November 3, 2025 • 20 mins
Men are burning out because we’ve been taught that self-care is soft. In this powerful episode of Talkin’ Crazy Podcast, Marine and motivational speaker Demetrius Thigpen (Meech Speaks) breaks down the truth about masculinity, rest, and what it really means to take care of yourself.
This isn’t about spa days or bubble baths — it’s about preventive maintenance. Meech shares personal stories from his time in the Marine Corps, lessons on burnout, and how to balance being strong with being human.
💬 In this episode:
Why men are afraid to practice self-care
The cost of saying yes too often
How to set boundaries without guilt
Why rest is part of discipline, not the opposite
The Marine mindset behind mental strength
🎧 Listen to Talkin’ Crazy Podcast every Monday & Thursday for real talk about mindset, motivation, and what it means to be human — from a United States Marine’s perspective.
IG & TIKTOK: meech.speaks
Let our sponsor BetterHelp connect you to a therapist who can support you - all from the comfort of your own home.
Visit https://betterhelp.com/meechspeaks
and enjoy a special discount on your first month.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
So when we redefine what self-care is, especially for US
men, understand you are not a bitch, OK?
You are not soft. You are just taking care of
yourself. I want to say something apart,
(00:24):
motherfucker. This episode is sponsored by
Better Help. What's going on, everybody?
As we all know, mental health isa huge piece for me.
And recently, as I become a better version of myself, I've
decided that it's time for me togo to therapy because I
(00:46):
understand how life can be a little overwhelming and we all
need help navigating through thetrenches of military service in
and out of uniform. Better Help connects you with a
licensed therapist who is trained to listen and give you
helpful, unbiased advice. 1st all you got to do is go to their
site. Matter of fact, you can use my
link right here. Answer a few questions and
Better Help will match you with a professional who has years of
(01:07):
experience in helping people with struggles just like yours.
You can do it all from your phone or computer, via phone
call or video chat or messaging however you feel most
comfortable. It's the easiest possible way to
start talking to a therapist. You will be matched to a
therapist usually within 48 hours, so you can get started
fast. Let Better help connect you to a
(01:27):
therapist who can support you all from the comfort of your
home. Visit betterhelp.com/meech
Speaks and enjoy a special discount on your first month.
What's going on, everybody? It's that ordinary podcaster
with the extraordinary thoughts that tells you to stop being
great and be extraordinary. I'm Demetrius Thicke and also
known as Me Speaks. And welcome back to another
episode of the Talking Crazy podcast.
(01:48):
Now, before we get started with this podcast, don't forget to
head on over to your favorite streaming platform, whether
that's Apple Podcast or Spotify Podcast, and leave this podcast
a honest review because this podcast deserves to grow just as
much as we do. All right, so before I even get
started with today's episode, I got to get this off my chest.
So I'm not going to be able to sleep at night.
(02:09):
We are two days. All right, And if you're
listening to this episode, 3 days into the month of November
and it's already Christmas decorations up.
We already got Christmas. Halloween was literally 72 hours
ago and we already are getting into the Christmas spirit.
Like I don't heard last Christmas, you feel me?
(02:32):
Motherfuckers talking about playing Mariah Carey.
We, we, we ain't even in the winter yet.
This is still fall. We not just going to skip past
like, I don't think a lot of people understand, man.
Thanksgiving is still a big three holiday, you feel me?
Thanksgiving is still a big three holiday.
(02:53):
And if you know me, you know exactly where I'm standing on
Thanksgiving, you feel me? Because Thanksgiving,
one-on-one, definitely coming this month.
But Thanksgiving is still a big three holiday.
On top of that, we still got to get through veteran's day, the
Marine Corps birthday. We still got major holidays to
get through before anybody couldeven be talking about some
(03:16):
fucking Christmas. You see what I'm saying?
So I'm telling you right now, all right?
I went to the store and it was some they, they had eggnog
already out. I ain't even eggnog ain't
supposed to be out in the fall, but I digress.
I digress. Let's get down to the reason why
I'm here now, I don't think a lot of people understand this,
(03:38):
man. And one of the things that I
cannot stress enough about this podcast is the fact that this
podcast is dedicated to navigating the trenches of
military service in and out of uniform.
What does that actually mean? All right, That's fucking
self-care, OK? That's just a big word for
properly taking care of yourselfwhile you're in the military.
(04:02):
And I don't know, maybe it's because I hurt myself.
Maybe it's because of my knee. My knee situation, maybe it's
because of the space that I'm in, but one thing that I have
fucking noticed and I'm a just go ahead and just say it exactly
how I how I think it. I'm not going to dress it up
because I'm on air or I'm on thepodcast.
