Fatherhood Isn’t Easy—But You’re Not Alone (w/Myer Krah)

Being a dad is beautiful—and heavy. In this raw conversation, Meech Speaks sits down with Myer Krah of Here 4 The Dads Podcast to talk about fatherhood pressure, losing yourself vs. evolving, and why grace, community, and coaching (the “3 C’s”) keep men from breaking under the weight.

We talk growing up without fathers, military life, postpartum for dads, sitting in the car to decompress before walking in the house, being the example our kids deserve, and why our children shouldn’t inherit our fears. If you’re a dad, a mom, or just preparing for that season—this one will meet you where you are.

IG & TIKTOK: @meech.speaks @here4thedads

Let our sponsor BetterHelp connect you to a therapist who can support you - all from the comfort of your own home. 

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
So we talk about the stats and the research, right?
We got in America right now, onein four children are growing up
without their dads father figure, adopted, foster,
whatever. One in four.
That's 18.4 million children that are more likely to be like
4 times more likely to be in poverty, 7 times more likely to
be teen parents, 2 times more likely to drop out of school.

(00:29):
I always say something applies, motherfucker.
This episode is sponsored by Better Help.
What's going on everybody? As we all know, mental health is
a huge piece for me. And recently, as I become a

(00:49):
better version of myself, I've decided that it's time for me to
go to therapy because I understand how life can be a
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Visit betterhelp.com/meech Speaks and enjoy a special
discount on your first month. What's going on, everybody?
It's that ordinary podcaster with the extraordinary thoughts
that tells you to stop being great and be extraordinary.
I'm Demetrius Thakpen, also known as Me Speaks, and welcome

(01:52):
back to another episode of the Talking Crazy podcast.
Now, before we get started with this podcast, don't forget to
head on over to your favorite streaming platform, whether
that's Apple Podcast or Spotify Podcast, and leave this podcast
a honest review because this podcast deserves to grow just as
much as we do now. Hey, I'm gonna just be
completely honest with you. The way I'm excited about

(02:13):
today's episode, you feel me because first and foremost, it
is it it the episode means more when it resonates with you.
You know what I mean? Like, and I'm talking about your
experiences, your upbringing, you're you're just what you do
day-to-day. You feel me.
And when I say that I was a fan of this, this gentleman's work

(02:35):
prior to you, you see, I'm saying prior to ever reaching
out. And the reason why is because
growing up, I didn't have a father figure, you know, I mean,
like, I really didn't have like my dad in my life, you know, and
he would come in and out and I, I'm pretty sure everybody knows
the story between that. But when I tell y'all that I'm a
father navigating through the trenches of fatherhood, just

(02:58):
doing the best that he can. I'm doing the best that I can.
And it was this gentleman's likehis content, the work that he
does that also like I would takegems from and I would just add
it to, you know what I mean? And it just means so much to
really, really just have him on the show.
Also, y'all already know June is, is Father's Day, you feel

(03:21):
me? And, and sticking true to the
tradition, You feel me? You know, of getting socks, get
in the car, you know, probably getting a tie, some T-shirts.
I'm also bringing on fathers Father's doing great work.
So with that being said, y'all pretty, I'm pretty sure y'all
heard them on. They're here for the Here for

(03:42):
the Dads podcast. Annapolis graduate, Navy
veteran. Please, ladies and gentlemen,
give it up from Meyer Craw. What's going on bro?
I feel like I was supposed to press like the clap buttons and
everything. I was getting some sound
effects, I'm telling you. Oh, I feel like I was coming
into like a a fighting match, like I was in a boxing ring or

(04:03):
somebody. I was gonna go do like that,
man. What's going on, baby?
How you doing, man? I'm glad to be here.
Man, I'm man first and foremost.Man, you can't, you can't
appreciate enough good energy. You feel me?
Prior to this, we was already having a conversation, you know,
and I remember and I remember when we first locked in, we had
a whole hour. We had an episode right there on

(04:23):
the phone and I already knew. I was like, man, if he come on
the show, you know, like it it, it's just inevitable.
At this gonna be lights out. It's don't be game over.
And sometimes it's hard to 'cause I podcast too.
So when you try to do the intro call and then you start having a
good conversations, like I can'tbelieve all my audience and my
guests about to miss out on thisauthentic, beautiful, loving

(04:44):
conversation where everything isjust messing in the chemistry.
You know, you meet good people, bro.
You just meet good people. And I and I'm happy to have
gotten a chance to meet you A. 100% bro.
Now with that being said, man, tell the people just a little
bit about yourself. But one of the biggest things
that I've been doing lately, andI don't know, maybe it's because
I'm a recruiter, man. I think it is because I'm a
recruiter, man. But what made you join the

(05:06):
military and choose the Navy? Right now, I'll tell you the
answer that I had when I was in school probably got me killed.
It was football. Like when you tell, when you
tell me shit, man, When you tellother officers like you're a
freshman is like, well, why did you come here?
You going to the boot camp phaseand yelling at Johnson Why you
come here? It's like I can't play football.

(05:28):
Like what it's like. Yeah, man.
It's like I I wanted to go to a school where I could further my
career. But then as I peel some of the
layers back, to be honest, it was a lot more than that.
I being in a home where very, very close to poverty, you know,
we didn't have a whole lot of money.
It was 4 kids. We're just trying to make it
work. Sports we realized was going to
be our way out. So although I might have said I

(05:51):
want to play football, it was like I don't want my mom and dad
to try to pay for college because I know that they could.
So like let me go ahead and knock that out.
I also had seen a recession, so I was like, OK, how do I get a
job right after I get out if I don't go to the NFL when I
graduate, they're going to pay me.
I get a VA loan. I found my wife at the Naval

(06:11):
Academy. Like it don't get no better than
that. So me choosing to go to the to
the Naval Academy and joining the military ended up adding a
whole lot more wickets to that checklist of things and
requirements that I needed that I didn't know that I need it.
And I'm telling you, bro, when Itell people now and I talk to
younger guys, they just get so afraid because they feel like
there's so much pushed into their head about what the

(06:32):
military is and people get scared.
But honestly, you, I don't know,unless you've actually been in
the military and you get such a huge head start on life when you
join, if you don't have a plan. Even if you do have a plan, the
military has a space for you to fit it in there.
And I'll probably sound like a recruiter now, but I'm just
keeping it a buck. Hey, hey, hey.

(06:53):
I'm not even about to lie to you.
In the back of my mind, I'm likethis.
Yeah. You want to clip that?
You want to clip that, you know what I mean like hey, hey
recruiter man you, you, you wantto go ahead clip that put that
one out there alright, it's. The truth, man.
It's the truth, you know? But I think the one thing that
stood out the most, bro, and yousaid it and when you said it,
that was the same thing that I said when I was in high school.

