November 5, 2025 • 18 mins
In this heartfelt episode of Talkin’ Crazy, Demetrius Thigpen (Meech Speaks) opens up about fatherhood, self-doubt, and the importance of protecting your peace.
After hitting 1 million views and celebrating Father’s Day, Meech reflects on his journey from recording in a storage closet to inspiring thousands — and what it truly means to own your space.
He dives into:
The fear of becoming your father — and breaking that cycle
What fatherhood has taught him about patience, pride, and purpose
Why being self-aware can feel like both a gift and a curse
How to stop shrinking yourself and start owning the room
The power behind the quote: “Be gentle to your mental.”
This episode is for every man learning to lead, every parent trying to show up, and anyone who’s been too hard on themselves.
Let our sponsor BetterHelp connect you to a therapist who can support you - all from the comfort of your own home.
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🎙️ Host: Demetrius “Meech Speaks” Thigpen
💬 Follow: @meech.speaks
🧠 Mental Health x Motivation x Real Talk
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:19):
What's going on, everybody? It's that ordinary podcast with
the extraordinary thoughts that tells you to stop being great
and be extraordinary. I'm Demetrius Dick and also
known as Meets Beats. And welcome back to another
episode of the Talking Crazy podcast.
Now, before we get started with this podcast, do me a favor,
head on over to your favorite streaming platform, whether
that's Apple podcast or Spotify podcast, and leave this podcast
an honest review because this podcast deserves to grow just as
(00:42):
much as we do. Now, First things first, happy
Father's Day, you know what I mean?
And happy Father's Day to the dads that are in their
children's lives. You know what I'm talking about
the act of fathers and the fathers that stepped up.
I cannot stress that I say that man, because being a father is
probably one of the biggest achievements of my life.
Now, for those who know man likeyou know that my children are a
(01:04):
very active peace within my life.
You know what I mean? Just I try to integrate my
children with all aspects of what I do, especially because
I'm in the military. And one of my biggest
insecurities as a father is thatI, I end up exactly like my
father. You know, I end up just like my
father because my father wasn't in my life.
(01:26):
And being in the military, you know, I've been pulled away from
monumental advance. I've miss bursts.
I've I've miss, you know, recitals, I've missed
graduations. I've missed so many pieces.
So when I'm with my kids, man, like I really try to take in
that moment and having a father that wasn't as active, it always
(01:48):
looms over my head. So I try to integrate my
children in most aspects of my life.
Whenever my children can be there, I always try to put them
there. To be honest with you, y'all
will see more of my children. If it wasn't for these fucking
scammers taking my pictures and stuff like that, like I would
actually see a lot more picturesof my children.
But one thing that I've learned about fatherhood is that
fatherhood will show you pieces of yourself inside of your
(02:11):
children. You know what I mean?
Like through your children's eyes, you will see pieces of
yourself. For my oldest, she shows me a
reflection of me before, before my environment changed me.
You know what I mean? Like she shows me the
imagination, she shows me the creativity, she shows me the
honesty. She shows me just the overall.
(02:31):
She shows me the overall loving piece of me.
And I always loved that my son, Oh my God, man.
Like he shows me this, this unwavering confidence.
You know what I mean? Like I've never seen a child
walk into a room and completely own the space that he's in.
He showed me this aspect of never giving up.
(02:54):
And for those who don't know me and my son, man, we, we, we box
together. You know what I mean?
Like I've been teaching him boxing and we have good days and
we have bad days. We have days that end in smiles
and sometimes we have days that end in tears.
But despite how the day ends, healways shows back up.
And to see that in a child, man,you know, we, we pride ourselves
(03:17):
on our children's accomplishments.
But a lot of times, man, just take a step back and really look
at your child because the thing that you could be most proud of
is the thing that he does all the time.
And for me, my son, he shows up and I nurture that and I, I
appreciate that. And I'm, I'm so proud of that.
And lastly, you know, my, my youngest man, like, Oh my God,
(03:40):
bro, I've never seen a wildfire.What she has actually showed me
as a level of patience, you know, a patience that I never
thought that I would have. And she's also showed me that
sometimes you ain't got to matchthe energy, all right?