We are so fucking ignorant. No, no, no, because I was going
(04:25):
to say it. No, we are so fucking dumb when
it comes to fucking self-care, bro, Like we are so fucking
dumb. And and when I say we ladies, if
you listening to the show right now, I'm not even talking about
you. Matter of fact, when it comes
down to self-care and properly taking care of yourself, women
knock that shit right on up out to the park, all right?
You don't say who I'm talking to.
Men, men are stupid when it comes to self-care, bro.
(04:48):
We, we have all of these weird preconceived notions about it.
You feel me? We have all these preconceived
notions about it. We think that it's a spa day.
We think that it's getting our nails done.
We think that it's a rest day. We think that it's going out to
eat or, or some other weird social media shit that you don't
fucking sing, bro. But I will tell you this, and I
(05:10):
mean this wholeheartedly, self-care isn't, it's not soft,
bro. OK, I don't know who needs to
hear this, but self-care is not soft, bro.
Stop saying that is fucking soft, all right?
You sound stupid when you say that, all right?
Because when you really break itdown, self-care is just you
taking care of yourself. So let me get this straight.
(05:33):
Taking care of ourselves, that'ssoft.
Taking care of ourselves, that'sweak.
Taking care of ourselves, that'sfor women.
Are we fucking serious right now?
That's fucking stupid. That's fucking stupid.
And I apologize for my language,man.
But at the exact same time is way too many of us that neglect.
We neglect taking care of ourselves, and then we find
(05:56):
ourselves in situations that we can't come back from.
We find ourselves in situations that we can't come back from.
And I don't know who needs to hear this, but self-care is not
soft. It's preventive maintenance.
Let's get started with today's episode.
All right, so First things first, let's talk about the
misconception. All right, the problem when you
hear self-care, let me rephrase that.
The problem when a man hears self-care is there's a huge
(06:19):
misconception, all right? There's a huge disconnect.
We think, once again, spa days, taking a fucking bubble bath,
you feel me? With the Epsom salt or the bath
bomb or some weird shit like that, pouring a glass of wine.
You know, we, we, we, we don't think of it as some, some manned
shit. We don't, we don't think of it
like that. And then when you look on social
(06:40):
media, they don't do a good job with this.
You feel me? Like I remember when I first
explored this, the surface levelof what self-care was was some
bullshit. And I, I actually wrote it down,
man. Like, First things first, when
I, when I scrolled through social media just to, and I
typed in self-care, the first thing I saw was social media
(07:01):
fucking routines. All right?
These were unrealistic fucking routines.
I'm talking about skin care routines, fucking toothbrush
routines, mouthwash routine, Goddamn forehead routines.
You know what I mean? Like anybody that sees that
knows for a fact I ain't doing none of that shit.
I ain't doing it, man. I'm about to wipe.
I'm about to wash my face with the same cloth that I just wipe
(07:24):
my ass with and I'm going to bed.
I'm going to bed. Then on top of that, you go
down, you keep going down and you see somebody and they're
always doing something extreme, whether that's a ice bath.
And once again, I'm not taking anything away from ice baths or
climbing in the woods or walkingaround.
(07:44):
It's always something great for likes.
It's great for likes, it's greatfor views, but it's not
realistic to the everyday person.
So naturally, you already are turned off from the situation.
Hell, I was turned off from it and this is my niche.
The next one was the spas. Bro, I did not realize that that
(08:05):
spa shit was was a real thing until I actually went on social
media. You, you got people with the
cucumbers on their eyes. You got the little shit right
here. Once again, the being in the
military, the man that I know, the people that I know coming
from Detroit, MI, ain't nobody doing none of that.
Ain't nobody doing any of that. All right.
I saw one dude he had Polish on his fingers, man.
(08:25):
Once again, it's always this bigturned off of what it is and it
kind of like pushes you away. If that works for you, that
works for you. However, there's a huge
misconception. Another one.
Oh my God, long ass captions. You know the videos where they
do like this whole routine, you feel me?
And and this routine they got like these powerful motivational
(08:46):
captions. Once again, great for social
media, great for views, great for likes, but ain't realistic.
And lastly, once again, to closeit all out, another unrealistic
routine. And when you look at all of
that, obviously the average person is going to say this shit
(09:08):
is soft. This shit is stupid.
But this, this is probably this,this, this is for women.
Does it sound close? close minded?
Yeah. But at the exact same time,
that's, that's honestly what most men think.
