June 4, 2025 • 49 mins
In this heartfelt conclusion to the virtual book club series, Kristen is joined by Kelly and Alexis for one final conversation around Perfect Is Boring (and Tastes Like Kale) by Jess Johnston. Together, they unpack the book’s poignant epilogue and dive into the publisher’s reflection questions, exploring themes like vulnerability, community, and radical self-acceptance.
From the power of saying "me too" to building your own table and inviting others in, the episode celebrates the beauty of imperfection and what it means to live authentically. With thoughtful commentary and a few standout quotes (including one that feels like it was written just for Kristen), this wrap-up feels more like a cozy coffee chat with friends than a formal book review.
Whether you read the book or not, listeners will walk away encouraged to embrace their quirks, champion others, and find joy in being their real, unfiltered selves.
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Episode Transcript
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Kristen (00:01):
Hey everybody.
Welcome back for our finalinstallment of our virtual book
club.
Today I have Kelly and Alexishere.
Hi, Kelly.
Hey.
Hey, Alexis.
Hello.
in case you forgot we arediscussing the book Perfect is
Boring and Tastes like Kale byJess Johnston.
(00:23):
today we are going over theepilogue and some overall
questions about the book So ifyou haven't read the book,
you're still gonna learn a lot.
And if you have read the bookthen you may wanna think of some
of your answers for thesequestions too.
But first we're gonna go overthe epilogue'cause we didn't get
to it last week.
So Alexis, I remember when wewere talking about this last
(00:45):
week, you were looking forwardto talking about the epilogue.
what were some things that stoodout from this for you or
something that you'd wanna sharewith us?
Alexis (00:54):
I really just liked how the epilogue was written.
I think it was a really good,tie up of everything and it kind
of condensed it, I love a goodepilogue where it ties
everything together and it justputs a little bow on it, and
that's how I felt the epiloguewas.
I don't necessarily haveanything that stood out because
she just wrapped up a lot of thebook there, but I just really
(01:15):
liked it.
I felt like it was really welldone.
Kristen (01:17):
No, I agree.
Especially with saying wrap itup.
I felt like it kind of tookeverything she had just spent,
you know, breaking down all thelies in the previous chapters
and then was basically like, buthere's the pep talk friend as
you go out and live your life.
So I agree that it was reallykind of a wrapping it all up and
putting the bow on it.
Kelly, what did you think?
Kelly (01:39):
So I really liked the epilogue also, and I actually
highlighted, It was almost oneof the last lines.
she said, I think if we getquiet and listen, maybe we'll
hear all of us cheering for oneanother.
And I love that.
it just kind of made me thinkback over the whole book and
even just over our conversationsand similar conversations I've
(02:04):
had with other people, and justthe fact that if we are willing
to slow down and get vulnerablewith each other.
So many times you're gonna findpeople who are able to sit there
and say, me too.
And there's so much power inthose words.
that last little line about ifwe just get quiet and listen,
(02:26):
we're all going through the samethings.
We all have the same struggles.
when it comes to things like thelies that the book covers.
I really liked that.
Kristen (02:35):
Well, and that's a good lead in to what I highlighted.
So I highlighted three littlesections and it says, the first
one was, I hope you make yourown table and that you invite
others to come and sit a while.
I hope you do it in exactly yourway.
there's other people that aregoing through the same things.
And if we would be vulnerableand open.
We'd find those people.
(02:55):
And I love that because so manytimes we wait for other people
to find us.
Like where are our friends?
Who's going to include us?
But we can just sit at the tableand invite people to us, and I
loved that.
And the other thing she saidthat I'd highlighted was, I hope
you feel empowered to be thekind of woman you've always
needed in your life to championthe women around you and to
(03:16):
create belonging rather thansearch for it.
Which again, goes with that too.
how often, at least I know Ihave Where are my friends?
Where's my try?
Where's this thing I'm supposedto get when I'm an adult?
instead of looking for it, Icould just go and create it on
my own.
that seems so powerful and Ilove that.
I feel like that's even whatwe've done with virtual book
(03:37):
Club.
We've created this community andthe listeners who are following
along with us and tuning in weekafter week, I think we've built
that too, where we're allsaying, yeah, me too.
And bonding over that The lastthing that I highlighted that I
love, she says, I like yoursparkle.
I like your quirks.
I like your pizazz.
I like your style.
(03:57):
And to me, as the girl in thesparkly shoes, I was like, yeah,
you like my sparkle.
Of course you do.
it felt personal and I feel likethat's the message we need to
give other people too.
calling out what we like aboutpeople, validating them, making
them feel seen, and invitingthem to.
To come along this journey oflife with us, and I just loved,
(04:18):
loved all of it.
Alexis (04:20):
I think that line was specifically for you, Kristen.
It was just perfect.
It was, Jess clearly
Kristen (04:24):
wrote it.
She's like, Kristen's gonna readthis book and this is what she's
gonna need to hear.
And it was so good.
the publisher did put outquestions over the book and I've
been saving them to the end sothat we would have read the
whole book so we could answerall of them.
listeners, I'll have theseposted on my social so you can
see the questions and come upwith your own answers we're
(04:46):
gonna go over these questionsand, we're not all gonna answer
all of them, but we're gonnakind of share our thoughts and
would love for you to reach outand share your thoughts with us.
the first question says, withthis book, Jess Johnston shares
the story of how she went from agirl who hated her flaws and was
at war with herself to embracingthe imperfect woman she is
(05:07):
today.
Talk about whether her lifeexperience resonates for you and
how.
Alexis, what are your thoughtson this one?
Alexis (05:18):
Well.
as we've discussed through thiswhole book, there was so much
that resonated.
I would sit there and as I wasreading I would be giggling
'cause I'm thinking, oh my word.
I can relate to that so much.
and so much of her lifeexperience as far as things that
she struggles with orencounters, I have at one point
or another dealt with orcurrently, you know, are dealing
(05:40):
with.
So there's really resonated withme.
And I think through the booksome of the things that, she's
kind of, I may have workedthrough on my own already or
like I'm working through now.
So I definitely related and justso many stories.
I think probably even just thepeople looking at me one or
(06:03):
dancing, like those reallyresonated with me.
Kristen (06:07):
The second question kind of goes along with that
too, and it says, what doesperfect is boring, have to say
about living authenticallywithout apology.
Take a moment to discuss whatradical self-acceptance looks
like to Jess and to you.
So I really like this questionbecause, living authentically is
something that I've beenpreaching on the podcast about.
(06:30):
You know, for me, trying to bemy authentic self, but also to
accept other people's authenticself, I love how Jess portrayed
it from all the differentthings, the different chapters
of, you know, I don't do thisbecause nobody does this, and
the comparison ones, and justfiguring out who you are I
always come back to the storyabout, dancing in the grocery
(06:52):
store because we've talked abouthow I will do that in Walmart
Not being afraid of who you are.
And I think that's kind of whatit comes to sometimes is those
fear of being afraid of who youare or being afraid of what
people would think about you ifthey knew who you were Like
there's so many different partsto figuring out who am I, what
am I about?
(07:12):
What do I want people to see?
What am I putting out in theworld?
And just being okay with all ofit.
the part of this question thatsays, radical self-acceptance.
I think it's accepting all theparts of you parts that even you
think are flawed may be.
Not actually flaws, and peoplemay see them in something that
(07:32):
they appreciate about you orsomething that they look to for
you, and you can be an examplewhen you are comfortable in your
skin and living out loudaccepting who you are, that can
translate into other peoplebeing more accepting of
themselves too, I need people tolike me.
it's probably gonna be somethingI struggle with forever, but I
(07:54):
feel like I've moved on from notworrying so much about if other
people like me, but being okaythat I like me and understanding
that I don't have to be perfect,but also what is perfect.
Kelly, I think it was you lastweek who was talking about, what
is normal?
my normal is different than yournormal.
just being able to.
(08:15):
Accept myself and accept otherpeople as they are.
I think it would make the worlda better place if we were all
just okay with who we are andwho everybody else was.
Does that make sense?
yeah, definitely.
Kelly (08:28):
I think that leads well into the next question too,
about what does being real meanto you?
and how, if at all, does thebook inspire you to take a
closer look at yourself andlearn to like what you see?
Kristen (08:44):
Oh, yeah.
Kelly (08:44):
you were hitting the nail on the head with that just with
what you were saying about.
Not worrying so much about whatother people think or if they
like you, but being confidentand comfortable with who you
are.
for me, when I think about thisquestion and what does being
real mean, I just think of nothaving to perform when I'm in a
(09:11):
room of people I have sat inrooms and around tables where I
felt the need to perform andportray myself in a way that
would be acceptable to thosepeople.
and not even necessarily in abad way, like a weird peer
pressure kind of way, but justwanting to hide my quirks for
(09:34):
me, the biggest thing aboutbeing real is finding the people
where I don't feel any of thatpressure to perform.
I can be 100%.
Myself, not afraid to show thelittle weird things about me and
not worrying if they're judgingme there are people out there
(09:57):
for you and if you can findthose people, It erases all of
that pressure.
Kristen (10:05):
Well, yeah, and again, not to harp on the Brene Brown
video that I always talk about,but that's exactly what she says
about the difference betweenfitting in and belonging and
fitting in how you're trying tochange yourself to fit in with
whoever you're around.
Whereas belonging is because youactually belong there and you're
just, you're whole authenticself.
(10:25):
Belongs.
And I think that that performingpiece is hard because I've seen
something else on social mediathat says, pay attention to how
you feel after you've beenaround people.
if you find that you areexhausted and mentally tired
because you've had to put on anact or hide who you really are
Those aren't your people.
find the ones that you feelexhilarated with, that you come
(10:48):
home and you're like, that wasthe best time ever.
Like, where did the time go?
And that's really what it is.
I a hundred percent agree withwhat you're saying.
Kelly (10:58):
Yeah.
That reminds me of a thing Ijust sent my friend that was
like a little Instagram thing.
and it basically said somethinglike.
Every time we're together, evenif we're not doing anything and
just chatting when it's over,everything in my world feels
better.
that is so true of thatfriendship for me and with some
(11:19):
other friendships as well.
Like you said, you can eitherhang around people who drain
you.
Or you can hang around peopleand you don't have to be doing
anything special, but when youwalk away, you can feel so
fulfilled from that time thatyou spent together.
