I will save for anepisode.
But I think I might get rid ofsocial media altogether.
I keep going back and forth onthat, but somehow my goal for
2026 is going to be social mediarelated, so stay tuned for more,
(36:51):
I guess.
Alexis (36:53):
That is so interesting because that's kind of been on
my heart.
Mm-hmm.
I think there's a reason forthat and I'm just not sure, how
to do it because.
Everything is online.
Kristen (37:06):
I know.
Alexis (37:06):
Like
Kristen (37:07):
I don't, and that's what I've said too, and I've
used it as an excuse and I'mlike, oh, but my son's school
post stuff's on there.
Yeah.
But they also text and email me,like, I will still somehow get
the information.
I'll be like, oh, but that's howI advertise my podcast.
Yeah.
But I'm really not, and theviews I get on Instagram and
Facebook are so minuscule.
(37:28):
I don't think that even matterseither.
So every excuse I come up with,I've been able to kind of have a
counter to it.
So there's part of me that'slike, well, maybe I'll just
delete it from my phone and goold school, right?
Like back in the day, rememberwhen you were in high school,
college, whatever, you wouldcheck your mail just when you
were at a computer.
And maybe that's fine becausethen I would actually have to
make the effort to go to mystudio and get on my computer
(37:50):
and quote unquote go online, tocheck my stuff.
And I don't think that I woulddo that.
At least not as often as I pickup my phone.
Because that's part of thething.
I don't know that I am ready todelete everything.
Like Katie and I had an episodeearlier this year where she
completely deleted her Instagramaltogether, which was very bold.
I don't know that I'm at thatpoint,'cause I'm not ready to
(38:12):
shut it off forever.
I just want to shut it off toget my sanity back and break the
addiction that I have with it.
Alexis (38:20):
So.
I did that in 2020.
I completely deleted Facebookand Instagram.
I think with Instagram I pausedit though, I didn't lose
anything with Facebook.
I completely deleted it and Ikind of have some regrets
because there are things I'mlike, oh, I kind of wish I had
that.
But then I'm like, I don't, sothe thing that I think was the
hardest though, is there wassome friendships that.
(38:44):
I don't, I didn't get people'snumbers.
I just deleted it.
I can relate, but I think I'mthere again.
I think I'm ready to just likepause it or completely.
I'm with you.
Yeah, I'm with you.
That's, I really am.
I don't think
Kristen (38:56):
I could delete, because the one thing I still love about
Facebook is how my memories showup.
Like just the other day it hadvideos of my son's first
Thanksgiving and him eating pieand me spraying the ready whip
whipped cream into his mouth.
And I'm sure I have those videossaved on a hard drive somewhere
too.
But the fact that Facebook showsme my memories.
I love that part.
So I don't think that I couldcompletely.
(39:19):
Delete all of it, because I feellike so much of it is there and
tied up in it.
But, I'm to the point where I'mkind of done with it.
So stay tuned for 2026 to seehow Kristen actually deals with
social media going forward.
Alexis (39:33):
I love this.
I think this is gonna be afantastic, experiment.
I really do.
I actually, wanna, pay attentionand see how it is.
Maybe we can see how peoplereacted and how it worked for
them yes.
I just, love this.
Kristen (39:46):
I'm about this, so yes, you've got me excited.
Perfect.
And the last thing I will sayfor a goal of 2026, I don't know
if it'll happen in 2026.
It's another one of these thingsthat I have to keep saying out
loud to manifest it or make ithappen, or maybe somebody who
knows somebody can make thishappen for me.
I am going to interview MarkDagal, the head coach of the
Oklahoma City Thunder.
(40:07):
I am going to interview him onmy podcast and talk about how
his leadership and coachingstyle surpasses just being used
in the NBA.
And there's lessons that can beused in everyday life too.
So I have not yet met him.
I have not made any connectionsyet, but this is going to happen
someday.
Maybe 2027.
I don't know.
It's gonna happen.
And if I say it out loud enough,I'll make it happen.
(40:28):
So that's also a goal of mine atthe end.
I love it.
All right, well thanks Alexis.
I love that you're back.
Can't wait to hear more fromyou, in upcoming episodes, and
we'll talk again soon.
Bye bye.
That's a wrap for this week'sepisode.
(40:49):
Thanks so much for spending timewith me.
Until next time, be honest withyourself.
Ask the hard questions, andremember, you are not alone on
this journey.
Welcome to season two of Talk with Kristen with an E.
This season, we're digging alittle deeper into leadership,
personal growth, and the courageit takes to follow your passion.
Real conversations, honestreflections, because life isn't
perfect and neither are we.
(00:26):
Hey everybody, welcome back.
So excited today because notonly has it been a minute since
there's been an episode, it'sbeen an even longer minute since
we had on my guest today soeverybody please welcome back to
our show, Alexis.
Hi Alexis.
(00:47):
Hi.
It's so good to be back.
Oh, it's been a while.
Alexis and I were just catchingup because we've both been busy
doing our own things and lifehas been in front of us it's a
really great time to catch upbecause we are talking about.
Planning and planners and goalsand how we get through the day
(01:07):
and achieve the goals that wehave.