You feel me? And I know it's somebody that's
probably like, oh, well, they haven't matured.
I ain't grow up seeing my brother fucking paint his
fucking nails clear. I did not grow up watching my
(09:29):
brother who's 15 years older than me tell me that.
Yeah, man, you need to practice self-care.
And you know, you, you, you got to, you know, take a take a rest
day. I didn't grow up seeing any of
that being in the Marine Corps. I did not see none of my
sergeants came out and told me any of that.
You feel me? They just said take care of
(09:49):
yourself. That was it.
So obviously when I see it on social media, and that's not
something that I grew up with, obviously there's going to be a
huge disconnect and I'm immediately swipe past the
video, you know, so there's thatmisconception.
But when you peel back the layerand you really think about it,
self-care is just preventive maintenance.
(10:10):
And when we say it's preventive maintenance, would you drive
your fucking car on a flat tire?I'll say it again, man.
So that way everybody heard exactly what I said.
Would you drive your car if it had a flat tire?
Probably to the tire shop so youcan put air in it.
Probably to the dealership so you can get some air in it.
But you wouldn't get on the freeway and continue to do the
(10:33):
exact same speed on a flat tire.No you wouldn't.
You wouldn't drive your car if the check engine light was on
and smoke was coming out. You wouldn't do that.
You wouldn't keep flicking on the light bulb if you knew the
light went out. You wouldn't do that.
You wouldn't keep messing with the remote if you knew the
(10:55):
batteries were about to die. You will only change the channel
if it mattered. So if you know all of these
things when it comes to objects,why the fuck is it so hard for
you? You to take care of yourself
when your engine light comes on,when your light bulb goes out,
(11:16):
when your tire gets flat, Why isit so hard?
I don't know who needs to hear this man, but it's not soft bro.
I remember man when I had messedmy knee up man, and I made that
video, it was so many people talking about oh sick Bay
commando. You wouldn't have survived in
the 80s, you wouldn't survive the 90s, you wouldn't have
(11:36):
survived. I'm like this bro.
I'm just going to get my knee looked at.
What the fuck? I don't think people get this.
If you take care of yourself, then you going to be able to be
in the fight longer. If you don't take care of
yourself, you're going to find yourself not functioning.
(11:57):
And if you're not functioning, you can't be in the fight.
If you can't be in the fight, then guess what?
You can't. You can't do your job.
You can't be a asset, you a detriment to your fucking team.
Like it's almost a no brainer. And to be honest with you, when
I look at the people that I surround myself around, it's
almost imperative that we take care of ourselves.
(12:20):
You know what I mean? Like it's almost, almost
imperative to practice self-care.
So now that we talked about the misconception, let's just throw
a couple of things out there of what self-care actually looks
like, especially just for us. Man, you feel me?
Does it have to be this long, extensive social media routine?
No. Does it have to be a fucking spa
day? No, it doesn't.
(12:41):
It's just simple things that youdo to ensure that you are still
functioning. You feel me?
Whether that's mental, physical,or spiritual.
A good example of what that spiritual and that mental looks
like for me is, is that I wake up every day at 5:00 in the
morning, every day at 5:00 in the morning.
Sometimes I go to the gym, othertimes I'm just pouring a cup of
(13:02):
coffee and I'm just sitting on my couch.
Why? Because I already know in the
next two to three hours my kids are coming down those fucking
stairs like a fucking tornado. So I use that little bit of time
for peace. Sometimes I might even play the
fucking game, bro. So that way, that way I just
have some time to myself. That way when I see them, I'm
(13:23):
already excited to see them. I'm not seeing them like, Oh my
God, here they come. self-care also just looks like it's going
you going to the gym And do you got to go to the gym with a
fucking purpose? No, bro, you really don't.
All right, you can go to the gymjust to relieve stress, all
right? You don't got to go in there
with a notebook and a scale and A and a duffel bag.
(13:45):
And no man, like you ain't got to do all of that, you feel me?
All you got to do is just go in there just to relieve stress or
just to move your fucking body body.
The benefit is, is that you fucking get in shape.
That's what it what it looks like.
What it also looks like is just saying no.