Kristen (11:38):
Agree.
So that kind of goes along withthis other question too, where
it says, women struggle withfeeling that they're not quite
enough.
Why do you think women are sohard on themselves?
In what ways does society'semphasis on perfectionism affect
women differently than men?
Alexis, thoughts on this one?
Alexis (12:00):
I think, we can just talk about the beauty standards
when it comes to women womenhave been on magazines or TV as
models, and there's this.
Idea that you have to look acertain way, the beauty industry
purposely targets women to belike this.
And so I think there's some ofthat.
But I don't think men, there'smaybe a little bit more now than
(12:22):
there used to be, but I justdon't think there's the same
type of that constant betweenads and grocery store magazines
and even just sometimes on TVshows Women have to look a
certain way.
So I think there's that plus, Ithink as a society, women
(12:43):
typically, and this is changinga little bit but typically, you
know, women are.
Working.
Plus they also are responsiblefor a lot of what is done at
home and taking care of thekids.
And there's just so muchpressure to get it all done.
working and taking care of kids,there's just not time for
everything.
not saying that, fathers don'tdo that, but typically.
(13:08):
There is more put on women athome with the kids, plus they're
working.
And I just think it's kind ofunrealistic in this idea that,
well, you can have it all, youcan have a career and Kids and
do it all you might be able todo it all for a while, but you
are gonna get burned out andsometimes you have to let it go.
there's more pressure on women,whereas men can just go to work,
(13:30):
even if they have a family.
mom typically takes care ofthem.
At least that's how I've seen itamong my friends and even a
little bit amongst myself myhusband, he does well.
If he has to go to work, I'mgonna take care of the kids and
stuff at home.
that's how I see it, there'sjust not that societal pressure
for men like that.
(13:50):
it gives this, like you'rekeeping up with the Joneses.
Well, she does this so, youknow, do I, I, if she can do all
that, I can do it all.
the reality is.
She's probably not doing it all,and she's a different person.
Her strengths are different thanyours, I think it breeds this
idea of perfection that isn'trealistic and isn't there?
Kristen (14:14):
Agree.
And I would go back to talkingabout even beauty standards and
take it a step further aboutlike body stuff.
Because you know, we've seen iteven more recently where dad
bods are praised, right?
Like, oh, that dad bod, that'sso attractive.
And it's like my husband has adad bod and it is attractive and
I very much enjoy it, but at thesame time it's like.
(14:37):
I kind of have a dad bod andlike,'cause I've got a belly and
like that's not praised, right?
Because women are supposed tostill be, you know, tiny and,
you know, prim and proper Likewomen, make sure you're working
out.
Women.
Make sure you're losing weight.
Women don't eat too much likewomen.
Make sure you keep your curve,you know, have curves, but don't
(14:57):
have too many curves.
Like have children, but don'tlet your body look like you had
children.
there's so much put upon women.
When it comes to beauty and bodystandards, which I don't think
men have it as much now, I stillthink that there are men who
have similar insecurities, youknow, oh, maybe their muscles
aren't enough.
Maybe they do have, a little bitof fat places they don't want my
(15:19):
husband, using him just becausehe's the man I'm closest to,
when he shaves his beard, hisface is.
Not as attractive as when he hashis beard.
We have had these conversationsmultiple times and he's like,
you think I have a fat, uglyface when I don't have a beard?
I'm like, I've never said.
He goes, you have, you've said,my face looks fat when you don't
have a beard.
I'm like, well, it does.
He's like, yeah, because youthink I have a fat, ugly face.
(15:39):
I'm like, you don't have a fat,ugly face.
It just looks better with abeard.
I also grow my own facial hairbecause I'm in my forties now.
I do not look as good with mybeard.
so I keep plucking it.
It feels like every day beautystandards.
But again, the point is
Alexis (15:58):
can I relate to all?
Kristen (16:01):
It's true, standards are a little bit different for
men and women.
I do think men have someinsecurities though, I don't
wanna say that all men are ableto, have dad bods and they're
all okay with it.
I do know that they stillstruggle with it also, I just
don't know that it's at thelevel that women are because
it's thrown in our face so muchmore We often compare ourselves
(16:21):
to our friends or random people.
I do think that's hard.
the part of the question sayinglike, why in case, I haven't
said it enough, it's socialmedia.
If we didn't see.
All the other people livingtheir quote unquote best lives,
we wouldn't feel so crappy aboutourselves.
to your point, women areexpected to have a job take care
(16:42):
of the kids and do all theactivities, it's because we see
this girlfriend over here.
Posting all the activities she'sdoing with her kids and her
full-time job and her home issuper clean.
Like we're seeing this becausepeople are putting that out
there, real or not.
Our brain interprets it as ifshe can do it, then I can do it
even if she's not doing it.
(17:04):
And that is something ourparents are grandparents
generations before.
Didn't have, they may have knownwhat their neighbor was doing.
Thus the keeping up with theJoneses phrase, but they didn't
know what Patricia across townwas necessarily doing, and they
didn't know what Beverly inWichita, Kansas was doing
because they didn't care.
(17:25):
That wasn't on their radar.
They were focusing more on them.
If we get back to that and justfocus on ourselves and who we
are and what's going on in ourfamily and not worrying about
what everybody else is doing,whether it's real or not real,
'cause it's probably not, Ithink it would be a whole lot
better.
And I think that's kind of whatthe book was getting at the end.
Agreed.
(17:45):
I get so passionate about this,you guys.
Perfect is boring.
Emphasizes the importance ofchoosing a messy, meaningful,
pleasurable life over strivingfor a just so curated one.
How can we incorporate themindset into our daily lives and
encourage others to do the same?
(18:06):
Does anybody wanna weigh in onthis one first?
Kelly (18:10):
So again, not to.
Harp on social media again, overand
Alexis (18:16):
over again.
But here we,
Kelly (18:17):
I was thinking the same thing.
do I do it?
Do I do it?
Freaking Zuckerberg's gonnathink we're
Kristen (18:23):
trying to tear him down, like bring down meta,
right?
Kelly (18:29):
So, that's literally the first thing that comes to mind
with.
Everything in that question.
because, like you were justsaying, you can look at these
people on social media and itlooks like they have it all
together.
Like, oh, she has a full-timejob and she just took her kids
to this really cool park on aFriday afternoon.
how'd she have time to do that?
(18:50):
Oh, and look, she just posted apicture of her kitchen and it
looks like it's never beencooked in because everything
looks so clean and perfect Butthat's probably not real.
she's either got someone comingin and cleaning for her, or she
took a picture right after shecleaned it and 95% of the time
it looks nothing like thatphoto.
Kristen (19:12):
she really doesn't cook in her kitchen because she's
buying McDonald's and feedingher kids, even though she tells
you that they only eat kale.
There's also
Kelly (19:23):
that possibility.
Yeah, I would just say as far ashow we can incorporate.
A mindset to stop striving forthose impossibilities, just stop
looking at all of that.
I know easier said than done,but seriously, take steps to
mute some of that noise in yourmind It's so much better when
(19:49):
we're not constantly comparingour every day to what we're
seeing as we doom scroll.
Alexis (19:57):
Yes.
I think to piggyback on that, Ihave found that there are a few
counts that I actually reallyenjoy following on social media
because they don't sugarcoat.
Real life.
specifically there's one, she'sa homesteader and she is a big
fan of showing the everyday andlike this is a working kitchen.
(20:19):
It's a mess.
And that's just how it is.
And we didn't get this donetoday, but I'll get it done,
maybe next week.
I really admire her.
She's the one that got methinking your true friends don't
care what your house looks likeand they come over and offer to
help you, If you're canning,work on canning together I
really have found accounts likethat are my favorite ones to
(20:40):
follow rather than trying tofollow influencers that are just
unrealistic The other one I lovefollowing is a lady that just
does like.
Everyday dinners an apartment,you know, just a typical family
and apartment in Philadelphiawith two kids and how they, work
So I think there are accountsout there, but also if you are
(21:04):
to encourage just to show what'sreal.
Like if you have a nanny, say,you know, my, I had a nanny,
rather than just making it outlike, you're taking care of your
kids.
All day when Billy might not be,and that's okay.
It's okay if you have a nanny.
It's okay if you have somebodythat cleans your house.
It's okay if your kitchen is amess.
Just being more authentic onlineand really showing who it is, or
(21:24):
just don't show us all of yourlife online either, because
really we don't need to see thateither.
Kelly (21:30):
I agree though.
I do think that there are peopleout there on these platforms
that we love to hate.
who can be really enjoyable tofollow because they aren't
trying to portray a perfectlife.
I have found the same thing, Ilove following the people who.
Just not, not that they're likeairing their dirty laundry on
(21:53):
social media, but they're justlike showing you that like life
is not perfect and that's okay.
Kristen (21:59):
Yeah, someone you wanna follow too.
She's more on YouTube too, israw beauty.
Christie, I love her and Istarted following her years ago
when she was just doing makeuptutorials, but now she lives in
the Pacific Northwest.
She's got her garden, she's gother perfect look.
Not, I don't say perfect in abad way.
her stuff is adorable, but she'salso totally real.
this is me, this is my family.
(22:21):
I love watching her because sheis so real.
instead of complaining aboutwhat other people are showing,
we can put out more in the worldtoo.
Like we wanna see more realstuff so we can put out more of
our real stuff.
here's my messy house.
I don't have a messy house,because I have a husband who's
OCD, who cleans it likeincessantly, but my kitchen
that's only half remodeled, likewe've got the back splash done
(22:42):
on one side and the cabinet'supdated.
But then the other side, there'sjust no backsplash because the
olds come off, but the newhasn't gone up.
it's a whole thing.
but like.
That's, we live with that.
Like nobody cares.
Kitchen's fine.
but we could get better about,you know, posting unfiltered
pictures, showing what life isreally like.
Or Kelly, to your other point,just don't post anything.
(23:03):
nobody needs to know everysecond of your life.
And I think I mentioned it inone of the earlier episodes
where.
I will often think before I postsomething, like, why am I
sharing this?
am I doing it to get clicks andlikes?
is it because it's something Ireally want to share that I
think people will appreciate orrespond to I mean, clicks and
likes are nice, but again, whyare we doing it?
(23:25):
Who's it really for?