This is a great time becausewe're coming to the end of the
year and people are looking backat all they've accomplished and
looking forward to what they aregoing to do in the new year.
Some people are big onresolutions.
Some people, myself included,are more kind of goal oriented
and less resolution.
(01:28):
We're gonna get into all of thatand make it feel not as
overwhelming and more like anexciting planning thing.
So before we start, Alexis, whydon't you give us a little
background on how you viewplanning and goal setting.
Alexis (01:47):
Yeah, like you said, I'm not a big resolution person.
I pick a couple goals for thecoming year to really hone in
on, usually problem areas in mylife.
Things that need a change and Imake goals, with them, but also
I have to plan.
We have five kids and.
Even meal planning, like that'smy big thing, if I can get meals
(02:10):
planned in a week, we're good.
So that's kind of how I approachplanning.
I am not a good spur of themoment person.
I do better now than I used to,but I like to have my week plans
and if it kind of goes offtrack, I get very frustrated,
but I'm doing better.
So I'm just a planner ingeneral.
Kristen (02:29):
So kind of like you've got your big level plans at the
macro level, but you're sayingeven down to your daily and
weekly things, you plan all ofthat out too.
You just plan everything.
Yes.
Yes.
I love that.
So I would say that I am alsovery similar to that, because I
(02:49):
usually, at the beginning of theyear, set several goals they're
kind of like achievements, like,read 50 books or publish 25
episodes things like that, thatare very achievable.
But like you said, my mealplanning is not nearly as good
as it used to be, but when itcomes to like work, like I am
very, very.
Strict, unlike my to-do list,like these are the meetings I'm
going to, these are the tasksI'm going to accomplish.
(03:11):
I have my little list andeverything is planned because I
feel like I really need to planeverything.
Are you more flexible or morerigid?
Especially your meal planning.
If you're having this meal forMonday and something comes up,
are you able to shift it?
It doesn't matter what happens?
Is this still what we're eating?
Like are you flexy or rigid?
Alexis (03:31):
I am pretty flexible on those things.
There are times where I am weirdabout food.
If we've eaten it in the pastmonth, I do not wanna make it
again.
I like new food, so since I domost of the cooking sometimes
I'll look at what we're havingfor dinner and I'll think, I
really don't want that tonight,so I'll pick a different day and
swap it.
So maybe I do Friday's dinnerfor Monday or whatever.
(03:53):
So, yeah.
Flexible that way.
Kristen (03:56):
That's good to know.
I think you'd said somethingabout a Mel Robbins podcast
you'd heard this past year orlast year what was that and how
did that play into your goalplanning?
Alexis (04:10):
Yeah, so I actually get my planner in September and
start working on it for thebeginning.
I actually don't start it inJanuary.
I start writing in it prettyearly on, and last year I
listened to, I don't even knowwhere it was recommended.
It might have been in a plannergroup, but.
(04:31):
Robins had a podcast aboutplanning and so I listened to it
to see, you know, maybe I canglean some different ideas for
how to implement goals and keepup.
'cause sometimes, you know, youcan set a goal but then summer
hits and your whole schedule'schanged and you might have
forgotten that goal and you justdrop it so I was looking for
different ways to glean some newinformation for keeping goals
(04:54):
for the following year.
And I.
Really loved this podcast.
It, she brought up the point,and this is kind of what spurred
on this year's goals and how Ithought about the year and what
I wanted the year to look like.
Most people can't look at theirwhole year and think of
(05:15):
everything that happened.
They can probably point to thebad things that happened.
They can point to a couple goodthings, but most people would
have to look back through theircamera roll and be like, what do
we do?
And they probably forgot aboutit.
She really takes in thisplanning process of looking at
your whole year, looking at thegood, the bad things that you
(05:36):
wanna change, things you reallywanna keep doing and putting it
all together.
That's how I set up this year.
I set up.
A monthly thing at the end ofthe month to write the
highlights, the low lights, somegoals that I kept, some new ones
that I added, things like that.
I used those as a scaffold toplan my year and see where I was
(05:59):
at with my goals, how thingswere going.
And I think it also.
Really help to see where you'respending your time.
Just even looking, at the goodthings like are you spending
enough time doing the thingsthat you love or that are
meaningful to your family?
And where is time not beingspent?
(06:21):
In a wasteful manner that youcould, put towards your goals.
Those were things that I thoughtabout after listening to it.
I highly recommend it.
I don't know if you can link itbut I highly recommend the
podcast because it was so goodand insightful for planning for
me, maybe it's not foreverybody.
I don't typically listen to her,but I loved this podcast.
Kristen (06:40):
Now when I think that's such a huge, like it's such a
good way to look at thingsbecause you're right.
I especially struck by whenyou're like, people just need to
look back in their camera roleto see what they did that year.
Yes, I do because I feel like.
What's the saying?
The days are long, but the yearsare short when they talk about
raising kids.
And there's other ways too, andit's true, like I feel like the
(07:02):
time is going by so fastsometimes that I forget things
we've done or I can't rememberwhen things happened.
So I think looking at that, andlike you said, talking about the
scaffolding and looking at thehighs and the lows planning from
there where you wanna go.
