THANKSGIVING RULES 101 | The Unspoken Holiday Rules Everybody Needs to Hear

It’s Thanksgiving 101 — the annual Talkin’ Crazy tradition.

Every year somebody ruins the holiday, so I broke down the real rules: who can cook, who can’t, pet owners in the kitchen, bad kids, bathroom etiquette, and the politics of the first plate vs seconds.

This is the episode you listen to while cooking, driving, or avoiding your family for five minutes.

Funny, real, and painfully accurate.

Comment on Spotify: What’s YOUR #1 Thanksgiving rule?

Let our sponsor BetterHelp connect you to a therapist who can support you - all from the comfort of your own home. 

Visit https://betterhelp.com/meechspeaks 

and enjoy a special discount on your first month.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
What is wrong with you bro? What is wrong with me?
What is wrong with you? Why would you come to my house,
right? You know that's been brewing in
your stomach peasy. You know that that was brewing
in your stomach. And you said, you know what?
I'm a shit when I get to Mitch'shouse.

(00:34):
This episode is sponsored by Better Help.
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(00:55):
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(01:16):
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Visit betterhelp.com/meech Speaks and enjoy a special
discount on your first month. What's going on, everybody?

(01:44):
It's that ordinary podcaster with the extraordinary thoughts
that tells you to stop being great and be extraordinary.
I'm Demetrius Thicke and also known as Meetspeed.
So welcome back to another episode of the Talking Crazy
podcast. Now before we get started with
this podcast, don't forget to head on over to your favorite
streaming platform, whether that's Apple podcast, Spotify
podcast, and leave this podcast an honest review because this

(02:04):
podcast deserves to grow just asmuch as we do.
Now before we get started, ladies and gentlemen, y'all
already know I've done it last year.
I did it the year before that, Idid it the year before that, and
I've been doing it since I've actually started podcasting.
What started it as a series of Instagram stories has now
evolved into a episode for one of my most favorite holidays.

(02:28):
Now I know what a lot of people thinking.
Oh, I don't like Thanksgiving because you know, you know,
Thanksgiving is a a holiday about genocide.
Shut the fuck up, all right? All right?
Like then like, like, like, like, like, shut it up, all
right? The reason why you don't like
Thanksgiving is because your grandmother in her 40s, OK?
And she can't cook. That's the reason why.

(02:49):
All right, For those who don't understand, Thanksgiving is
probably one of my most favoriteholidays because of the simple
fact that I was born on Thanksgiving, all right?
Big Wanda went to the hospital and gave birth to Demetrius
Thigman. So Thanksgiving has always just
been one of my holidays that just is real close to me.
Now the main another reason why I love Thanksgiving is the

(03:10):
simple fact of how the family comes together.
You know what I mean? Like I love just seeing all the
food. I love seeing the spread.
I love just seeing the love in the room.
I don't even give a fuck if we dressed up and we bought to sit
in the living room. I just love seeing it man.
Like it just brings something tothe table, you know, now today's
episode is a little bit special,all right, because we got a

(03:30):
special guest and and to be honest with you, I don't even
know if I can even keep saying special guest when I mention
him. All right, but got my brother
here once again. All right, PZ is back on the
show for another episode. And this time this is like one
of my favorite episodes. I actually been excited looking
forward to this. And and PZ go ahead, talk to the

(03:52):
people. Man, what's going on?
So I know you brought me here sowe could battle, but I got to
ask a favor right quick. What's up?
I need to, I need to make an adjustment on my phone and I
don't want you to be mad at me. Go ahead and do what you got to
do. I got to put on DND.
Alright, hold on. Must wipe down.

(04:12):
Right, go ahead, do what you gotto do.
Alright, am I back now? Yeah, you're back and it's
clear. OK bro, yeah, I had it.
I had it on like I had a when I could not interrupt the intro.

(04:34):
How do y'all do that? Y'all have the same intro.
We don't want to talk about the offline.
We're going to talk about all because you it's like the same
thing. I thought it was a prerecorded,
but I'm happy to be here. So I know you brought me on here
to argue and and I'm ready bro. You know, I, I got I got that
thing on me. So we can we can start this off
right. Not for anybody that's new to

(04:55):
Thanksgiving. one-on-one, all right?
Thanksgiving one-on-one is just basic tips and tricks that I
always pass out for the holiday,you know what I mean?
And this time around, you know, me and PZ are going to sit down.
We're going to draft up the whole list.
We started from the guests to the dishes that need to get
brought to the dishes as a wholeto just overall conduct at
Thanksgiving, you know what I mean?

(05:15):
Now, the first thing that we gotto talk about, you know, is is
just who's coming, all right nowyou got families and you also
got single people. All right now, PC, I'm going to
just say this real quick. If you a family of four, you got
to bring a dish 100%. You got to bring a dish.
All right, now you said something.
Now you said something even better.
You said I said that they shouldbring a dish of four.

(05:37):
You said bring a dish that could.
Feed eight. Yeah, Yes, bro.
Listen, you we if I cook something and I'm bringing three
other people with me, most likely we are going to eat it.
So if I bring a dish for poor people, we are going to eat the
own our own dish. Right now me, I like trying
other stuff and Max and Maxi matching and mixing, right?

(06:02):
But then there's certain stuff like I don't like, which I can't
wait to get into that topic. Like certain stuff I'm just not
going to touch because I just don't enjoy it like that.
But now you got to be able to spread and and pass food to
everybody. So 100% I think you should
actually be able to double up for however many people you are
bringing. You know, now this is the thing
though, and I will say this realquick, all right?
It's a big difference. All right?

(06:23):
Now, if I invite you over to Thanksgiving, all right, if you
are family, OK, And that that means that you gonna bring
somebody that's either like yourspouse, wife, baby Mama and you
got kids, you coming with? All right, You got to bring a
dish, you feel me? Now, the dish ain't got to be
the star of the show. I'm not about to ask you to
bring the Turkey. I'm not asking you to bring the

(06:45):
damn ham, you feel me? I'm not even asking you to bring
the macaroni and cheese. And that's something we going to
talk about, you feel me? But I'm asking you to bring some
shit that we we all could eat. Now, I will say this real quick,
all right? If you got one of them secret
recipes, I'm going to need you to go ahead and write down key
ingredients that are going to beon that motherfucker, you feel
me? Because what I ain't about to

(07:05):
have is a fucking allergic reaction because you want to
spice it for Thanksgiving, you know, but peasy.
I'm going to say this though. I'm going to say this.
If you are family and you got a pet, you are automatically
disqualified from bringing a dish.
You're automatically disqualified from bringing a
homemade. Dish, you can't say that because
that only applies to certain people that don't apply to

(07:27):
everybody. Just hear me out of Peasy I.
Think I know where you're takingthis?
OK, go ahead, Go ahead. Just hear me out, man, because
it's my thing though. You ever been around somebody
that got dogs in the house? You feel me?
Motherfuckers letting a dog kissthem in their mouth and shit
like that. They about to brain that to
what? What with Thanksgiving?
How is it still funny And it's the third time I heard this bro

(07:48):
you. Feel me imagine bro like a
motherfucker saying like hey, I'm a brain this you feel me?
You don't been to their house before peace you been to their
house. The dog be hopping up and shit
on you when you walk through thedough.
If the dog hop up on you when you walk through the dough, that
means that he kissed that dog inthe mouth.
And if he kissed that dog in themouth, that means the spoon that

(08:10):
he tastes that fucking dish with.
The dog then tasted that fuckingdish with.
You don't ruin the food, man. I don't want to think about that
shit, man God. You see what I'm saying?
You're not lying though. Now there's another thing
though, but you got to keep a I'm just be honest with you.
If you a cat owner, all right, If you a cat owner, you is
fucking disqualified from fucking cooking a meal and

(08:32):
bringing it. From even coming Why do you even
need them there? There's no point for them to be
there. They they can stay home, you
know. Because cats climb on the
fucking counter. You see what I'm saying?
The cats climb on the counters, bro.
Like, and this is my thing is, is that imagine like the the cat
then climb climbed on the counter.
You don't cut up onions, you feel me?
You think that you cooking in the kitchen, meanwhile the cat

(08:54):
fucking licking his ass right next to the Turkey and you think
that you about to bring that. You think you about to bring
that to my house? No, no.
You feel me? And cat hairs get everywhere
too. They they like, float around the
house. They shed like crazy.
Hell no. So, so, so.

(09:14):
And I'm not saying that you can't bring a dish, but what I
am saying is that you got to cook that motherfucker here.
You gonna have to just cook thathere.
You family, you gonna have to just cook that here.
So that way I can see it. And this is the thing that a lot
of people don't know about me. I'm actually a cat owner, all
right? I actually got 2 cats.
You can't. You can't.