That's what that piece right there self-care can look like
just saying no. And I will say that right now
(14:07):
some of y'all agree to shit thatyou know damn well you already
got too much on your plate. You already got too much on your
fucking plate. That's why you lash out at
people went over the smallest things because you already had
too much things on your plate and you said yes when you knew
you were supposed to say no. So that self-care that actually
looks like you saying no, not because you don't give a fuck
(14:29):
about them, not because you don't care, because I already
got a lot on my plate. Come back later and I'll be able
to say yes or help me out and I can be able to take care of some
of this stuff. But right now it's no, You feel
me? Self-care could be many things,
but at the end of the day, as long as it's ensuring that you
can stay functional in your house, at your job, just in your
(14:53):
life, it's anything, bro. It's really anything as long as
you're taking care of yourself. And yes, you can, you can take a
ice bath if you want to. So now that we talked about the
misconception, we also threw outexactly what self-care could
even look like. Let's also talk about exactly
what happens when you don't takecare of yourself.
Now, for those who don't know, all right, I used to work at the
(15:14):
martial arts and fitness Center of excellence.
You feel me? That was a different time.
And during that time, I also realized like, damn, man, I
really need to focus on taking care of myself now.
I think it was my, my first yearand a half there, like my first
year and a half there and I was in, I got stuck in this space of
always feeling like I had to sayyes.
(15:37):
I always felt like I had to say yes regardless of the situation.
Even when I was overworked, I said yes.
Even when I was tired, I said yes.
Even when I was hurt, I said yes.
Even when I knew I couldn't do it, I still said yes.
I remember one time, my, my, my,my boss, he walked in and he
said, hey, didn't I just tasked you out with something?
(15:57):
I was like, yes. He was like, well, why didn't
you tell me that you were already tasked out with
something when I tasked you out for something else.
In my mind, I'm like, well, why don't?
Why didn't you fucking? You know what I mean?
Like you, you knew that you already ties him.
Why the fuck would you come up to me again?
But because I don't say no, all I said was, well, I knew I would
be able to take care of it. I was fucking lying.
(16:18):
I was fucking lying. And guess what happened?
By the end of my first course, me and him actually got into it.
You feel me full on screaming match because I had finally
reached my breaking point. I had finally reached like this
boiling point and I ended up just flipping over something
very small. Could this have been prevented
(16:39):
100%? And I, I just want to tell
anybody that's listening, a lot of the things that you probably
deal with in your life probably could have been prevented.
They probably could have, but you never acknowledged it.
You know, you never acknowledgedit for hell, man, like from a,
from a sprained ankle that turnsinto a full on stress fracture
(17:00):
that turns into a full on break.You know damn well you could
have prevented that. Just get the fuck off your leg
to you blowing up on your spouseor on your children or a junior
Marine at work. And trust me, I've been there.
I've been there. Overstimulated, stressed out,
definitely got a lot on my plate.
And here come a Lance Corporal about to ask me some bullshit
(17:21):
and he bout to get the worst response ever.
Ain't my proudest moment. But at the exact same time, I
was just burnt out. I was just overworked and I
didn't say no. So that's just one piece of what
it looks like. But at the end of the day, man,
and I cannot stress this enough,when you constantly are
neglecting taking care of yourself, that's exactly what it
(17:41):
is. When you're constantly
neglecting taking care of yourself, obviously eventually
you going to have an entry. You don't have an outburst, you
don't have a moment where you'relike, what the fuck am I doing?
But this is where I'm at now. So we have to understand that
this isn't soft man. Like this isn't soft.
This is actually mandatory. You have to be able to take care
(18:03):
of yourself, especially if you are high functioning individual,
especially if you are in a leadership position, especially
if you fucking the head of a household, especially if you got
people that are dependent on you.
How the fuck, how the fuck, as as a provider, as a as a leader,
as a boss man, as so many thingsto so many people and you're not
(18:25):
taking care of yourself. And then when you fucking fall
on your face, you're with what are you going to expect somebody
else to get up and do it? Are you expecting somebody else
to come and help you? Brother, you have to help
yourself. You got to take care of
yourself. All right, So now that we don't
talked about the misconception, we don't talked about what what
(18:46):
the steps could look like. We also even talked about the
neglect. Let's just redefine this shit,
all right, One thing that you got to understand self-care is
just you taking care of yourself, bro.
You can do that anyway. It could be done anyway.
It does not have to be like thissage super social media ish
routine. It does not all right, but I
will tell you this First things first is that you got to change
(19:08):
the way that you talk about it, all right?
It ain't soft. You ain't being a bitch.
You ain't being weak. You ain't being any of these,
you ain't being feminine or anything like that.
When you taking care of yourself, you are making sure
that you are still functional. The same way that you would make
sure that your car had an oil change.
The same way that you would check you would get new tires if
they get balled out, the same way that you would change the
(19:29):
fluids out, the same way that you would change a light bulb
out. You taking care of yourself so
that way you can continue to keep using yourself as long as
possible, as long as you can stay in the game.
