April 10, 2024 • 44 mins
Jason sits down with Amanda Baudier, who journeyed from New York City's nightlife scene to embracing a life centered around mindfulness, health, and well-being. Amanda shares the tale of how a heart condition at 28 became the catalyst for a personal and professional transformation.
"It's not just about surviving; it's about thriving with awareness and joy."
- Amanda's Early Life and Career: Dive into Amanda's early career in the high-stakes world of NYC nightlife and her rapid ascent to success.
- Wake-Up Call: Learn about the critical health scare that prompted Amanda to reassess her lifestyle and career choices.
- Path to Healing: Explore the steps Amanda took towards recovery, including embracing mindfulness, yoga, and stress reduction techniques.
- Whole Person Coaching: Discover how Amanda's experiences inspired her to become a whole person executive coach, helping others balance success with well-being.
- Parenting Philosophy: Gain insight into Amanda's unique approach to parenting, shaped by her personal journey towards mindfulness and presence.
- Daily Practices: Amanda shares simple, yet powerful daily practices that anyone can adopt to live a more mindful and fulfilling life.
Amanda Baudier is an Executive Coach and Spiritual Guide who helps clients unlock joy in life & work. A multidisciplinary teacher, Amanda had an illustrious career in NYC, leading industry-defining businesses like Tao Group, Sakara Life and Melissa Wood Health before launching her own business.
After extreme burnout required her to have heart surgery at the age of 28, she dove deep into the world of holistic healing -- gaining certifications in a wide range of modalities including MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction), Somatic Experiencing, Yoga Therapy, Meditation, Holistic Health, and more.
A graduate of Columbia University, Amanda received her Executive Coaching certification from NYU, and has trained with luminaries in the spiritual world including Tara Brach and Jack Kornfeld.
In addition to her private coaching practice, Amanda teaches mindfulness, leads joy-centered retreats, and is the co-host of the Full Plate Full Cup podcast.
She now resides in the Shawangunk Mountains, with her husband and 2 kids -- just 2 hours but a far cry from NYC.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandabaudier/
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http://www.amandabaudier.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jason Frazell (00:12):
Everybody my guest on this show today is
Amanda Baudier.
Amanda is a whole personexecutive coach.
We're going to talk about whatthat means She's a mom, she's a
podcaster, she's a spiritualteacher, and I have to say this,
she's almost my neighbor, whichdoes not happen often on this
show.
I've talked to people in Asia, alot of people in the EU,
(00:33):
California.
We both live in the Catskills,which is not That common, we're,
we're, we're a whopping oneCounty apart.
So we're like, so we're actuallylike same time zone.
We're dealing the same weather.
I could drive and see you inlike an hour and a half, which
is really cool.
And we don't, and we didn't knoweach other until 15 minutes ago.
So Amanda, welcome.
So good to have you here.
Amanda Baudier (00:51):
Thanks so much.
Thanks for having me.
Jason Frazell (00:54):
Yeah.
So we're going to talk about avariety of things today, but
Amanda, you know, I was really,really intrigued by your story.
Because you've gone throughquite a transformation in your
life, like, like most of ushave, but you really had some
pretty impactful things happento you at a pretty young age.
So let's start is a little bitabout your background, what you
were doing in your twenties andlike what the moment of
(01:15):
reckoning was for you that hasyou here in a podcast.
Telling us your whole pro, wholeperson executive coach Yeah.
Because you probably didn'timagine that back in the day.
So
Amanda Baudier (01:23):
you know, I, I, I, you know, I was, I was on a
fast track somewhere back in theday, but I didn't think it was
here.
So, yeah.
You know, I was your in manyways typical overachiever.
Ivy League student.
I graduated a semester early.
I was in New York City atColumbia University.
And I just had I had a realdriving desire to be successful
(01:47):
and to make a name for myselfand to matter, which I think
most people that moved to NewYork City, right?
There's a, there's a piece ofthat.
They want to be successful.
Somebody they want to make aname for themselves.
And so I very early in arrivingto New York city stumbled upon
the party scene and thenightlife scene and thought,
wow, this is a great way to besomebody.
Like if you can do this, likeyou are, you're somebody.
And at that time what is now taugroup, which many people may
(02:11):
have heard of, it's a globalbillion dollar, you know,
hospitality business.
It was sort of just getting offthe ground.
They had a tau, the restaurantand marquee, the nightclub had
just opened.
And I applied to be theirintern.
The, the, the guys that, yeah, Iapplied to be the intern.
I was a junior at Columbia andthey, they hired me.
They were shocked that an Ivyleague kid wanted to come work
(02:33):
at a nightclub, but I knew thatthese guys were like the movers
and shakers in the industry.
If I wanted to get in, thesewere the people to be in with.
Right.
And so really like, as soon as Istarted working for them, I was
going to work every day fromnine to five unpaid internship,
mind you.
And then back in the day, wedidn't, you know, they didn't
pay us back in the day.
And then going to classes atColumbia from 610 to 855.
(02:56):
So basically two like hour and ahalf, you know, classes every
night which meant after that itwas.
studying.
It was homework.
It was partying.
It was nightlife.
And I kept up that pace formany, many years.
I graduated early to get a jobwith them.
I became a partner when I was27.
And the next year I was going toa routine doctor checkup.
(03:19):
And my doctor said, Amanda, yourpulse is completely erratic.
You need to go to a cardiologistright now.
And I was like, what are youtalking about?