(07:16):
I just didn't want my mom and dad to like like I didn't.
Well, I didn't want my mom to topay for college.
You don't know what I mean. Like I graduated 8th of my
class. I knew that if I applied to
college, I knew I could get intocollege.
I knew that. But I also knew college debt.
I also knew that if I didn't geta full ride scholarship, where

(07:38):
we about to get the rest of thismoney?
And I knew my mom's pushing it. She's pushing it and she's
willing to, you know, front the bill.
But I'm like, I'm not trying to put that on you, you know what I
mean? Like, yeah, we already and we in
the recession, you know, like it's already bad, you know?
So here I am in the midst man. I came in and I didn't come in
the military play football, but I came in the military for for a

(08:00):
lot of the same reasons you cameinto, bro.
Right. Yeah, it's it, It was, it was
amazing to like see how many other guys on my team had that
same mindset too. Like it was US coming in
together, same type of background and it made us work
together, made us push together when it when we got to the
Ambro. And I remember sitting in that
graduation class on that hot freaking Mayday, man.

(08:23):
And I'm just looking out front and they're calling names and I
go up and I still couldn't even recognize like I really
graduated. Like I got through this and I'm
sitting down and I open up my diploma and I see that they
spelled my name right. Oh, tears just started coming
down. I'm like, I did what I what I
came here to do. Like I'm about to get this job.
My parents don't have to worry about paying for college and

(08:45):
none of that stuff. Like I did what I came here to
do. And I was extremely proud of
myself during that moment. You know, the biggest thing, and
a young man had asked me a whileback, he had said, you know,
what is it that I can expect going into the military or how
can I be successful into the military?
It was one of the along those lines and I told him and I and
and you just really just echoed it right there is the the why.

(09:07):
You feel me like a lot of peopledo things.
You gonna go to college for whatever reason, you gonna get
this job for whatever reason. You gonna go into this trade for
whatever reason, you gonna go into the military for whatever
reason, But the reality is, is that if your why is not big, you
know what I mean? Like like this plan's got to
work because if it don't work, I'm not going to be able to go

(09:28):
back. You know, I ain't I ain't got a
lot working for me. If this does not work, then you
going to walk away. You going to quit.
And I'm pretty sure you saw it. I saw it and it's like, Dang,
man, like if you just would havegave just a little bit more, you
probably would have been able toaccomplish this.
So bro I I completely understandthat feeling right there.
Yeah. And they understanding like how

(09:49):
much that time is like in a lifetime.
Like if I even if I want to go in and do 20 years, let's say I
do 20 years Max or minimum, whatever you want to say.
That is a small portion of your life.
That is a window. And you come out with so many
benefits and the way that you can really set your life up and
your family's life up is incredible.

(10:09):
And I think about that all the time now.
It's like my kids get an opportunity to get all these
other benefits just because I decided to sign that piece of
paper. And now there's always a
conversation between me and other dads who are in the
military is like, hey, if your kids want to be in the military,
they want to join the Navy, would you let them?
And I'm not going to answer thatthat question first.

(10:30):
I want to be the one to ask you that question.
I don't know if you've been asked that before of you ever
had that conversation, but I want to ask you.
Oh, man, you know, see, This is why I love having another
podcast was on the show because hey, it ain't even about, you
know, you gonna, you gonna mess around, get a, get a interview
out out of me. And I think, bro, what?
I 'cause I have 4:00, I have 4:00.

(10:52):
I have two girls and I have two boys.
And you know, that conversation has came up.
You know what I mean? Because, you know, naturally I'm
gonna ask my children, you know,what do you want to be when you
grow up? You know, just to see what a
headspace is at and my oldest child, my oldest child, I feel
like she would join, if she joined the military, you know, I
would let her, you know about 100% I'm always going to support

(11:14):
it regardless of the situation. I'm a back it.
But if she would join the military, I think that she would
go into the Navy or probably theAir Force, you know, just
because she sees what, because she's the oldest one, she sees
the Marine Corps. So she sees what it's done to me
and everything like that and what I, I put into it.
My son, my son, actually, he expressed the interest 1st and

(11:35):
he's 10. And he came up to me and I asked
him. I was like, you know, what do
you want to be when you grow up?He looked me dead in the face.
And he was like, I'm gonna shootguns and blow shit up.
I said easy now. I said, I said hold on, First
off, watch your mouth. Second, Hell yeah, Hell yeah.
I hear that. His, I remember his mom, like
she chimed in, you know, she chimed in.

(11:57):
She said, hey, you know, you could always be a cop.
A firefighter said, hey, no, no,no.
He said he want to shoot guns and blow stuff up.
What? He said man you.
Know what I'm saying? Don't change it.
You know what I mean? And I was like, so do you want
to like, what do the military? And he was like, yeah, like, I
want to do what you do. And man, I never was able to
tell my dad that, you know, like, look at my dad and say I

(12:19):
want to do what you do, you know, because my dad was an
alcoholic, He was a drug addict.So like, I couldn't say like, I
wanna be, I wanna be like you. And it hit me when he said that
because I was like, dude, like, you wanna do it?
I did. Yeah.
You know, So that that right there solidified it because I
was like, whatever, if y'all wanna join the military, go for
it. You know what I mean?

(12:39):
Because I know my my youngest daughter, she's gonna follow her
brother. She If he goes, she'd come in.
She'd come in, right? Straight like that, straight
like that, you know? And my youngest boy, he's 2 and
he sees his brother, he sees hisbrother Box, he sees his brother
do all of these things. And I imagine that if he sees
him accomplish it, that's just going to light a fire right in

(13:02):
him. And as a father, I, I want to
see them successful. So if they see the military as
something that that they want todo, I'm all for it.
Now what about you? Man, I I think I'm right there
with you bro. I think in the beginning I was
like, Nah, heck, Nah because you're starting to think of
thinking of all the struggles like this was while I was

(13:24):
presently in. I'm like, no, it's too
challenging. Like I I'm doing this so that he
doesn't have to. Like I'm trying to set all this
stuff up. But then I'm thinking like, why
in the world would I not allow my child to afford them the same
head start that I got? Like how selfish of me to take
away the chances for him to get to suffer a little bit and to

(13:46):
learn and to grow because all those different challenges that
I got being in the military wereall things that made me grow as
a leader, a better person, a better husband, a better father.
Like it helped me so much as much as fatherhood helped me be
in the Navy as well. And I was like, I just if he
came to me, of course I would have questions for him.
Like I want to know like what what's the reason?