I think that's a really goodstructure to take.
(07:23):
Like I absolutely love that.
Now before we get more intothat, I do wanna talk very
quickly'cause you've mentioned aplanner and you've started
filling in your planner inSeptember.
Can we just take a quick littleside story on what planner you
use and why you love it?
Alexis (07:37):
Sure.
Yeah.
So I will tell you, I have trieda lot of different planners.
I've tried an Aaron planner,I've tried a happy planner.
I've tried bullet journaling.
I've just tried a notebook andwhat I have landed on and the
planner that I have bought themost, I think this is my fourth
or fifth year using it, I willbe honest.
It is not for everybody.
I think a planner is verypersonal to a person, so I am
(07:59):
not one to say, oh, this is thebest planner ever because if I'm
honest, I'm not sure that thisplanner is the best planner for
a working mom that works.
40 hours a week.
She might like it, but honestly,I'm not sure.
I think there's other ones outthere but I use the passionate
penny pincher planner.
It is home-based, so it's got aton of chores to do and things
(08:22):
for your home.
But then it also has dailychecklists.
It has, bible reading plans init.
Everything that I love is inthere.
And I love the way it's set up.
She releases them in Septemberand I buy it unreleased date
'cause it's the best price and Iget it and I just start filling
it out as soon as I get it.
Kristen (08:43):
Oh, I love that.
I am not familiar with that one.
My journey was very similar.
I'm the kind of person thatlike, oh, I'm gonna get a, a new
planner and change my life.
And I was like, I want a plannergirl for many years in my
twenties.
I would get it and fill it outfor a little bit, and then by
like February or March I wasdone, like then I'd be like, oh,
(09:04):
I guess I'm not a planner personuntil I found a planner that
actually worked for me.
And I will tell you first what Istarted was one of those daily
planner ones, it's really all ithas is a calendar.
You open it up.
It has Monday, Tuesday,Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,
Saturday or whatever, like ithas the days of the week and a
little section to write on eachof them.
When I finally used that for awhole year, I was like, all
right, now I'm ready.
I'm going to invest in a realplanner.
(09:25):
I started with the Happy Plannerand I was obsessed.
Every Sunday I would design myweekly plan, or I would do
several weeks at a time I was.
Buying all the stickers, theaccessories, I would, you know,
go online and I would getdifferent.
Sticker bundles and stuff.
And like, so each week wouldhave a different layout.
I'm gonna have to post some ofthe pictures because I, took it
(09:46):
as like scrapbooking a littlebit.
I was way into having thisreally, really pretty planner.
And then it was like life gotbusier and I wasn't, I think
it's kind of when my son wasgetting older too, so I didn't
have all that free time.
'cause when he was little, hewould just kinda crawl around or
watch tv.
I had a lot more free time.
Alexis (10:02):
Yeah.
Kristen (10:03):
So, I still used a happy planner, but.
I wasn't using as much and thenI was like, I said, well, if I'm
not decorating as much, let metry a different one.
I had seen all of these aboutthe day designer or something,
and I got that and it has, youknow, like a section for
appointments, section for to-dolist.
And it has like your top three,it has like your water intake as
like all the stuff I wasn'ttracking, I used that for a year
(10:26):
and was like, meh.
And then I switched to an EmilyLay simplified.
Planner, and this is by far thebest planner I've ever used.
Like you said, Alexis, I don'twanna say it's the best for
everybody, it's just out of allthe different ones I've tried,
it's been the best for me and Ikeep them all.
Let me see, how many do I havedown here now?
(10:47):
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
I'm on my fifth or sixth yearnow going into my simplified
planner and my dad buys it forme every year at Christmas.
I think he buys Cali one too.
You guys remember mysister-in-law, who's also been a
guest here, so I think he buyshers also.
And she and I always, reach out,when they release, what the
(11:09):
covers are gonna be, we're like,which one are you gonna get?
Which 1:00 AM I gonna get?
And it's just a fun thing.
My first couple years, I wouldstill put a couple stickers in,
'cause I had so many stickersleft over from my Happy Planner
days but now I don't.
Now I'm just very basic, I putin my meetings or things that I
have going on, whether it's me,my husband, and my son,
whoever's activities, and thenlike the to-do list I joke with
(11:31):
people that if it's not writtendown, it's not gonna happen.
And that's kind of how I live mylife.
I still like the old fashionedpaper planner, like, I like
having it with me.
I know a lot of people haveswitched to online and I do use
my Google calendar for a lot ofthings, like in a monthly view.
But I really need, my regularplanner for my life.
Alexis (11:52):
Yeah, that's how it is too.
If I do not write down in myplanner, I'll forget it because
I ignore all my notificationsfor calendar appointments on my
phone.
I get too many notifications, soit's not in my brain, and my
planner actually does not gowith me.
It sits out on a cookbook holderon my counter.
Oh, I love that.
So everybody knows what's fordinner.
They can see what I'm doing, andthey kind of know, and that's
(12:16):
the way it goes.
Kristen (12:17):
Your life is literally an open book,
Alexis (12:19):
Yes.
I love stickers.
I do use stickers.
They're usually seasonal onesand just random things that I
will use.