Alexis (23:27):
And I think that's a good question to ask in general.
at least for me, you know, wecame on to social media and look
back at anything you firstoriginally posted you would
never do that now.
sometimes people still forgetthat we should filter and just
like.
Really, are you just kind of,throwing up on the internet and
(23:48):
does it need to be said orshared, or can you just maybe go
talk to somebody in real life
Kristen (23:54):
share
Alexis (23:54):
it, you know?
Kristen (23:55):
Right.
I saw, I can't remember if itwas a real, or if I just saw it
on Facebook it was a party whereyou invite your friends over and
you read old Facebook statusesfrom like 2007, 2008.
And you guess who at the partyis the one that posted it?
And I was like.
That sounds like the most funever because back in the day
(24:17):
when Facebook was first around,it was literally a status update
and it would be like, Kristenis, or whatever, and you would
have to start it with a verb,like what you're doing, you
know, watching this eating TacoBell and Twitter was kind of
like that too when it firststarted.
Like you literally were sayingwhat you were doing.
And I remember being so angryand people wouldn't use a verb
(24:37):
there.
I'm like, it's supposed to be,is something you can't just post
anything there.
'cause I am very big onsemantics and words matter.
But I think that kind of partywould be so fun and funny.
Kelly (24:51):
that would be hilarious.
Kristen (24:53):
I'll make it happen sometime.
All right, moving on.
What are lies that keep you fromdreaming big?
How do you face life'schallenges without fear of
failure?
And Alexis, I still love yourstory from last week's episode
about wanting to be a flowerfarmer, which again, I'm
manifesting for you because youare going to do it.
(25:16):
but what are some of the lies?
Like why do you have such a hardtime dreaming big on that one?
Or how do you face challengeswithout fear of failure?
Alexis (25:26):
Okay, well first of all, one thing I've noticed in the
past year and a half, kind ofsince COVID, is everybody wants
to be a flower farmer.
And so I worry that it getsoversaturated.
It kind of did that withphotography.
I used to have my ownphotography business, and you
(25:47):
have to be careful if it getsoversaturated, it's just not
gonna be worth it.
And flower farming is hard.
farming in general is hardbecause you're at the mercy of
the weather and you know, youhave some years where they could
literally break you and then youhave some years, which are
fantastic.
So there's that aspect of it.
And then the reality is in orderto have a.
(26:13):
I need land and specificallywhere we live, you know, land is
just outrageous.
It's extremely expensive.
in Idaho, most people don'trealize this, but 75% is,
federal land.
So there's not much land thatpeople actually can own because
(26:35):
most of it's, Federal.
And it's desert in the south, soyou have to have water rights.
And it's just kind of one ofthose things that doesn't seem
attainable right now because ofwhere we are in our life with
raising five kids and that costsand stuff.
So, maybe if we moved somewhere,Farming.
(26:56):
money is really a hugehindrance.
I don't know that it'll ever bewhere I would want to be, where
I would dream of a flower farm.
Kristen (27:06):
I was waiting to see if you were gonna say anything
else.
you are the only person I knowwho wants to be a flower farmer,
so I don't think it'soversaturated, at least not
where I'm at.
you're the flower farmer that Iknow.
I would buy your flowers becauseI enjoy shopping small business,
and I would shop your smallbusiness of flower farming, and
then you'd get bigger becausemore people would buy from you
(27:27):
as a small business, and it'd bea big business and a real flower
farmer.
Well, let's continue out
Kelly (27:35):
for
Kristen (27:35):
you.
What
Kelly (27:37):
I said, Kristen, has it all planned out for you?
I do,
Kristen (27:40):
and I'm manifesting it.
Alexis is going to be a flowerfarmer.
It's gonna happen.
Maybe not today.
Alexis (27:47):
kids are out of the house.
Yeah, maybe when they're out ofthe house.
And it can be something that,you know, at that point Is a lot
of it costs a lot.
when they're out of the house,that can be something I spend my
time doing we'll see.
It's still in the back of mymind and I still talk about it
frequently
Kristen (28:02):
Well, and I think maybe you just need to shift your
perspective a little bit.
It's not about waiting for themto get out of the house because
while they are at the house,they are free labor.
You have your flower farm handsright on hand.
I don't know what farmingentails if you need farm hands
(28:24):
or not, but,
Alexis (28:25):
that is when you get large scale, that is something
to consider.
Kristen (28:29):
Problem solver.
Kelly, do you have any thoughtsabout any of the lies that are
keeping you from dreaming big orhow you face challenges without
fear of failure?
Kelly (28:40):
one thing that came to mind is that I think sometimes
we can have a dream and thedream itself, like I think a lot
of dreams they're, we knowthey're gonna take hard work and
it's not gonna be an easy pathto achieve but sometimes I think
the dream itself.
(29:02):
Is actually just terrifying.
we're kind of walking throughsomething like that right now.
one of the lies I felt walkinginto that was that we have to do
this in our own strength and onour own.
First of all, that's not true atall for us.
(29:23):
we're Christians and so we knowwalking into this that we have
the Lord strength and that he'scalled us to do this.
and so we can find comfortthere, but also we have.
Gained a village around us heresince we moved to the state a
(29:44):
couple of years ago.
And we have family and friendssometimes when you have a dream
that you're walking towards, itcan feel really scary to think
that you're on your own doingit.
But it doesn't have to be thatway.
We're being reminded of that nowthat it's okay to lean on your
(30:08):
village when things do get hard.
Kristen (30:12):
I think that we are always exactly where we are
supposed to be.
Like everything happens for areason there was an exercise I
learned years ago and it wasabout, saying, what if Over and
over again.
Like come up with your, youknow, well if you did this, you
know, well what if you did that?
And you kind of come up withlike things that could happen,
like, well, what if thishappened?
And it's to get your brain torealize what worst case scenario
(30:34):
is, probably actually isn't thatbad.
And I think being able to facefears like that, like what's the
worst that's gonna happen if Ido this thing?
Like, I'm not gonna die.
So.
And maybe that's not a greatexample, but I think when it
comes to facing the fears, Fearof failure shouldn't be that big
of a fear.
I feel weird even saying thatbecause I know it is something I
(30:56):
struggle with.
But when I was going through mymaster's program we talked about
failure as a positive, Iremember writing it down fail
early and fail often because youlearn more from failing than
from succeeding I don't know ifyou remember back to when you
were in school, like if therewas a pretest or a practice test
or a worksheet and you gotsomething wrong.
You would remember that answermore than the ones you got,
(31:18):
right?
Because you had to work harderto learn it And I think it's
kind of that same thing if youmake a mistake, learn from it.
Don't do it again.
Change it we should be trying tofail.
Even people who are inventorsand thinkers going outside of
the box They're not gonna knowsomething works unless they know
what doesn't work.
So you've gotta have thosefailures, you've gotta learn
(31:39):
from them, and it shouldn't be afear of failing.
It should be something you lookforward to.
if you can change yourperspective to that, fail early,
fail often, learn from it andmove on, then it's something you
wanna do.
Hey, the sooner I can fail andget this over with, the sooner I
can get to the success partFlower farmer brilliant,
amazing, whatever it is starpodcaster, whatever the dream
(32:02):
is, make the mistakes, learnfrom it and move on.
I know it's easier said thandone, but I think that's how we
have to get to that mindset toget over the fear of rejection
or fear of failure.
Yeah.
That's a really good point.
Thank you.
I thought so too.
So Jess offers hard one, oftenhilarious words of advice in
(32:26):
this book.
Which ones did you take to heartand why?
Kelly (32:31):
So, one of the biggest takeaways for me.
Were the parts where she talkedabout staying in your lane.
when we started reading thisbook, that was something I had
been struggling with a couple ofmonths leading into us starting
this book and doing the episodesfor the podcast, I was
struggling with comparing myseason to others around me and
(32:57):
feeling like I was failing myson in different ways and
feeling like this is just toomuch.
This is hard.
nobody else's journey looks.
Similar to ours, at least thepeople around us.
that was something I'd beenstruggling with a lot.
(33:17):
I loved when she had a wholechapter, that focused on staying
in your lane and knowing thatlike the season that I am in,
it's okay if it doesn't looklike everyone else's season
right now.
In the grand scheme of things,I'm probably not the only one.
There's probably actually a lotof people out there walking
(33:40):
through very similar seasonsjust like me, even if they're
not in my, close circles.
but regardless, I can findsatisfaction in my season if I
just focus on.
My day to day stop lookingaround me at what everyone else
is doing or not doing And sheactually had a highlight from
(34:05):
The epilogue, because she wentback to that whole stay in your
lane concept.
I highlighted this.
It said it's crazy, the impact aperson can have when they stay
in their lane, when they do lifein their own way and when they
open their home, their heartsand their table for others to
sit at.
I loved that so much.
Kristen (34:26):
Yeah, that is a powerful statement.
I will say the book writ Large,was phenomenal.
It's the kind of book I willprobably reread.
I highlighted so much in myKindle Kelly, I can't remember
if we said this on the podcastor not, but I know you were
doing the audio book and thenyou went and got the Kindle
(34:48):
version so you could makehighlights.
I read the Kindle version.
It has highlights, but I waslike, I think I wanna buy the
actual book and go and put thehighlights through it so I can
flip through it too.
So I thought it was funny thatwe both loved it so much that
we, went through multiple.
I didn't buy the book yet, butI've thought about doing it.
So
Kelly (35:07):
I also highly recommend audio to anyone who doesn't
wanna sit and read it right nowbecause listening to just read
the story.
Knowing that it's all about herand her family and things.
it was so funny.
Like just the way that she readit was so good.
Kristen (35:24):
I will say, the part that stuck with me from the
book, the one that I keep goingback to, even though we're done
reading it, is the one about myjob is to keep.
People happy.
And I feel like after I gotthrough that I kind of worked
through some of my own issues ofbeing authentically me and not
caring as much what other peoplethink.
I feel like I have a whole newlife, like I don't have to keep
(35:47):
everybody happy.
And it's okay if I'm the villainin somebody else's story.
And it's okay if I'm not a maincharacter in somebody's story.
'cause even side characters areimportant.
there is so much.
I took from this about justreally refocusing on how I see
myself, I really do feel it'sbuilt confidence and that I have
let go of some of the bad thingsI was holding onto, if that
(36:11):
makes sense.
Yeah.