So when we redefine what self-care is, especially that
another extraordinary thought. Understand you are not a bitch,
OK, You are not soft. Don't forget the head on over to
(19:51):
your favorite platform. That's Apple podcast or Spotify
podcast and even this podcast are honest review because this
podcast deserves to grow just asmuch as we do.
Also don't forget to head on over to TikTok or Instagram and
follow me at Meech speaks. That's right, Meech speaks.
Meech is spelled M EE Ch Stay motivated, stay healthy.
I'm out.
So when we redefine what self-care is, especially for US
men, understand you are not a bitch, OK?
You are not soft. You are just taking care of
yourself. I want to say something apart,
(00:24):
motherfucker. This episode is sponsored by
Better Help. What's going on, everybody?
As we all know, mental health isa huge piece for me.
And recently, as I become a better version of myself, I've
decided that it's time for me togo to therapy because I
(00:46):
understand how life can be a little overwhelming and we all
need help navigating through thetrenches of military service in
and out of uniform. Better Help connects you with a
licensed therapist who is trained to listen and give you
helpful, unbiased advice. 1st all you got to do is go to their
site. Matter of fact, you can use my
link right here. Answer a few questions and
Better Help will match you with a professional who has years of
(01:07):
experience in helping people with struggles just like yours.
You can do it all from your phone or computer, via phone
call or video chat or messaging however you feel most
comfortable. It's the easiest possible way to
start talking to a therapist. You will be matched to a
therapist usually within 48 hours, so you can get started
fast. Let Better help connect you to a
(01:27):
therapist who can support you all from the comfort of your
home. Visit betterhelp.com/meech
Speaks and enjoy a special discount on your first month.
What's going on, everybody? It's that ordinary podcaster
with the extraordinary thoughts that tells you to stop being
great and be extraordinary. I'm Demetrius Thicke and also
known as Me Speaks. And welcome back to another
episode of the Talking Crazy podcast.
(01:48):
Now, before we get started with this podcast, don't forget to
head on over to your favorite streaming platform, whether
that's Apple Podcast or Spotify Podcast, and leave this podcast
a honest review because this podcast deserves to grow just as
much as we do. All right, so before I even get
started with today's episode, I got to get this off my chest.
So I'm not going to be able to sleep at night.
(02:09):
We are two days. All right, And if you're
listening to this episode, 3 days into the month of November
and it's already Christmas decorations up.
We already got Christmas. Halloween was literally 72 hours
ago and we already are getting into the Christmas spirit.
Like I don't heard last Christmas, you feel me?
(02:32):
Motherfuckers talking about playing Mariah Carey.
We, we, we ain't even in the winter yet.
This is still fall. We not just going to skip past
like, I don't think a lot of people understand, man.
Thanksgiving is still a big three holiday, you feel me?
Thanksgiving is still a big three holiday.
(02:53):
And if you know me, you know exactly where I'm standing on
Thanksgiving, you feel me? Because Thanksgiving,
one-on-one, definitely coming this month.
But Thanksgiving is still a big three holiday.
On top of that, we still got to get through veteran's day, the
Marine Corps birthday. We still got major holidays to
get through before anybody couldeven be talking about some
(03:16):
fucking Christmas. You see what I'm saying?
So I'm telling you right now, all right?
I went to the store and it was some they, they had eggnog
already out. I ain't even eggnog ain't
supposed to be out in the fall, but I digress.
I digress. Let's get down to the reason why
I'm here now, I don't think a lot of people understand this,
(03:38):
man. And one of the things that I
cannot stress enough about this podcast is the fact that this
podcast is dedicated to navigating the trenches of
military service in and out of uniform.
What does that actually mean? All right, That's fucking
self-care, OK? That's just a big word for
properly taking care of yourselfwhile you're in the military.
(04:02):
And I don't know, maybe it's because I hurt myself.
Maybe it's because of my knee. My knee situation, maybe it's
because of the space that I'm in, but one thing that I have
fucking noticed and I'm a just go ahead and just say it exactly
how I how I think it. I'm not going to dress it up
because I'm on air or I'm on thepodcast.
We are so fucking ignorant. No, no, no, because I was going
(04:25):
to say it. No, we are so fucking dumb when
it comes to fucking self-care, bro, Like we are so fucking
dumb. And and when I say we ladies, if
you listening to the show right now, I'm not even talking about
you. Matter of fact, when it comes
down to self-care and properly taking care of yourself, women
knock that shit right on up out to the park, all right?
You don't say who I'm talking to.