So, quotes or things like that.
So.
Kristen (12:30):
I love that.
I love, because it is kind oflike a scrapbooking thing, and I
think there is something abouthaving little details like that.
So you mentioned after MelRobbins podcast and kind of the
scaffolding you developed yourgoals.
Would you be willing to sharewhat your goals were for this
year and how you did with them?
Alexis (12:51):
Yeah, so I really loved doing this, so I sat down and
looked at the things that Iwanted to improve in my life,
the things I wanted to do moreof, and the things I wanted to
do less of.
And if I'm honest, my job wasthe biggest pain point because
it was taking over and that wasnever what I wanted it to do.
(13:14):
My pain point in that was if Ican get my work life balance.
Things could, improve in certainareas.
The first one was my grandma hadpassed away at Christmas time
and I wasn't able to be therefor my grandma as much as I
wanted to be because work wastaking over my life.
So my goal was that I could bethere for both of my grandmas.
(13:39):
My one grandma is 87.
She doesn't have much longerleft.
I hope that she has longer left,but not.
My goal was to be able to spendmore time with her and my other
grandma what that looked likefor me is that I would try to
call them once a week.
I used to talk to themfrequently on the phone and I
don't anymore.
Talking on the phone isn't aseasy for them anymore, so my
(13:59):
goal is to at least reach out tothem once a week and speak to
them and try to see them.
Once a month, that may seem likenot a lot, but at that season in
my life, that was a lot for me.
My second goal was work-lifebalance.
You could count as a goal.
But the, the other one that Ireally wanted, was to read
(14:21):
through the Bible.
I knew that if I could fix mywork life balance, I could get
up in the morning and reallyhone in on that and work on that
before I exercise.
So reading through the Bible andthen lastly is.
I used to have a photographybusiness and I took a lot of
photos and my life has shiftedjust as my kids have gotten
(14:44):
older and we've moved and thingshave moved, but I still have a
very expensive camera and lensthat my husband got for me.
And so my goal was to use mycamera more and not let it sit.
And you could add a fourth onein there that.
My husband and I sat down andfigured out how much money we
wanted to put into savings andretirement this year.
We can talk about that a littlebit more, but that was a
(15:05):
personal goal that we usuallyhave together do you want me to
tell you how it all worked outthrough the year?
Of course.
Kristen (15:10):
Like how did you
Alexis (15:11):
I ended up setting boundaries for work and because
I set boundaries I ended uplosing my job that was pretty
heartbreaking because it's notlike I lost my job for poor
performance or doing a bad job.
I have worked for the companyfor a very long time, so it was
very heartbreaking.
(15:32):
When that happened, I completelythrew our.
Our financial goal thathappened, I think I lost my job.
Was it March of this year?
It would've been March.
Mm-hmm.
So I through our financial goalcompletely out the window.
I said, we're gonna be livinglike the strictest budget.
(15:52):
And so I spent a ton of timedoing that.
But because of doing that.
I freed up so much time andthings shifted in my life that I
was able to spend a lot moretime with my grandmas.
I was reading my Bible a lotmore and I began to take a lot
(16:12):
more pictures and it kind ofdawned on me as I got my planner
in September this year, what Icould just transfer over from
one planner to my new plannerfor 2026 and things like that.
I was looking at my goals that Ihad kind of ignored because it
has been a really bad year ifyou had talked to me in June or
July, I would say it had beenthe worst year of our entire
(16:35):
marriage.
My husband almost lost his job.
We just had one thing afteranother from a complete rewire
of our house to every appliancebreaking including a water
heater, car issues, like it hadjust been a rough year.
If you had asked me in July howI felt about this year, I
would've looked at you and said,I would rather deal with 2020
(16:57):
than this year.
That's how bad it was.
But then I was looking throughmy planner and doing that
scaffold of what was the good ofeach month, what was the add of
each month?
There were so many good thingsand I had to realize that okay,
this wasn't a bad year.
My oldest is driving now, he hashis first job.
And I know that sounds silly,but for a mom that's so
(17:20):
exciting.
So many little moments likethat.
I didn't think we were gonna beable to go on vacation this
year.
We went on vacation and had anamazing time and honestly it was
almost for free.
So like there was just so manylittle moments like that.
So I was able to see that even.
(17:41):
We fixed the work life balance.
I just think it was a God thing.
Like, I don't think there's anycoincidences in this because, it
forced a lot of things to changeand to really change my
perspective about what wasimportant.
I was seeing my grandmas moreand I was seeing family more and
could spend more time with mykids.
And so those things reallyworked.
(18:01):
But probably the icing on thecake came.
This fall when I was taking alot of senior sessions for
photos, which in my previousphotography business, I actually
didn't do a lot of seniorphotos.
They're not something that wasmy, niche, but I kind of fell in
love with senior photos.
I was taking a lot more photosand I took a ton of senior
(18:23):
photos and some of my veryfavorite photos I've ever taken.
I took this fall and then mygrandpa, who's 87, had.
A rental that was completelytrashed this is a farmhouse with
my great grandparents and Iwon't get too much into it, but
the whole point is it wastrashed and she thought of me
(18:44):
and my husband to come and fixit.