(09:35):
That's. Why wait, wait, that's.
Why you look at me like they like, hold on, man.
That's no, you can't come to your own party.
Hell no. Hear me out.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Just hear me out. Just hear me out, OK?
Just hear me out on Thanksgivingon on Thanksgiving, I put the

(09:56):
motherfuckers up in a cage, all right?
And the reason why is because I already know that they already
fighting demons, you know what Imean?
So I just put them in a cage. So the whole Thanksgiving, the
motherfucker's been locked up, you know what I mean?
Because I can't have the food inthere, you know what I mean?
The food already out, the cat trying to walk around and shit
like that. Nah, bro, you, you, you in a
cage? Are you locked in the bathroom?

(10:17):
You know what I mean? So, so, so, so I already deal
with that peasy. I already deal with that.
So. So because I know about it, I
make sure that nobody else do that.
See, you, you put the loophole in and you just, you just decide
to have everything at your houseso you can control the
narrative. See, now we know who you really
are. No, no.
So I can control the animal. Damn.

(10:41):
Wow. Now, I will say this, though, if
you a single person and you get invited, more than likely you've
been there. I've been there.
You know what I mean? We invite like, our junior
Marines to our house, You know, I know your family is somewhere
XY and Z in Alaska. Go ahead, pull up on me.
You know what I mean? You only in charge of bringing,
like, simple shit, you know, paper plates.

(11:02):
All right, napkins, Forks, liquor.
All right, now, now, I'm gonna just say this real quick, OK?
Depending on who at the household is 2 bottles.
Exactly like you have two bottles of liquor, You feel me?
But depending on what the bottleis.
All right, I'm gonna tell you, you it's you.
It's just best that you just ask.
You in charge of bringing simpleshit like charcoal grease.

(11:27):
That's what you in charge of, All right, We are.
We know you. You, we know you can't cook.
We know that you ain't got the means for cooking.
So we ain't about to ask you to bring something that's like
important, you feel me? And we ask you to bring shit
that even if you did show up late, nobody going to be missing
out. Like even though I told you to
bring the plates, I already bought plates, you feel me?

(11:47):
Already got plates. These are just extra.
I'm telling you to bring chips, all right?
I'm telling you to bring dip. I'm not telling you to bring
some important bring a couple ofPatty pies.
I don't care. We need to make sure that you're
not that important. That's so definitely what you're
trying to say. I'm a feed you.
You know what I mean? I'm a feed you.

(12:08):
But, but, but you know that you don't need to bring some shit.
Now, don't come up to me talkingabout, Yeah, my family got a
secret dish that I want to bring.
No, no, no, no. We ain't doing that.
We're not even about to do that because you're not even go fuck
up that recipe, all right? You're not even about to do
that. Now, I will say this, though, if
you bring a date, right, like ifyou bring a date to

(12:28):
Thanksgiving, you better make sure that that date is fucking
friendly, all right? And I'll say that again because
I don't know who need to hear this.
If you bring a date, all right? You got to make sure the date's
friendly, peasy if I invite you to Thanksgiving, right?
OK. And you come, you bring
somebody. Me and this person better be

(12:51):
able to have a fucking conversation.
You can't bring somebody into mydamn house.
And that motherfucker don't liketalking to people.
I'm going to be looking at you like this.
So you don't like talking to people?
Peasies. Like she, she, she, she better
than us. Is that what this is like?
She, she, she better than us? Peasy.
All right, So, so, so, so you got to bring that.

(13:13):
Got to have manners. Got to have manners, you know?
No meets you you in a row right now.
Keep going. I only got one more piece and I
promise I'm gonna let you go. You fear me.
Is is that if you somebody that bring like, you know, and and
I'm gonna just be honest with you Puerto Ricans, I'm talking
to y'all. Oh, no.
So if you Puerto Rican, I need you to listen to this episode.

(13:36):
That conquito shit that y'all bebringing can't come in my
household. It can't.
All right. Oh, you.
Drink. Oh my God, what you why are you
looking at me like that? Like ohh you drink that?
Why? Why you sound like that?
You know what? That's because, because you
don't know the background to it.That's why you know what it is,

(13:58):
is that you don't know the background.
What's the background? What's the?
Tell me to give me a lesson. Go ahead. 2017 Thanksgiving now
now The thing is that I've always hosted Thanksgiving.
I've been hosting Thanksgiving for the past decade.
I have 3 Thanksgivings that I, I, I can honestly say that I
have not been able to be a part of all right.
The reason why is because I was passed out drunk.

(14:20):
I was sick or you know, you know, I was just deployed one of
them Thanksgivings, right, 2017.I had AI had a friend.
He bring his wife, all right, His wife's Puerto Rican.
She brings some Conquito. You feel me?
I'm pretty sure I'm saying this wrong.
Now, this is the thing, PZ, if you can't tell, I drink dark
liquor, all right, Crown Royal, Jack Daniels, Hennessy.

(14:43):
You know dark liquor, all right.I didn't know what conquito got
in it. I don't know what it has in it.
So when she came over, it has rum.
But this is the thing I thought rum was dark liquor.
There is a dark version of rum. Well, the the rum that she put
in there was not dark. They're trying to kill you.

(15:06):
Peasy when I tell you I asked too, I asked you know what I
mean? Like I asked.
I said hey what y'all put in this and she said oh it's a
family recipe. I said bitch.
I said I can't believe you. I can't fucking believe you.
I drunk a cup of that peasy whenI tell you I only had a cup of
it, dog, I only had a cup of it.That shit had me so fucked up.

(15:30):
I was throwing up next to the Turkey.
I'm throwing up outside. They had to like I passed out.
They brought me downstairs so I can do this speech.
Bro, I don't even remember Thanksgiving.
I said I'll never deal with thisshit again.
I'll never deal with this shit again.
Y'all going to do that to me on my favorite holiday?

(15:51):
I'll send you the pictures. Bro.
I look like a mess. You could tell you.
You can look at my face and tellthat I'm gone.
You could. You could look at my face and
tell that he's drunk. But what you got what you got
for the guests? What you got for the guests?
OK before I say that I just wantto know is there a lag on mine
or am I good? I'm good.

(16:15):
OK, I sent you a message. So these are my things.
First I want to go back. I want to circle back to
families. Right.
So families, if you if you bringa dish, y'all pretty much need
to be sick of the dish you ate and just just be ready to give
that to everybody. Just be ready not to, you know
what I mean? Just don't be, don't be like,

(16:35):
oh, don't be hovering over your dish.
This is for everybody else like this have that common courtesy.
I'm pretty sure you can make more at home.
Put some on the side for y'all, right?
That's what I that's what I try to do.
Second, single people, single people, I want 2 bottles.
You bring in 2 bottles, right? You bring in 2 bottles of
Hennessy, You bring in 2 bottlesof something above $40.00.

(16:57):
So I know you didn't try to playme.
Hit me with the Mccormick's vodka, the gallon nasty.
You know what I mean? I don't want none of the
housemaker. Don't bring that over here
because I'm a feel disrespected.You walk every day, right?
Because you didn't even try right So bring bring 2 bottles
so we could tap the one that youbrought and I could put the
other one on the shelf for later.
You know what I mean how to put that That's just hey, thank you

(17:18):
for having me right? Thank you for having me.
You know, appreciate y'all this for y'all later, right.
Another thing. So as as far as pets, when we
first started talking about it, I thought she's about to talk
about that episode on Good times.
Now I know that's way, way back.And talking about the dog food,

(17:39):
yes, peasy me. You only like a couple of years
apart. We only like a couple of years
apart, Bros. And listen, listen, I know it.
Don't say it like that. It's really probably like 2.
It's not even that serious so. Yeah, that's a couple.
That's a couple years. But you made it sound like a
couple sounds like a lot. OK, I know it's two.
A couple is 2. I didn't like how you said it,

(17:59):
all right? I didn't like the tone, all
right. Listen, several, several was a
lot me and you literally like meand me and you was like, if we
was in high school, I probably would have been like a grade or
two behind you. Where you where you graduate?
O89 right No O 8. Seven you right behind me, you
see, see I. Was right, you see what I'm
saying? Like like if me and you grew up

(18:20):
in the same house, so you would be like that you you'd be my
mama's sister that came over youfed me like like you know you,
you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Like you my mama's sister, you know that cousin that come over
that'd be playing my game and shit like that.
You know what I mean? Telling me wait till I get to
high school, like as if like you've been a World War Two or
something like wait till I get to high school.

(18:41):
Like what? Like what the fuck?
I hate when peasy come over. God, I hate when peasy come
over. Then you then then you go look
at me and tell me that I'm you spending the night and I'm like,
no, you not. Well, I already asked your Mama
and your Mama said that it was OK.
I got a cousin like that. I got a cousin like that.

