September 4, 2025 • 23 mins
Being a parent, a leader, or even just someone others look up to isn’t about what you say — it’s about what you do. In this episode of the Talkin’ Crazy Podcast, Meech Speaks breaks down the true meaning of setting the example, both at home as a father of four and in the Marine Corps as a leader of Marines.
From teaching his son Connor the discipline of boxing, to showing restraint in tough real-life moments, to climbing the rope when all eyes were on him — Meech reminds us that the people who believe in you are watching how you move, not just listening to your words.
If your kids, your Marines, your family, or your community were watching you right now… would they see someone who gives up, or someone who keeps fighting?
Don’t just talk about leadership. Be the example.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
You know, we're quick to sit back and give it an excuse on
why we weren't able to accomplish something.
But I bet you right now, if yourkids were watching you, you
wouldn't have gave up. Like if your kids was watching
you right now, you wouldn't havebeen a bit.
(00:30):
This episode is sponsored by Better Help.
What's going on everybody? As we all know, mental health is
a huge piece for me. And recently as I become a
better version of myself, I've decided that it's time for me to
go to therapy because I understand how life can be a
little overwhelming and we all need help navigating through the
trenches of military service andand out of uniform.
Better Help connects you with a licensed therapist who is
(00:51):
trained to listen and give you helpful, unbiased advice. 1st
all you got to do is go to theirsite.
Matter of fact, you can use my link right here.
Answer a few questions and Better Help will match you with
a professional who has years of experience in helping people
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(01:12):
however you feel most comfortable.
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You will be matched to a therapist usually within 48
hours, so you can get started fast.
Let Better help connect you to atherapist who can support you
all from the comfort of your home.
Visit betterhelp.com/meech Speaks and enjoy a special
discount on your first month. What's going on everybody?
(01:34):
It's that ordinary podcast with the extraordinary thoughts that
tells you to stop being great and be extraordinary.
I'm your host, Demetrius Thicke and also known as me space and
welcome back to another episode of the talking Crazy podcast.
Now before we get started with this podcast, don't forget to
head on over to your favorite streaming platform, whether
that's Apple podcast or Spotify podcast and leave this podcast a
honest review because this podcast deserves to grow just as
(01:55):
much as we do Now First things first before we even get started
with this episode. If you have not checked out
Monday's episode with my with mayor Craw, you know the host
from here for the dads podcast who like like like you're doing
yourself a disservice. All right, like you're really
doing yourself a disservice because Monday's episode has a
(02:16):
lot to do with today's episode. So I will tell you right now, if
you ever heard Monday's episode,turn this shit off and head on
over to Monday's episode and then swing on back.
But today's episode things that we talking about is the power of
being an example. We going over what it means to
be a good example, what a bad example looks like, the belief
that you will have when you feellike you're an example and the
(02:39):
responsibility that you have to those that look up to you.
So First things first, man, I just can't even lie, dude.
Like I can't even lie. Like I'm really proud to be a
dad. You feel me?
Like I'm really proud to be a dad.
And for those who don't know, I'm a father of four and my son
Connor, right? Like I feel like out of all my
(02:59):
kids, I love them equally, You know what I mean?
I love all my kids equally. But my son Connor, right?
I feel like me and him, you knowwhat I mean?
Like he up under that wing, you say?
I mean, like he up under that wing and we recently started and
it's it's so crazy because we recently started training
together. He fed me like, and what started
(03:21):
what was so crazy is that I've always worked with Connor when
it came down to like boxing. And when I first started
teaching Connor boxing, it wasn't honestly to make him like
a golden glove boxer. To be honest with you, I didn't
even give a fuck if Connor couldfight.
You feel me? The reason why I taught Connor
boxing was because Connor got a mouth just like his Mama, you
(03:42):
know what I mean? Like Connor got her mouth just
like his Mama. Like his mom is real quick to
say shit, She real quick with it.
And that works for her. That works for her.
I already know that that's not going to work out great for
Connor. You fear me.
You can't be coming around places saying the first thing
that's on your mind and think that people just going to go
with it, you know what I mean? Or think that people just going
(04:02):
to be like, all right, man, yeah, I hear that Connor going
to have to have to stand on a lot of things that he believed
in. So I pulled him off to the side
and I started teaching them justbasic things with boxing, you
feel me? I start teaching them basic
things with boxing. And I told them, I said, Connor,
whether you know how to fight orwhether you don't know how to
fight is always going to be, youknow, that's that, that, that
(04:23):
right there. That's up to you.
You feel me? But you need to learn this
because of the simple fact that you won't have to stand on what
you believe in, bro, you feel me?
You are a very outspoken kid andthe one thing that I want to be
able to give you is the tools tobe able to stand on exactly what
you fucking believe in. Because you will say something
(04:45):
and if you cannot back up what you believe in, then you no
longer believe in it. That's just a fact.
And I started working with my son, I want to say, around like
7 years old, you know what I mean?
Hitting mitts, going over stands, you know, just basic
shit with him. And for his 8th birthday, I took
him. And this was when I was in
Virginia and I was working over at the Mace.
(05:07):
I took him to the Mace, you knowwhat I mean?
Because he had always wanted to go.