And so we spent the entire monthof September and October,
remodeling, fixing things therewas an entire trash dump that
they were paying for trash andwe had to haul it away, paint it
redid for us.
And it was so much work.
But had I not had my job or hadI had my job, we would've never
(19:07):
been able to help my grandma.
I would not have seen her asmuch as I've seen her in the
past two months and talk to her.
I talked to her multiple times,sometimes on the phone, every
day, like, Hey, what do you wantus to do with this?
And helping her with that.
And then the financial goal thatI thought we were just gonna
have to throw out the window.
We will probably succeed in ourfinancial goal because of this
(19:30):
job and being able to put intosavings what we wanted to do.
So it all worked out and it'sreally truly like a God thing,
but also I had these thoughts inmy mind and I think that really
honing in on them, you canchange your.
How you structure your life,what you realize is important,
(19:54):
you make time for that and thenyou realize you can make more
time and things just kind offall into place.
I realize that isn't gonnahappen for everything, but for a
lot of stuff, when I realize Ihave pain points and I focus on
those bigger and better thingshappen because I'm focusing to
try to fix them and they, itturns out much more.
It turns out much better than itdid even in my vision,
Kristen (20:17):
oh a hundred percent.
And it's fascinating listeningas you tell your story.
And I think that mostdefinitely, it's a God thing.
It's interesting how all thethings you said you wanted to
accomplish, the work lifebalance, seeing and talking with
your grandmother more readingthrough the Bible again, all
happened.
Because you lost your job.
(20:38):
I'm not saying it wouldn't havehappened if you didn't lose it,
but something that could havebeen such a negative turned out
to be such a positive with allthe other things that come from
it.
And the part where you talkabout focusing on what you love
and spending time doing that.
Oh, and using your camera morelike that happened too because
of losing your job.
Like how all those pieces kindof fell together because of that
(21:02):
one event happening.
I mean, your whole story givesme chills because it really is
one of those gone things ofthings happening together, I
feel like when you focus more onwhere your attention should be,
when you're doing the things youlove, when you're getting
involved, spending time withfamily, doing those things that
are more important than all theother, trivial things that we
(21:23):
focus our time on.
I think if you're focusing allyour time on trivial things or
the things that don't reallymatter, you can get.
That's where stress and anxietyand worry, and that all happens.
And if you'd been focusing onthose things when you lost your
job, it may have been adifferent outcome, but because
you were already having yourgoals and your plan set on,
(21:45):
these are the positive things Iwanna do.
This is where I want to spend mytime.
These are the things I want todo better or do more of, because
you are in that mindset.
I think that helped too.
Kind of how everything playedout for you.
Would you agree or disagree?
Yes,
Alexis (22:03):
I would agree with this and this hearkens back nearly 10
years ago when I closed myphotography business.
I didn't want to do it, but Ijust felt like I should and I
closed it and I thought, oh myword, I made this, this really
poor decision I had.
A very successful photographybusiness.
I was busy, I loved it.
(22:23):
The next year I got pregnantwith my twins and there is no
coincidence I would've neverbeen able to sustain.
To continue with my business,having twins and five kids and
just being pregnant with them.
There was no way I would've beenable to run a business and be a
photographer at that point in mylife.
I prayfully think about my goalsand I know that not everybody
(22:46):
does, but that's personally whatI do.
When you're listening to thosethings as a Christian and
prayerfully considering them.
It's not coincidence.
It's a God thing and that'sreally the best way I can
describe it.
Kristen (22:59):
Well, yeah, and I think it goes back to like, I really
believe that everything happensfor a reason.
And you know, God, universe,whatever people wanna believe
in, I think that, and I even goto the.
Extent of like, I think evenlittle things happen for a
reason.
Like if I am running late and Idon't get on the road as soon as
I want, and then there is anaccident on the way to work and
(23:20):
I'm like, see if I left on time,that could have been me in the
accident.
I really do think thateverything happens for a reason
and I see examples of it all thetime, or I'll see connections
where, something happened withsomeone back then, it led to
this thing now.
And there's just all thesedifferent things and you can
see, the handiwork of God or theuniverse, whatever people wanna
(23:40):
believe.
You can see all that happeningtogether and you don't always
see it in the moment because sooften we get so focused on just
seeing what's right in front ofus and not being able to see the
big picture.
But then when you take a stepback and you're like, oh my
goodness, that happened becausethis happened, because that
happened because this needed tohappen.
And just seeing that allconnected is amazing.
We talk about all these plansthat we have, but there's always
(24:04):
a bigger plan when we thinkwe're in control and doing
things, we're really not God'sgot his hand on everything and
things are happening for areason in our human minds we get
so into all the nitty gritty andthinking that we control things
and really things are going tohappen the way they're supposed
to happen, regardless of what wedo.
I mean, like you said, it'simportant to still focus and do
the right thing on your own,there's a bigger plan and it's
(24:26):
so cool when you can see itunfold like that, like it has in
your life this year.
Alexis (24:32):
Yeah, I would agree with that.
Last week I filled out myplanner.
I had grand plans, it wassupposed to be a week off with
my kids I got to use my noschool stickers.