(19:01):
So, so so so we that close in age.
OK, so bringing it back to the episode of Good Times where the
lady was making food and everybody with it when it was
avoiding the food because they thought she was making it with
dog food, right? That's how I thought you was
going with that. I don't mind pet people.
For real. Like I was joking.
Just don't bring them. I don't like pets in my house,

(19:22):
bro. Oh.
Oh. Absolutely.
I don't. Mess with that.
We got to just say that right real quick peasy, like like if
you a pet, if you how do I say this?
If you one of those people that say like I'm a dog mom, all
right, I'm a dog parent. OK, Christopher Columbus, you're
not that fucking animals parent.But anyways, if you one of those
like you get wrong going, you really, but if you a pet parent,

(19:46):
your your aunt, your pet can't come.
You know what I mean? Like, like I don't, I don't only
got cats. You, you feel me like cat people
don't bring their cat to other people's houses.
You know what I mean? And you damn sure can't bring
your dog over here. So I I had to get that one out
there and I had to get that out there.
I I I got you. That's that's those are my, my

(20:08):
things, you know, bring, bring more and and don't bring no
pets. And if you, if you single, you
don't got to bring no food. Just bring the essentials, bring
the shit that if you don't show up, we ain't really going to
miss you. You know what I mean?
Like if we weren't relying on him to bring the Turkey, we
weren't relying on him to to bring mashed potatoes.
We were relying on him to bring Mac and cheese.

(20:30):
We're not giving him no big tick, no no filler.
The dish ain't going to be missing, you know what I mean?
Like the, the the feast ain't going to be missing something
because you decided to cancel last minute.
Yes, you know what I mean? Like like, like you brought shit
that we already had, Like bring one of them cheese platters.
What? The hell is that?
You ain't never had one of those.
Like like a cheese? What is the cheese?

(20:51):
Platter. Or or one of them, like chessary
boards. You know what I'm talking.
You know what? I'm talking like that with the
Cheshire. With the media, yeah.
Yeah, like one of the like the like the charcuterie boards.
Man look that's a whole bunch ofbullshit for Instagram so people
look like sophisticated. That shit is a cheap ass meal.

(21:13):
But go ahead and bring that though you feel me?
Because you said it's a cheap ass like.
You might as you might as well bring Lunchables.
Don't bring that shit to my man.Come on man, that shouldn't
pass. You ain't never been drinking
while you cooking and you just eat that.
You eat that as you go. You're not supposed to fill up
on that. You just supposed to eat that as
you go. Maybe I'm behind.
I'm. Sorry, Yeah, you supposed to eat

(21:35):
that as you go, Like like, hey, you ain't supposed to.
You ain't supposed to fill up onthat PV like that's supposed to
keep you from passing out when you're drunk.
You see how I'm looking at you right now?
If you come in the house with that, I'm going to be like, what
you doing? Like I'm just saying, all right,
hold on. I I ain't trying to shift real
quick, But can we talk about your top three dishes not to

(21:56):
bring the top three things you don't want people to bring?
All right, top three dishes thatI can't, you can't bring man #1
string bean casserole right out the gate, bro.
What? What are you gasping for?
Are you serious? That's a filler.
It's you're not supposed to eat.It's supposed to it's It's for

(22:17):
color on the plate. You won't like string green.
What? What?
What do you mean like, like, like, like?
It looked like somebody threw upin there.
No it don't bro. It don't look like that.
You it look like cat food. Alright, so my next ditch.
You look, you're a little bit right on that, but it's I just

(22:39):
don't like how you said it. Go ahead.
Next one. What's the next one?
My next one is always going to be stuffing alright.
Like, there's no reason why there's a big difference between
dressing and stuffing. There's a big.
Difference between I was going to say stuffing.
I'm mad you took it. I hate stuffing.
Really. I hate stuffing.
It just take up space. It's like it don't it's bread.

(22:59):
I I don't like it bro. It's wet bread.
It's wet too. Like if you've ever had somebody
have stuffing, bro. Like it's a big difference
between dressing and stuffing stuff.
Dressing is damn near cornbread,but it's got other shit in it,
you know what I mean? Stuffing was never posed to be
anything all right either, honestly.
Yeah, either. But stuffing, definitely.

(23:21):
I get mad when they put that on my plate because I have to.
I have to walk by a trash can and throw it in there because
I'm not eating that. I don't like it.
I don't like. Go ahead, I'm going to tell you
right now. You going to hear my plate
crumble up and then I'm going tothrow it in.
Don't be in there. Is you going to hear my plate
crumble up first and then I'm going to throw it in there, you
know, You know what I mean? Like I, I don't, I don't, I
don't do that. I don't even do that.

(23:42):
All right. And then most importantly, my
like dishes. And now these are dishes you
said that guests cannot bring orjust dishes that can't be on
Thanksgiving. Now you don't know that that you
are going to stay away from because people going to bring
what they bring sometimes. Sometimes you just need stuff
there for the aesthetics. Like, look, we got green bean
casserole, we got stuffing. Like, you know what I mean?

(24:03):
Easy Brussels sprouts. Damn.
Yeah. Wait, hold on.
Like they're not even that bad bro.
Yeah, if you on a diet peasy like like, like if you they're
not that bad. If you trying to cut like yeah
Brussels sprouts are great but that's not a Thanksgiving dish.

(24:25):
This is my theory on Brussels sprouts.
It got a bad name because back in the 90s all the TV shows were
like, EW, Brussels sprouts. I I actually, if you put some
garlic on them, I'll eat some things.
Hey, look, look, you brought me on here.
I'm telling you the truth, all right?
If you OK, fine, fine, bro. You don't want them.
I'm just saying that's fine. That's more for me.
I eat Brussels sprouts. Go, go, go for it.

(24:47):
I promise you, man. I'm gonna walk right by that.
I'm gonna walk right. I'm gonna ask too.
I'm gonna be like, who brought what?
What is this? They're gonna be like, it's
Brussels sprouts. I'm be like this, OK, Thank you.
And I'm gonna just skip over that.
And I'm gonna skip over that, bro.
Like, Nah, Nah, Nah. Speaking of skipping over, you
know what I mean? Now we let's go back to the
families real quick, all right? Because usually, you know, I'm a

(25:08):
father. I got 4 kids, you know what I
mean? PZ, you got you got you.
You, you me. Wait, me, you got about the
same. You got 4 kids too.
All right, So you understand this just as much as I do.
OK, I don't know who need to hear this, but if you got bad
kids, you are you uninvited, allright?
Like you, you uninvited. PZ.

(25:28):
You already know exactly how I feel about that, bro, because
you've been in that situation. You ain't never you ain't never
had a motherfucker show up to your house.
They cool, but they he is bad asfuck.
Like the kids bad like, like, like, and I don't know who need
to hear this. I don't even like kids, bro.
Like I don't even like kids. I like my kids.
You feel me? I like my kids because they're

(25:50):
my kids, but I don't even be liking kids like that.
Like, like, what am I going to say to a child?
You know what I mean? So if you got bad kids, like you
can't be here, man. Like you already terrorizing my
motherfucking animals, you feel me?
You stressing my kids out, you tearing a room up, You know what
I mean? And you trying to act oblivious

(26:11):
like this. A trampoline part, bro.
Like you can't bring them kids in my fucking house and then on
top of that PC, and I'm going tojust say this bro, because I
don't know who need to hear this.
The kids got to stay out of the kitchen.
They can't go in the kitchen. They can't even be in the dining
area where the adults at. Oh yeah, that's too easy.

(26:32):
It's supposed to be outside, so it's time to eat.
Come on now, you, you feel me? I've always stayed next to a
park for a reason. Great.
Give him his fucking coat and send him on his way, all right?
Give him a map of the area and just tell him good luck out
there, all right? Because he can't.
He can't keep. And this is the thing though,

(26:53):
PZ, he can't keep running in andout of the house.
They can't keep running out of the house, bro, You know what I
mean? Me and you stay somewhere where
it's year round, no flies outside.
You feel me? So.
So he letting all that fucking good air come out, you know what
I mean? And he letting flies in the
house, motherfucker, He got a a If you go out there, you out

(27:13):
there. If you come in, you done.
So, so my aunt, so listen, rightas a kid, I had my grandma, my
granddaddy, and then I had I hadone uncle and he had four
sisters, my mom and my aunts. And what they used to do is we
either could be outside the house or inside, but if we was

(27:35):
inside, we was cleaning. So me and I'm from Miami, so me
and all my cousins, we were outside hot as hell 'cause we
didn't want to be in the house cleaning.
I'm telling you right now, doll,like the kids can't be in the
house, man, and this is my problem is is that see, The
thing is, is that I don't know how you raise your children.

(27:56):
You feel me? We have an adult conversations
in the house. You feel me?
You don't know what we talking about.
We talking about parlays, We talking about bitches.
We talking about marriage, We talking about relationships.
Your kid can't jump in this conversation.
These adult like I I never understood.
My Mama said when she when she said grown folks conversation.
This a grown folks conversation.You feel me?

(28:18):
This a grown folks conversation?Go ahead.
Yeah, you got it. So I look at I give people like
one shot with their kids around me and I observe.
I'm very I, I do, I do judge, right?
Because I feel like you should be able to give your kids a
look. Yeah.
That look and they know what time it is.