You do not have to match the energy.
Just because she's got big energy, that don't mean that I
need to have big energy. I need to have energy that can
(04:01):
bring her back down. And as she showed me this caring
side as well. So I'm forever grateful for
having the opportunity to be a father, You know what I mean?
Like really having that opportunity to be a father.
Now Speaking of opportunities, man thing is speaking about
milestones man speaking about major things within my life.
(04:25):
I don't know who need there it is.
But did y'all see that my one ofmy videos hit 1,000,000 views
like like for real? Like did did anybody see that
one of my videos hit 1,000,000 views?
Like, come on, man. I like to see that M up under
one of my videos, man. Like look, look, look, I know
this is the part where people usually say that they ain't
(04:46):
trying to brag or boast, but I'mgoing to sit here and just be
completely honest with you. I'm bragging and I'm boasting
because of the simple fact of I remember how far I've come.
You know what I mean? Every time that I've hit a major
milestone with in my life, I always sit back and I say to
myself, man, like you've come sofucking far, Demetrius.
And for those who just tuning innow, like you just found me on
(05:08):
your feed or you somebody just recommended you to me, man.
Like I remember when I was in the closet, and I'm talking
about not like just any old closet.
It was, it was the storage spacearound me was, was toilet paper
and paper towel and other thingsthat you get from Walmart that
you buy in bulk. It was a storage closet that I
had cleared out like a little corner.
(05:29):
You know what I mean? I had cleared out a little
corner just so I can record it recording equipment.
I had a headset from a from my Xbox with a game in mic.
You know what I mean? I had an Android phone, I had an
Android app and I was just kicking that heat in a corner
uploading it. I wasn't editing anything out.
(05:49):
So to see that my content, not only it resonated, not only did
it make its rounds, but to be viewed by a million people, man,
like I'm, I will always be forever grateful because no
matter what the situation was, I, I, I show back up, you know
what I mean? On the days where I felt like I
(06:11):
wanted to give up, man. And I really want to just let me
just kick my testimony real quick because I don't know who
going through it right now, you know what I mean?
Like, I don't know who need to hear this because I know it's
somebody driving to a job right now, man.
And they've, they got that feeling inside of him that they
want to give up, you know what Imean?
Like them bad days, they starting to add up, you feel me?
They feel like they efforts is not being rewarded.
(06:33):
They watching everybody else around them get promoted, get
rewarded, get recognized. Meanwhile they still grinding it
out and sometimes they feel likethey want to give up.
And I just really want to just tell anybody that's filling out
right now, man. Like if you continue to keep
your head down, you continue to keep moving forward, you
continue to keep overcoming it, you continue to keep showing up.
(06:55):
I promise you man, eventually, eventually is ghost show and and
you already know you know how exactly how I always kick it.
It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, it may not be next
week. Hell, it may not be next month
to be honest with you, it may not be next year.
But I promise you if you show up, you feel me like if you
(07:15):
really just show up, it will eventually show man like.
It will eventually come to life man like and that is one thing
that that 1,000,000 views reallytaught me.
Another thing man is sticking tothe fucking plan bro.
Like the fact that I didn't get 1,000,000 views from telling
jokes and I, and no shade to nobody for that does that.
(07:36):
That just isn't my lane. I didn't get 1,000,000 views for
shaking my ass or doing some weird fucking dance or lip
syncing or I got a million viewsfor doing something that was
very passionate to me. I didn't do it to create some
click bait. I didn't do it to get a quick
million views, man. I watched it every single time,
man. Just grow and grow.
(07:57):
And I remember before, before itwas 1,000,000 views.
I remember when I was getting 1000 views and I remember before
the thousand, I was just getting100 views.
Before 100 views, I remember I was just getting 10 views.
So when I tell you that hard work, it starts to pay off.
It really does man. And for anybody that don't
believe in man shit, just head on over to my page.
(08:18):
Look at my older videos, listen to my older episodes, man.
Like you hear the growth, you hear how far I've come, you
feel, you hear how far I've changed.
Or let me phrase that, you hear how much I've changed.