He always wanted to go. So I was like, you know what,
fucking man, I'll bring you. And I talked to, you know, I
talked to my best friend and I let him know I was like, hey,
bro, like I'm going to bring Connor to the Mace for his 8th
birthday. You think that's cool?
He said, hell yeah, you feel me?He said hell yeah.
So our brain caught it to the Mace.
(05:28):
And he got a chance to not only hit mitts, we went over drills.
He got a chance to see some of us spar.
And on top of that, to close it out, they gave him a whole tour
of the facility, You feel me? And like, they talked about just
the museum that was there. He talked about the pool.
He talked about the different Moses.
(05:49):
He talked about the caliber of it.
And I'm not gonna lie, man, like, and I'm trying not to get
emotional when I say this, but it really meant a lot to me.
You feel me? It really meant a lot to me
because, Oh my God, I am about to cry.
But it meant a lot because I, I sometimes I always ask myself,
(06:10):
like, am I doing a great job as a dad?
You feel me? Like, am I doing a great job as
a dad and to take him to my place of business, you know what
I mean? Like to take him to my place of
business and to see everybody that worked there and, you know,
for them to show him drills and to, you know, give him a tour.
You know, I didn't realize how much of an impact that really
(06:31):
had on him. He was asking them shit like,
you know, what they MOS was and what they job is.
And, you know, then I remember him going home and telling me
like, you know, like, that's something that I would love to
do. And that would be so crazy to
me, you feel me. Like that would be so crazy to
me if my son joined the Marine Corps, you feel me?
And not only did he join the Marine Corps, but he came, he
(06:53):
became a martial arts instructortrainer.
And not only did he become a martial arts instructor trainer,
but he ended up working at the Martial Arts Center of
Excellence. That would be such a full circle
moment, you feel me? Now, once again, I'm not pushing
the military on my kids, but if they choose to go, they got some
big shoes to fill, you know whatI mean?
But I digress. Me and kind of we work out
(07:15):
together, you know, and this morning, you know, he was
talking to me because he saw like, you know, they was doing a
unit PT at the gym that we were at.
And he was like, man, I rememberwhen you took me to where you
work at and all of those guys was like really fucking hitting
it. And I was like, you still
remember that? He was like, yeah, he was like,
those was men. And I was like hell yeah, there
was men. You feel me?
(07:36):
Hell yeah, they were men. And I bring all of that up, man,
because it just means so much tobe able to show my son the
example of what excellence lookslike, what a high caliber Marine
looks like, what a high caliber human looks like.
You know, it, it meant so much to just show him what a good
(07:56):
example is. So leading, you know, like
carrying over from Monday's episode into this week's
episode, like, you know, the endof the week's episode.
I, I really want to just tell people, man, because I don't
know who need to hear this, but a lot of y'all, y'all parents,
you feel me? And as parents, man, like we
want to be able to give our kidseverything that we didn't have.
(08:20):
But the one thing that I asked you is, is as you give your kids
all the material things that youdidn't have, are you going to
give them the example that you didn't have?
You feel me? A lot of us are leaders that
listen to this podcast, you know, and we sit back and we'll,
we'll say toxic leadership untilwe're blue in the face.
(08:41):
But as you say, toxic leadership, are you going to
turn around and give your Marines the leadership that you
didn't have? You know, are you going to be
the leader that you needed the most?
Are you going to be, are you going to be the dad that you
needed the most? Are you going to be the mother
that you needed the most? Are you just going to be the
mentor that you needed the most?Are you going to be the role
(09:01):
model that you needed the most? So with that man, let's go ahead
and get started with today's episode all right, so the first
thing man, first thing we got totalk about is the power of an
example. OK, now what thing we all know
about setting the example. In fact, it's a leadership
principle. Set the example, all right, like
it's bred into us like it's our bread and butter of you got to
(09:22):
be able to set the example and we understand that yes, I got to
be a good influence to the Marines up under me.
Matter of fact, let's just take the military off of the table.
I got to be a good role model inmy household, you feel me?
But a lot of people do not understand this.
When it comes down to being an example, people don't give a
fuck what you say. OK, I will say that again.
(09:43):
People don't give a fuck what you say.
They care about what you do. You could be motivational, you
can be charismatic, you can be, hey, go ahead and attack that.
He'll never give up. Be hard.
But the moment that they see yoube weak.
None of that shit fucking matters.
The moment that they see you notdisplay the things that you
(10:05):
preach, it don't fucking matter.You feel me like?
Like I don't think a lot of people understand man.
When you talk about the example,nobody gives a fuck about what
you say. You could say all the good
things in the world, but people won't want to see you actually
practice what you preach. I know a lot of people, man.
Like they know that story with me in the rope where I was at
(10:27):
the old course. I go through the old course, I
get to the rope. I can't climb the fucking rope.
You feel me? And next thing you know, I'm now
losing the entire competition because I couldn't climb the
rope. And I know y'all know the story
of the part where I fucking haveto keep climbing till my hands
are blistered today, till I keepfalling down today.
(10:48):
Just so swollen, like my forearms, they've swollen to the
point where I can't even grab the rope.