So those are the main questionsfrom the publisher we were going
to cover.
I did have maybe one or twoother questions for you, that I
didn't tell you about ahead oftime, because I didn't want you
to.
Think too hard on the answers.
when we had the first episode wehadn't even really read the book
(36:34):
or maybe we just kind of gotteninto a little bit, we kind of
talked about expectations and asI recall, both of you were like,
oh, I don't know about this.
I don't really read books likethis.
I'm not really a self-help book.
Person.
Like, I don't know what they'regonna tell me, but, okay.
Kristen wants us to read thebook.
We'll read the book.
So I would like to We did notsound like that.
(36:55):
Okay.
You didn't sound like that.
We did not sound like that.
I added that for dramatic flareand you definitely didn't say
the part of, we'll read it'causeKristen wants to read it.
but you did anyway.
so now that we've gone throughit and discussed it for the
entire month of May.
I wanna know what you guys thinknow, if the book met or exceeded
your expectations, or if itchanged your opinion at all.
Alexis (37:19):
Yes, it was an excellent book.
I really enjoyed it.
I did not give it five stars Ithink I gave it 4.5.
I don't remember when I ratedit, Either way.
It was a really good book and itprobably will make top 10 for
the year of books I've read, so.
Yay.
That's awesome.
I really enjoyed it.
Oh, that's high praise from youtoo.
Yeah, for sure.
(37:41):
I think it'll make top 10 lastweek we had, our homeschool prom
and I photographed it.
group prom like events is not mytypical thing that I am good at
photographing.
I did it because I just did itfor a memory for the kids to
have.
And there's another photo momthat's there, and its very
(38:01):
intimidating.
She's really good at what shedoes.
She does some events and she'sjust really good.
She's better than I am and Ihave no problem saying that, but
I always feel very intimidatedwhen I'm with her.
And instead, this time I pulledher in and had her help me.
She helped me with it to keepthings organized typically she's
(38:23):
just intimidating to me.
I wouldn't have talked to herand spent time visiting her.
And I did.
And then I also got the name ofthe guy that was the DJ who
taught the kids some ballroomdancing and stuff.
'cause they give dance classesfor my husband and I to do,
like, some ballroom or justdancing in general.
(38:45):
Because remember I don't dance.
Mm-hmm.
So I feel like it was a lot morefun and I didn't feel so like.
Nerve, like come home from thatand just like exhausted.
'cause I felt like I couldn't bewho I was because I was who I
am.
And I just said, look, thisisn't my house.
Can you help me?
then I was able to visit withthe other moms and didn't try to
(39:06):
worry about what I was gonna sayor am I gonna come across as
like, Just you have insecuritiesabout what you say, like people,
and you're like, oh, did Ireally say that?
But I didn't do that.
this is who I am and this is howI'm gonna be.
So I think it was good as far asthat.
Kristen (39:23):
I love that.
Love that so much, Kelly.
Kelly (39:30):
Yeah, so I would say it exceeded my expectations.
I really am not into self-helpbooks.
if I'm gonna read, I'm like apsych thriller junkie.
this was a total change of pacefor my usual reading, Honestly,
it was so good.
I did not expect to laugh somuch but I laughed out loud
(39:51):
multiple times.
that made it really enjoyable.
And there were so many goodlittle tidbits, which is why I
went back and.
Bought the Kindle versionbecause I wanna skim back
through the chapters andhighlight some things so that I
can, have them saved to my goodreads and look at them again
(40:11):
later.
A moment of honesty andvulnerability.
When we first started doing theepisodes, the first one or two,
I remember when we got off therecording having all these
thoughts like, oh my gosh, Irambled way too much.
Like, what did I even say onthere?
(40:34):
They probably wished that Iwould've talked less.
You know, just all the thingslike downing myself or whatever
I may have said.
but as we got further in thebook, I did notice that the last
couple of recordings that wedid, I.
Wasn't struggling so much withthose thoughts.
I was just like, well, I saidwhat I said and nobody stopped
(40:57):
me, so it must have been fine.
Kristen (40:59):
I love that.
And yes, I can definitely tell.
I think it became morecomfortable for all of us as we
went on.
And I do think part of it isbecause, we became more
comfortable with each other.
And also I do think it's some ofthe material from the book too,
really building upon being okaywith being vulnerable and
(41:21):
sharing and being authentic.
Like I know there's been somenights because, we record later
in the evening.
It's usually a day.
I've worked all day.
I'm gonna come home, havedinner, and then we have to
record and I'm just exhaustedfrom the day.
It's usually later in the week.
I'm tired, I don't wanna do it.
And then every time after we do,I'm like, that was phenomenal.
(41:41):
This is so great.
And then I'm awake for like twomore hours.
I'm uploading it already to mysoftware.
I think after one of the firstones, Kelly, you and I were
texting until it was like after11 my time, which is like after
midnight your time.
Yeah.
I'm doing the same thing withAlexis when I made one of the
graphics for last week's thing.
I like message her on Instagramand I'm like, I don't wanna text
(42:02):
you in case you're asleep, butthis seems more private.
are you still awake?
Because I was so excited aboutthe clip that I wanted her to
see it right then.
talking about being with thepeople that you belong with and
not being tired after it.
That's how I feel with you guys.
Like, you give me life.
And I'm like, yes, this isawesome.
This is so great.
You can do this forever.
Kelly (42:23):
same thing happened last week.
whenever we recorded, I was.
So tired that day, and I eventold my husband, I really don't
feel like doing this.
even when we first got on, Ifelt like I was kind of a
zombie, zoning out.
But then when we were done, Iwas wide awake It took me hours
to fall asleep after that.
Alexis (42:42):
Mm-hmm.
Kelly (42:43):
It happens.
Alexis (42:44):
Well, there was one night too.
I was the one that was tiredtonight.
I told everybody, I'm like, oh,I have book club and I'm tired
and I don't wanna do anything.
Kristen (42:53):
Well, and there was a few weeks ago too, Alexis texted
me away home from work.
She's like, I just don't thinkI'm gonna be at book club
tonight.
And I'm like.
Okay.
Like, that's fine.
No worries.
Like you do you And then like,what was it like 10 minutes
before it supposed to start?
She texted me, she's like,actually, can I still come?
And I'm like, no, Alexis, like,we replaced you, we uninvited
you.
Like of course.
So I love, so it's been so good.
(43:16):
It has been.
So I wanna close with Three morethings.
I'm gonna make them quickthough, since you guys loved her
book as I knew you would.
I want to give a quick plug forher other ones.
The other ones she wrote withAmy Weatherly.
So they're the co-founders andones that keep up with the
sister.
I am with you Facebook page.
the first one was I'll be there,but I'm wearing sweatpants.
(43:39):
And then the other one is herefor it, the good, the bad, and
the queso.
I have read both of them.
I at least own here for it.
I might have the other one too.
I can't remember if I just didthat as a library book or a real
book.
Highly recommend both of them.
It's the same kind of feel.
You're gonna get honesty, humorstories.
You're gonna feel better aboutyourself and your friendships
(44:00):
after you read them.
So recommend those.
What I wanted to talk about.
One last thing about this book,the Perfect is Boring and tastes
like Kale.
You may recall from one of ourfirst episodes, we had quite the
debate over kale of who likedit, who didn't.
Alexis likes it, Kelly and Idon't, and other foods that we
(44:21):
like or whatever.
And it wasn't until a week or soago I'm like, oh my gosh, I've
gotta share this with the girls,but I wanna wait till the
finale.
I finally figured out why sheused that phrase.
this is my interpretation Noteverybody likes kale.
Not everybody likes you, andthat's okay.
(44:42):
Different people like differentthings because we're all
different people and that'sokay.
And I think that's kind of thewhole gist of the book.
People aren't going to like youjust like they don't like kale.
It doesn't mean they aren't goodpeople.
It doesn't mean there's anythingwrong with you.
It's just what it is.
So I didn't know if this wassome Huge thing.
(45:02):
Or if you guys had any thoughtson that too.
Like,'cause she couldn't haveused kale as just a random word
there.
Like it had to have a meaning,right?
Is this the meaning?
Kelly (45:12):
Maybe it
Kristen (45:13):
makes
Kelly (45:13):
sense.
It's the one I'm sticking to.
And I mean kale isn't a badthing.
It's good for you, right?
But it might not be everybody'sfavorite thing, just like you.
I'm not saying like you'cause Ilove you.
No, for real.
you may not be for everyone, butit doesn't mean you're a bad
person or that you're not a funperson to be around.
(45:36):
You just may not be everyone's
Kristen (45:38):
favorite.
Right.
I could be somebody's kale, butI could also be somebody's
buffalo chicken.
Kelly (45:43):
Exactly.
You're my buffalo chicken.
Kristen (45:46):
Well, you guys are my kill.
How about that?
Oh yes.
Perfect.
And you're on my pizzas.
So we have come full circle.
Oh, we are unhinged.
Well, the
Alexis (45:58):
last thing I went, let's be real.
I'd rather just have a cookie.
Kristen (46:01):
Mm,
Alexis (46:02):
That's just better.
Kristen (46:04):
So with all that being said, I feel like a virtual book
club was very successful.
So what I wanna ask you, both myco-hosts and listeners, should
we do another virtual book club?
Kelly (46:20):
I think so.
Kristen (46:21):
Okay.
So my kids and my husband, Itold my husband, we were
recording the last one and he'slike, what's your next book
gonna be?
I'm like, what?
And he's like, aren't you guysdoing another book?
And I was like, I dunno.
I mean, yeah, probably sometime.
so we will, stay tuned.
I'm sure we can squeeze anothervirtual book club sometime in
season two, which will be comingout sometime in August.
(46:43):
So, We'll see where it goes.
But as always, Kelly Alexis,thank you so much for being with
me on this journey.
I think it was phenomenal.
I think we are better peoplefrom it.
I hope the people listening feellike they've learned something
too, whether they read with usor just, listened to us ramble
on about all the things we werelearning, They were getting
(47:06):
things from it too.
so as we close, any finalthoughts from either of you on
the book or anything?
Life in general.
Alexis (47:13):
I don't really have anything other than to say thank
you for doing this and lettingme help co.
It was fun.
Kristen (47:19):
Awesome.
Kelly (47:20):
Yeah, I was gonna say thanks for the opportunity.