So I cannot say this enough, man.
Thank you so much for the 1,000,000 views.
But with that being said, let's go ahead and get started with
today's episode. I know somebody thinking right
(08:39):
now 7 minutes are straight he and you telling me that we
haven't even started today's episode.
God damn Meech Jesus Christ. I know ma'am, but I had to get
that off my chest. You know what I mean?
Like I really had to get that off my chest because it was
Father's Day. I hit 1,000,000 views and I and
hella freeze over before I get on here and say and not talk
about it. You know what I mean?
(09:00):
So I really wanted to get started with that man.
But in today's episode, man, just like what I did last week,
I really want to just start off with a quote.
And today's quote is something that it's a quote that I've seen
before. It's a quote that is resonated
with me. It's a quote that I have hung up
in my studio. It's be gentle to your mental
(09:21):
and for those who don't understand, man, a lot of times
we are our biggest critics. You know what I mean?
We're the hardest on ourselves. We're the first one to hold us
accountable, but we're the last ones to give ourselves praise.
And on our rough days, we don't take the we don't we never take
our foot off the gas. We constantly are applying
pressure. When we fail, we bout to beat
(09:42):
ourselves down. You know what I mean?
When things don't go our way, webout to tear ourselves apart.
When we mess up, we bout to scrutinize ourselves.
And I don't know you need to hear this, but please man, be
gentle to your mental, you know what I mean?
Be gentle to your mental state, whether that's taking a break
when you need it, whether that'sgiving yourself, what's that
word? Giving yourself grace when you
(10:05):
need it. And for those who don't know
what grace means, man, like that's giving yourself that
permission to honestly be yourself, You know what I mean?
That's giving yourself permission to honestly fuck up.
That's giving yourself permission to be human.
And I don't know who need to hear that Somebody right now
(10:26):
listening, They a top tier performer.
They hold themselves to a standard that nobody else could
ever reach. So when they fall, man, they
fall hard. And I just really want to just
tell you that like, allow yourself to be human.
Give yourself that exact same grace that you give everybody
else. Let me rephrase that.
Give yourself that exact same love that you give everybody
(10:49):
else. You know, you be telling people
how you worked hard, go ahead take the day off.
Why don't you give yourself thatwhen you tell somebody, when you
pat somebody on the back for their accomplishments, why don't
you do that for yourself them self-care days that you preach
about all the time. Demetrius, how about you take
long for yourself? So with that being said, man, I
(11:09):
cannot stress this enough and I want to say thank you, Bandy for
putting this out there, putting this message out there, but be
gentle till your mental. Now today's episode is I
actually heard it last week and it was a line that really
resonated with me. And it resonated with me for the
simple fact that this is actually something I tend to
struggle with a lot of because I'm very self aware, you know,
(11:33):
very self aware. But at the exact same time, man,
like that self-awareness is almost like a gift and a curse.
And I feel like how I show up, people will perceive me in a way
that I don't want them to perceive me as, you know.
So I try my best to try my best to always put my best foot
forward. So somebody told me that you
just sometimes just got to own the fucking space.
(11:55):
And I don't know who need to hear this, but you really got to
just own the fucking space that you're in.
It's somebody right now, man, that's afraid to really own that
space. When they walk into a room, they
do everything in their power to try to shrink and just fit
themselves in like this little corner.
They don't want to be noticed. They don't, they don't want to
stand out. They don't want to cause any,
(12:18):
you know, cause any ruckus. They don't.
They just want to just be small within this space.
And I don't know who needs to hear this, but when you do that,
man, you think you're doing everybody a service, but what
you're actually doing is doing everyone at this service.
You are in a space right now. And whether that's at a new job,
(12:39):
whether that's in a new position, whether that's at a
new unit, whether that's just anywhere, you owe it to the
people that are around you to own the space that you're in.
And when you own that space, right?
And when you own that space right, you're saying to the
world that you belong here. You understand your value, you
understand what you bring to thetable and you understand what
(13:00):
you bring to the team overall. And somebody once told me that
when you walk into a room, everybody is safer because you
were in there. The place is much better because
you were in there. And the situation has gotten a
lot better because you have, youhave now entered that room.