And I know y'all remember that part where I had everybody in my
squad watching me and they needed to see that, you know
what I mean? Like they needed to see that
because they needed to see me keep that exact same energy that
(11:10):
I tell them all the time to have.
I preach, never give up, never back down, never quit.
I tell them, you better have that exact same energy that you
had in the beginning that you have at the end, regardless of
how it plays out. And here I am in this moment,
right in this moment. And if it doesn't go my way, am
(11:34):
I going to back out? And I remember having everybody
around me watching me climb and climb and climb and fall and
climb and fall and climb until Icontinued to keep getting back
up because they needed to see it.
Did I want that? Hell no, bro.
(11:56):
If I had to be honest with you, I wish they would have left.
But I knew that if I wanted to maintain the the leadership that
I had in their eyes, right? Like if I wanted to maintain the
image that I had in their eyes, they had to see that.
And a lot of us were not fortunate to actually see our
leaders practice what they preach.
A lot of us, we weren't fortunate to see our parents
(12:19):
practice what are what, what they preach.
And it and it and it pains me, man, because a lot of people
don't understand what it means to truly be an example.
You sitting back and you tellingyour kids you know go to college
but you never went to college. The fuck you telling them man to
to make something of themselves but you never did.
(12:40):
It's hard for them to follow through when they ain't got
something to look at. You telling your Marines a do
this but you refuse to do it. Clean this but you ain't
cleaning it. Show up on time but you showing
late. Make sure your uniform is right
but your uniform look like shit.Our Marines, our children are
(13:01):
people that look up to us. They don't give a fuck about
what we say, they give a fuck about what we do.
Now one thing that I want to talk about is what a good
example is and what a bad example is.
And the key thing about this is that we know what good look like
and we know what bad look like. You feel me like good examples,
man, They take accountability. Ain't no excuses.
(13:24):
They practice what they preach. They doing the thing that they
said that they gon do. A good example is going to
finish exactly what they start. They going to show up on time
they go. They going to be able to control
their emotions. And we all know what a bad
example looks like, you feel me?Making excuses, always
complaining, passing the blame off to somebody else, doesn't
(13:46):
know how to control their emotions.
They do the opposite of what thefuck they're talking about.
We know what good and bad is, man.
We know what good and bad is. But the hard part about good and
bad is being able to be good allthe time.
And I'll tell you this right outthe gate, is it hard to be a
good example all the time? 100 percent, 100%, man, I'll be
(14:09):
lying to you. If as a father, I never just
show my ass in front of my kids before.
I ain't gonna lie. I ain't gonna lie to you if I
say as a leader of Marines, I ain't never show my ass.
But as as soon as I do that, I immediately revert back to
(14:30):
showing some type of what a goodexample is.
I own up to it. And I will tell you this right
now, man, it's a lot of us that grew up and we never got a
chance to see what a good example is, you feel me?
And I think a lot of people whenI hear, when they hear me say
this, they think like, oh, well,there was nobody in the house.
No, there was somebody in the house.
You feel me? I'll say that right now.
(14:51):
A lot of us grew up with an example.
It just wasn't a good one. So we know what it looks like to
not be able to control your emotions.
We know what it looks like when you don't follow through with
your word. We know what it looks like when
you don't show up on time. We know what it looks like when
you constantly complaining. We know what it looks like when
you constantly making excuses and the beauty and a bad
(15:11):
example, right? A beauty and a bad example is
because you only seem bad. You know what bad is.
You can immediately just do the opposite and you can just do
what good is. We all know that.
But The thing is, man, is that it's hard.
It's hard to maintain being a good example.
And I will always tell whoever is listening, please give
(15:32):
yourself grace. And this reminds me in a moment,
man, like I have my kids with me, right?
I have my kids with me. And it's like it was, it was
just a weird situation, man. Like it really was a weird
situation. And this guy like, like he said
something to me. He feel me like he said
something to me. Mind you, I got my children with
me. I got my children with me and I
(15:54):
I had to pick in this moment, amI going to be a good example or
am I going to be a bad example? You feel me and a lot of times,
and I don't know who need to hear this.
You may think that you about to do something bad and that may
actually be the best thing for you and your children.
You may think that this is setting a bad example and not
(16:15):
realize it's actually setting the best example for the people
that are looking up to you. And I had to heal from this one.
I had to really heal from this. You feel me?
Because I struggled with this for a while because I remember
saying to myself, I'll rip your fucking face off.
I'll rip your fucking face off. I ain't say it out loud because
I have my children with me, but I remember saying that in my
head and I remember thinking like, all I gotta do is just,
(16:38):
you know. And I did because I said to
myself that if I react right now, my kids just see a ugly
side of me. I'm thinking I'm standing on
business. Well, my children are about to
see a ugly side of me and this is about to escalate way past
what it need to be. So in that moment, right there,
(17:01):
rather than acting on what I felt like was the best thing,
would have actually had been theworst thing, I decided to show
control. You feel me?
I show control. And in that moment, my kids got
a chance to see what control looks like.
They got a chance to see what they dad looks like when he
controls his emotions. They got a chance to see all of
(17:24):
that. And I was able to set a good
example. Now Fast forward and this one
thing I love about lessons in life, they always tend to spin
the block, you know what I mean?Like they come back around.