Men, men are stupid when it comes to self-care, bro.
(04:48):
We, we have all of these weird preconceived notions about it.
You feel me? We have all these preconceived
notions about it. We think that it's a spa day.
We think that it's getting our nails done.
We think that it's a rest day. We think that it's going out to
eat or, or some other weird social media shit that you don't
fucking sing, bro. But I will tell you this, and I
(05:10):
mean this wholeheartedly, self-care isn't, it's not soft,
bro. OK, I don't know who needs to
hear this, but self-care is not soft, bro.
Stop saying that is fucking soft, all right?
You sound stupid when you say that, all right?
Because when you really break itdown, self-care is just you
taking care of yourself. So let me get this straight.
(05:33):
Taking care of ourselves, that'ssoft.
Taking care of ourselves, that'sweak.
Taking care of ourselves, that'sfor women.
Are we fucking serious right now?
That's fucking stupid. That's fucking stupid.
And I apologize for my language,man.
But at the exact same time is way too many of us that neglect.
We neglect taking care of ourselves, and then we find
(05:56):
ourselves in situations that we can't come back from.
We find ourselves in situations that we can't come back from.
And I don't know who needs to hear this, but self-care is not
soft. It's preventive maintenance.
Let's get started with today's episode.
All right, so First things first, let's talk about the
misconception. All right, the problem when you
hear self-care, let me rephrase that.
The problem when a man hears self-care is there's a huge
(06:19):
misconception, all right? There's a huge disconnect.
We think, once again, spa days, taking a fucking bubble bath,
you feel me? With the Epsom salt or the bath
bomb or some weird shit like that, pouring a glass of wine.
You know, we, we, we, we don't think of it as some, some manned
shit. We don't, we don't think of it
like that. And then when you look on social
(06:40):
media, they don't do a good job with this.
You feel me? Like I remember when I first
explored this, the surface levelof what self-care was was some
bullshit. And I, I actually wrote it down,
man. Like, First things first, when
I, when I scrolled through social media just to, and I
typed in self-care, the first thing I saw was social media
(07:01):
fucking routines. All right?
These were unrealistic fucking routines.
I'm talking about skin care routines, fucking toothbrush
routines, mouthwash routine, Goddamn forehead routines.
You know what I mean? Like anybody that sees that
knows for a fact I ain't doing none of that shit.
I ain't doing it, man. I'm about to wipe.
I'm about to wash my face with the same cloth that I just wipe
(07:24):
my ass with and I'm going to bed.
I'm going to bed. Then on top of that, you go
down, you keep going down and you see somebody and they're
always doing something extreme, whether that's a ice bath.
And once again, I'm not taking anything away from ice baths or
climbing in the woods or walkingaround.
(07:44):
It's always something great for likes.
It's great for likes, it's greatfor views, but it's not
realistic to the everyday person.
So naturally, you already are turned off from the situation.
Hell, I was turned off from it and this is my niche.
The next one was the spas. Bro, I did not realize that that
(08:05):
spa shit was was a real thing until I actually went on social
media. You, you got people with the
cucumbers on their eyes. You got the little shit right
here. Once again, the being in the
military, the man that I know, the people that I know coming
from Detroit, MI, ain't nobody doing none of that.
Ain't nobody doing any of that. All right.
I saw one dude he had Polish on his fingers, man.
(08:25):
Once again, it's always this bigturned off of what it is and it
kind of like pushes you away. If that works for you, that
works for you. However, there's a huge
misconception. Another one.
Oh my God, long ass captions. You know the videos where they
do like this whole routine, you feel me?
And and this routine they got like these powerful motivational
(08:46):
captions. Once again, great for social
media, great for views, great for likes, but ain't realistic.
And lastly, once again, to closeit all out, another unrealistic
routine. And when you look at all of
that, obviously the average person is going to say this shit
(09:08):
is soft. This shit is stupid.
But this, this is probably this,this, this is for women.
Does it sound close? close minded?
Yeah. But at the exact same time,
that's, that's honestly what most men think.
You feel me? And I know it's somebody that's
probably like, oh, well, they haven't matured.
I ain't grow up seeing my brother fucking paint his
fucking nails clear. I did not grow up watching my
(09:29):
brother who's 15 years older than me tell me that.
Yeah, man, you need to practice self-care.
And you know, you, you, you got to, you know, take a take a rest
day. I didn't grow up seeing any of
that being in the Marine Corps. I did not see none of my
sergeants came out and told me any of that.
You feel me? They just said take care of
(09:49):
yourself. That was it.