And I really need you to understand that.
Stop shrinking and saying to yourself, Ah man, I, I just
don't want to stand out or I don't want to be perceived as
(13:23):
arrogant. I don't want to be perceived as
too overly confident. Fuck all of that man on it.
You know what I mean? On that energy that you walk
into the room. You know what I mean?
On that space that you walk intoa room, some of y'all are really
qualified. You feel me like really
qualified to be doing the job that you're doing, but you don't
believe in yourself. You know, you don't believe in
(13:44):
yourself and because you don't believe in yourself, you want to
shrink and hide into a corner because you don't feel like you
belong there because you see howeverybody is, or let me phrase
that, you see how everybody is stacked against you and you feel
to yourself. Can I really top that or can I
really amount to that? You feel as if you don't belong
there. And I just really want you to
take that thought and I want youto toss it, bro, because you do.
(14:08):
You really do. And I remember that man, because
in 2021, I first showed up to mylast job, I shrunk.
I shrunk, you know, and I shrunkbecause I felt like I didn't
belong there. I looked at everybody around me
and I saw how great they were. I looked at everybody around me
(14:28):
and I said to myself, like, lookhow great they are, man.
Like these people are so much better than me.
I don't belong in here. And I spoke in a manner of
somebody that was less than them.
I acted in a manner that of somebody that was less than
them. I, I treated myself as somebody
that was less than them. And what did that get me?
(14:50):
It got me absolutely nothing, tobe honest with you.
I took a shovel and I just dug this enormous hole and it's
spend a year trying to climb outof it just to show everybody
that I was their equal. And the only person I had to
blame was myself. Because a lot of times, man,
when you refuse to own the space, you were allowing
everybody else to have it. When you refuse to own the
(15:11):
space, I'm rephrase, when you refuse to acknowledge the space
that you work in and own up to it, you allow people to take
that space for themselves. And what does that mean?
You allow them to generate this perspective of you, allow them
to be able to approach you in however way they want to.
You allow them to be able to treat you however you want to.
And, and unfortunately, man, like that's that nobody wins
(15:34):
with. So I will say this, when you
walk into that room, right as you walk in there on this Monday
morning, I want you to own that fucking space, OK?
I want you to let these people know that you're here, all
right? When you walk in there should
feel, you should feel like you got this aura about yourself
that you know exactly what you should be doing.
You know what I mean? You walking into a room and you
(15:55):
like, I'm here and I want everybody to know that.
And I don't care how everybody feels when they have a
conversation. Look into the conversation.
Sit at the edge of your seat, like as if you're in the
conversation. When people talk to you, I want
you to talk from the bellow of your voice.
I don't want you to have this shakiness in it.
You know what I mean? I want you to have some
confidence about yourself because it's going to pay off in
(16:18):
the long run. And lastly man, like don't judge
yourself based off of everybody else's accomplishments.
Stop trying to stack yourself against people that ain't that.
Been there longer than you that have done something differently
than you did. Just like what I said in the
very beginning of this man, it takes time, it takes effort, and
you got to show the fuck up. But if you gonna show up, you
(16:39):
need to own the space that you're showing up to.
Now, as we come to a close of this episode, I really want to
just surprise everybody and justshare that I have decided to
partner up with Rare Bandy for the I don't know, we'll need to
hear this, but be gentle to yourmental campaign.
As everyone knows that June is Men's Mental Health Awareness
month. And just like what I have
mentioned throughout this entireepisode, throughout this entire
(17:00):
podcast, and what a lot of my content centers around is just
idea of mental health, whether that's for the man, whether
that's for the service member, It's always been something that
resonated deeply with me. So with that being said, it is
with my pleasure that I decided to partner up with my longtime
friend and creative design behind the talking crazy podcast
(17:21):
before that behind the me speaksand and to just share with
everybody the I don't know who need to hear this, but be gentle
with your mental Shirts are now available at rarebaddie.com.
Link is down in the show notes. Link is down in the show notes.
And don't forget to head on overto the Instagram and check out
the link there. And just like that, another
(17:43):
extraordinary thought left this ordinary mind.