I was so excited and I didnothing on that for that week.
And I even think, we didn't evendo some of the meals because.
We were desperately trying tofinish this job, and none of it
(24:53):
happened.
I was gone the majority of theweek and my kids ended up
figuring out what they wanted.
They had a lot of Thanksgivingleftovers, which worked.
Even when I have some weekswhere I do my planner, it gets
thrown to the wayside and youhave to be okay with that.
It's okay.
It's just, it is what it is.
That's life.
Kristen (25:11):
What would you recommend to someone who feels
overwhelmed by goal setting orplanners?
Like what advice could you offerlisteners if maybe they don't
know how to goal plan, or how toset up what they wanna do or
just feel overwhelmed by settingthose goals for them?
Alexis (25:29):
So I think, first of all, sometimes people get
planners and they're reallypretty and they don't wanna use
them, and they don't wanna messthem up, and so they won't ride
in them.
And I think that the best thingyou can do is realize.
You're gonna write something andlife is gonna happen, it's gonna
change.
You could even make a dentistappointment 6 cents down the
(25:50):
road and your dentist could callyou a day before and say, we
need to reschedule.
And it's really okay.
It's okay if you've done it inpen.
It's okay if you've done it inpencil.
It's okay if you've done it inyour erasable pen.
Life happens.
And so I would say that is a bigthing just.
Use your planner and don't worryabout it that way.
Now, as far as setting goals, Ithink that many people have
(26:13):
lofty goals and they have toomany sometimes.
I have been guilty of this too,so I say, if this is your first
year doing it, or first timetrying it, just pick one goal.
One goal is so much easier toattain than 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, you
know?
So if you can just pick onegoal, pick it.
Might I suggest it not be healthrelated.
(26:35):
I know that sounds ridiculous,but everybody has health goals
and I have health goals.
But I think if you set yourselfup like, oh, I'm gonna, this is
gonna be my year, and I'm notsaying you shouldn't do that.
I just know that there's more tolife than what you look like.
Obviously you should feel well,but you know, maybe instead of,
(26:56):
oh, I'm gonna lose weight andI'm going to eat better.
Maybe it's, I'm just gonna walkthree times a week but also
think of something else, whetherit's you're spending more time
with your family, whether it'smoney, you can focus on,
financial.
Health, but then like somethingelse, a hobby to take up
something that you want to domore of that you love in your
life and you just don't havetime for.
(27:16):
The whole point is not to makeit super complicated and not to
have too many because.
When you do that, if you'realready short on time, you are
not gonna have all this time tofit in six goals a week, a day
even to try to obtain for thefollowing year.
And I think it just sets up forfailure and you get frustrated
and you don't wanna continue.
Kristen (27:37):
No, I would agree with all of those.
I love how you talked about theplanner.
Like, oh, you have this prettyplanner.
'cause that's how I was for along time and it was hard for me
to write in it, or to change it.
This is not a sponsored.
Product by any means.
But the friction pens the onesthat you can erase, are the only
pens I use anymore because yes,life changes, things happen.
(27:58):
I am constantly having to erasethings, meetings, move, classes
get canceled, whatever.
Life isn't pretty, so don'tworry about your planner being
pretty, like it needs to befunctionable and lived in.
And I think that is soimportant.
You talk about huge goals.
What I found is like you canstill have like a big goal, but
you still wanna like make likekind of attainable goals that
support it.
(28:18):
Little bite size pieces you cantake maybe.
Your goal is to lose a hundredpounds?
Well, maybe you've gotta startby saying you wanna lose 20
pounds, and that's, it's a pieceof the overall goal.
But on the flip side of that,like you said, I try to never
make any health related goalsbecause I feel like it is so
stereotypical when it comes toNew Year's resolutions.
(28:41):
People are like.
I wanna save more money.
I wanna spend less money.
I wanna lose more weight.
I want to eat healthier.
And it's all the same things andnone of those things are bad by
any means.
I feel like that's for peoplewho.
Let me rewind and say that in away that doesn't sound as mean
as it just sounded in my head.
Those are important goals, butit's almost like they aren't
(29:03):
personalized enough because yes,everybody wants to save more and
spend less, and everybody wantsto lose weight or get more
healthy those are goals, butlook at your life personally and
where you are at and what youwant to do and how you wanna
spend your time.
Alexis, I love that you bring uphobbies.
I have added hobbies to my list.
I will say for the past twoyears, I have not done it either
(29:26):
year.
So not all goals are achievableand attainable and whatever I
have put to play the piano.
For my goal for 2024 and my goalfor 2025, I still have a month
left.
It's possible that I will playthe piano, just so I can check
it off the list, but, I don'tmean just play it like I played
when I was young.
We have a piano in our house.
I just, I want to play more orplay again and I haven't done
(29:49):
that.
Which goes to the other pointabout saying, you know, look at
things that you wanna do thatmaybe you enjoy doing or don't
have time to do.
I'm saying this out loud formyself mostly, but I'm hopeful
that I'm not the only one.
I don't have the time.
It's that I don't make the time,because I have plenty of time
where I am just wasting time.
(30:09):
I am on my phone.
I am watching TV Netflix orYouTube videos just.