Now my kids, they at the park and an incident happened.
My kids come home, they like this, Hey, somebody said
something, said something to us at the park.
I said, say less, say less. I'm on my way.
(17:48):
And I remember heading over there to the park.
I said, what's going on? What happened?
You feel me? Like what happened?
And it's like, hey, this guy told us that we need to watch
our mouths. We weren't even talking,
somebody else was, and then he gonna call the police on us.
I said, Oh no, absolutely not. I said, where is he at?
My son looked dead over and saidthere he is right there in this
(18:09):
moment. My kids are about to see me set
the best example that I could ever set because I went over
there. I so I pulled the guy off to the
side. I was like, hey man, like my
children telling me that that something was said to him.
He's like, Oh well, I just, you know, like all the hoop and
holler. And then he raised his voice at
me. You know what I mean?
And I stopped him right there. And I said, look, I'm not
(18:29):
raising my voice at you, so don't raise your voice at me.
What I am seeing right now, OK, is my children said that an
incident occurred. I'm addressing it if you have an
issue with me and that's what you need to do, you need to
address that with me now, with my children.
Man, I wish I could tell y'all deeper details to this, but let
(18:52):
me just explain something to you, all right?
To be able to do that for my children, to be able to set an
example to my children. Trust me, I'm from Detroit, MI,
I'm from the east side. The example I want to set ain't
the right one. You feel me?
Y'all already know exactly what I'm I want to do, but the
(19:14):
example that I did set, that my children got a chance to see was
probably one of the best examples that I will ever be
able to set as a father. I walked home mad and I just
couldn't believe that I maintained such control, such
poise, such confidence, and I backed my children.
And I say all of this man because there's moments where we
(19:35):
feel like right? Like we know what a good example
looks like, but our emotions maysay that this is the best
example. And in reality that may not even
be the case. You might accidentally set the
bad example thinking that it's the good one, and the good one
may actually be the one that youthink is bad.
But because you not used to setting that type in example, it
(19:58):
seems like it's bad. And when I say I walked away
with a completely different perspective about that man, like
man, it just felt amazing. I bring all of that back home
man, and just say this. There's a lot of us right now
that think that we ain't settingthe best example, not realizing
we sudden we send some of the greatest examples that our
(20:18):
children will ever see. I go back to the moment where I
was climbing that rope, not realize I'm setting a great
example for my Marines to see a leader that didn't back down,
that didn't give up, that practice, what he preached.
It may sucked in a moment, but alot of times, man, that's
exactly what that example is. Because at the end of the day,
(20:40):
they don't give a fuck about what you say.
They give a fuck about what you do.
Now, man, like I'm and, and thisright here is my favorite part,
man, is because when you realizethe example that you say, when
you realize the people that are looking up to you, when you look
at when you take a moment and you, you realize that there's
people that actually hold you ina high regard.
(21:01):
There's a certain belief that you end up adopting.
There's a certain responsibilitythat you take up under your
wing. You feel me?
And I, and I bring this up, man,because we're quick.
We're quick to give an excuse ofwhy we weren't able to
accomplish this. We're quick to give some type of
excuse of why we backed away, why we quit, why we gave up.
(21:21):
But I bet you right now, if yourchildren were watching you, you
wouldn't do that. You feel me?
Like if your kids was watching you in the moment where you
about to give up, I bet you right now you would you would
you would take a step back and be like hell no, not why they
there, because you know, you know that the example that you
setting is bad. And I bring that up, man,
(21:43):
because I don't know who need tohear this.
But when you give up, when you walk away, when you decide to
show your ass, you betray the belief that everybody has in
you. You fear me.
Like when you decide to show your ass, you betray everybody
that spoke highly of you. When you decide to give up,
(22:03):
right, you betray everybody thatbelieved in you.
And I say that man, because we live in this society right now.
We live in this era where we want people to believe in us,
but you not willing to give thema reason to believe.
Why the fuck you want me to believe?
If you going back out, you goingto make me look like a fool.
And I bring that up, man, because of the simple fact that
(22:24):
when you realize that you are example to many, when you
realize that you're an example to many, you will refuse to
quit. You will refuse to walk away.
You will refuse to not put a fight up because you know that
it's not, it's not you. It's bigger than you.
Now, as we come to a close to this episode, I really just want
(22:45):
to take a moment, man, and just say this.
I know I got parents, I got leaders, I got people, man, like
that are listening to this episode.
And I just really want you to just take a moment and just
realize that everything that youdo, it ain't just about you.
You striving to become a better version of yourself right now.
And that that better version is going to impact their community.
(23:07):
That better version is going to impact their children.
That better version is going to impact their generations.
It ain't just about you. And I want you to just take a
moment and realize, you feel me like, realize that everything
that you doing right now, somebody is rooting for you.
Somebody is looking up to you, somebody is believing in you and
(23:27):
you cannot let them down. And just like that, another
extraordinary thought left this ordinary mind.