(14:07):
What do you want to do find looking at different avenues and
stuff. But we talking about joining
something and they're free with all those other different
benefits, Man, it's kind of hardfor me to tell him no.
Of course, we'll look at every single branch like I'm going to
be that father that's going to make sure I help him.
The same thing I would do is if it was drafted.
Don't hate to see me coming. Man, what?
I might have so many questions and I'm gonna add like it might

(14:28):
be what, 20 years from now, but like, I'm gonna have so many
questions and I'm gonna add likeI know what I'm talking about.
I remember everything because some things don't change,
especially in the military, liketradition never really
graduates. So when you talk about the
culture, the culture still goingto be the same.
And I'm be able to look that dude right in the eye or girl
right in the eye, be able to tell what they what they're
talking about. And they're telling my kids the
truth and asking them what we can and can't do and bonuses and

(14:51):
all that other good stuff. But it all comes down to if my
children say they want to join the military, I cannot be the
person that's going to stand in their way to grow as a person.
I just can't do it. A. 100%, man, like, you know
what I, I, I, I think about a lot because, you know, as, as,
as that when that question comesup a lot of times, man, like you

(15:13):
will see military parents, you know, kind of apprehensive
towards like hell no, I don't want my kid to join the
military. But is it because of the reason
why we joined? You know what I mean?
Like the reason why you joined, you know, like I joined the
military because I felt like I didn't have any other options.
You know, you joined the military because, you know, like

(15:33):
this was the best way, like, youknow, to be able to, you know,
further your, your football career, you know, do we look at
it in a sense of I've given you so many options, you shouldn't
have to join the military. I think that's it.
I think we're looking at it fromthe lens of us as we're a
younger child and you know, right now, like the military is
so diverse, man. Like there's legacy in the

(15:53):
military, people are joining because they're in the middle of
nowhere and they just need a wayout.
They join because they're extremely smart.
They got this masters and they want to be able to put it to
work. And the fastest way they can do
that is to join the military andand get their hands on some
stuff. So there's many different ways
while people are doing it. So if I'm having the mindset of
I'm joining so my parents don't have to pay for college, well,

(16:14):
now I'm set up so when my kids actually do go, I can pay for
college. So hey, you ain't got to worry
about that. Like, hey, I can help you with
your first job. So when he tells me, hey, I want
to go join the military, I automatically know it's for a
different reason, but I have to respect it.
It might be because hey, this islegacy or hey, that everything
that you learn, that honor, thatcourage, that commitment, that

(16:36):
grit, like I want to have that, like I want to have that
brotherhood. I want to get a chance to lead
sailors right away. I'm only 18/19/22 years old, but
they're not going to do that forme in the corporate world.
And I want to learn how to do that.
Now I gotta respect it. I have to.
Man, when I tell you right there, that piece, you, you know
what I mean, because that's beenon my spirit, you know, like

(16:59):
that had been on my spirit for awhile, because obviously, you
know, like I got a lot of peoplethat you know, their, their kids
are now at that age and they always say like, hell no, I
don't want my kid to join because you know, I've, I've
given them all this and I'm like, I don't think your kids
join him because of what he doesn't have.
I think your kids join him because of the example that you
showed him. You know, like he, he sees the

(17:22):
leadership aspect that you have.He sees, you know, the charisma
that you developed. He sees the command presence
that you have. He sees all of these traits that
you because you did a great job and and you did such a great job
that he want to he want to go inand get the exact same things
Because and I and I and I feel like in that sense, right there

(17:42):
is that we do such a great job that you can't help but not
expect your kid to follow in your foot stops because of the
simple fact of how good of a jobyou did.
You can't be mad at that, bro. And I mean, where did this fear
come from, bro? It's like when we had kids now,
we automatically assumed all these different risks and start
putting places, all these different fears and we end up

(18:03):
holding our children back doing that.
And often times what they talk about it like fear being taught,
it really is being taught. You can put a kid, a baby in the
pool and it's easier to teach them when they're young.
It's easier to teach them a language when they're young.
It's easier for them to do a lotof things, heights, all that
stuff, because you can introduceit to them while they're young.
But everything else, they get introduced as far as fear comes
either from their parents or somebody else.

(18:25):
So when they get to that stage or that level and we're telling
them, hey, you can't do this because of that or we're too
afraid for you to do something, we're only holding our children
back. And I think as fathers we got to
remove that veil. You know, and the crazy part
about that, you know, because this was a conversation that I
was having with another recruiter and I was like, you
know, it's like nature versus nurture.
You know, in the very beginning,we were.

(18:47):
So we allowed our kids to take risk in the very beginning, you
know, like think about it, you know, when they first learned
how to walk, that's a risk, you know what I mean?
Like it's a risk. And I remember when, when my
daughter first started walking, like it was the clumsiest thing
I've ever seen. It was the clumsiest thing I've
ever seen. Like she'll take a couple of
steps, she'll fall. And as parents, you want to come

(19:09):
in. But then as you're going in for
it, they immediately pick themselves back up and they they
don't forgot about the fall, They don't forgot all about the
fall. And they got to start taking
another couple of steps and thensoon they start walking.
So in that moment, right there, he was fearless.
He didn't care. But over time it feels like, you

(19:29):
know, just like what you said, like we start to let our fears
impute onto our kids and it's like, come on, just let him
walk. Just let him walk if he's.
Falling. But make sure that he's going to
be safe. Don't don't hinder it, but just
make sure. Yeah, and you and your job is
still to be there, right? Like we can.
We're still to backstop. We're not saying like, hey, just
let your kids RIP and run on a bike down the highway.

(19:52):
Like that's not what we're saying.
We're saying still be present, still make sure it's safe, but
you can't be overbearing, you know what I'm saying?
There has to still be that balance.
And that's why it's so cool too,to have like 2 in the household
who still understand like the nature and the nurture.
And that could flip flop, right?Like a dad could be more
nurturing than the mother is. But finding a balance and

(20:12):
teaching each other where you need to balance that out is
extremely helpful because it canget, it can get hard being a
single parent and not recognizing when you're faulting
in one area. You're just going off your
instinct in the best way you can, or you you are leaning too
much. Thinking you have to be the over
nature or the over nurturer and you're not catching it.
And that's why it's also good too, to have sometimes the

(20:35):
father figure and you putting your kids in sports.
You have the coaches and the mentors or going leading into
the, the military and, and just being around those spaces.
And the other way around, like being in the church.
There's a lot of women in the church that could help.
So if you're a single father andyou need that, you can look for
different areas to find that andkind of, you know, peel those
layers back and see where you might be missing.
But I'm with you on that bro allthe way.