Doom scrolling, I clearly haveplenty of time.
I'm just not using it properly.
So while I haven't come up withmy 2026 goals yet, I know that
some of mine are going torevolve around that is to do
(30:30):
more with the time I have and domore meaningful things, whether
it's spending more time with myson and husband freaking playing
the piano, I guess, or doingsomething that at least gets me
off of social media, off myphone, away from the tv.
There is time there.
I just need to be better withit.
So I think that's how I see someof the goal setting and
(30:54):
planning.
Alexis (30:56):
I love that.
Those are, all really goodpoints.
Also, now that I know you wannaplay the piano?
I'm gonna text you and make sureyou're doing that.
I'm just kidding.
Kristen (31:05):
The accountability is huge because I think once you
talk about a goal or you.
Say something out loud.
People should hold youaccountable to it.
Maybe it's because that goal hasonly been written in my planner
and I don't know that I toldanybody that's something I was
going to do.
I also have ride a train in myplanner, which I haven't gotten
to this year I am going to ridea train.
(31:27):
I am going to ride theCalifornia Zephyr and I am going
to go from Chicago to Californiaone way or another, like before
I die, this is something I'mgoing to do and I'm saying out
loud to manifest it and make ithappen.
But no, where was I going withthis?
Oh, yes.
It's important to still talkabout your goals and share and
yeah, maybe have a goal buddy.
And if you do wanna put on thehealth ones and you wanna work
(31:49):
out more or something, then havesomebody you're gonna work out
with.
Because I have found that I ammore likely to do something if
somebody else is relying on me.
'cause I have a harder timesaying no or like, no, not doing
something for someone else thanI do for myself.
I can say no to myself all thetime.
Like, no, Kristen, we're notgoing to the gym.
No Kristen, we're not doingthat.
But like if somebody was gonnathe gym and I have to meet them,
(32:11):
I can't not say.
Alexis, I'm not going to meetyou there.
No, Alexis, I don't wanna gobecause Alexis would be like,
get off your fat, but Kristen,we're going to the gym.
Alexis (32:21):
I still have to talk myself into that every day, so
don't feel bad.
I have to say stop reading yourbook and go do it it's a rough
one.
That's why I don't put it onthere for a goal because life
happens and some days I justdon't wanna,
Kristen (32:33):
I know every day I don't want to, and that's why
six outta seven days, I don't dothat.
Anyway.
A few fun planning questions foryou.
So what's your favorite part,and I know you said you start
filling out your planner inSeptember.
Is that when you start doingyour goals for the next year, or
do you do your goals in January?
Alexis (32:56):
So I really start filling out things like
birthdays and stuff like inSeptember and then the end of
December, like usually Christmasbreak.
I really sit down and hone inon.
Schools, but I've startedmulling them over in my mind
around this time of year.
Like I've just started reallythinking about stuff because we
homeschool.
(33:18):
My year is broken up intodifferent types of seasons.
Like I run like a kid and itsounds ridiculous, but I sound
like a kid and that I so lookforward to summer because there
are no plans.
Most parents don't enjoy summerfrom what I gather.
They're always so excited fortheir kids to go back to school.
And I'm so excited for summerbecause I don't have to teach
kids.
I mean, I have to teach themnormal, but I don't have to
(33:39):
teach school and we just get tolike live life and enjoy it.
My life has kind of broken uplike that.
To be honest with you, when I'mreally focused on a new goal and
reset, we actually do that inAugust or September.
January isn't a new thing forme.
We're just carrying over whatwe've done in August and
September, but I might start mybook count over, or this past
(34:01):
year it was reading through theBible or things like that.
But you know, like, I don'tknow, structural wise, like
health stuff, I really, it kindof focuses on when the kids are
in school, that's kind of how mylife works we will talk like my
husband and I'll talk somefinancial goals probably.
That last week in December,maybe a little before we also do
(34:22):
that every month.
Like we have a budget meetingevery month and I sit down,
every week and plan out stuff.
I think that is why I'm able to.
Keep things attainable becauseif you look at it from a whole
year, it can sometimes seemoverwhelming, whereas if I'm
doing it every week or once amonth, it's not.
Goal-wise will definitely be theend of this month.
Kristen (34:44):
Good.
Alexis (34:45):
So,
Kristen (34:46):
Is there any final piece of advice or tidbit that
you would love to share with ourlisteners that you think would
just really get them to be likegoal setter planning people?
Alexis (35:01):
Meal planning.
I really think if you plannedyour meals, you would save a lot
of money.
You would be healthier, and youmight even pick up a new skill.
With cooking that's justsomething I feel like meal
planning is the easiest way tostart planning.
You don't have to plan anythingelse, but if you can plan your
meals or even five meals a weekand plan to eat out the other
nights, I feel like it was sobeneficial.
(35:24):
When I started doing that, Ifeel like our life changed in
certain aspects.
Kristen (35:28):
I can totally see that.
And I feel like it gives you asense of control too, because no
matter what else happens duringthe day, at least you know what
you're going to make and eat fordinner.
Having that kind of thing toanchor you on the day, I think
that can totally make adifference.