I hope you enjoyed this episode half as much as I enjoyed making
it. Don't forget to head on over to
your favorite streaming platform, whether that's Apple
podcast or Spotify podcast, and leave this podcast an honest
review because this podcast deserves to grow just as much as
we do. Also don't forget to head on
over to TikTok or Instagram and follow me at Meech speaks.
(18:03):
That's right, Meech speaks. Meech is spelled M EE Ch.
Stay motivated, stay healthy. I'm out.
What's going on, everybody? It's that ordinary podcast with
the extraordinary thoughts that tells you to stop being great
and be extraordinary. I'm Demetrius Dick and also
known as Meets Beats. And welcome back to another
episode of the Talking Crazy podcast.
Now, before we get started with this podcast, do me a favor,
head on over to your favorite streaming platform, whether
that's Apple podcast or Spotify podcast, and leave this podcast
an honest review because this podcast deserves to grow just as
(00:42):
much as we do. Now, First things first, happy
Father's Day, you know what I mean?
And happy Father's Day to the dads that are in their
children's lives. You know what I'm talking about
the act of fathers and the fathers that stepped up.
I cannot stress that I say that man, because being a father is
probably one of the biggest achievements of my life.
Now, for those who know man likeyou know that my children are a
(01:04):
very active peace within my life.
You know what I mean? Just I try to integrate my
children with all aspects of what I do, especially because
I'm in the military. And one of my biggest
insecurities as a father is thatI, I end up exactly like my
father. You know, I end up just like my
father because my father wasn't in my life.
(01:26):
And being in the military, you know, I've been pulled away from
monumental advance. I've miss bursts.
I've I've miss, you know, recitals, I've missed
graduations. I've missed so many pieces.
So when I'm with my kids, man, like I really try to take in
that moment and having a father that wasn't as active, it always
(01:48):
looms over my head. So I try to integrate my
children in most aspects of my life.
Whenever my children can be there, I always try to put them
there. To be honest with you, y'all
will see more of my children. If it wasn't for these fucking
scammers taking my pictures and stuff like that, like I would
actually see a lot more picturesof my children.
But one thing that I've learned about fatherhood is that
fatherhood will show you pieces of yourself inside of your
(02:11):
children. You know what I mean?
Like through your children's eyes, you will see pieces of
yourself. For my oldest, she shows me a
reflection of me before, before my environment changed me.
You know what I mean? Like she shows me the
imagination, she shows me the creativity, she shows me the
honesty. She shows me just the overall.
(02:31):
She shows me the overall loving piece of me.
And I always loved that my son, Oh my God, man.
Like he shows me this, this unwavering confidence.
You know what I mean? Like I've never seen a child
walk into a room and completely own the space that he's in.
He showed me this aspect of never giving up.
(02:54):
And for those who don't know me and my son, man, we, we, we box
together. You know what I mean?
Like I've been teaching him boxing and we have good days and
we have bad days. We have days that end in smiles
and sometimes we have days that end in tears.
But despite how the day ends, healways shows back up.
And to see that in a child, man,you know, we, we pride ourselves
(03:17):
on our children's accomplishments.
But a lot of times, man, just take a step back and really look
at your child because the thing that you could be most proud of
is the thing that he does all the time.
And for me, my son, he shows up and I nurture that and I, I
appreciate that. And I'm, I'm so proud of that.
And lastly, you know, my, my youngest man, like, Oh my God,
(03:40):
bro, I've never seen a wildfire.What she has actually showed me
as a level of patience, you know, a patience that I never
thought that I would have. And she's also showed me that
sometimes you ain't got to matchthe energy, all right?
You do not have to match the energy.
Just because she's got big energy, that don't mean that I
need to have big energy. I need to have energy that can
(04:01):
bring her back down. And as she showed me this caring
side as well. So I'm forever grateful for
having the opportunity to be a father, You know what I mean?
Like really having that opportunity to be a father.
Now Speaking of opportunities, man thing is speaking about
milestones man speaking about major things within my life.
(04:25):
I don't know who need there it is.