(20:56):
Man, I love that man. I love that.
Now as we talk about just being a dad, man, like, you know, once
again, you know, for those who don't know, you know, about the
podcast, man, can you just tell us a little bit about the
podcast? Yeah, man, absolutely.
Like it has grown so much dog. Like, I started the podcast just
because I felt like men weren't talking enough, like we just

(21:17):
weren't having the conversationsthat we needed to have.
And I was trying to figure out why, Like, why is this?
And there were so many differentfears from the outside,
externally, a lot of it wasn't man to man.
It was fear of being seen a certain way at work, being seen
a certain way to our family, notwanting to seem weak, seeing
being seen a certain way to our wives and not knowing how to

(21:40):
have those conversations that communicate or just feeling like
people didn't care. So I had been in the military
part for about 345. I might be dating myself.
I was in the military for a little time at this point, but
the job still felt new because we jumped every two years to a
different command, right? And then I was in Guam.
I was somewhat of a new husband.And now I'm like this somewhat

(22:02):
of a new dad. I'm still trying to figure it
out. And I was like, man, this is
actually really hard. Like I, I really care a lot
about being a father, but I'm not having conversations with
people about the challenges thatI'm, that I'm having.
So I started talking to different, the people that I was
close with and I recognized thatthey were resonating with my
story. Like they felt the same way.
And I was like, why are men not talking about like, why are dads

(22:25):
wanting to have this conversation?
And we're just not having it? And I recognize that was it.
We wanted to have the conversations, but we weren't
having it. So here for the dads literally
came from trying to create a space for other fathers to have
a conversation around equipping each other around trials and
tribulations around the good stuff, the easy conversations
that are that are that can be had around education.

(22:47):
And then the hard conversations,infant loss, miscarriages,
postpartum time period. So it has grown from that to
having a community, like I'm having people reach out to me a
lot and we're getting together outside of the podcast, which is
cool. And this last portion of it is
coaching. That's what is leading into now.
Like I've actually started taking courses and getting
certified. I want to be able to help

(23:09):
because when a homeboy hits me up, a father hits me up, said,
hey, my child is not not doing anything but eating chicken
Nuggets and gummy worms. I want to be able to give him
real steps his back on science now recognize I I can still have
the experience and we can give each other that type of wisdom,
but I want to be able to have a little bit more.
I want here for the dads to kindof be that one stop shop that

(23:29):
can really help a dad out because there's a huge gap in
fatherhood and parenting resources for the dad.
And we got to change there, bro.We really do.
No 100% man. You know, what's so crazy is
that that piece of, you know, the conversation needs to be
had, but you know, we just not having it, man.
So I'll tell you how I stumbled upon your your contact.

(23:51):
You feel me? So I had my young, my my
youngest, my youngest son. And this is the first time that
you know, because being in the military, I'm I'm either here,
I'm there, you know what I mean?And I missed the birth.
I've missed parts of pregnancy, you know what I mean?
This one, the last one, I was there from start to finish, and

(24:13):
it was the first time that I hadever been in a scenario like
this. You know, I've never been around
this before. And now he's here.
We, we getting past like the whole like, you know, honeymoon
stage, you know, of like, Oh my God, it's a new baby.
This is actually #4 you know, this is #4 you know, he at the
hospital thinking like, Dang, man, this must be so nice.

(24:35):
Look at my parents. He don't know that he got other,
he got three other siblings. He don't know that yet.
He don't know that. He don't know that he about to
come to the house and it's aboutto be straight chaos.
What is this? You know what I mean?
He come in and all yours like helike what happened.
That's when it hit me and you know we were working opposite

(24:56):
shifts. So I was working days and she
was working nights. And when I tell you this, this
ain't for parenthood, ain't for the weak.
No, Sir. Parenthood ain't for the weak
man. Because now I got three other
kids who have their own different personalities.
They have their own different routines.
I'm in the middle of their routines and I'm navigating with
a baby as well. You can't sit down.

(25:19):
You got to stand up. And now he's nursing.
And when I tell you I was Googling things, I was like, can
dads feel postpartum depression?Can dads feel, you know, like
I'm looking for so many things and I couldn't find anything.
And I remember feeling so lost, bro.
Like, I remember feeling so lost.

(25:39):
Like there was one time he woke up.
I got to be at work at 5:00 in the morning, got to be there at
5:00. That means I got to be up at 4.
You know what I mean? Yes, Sir, he.
Wakes up every other because youknow when when when they nurse
and they waking up every other hour.
Yep and he's waking up every other hour and I remember just
putting the baby down and just like because he crying

(25:59):
unconsolably and I'm in the closet crying.
I'm in the closet because I don't know what to do and I feel
so helpless man. Like so finding your content, it
gave me such a it just, it made me feel like I wasn't alone bro.
And I appreciate that so much. Well, I, I've been there and I
want to say thank you. I mean, I'm, I'm glad what I'm
doing is helping because I mean,before, if you go back to when I

(26:22):
kind of started here for the dads and started doing content
and stuff like that, that wasn'teven a picture of me at all.
I was just with the kids and stuff.
And then I recognized that like,men weren't having a
conversation. I didn't get my butt out there
and do it. Like, I need to start leading
the charge and having these conversations, no matter how
easy or how hard. And I remember a mentor telling
me, if you want people to be authentic and vulnerable with

(26:42):
you, you got to leave with your own vulnerability.
Like that's, that's the gift that you have to give to men if
you want them to give you a piece of dance.
So I just started telling the stories.
I started talking about crying like my baby, the my, my wife
was on three-week underway and it's just me and my oldest son
now. And I couldn't get him to eat.
And no matter what I gave him, Itried the Mac and cheese, I

(27:04):
tried the can, I tried whatever.And he just wouldn't eat.
And I just sat in that chair right next to him.
I just cried. He's in a high chair, He's
crying. I'm standing right next to him,
I'm crying. And it was like, man, this is
extremely hard. And when I go on my wife's
social media or her Facebook pages, there's so many different
groups for moms, stay at home moms, working moms, whatever

(27:25):
Black moms like they're having the conversations and it's so
open. And I'd like to say the
conversations start way earlier,even when they're kids and they
get the little baby dolls and they're playing house and we're,
we're told to go outside. Like we, they forget that we're
going to be a dad one day and wehave to also hold that baby.
So I feel ill prepared when the child came out and I was like,

(27:47):
oh, now we got to go home and take the baby.
And I have a wife who is postpartum that I also have to
take care of, but I don't reallyknow what she's going through.
So it's like we got to fill these gaps, bro.
Like there's there's too many gaps.
And a lot of it is around ignorance.
So when you get that ignorance and get that lack of confidence
because there's a lack of understanding, you have fathers