So obviously when I see it on social media, and that's not
something that I grew up with, obviously there's going to be a
huge disconnect and I'm immediately swipe past the
video, you know, so there's thatmisconception.
But when you peel back the layerand you really think about it,
self-care is just preventive maintenance.
(10:10):
And when we say it's preventive maintenance, would you drive
your fucking car on a flat tire?I'll say it again, man.
So that way everybody heard exactly what I said.
Would you drive your car if it had a flat tire?
Probably to the tire shop so youcan put air in it.
Probably to the dealership so you can get some air in it.
But you wouldn't get on the freeway and continue to do the
(10:33):
exact same speed on a flat tire.No you wouldn't.
You wouldn't drive your car if the check engine light was on
and smoke was coming out. You wouldn't do that.
You wouldn't keep flicking on the light bulb if you knew the
light went out. You wouldn't do that.
You wouldn't keep messing with the remote if you knew the
(10:55):
batteries were about to die. You will only change the channel
if it mattered. So if you know all of these
things when it comes to objects,why the fuck is it so hard for
you? You to take care of yourself
when your engine light comes on,when your light bulb goes out,
(11:16):
when your tire gets flat, Why isit so hard?
I don't know who needs to hear this man, but it's not soft bro.
I remember man when I had messedmy knee up man, and I made that
video, it was so many people talking about oh sick Bay
commando. You wouldn't have survived in
the 80s, you wouldn't survive the 90s, you wouldn't have
(11:36):
survived. I'm like this bro.
I'm just going to get my knee looked at.
What the fuck? I don't think people get this.
If you take care of yourself, then you going to be able to be
in the fight longer. If you don't take care of
yourself, you're going to find yourself not functioning.
(11:57):
And if you're not functioning, you can't be in the fight.
If you can't be in the fight, then guess what?
You can't. You can't do your job.
You can't be a asset, you a detriment to your fucking team.
Like it's almost a no brainer. And to be honest with you, when
I look at the people that I surround myself around, it's
almost imperative that we take care of ourselves.
(12:20):
You know what I mean? Like it's almost, almost
imperative to practice self-care.
So now that we talked about the misconception, let's just throw
a couple of things out there of what self-care actually looks
like, especially just for us. Man, you feel me?
Does it have to be this long, extensive social media routine?
No. Does it have to be a fucking spa
day? No, it doesn't.
(12:41):
It's just simple things that youdo to ensure that you are still
functioning. You feel me?
Whether that's mental, physical,or spiritual.
A good example of what that spiritual and that mental looks
like for me is, is that I wake up every day at 5:00 in the
morning, every day at 5:00 in the morning.
Sometimes I go to the gym, othertimes I'm just pouring a cup of
(13:02):
coffee and I'm just sitting on my couch.
Why? Because I already know in the
next two to three hours my kids are coming down those fucking
stairs like a fucking tornado. So I use that little bit of time
for peace. Sometimes I might even play the
fucking game, bro. So that way, that way I just
have some time to myself. That way when I see them, I'm
(13:23):
already excited to see them. I'm not seeing them like, Oh my
God, here they come. self-care also just looks like it's going
you going to the gym And do you got to go to the gym with a
fucking purpose? No, bro, you really don't.
All right, you can go to the gymjust to relieve stress, all
right? You don't got to go in there
with a notebook and a scale and A and a duffel bag.
(13:45):
And no man, like you ain't got to do all of that, you feel me?
All you got to do is just go in there just to relieve stress or
just to move your fucking body body.
The benefit is, is that you fucking get in shape.
That's what it what it looks like.
What it also looks like is just saying no.
That's what that piece right there self-care can look like
just saying no. And I will say that right now
(14:07):
some of y'all agree to shit thatyou know damn well you already
got too much on your plate. You already got too much on your
fucking plate. That's why you lash out at
people went over the smallest things because you already had
too much things on your plate and you said yes when you knew
you were supposed to say no. So that self-care that actually
looks like you saying no, not because you don't give a fuck
(14:29):
about them, not because you don't care, because I already
got a lot on my plate. Come back later and I'll be able
to say yes or help me out and I can be able to take care of some
of this stuff. But right now it's no, You feel
me? Self-care could be many things,
but at the end of the day, as long as it's ensuring that you
can stay functional in your house, at your job, just in your
(14:53):
life, it's anything, bro. It's really anything as long as
you're taking care of yourself. And yes, you can, you can take a
ice bath if you want to. So now that we talked about the
misconception, we also threw outexactly what self-care could
even look like. Let's also talk about exactly
what happens when you don't takecare of yourself.