But did y'all see that my one ofmy videos hit 1,000,000 views
like like for real? Like did did anybody see that
one of my videos hit 1,000,000 views?
Like, come on, man. I like to see that M up under
one of my videos, man. Like look, look, look, I know
this is the part where people usually say that they ain't
(04:46):
trying to brag or boast, but I'mgoing to sit here and just be
completely honest with you. I'm bragging and I'm boasting
because of the simple fact of I remember how far I've come.
You know what I mean? Every time that I've hit a major
milestone with in my life, I always sit back and I say to
myself, man, like you've come sofucking far, Demetrius.
And for those who just tuning innow, like you just found me on
(05:08):
your feed or you somebody just recommended you to me, man.
Like I remember when I was in the closet, and I'm talking
about not like just any old closet.
It was, it was the storage spacearound me was, was toilet paper
and paper towel and other thingsthat you get from Walmart that
you buy in bulk. It was a storage closet that I
had cleared out like a little corner.
(05:29):
You know what I mean? I had cleared out a little
corner just so I can record it recording equipment.
I had a headset from a from my Xbox with a game in mic.
You know what I mean? I had an Android phone, I had an
Android app and I was just kicking that heat in a corner
uploading it. I wasn't editing anything out.
(05:49):
So to see that my content, not only it resonated, not only did
it make its rounds, but to be viewed by a million people, man,
like I'm, I will always be forever grateful because no
matter what the situation was, I, I, I show back up, you know
what I mean? On the days where I felt like I
(06:11):
wanted to give up, man. And I really want to just let me
just kick my testimony real quick because I don't know who
going through it right now, you know what I mean?
Like, I don't know who need to hear this because I know it's
somebody driving to a job right now, man.
And they've, they got that feeling inside of him that they
want to give up, you know what Imean?
Like them bad days, they starting to add up, you feel me?
They feel like they efforts is not being rewarded.
(06:33):
They watching everybody else around them get promoted, get
rewarded, get recognized. Meanwhile they still grinding it
out and sometimes they feel likethey want to give up.
And I just really want to just tell anybody that's filling out
right now, man. Like if you continue to keep
your head down, you continue to keep moving forward, you
continue to keep overcoming it, you continue to keep showing up.
(06:55):
I promise you man, eventually, eventually is ghost show and and
you already know you know how exactly how I always kick it.
It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, it may not be next
week. Hell, it may not be next month
to be honest with you, it may not be next year.
But I promise you if you show up, you feel me like if you
(07:15):
really just show up, it will eventually show man like.
It will eventually come to life man like and that is one thing
that that 1,000,000 views reallytaught me.
Another thing man is sticking tothe fucking plan bro.
Like the fact that I didn't get 1,000,000 views from telling
jokes and I, and no shade to nobody for that does that.
(07:36):
That just isn't my lane. I didn't get 1,000,000 views for
shaking my ass or doing some weird fucking dance or lip
syncing or I got a million viewsfor doing something that was
very passionate to me. I didn't do it to create some
click bait. I didn't do it to get a quick
million views, man. I watched it every single time,
man. Just grow and grow.
(07:57):
And I remember before, before itwas 1,000,000 views.
I remember when I was getting 1000 views and I remember before
the thousand, I was just getting100 views.
Before 100 views, I remember I was just getting 10 views.
So when I tell you that hard work, it starts to pay off.
It really does man. And for anybody that don't
believe in man shit, just head on over to my page.
(08:18):
Look at my older videos, listen to my older episodes, man.
Like you hear the growth, you hear how far I've come, you
feel, you hear how far I've changed.
Or let me phrase that, you hear how much I've changed.
So I cannot say this enough, man.
Thank you so much for the 1,000,000 views.
But with that being said, let's go ahead and get started with
today's episode. I know somebody thinking right
(08:39):
now 7 minutes are straight he and you telling me that we
haven't even started today's episode.
God damn Meech Jesus Christ. I know ma'am, but I had to get
that off my chest. You know what I mean?
Like I really had to get that off my chest because it was
Father's Day. I hit 1,000,000 views and I and
hella freeze over before I get on here and say and not talk
about it. You know what I mean?