I hope you enjoyed this episode half as much as I enjoy making
it. Don't forget to head on over to
your favorite streaming platform, whether that's apple
podcasts or Spotify podcasts andleave this podcast on honest
review because this podcast deserves to grow just as much as
we do Also don't forget to head on over to TikTok or Instagram
(23:49):
and follow me at Meech speaks. That's right, Meech speaks Meech
is spelled M EE Ch. Stay motivated, stay healthy.
I'm out.
You know, we're quick to sit back and give it an excuse on
why we weren't able to accomplish something.
But I bet you right now, if yourkids were watching you, you
wouldn't have gave up. Like if your kids was watching
you right now, you wouldn't havebeen a bit.
(00:30):
This episode is sponsored by Better Help.
What's going on everybody? As we all know, mental health is
a huge piece for me. And recently as I become a
better version of myself, I've decided that it's time for me to
go to therapy because I understand how life can be a
little overwhelming and we all need help navigating through the
trenches of military service andand out of uniform.
Better Help connects you with a licensed therapist who is
(00:51):
trained to listen and give you helpful, unbiased advice. 1st
all you got to do is go to theirsite.
Matter of fact, you can use my link right here.
Answer a few questions and Better Help will match you with
a professional who has years of experience in helping people
with struggles just like yours. You can do it all from your
phone or computer, via phone call or video chat or messaging
(01:12):
however you feel most comfortable.
It's the easiest possible way tostart talking to a therapist.
You will be matched to a therapist usually within 48
hours, so you can get started fast.
Let Better help connect you to atherapist who can support you
all from the comfort of your home.
Visit betterhelp.com/meech Speaks and enjoy a special
discount on your first month. What's going on everybody?
(01:34):
It's that ordinary podcast with the extraordinary thoughts that
tells you to stop being great and be extraordinary.
I'm your host, Demetrius Thicke and also known as me space and
welcome back to another episode of the talking Crazy podcast.
Now before we get started with this podcast, don't forget to
head on over to your favorite streaming platform, whether
that's Apple podcast or Spotify podcast and leave this podcast a
honest review because this podcast deserves to grow just as
(01:55):
much as we do Now First things first before we even get started
with this episode. If you have not checked out
Monday's episode with my with mayor Craw, you know the host
from here for the dads podcast who like like like you're doing
yourself a disservice. All right, like you're really
doing yourself a disservice because Monday's episode has a
(02:16):
lot to do with today's episode. So I will tell you right now, if
you ever heard Monday's episode,turn this shit off and head on
over to Monday's episode and then swing on back.
But today's episode things that we talking about is the power of
being an example. We going over what it means to
be a good example, what a bad example looks like, the belief
that you will have when you feellike you're an example and the
(02:39):
responsibility that you have to those that look up to you.
So First things first, man, I just can't even lie, dude.
Like I can't even lie. Like I'm really proud to be a
dad. You feel me?
Like I'm really proud to be a dad.
And for those who don't know, I'm a father of four and my son
Connor, right? Like I feel like out of all my
(02:59):
kids, I love them equally, You know what I mean?
I love all my kids equally. But my son Connor, right?
I feel like me and him, you knowwhat I mean?
Like he up under that wing, you say?
I mean, like he up under that wing and we recently started and
it's it's so crazy because we recently started training
together. He fed me like, and what started
(03:21):
what was so crazy is that I've always worked with Connor when
it came down to like boxing. And when I first started
teaching Connor boxing, it wasn't honestly to make him like
a golden glove boxer. To be honest with you, I didn't
even give a fuck if Connor couldfight.
You feel me? The reason why I taught Connor
boxing was because Connor got a mouth just like his Mama, you
(03:42):
know what I mean? Like Connor got her mouth just
like his Mama. Like his mom is real quick to
say shit, She real quick with it.
And that works for her. That works for her.
I already know that that's not going to work out great for
Connor. You fear me.
You can't be coming around places saying the first thing
that's on your mind and think that people just going to go
with it, you know what I mean? Or think that people just going
(04:02):
to be like, all right, man, yeah, I hear that Connor going
to have to have to stand on a lot of things that he believed
in. So I pulled him off to the side
and I started teaching them justbasic things with boxing, you
feel me? I start teaching them basic
things with boxing. And I told them, I said, Connor,
whether you know how to fight orwhether you don't know how to
fight is always going to be, youknow, that's that, that, that
(04:23):
right there. That's up to you.
You feel me? But you need to learn this
because of the simple fact that you won't have to stand on what
you believe in, bro, you feel me?
You are a very outspoken kid andthe one thing that I want to be
able to give you is the tools tobe able to stand on exactly what
you fucking believe in. Because you will say something
(04:45):
and if you cannot back up what you believe in, then you no
longer believe in it. That's just a fact.
And I started working with my son, I want to say, around like
7 years old, you know what I mean?
Hitting mitts, going over stands, you know, just basic
shit with him. And for his 8th birthday, I took
him. And this was when I was in
Virginia and I was working over at the Mace.
(05:07):
I took him to the Mace, you knowwhat I mean?
Because he had always wanted to go.
He always wanted to go. So I was like, you know what,
fucking man, I'll bring you. And I talked to, you know, I
talked to my best friend and I let him know I was like, hey,
bro, like I'm going to bring Connor to the Mace for his 8th
birthday. You think that's cool?