I had a lot of fun and I thinkit'll be fun if we do another
one sometime.
Kristen (47:30):
We totally will.
And I think that even in the offseason, our AI friends are still
gonna live their best lives.
So also stay tuned to socialmedia to see what else they do.
'cause I'm really excited aboutit.
Me too.
All right guys.
Well thank you everyone.
(47:50):
Thanks for listening and, thanksAlexis and Kelly.
All right, talk to you later.
Bye.
Hey everybody.
Welcome back for our finalinstallment of our virtual book
club.
Today I have Kelly and Alexishere.
Hi, Kelly.
Hey.
Hey, Alexis.
Hello.
in case you forgot we arediscussing the book Perfect is
Boring and Tastes like Kale byJess Johnston.
(00:23):
today we are going over theepilogue and some overall
questions about the book So ifyou haven't read the book,
you're still gonna learn a lot.
And if you have read the bookthen you may wanna think of some
of your answers for thesequestions too.
But first we're gonna go overthe epilogue'cause we didn't get
to it last week.
So Alexis, I remember when wewere talking about this last
(00:45):
week, you were looking forwardto talking about the epilogue.
what were some things that stoodout from this for you or
something that you'd wanna sharewith us?
Alexis (00:54):
I really just liked how the epilogue was written.
I think it was a really good,tie up of everything and it kind
of condensed it, I love a goodepilogue where it ties
everything together and it justputs a little bow on it, and
that's how I felt the epiloguewas.
I don't necessarily haveanything that stood out because
she just wrapped up a lot of thebook there, but I just really
(01:15):
liked it.
I felt like it was really welldone.
Kristen (01:17):
No, I agree.
Especially with saying wrap itup.
I felt like it kind of tookeverything she had just spent,
you know, breaking down all thelies in the previous chapters
and then was basically like, buthere's the pep talk friend as
you go out and live your life.
So I agree that it was reallykind of a wrapping it all up and
putting the bow on it.
Kelly, what did you think?
Kelly (01:39):
So I really liked the epilogue also, and I actually
highlighted, It was almost oneof the last lines.
she said, I think if we getquiet and listen, maybe we'll
hear all of us cheering for oneanother.
And I love that.
it just kind of made me thinkback over the whole book and
even just over our conversationsand similar conversations I've
(02:04):
had with other people, and justthe fact that if we are willing
to slow down and get vulnerablewith each other.
So many times you're gonna findpeople who are able to sit there
and say, me too.
And there's so much power inthose words.
that last little line about ifwe just get quiet and listen,
(02:26):
we're all going through the samethings.
We all have the same struggles.
when it comes to things like thelies that the book covers.
I really liked that.
Kristen (02:35):
Well, and that's a good lead in to what I highlighted.
So I highlighted three littlesections and it says, the first
one was, I hope you make yourown table and that you invite
others to come and sit a while.
I hope you do it in exactly yourway.
there's other people that aregoing through the same things.
And if we would be vulnerableand open.
We'd find those people.
(02:55):
And I love that because so manytimes we wait for other people
to find us.
Like where are our friends?
Who's going to include us?
But we can just sit at the tableand invite people to us, and I
loved that.
And the other thing she saidthat I'd highlighted was, I hope
you feel empowered to be thekind of woman you've always
needed in your life to championthe women around you and to
(03:16):
create belonging rather thansearch for it.
Which again, goes with that too.
how often, at least I know Ihave Where are my friends?
Where's my try?
Where's this thing I'm supposedto get when I'm an adult?
instead of looking for it, Icould just go and create it on
my own.
that seems so powerful and Ilove that.
I feel like that's even whatwe've done with virtual book
(03:37):
Club.
We've created this community andthe listeners who are following
along with us and tuning in weekafter week, I think we've built
that too, where we're allsaying, yeah, me too.
And bonding over that The lastthing that I highlighted that I
love, she says, I like yoursparkle.
I like your quirks.
I like your pizazz.
I like your style.
(03:57):
And to me, as the girl in thesparkly shoes, I was like, yeah,
you like my sparkle.
Of course you do.
it felt personal and I feel likethat's the message we need to
give other people too.
calling out what we like aboutpeople, validating them, making
them feel seen, and invitingthem to.
To come along this journey oflife with us, and I just loved,
(04:18):
loved all of it.
Alexis (04:20):
I think that line was specifically for you, Kristen.
It was just perfect.
It was, Jess clearly
Kristen (04:24):
wrote it.
She's like, Kristen's gonna readthis book and this is what she's
gonna need to hear.
And it was so good.
the publisher did put outquestions over the book and I've
been saving them to the end sothat we would have read the
whole book so we could answerall of them.
listeners, I'll have theseposted on my social so you can
see the questions and come upwith your own answers we're
(04:46):
gonna go over these questionsand, we're not all gonna answer
all of them, but we're gonnakind of share our thoughts and
would love for you to reach outand share your thoughts with us.
the first question says, withthis book, Jess Johnston shares
the story of how she went from agirl who hated her flaws and was
at war with herself to embracingthe imperfect woman she is
(05:07):
today.
Talk about whether her lifeexperience resonates for you and
how.
Alexis, what are your thoughtson this one?
Alexis (05:18):
Well.
as we've discussed through thiswhole book, there was so much
that resonated.
I would sit there and as I wasreading I would be giggling
'cause I'm thinking, oh my word.
I can relate to that so much.
and so much of her lifeexperience as far as things that
she struggles with orencounters, I have at one point
or another dealt with orcurrently, you know, are dealing
(05:40):
with.
So there's really resonated withme.
And I think through the booksome of the things that, she's
kind of, I may have workedthrough on my own already or
like I'm working through now.
So I definitely related and justso many stories.
I think probably even just thepeople looking at me one or
(06:03):
dancing, like those reallyresonated with me.
Kristen (06:07):
The second question kind of goes along with that
too, and it says, what doesperfect is boring, have to say
about living authenticallywithout apology.
Take a moment to discuss whatradical self-acceptance looks
like to Jess and to you.
So I really like this questionbecause, living authentically is
something that I've beenpreaching on the podcast about.
(06:30):
You know, for me, trying to bemy authentic self, but also to
accept other people's authenticself, I love how Jess portrayed
it from all the differentthings, the different chapters
of, you know, I don't do thisbecause nobody does this, and
the comparison ones, and justfiguring out who you are I
always come back to the storyabout, dancing in the grocery
(06:52):
store because we've talked abouthow I will do that in Walmart
Not being afraid of who you are.
And I think that's kind of whatit comes to sometimes is those
fear of being afraid of who youare or being afraid of what
people would think about you ifthey knew who you were Like
there's so many different partsto figuring out who am I, what
am I about?
(07:12):
What do I want people to see?
What am I putting out in theworld?
And just being okay with all ofit.
the part of this question thatsays, radical self-acceptance.
I think it's accepting all theparts of you parts that even you
think are flawed may be.
Not actually flaws, and peoplemay see them in something that
(07:32):
they appreciate about you orsomething that they look to for
you, and you can be an examplewhen you are comfortable in your
skin and living out loudaccepting who you are, that can
translate into other peoplebeing more accepting of
themselves too, I need people tolike me.
it's probably gonna be somethingI struggle with forever, but I
(07:54):
feel like I've moved on from notworrying so much about if other
people like me, but being okaythat I like me and understanding
that I don't have to be perfect,but also what is perfect.
Kelly, I think it was you lastweek who was talking about, what
is normal?
my normal is different than yournormal.
just being able to.
(08:15):
Accept myself and accept otherpeople as they are.
I think it would make the worlda better place if we were all
just okay with who we are andwho everybody else was.
Does that make sense?
yeah, definitely.
Kelly (08:28):
I think that leads well into the next question too,
about what does being real meanto you?
and how, if at all, does thebook inspire you to take a
closer look at yourself andlearn to like what you see?
Kristen (08:44):
Oh, yeah.
Kelly (08:44):
you were hitting the nail on the head with that just with
what you were saying about.
Not worrying so much about whatother people think or if they
like you, but being confidentand comfortable with who you
are.
for me, when I think about thisquestion and what does being
real mean, I just think of nothaving to perform when I'm in a
(09:11):
room of people I have sat inrooms and around tables where I
felt the need to perform andportray myself in a way that
would be acceptable to thosepeople.
and not even necessarily in abad way, like a weird peer
pressure kind of way, but justwanting to hide my quirks for
(09:34):
me, the biggest thing aboutbeing real is finding the people
where I don't feel any of thatpressure to perform.
I can be 100%.
Myself, not afraid to show thelittle weird things about me and
not worrying if they're judgingme there are people out there
(09:57):
for you and if you can findthose people, It erases all of
that pressure.
Kristen (10:05):
Well, yeah, and again, not to harp on the Brene Brown
video that I always talk about,but that's exactly what she says
about the difference betweenfitting in and belonging and
fitting in how you're trying tochange yourself to fit in with
whoever you're around.
Whereas belonging is because youactually belong there and you're
just, you're whole authenticself.
(10:25):
Belongs.
And I think that that performingpiece is hard because I've seen
something else on social mediathat says, pay attention to how
you feel after you've beenaround people.
if you find that you areexhausted and mentally tired
because you've had to put on anact or hide who you really are
Those aren't your people.
find the ones that you feelexhilarated with, that you come
(10:48):
home and you're like, that wasthe best time ever.
Like, where did the time go?
And that's really what it is.
I a hundred percent agree withwhat you're saying.
Kelly (10:58):
Yeah.
That reminds me of a thing Ijust sent my friend that was
like a little Instagram thing.
and it basically said somethinglike.
Every time we're together, evenif we're not doing anything and
just chatting when it's over,everything in my world feels
better.
that is so true of thatfriendship for me and with some
(11:19):
other friendships as well.
Like you said, you can eitherhang around people who drain
you.
Or you can hang around peopleand you don't have to be doing
anything special, but when youwalk away, you can feel so
fulfilled from that time thatyou spent together.
Kristen (11:38):
Agree.
So that kind of goes along withthis other question too, where
it says, women struggle withfeeling that they're not quite
enough.
Why do you think women are sohard on themselves?
In what ways does society'semphasis on perfectionism affect
women differently than men?
Alexis, thoughts on this one?
Alexis (12:00):
I think, we can just talk about the beauty standards
when it comes to women womenhave been on magazines or TV as
models, and there's this.