(09:00):
So I really wanted to get started with that man.
But in today's episode, man, just like what I did last week,
I really want to just start off with a quote.
And today's quote is something that it's a quote that I've seen
before. It's a quote that is resonated
with me. It's a quote that I have hung up
in my studio. It's be gentle to your mental
(09:21):
and for those who don't understand, man, a lot of times
we are our biggest critics. You know what I mean?
We're the hardest on ourselves. We're the first one to hold us
accountable, but we're the last ones to give ourselves praise.
And on our rough days, we don't take the we don't we never take
our foot off the gas. We constantly are applying
pressure. When we fail, we bout to beat
(09:42):
ourselves down. You know what I mean?
When things don't go our way, webout to tear ourselves apart.
When we mess up, we bout to scrutinize ourselves.
And I don't know you need to hear this, but please man, be
gentle to your mental, you know what I mean?
Be gentle to your mental state, whether that's taking a break
when you need it, whether that'sgiving yourself, what's that
word? Giving yourself grace when you
(10:05):
need it. And for those who don't know
what grace means, man, like that's giving yourself that
permission to honestly be yourself, You know what I mean?
That's giving yourself permission to honestly fuck up.
That's giving yourself permission to be human.
And I don't know who need to hear that Somebody right now
(10:26):
listening, They a top tier performer.
They hold themselves to a standard that nobody else could
ever reach. So when they fall, man, they
fall hard. And I just really want to just
tell you that like, allow yourself to be human.
Give yourself that exact same grace that you give everybody
else. Let me rephrase that.
Give yourself that exact same love that you give everybody
(10:49):
else. You know, you be telling people
how you worked hard, go ahead take the day off.
Why don't you give yourself thatwhen you tell somebody, when you
pat somebody on the back for their accomplishments, why don't
you do that for yourself them self-care days that you preach
about all the time. Demetrius, how about you take
long for yourself? So with that being said, man, I
(11:09):
cannot stress this enough and I want to say thank you, Bandy for
putting this out there, putting this message out there, but be
gentle till your mental. Now today's episode is I
actually heard it last week and it was a line that really
resonated with me. And it resonated with me for the
simple fact that this is actually something I tend to
struggle with a lot of because I'm very self aware, you know,
(11:33):
very self aware. But at the exact same time, man,
like that self-awareness is almost like a gift and a curse.
And I feel like how I show up, people will perceive me in a way
that I don't want them to perceive me as, you know.
So I try my best to try my best to always put my best foot
forward. So somebody told me that you
just sometimes just got to own the fucking space.
(11:55):
And I don't know who need to hear this, but you really got to
just own the fucking space that you're in.
It's somebody right now, man, that's afraid to really own that
space. When they walk into a room, they
do everything in their power to try to shrink and just fit
themselves in like this little corner.
They don't want to be noticed. They don't, they don't want to
stand out. They don't want to cause any,
(12:18):
you know, cause any ruckus. They don't.
They just want to just be small within this space.
And I don't know who needs to hear this, but when you do that,
man, you think you're doing everybody a service, but what
you're actually doing is doing everyone at this service.
You are in a space right now. And whether that's at a new job,
(12:39):
whether that's in a new position, whether that's at a
new unit, whether that's just anywhere, you owe it to the
people that are around you to own the space that you're in.
And when you own that space, right?
And when you own that space right, you're saying to the
world that you belong here. You understand your value, you
understand what you bring to thetable and you understand what
(13:00):
you bring to the team overall. And somebody once told me that
when you walk into a room, everybody is safer because you
were in there. The place is much better because
you were in there. And the situation has gotten a
lot better because you have, youhave now entered that room.
And I really need you to understand that.
Stop shrinking and saying to yourself, Ah man, I, I just
don't want to stand out or I don't want to be perceived as
(13:23):
arrogant. I don't want to be perceived as
too overly confident. Fuck all of that man on it.
You know what I mean? On that energy that you walk
into the room. You know what I mean?