(28:10):
who don't want to be there or you have men who don't want to
be fathers. So we talked about the stats and
the research, right? We got in America right now, one
in four children are growing up without their dads, father
figure, adopted, foster, whatever.
One in four. That's 18.4 million children
that are more likely to be like 4 times more likely to be in

(28:32):
poverty, 7 times more likely to be teen parents, 2 times more
likely to drop out of school. And now the reason the dad is
there, it could be a bunch of different stuff, right?
But understanding that there's agap and actually helping might
change things. So we can do that and we can
just have these conversations like we're having right now.
It might prepare a young man to be like, you know what?
Being a dad might be cool. I do want to do that, and I do

(28:52):
want to be present. No 100%, man.
And the biggest thing that I, I feel like I felt especially
First off, First off, would you just say it right there?
Them numbers, you know what I mean, right?
I'm surprised I don't. Remember the numbers though.
Hey, hey, would you say right there was just the not wanting

(29:13):
to be a dad. Look, I'm gonna just put my hand
up, man, because I remember thatfeeling right there.
I remember that feeling. You know where I'm coming home
from work and I'm sitting in thecar.
I'm not even sitting in the car for around the in front of the
house because I don't want nobody to see me.
I don't want the kids to see me.You know what I mean?

(29:34):
I'm sitting in the car at the gas station around the corner
and I'm trying to get myself like decompressed because I'm
like, man, like I already know I'm about to go.
I already know she leaving and I'm coming in.
I'm taking over this shift and Ifeel like I'm about to like go
in here for another round. I'm about, I feel like I'm about
to go and get beat up and it's like I'm hoping for like send me

(29:56):
to the field, send me on the deploy.
Stand. Send me away, please.
And I felt man, when I tell you I felt so ashamed of that, you
know what I mean? Like I felt so ashamed and I
couldn't even tell anybody how Ifelt about that because I didn't
want nobody to look like the side eye me because I was like,
I like if you just I, I couldn'teven articulate it.

(30:16):
And I also felt like I was losing a piece of myself as
well. And I just really want to just
ask you, man, like you just likenavigate it, you know, like
that, that losing yourself versus like evolving into a
better version of yourself through fatherhood.
Absolutely, man. And and that I thought about it
in a bunch of different ways as I first become a father and it
was like a huge identity shift. And I didn't see it as the

(30:40):
identity shift. I saw it as like me losing
something. And I want to go into like that,
that time period where everything just kind of seemed
unbearable, like work was a lot being sleep deprived.
Your wife is possibly going through postpartum depression or
hormones is changing and or she's also sleep deprived.

(31:01):
So you guys are arguing about nothing, not seeing each other
enough because you're going to work.
It's just so much going on and it becomes unbearable.
And you realize that you have tosink your teeth in a little bit
more to this fatherhood thing soyou can actually be successful.
And you completely shut off the part that's actually you, the
hobbies, the friends, the, the feeling, OK, the joy, the

(31:24):
changing your emotions, the relief or whatever it is you
feel like. And then you're leaving the
home, right? You're the dad, you're, you're
the husband, right? So you're like, I can't worry
about me right now. Like I need to push all that
stuff back. And as I started focusing on
everybody else in the house and what they needed, I was like, am
I really just completely forgetting about myself or am I

(31:48):
finding going to be unselfish and finding grace and growing in
different areas before I get back to myself?
I said, well, let's figure it out, right?
I started diving deep, started going to therapy, started having
those conversations. And there was a piece of me that
was lost though, like I wasn't going to work out the way I used
to. I didn't care about the clothes
that I, that I really wanted to wear.
So I started to make sure I tookcare of myself first.

(32:11):
But when I became myself again and I, I was a whole meeting
now, because now I found grace in a different way.
I was, I had patience in a different way.
When I stepped into work, I was looking at those parents in a
different light. I became a better leader because
of how I had to be at home. Also, when I'm talking about

(32:31):
peeling the onion back and I don't know, another fruit or
vegetable or something that if you sit it down it gets old, you
got to peel the bad part out. But that's kind of like the
onion. I was only peeling that brown
part off when that happened, andI didn't lose.
I was still the onion. I didn't lose my identity
completely. I just needed a different area
to grow in and fatherhood did that for me man.

(32:52):
God, hey man, like sometimes yougot to navigate between you
being you, you, you, you being on the show versus you
listening, man. Because I'm selling right now,
I'm. I'm going from listener back.
Oh, shoot, we we recorded, you know what I mean?
I know the and I say that man, because that piece right there,

(33:14):
you know what I mean? Like where?
I'm a dad now, you know, let me shut this piece off.
Let me let me put this in a box.I promise you I'm gonna come
back to it, you know, but let melock in and focus on this.
And just like what you say, you know, I'm not, I don't really
care too much about like, you know, what clothes I got on.
Hey look, I'm in dad mode, right?
Now I'm a dad mode right now, yeah.

(33:34):
And I remember telling myself like, whoa, hey, I understand
you, you, you, you, you a dad. But you also got to remember
that you you were example too. You know, if your kids see see
this all the time, you going to make them scared of parenthood.
You won't give a bad impression of parenthood.
You won't give them a bad impression of being a dad.

(33:55):
You still got to show up as you in front of your kids so your
kids can still see you because all they know right now is just
dad you and that piece right there, man, when you said that
and when I realized that I'm like, no, no, we gotta let's
rewind. I remember grabbing telling them
all like, no, the kids got to see us be affectionate.

(34:17):
They got to see us go on dates. They got to still see us and and
see how we navigate through this.
Because if don't, then we're setting a bad example, bro.
So like I felt like we evolved more with the situation.
Absolutely. And I've, I've thought of so
many different ways to like cover up, not wanting to be the

(34:37):
example to, and I think we as a culture have done it like the
dad bod. I was like, oh man, I mean, I
got a dad bod. Like it's cool.
Like I don't need to really workout.
I just got to, you know, take care of these kids.
And I, it became a joke, but I was like, I feel like I'm hiding
from something. Like I'm putting my kids in all
these sports and we have conversations around health and
I tell them that they can't havecandy all the time and but I'm

(34:58):
not taking care of my own health.
What kind of example am I truly setting?
How long before he sees the realme and recognize that I'm not
doing what I'm telling him to do?
Will he continue to do the rightthing?
Because now we're talking about desire and discipline.
Right now he's got this desire to do all the things that I told
him he can't do. And I'm hoping that the
discipline kicks in. But if I ain't got no discipline

(35:20):
and I'm teaching him the same thing, I can't expect for him to
kick it in the gear. It ain't going to happen.
So I'm with you on that. But we got to set the right
example as the. Man, my biggest fear as a father
is what my son says. Dad, why didn't you?
That's a bit, that's a fear of mine.
You know what I mean? Like, like, like, you know it
better than I do, you know, You know, just as much as I do.