Idea that you have to look acertain way, the beauty industry
purposely targets women to belike this.
And so I think there's some ofthat.
But I don't think men, there'smaybe a little bit more now than
(12:22):
there used to be, but I justdon't think there's the same
type of that constant betweenads and grocery store magazines
and even just sometimes on TVshows Women have to look a
certain way.
So I think there's that plus, Ithink as a society, women
(12:43):
typically, and this is changinga little bit but typically, you
know, women are.
Working.
Plus they also are responsiblefor a lot of what is done at
home and taking care of thekids.
And there's just so muchpressure to get it all done.
working and taking care of kids,there's just not time for
everything.
not saying that, fathers don'tdo that, but typically.
(13:08):
There is more put on women athome with the kids, plus they're
working.
And I just think it's kind ofunrealistic in this idea that,
well, you can have it all, youcan have a career and Kids and
do it all you might be able todo it all for a while, but you
are gonna get burned out andsometimes you have to let it go.
there's more pressure on women,whereas men can just go to work,
(13:30):
even if they have a family.
mom typically takes care ofthem.
At least that's how I've seen itamong my friends and even a
little bit amongst myself myhusband, he does well.
If he has to go to work, I'mgonna take care of the kids and
stuff at home.
that's how I see it, there'sjust not that societal pressure
for men like that.
(13:50):
it gives this, like you'rekeeping up with the Joneses.
Well, she does this so, youknow, do I, I, if she can do all
that, I can do it all.
the reality is.
She's probably not doing it all,and she's a different person.
Her strengths are different thanyours, I think it breeds this
idea of perfection that isn'trealistic and isn't there?
Kristen (14:14):
Agree.
And I would go back to talkingabout even beauty standards and
take it a step further aboutlike body stuff.
Because you know, we've seen iteven more recently where dad
bods are praised, right?
Like, oh, that dad bod, that'sso attractive.
And it's like my husband has adad bod and it is attractive and
I very much enjoy it, but at thesame time it's like.
(14:37):
I kind of have a dad bod andlike,'cause I've got a belly and
like that's not praised, right?
Because women are supposed tostill be, you know, tiny and,
you know, prim and proper Likewomen, make sure you're working
out.
Women.
Make sure you're losing weight.
Women don't eat too much likewomen.
Make sure you keep your curve,you know, have curves, but don't
(14:57):
have too many curves.
Like have children, but don'tlet your body look like you had
children.
there's so much put upon women.
When it comes to beauty and bodystandards, which I don't think
men have it as much now, I stillthink that there are men who
have similar insecurities, youknow, oh, maybe their muscles
aren't enough.
Maybe they do have, a little bitof fat places they don't want my
(15:19):
husband, using him just becausehe's the man I'm closest to,
when he shaves his beard, hisface is.
Not as attractive as when he hashis beard.
We have had these conversationsmultiple times and he's like,
you think I have a fat, uglyface when I don't have a beard?
I'm like, I've never said.
He goes, you have, you've said,my face looks fat when you don't
have a beard.
I'm like, well, it does.
He's like, yeah, because youthink I have a fat, ugly face.
(15:39):
I'm like, you don't have a fat,ugly face.
It just looks better with abeard.
I also grow my own facial hairbecause I'm in my forties now.
I do not look as good with mybeard.
so I keep plucking it.
It feels like every day beautystandards.
But again, the point is
Alexis (15:58):
can I relate to all?
Kristen (16:01):
It's true, standards are a little bit different for
men and women.
I do think men have someinsecurities though, I don't
wanna say that all men are ableto, have dad bods and they're
all okay with it.
I do know that they stillstruggle with it also, I just
don't know that it's at thelevel that women are because
it's thrown in our face so muchmore We often compare ourselves
(16:21):
to our friends or random people.
I do think that's hard.
the part of the question sayinglike, why in case, I haven't
said it enough, it's socialmedia.
If we didn't see.
All the other people livingtheir quote unquote best lives,
we wouldn't feel so crappy aboutourselves.
to your point, women areexpected to have a job take care
(16:42):
of the kids and do all theactivities, it's because we see
this girlfriend over here.
Posting all the activities she'sdoing with her kids and her
full-time job and her home issuper clean.
Like we're seeing this becausepeople are putting that out
there, real or not.
Our brain interprets it as ifshe can do it, then I can do it
even if she's not doing it.
(17:04):
And that is something ourparents are grandparents
generations before.
Didn't have, they may have knownwhat their neighbor was doing.
Thus the keeping up with theJoneses phrase, but they didn't
know what Patricia across townwas necessarily doing, and they
didn't know what Beverly inWichita, Kansas was doing
because they didn't care.
(17:25):
That wasn't on their radar.
They were focusing more on them.
If we get back to that and justfocus on ourselves and who we
are and what's going on in ourfamily and not worrying about
what everybody else is doing,whether it's real or not real,
'cause it's probably not, Ithink it would be a whole lot
better.
And I think that's kind of whatthe book was getting at the end.
Agreed.
(17:45):
I get so passionate about this,you guys.
Perfect is boring.
Emphasizes the importance ofchoosing a messy, meaningful,
pleasurable life over strivingfor a just so curated one.
How can we incorporate themindset into our daily lives and
encourage others to do the same?
(18:06):
Does anybody wanna weigh in onthis one first?
Kelly (18:10):
So again, not to.
Harp on social media again, overand
Alexis (18:16):
over again.
But here we,
Kelly (18:17):
I was thinking the same thing.
do I do it?
Do I do it?
Freaking Zuckerberg's gonnathink we're
Kristen (18:23):
trying to tear him down, like bring down meta,
right?
Kelly (18:29):
So, that's literally the first thing that comes to mind
with.
Everything in that question.
because, like you were justsaying, you can look at these
people on social media and itlooks like they have it all
together.
Like, oh, she has a full-timejob and she just took her kids
to this really cool park on aFriday afternoon.
how'd she have time to do that?
(18:50):
Oh, and look, she just posted apicture of her kitchen and it
looks like it's never beencooked in because everything
looks so clean and perfect Butthat's probably not real.
she's either got someone comingin and cleaning for her, or she
took a picture right after shecleaned it and 95% of the time
it looks nothing like thatphoto.
Kristen (19:12):
she really doesn't cook in her kitchen because she's
buying McDonald's and feedingher kids, even though she tells
you that they only eat kale.
There's also
Kelly (19:23):
that possibility.
Yeah, I would just say as far ashow we can incorporate.
A mindset to stop striving forthose impossibilities, just stop
looking at all of that.
I know easier said than done,but seriously, take steps to
mute some of that noise in yourmind It's so much better when
(19:49):
we're not constantly comparingour every day to what we're
seeing as we doom scroll.
Alexis (19:57):
Yes.
I think to piggyback on that, Ihave found that there are a few
counts that I actually reallyenjoy following on social media
because they don't sugarcoat.
Real life.
specifically there's one, she'sa homesteader and she is a big
fan of showing the everyday andlike this is a working kitchen.
(20:19):
It's a mess.
And that's just how it is.
And we didn't get this donetoday, but I'll get it done,
maybe next week.
I really admire her.
She's the one that got methinking your true friends don't
care what your house looks likeand they come over and offer to
help you, If you're canning,work on canning together I
really have found accounts likethat are my favorite ones to
(20:40):
follow rather than trying tofollow influencers that are just
unrealistic The other one I lovefollowing is a lady that just
does like.
Everyday dinners an apartment,you know, just a typical family
and apartment in Philadelphiawith two kids and how they, work
So I think there are accountsout there, but also if you are
(21:04):
to encourage just to show what'sreal.
Like if you have a nanny, say,you know, my, I had a nanny,
rather than just making it outlike, you're taking care of your
kids.
All day when Billy might not be,and that's okay.
It's okay if you have a nanny.
It's okay if you have somebodythat cleans your house.
It's okay if your kitchen is amess.
Just being more authentic onlineand really showing who it is, or
(21:24):
just don't show us all of yourlife online either, because
really we don't need to see thateither.
Kelly (21:30):
I agree though.
I do think that there are peopleout there on these platforms
that we love to hate.
who can be really enjoyable tofollow because they aren't
trying to portray a perfectlife.
I have found the same thing, Ilove following the people who.
Just not, not that they're likeairing their dirty laundry on
(21:53):
social media, but they're justlike showing you that like life
is not perfect and that's okay.
Kristen (21:59):
Yeah, someone you wanna follow too.
She's more on YouTube too, israw beauty.
Christie, I love her and Istarted following her years ago
when she was just doing makeuptutorials, but now she lives in
the Pacific Northwest.
She's got her garden, she's gother perfect look.
Not, I don't say perfect in abad way.
her stuff is adorable, but she'salso totally real.
this is me, this is my family.
(22:21):
I love watching her because sheis so real.
instead of complaining aboutwhat other people are showing,
we can put out more in the worldtoo.
Like we wanna see more realstuff so we can put out more of
our real stuff.
here's my messy house.
I don't have a messy house,because I have a husband who's
OCD, who cleans it likeincessantly, but my kitchen
that's only half remodeled, likewe've got the back splash done
(22:42):
on one side and the cabinet'supdated.
But then the other side, there'sjust no backsplash because the
olds come off, but the newhasn't gone up.
it's a whole thing.
but like.
That's, we live with that.
Like nobody cares.
Kitchen's fine.
but we could get better about,you know, posting unfiltered
pictures, showing what life isreally like.
Or Kelly, to your other point,just don't post anything.
(23:03):
nobody needs to know everysecond of your life.
And I think I mentioned it inone of the earlier episodes
where.
I will often think before I postsomething, like, why am I
sharing this?
am I doing it to get clicks andlikes?
is it because it's something Ireally want to share that I
think people will appreciate orrespond to I mean, clicks and
likes are nice, but again, whyare we doing it?
(23:25):
Who's it really for?
Alexis (23:27):
And I think that's a good question to ask in general.
at least for me, you know, wecame on to social media and look
back at anything you firstoriginally posted you would
never do that now.
sometimes people still forgetthat we should filter and just
like.
Really, are you just kind of,throwing up on the internet and
(23:48):
does it need to be said orshared, or can you just maybe go
talk to somebody in real life
Kristen (23:54):
share
Alexis (23:54):
it, you know?
Kristen (23:55):
Right.