Not even just with the budgetand the health aspect, but it
(35:49):
gives you.
Some semblance of control inyour day too, so I love that
advice.
That's fantastic.
Alexis (35:56):
Yeah.
But before we go, do you have agoal this next year that you're
thinking about outside of piano?
I wanna hear if you do.
Kristen (36:03):
See, I haven't gotten to mine yet because I will get
my planner on December 25th andthen start doing it.
But I will tell you.
While I don't know how I'm goingto write it yet, it really is
going to be to get away fromsocial media.
I'm gonna have a whole episodeabout it sometime because while
I haven't been recordingepisodes and I've been watching
(36:25):
a lot of YouTube, I have beendoing research on.
How bad social media is now it'snot just my opinion, I'm finding
research behind it too and howit is detrimental and all this
stuff that I will save for anepisode.
But I think I might get rid ofsocial media altogether.
I keep going back and forth onthat, but somehow my goal for
2026 is going to be social mediarelated, so stay tuned for more,
(36:51):
I guess.
Alexis (36:53):
That is so interesting because that's kind of been on
my heart.
Mm-hmm.
I think there's a reason forthat and I'm just not sure, how
to do it because.
Everything is online.
Kristen (37:06):
I know.
Alexis (37:06):
Like
Kristen (37:07):
I don't, and that's what I've said too, and I've
used it as an excuse and I'mlike, oh, but my son's school
post stuff's on there.
Yeah.
But they also text and email me,like, I will still somehow get
the information.
I'll be like, oh, but that's howI advertise my podcast.
Yeah.
But I'm really not, and theviews I get on Instagram and
Facebook are so minuscule.
(37:28):
I don't think that even matterseither.
So every excuse I come up with,I've been able to kind of have a
counter to it.
So there's part of me that'slike, well, maybe I'll just
delete it from my phone and goold school, right?
Like back in the day, rememberwhen you were in high school,
college, whatever, you wouldcheck your mail just when you
were at a computer.
And maybe that's fine becausethen I would actually have to
make the effort to go to mystudio and get on my computer
(37:50):
and quote unquote go online, tocheck my stuff.
And I don't think that I woulddo that.
At least not as often as I pickup my phone.
Because that's part of thething.
I don't know that I am ready todelete everything.
Like Katie and I had an episodeearlier this year where she
completely deleted her Instagramaltogether, which was very bold.
I don't know that I'm at thatpoint,'cause I'm not ready to
(38:12):
shut it off forever.
I just want to shut it off toget my sanity back and break the
addiction that I have with it.
Alexis (38:20):
So.
I did that in 2020.
I completely deleted Facebookand Instagram.
I think with Instagram I pausedit though, I didn't lose
anything with Facebook.
I completely deleted it and Ikind of have some regrets
because there are things I'mlike, oh, I kind of wish I had
that.
But then I'm like, I don't, sothe thing that I think was the
hardest though, is there wassome friendships that.
(38:44):
I don't, I didn't get people'snumbers.
I just deleted it.
I can relate, but I think I'mthere again.
I think I'm ready to just likepause it or completely.
I'm with you.
Yeah, I'm with you.
That's, I really am.
I don't think
Kristen (38:56):
I could delete, because the one thing I still love about
Facebook is how my memories showup.
Like just the other day it hadvideos of my son's first
Thanksgiving and him eating pieand me spraying the ready whip
whipped cream into his mouth.
And I'm sure I have those videossaved on a hard drive somewhere
too.
But the fact that Facebook showsme my memories.
I love that part.
So I don't think that I couldcompletely.
(39:19):
Delete all of it, because I feellike so much of it is there and
tied up in it.
But, I'm to the point where I'mkind of done with it.
So stay tuned for 2026 to seehow Kristen actually deals with
social media going forward.
Alexis (39:33):
I love this.
I think this is gonna be afantastic, experiment.
I really do.
I actually, wanna, pay attentionand see how it is.
Maybe we can see how peoplereacted and how it worked for
them yes.
I just, love this.
Kristen (39:46):
I'm about this, so yes, you've got me excited.
Perfect.
And the last thing I will sayfor a goal of 2026, I don't know
if it'll happen in 2026.
It's another one of these thingsthat I have to keep saying out
loud to manifest it or make ithappen, or maybe somebody who
knows somebody can make thishappen for me.
I am going to interview MarkDagal, the head coach of the
Oklahoma City Thunder.
(40:07):
I am going to interview him onmy podcast and talk about how
his leadership and coachingstyle surpasses just being used
in the NBA.
And there's lessons that can beused in everyday life too.
So I have not yet met him.
I have not made any connectionsyet, but this is going to happen
someday.
Maybe 2027.
I don't know.
It's gonna happen.
And if I say it out loud enough,I'll make it happen.
(40:28):
So that's also a goal of mine atthe end.
I love it.
All right, well thanks Alexis.
I love that you're back.
Can't wait to hear more fromyou, in upcoming episodes, and
we'll talk again soon.
Bye bye.
That's a wrap for this week'sepisode.
(40:49):
Thanks so much for spending timewith me.
Until next time, be honest withyourself.
Ask the hard questions, andremember, you are not alone on
this journey.
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