(35:42):
As kids, we was told go to college, get a good job, you
know, and now here we are evolving into this version, you
know what I mean? And I'm telling my son that, oh,
we got to train, you know, you got to do boxing.
You got to do this. You got to you got to go to
sleep at this time. You got to you got to watch what
you eat. You got to exercise, you got to
play sports. And if he looked at me and said,
Dad, why didn't you do any of that?

(36:04):
You know, why did you let yourself go?
But you want me to go and play sports?
You telling me that I got to watch what I eat?
You got you telling me that I got to be healthy.
But Dad, you smoke cigarettes. So and, and, and then I got to
give him what, what this excuse?Oh, you know, that's just me.
Nah, Nah, no, like I'm a hypocrite now.
I'm a hypocrite and my kid goingto pay attention to that and he

(36:27):
going to be like, okay, I could pick and choose which word I
want to follow. And I'm like, Nah.
And it might not even be one of those things where they they're
mad at you or sarcastically saying or like or hate you for
it. It could be a thing where they
actually love and like who you've become, but you don't
like who you've become because, you know, you didn't do the
right things. So now he's like, but I like how
you turned out, Dan. So I want to do that too, you

(36:48):
know? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Because they don't know about the stuff, the back doors, the
the so many mistakes, the thingsyou had to go through that you
just couldn't tell him. Yeah.
He might be too young to understand that perspective.
So it's king things. We have to be aware of that
they're going to we catching on to an example that is more than
we think. Man, and you know what's so
crazy, man, what I love about this episode, man, it's just

(37:09):
like the just like what you saidas we peel back the onions, you
know what I mean? But the one thing that I just
want to ask, man, it's just how do we navigate the the pressure
of because we're dad, we we, we are husband, we, we, we the head
of the house. And in most cases, we the rock
to, you know, so how are we navigating this pressure?

(37:32):
That's honest. Because I mean, you act society,
society is just going to tell you to man up.
Society is just going to tell you to suck it up.
You know, that's your role, that's your responsibility.
But then if that's the case, then you, you, you sitting in
the car, you know, staring into oblivion, trying to get yourself
together, you standing outside, you know what I mean, trying to

(37:53):
lock in before you go back in there because, and then you also
holding it in, you also holding it in.
You can't tell everybody what's going on with you because you
feel like I'm dad, I'm, I'm so much in this household.
I can't. So rather how, how, how do we
navigate that? How do we navigate that
pressure? So for sure, and, and I'm going

(38:14):
to take this, it's not like a, awork pitch or anything like
that, but the three C's of fatherhood, some that I created
and it has worked for me in likeevery step of the way.
Those 3C's are conversations, community and then the coaching
piece, right? You talk about the pressure.
We don't want to remove ourselves from being the
husband. We can't remove ourselves from
being the father. We don't want to remove

(38:35):
ourselves necessarily from beingthe rock.
So we recognize we still have tobe in these positions, but
there's so much pressure now. We think like a bottle of soda
or something like that. Anything that takes pressure.
You shake that bottle of soda upwhen you open that bad boy all
the way up full throttle, it's going to bust.
Like stuff going to come all outof it.
Or if you think about something else that takes too much

(38:56):
pressure, at some point it's going to explode.
So what you have have to do is find ways to release and relieve
the pressure. Those three things will do that.
So let's say you're in a place where you are spiraling mentally
and the heavy emotional load is just getting too much for you.
You have to find a way to have these conversations either with

(39:17):
your close friends, you might need to go to therapy, you might
need to get a journal. But the conversations have to
come out of your mind because ifthey don't, they're going to
continue to fill up in here. And you're going to start having
some thoughts that aren't yours that you may not be able to
recognize. You might not be in a place to
challenge the lies, right? And you're thinking about
suicide. You're thinking you're, you're

(39:37):
in a deep depression. You're thinking about people
cheating on you. It's just all this stuff in your
head that you need your friends to help you challenge the lie
on. You need your friends to tell
you that you're not alone. So the conversation starts 1st
and then you got to have the community, right?
That's where you get a chance tosee that other people are going
through stuff. That's where you get a chance to
see even even if you're like an introvert, right?

(40:01):
It's OK to still be an introvertand have friends and go out and
do stuff and possibly have the hobbies, right?
You can't just be stuck in your hole and think that everything
is going to happen for you rightthere.
That can be a dark place for you.
You don't have to do it all the time, but the community matters.
It can be people you don't know at all.
You might could just go on a vent, Bryan, find something, go

(40:21):
there and then come right on home.
You might not ever go there again.
It might be the, the family members that you guys say, hey,
I just want to go grab some coffee.
The community matters. And for me, I'm, I'm going to be
going to daddy's trailer social club Atlanta chapter here soon
in July. I'm, I go to a mental health
group where it's all men and we just have conversations on a
different group. And I also do like a small group

(40:42):
virtually when I just have conversations.
So that has been my community. And every time I don't feel like
going, I'm like too tired. It's just a bunch of stuff going
on. I decide to go anyway.
It is a huge release for me of the pressure that I have.
And then when you get into the coaching part, that last seat,
the coaching can come in different areas, right?

(41:02):
You might have a mentor or a father who has already been
through those stages that you'rein, who is just willing to talk
to you about it, willing to giveyou some advice.
You might have a real parent coach, a parent coach that is
willing to come one-on-one coachyou or whatever area you need
help in. Like there's so many different
ways that you can find coaching and that you can find mentorship

(41:23):
because me and you better. We've been in the military for a
good amount of time and everything we do, there's going
to training. You're going to have a coach,
they're going to put somebody infront of you.
We got aviators. We're not going to take that
first flight unless they have been coached and trained.
I played football since the age of nine.
I was coached and trained, but before raising a generation.
We don't talk about coaching andtraining experience.

(41:44):
We need that. So to say it all, to put it all
together, the three C's of fatherhood, if you want to
release some of that pressure ofbeing the father of the husband,
the rock man. I love an episode that I could
just, I, I could learn from, youknow what I mean?
Like I love an episode with, hey, look, I don't know if you
saw me, but I was writing that down.
I was like 3C's, hold on, now hold.

(42:06):
On. Hey, and I'm gonna tell you
right now, that community piece,that conversation, that coaching
man, like these are things that like I, I, I had to use, you
know what I mean, to be able to get through that.
And, and especially like the community, dude, like I, I tell
you, ain't nothing better than hanging around other dads, you
know, so that you could bounce ideas off of them.