He said, hell yeah, you feel me?He said hell yeah.
So our brain caught it to the Mace.
(05:28):
And he got a chance to not only hit mitts, we went over drills.
He got a chance to see some of us spar.
And on top of that, to close it out, they gave him a whole tour
of the facility, You feel me? And like, they talked about just
the museum that was there. He talked about the pool.
He talked about the different Moses.
(05:49):
He talked about the caliber of it.
And I'm not gonna lie, man, like, and I'm trying not to get
emotional when I say this, but it really meant a lot to me.
You feel me? It really meant a lot to me
because, Oh my God, I am about to cry.
But it meant a lot because I, I sometimes I always ask myself,
(06:10):
like, am I doing a great job as a dad?
You feel me? Like, am I doing a great job as
a dad and to take him to my place of business, you know what
I mean? Like to take him to my place of
business and to see everybody that worked there and, you know,
for them to show him drills and to, you know, give him a tour.
You know, I didn't realize how much of an impact that really
(06:31):
had on him. He was asking them shit like,
you know, what they MOS was and what they job is.
And, you know, then I remember him going home and telling me
like, you know, like, that's something that I would love to
do. And that would be so crazy to
me, you feel me. Like that would be so crazy to
me if my son joined the Marine Corps, you feel me?
And not only did he join the Marine Corps, but he came, he
(06:53):
became a martial arts instructortrainer.
And not only did he become a martial arts instructor trainer,
but he ended up working at the Martial Arts Center of
Excellence. That would be such a full circle
moment, you feel me? Now, once again, I'm not pushing
the military on my kids, but if they choose to go, they got some
big shoes to fill, you know whatI mean?
But I digress. Me and kind of we work out
(07:15):
together, you know, and this morning, you know, he was
talking to me because he saw like, you know, they was doing a
unit PT at the gym that we were at.
And he was like, man, I rememberwhen you took me to where you
work at and all of those guys was like really fucking hitting
it. And I was like, you still
remember that? He was like, yeah, he was like,
those was men. And I was like hell yeah, there
was men. You feel me?
(07:36):
Hell yeah, they were men. And I bring all of that up, man,
because it just means so much tobe able to show my son the
example of what excellence lookslike, what a high caliber Marine
looks like, what a high caliber human looks like.
You know, it, it meant so much to just show him what a good
(07:56):
example is. So leading, you know, like
carrying over from Monday's episode into this week's
episode, like, you know, the endof the week's episode.
I, I really want to just tell people, man, because I don't
know who need to hear this, but a lot of y'all, y'all parents,
you feel me? And as parents, man, like we
want to be able to give our kidseverything that we didn't have.
(08:20):
But the one thing that I asked you is, is as you give your kids
all the material things that youdidn't have, are you going to
give them the example that you didn't have?
You feel me? A lot of us are leaders that
listen to this podcast, you know, and we sit back and we'll,
we'll say toxic leadership untilwe're blue in the face.
(08:41):
But as you say, toxic leadership, are you going to
turn around and give your Marines the leadership that you
didn't have? You know, are you going to be
the leader that you needed the most?
Are you going to be, are you going to be the dad that you
needed the most? Are you going to be the mother
that you needed the most? Are you just going to be the
mentor that you needed the most?Are you going to be the role
(09:01):
model that you needed the most? So with that man, let's go ahead
and get started with today's episode all right, so the first
thing man, first thing we got totalk about is the power of an
example. OK, now what thing we all know
about setting the example. In fact, it's a leadership
principle. Set the example, all right, like
it's bred into us like it's our bread and butter of you got to
(09:22):
be able to set the example and we understand that yes, I got to
be a good influence to the Marines up under me.
Matter of fact, let's just take the military off of the table.
I got to be a good role model inmy household, you feel me?
But a lot of people do not understand this.
When it comes down to being an example, people don't give a
fuck what you say. OK, I will say that again.
(09:43):
People don't give a fuck what you say.
They care about what you do. You could be motivational, you
can be charismatic, you can be, hey, go ahead and attack that.
He'll never give up. Be hard.
But the moment that they see yoube weak.
None of that shit fucking matters.
The moment that they see you notdisplay the things that you
(10:05):
preach, it don't fucking matter.You feel me like?
Like I don't think a lot of people understand man.
When you talk about the example,nobody gives a fuck about what
you say. You could say all the good
things in the world, but people won't want to see you actually
practice what you preach. I know a lot of people, man.
Like they know that story with me in the rope where I was at
(10:27):
the old course. I go through the old course, I
get to the rope. I can't climb the fucking rope.
You feel me? And next thing you know, I'm now
losing the entire competition because I couldn't climb the
rope. And I know y'all know the story
of the part where I fucking haveto keep climbing till my hands
are blistered today, till I keepfalling down today.
(10:48):
Just so swollen, like my forearms, they've swollen to the
point where I can't even grab the rope.
And I know y'all remember that part where I had everybody in my
squad watching me and they needed to see that, you know
what I mean? Like they needed to see that
because they needed to see me keep that exact same energy that
(11:10):
I tell them all the time to have.
I preach, never give up, never back down, never quit.