I saw, I can't remember if itwas a real, or if I just saw it
on Facebook it was a party whereyou invite your friends over and
you read old Facebook statusesfrom like 2007, 2008.
And you guess who at the partyis the one that posted it?
And I was like.
That sounds like the most funever because back in the day
(24:17):
when Facebook was first around,it was literally a status update
and it would be like, Kristenis, or whatever, and you would
have to start it with a verb,like what you're doing, you
know, watching this eating TacoBell and Twitter was kind of
like that too when it firststarted.
Like you literally were sayingwhat you were doing.
And I remember being so angryand people wouldn't use a verb
(24:37):
there.
I'm like, it's supposed to be,is something you can't just post
anything there.
'cause I am very big onsemantics and words matter.
But I think that kind of partywould be so fun and funny.
Kelly (24:51):
that would be hilarious.
Kristen (24:53):
I'll make it happen sometime.
All right, moving on.
What are lies that keep you fromdreaming big?
How do you face life'schallenges without fear of
failure?
And Alexis, I still love yourstory from last week's episode
about wanting to be a flowerfarmer, which again, I'm
manifesting for you because youare going to do it.
(25:16):
but what are some of the lies?
Like why do you have such a hardtime dreaming big on that one?
Or how do you face challengeswithout fear of failure?
Alexis (25:26):
Okay, well first of all, one thing I've noticed in the
past year and a half, kind ofsince COVID, is everybody wants
to be a flower farmer.
And so I worry that it getsoversaturated.
It kind of did that withphotography.
I used to have my ownphotography business, and you
(25:47):
have to be careful if it getsoversaturated, it's just not
gonna be worth it.
And flower farming is hard.
farming in general is hardbecause you're at the mercy of
the weather and you know, youhave some years where they could
literally break you and then youhave some years, which are
fantastic.
So there's that aspect of it.
And then the reality is in orderto have a.
(26:13):
I need land and specificallywhere we live, you know, land is
just outrageous.
It's extremely expensive.
in Idaho, most people don'trealize this, but 75% is,
federal land.
So there's not much land thatpeople actually can own because
(26:35):
most of it's, Federal.
And it's desert in the south, soyou have to have water rights.
And it's just kind of one ofthose things that doesn't seem
attainable right now because ofwhere we are in our life with
raising five kids and that costsand stuff.
So, maybe if we moved somewhere,Farming.
(26:56):
money is really a hugehindrance.
I don't know that it'll ever bewhere I would want to be, where
I would dream of a flower farm.
Kristen (27:06):
I was waiting to see if you were gonna say anything
else.
you are the only person I knowwho wants to be a flower farmer,
so I don't think it'soversaturated, at least not
where I'm at.
you're the flower farmer that Iknow.
I would buy your flowers becauseI enjoy shopping small business,
and I would shop your smallbusiness of flower farming, and
then you'd get bigger becausemore people would buy from you
(27:27):
as a small business, and it'd bea big business and a real flower
farmer.
Well, let's continue out
Kelly (27:35):
for
Kristen (27:35):
you.
What
Kelly (27:37):
I said, Kristen, has it all planned out for you?
I do,
Kristen (27:40):
and I'm manifesting it.
Alexis is going to be a flowerfarmer.
It's gonna happen.
Maybe not today.
Alexis (27:47):
kids are out of the house.
Yeah, maybe when they're out ofthe house.
And it can be something that,you know, at that point Is a lot
of it costs a lot.
when they're out of the house,that can be something I spend my
time doing we'll see.
It's still in the back of mymind and I still talk about it
frequently
Kristen (28:02):
Well, and I think maybe you just need to shift your
perspective a little bit.
It's not about waiting for themto get out of the house because
while they are at the house,they are free labor.
You have your flower farm handsright on hand.
I don't know what farmingentails if you need farm hands
(28:24):
or not, but,
Alexis (28:25):
that is when you get large scale, that is something
to consider.
Kristen (28:29):
Problem solver.
Kelly, do you have any thoughtsabout any of the lies that are
keeping you from dreaming big orhow you face challenges without
fear of failure?
Kelly (28:40):
one thing that came to mind is that I think sometimes
we can have a dream and thedream itself, like I think a lot
of dreams they're, we knowthey're gonna take hard work and
it's not gonna be an easy pathto achieve but sometimes I think
the dream itself.
(29:02):
Is actually just terrifying.
we're kind of walking throughsomething like that right now.
one of the lies I felt walkinginto that was that we have to do
this in our own strength and onour own.
First of all, that's not true atall for us.
(29:23):
we're Christians and so we knowwalking into this that we have
the Lord strength and that he'scalled us to do this.
and so we can find comfortthere, but also we have.
Gained a village around us heresince we moved to the state a
(29:44):
couple of years ago.
And we have family and friendssometimes when you have a dream
that you're walking towards, itcan feel really scary to think
that you're on your own doingit.
But it doesn't have to be thatway.
We're being reminded of that nowthat it's okay to lean on your
(30:08):
village when things do get hard.
Kristen (30:12):
I think that we are always exactly where we are
supposed to be.
Like everything happens for areason there was an exercise I
learned years ago and it wasabout, saying, what if Over and
over again.
Like come up with your, youknow, well if you did this, you
know, well what if you did that?
And you kind of come up withlike things that could happen,
like, well, what if thishappened?
And it's to get your brain torealize what worst case scenario
(30:34):
is, probably actually isn't thatbad.
And I think being able to facefears like that, like what's the
worst that's gonna happen if Ido this thing?
Like, I'm not gonna die.
So.
And maybe that's not a greatexample, but I think when it
comes to facing the fears, Fearof failure shouldn't be that big
of a fear.
I feel weird even saying thatbecause I know it is something I
(30:56):
struggle with.
But when I was going through mymaster's program we talked about
failure as a positive, Iremember writing it down fail
early and fail often because youlearn more from failing than
from succeeding I don't know ifyou remember back to when you
were in school, like if therewas a pretest or a practice test
or a worksheet and you gotsomething wrong.
You would remember that answermore than the ones you got,
(31:18):
right?
Because you had to work harderto learn it And I think it's
kind of that same thing if youmake a mistake, learn from it.
Don't do it again.
Change it we should be trying tofail.
Even people who are inventorsand thinkers going outside of
the box They're not gonna knowsomething works unless they know
what doesn't work.
So you've gotta have thosefailures, you've gotta learn
(31:39):
from them, and it shouldn't be afear of failing.
It should be something you lookforward to.
if you can change yourperspective to that, fail early,
fail often, learn from it andmove on, then it's something you
wanna do.
Hey, the sooner I can fail andget this over with, the sooner I
can get to the success partFlower farmer brilliant,
amazing, whatever it is starpodcaster, whatever the dream
(32:02):
is, make the mistakes, learnfrom it and move on.
I know it's easier said thandone, but I think that's how we
have to get to that mindset toget over the fear of rejection
or fear of failure.
Yeah.
That's a really good point.
Thank you.
I thought so too.
So Jess offers hard one, oftenhilarious words of advice in
(32:26):
this book.
Which ones did you take to heartand why?
Kelly (32:31):
So, one of the biggest takeaways for me.
Were the parts where she talkedabout staying in your lane.
when we started reading thisbook, that was something I had
been struggling with a couple ofmonths leading into us starting
this book and doing the episodesfor the podcast, I was
struggling with comparing myseason to others around me and
(32:57):
feeling like I was failing myson in different ways and
feeling like this is just toomuch.
This is hard.
nobody else's journey looks.
Similar to ours, at least thepeople around us.
that was something I'd beenstruggling with a lot.
(33:17):
I loved when she had a wholechapter, that focused on staying
in your lane and knowing thatlike the season that I am in,
it's okay if it doesn't looklike everyone else's season
right now.
In the grand scheme of things,I'm probably not the only one.
There's probably actually a lotof people out there walking
(33:40):
through very similar seasonsjust like me, even if they're
not in my, close circles.
but regardless, I can findsatisfaction in my season if I
just focus on.
My day to day stop lookingaround me at what everyone else
is doing or not doing And sheactually had a highlight from
(34:05):
The epilogue, because she wentback to that whole stay in your
lane concept.
I highlighted this.
It said it's crazy, the impact aperson can have when they stay
in their lane, when they do lifein their own way and when they
open their home, their heartsand their table for others to
sit at.
I loved that so much.
Kristen (34:26):
Yeah, that is a powerful statement.
I will say the book writ Large,was phenomenal.
It's the kind of book I willprobably reread.
I highlighted so much in myKindle Kelly, I can't remember
if we said this on the podcastor not, but I know you were
doing the audio book and thenyou went and got the Kindle
(34:48):
version so you could makehighlights.
I read the Kindle version.
It has highlights, but I waslike, I think I wanna buy the
actual book and go and put thehighlights through it so I can
flip through it too.
So I thought it was funny thatwe both loved it so much that
we, went through multiple.
I didn't buy the book yet, butI've thought about doing it.
So
Kelly (35:07):
I also highly recommend audio to anyone who doesn't
wanna sit and read it right nowbecause listening to just read
the story.
Knowing that it's all about herand her family and things.
it was so funny.
Like just the way that she readit was so good.
Kristen (35:24):
I will say, the part that stuck with me from the
book, the one that I keep goingback to, even though we're done
reading it, is the one about myjob is to keep.
People happy.
And I feel like after I gotthrough that I kind of worked
through some of my own issues ofbeing authentically me and not
caring as much what other peoplethink.
I feel like I have a whole newlife, like I don't have to keep
(35:47):
everybody happy.
And it's okay if I'm the villainin somebody else's story.
And it's okay if I'm not a maincharacter in somebody's story.
'cause even side characters areimportant.
there is so much.
I took from this about justreally refocusing on how I see
myself, I really do feel it'sbuilt confidence and that I have
let go of some of the bad thingsI was holding onto, if that
(36:11):
makes sense.
Yeah.
So those are the main questionsfrom the publisher we were going
to cover.
I did have maybe one or twoother questions for you, that I
didn't tell you about ahead oftime, because I didn't want you
to.
Think too hard on the answers.
when we had the first episode wehadn't even really read the book
(36:34):
or maybe we just kind of gotteninto a little bit, we kind of
talked about expectations and asI recall, both of you were like,
oh, I don't know about this.
I don't really read books likethis.