On that space that you walk intoa room, some of y'all are really
qualified. You feel me like really
qualified to be doing the job that you're doing, but you don't
believe in yourself. You know, you don't believe in
(13:44):
yourself and because you don't believe in yourself, you want to
shrink and hide into a corner because you don't feel like you
belong there because you see howeverybody is, or let me phrase
that, you see how everybody is stacked against you and you feel
to yourself. Can I really top that or can I
really amount to that? You feel as if you don't belong
there. And I just really want you to
take that thought and I want youto toss it, bro, because you do.
(14:08):
You really do. And I remember that man, because
in 2021, I first showed up to mylast job, I shrunk.
I shrunk, you know, and I shrunkbecause I felt like I didn't
belong there. I looked at everybody around me
and I saw how great they were. I looked at everybody around me
(14:28):
and I said to myself, like, lookhow great they are, man.
Like these people are so much better than me.
I don't belong in here. And I spoke in a manner of
somebody that was less than them.
I acted in a manner that of somebody that was less than
them. I, I treated myself as somebody
that was less than them. And what did that get me?
(14:50):
It got me absolutely nothing, tobe honest with you.
I took a shovel and I just dug this enormous hole and it's
spend a year trying to climb outof it just to show everybody
that I was their equal. And the only person I had to
blame was myself. Because a lot of times, man,
when you refuse to own the space, you were allowing
everybody else to have it. When you refuse to own the
(15:11):
space, I'm rephrase, when you refuse to acknowledge the space
that you work in and own up to it, you allow people to take
that space for themselves. And what does that mean?
You allow them to generate this perspective of you, allow them
to be able to approach you in however way they want to.
You allow them to be able to treat you however you want to.
And, and unfortunately, man, like that's that nobody wins
(15:34):
with. So I will say this, when you
walk into that room, right as you walk in there on this Monday
morning, I want you to own that fucking space, OK?
I want you to let these people know that you're here, all
right? When you walk in there should
feel, you should feel like you got this aura about yourself
that you know exactly what you should be doing.
You know what I mean? You walking into a room and you
(15:55):
like, I'm here and I want everybody to know that.
And I don't care how everybody feels when they have a
conversation. Look into the conversation.
Sit at the edge of your seat, like as if you're in the
conversation. When people talk to you, I want
you to talk from the bellow of your voice.
I don't want you to have this shakiness in it.
You know what I mean? I want you to have some
confidence about yourself because it's going to pay off in
(16:18):
the long run. And lastly man, like don't judge
yourself based off of everybody else's accomplishments.
Stop trying to stack yourself against people that ain't that.
Been there longer than you that have done something differently
than you did. Just like what I said in the
very beginning of this man, it takes time, it takes effort, and
you got to show the fuck up. But if you gonna show up, you
(16:39):
need to own the space that you're showing up to.
Now, as we come to a close of this episode, I really want to
just surprise everybody and justshare that I have decided to
partner up with Rare Bandy for the I don't know, we'll need to
hear this, but be gentle to yourmental campaign.
As everyone knows that June is Men's Mental Health Awareness
month. And just like what I have
mentioned throughout this entireepisode, throughout this entire
(17:00):
podcast, and what a lot of my content centers around is just
idea of mental health, whether that's for the man, whether
that's for the service member, It's always been something that
resonated deeply with me. So with that being said, it is
with my pleasure that I decided to partner up with my longtime
friend and creative design behind the talking crazy podcast
(17:21):
before that behind the me speaksand and to just share with
everybody the I don't know who need to hear this, but be gentle
with your mental Shirts are now available at rarebaddie.com.
Link is down in the show notes. Link is down in the show notes.
And don't forget to head on overto the Instagram and check out
the link there. And just like that, another
(17:43):
extraordinary thought left this ordinary mind.
I hope you enjoyed this episode half as much as I enjoyed making
it. Don't forget to head on over to
your favorite streaming platform, whether that's Apple
podcast or Spotify podcast, and leave this podcast an honest
review because this podcast deserves to grow just as much as
we do. Also don't forget to head on
over to TikTok or Instagram and follow me at Meech speaks.
(18:03):
That's right, Meech speaks. Meech is spelled M EE Ch.
Stay motivated, stay healthy. I'm out.
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