(28:39):
Like, hey, I agree, hey. Hey, come here.
I know I just told you don't do that shit again, right?
You could you could lower your voice and that just strikes like
I don't want to say fear for certain people that listen, I
won't say discipline. It just reawakens the discipline
in them, right. But when I see people that don't
have that and it gets like, no, mom, no, I'm like, you know what

(29:03):
I'm saying? I can't it just it just do slick
your face. It just do that to me.
I just I'm. Just hey, I'm gonna just say
this real quick, PZ Lie, lie, lie.
Like you should be able to look at your kids and be like.
Mm, hmm. Mm hmm.
We eyes get big. Yeah, Meech.
And gone. Hey.
I am. I am in my.

(29:23):
I'm in my mid 30s and my dad, mydad can look at me to this day
and I'll it's something in me like I know I can take him.
I know I can beat him all that he old, but it's something in
me, man. It's just there.
It's just there. Never go away.
You know what I mean? Like, and this is my thing is,

(29:46):
is that you kid ain't about to be jumping in and out of our
conversations. You feel me?
But the most important thing is the kid can't be in the kitchen.
It's too many moving parts in the kitchen peasy.
Like it's too many moving parts.We pulling shit out of the oven.
We putting things in the oven. We put things on the skillet.
We chopping and you talking about he playing.

(30:08):
He playing peasy. I almost stepped on the child 1
Thanksgiving. I almost stepped on the child.
Little little motherfucker come running behind me as I'm pulling
something out the oven. All right, like, like, like I
had to look at somebody. What?
What? What would I do?

(30:29):
It's some I feel like you fight a kid, man.
Something wrong with you, man. You're not, You're not up there.
I feel like you're with a jet. Easy, I promise you.
Right now, look, look, look, look, look, look, look.
If a child show up in the kitchen, that's fair game.
All right, All right. Now, I keep a sign on the door.
I'll always keep a sign on the door.

(30:50):
All right, on Thanksgiving, let people know like, hey, before
you come in this house, understand that martial law runs
deep in this house, OK? All right, I'm not about to yell
at my child for some shit that your child also contribute to,
OK? I'm yelling at everybody.
OK, Belt come off now. Like when the belt come off.
All right? That belt, you, you, you, you

(31:12):
feel me? Like, like the belt come off for
everybody. OK, So so if you don't want to
deal with that, deal with your kid, you feel me?
Deal with your child already. OK, the belt only coming off
because I got to deal with everybody.
But if you deal with your kid, then I ain't got to worry about
that, you feel me? I just got to deal with mine.

(31:32):
I just got to deal with mine. But but but you got to deal with
your kid now, I don't know who need to hear this.
All right, If you got a baby, you feel me?
And, and, and, and, and any kid that's still shitting in a
diaper is constituted as a baby to me.
I don't give a fuck if that motherfucker talking, all right,
I don't care. All right, if he, if he go #1
and #2 in a diaper, that's a baby, All right, There's a trash

(31:56):
can outside for that, OK, Don't put that, don't put that dirty
diaper in one of my upstairs bathrooms.
Don't put that dirty diaper. Don't put that dirty diaper in
the kitchen. I'm a hand you a bag and tell
you to go outside. Hell yeah, that should be

(32:20):
automatic. That's automatic.
A lot of people will put that they they'll put the diaper
upstairs and be like, oh, you know, like what you mean?
And then I find it three days later wondering why the whole
upstairs smell like shit. Absolutely not.
Hell no. You feel me?
It's them people meet you. Now, PZ as we own guests, as we

(32:42):
get off guests. You fear me.
I'm a, say this man. And I just want to see where
your head is at. OK?
I just want to see where your head's at.
Dinner. All right?
When dinner is finally served, right, Like when dinner is
finally served, you cannot look.Let me rephrase that.
You cannot eat until everything is done.

(33:04):
Everything has to be done prior to you trying to make a plate.
And I bring this up easy becauseI remember one time I'm cooking,
man, this motherfucker walk in the kitchen.
I pulled the macaroni and cheeseout the oven.
You feel me? I pulled the Mac out the oven
and and he had a plate in his hand.
I said, what you doing with that?

(33:24):
He said, man, look, I got to, you know, I got to make the kids
a plate. I said, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. We still got meat on the grill.
What you talking about? You got to make the kids a
plate. He's like, well, you know the
kids is hungry. I was like, I don't give a fuck.
I don't give a fuck if the kids starving, you better take them
down to McDonald's. You fed me.
We, we, we, we still cooking. Well, you can't, you can't do

(33:48):
that. You can't start eating bits and
pieces of the meal. We got to take a picture of the
food. You going to mess up the
aesthetics? You, you see what I'm saying?
Like I got to see the full spread like that ain't about to
happen. You have you don't have gaps in
the food. Now, now that we done with the
guests, bro, let's roll right oninto, like, food, all right?

(34:10):
Like things. What?
What are some things that's going on your menu?
I already know. Turkey ham.
Yeah, those got to go, right? Yeah.
So I'm, I'm, I like ham more than I like Turkey.
I think Turkey is more symbolic.OK, yeah.
I mean, because it's Thanksgiving, personally.
Yes, Turkey is dry. You know, Turkey is the is the

(34:32):
purest form of protein because it don't have a lot of fat
depending on the parts you cut. But I like ham more with I I
like pineapple on my ham and theand the glaze.
I like that. I like that.
I like that that's me. So on my plate, I like I need
greens. I need collard greens.

(34:52):
Come on now. I like that.
I need collard greens, OK? Me being from Florida, me being
from Florida, we do Black Eyed Peas, OK?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's still. That's still, yeah.
We do Black Eyed Peas, collard greens, cornbread.
I don't like the dry cornbread. I don't like my cornbread

(35:15):
country crunchy. I like it.
I like it moist paws, no ditty. I like the cornbread moist,
right? And then after that, so we got,
we got meat, we got greens, we got carbs and we got beans.
I'm trying to think and I like. I like sweet potatoes.

(35:38):
Alright, now it could be. One or two things.
It can be candy yams. Right.
Candy yams or it can be sweet potatoes like so it could be
like the almost like the not like when you mash it.
So I can get candy and straight up or I can get sweet potatoes.
Mash one or the other, right? Because that that I told you
sweet. In there now you talking about

(36:00):
marshmallows on yours or Nah? I could eat that.
I'm cool with that. It don't bother me.
And that don't bother me. That don't bother me as long as
it don't mix. As long as it don't mix into
like the Mac and cheese or something I'm good with, that's
me. It don't bother me, man.
It don't. Bother.
Look, look, look, look. If the yams and the Mac touch,
I'm fucking with it. You you see, I'm saying I'm all

(36:23):
about that. However, I will say this though,
the marshmallows don't do it forme.
The marshmallows never did it for me.
You feel me? I feel like that's more of a
dessert than it is anything. That's a presentation thing.
It's supposed to be on the top to make it look like you just
move that to the side. It's for the picture.
I mean, some of this stuff is isfor aesthetics.

(36:44):
Don't think. About that all.
OK, Will you eat the ham? Do you eat the ham with the
pineapple or do you eat the pineapple off and then eat the
ham? I eat the pineapple off with the
ham. No, you eat the pineapple first
and then you eat the ham, right?Right.
Yeah, I eat that. It's.
It's aesthetics. It it ain't really I need to mix
this. It's just for the look.

(37:06):
So you can get that one. They got the they got the
pineapple slice with the cherry in the middle.
Don't nobody got to argue. I need to eat this with all it's
aesthetics. So that's why it don't bother
me. And then and then last on my
plate, I got Mac and cheese and that's that's a that's an All
Star plate right there. You're going to, you're going to
sleep after that, you're going to die.
You're done. You're done, you feel me?

(37:28):
Now I'm going to say this real quick, all right, peasy, because
this is the things that are currently on my menu, All right?
Thanksgiving, because I'm hosting Thanksgiving again this
year. All right?
Ham, Turkey, Mac and cheese, yams, mashed potatoes, dressing,
corned beef. Wait, wait, wait.

(37:48):
Did I say? Did I say Mac and cheese?
Yep. Did I already say yams?
Yep. I said mashed potatoes.
Yep. OK.
I said corned beef. Yeah, corn.
You didn't ever have corned beef.
Yeah, I have. But for Thanksgiving?
I know it was wild. I know, I know it.
Was wild like it was was was that a one time thing like

(38:10):
corned beef? I just said fuck it.
I just said fuck it. Waffle House thing like what is
that like corned beef? No bro like not that type of
corned beef. Not corned beef hash, but like
you just got, you just got to bethere.
You just got to be there to see it you.
Got to be there. Take a picture of me.
I need to see this. Corn.
Oh, what else? What else?

(38:30):
Dressing collard greens? String beans?
All right, now you got to understand.
Plate, bro, like you see, see. OK, let me tell you where you
messing it up? What's up?
Your plate is is huge. Your plate is one of them.
What's that? What's that place?
One of them Golden Corral trays.You're talking about one plate.