I tell them, you better have that exact same energy that you
had in the beginning that you have at the end, regardless of
how it plays out. And here I am in this moment,
right in this moment. And if it doesn't go my way, am
(11:34):
I going to back out? And I remember having everybody
around me watching me climb and climb and climb and fall and
climb and fall and climb until Icontinued to keep getting back
up because they needed to see it.
Did I want that? Hell no, bro.
(11:56):
If I had to be honest with you, I wish they would have left.
But I knew that if I wanted to maintain the the leadership that
I had in their eyes, right? Like if I wanted to maintain the
image that I had in their eyes, they had to see that.
And a lot of us were not fortunate to actually see our
leaders practice what they preach.
A lot of us, we weren't fortunate to see our parents
(12:19):
practice what are what, what they preach.
And it and it and it pains me, man, because a lot of people
don't understand what it means to truly be an example.
You sitting back and you tellingyour kids you know go to college
but you never went to college. The fuck you telling them man to
to make something of themselves but you never did.
(12:40):
It's hard for them to follow through when they ain't got
something to look at. You telling your Marines a do
this but you refuse to do it. Clean this but you ain't
cleaning it. Show up on time but you showing
late. Make sure your uniform is right
but your uniform look like shit.Our Marines, our children are
(13:01):
people that look up to us. They don't give a fuck about
what we say, they give a fuck about what we do.
Now one thing that I want to talk about is what a good
example is and what a bad example is.
And the key thing about this is that we know what good look like
and we know what bad look like. You feel me like good examples,
man, They take accountability. Ain't no excuses.
(13:24):
They practice what they preach. They doing the thing that they
said that they gon do. A good example is going to
finish exactly what they start. They going to show up on time
they go. They going to be able to control
their emotions. And we all know what a bad
example looks like, you feel me?Making excuses, always
complaining, passing the blame off to somebody else, doesn't
(13:46):
know how to control their emotions.
They do the opposite of what thefuck they're talking about.
We know what good and bad is, man.
We know what good and bad is. But the hard part about good and
bad is being able to be good allthe time.
And I'll tell you this right outthe gate, is it hard to be a
good example all the time? 100 percent, 100%, man, I'll be
(14:09):
lying to you. If as a father, I never just
show my ass in front of my kids before.
I ain't gonna lie. I ain't gonna lie to you if I
say as a leader of Marines, I ain't never show my ass.
But as as soon as I do that, I immediately revert back to
(14:30):
showing some type of what a goodexample is.
I own up to it. And I will tell you this right
now, man, it's a lot of us that grew up and we never got a
chance to see what a good example is, you feel me?
And I think a lot of people whenI hear, when they hear me say
this, they think like, oh, well,there was nobody in the house.
No, there was somebody in the house.
You feel me? I'll say that right now.
(14:51):
A lot of us grew up with an example.
It just wasn't a good one. So we know what it looks like to
not be able to control your emotions.
We know what it looks like when you don't follow through with
your word. We know what it looks like when
you don't show up on time. We know what it looks like when
you constantly complaining. We know what it looks like when
you constantly making excuses and the beauty and a bad
(15:11):
example, right? A beauty and a bad example is
because you only seem bad. You know what bad is.
You can immediately just do the opposite and you can just do
what good is. We all know that.
But The thing is, man, is that it's hard.
It's hard to maintain being a good example.
And I will always tell whoever is listening, please give
(15:32):
yourself grace. And this reminds me in a moment,
man, like I have my kids with me, right?
I have my kids with me. And it's like it was, it was
just a weird situation, man. Like it really was a weird
situation. And this guy like, like he said
something to me. He feel me like he said
something to me. Mind you, I got my children with
me. I got my children with me and I
(15:54):
I had to pick in this moment, amI going to be a good example or
am I going to be a bad example? You feel me and a lot of times,
and I don't know who need to hear this.
You may think that you about to do something bad and that may
actually be the best thing for you and your children.
You may think that this is setting a bad example and not
(16:15):
realize it's actually setting the best example for the people
that are looking up to you. And I had to heal from this one.
I had to really heal from this. You feel me?
Because I struggled with this for a while because I remember
saying to myself, I'll rip your fucking face off.
I'll rip your fucking face off. I ain't say it out loud because
I have my children with me, but I remember saying that in my
head and I remember thinking like, all I gotta do is just,
(16:38):
you know. And I did because I said to
myself that if I react right now, my kids just see a ugly
side of me. I'm thinking I'm standing on
business. Well, my children are about to
see a ugly side of me and this is about to escalate way past
what it need to be. So in that moment, right there,
(17:01):
rather than acting on what I felt like was the best thing,
would have actually had been theworst thing, I decided to show
control. You feel me?
I show control. And in that moment, my kids got
a chance to see what control looks like.
They got a chance to see what they dad looks like when he
controls his emotions. They got a chance to see all of
(17:24):
that. And I was able to set a good
example. Now Fast forward and this one
thing I love about lessons in life, they always tend to spin
the block, you know what I mean?Like they come back around.
Now my kids, they at the park and an incident happened.
My kids come home, they like this, Hey, somebody said
something, said something to us at the park.
I said, say less, say less. I'm on my way.
(17:48):
And I remember heading over there to the park.