I'm not really a self-help book.
Person.
Like, I don't know what they'regonna tell me, but, okay.
Kristen wants us to read thebook.
We'll read the book.
So I would like to We did notsound like that.
(36:55):
Okay.
You didn't sound like that.
We did not sound like that.
I added that for dramatic flareand you definitely didn't say
the part of, we'll read it'causeKristen wants to read it.
but you did anyway.
so now that we've gone throughit and discussed it for the
entire month of May.
I wanna know what you guys thinknow, if the book met or exceeded
your expectations, or if itchanged your opinion at all.
Alexis (37:19):
Yes, it was an excellent book.
I really enjoyed it.
I did not give it five stars Ithink I gave it 4.5.
I don't remember when I ratedit, Either way.
It was a really good book and itprobably will make top 10 for
the year of books I've read, so.
Yay.
That's awesome.
I really enjoyed it.
Oh, that's high praise from youtoo.
Yeah, for sure.
(37:41):
I think it'll make top 10 lastweek we had, our homeschool prom
and I photographed it.
group prom like events is not mytypical thing that I am good at
photographing.
I did it because I just did itfor a memory for the kids to
have.
And there's another photo momthat's there, and its very
(38:01):
intimidating.
She's really good at what shedoes.
She does some events and she'sjust really good.
She's better than I am and Ihave no problem saying that, but
I always feel very intimidatedwhen I'm with her.
And instead, this time I pulledher in and had her help me.
She helped me with it to keepthings organized typically she's
(38:23):
just intimidating to me.
I wouldn't have talked to herand spent time visiting her.
And I did.
And then I also got the name ofthe guy that was the DJ who
taught the kids some ballroomdancing and stuff.
'cause they give dance classesfor my husband and I to do,
like, some ballroom or justdancing in general.
(38:45):
Because remember I don't dance.
Mm-hmm.
So I feel like it was a lot morefun and I didn't feel so like.
Nerve, like come home from thatand just like exhausted.
'cause I felt like I couldn't bewho I was because I was who I
am.
And I just said, look, thisisn't my house.
Can you help me?
then I was able to visit withthe other moms and didn't try to
(39:06):
worry about what I was gonna sayor am I gonna come across as
like, Just you have insecuritiesabout what you say, like people,
and you're like, oh, did Ireally say that?
But I didn't do that.
this is who I am and this is howI'm gonna be.
So I think it was good as far asthat.
Kristen (39:23):
I love that.
Love that so much, Kelly.
Kelly (39:30):
Yeah, so I would say it exceeded my expectations.
I really am not into self-helpbooks.
if I'm gonna read, I'm like apsych thriller junkie.
this was a total change of pacefor my usual reading, Honestly,
it was so good.
I did not expect to laugh somuch but I laughed out loud
(39:51):
multiple times.
that made it really enjoyable.
And there were so many goodlittle tidbits, which is why I
went back and.
Bought the Kindle versionbecause I wanna skim back
through the chapters andhighlight some things so that I
can, have them saved to my goodreads and look at them again
(40:11):
later.
A moment of honesty andvulnerability.
When we first started doing theepisodes, the first one or two,
I remember when we got off therecording having all these
thoughts like, oh my gosh, Irambled way too much.
Like, what did I even say onthere?
(40:34):
They probably wished that Iwould've talked less.
You know, just all the thingslike downing myself or whatever
I may have said.
but as we got further in thebook, I did notice that the last
couple of recordings that wedid, I.
Wasn't struggling so much withthose thoughts.
I was just like, well, I saidwhat I said and nobody stopped
(40:57):
me, so it must have been fine.
Kristen (40:59):
I love that.
And yes, I can definitely tell.
I think it became morecomfortable for all of us as we
went on.
And I do think part of it isbecause, we became more
comfortable with each other.
And also I do think it's some ofthe material from the book too,
really building upon being okaywith being vulnerable and
(41:21):
sharing and being authentic.
Like I know there's been somenights because, we record later
in the evening.
It's usually a day.
I've worked all day.
I'm gonna come home, havedinner, and then we have to
record and I'm just exhaustedfrom the day.
It's usually later in the week.
I'm tired, I don't wanna do it.
And then every time after we do,I'm like, that was phenomenal.
(41:41):
This is so great.
And then I'm awake for like twomore hours.
I'm uploading it already to mysoftware.
I think after one of the firstones, Kelly, you and I were
texting until it was like after11 my time, which is like after
midnight your time.
Yeah.
I'm doing the same thing withAlexis when I made one of the
graphics for last week's thing.
I like message her on Instagramand I'm like, I don't wanna text
(42:02):
you in case you're asleep, butthis seems more private.
are you still awake?
Because I was so excited aboutthe clip that I wanted her to
see it right then.
talking about being with thepeople that you belong with and
not being tired after it.
That's how I feel with you guys.
Like, you give me life.
And I'm like, yes, this isawesome.
This is so great.
You can do this forever.
Kelly (42:23):
same thing happened last week.
whenever we recorded, I was.
So tired that day, and I eventold my husband, I really don't
feel like doing this.
even when we first got on, Ifelt like I was kind of a
zombie, zoning out.
But then when we were done, Iwas wide awake It took me hours
to fall asleep after that.
Alexis (42:42):
Mm-hmm.
Kelly (42:43):
It happens.
Alexis (42:44):
Well, there was one night too.
I was the one that was tiredtonight.
I told everybody, I'm like, oh,I have book club and I'm tired
and I don't wanna do anything.
Kristen (42:53):
Well, and there was a few weeks ago too, Alexis texted
me away home from work.
She's like, I just don't thinkI'm gonna be at book club
tonight.
And I'm like.
Okay.
Like, that's fine.
No worries.
Like you do you And then like,what was it like 10 minutes
before it supposed to start?
She texted me, she's like,actually, can I still come?
And I'm like, no, Alexis, like,we replaced you, we uninvited
you.
Like of course.
So I love, so it's been so good.
(43:16):
It has been.
So I wanna close with Three morethings.
I'm gonna make them quickthough, since you guys loved her
book as I knew you would.
I want to give a quick plug forher other ones.
The other ones she wrote withAmy Weatherly.
So they're the co-founders andones that keep up with the
sister.
I am with you Facebook page.
the first one was I'll be there,but I'm wearing sweatpants.
(43:39):
And then the other one is herefor it, the good, the bad, and
the queso.
I have read both of them.
I at least own here for it.
I might have the other one too.
I can't remember if I just didthat as a library book or a real
book.
Highly recommend both of them.
It's the same kind of feel.
You're gonna get honesty, humorstories.
You're gonna feel better aboutyourself and your friendships
(44:00):
after you read them.
So recommend those.
What I wanted to talk about.
One last thing about this book,the Perfect is Boring and tastes
like Kale.
You may recall from one of ourfirst episodes, we had quite the
debate over kale of who likedit, who didn't.
Alexis likes it, Kelly and Idon't, and other foods that we
(44:21):
like or whatever.
And it wasn't until a week or soago I'm like, oh my gosh, I've
gotta share this with the girls,but I wanna wait till the
finale.
I finally figured out why sheused that phrase.
this is my interpretation Noteverybody likes kale.
Not everybody likes you, andthat's okay.
(44:42):
Different people like differentthings because we're all
different people and that'sokay.
And I think that's kind of thewhole gist of the book.
People aren't going to like youjust like they don't like kale.
It doesn't mean they aren't goodpeople.
It doesn't mean there's anythingwrong with you.
It's just what it is.
So I didn't know if this wassome Huge thing.
(45:02):
Or if you guys had any thoughtson that too.
Like,'cause she couldn't haveused kale as just a random word
there.
Like it had to have a meaning,right?
Is this the meaning?
Kelly (45:12):
Maybe it
Kristen (45:13):
makes
Kelly (45:13):
sense.
It's the one I'm sticking to.
And I mean kale isn't a badthing.
It's good for you, right?
But it might not be everybody'sfavorite thing, just like you.
I'm not saying like you'cause Ilove you.
No, for real.
you may not be for everyone, butit doesn't mean you're a bad
person or that you're not a funperson to be around.
(45:36):
You just may not be everyone's
Kristen (45:38):
favorite.
Right.
I could be somebody's kale, butI could also be somebody's
buffalo chicken.
Kelly (45:43):
Exactly.
You're my buffalo chicken.
Kristen (45:46):
Well, you guys are my kill.
How about that?
Oh yes.
Perfect.
And you're on my pizzas.
So we have come full circle.
Oh, we are unhinged.
Well, the
Alexis (45:58):
last thing I went, let's be real.
I'd rather just have a cookie.
Kristen (46:01):
Mm,
Alexis (46:02):
That's just better.
Kristen (46:04):
So with all that being said, I feel like a virtual book
club was very successful.
So what I wanna ask you, both myco-hosts and listeners, should
we do another virtual book club?
Kelly (46:20):
I think so.
Kristen (46:21):
Okay.
So my kids and my husband, Itold my husband, we were
recording the last one and he'slike, what's your next book
gonna be?
I'm like, what?
And he's like, aren't you guysdoing another book?
And I was like, I dunno.
I mean, yeah, probably sometime.
so we will, stay tuned.
I'm sure we can squeeze anothervirtual book club sometime in
season two, which will be comingout sometime in August.
(46:43):
So, We'll see where it goes.
But as always, Kelly Alexis,thank you so much for being with
me on this journey.
I think it was phenomenal.
I think we are better peoplefrom it.
I hope the people listening feellike they've learned something
too, whether they read with usor just, listened to us ramble
on about all the things we werelearning, They were getting
(47:06):
things from it too.
so as we close, any finalthoughts from either of you on
the book or anything?
Life in general.
Alexis (47:13):
I don't really have anything other than to say thank
you for doing this and lettingme help co.
It was fun.
Kristen (47:19):
Awesome.
Kelly (47:20):
Yeah, I was gonna say thanks for the opportunity.
I had a lot of fun and I thinkit'll be fun if we do another
one sometime.
Kristen (47:30):
We totally will.
And I think that even in the offseason, our AI friends are still
gonna live their best lives.
So also stay tuned to socialmedia to see what else they do.
'cause I'm really excited aboutit.
Me too.
All right guys.
Well thank you everyone.
(47:50):
Thanks for listening and, thanksAlexis and Kelly.
All right, talk to you later.
Bye.
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