(38:50):
So there's the first plate and then there's the secondary
plate. When you done with all that, you
doing too much. Bro that's the problem.
I'm a fill. Trust me, trust me, trust me
I've. Done this.
Ain't nothing going to be left like you being.
See, that's the shit we talking.About I got to bro.
I don't I don't make the whole spread, you know what I mean?
But this is my thing though, PZ And I got to say this, all

(39:11):
right? There's three things on this
menu that can be that are non negotiables, all right?
There are three things that are non negotiables, all right?
If you're hosting Thanksgiving, more than likely you're doing
the Turkey, nobody else. You're not waiting on a fucking
Turkey. If you're for Thanksgiving,
that's impossible. All right, My Turkey's sitting

(39:33):
in the refrigerator thawing out right now.
You signed up for that? Yep.
When you have people over, you signed up for that.
You feel me? If you are hosting, you don't
have to do the ham though the ham can come the.
Ham easy though. Yeah, yeah.
You see what I'm saying? The ham anybody.
Nobody can fuck up a ham. Yeah.

(39:55):
I think ham is more about ham and Turkey is all presentation.
Like if it was up to me, I wouldcook the ham and a Turkey
because all you got to do is cook it, carve it, and then
everybody else bring everything else.
You feel me? You.
Know what I mean? You don't got to that other
stuff is harder because the other other stuff gets grated
harder because you put gravy on Turkey and you good.
You put honey on ham and you good.

(40:16):
It's going. It all tastes the same.
It's just symbolic. You put the yams with the with
the ham you straight you good. You good with the Mac and cheese
and the ham you solid, you good.Now I'll say this right now, Mac
and. Cheese to get you judged.
There it is right there. The next one right now is the
Mac and cheese. Ain't no fucking guest can bring

(40:36):
a Mac and cheese without a reference, all right?
That means like like lights, like peasy.
Hear me out, bro, hear me out. All right, I usually do the Mac
and cheese because my Mac and cheese is usually undefeated
when it come down to this, all right, like I always do the Mac
and cheese because my Mac and cheese got history and it got
references behind this. The same Mac and cheese that my

(40:58):
great, great, great, great grandmother been cooking.
You feel me? So it ain't I, I ain't I ain't
deteriorated from from the fucking deep.
There it is. I haven't deviated from the
recipe. All right.
How? But this my thing though, PZ is

(41:22):
that you can't volunteer and sayI'm a brain the macaroni and
cheese if you have never fuckinggoddamn had a reference.
You see, I'm saying like if yourMac and cheese don't got, at
least you got to bring a sample macaroni and cheese.
You cannot sit there and say, yo, your husband is not a
fucking goddamn reference. Your wife is not a reference.

(41:43):
Your kids are not a fucking. They just try dare to say it
again, say it again. They just trying to fucking
survive. You know what I mean?
They're not references. I need real references for you
to say that this macaroni and cheese is solid.
I had somebody do that shit man.And one time I was hosting
Thanksgiving and I invited my next door neighbors.

(42:04):
I said hey man, y'all can go ahead and pull up.
She said I'm going to bring the Mac and cheese.
I said what? Everybody told her.
They said Nah, you ain't got to bring that Mac man.
Like you know, Meech got it. She said ain't no man out
cooking me. I said, look, Nah, all right.
These were these recipes that I have in my pockets right now,
OK? Come from three generations, all

(42:27):
right? You ain't going to stand a
fucking chance with me, all right, Peasy.
She brought a macaroni and cheese.
That motherfucker sat in a bowl like this, just sat up.
I knew it was bullshit when she put the lumen like she put like
some Saran wrap over it and the Mac never moved.

(42:47):
So what Saran wrap? You see what I'm saying bro?
What? Like, like it just didn't do
what it was supposed to do. People go to jail for bringing,
fights start. Police get called when when you
bring, you know, fucked up Mac and cheese.
You can't do that, because that's essential.

(43:08):
We've been waiting the macaroni and cheese going to go with
everything dog. And you telling me, you going to
sit there and tell me that you have found you a TikTok recipe.
You found this fucking recipe onPinterest and you And that's
another thing, man. Like Mike was the one that
brought this up, dog. Like MM brought this up.
He said, look, man, if you haven't perfected the recipe,

(43:29):
now you ain't going to be able to make it.
He said it just like that. If you haven't perfected the
recipe now, you're not going to be able to make it.
If. You feel me and Mike, a chef.
So it's one of the moments whereit's like, if you haven't
perfected your macaroni and cheese recipe, don't worry, you
got next year, you got next year, you got a lot of holidays.
You got Christmas, you got New Year's, you got motherfucking

(43:51):
God damn Saint Patrick's Day. You got Valentine's Day, you got
God damn, you got a lot of holidays to bring this Mac
around. By Thanksgiving, you have been,
you have received the ominous dominus.
And, and this is the thing though, you know, this ain't the
time for you to be trying to bring us something that you
ain't never brought. And this a lot of, and this

(44:13):
something that a lot of people don't understand PZ, is that the
Mac is not something that gets made at the other house that got
made here, that had to get made here.
You know what I mean? I know exactly what you mean.
You know what I mean? Like, like, like you have to
make the macaroni and cheese at the place that you at.

(44:34):
You brought this stuff with you.Live.
It has to be done live. It has to be done live.
You can't sit there and tell me that you made this macaroni and
cheese at show house and now youbringing it here like like so
that means that you made the Maclike I'll say like a couple of
hours ago, like how dare you? How fucking dare you?

(44:58):
Hey, man, like I said, you, you,if you feel that if people are
relying, do you really want thatpressure on you?
You want that stress where everybody's relying on your Mac
and cheese? I don't want that stress on me
because I could, I could go to the bathroom for extra 5-10
minutes or go outside and talk some shit and forget something
and now I've ruined everything. You know what I'm saying?

(45:20):
Like, that's not I, I don't wantthat pressure.
So I gladly hand that off. That's why I do greens.
I do greens because to me, beingfrom the South, that's easy.
Put everything in the pot, let that thing boil.
It don't matter. It don't matter if you like
soggy greens or hard greens. I like like in the middle where
you, you scoop that thing up andthen boom, you know what I mean?

(45:43):
It don't matter. But like Mac and cheese is
lethal 'cause people will never invite you.
You get you will get excommunicated from all
Thanksgivings if you fuck up Macand cheese.
If you fuck up a Mac and cheese dish you will immediately go
back to paper plates. Oh shit, if you fuck that up,
you will immediately go back to bringing liquor every.

(46:06):
That means that everything. You can't be trusted no more if
you fuck that up. Paper towels.
You bring in drinks again, you back to bring in drinks.
So sodas. Matter of fact, they forgot that
you was even in the group chat, you know what I mean?

(46:27):
Who is this? Why are you here?
Who is that? Whose number is that?
Now I will say this though, I will say this, collard greens
and string beans, you can more than likely get away with
fucking that up. You can more than like like I
don't, I don't overcooked some string beans before.
I don't fuck around and forgot they were there, was too drunk
and forgot, you know what I mean?

(46:48):
But at the same time, though, those are dishes that you can
say, hey, brain knees. Oh, he got good, good greens.
He got good string beans. Well.
You could play off string beans,yeah, because the only season
really in that is like what garlic like a like a little bit.
You could play that off. And if you undercook them, like,

(47:08):
hey, trying to be healthy, if you overcook them, like, hey,
it's Thanksgiving. But greens though, I'm very, I'm
very political on greens becausethat is that is for a specific
culture. Yeah, I'm not even going to
sugarcoat it, but everybody who can read between the lines, read
between the lines. Like if somebody talked about
how about collard greens and they not from that culture.

(47:31):
I can't trust you. I don't know what the hell going
on because you got either two things you got to base it with
either smoked Turkey or smoked ham hocks.
Yeah. Then I'm a I'm a judge you off
what Peppers you use because being being in California for
the last 13 years, I don't have access to the same Peppers we

(47:51):
got down South like in Florida. So I've had to use habaneros,
which has been a weird thing. I don't know what my grandma
uses like red. Peppers.
And chops them up, but I've had to put like habaneros of yes, I
had to thank God I did what I had to do the vinegar.
I'm a judge you off what type ofvinegar you use.
I'm a judge you off how long youcook it.

(48:14):
There's a lot there's a lot thatgoes into that.
So when it comes to greens, likeyou got a hit, go ahead.
What? What?
Why? Why are you looking at me like
that? Go ahead.
I don't know PZ man, like I'm kind of scared to try them
greens bro, like you, you don't have snot coming out my nose and
shit like that, you mean? Motherfuckers like, Oh yeah,
that's the yeah, you if you sick, you're not going to be
sick after that. That yeah, it's it's they are.

(48:36):
Yes, greens are spicy. Yes, Sir.
What? Yes, Sir.
Like, hold on. You from you from the Midwest,
right? Yeah.
OK, so in the South, the greens have a kick to them.
Like, OK, so literally all right, real shit.
I'm going to tell you some shit right now.