Now, for those who don't know, all right, I used to work at the
(15:14):
martial arts and fitness Center of excellence.
You feel me? That was a different time.
And during that time, I also realized like, damn, man, I
really need to focus on taking care of myself now.
I think it was my, my first yearand a half there, like my first
year and a half there and I was in, I got stuck in this space of
always feeling like I had to sayyes.
(15:37):
I always felt like I had to say yes regardless of the situation.
Even when I was overworked, I said yes.
Even when I was tired, I said yes.
Even when I was hurt, I said yes.
Even when I knew I couldn't do it, I still said yes.
I remember one time, my, my, my,my boss, he walked in and he
said, hey, didn't I just tasked you out with something?
(15:57):
I was like, yes. He was like, well, why didn't
you tell me that you were already tasked out with
something when I tasked you out for something else.
In my mind, I'm like, well, why don't?
Why didn't you fucking? You know what I mean?
Like you, you knew that you already ties him.
Why the fuck would you come up to me again?
But because I don't say no, all I said was, well, I knew I would
be able to take care of it. I was fucking lying.
(16:18):
I was fucking lying. And guess what happened?
By the end of my first course, me and him actually got into it.
You feel me full on screaming match because I had finally
reached my breaking point. I had finally reached like this
boiling point and I ended up just flipping over something
very small. Could this have been prevented
(16:39):
100%? And I, I just want to tell
anybody that's listening, a lot of the things that you probably
deal with in your life probably could have been prevented.
They probably could have, but you never acknowledged it.
You know, you never acknowledgedit for hell, man, like from a,
from a sprained ankle that turnsinto a full on stress fracture
(17:00):
that turns into a full on break.You know damn well you could
have prevented that. Just get the fuck off your leg
to you blowing up on your spouseor on your children or a junior
Marine at work. And trust me, I've been there.
I've been there. Overstimulated, stressed out,
definitely got a lot on my plate.
And here come a Lance Corporal about to ask me some bullshit
(17:21):
and he bout to get the worst response ever.
Ain't my proudest moment. But at the exact same time, I
was just burnt out. I was just overworked and I
didn't say no. So that's just one piece of what
it looks like. But at the end of the day, man,
and I cannot stress this enough,when you constantly are
neglecting taking care of yourself, that's exactly what it
(17:41):
is. When you're constantly
neglecting taking care of yourself, obviously eventually
you going to have an entry. You don't have an outburst, you
don't have a moment where you'relike, what the fuck am I doing?
But this is where I'm at now. So we have to understand that
this isn't soft man. Like this isn't soft.
This is actually mandatory. You have to be able to take care
(18:03):
of yourself, especially if you are high functioning individual,
especially if you are in a leadership position, especially
if you fucking the head of a household, especially if you got
people that are dependent on you.
How the fuck, how the fuck, as as a provider, as a as a leader,
as a boss man, as so many thingsto so many people and you're not
(18:25):
taking care of yourself. And then when you fucking fall
on your face, you're with what are you going to expect somebody
else to get up and do it? Are you expecting somebody else
to come and help you? Brother, you have to help
yourself. You got to take care of
yourself. All right, So now that we don't
talked about the misconception, we don't talked about what what
(18:46):
the steps could look like. We also even talked about the
neglect. Let's just redefine this shit,
all right, One thing that you got to understand self-care is
just you taking care of yourself, bro.
You can do that anyway. It could be done anyway.
It does not have to be like thissage super social media ish
routine. It does not all right, but I
will tell you this First things first is that you got to change
(19:08):
the way that you talk about it, all right?
It ain't soft. You ain't being a bitch.
You ain't being weak. You ain't being any of these,
you ain't being feminine or anything like that.
When you taking care of yourself, you are making sure
that you are still functional. The same way that you would make
sure that your car had an oil change.
The same way that you would check you would get new tires if
they get balled out, the same way that you would change the
(19:29):
fluids out, the same way that you would change a light bulb
out. You taking care of yourself so
that way you can continue to keep using yourself as long as
possible, as long as you can stay in the game.
So when we redefine what self-care is, especially that
another extraordinary thought. Understand you are not a bitch,
OK, You are not soft. Don't forget the head on over to
(19:51):
your favorite platform. That's Apple podcast or Spotify
podcast and even this podcast are honest review because this
podcast deserves to grow just asmuch as we do.
Also don't forget to head on over to TikTok or Instagram and
follow me at Meech speaks. That's right, Meech speaks.
Meech is spelled M EE Ch Stay motivated, stay healthy.
I'm out.
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