I said, what's going on? What happened?
You feel me? Like what happened?
And it's like, hey, this guy told us that we need to watch
our mouths. We weren't even talking,
somebody else was, and then he gonna call the police on us.
I said, Oh no, absolutely not. I said, where is he at?
My son looked dead over and saidthere he is right there in this
(18:09):
moment. My kids are about to see me set
the best example that I could ever set because I went over
there. I so I pulled the guy off to the
side. I was like, hey man, like my
children telling me that that something was said to him.
He's like, Oh well, I just, you know, like all the hoop and
holler. And then he raised his voice at
me. You know what I mean?
And I stopped him right there. And I said, look, I'm not
(18:29):
raising my voice at you, so don't raise your voice at me.
What I am seeing right now, OK, is my children said that an
incident occurred. I'm addressing it if you have an
issue with me and that's what you need to do, you need to
address that with me now, with my children.
Man, I wish I could tell y'all deeper details to this, but let
(18:52):
me just explain something to you, all right?
To be able to do that for my children, to be able to set an
example to my children. Trust me, I'm from Detroit, MI,
I'm from the east side. The example I want to set ain't
the right one. You feel me?
Y'all already know exactly what I'm I want to do, but the
(19:14):
example that I did set, that my children got a chance to see was
probably one of the best examples that I will ever be
able to set as a father. I walked home mad and I just
couldn't believe that I maintained such control, such
poise, such confidence, and I backed my children.
And I say all of this man because there's moments where we
(19:35):
feel like right? Like we know what a good example
looks like, but our emotions maysay that this is the best
example. And in reality that may not even
be the case. You might accidentally set the
bad example thinking that it's the good one, and the good one
may actually be the one that youthink is bad.
But because you not used to setting that type in example, it
(19:58):
seems like it's bad. And when I say I walked away
with a completely different perspective about that man, like
man, it just felt amazing. I bring all of that back home
man, and just say this. There's a lot of us right now
that think that we ain't settingthe best example, not realizing
we sudden we send some of the greatest examples that our
(20:18):
children will ever see. I go back to the moment where I
was climbing that rope, not realize I'm setting a great
example for my Marines to see a leader that didn't back down,
that didn't give up, that practice, what he preached.
It may sucked in a moment, but alot of times, man, that's
exactly what that example is. Because at the end of the day,
(20:40):
they don't give a fuck about what you say.
They give a fuck about what you do.
Now, man, like I'm and, and thisright here is my favorite part,
man, is because when you realizethe example that you say, when
you realize the people that are looking up to you, when you look
at when you take a moment and you, you realize that there's
people that actually hold you ina high regard.
(21:01):
There's a certain belief that you end up adopting.
There's a certain responsibilitythat you take up under your
wing. You feel me?
And I, and I bring this up, man,because we're quick.
We're quick to give an excuse ofwhy we weren't able to
accomplish this. We're quick to give some type of
excuse of why we backed away, why we quit, why we gave up.
(21:21):
But I bet you right now, if yourchildren were watching you, you
wouldn't do that. You feel me?
Like if your kids was watching you in the moment where you
about to give up, I bet you right now you would you would
you would take a step back and be like hell no, not why they
there, because you know, you know that the example that you
setting is bad. And I bring that up, man,
(21:43):
because I don't know who need tohear this.
But when you give up, when you walk away, when you decide to
show your ass, you betray the belief that everybody has in
you. You fear me.
Like when you decide to show your ass, you betray everybody
that spoke highly of you. When you decide to give up,
(22:03):
right, you betray everybody thatbelieved in you.
And I say that man, because we live in this society right now.
We live in this era where we want people to believe in us,
but you not willing to give thema reason to believe.
Why the fuck you want me to believe?
If you going back out, you goingto make me look like a fool.
And I bring that up, man, because of the simple fact that
(22:24):
when you realize that you are example to many, when you
realize that you're an example to many, you will refuse to
quit. You will refuse to walk away.
You will refuse to not put a fight up because you know that
it's not, it's not you. It's bigger than you.
Now, as we come to a close to this episode, I really just want
(22:45):
to take a moment, man, and just say this.
I know I got parents, I got leaders, I got people, man, like
that are listening to this episode.
And I just really want you to just take a moment and just
realize that everything that youdo, it ain't just about you.
You striving to become a better version of yourself right now.
And that that better version is going to impact their community.
(23:07):
That better version is going to impact their children.
That better version is going to impact their generations.
It ain't just about you. And I want you to just take a
moment and realize, you feel me like, realize that everything
that you doing right now, somebody is rooting for you.
Somebody is looking up to you, somebody is believing in you and
(23:27):
you cannot let them down. And just like that, another
extraordinary thought left this ordinary mind.
I hope you enjoyed this episode half as much as I enjoy making
it. Don't forget to head on over to
your favorite streaming platform, whether that's apple
podcasts or Spotify podcasts andleave this podcast on honest
review because this podcast deserves to grow just as much as
we do Also don't forget to head on over to TikTok or Instagram
(23:49):
and follow me at Meech speaks. That's right, Meech speaks Meech
is spelled M EE Ch. Stay motivated, stay healthy.
I'm out.
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