(48:57):
So when you go, when you make your plate and you got greens
from where I'm from, you can eatsomething, right?
You can eat Mac and cheese and you want to get that taste out
your mouth. You'll eat a bite of collard
greens. That whole Mac and cheese taste
will be wiped out. Then you go over to the Turkey.
You eat that Turkey's good. Then you go Mac, you go to
greens, wipe that taste out. Like it, it, it like resets your

(49:20):
palate because of how spicy it is and how poking the greens
are. So like it's, it's different for
us. So when people get introduced to
like my collard greens, they be sitting there like what is this?
Everything has like it opens up new taste buds in your mouth.
Look, man. PZ, I'm going to tell you right
now, you bring PZ, you bring yousome damn pepper greens over

(49:43):
here. Fuck that.
Clear my damn nasal passage out.What you spice your greens with.
I never, I've never put spices in the greens.
Hot sauces with that for. Oh, you about to get a judge?
I'm not making the greens. I didn't.
I didn't. I didn't.
I didn't making the greens. I'm not making the greens.

(50:05):
Oh. My God, bro, yeah, you can put
on mine. You you don't really need to,
but I mean, you can. I feel like hot sauces for like
maybe a couple days after, but no, my shits are.
It's already spicy, bro. I got the Peppers in there
waiting for you. Peppers, garlic, onions.
Yeah, I might have to do video. Another dish that 100% is non

(50:31):
negotiable and it's more than likely done at the Hostess house
by the host is dressing. The dressing is probably more
than likely done at the host house.
I. Don't like dressing each.
I don't like dressing and stuff.And that's what.
I'm bro, I don't know what it isman.

(50:51):
Like, I love dressing. That's that Midwest that's that
made way shit bro I'm telling you right now.
Wait, so you don't like cranberry sauce?
I like that, but that's more like a dessert though.
What? I like that.
To me, it's sweet. Bro it's like.
Jello. I'm going to tell you right now

(51:13):
that cranberry sauce, the only reason why I even fucking bought
it is just for aesthetics. I don't even put that on shit.
That shit get put in a can and then I shake it out of the can
and put it on the dish. He just leave it on the plate.
That shit has never touched anything I I don't even know why

(51:33):
we even have it. It's like jam.
It's like, it's like. Literally, I'm looking at it
like, alright, well, I bought you just because of the
aesthetic. Like I'm not even about to, you
know? That's not about to go on out
there. I ain't eating that much, but I
I eat it. You know what I mean?

(51:54):
Like it's literally like a teaspoon of it and I throw it in
my damn dress and then I hurry up and mix it, you know what I
mean? Like I don't know why we have
it. Oh, you mix it in the dressing?
Yeah, you mix it with the. Dressing.
Wait, wait, is that what it's for?
Yeah, that's why you is. That like the.
Purpose of it, yeah. Oh shit hey delete this out.

(52:16):
I didn't know that. Delete this part out.
Bro like like I didn't know thatraw.
I didn't know that, no. That's why I'm up there eating
it raw like a crackhead looking weird.
You. You're eating that raw.
I I was a kid last time I had that, I was a kid.
I didn't know no better bro. Peasy, you're eating that raw.

(52:38):
I didn't know you're supposed tomix it.
The cranberry sauce. Yeah, I didn't know.
Like it's a. Sauce in chunks no man usually
come out in a can so you you youcan like and people break it
down so that's why it look like it's in chunks.
You eating that raw? Yeah, What's the next subject?
Well, I'm sorry. You right, man, Let's just let's

(53:00):
just I thought that was any you're right, bro, you're right,
right. Anyway, so sort of stream beans,
right, Like the stream beans, either they go on in a bowl,
either they going in a bowl. But if you bring them bitches in
a pan, right, talking about thisstring bean casserole, it'll
make it to the there's a there'sa splay, but I'm not eating

(53:21):
that. I'm not eating that.
No matter. Casserole it's string bean OK?
OK string beans or string bean casserole?
Which one is we talking? About string bean Now there's a
big difference though, and a lotof people don't know that, is
that there's the big difference between string beans and string
bean casserole. The string bean casserole mean
that that motherfucker went in the oven at one point.

(53:42):
And it has mushroom, canned mushroom on it.
Some people sprinkle those, those, those onion things on the
top. I don't like that.
Yeah, French onions is that I don't like.
That Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like that I.
Don't like that? I'm going to tell you right now,
and I'm glad that you brought that up.
That little sprinkling shit, that little sprinkling shit on
top of like macaroni and cheese,Yeah, if you're doing that,

(54:05):
you're not, you're not the one that makes macaroni and cheese.
You're not that one. What are you sprinkling though?
What are you sprinkling on macaroni and cheese?
Bro I've met people that made put bacon on top of macaron
cheese, bread crumbs on top of macaroni and cheese bullshit on
top of I don't like cheese bullshit bullshit girl like and

(54:25):
it's like macaroni and cheese isalready a stand alone dish bro.
Like it's a it can hold up on its own and you adding shit to
it. Did I ever tell you I knew
somebody that didn't even use elbow noodles?
They use spaghetti noodles. Noodles that they use.
You better piss me off. I'm not playing with you bro.

(54:46):
That's not you. Make a shit up.
You trying to swear? Trying to get views bro.
Bro I swear to God bro they literally use spaghetti noodles
bro and I remember walking away from me.
I wish I could. I wish I could lie.
They fucking they fucking had spaghetti noodles and I was just
like, how does the macaroni and cheese like why would you do

(55:08):
that? I was like, how's that even
enjoyable? And it was just like, that's how
I grew up making it. I was like, damn, man, like I
would hate for my mom. Not a lot to cook.
You don't get away with that. Nah, that's my Nah.
Hell no. Now, I will say this real quick,
and I'm glad that we talking about plates real quick because
going back to the guests right peasy seconds and thirds is not

(55:31):
a fucking thing, OK? We not doing seconds and thirds
until everybody in the house hasfucking eaten, all right?
For you to get seconds and thirds on Thanksgiving is
already wild. You're already a wild person
when you see there's still a fucking line and you said, you
know what, I'm going to get somemore.

(55:54):
OK. Yes, yes, that's common sense.
You a bold motherfucker to do some shit like that, yes.
Nobody's going. You got to wait for everybody to
eat 100. Percent You have to wait for
everybody to eat man I. I don't I'm a, I'm a second type
of plate type of bro. I eat a lot bro.

(56:16):
Like like I I eat a lot bro. I need what?
And go ahead and eat, you feel me?
But but how you going to sit there and get up and say, yeah,
I'm going to go ahead and get another plate when there's
somebody that ain't even ate yet?
Matter of fact, how the fuck didyou get your plate so fast?
So, so as a man. As a man, I eat last anyway.

(56:43):
Right. How many times you cook, how
many times you cook for your family?
And 'cause I make all of them a plate, I'm like, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, right?
And then I make me a plate and Igot somebody facing me like
that. Can I have some more?
I'm like, it's a little motherfucker, I just got my
plate. Can I eat my food?
Like damn right. Right.
OK, cool. So seconds.
I don't mind seconds me I eat a lot and that's why I have to

(57:07):
have plate number one which is customized and plate number 2
which is everything I didn't tap.
Alright, so it's balance. I don't took my fair share from
each single dish. So seconds I mean.
Wait. I'm waiting for you to talk
about what we allowing people totake home since you don't even
want people to take seconds. Oh, I got you there, I got you

(57:27):
peasy. But while while we serving out
plates. Alright, kids plates alright.
And I can't stress this enough, the kids plates, all right?
And I will say this right now, kids either get one meet and two
sides or two meats and one side.That's it.

(57:48):
All right, one meet and two sides, or two meats and one
side. Kids get stuffing and dressing,
that's what they. Get all right they.
Could get that, they could get that peasy.
Like, like, like really, really like, really think about it,
man. Like I picked this up for my

(58:08):
barbecuing days, man. Like imagine like you see a kid
and he got steak on his plate. He got ribs on his plate.
You look, that motherfucker got shrimp on the plate.
They need grits, that's what they need.
You already know. You already know the kid.
You already know kids don't eat everything on the plate.

(58:30):
Nope. So so this my thing though, is
that the two meats is more than likely Turkey or ham.
What the I'm not about to put the corned beef on this canned
plate. I'm not about to put the that
ain't going on his plate. That motherfucker got a slice of
ham and some Turkey peasy. He got a slice of ham and some

(58:56):
Turkey and and that side more than likely was motherfucking
macaroni and cheese anyway. Imagine seeing a kid walk away
with a bowl full of greens. I'm staring at the kid the whole
time. He better eat everything
they're. Going to pay if they eat my
greens. You don't pay me.

(59:18):
Like, like, like, like, like. So kids plates easily one meet
two sides, two meets one side. That's it.
All right. And there's definitely.
Yeah, yeah. That's in the kitchen.
That's in the kitchen. That's always in the kitchen.

(59:39):
Now I will say this real quick though, PZ All right, There is
definitely a kids table. The reason why there's always a
kids. There's a kids table with a kids
menu. So when the kid walk up, he
already know and let me get one.Meet two sides, please.
You, you ain't even holding up the line.
Let me get 2 meats one side. What's your side?