(42:27):
You could bounce experiences offof them.
You could, you could safely. And I, and I say this, man, like
you could safely relieve that pressure, you know, because I
remember having conversations with my close friends just
telling them like, oh man, like I tell you right now, these
kids, man, these can't be the same kids that our parents was
talking about. These is these is these kids is
bad. All right, I'm about to go like

(42:48):
like I remember calling Mama. I remember calling up one of my
friends and telling her I was like, look, man, you remember
when when when we was kids different.
This ain't this ain't even the same.
Can't be the same bro. They don't go outside and play,
all right? They just stay in here, all
right? This is they playground.
This whole house is a playgroundto them, Man, I just cleaned up
the kitchen. The kitchen dirty again.

(43:12):
I'm feeling way too much bread. This is, you know what I mean?
And somebody told me it's in theMcDonald's.
It must be the chemicals in the McDonald's.
And the reason why it's different because our parents,
they have McDonald's money. We got McDonald's money now.
So we gifting them to McDonald'sand whatever is in them chicken
tenders is turning these kids different.
Man, I tell you right now, ain'tnothing.
There's nobody will prepare you for the the kids meal to adult

(43:35):
meal phase, you feel me? Nobody prepares you for that,
you know. You know, Is that what I'm
talking about? Yeah, I just hit it.
I literally just hit it bro and it it hurts.
We pulled up to McDonald's. I said hey I was like what all
y'all want? I'm thinking you know they're
going to say the kids meal. My son he going to say hey can I
get a #10? I said what he said, yeah, you

(43:57):
know, like let me get the the 10piece nugget, you know, I said,
so where you going to put all that?
Where you where you going to putall that?
And I bet he ate it all too. Bet ate it all.
He don't want the toy. He don't care about the toy.
That's crazy. My daughter followed up and said
yeah let me get 2 double cheeseburgers and a large fry.
I said Oh yeah, oh we're there now.
Yeah, bro. Yeah, dog.

(44:19):
You know, and then the dad that hit different.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My my oldest is 7 now and he's
like eating everything. But like some time I will
miscalculate how much food he's actually going to eat and like
when he's hungry and or full andthen get to the point was I
ain't get enough food. I got to give him mine.
I'm just like, good gracious this dude was not stop eating.
Man, you know, there was three things my momma used to say that

(44:41):
when I was a kid. I just didn't understand it
until I had. I had.
You had to become a parent to understand this.
The first one, you just eating that because you see it.
You eating it because you know it's there.
You feel me? I know for a fact y'all ain't
hungry. Y'all just want to eat it
because you know it's there. It ain't going nowhere.
I promise you it ain't going nowhere.

(45:03):
The second one, Damn, can I get in the house first?
I didn't understand that one. I ain't understand that one.
Say it again, I got 2 for you. And when it was going to be
about food, my mom used to always say y'all don't eat me
out of house at home. And I was like, I get it because
I just bought these chips and wejust bought this juice today all
of it's gone. You going to eat me out of

(45:25):
house? All the other one is I can't
even hear myself think bro. It'd be so much yelling in the
house. It's like they're legit be
having like screaming matches and sometimes they just scream
and scream. Nobody's hurt, nobody's like
fighting or nothing like that. They're just screaming.
And I got 4 boys. They sound like just, I don't
know what they sound like. Sirens.

(45:47):
That's what they sound like and I can't even hear myself think
the perspective we have now bro.My daughter, she made me like
say like, hey, like we can have kids.
You know what I mean? Like, this is great.
You know, she's great. My son, if he would have came
before her, I would. I will only have one child.

(46:07):
I will only have one child because he was just mad.
And you say you got all boys. And also congratulations on your
new addition. Thank you brother, thank you,
But I got finally have my girl man.
I so for the ones that don't know, I got a 7 year old boy, 4
year old boy, a set of twin boysthat are two and I just had my
baby girl three months ago. So it's been crazy, It's been

(46:28):
wild. And they've all been like the
first one, like it was like that.
Like I had all attention on him and he was easy.
I'm going to say he's easy, right?
There was still like the baby challenges and the learning and
stuff, but I think it's the second born, bro.
The second born just does something.
They. Are fearless they just do
whatever they want and need to and then we got double teamed by

(46:49):
the twins. This baby girl had to me has
been perfect. She been sleeping at night she
don't cry unless she hungry. I'm just like this is amazing.
It's making me think I want another one but 6 is wild.
I'm going to have to move out ona farm in Waco, TX.
I ain't doing that. Man, look, look, look, somebody,
hey, hey, I remember somebody came up to me and they said it
was like, there's like, how manykids do you have?

(47:11):
I was like, I got four. It was like, damn, I said hold
on, Four kids ain't even a lot. 4 ain't even a lot.
They hit you with the Kevin Hart?
Damn. I'm like, I was like, 4-4 ain't
four ain't even a lot, you know?And you got 5.
Five and but I don't know what one thing about being in the

(47:31):
military is that like there's a lot of help like we know who to
call the hospital to call and you never bought the insurance
and all this stuff. I am sitting here trying to find
a doctor to do this vasectomy and I I don't know what to do I
don't know who to call I don't know the first step.
So that's one thing for the guyswith transitioning out learn
that you got to step and be boldand like call people and do

(47:52):
stuff yourself. The military will not do things
for you all the time once you get out. the VA is a great help.
But right now, if I don't hear up and find this doctor, I'm
just going to say that I'm I don't want to jinx myself, but I
need to hurry up and find this doctor before.
I I've been looking for a vasectomy Dr. since #2 and here

(48:14):
I am at #4 you. Know.
Like I keep putting it on my to do you know what I mean?
But. You are there to doing something
else. You better hurry up and get
that. Like and it's, you know, so I
might be at 5 before, you know. So if you hear that, just say
like, look man, like just send me the link.
That's it, and I'll just do the part.
Yeah, bro. Or you gonna be sending somebody

(48:34):
the baby registry link? You better.
I'll find one for us, bro. We're gonna match our dates up.
We're gonna do it together. Hey go through recovery on the
same time man I. Would.
You now one one thing man, before I let you go bro, you
know as as millennials as me andthat have grown up.
You know what I mean? Like how, how have you been able

(48:57):
to navigate through fatherhood as the example that you you want
it to be or the example that youneeded?
You know what I mean? Like a lot of times, like we
experience parenthood and we always say to ourselves, you
know, I want to be better than what my parents were or I want
to do what my parents couldn't do, you know what I mean?
But we're also carrying in and some baggage from our childhood

(49:20):
into parenthood. So what were some lessons that
you learned that helped you likebe able to like drop some of
that baggage? That is so good.
I would start by saying you can't blame everybody for
everything. At some point, you got to take
some accountability. I know in leadership they teach
us, you know, you're going to have all these different leaders