(59:59):
Macaroni and cheese. All right back.
And it's a spoonful. It's a spoonful.
He don't get 2 spoons. Let me see.
Somebody put two spoonfuls of your kid on that fucking plate.
Unless they are older than the age of 13.
PZ is not happening. It's not fucking happening.
You know what I mean? This this little?

(01:00:23):
This little what? He messing over the food anyway,
you know now, now that we off the guest plates real quick
because I'm I'm I'm let me matter of fact, before we get
off, man, I'm going to talk about plate etiquette real
quick. Plate etiquette.
All right, How long do you want guests to stay at your house

(01:00:44):
before they make it to go plate?I never, I never, I never looked
into that. I never paid attention to that.
Like as long as everybody eats, once I make the food I'm
considering it All gone bro. Yeah.
Because I don't want all that inmy fridge and then I'm picking

(01:01:06):
at it all week and then I got tothrow it away anyway because
after day three, you're tired ofeating it.
Like I, I don't, I can't, you know, so I'm.
Going to make it last a week. Bro, that's so.
I mean that shit till next day, Thanksgiving next Thursday.
Next Thanksgiving, God that see,you can't do that with greens.
That's why, because greens will stink up your whole fridge,

(01:01:27):
right, right. I I would say like if somebody
comes to my house for Thanksgiving, I expect them to
be there for at least. Least. 4 hours like everybody
get there set up 4 hours. You know you got a couple of
football games on like when thatlast game, when that last game
come on that prime that that night time game.

(01:01:47):
I'm starting look at people likeyo, y'all, y'all got to go home
like. Yeah.
You know, and I don't fell asleep like twice because we
drinking too. Yeah, yeah, we.
Didn't cover. We didn't cover what your what
your primary drink is and how you making it.
And how long I've been drinking.That right because me.

(01:02:07):
Yeah, so I give him to the last football game, 'cause I love
football on Thanksgiving and I personally don't care.
So when, when do you allow people to make to go plates?
You have to be at my house more than an hour after dinner had
already been served a hour after.

(01:02:30):
Now I understand PZI, get it? I get it, You know what I mean?
Like because. But I always look at the single
people that come over now if they show up early, I already
know that I'm one of many stops that they bought the fucking
make today. But you are going to stay here
at least a hour after dinner wasalready served.

(01:02:52):
So if dinner was served at 5, you can't leave this
motherfucker till six. You can't all right.
And the reason why is because I already got the to go plates
already pre made for you. You left that out, so you left
that out. You didn't say that.
That's smart. Already pre made the toco place

(01:03:15):
for everybody. Oh, you wanted them smart?
We wanted them once. You're smart.
Was PZI don't I don't like like I count people too.
Like if you was a family of fouryou going to get 3 plates?
So they can split. They can split that last one
because I know the kids ain't going to fucking eat it.
That's for y'all. You put people on meal tickets.

(01:03:39):
You know, and most of the time and most of the time the
families, right, like the families already pre made food
at they house, they just sit here with us.
So, so me giving that third plate out is like really like,
you know what I mean? So the single dude that showed
up, yeah, bro, you can get a plate.
Yeah, it's already in the refrigerator.

(01:03:59):
I already got that bitch on ice in an hour.
In an hour. I take the.
Locks off. I take the locks.
Off in an hour, you know what I mean?
Like in an hour I got you in onehour, all right, in one hour, yo
ass had better took a picture with me, you feel me?

(01:04:19):
And that's another thing I'm going to just say this real
quick peasy is that when you show up to Thanksgiving, all
right, I don't give a fuck if wegoing to be in the living room.
I don't care if you think that we're going to be in the
backyard, you better be wearing your fucking Sundays best.
Sorry, because we taking pictures.
We taking pictures don't show upto them.
Go ahead, get. Salty I can't come in a tall tea
in. Basketball shorts?

(01:04:40):
No man, you ain't about to come in here.
Act like I don't care. If we about to take pictures in
the living room, you better not be dressed for the living room.
This. Shit, this shit's all your
concentration count. God damn.
Alright, like like like like like.
Oh, so then you, you definitely ain't gonna like my next
statement. When you do Thanksgiving, where
do the guests do they? Where?
Where do the guests use the bathroom at?

(01:05:03):
Downstairs, the main bathroom. And wait, wait, wait.
So you gonna have them use the bathroom downstairs where
everybody else is already at? What, you mean use the bathroom?
You mean take a shit? I mean like how are they need to
use the bathroom PZ. The public the most public of
public public bathrooms. And San Diego had a two-story

(01:05:25):
house, right? So.
So are they using the upstairs and downstairs?
Downstairs, downstairs. I need to, I need to control
that environment, put that rightthere so I know that's where all
that's at. And then I can track who goes in
and who goes out. Why where you you make them go
upstairs? No, I make them stay downstairs.
Fuck, hell no. So if you go upstairs, then you

(01:05:46):
go be in my room and stuff like that.
Everybody downstairs. Yeah, but this in the main
bathroom? In the main bathroom.
But this is the thing to go. PZ, you can't take a shit over
here. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Hey, you know what? Yes, you can.
You can, But everybody go know is you when you open it up, like
everybody go know. That's all you.
You want to get bullied? Hey, hey, hey.

(01:06:09):
Look, this is my biggest thing with Thanksgiving is, is that I
already know it's going to be a family establishment.
You know what I mean? So what I do every Thanksgiving?
I take the toilet paper out of the downstairs bathroom.
Take a shit at your house, you fucking animal.
What is wrong with you? Bro, what is wrong with me?
What is wrong with you? Why would you come to my house,
right? You know that's been brewing in

(01:06:31):
your stomach peasy. You know that that was brewing
in your stomach. And you said, you know what?
I'm a shit when I get to Meecha's house, I got food in
the kitchen and you said I'm going to do that when I get to
your house. Absolutely not.
Nah, you can do that. You can do that at your house,
you animal. I don't think people think like

(01:06:52):
that man. It just be happening.
You want people to flush their system before they come to the
crib like. Immediately.
And guess what I put in there instead of toilet paper?
You put, you put. What's that sandpaper?
Clorox wipes. You can wipe your ass if you
want to. What's?
Wrong with you bro, what the hell?
Is that what's wrong with me? What's wrong with the person

(01:07:12):
that would come in there and clean that bathroom out like
that? What is wrong with you bro?
Something wrong with you man? See that's that shit I'll be
talking to you about on the side.
You need help. Fucking Clorox wipes.
I'm I'm making sure that everybody follow the law.
You bleaching anuses, what's wrong with you all?
Right. Walk in here.

(01:07:32):
You can walk in here if you wantto, and you go in that bathroom
and see the Clorox wipes in there, you're going to be really
upset. You'll get that Lance corporate
that don't wipe shitty booty. Hey, hey, hey, you got to be a
bold person to walk out of that bathroom know the the whole
bathroom stinking. You got the dough open and then
on top of that, everybody in thehouse noted there was no toilet

(01:07:55):
paper in there. I put Clorox wipes in there.
They already been complaining tome about the shit you.
Don't got a toilet paper? Nah.
Nah. Hey, hey hey, whoever did this
know that you ain't got no toilet paper bro.
So I hope you brought toilet paper.
I'm gonna look up Yelp reviews for your Thanksgiving.
I don't believe that. Hey bro, I'm telling you right

(01:08:15):
now, toilet. Paper.
Every single year, never bring it, never have it in there.
That's why now you know two morethings before we close this
episode out. Man, how long is Grace supposed
to last? At the longest, 30 seconds, bro,

(01:08:35):
it's 30. It's not that long, bro.
It's not that long, bro, becauseyou don't want to offend nobody.
It's 2024. Get to the point.
You know, some people already feel a little weird about it.
You know, they may not be like. And it depends on who you invite
and if you do background checks and you invite certain people.
Yeah. But look, man, people be trying
to repent for everything they did all year on my time.

(01:08:56):
Listen, bro, I didn't do these things.
Like R Kelly said, I didn't do these things.
Why is he, you know, going on and going about?
Listen, man, listen. Can we eat?
Yeah. I don't know.
How long. How long for you?
My I say 30 seconds. A minute 30.
Mississippi 2. Mississippi a minute and 30.
What have you been doing? Senate PZ don't take been

(01:09:21):
fucking sinning all year round man.
Like I need that prayer to cleanse me.
You don't need to say grace. You need to you need to be in
the corner because you that is too long a minute and 30
seconds. That's when that's when you see
people stand there and they start picking up like damn bro,
what the hell like. I need, I need a good minute and
30 seconds of of grace, all right.

(01:09:42):
I need you to come to the Lord and really thank Him.
You wanted them people to be like and another thing you'd be
like, God damn. Come on now.
Take your time. Take your time.
And God, we almost forgot. Yeah, bust the hands that
prepared this food. Oh, Lord, that's I'm loving it.

(01:10:04):
I'm loving it. I need a minute and no more than
a minute and 30, no less than 30seconds.
You ain't about to get up here and say thank you, God, thank
you for the food and thank you for everything else.
I bet. What?
What? Let us bow our heads.
You got to, you got to. The trick is you got to take

(01:10:25):
deep breaths to stretch it out and be like Father God.
I come to you, Lord, yes, all right, We just want to go ahead
now, peasy. All right, as we come to a close
of this episode, man, we talked about the most important thing
on the dish. Man, we haven't we we have not
covered desserts. What's getting put on the

(01:10:46):
dessert menu? Oh, that's easy.
Pumpkin pie. Why are you looking at me like
that, bro? I'm from the South.
You don't like pumpkin pie? You don't like pecan pie?
Wow. I didn't say bro bro, nobody
said nobody said anything bad about pecan pie, but you

(01:11:13):
immediately said pumpkin pie like.
Pumpkin pie, Pecan pie, Sweet potato pie, the pies.
I'm Thanksgiving is about pies. Yeah, I get that, but why was
pumpkin pie so fast to come out?With the cinnamon in it.
I'm not saying anything bad about.

(01:11:33):
It but you making you making that.
What are you doing right now? I'm just shocked.
Hold on, you do you? Do you?
You like Starbucks? Yes.
OK, you ever had pumpkin spice latte?
You ever had? That every single time I go to
Starbucks I get a pumpkin spice latte.
So why the fuck are you looking at me like that?
Like you can't relate to what I'm saying right now?
You don't like you don't like the pies?

(01:11:55):
I mean if if my first dessert would never be immediately.
But what the fuck is your first dessert, Meech?
Sweet potato pie. It's the.
They in the same family man are.They in the same family.
Pies. I was naming pies.
But that just told me everythingthat I needed to know about you,

(01:12:15):
Peasy. Is that the?
Orange whatever's orange pies, I'm eating it.
What the peasy peasy that told me everything that I needed to
know. Bro, like you, you immediately
said pumpkin pie. So I know that if sweet potato
pie and pumpkin pie were on the table, your your your your first
slice was pumpkin. I'm.
Eating both bro. I know you're going to eat both,
but the first slice was pumpkin.Pumpkin touched your plate

(01:12:37):
first. You a pumpkin pie type of guy
bro? Like ain't nothing wrong with
it. What?
Is that what the fuck is a pumpkin pie type of guy?
I mean what the fuck is that? You making shit up now you.
Just making it, bro. Look, look, I don't make
anything up, all right? I didn't write this manual, all
right? All I do is just follow it.
That's it. There's a.
Manual for this shit because I don't have it.

(01:13:00):
Do do you eat? Have you ever eaten pumpkin pie?
I make pumpkin pie. So you like it?
I do, I love it. So why the fuck you judging me
'cause I I just happened to see it?
I don't. I'm not.
I just said that I love sweet potatoes more, all right?
And you said pumpkin so fast that I just was like, whoa.
OK, top. Watch this.

(01:13:20):
I'm about the top three super Saiyans.
Go real quick. Go, hurry up.
Let's go. Hey, go Vegeta Gohan Goku.
Oh no, you said Vegeta first. Yeah, you would give a fuck.
You said Vegeta first. Wow, what do you mean give a
fuck no. It don't fucking matter bro.
It's three things, bro. It doesn't fucking matter the.

(01:13:42):
Fact that you put look. Whatever bro.
You just, you're not even just picking bro.
Do you even Do you put whipped cream on your pumpkin pie?
No, I don't do that. That's OK.
OK. I mean, I mean, ain't nothing
wrong with it. Ain't nothing wrong with it.
Do you red velvet cake? Oh yeah, I don't care what you
got to say about that. I don't fuck that up.

(01:14:05):
I'm gonna fuck that. Up that shit comes around once a
year. If you eat that shit in January
it don't taste right. Bro this.
Don't feel. Right.
Bro, I don't even eat sweets. I don't even eat sweets, but I
promise you when red velvet cakeget on the menu and that shit
man, I'm about to what I'm aboutto do to it.

(01:14:25):
I need about like I need a chunkof that to go I'm.
Gonna be sweating. You know what I mean?
I'm gonna eat a pie. I'm gonna eat a pie to myself.
All right? I.
Still can't really try coming. From I'm just saying I I was
just shocked. What I was just shocked.
I was just shocked. Damn bro, do you eat Peach
cobbler? Yes, yes, I don't.

(01:14:48):
I don't like Peaches though, so that has.
That's only my issue. Not eat that, but you could eat
that other other times of the year.
Like, I don't know, it's something about Thanksgiving
orange and and orange colored. Dessert saying.
That's why pumpkin and pumpkin pie and and what the fuck?
Is that on sweet potato? Sweet potato pie, Yeah, they

(01:15:11):
like, they just they support. That is a part of the aesthetic.
100% yeah, so. Yeah, man, like I can't believe
you came at me like that. We.
Going I didn't bro, like I was just I was just shocked.
I was just shocked that was it. I was just shocked, you know,
but I think that like, you know,overall the menu going to be
good. You know what I mean?
Like I feel like the menu's good.

(01:15:33):
The guests are in order. Hold on Thanksgiving, what's up?
Your drink What's your what's your, what's your what?
OK, you're drinking it. You're drinking it.
Or ice straight. You're not mixing with anything.
Ice with cold, preferably gingerAlto.
I'm a ginger ale type of person.That's why I've never had a

(01:15:53):
hangover. The ginger ale always like
cancel that out. I've never had a hangover.
I've passed out before, but I'venever had a hangover.
Ginger. Ale cancels it out.
Yeah, do like. I'll be drinking green, green
crown, green apple with cranberry juice.
Bobby didn't hungover. Yes, because of the sugar.

(01:16:15):
The sugar make you have hungover.
Ginger ale. I got no sugar in it.
I don't know what the hell how does it count, but.
Ginger ale's medicine, though. No it's not, that's just some
shit black people make. Why?
Oh my God, you so you so ignorant.
Matter of fact, before we close this episode out, what time are
you waking up to cook? What time is you waking up to

(01:16:38):
cook? Last year I got up at so I prep
everything at night. So I plug it in in the morning,
right? And then I could cook it slower
so I'd be up around like 53530. OK Oh yeah, You, you, you.
You want the ones and twos. You, you.
You wanted them once. You wanted them once.

(01:16:59):
My bad, my bad. I never even asked you that
again. You only got 2 slots in the
oven. Yeah.
So like, and then you got to do everything else too.
Like, yeah, you cook as slow as you want.
I'd be, yeah. Yeah, you wanted them once.
Yeah, you wanted them once. Because.
And I'm I'm on the West Coast. Yeah, same, same.
So fucking you got to be up early.
You got to be up early, you know, but but with that being

(01:17:23):
said, as we come to a close to this episode, you know, I want
first and foremost, I hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving.
You know, be thankful. Be thankful for the things that
you have, for the people that are in your life, for just
overall the things that you've accomplished.
You know, I hope this episode was definitely able to help shed
some light. But with that being said man PZ,

(01:17:46):
you got anything for anybody? No, man, be be thankful for
every every. Yes, I do.
Be thankful for everything you have and every day that you have
because one day it ain't going to be there.
And that's all I got to say, man.
Thank you for having me bro. 100% man.

(01:18:09):
Nah bro that was that was morbidas fuck bro.
Like what did you say that bro? Like it's true.
It's true, man. You got to be grateful.
Listen, listen. I found this.
Everything you have let me whereit may not be there.
Go ahead. Can I share?
Can I share this quote with you right?
Quick share the quote. I said, I found this quote.
It said, damn, this is morbid. But anyway, here it said the

(01:18:32):
dead receive more flowers than the living because remorse is
stronger than gratitude. So if you display that gratitude
to where these are the memories that permeate in people's minds,
you won't have to worry about the impact you left on people.
So people like yourself that open up your home to people that

(01:18:52):
don't have it, even though you got all these restrictions and
rules, it's something that's going to be a memory because you
never know. The holidays are a very lonely
time, a really lonely time, a lonely time for a lot of people,
you know what I mean? Like, and they reflect and they
realize they see everybody else together.
So when you got people like yourself or myself, like in the
past when I've opened up my home, it means something to some

(01:19:14):
people. So, you know, you just got to be
grateful for for what you have. So take Thanksgiving seriously.
That's all I got to say. I'm done.
Percent man, I love that bro. But with that being said, we'll
see y'all in December. And just like that, another
extraordinary thought left this ordinary mind.
I hope you enjoyed this episode half as much as I enjoy making
it. Don't forget to head on over to

(01:19:35):
your favorite streaming platform, whether that's Apple
podcast or Spotify podcast, and leave this podcast an honest
review because this podcast deserves to grow just as much as
we do. Also don't forget to head on
over to TikTok or Instagram and follow me at Meech speaks.
That's right, Meech speaks. Meech is spelled Meec chapter.
Stay motivated, stay healthy. I'm out.