(49:42):
and you take some of the good and you take some of the bad.
But I wasn't doing that in parenting.
I was just blaming my parents for everything that I knew that
was wrong and I wasn't taking any accountability for what I
could do and what I could change.
So it took that reflection firstto first kind of understand and
get a perspective they did the best that they could and that

(50:02):
they had their own trauma and their own baggage, right?
So when I built that perspectiveand I was able to forgive them
and kind of say, OK, I do want to do something different for my
kids, but it's not going to be because they did something.
It's not going to be like, I want to be better than my
parents. It's going to be I just want to
give them the best that I can give them.
And when I recognize that and then not and it was no longer

(50:25):
around my parents, I just becamean intentional father.
So I read something in the motherhood book actually, and it
talked about when you see something in your child that you
want to change, look into yourself and see if there's
something in yourself that you should change first.
And now when I take that step, Irecognize that there is always

(50:45):
like a little chip of wood somewhere in my eye that's
holding me back or giving me this frustration as it pertains
to my child. So when I do fix that and I do
check myself, I'm able to show up to him correctly or them
correctly, right? I'm able to be intentional with
the responses that I make. And it's so helpful, bro.
And, and I'm, I'm able to do this with a lot of other fathers

(51:08):
because we're having this conversation about mental health
and men are starting to have theconversations more.
And I get to have conversations like this with you and we can be
open about like the traumas and the reasons why we respond.
And you might be a dad who doesn't want to to spank.
It's like, well, how do I do that if that's all I know?
Well, now you have other people who can have the conversation.

(51:30):
And it's getting, I don't want to say it's getting easier, but
it's getting more, everything isbecoming more aware, more
accessible. The information is becoming more
accessible. So I hope that answered your
question man. That did more to answer my
question. You know what I mean?
And I love the fact that becauseI remember having this
conversation, you know, so crazyyou I actually talked to a mom

(51:52):
about this. I, I actually got this question
from a mom and she had gave me an answer that really stuck with
me because she was like, you know, we always say that we want
to be better than our parents orgive our kids the things that
our parents couldn't give us. But did you ever step take a
step back and think like this was probably all your parent
could have gave you? You know, like your parent was

(52:13):
doing the best that they could with what they had?
You know what I mean? And you know, we we we carried
that into adulthood, you know, like, Dang, you know, I want to
be able to do this for my kids because my mom couldn't do this,
but not realizing the hoops thatmy mom probably had to jump
through just to be able to give me this.
And when I realized that it gaveme a certain level of empathy,

(52:35):
but it also allowed me to heal differently, you know what I
mean? Like in a heal, in a way of
like, just because you didn't have that, be grateful that you
did have this, you know, and be grateful that you had a mom that
did try. You know, it may not been what
you wanted, but at the exact same time, like she did
something. Now what you about to do with
the resources that you have, what you about to do with the

(52:55):
things that you have, like, you know, rewrite the chapter, you
know what I mean? Like you, you got your own page,
you know, So I, I, I appreciate that so much bro, I really do.
Yeah. And I said his last thing, too.
Like, I remember trying to builda perspective of having a
conversation with my mom. And she was always like, yeah,
we didn't have that, or nobody talks about that or they talk
about this. And I was like, yeah, just want
to give them, you know, what we didn't have?

(53:16):
And I just want to be, you know,something la, la, la.
And she was like, yeah, I said that, too.
Our parents said that, too. They wanted to give them a life
that they didn't have. It will be better than the
parents that they had. They all said that, too.
So it's just a Stephen Stone that we got to recognize that.
Man who I love that piece right there.
Like like I know for a fact thatwhen they was holding me they

(53:36):
was like this. I can't wait to give them all
this. You know what I'm saying?
And then life coming, life coming, life gonna come.
I know for a fact she didn't know the recession was gonna hit
us like that. I know for a fact.
They didn't know that. But she did the best that she
could. She did the best that she could.
And when you say that, man, likeit gives you, you forgive them,

(53:59):
but you also, you know, I'm, I'mgiving them the best I can, man.
Like I got to give myself some grace.
You, you feel me? I got to give myself some grace,
you know. But as we come to a close to
this episode, rather than that, like, what is something that you
want to leave us with, man? Like what's some advice you want
to leave us with? Man, I want to use this word
grace, grace, grace, grace, grace, grace.

(54:20):
And I want this to go to fathers.
I want to go to mothers, those who don't have kids at all.
We don't give each other enough grace, and we don't give
ourselves enough grace. We are not going to have all the
answers. Your dad out there, you become a
new parent. And now you're starting to feel
this fear that you're just not going to measure up or be enough
and that you're supposed to haveall these answers.

(54:41):
Being a dad does not mean that you just automatically become a
superhero. Yeah, now you got a couple more
superpowers, but you're not a superhero.
You do not know everything. But the fact that you care is
being intentional, and that's what matters.
To be present and have grace foryourself because we deserve it.
I love that man. Now do you got a you you
mentioned like a upcoming event,man, like go ahead, man.

(55:03):
Where can we find you? Where can we?
Because I hey, look, if you listen to this and you want to
hear more a he, he has his own podcast too.
All right. So brother, please like like
what events you got coming up and where, where can we find
you? Yeah, man, I'll do my little
plug. So on Instagram is probably
where I'm most active. You can find me at here for the
dads, and that's a #4 at here for the dads.

(55:26):
And then I am now going to be the leader of the Atlanta
chapter of the Daddy Stroller Social Club.
So if you're in the Atlanta area, if you want to drive down
here, you could do that too. We've already got like 267 dads
now who have registered. We've got a couple celebrities
we're talking about possibly coming out there.
That's not what it's about. It's about brotherhood.
It's about creating a space for guys to connect.
We're going to be going out to apark and we're just going to

(55:48):
stroll for a little bit, man, allow our kids to play and be
free. We plan on probably meeting
either monthly or bimonthly, butthat's July 12th here in
Atlanta. That's the Daddy Stroller social
club. You can follow us just like that
on Instagram. Register if you want to be
there, and then if you want to listen to my podcast, man, pull
up. It's the same thing as here, the
number 4, the dad's podcast. You can find me on Instagram or

(56:09):
wherever you listen to your podcast.
YouTube as well. And just like that, another
extraordinary thought left this ordinary mind.
I hope you enjoyed this episode half as much as I enjoy making
it. Don't forget to head on over to
your favorite streaming platform, whether that's Apple
podcast or Spotify podcast and leave this podcast on honest
review because this podcast deserves to grow just as much as

(56:29):
we do. Also don't forget to head on
over to TikTok or Instagram and follow me at Meech speaks.
That's right, Meech speaks. Meech is spelled M EE Ch Stay
motivated, stay healthy. I'm out.