I'm fine.
I was vegan.
I was, I was actually acertified yoga teacher and a
vegan at this time.
I was like in great shape.
You know, quote unquotethriving.
I mean, I was quite stressed andquite, you know, working crazy
hours, but in my mind, I wascrushing it and many other
(03:42):
people's minds.
I was crushing it.
And you know, to kind of cut tothe chase of many, many doctor's
appointments, my heart wasskipping every third beat.
So highly, highly erraticarrhythmia, very dangerous.
Could have dropped dead prettymuch at any second.
And I, I was having faintingspells and things, but I didn't
really think there was anythingwrong with me, which sounds
(04:02):
crazy, but you know, it's likepeople go undetected with these
things.
So.
I had to get heart surgery, notopen heart surgery, but a
catheter ablation.
And at the time, you know, therewas a lot of talk of, well, you
need to take this medicationforever.
You need to get on a pacemaker.
And I was like, what the, youknow, can I cuss?
(04:23):
You
Jason Frazell (04:23):
can definitely cuss, please do.
Amanda Baudier (04:25):
What the fuck?
You know, I felt, I had so muchshame because.
I would be in the doctor'soffice and everyone there was
like 75.
It was like these old peoplewhose hearts were giving out,
you know?
And it's me, I'm 28 and my highheels and my phone in one hand
and my Blackberry in the other.
And I'm like, I gotta hurry, Igotta get back to work, you
(04:45):
know?
And you know, the amount that Iwas working, the stress, the
anxiety, It's the late nightsand of course, you know, all of
our bodies are different.
Some people suffer from guthealth issues when they're
overstressed.
Some people it's mental health,right?
I was, I was sort of mentally,emotionally quote unquote fine,
but my heart could not keep upwith the pace of the way that I
(05:05):
was working.
And so I made the decision totake a sabbatical.
And as I mentioned, I wasalready a trained yoga teacher,
which is pretty fuckinghilarious.
You know this stressed out,burned out yoga teacher, you
know New York city yogateachers.
That's who we are.
And during that year I gotcertified in MBSR, which is
(05:26):
mindfulness based stressreduction.
This is a school of thoughtdeveloped by John Kabat Zinn at
Harvard.
So sort of clinical mindfulness.
I went to Institute ofintegrative nutrition.
became a certified holistichealth coach.
I got a Reiki certification.
I did an integrative yogatherapy certification.
I mean, I really, I call it likemy study abroad year in being a
(05:48):
well person, but I really,really went deep into really
understanding, okay, how do Inot kill myself?
Like, how do I, not die.
And, and what's interesting isat that time, I knew nothing
about the nerve.
I had no idea what the nervoussystem was.
I didn't know about vassal vagaltheory and the connection
between, you know, the, the mindbody and, and all of that stuff.
(06:11):
I had vague, vague understandingof it from my yoga studies, but
I learned so much in that yearthat I was able to bring back
when I, you know, when I cameback to New York city and was
like, Oh, I, I want to still bea working person.
I still want to be successful.
I just don't want to kill myselfwhile doing it.
So, you know, you know, whatI'll say is I think a lot of
people get mini wake up calls.
(06:32):
I'm actually kind of lucky thatI got such a big one.
There was, there was no playingaround for me.
I knew that I had to change mylife.
In order to keep living my life,I, you know, it wasn't like, Oh,
my acne got really bad or like,Oh, I'm like, I'm not pooping
every day.
You know, no, I had heartsurgery.
So yeah,
Jason Frazell (06:50):
you had heart surgery.
Yeah.
Amanda Baudier (06:51):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jason Frazell (06:53):
Oh, that's I have so many questions.
I think the, the, the, the, themain thing that pops up for me
is how much of that.
You said you felt fine, a lot,but you also had fainting
spells.
I'll speak, I like, I'm gonnaspeak for myself.
There's been times in my lifewhere you tell yourself, Oh, I'm
totally fine.
But when you look back, you'relike, Oh my gosh, there were so
(07:15):
many signs.
Anybody who was fainting shouldprobably go get something
checked out.
Or the fact that you werefeeling a certain thing.
What part about That story I'mtrying to think how to say this.
Smells like bullshit No, no,it's like it's like it's like
I'm picturing your drive Justmasking this whole other thing
(07:37):
that was actually going on likeyou're insatiable It's like an
insatiable desire for successthat just has you Just ignore
your body.
And now that you're more of abody, like, you know, this.
Amanda Baudier (07:50):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jason Frazell (07:52):
I'm going to get clinical.
Amanda Baudier (07:53):
Yeah.
I'm going to get clinical withyou for a second.
So I'm, I'm also, I'm in mythird year of a certification in
something called somaticexperiencing, which is sort of
like the gold standard fortrauma informed nervous system
care.
So, you know, everybody'sfamiliar at this point with
fight flight freeze.
And when our nervous system ishighly activated, it hijacks the
(08:13):
other systems.
Such as rest and digest, right?
So that is why so many people,when they're in extended chronic
stress, fight mode, flight mode,whatever your kind of natural
thing is, your body stopsdigesting food while you can't
sleep, right?
You have those types of healthconcerns.
There is another.
layer.
And so what I had was calledbasal vagal syncope, which was
(08:34):
basically I was fainting becausemy heart wasn't rushing blood to
my brain quickly enough.
And the reason for that wasbecause my nervous system
thought that there were othermore important things it needed
to do.
Like my nervous system wasinsane.
such chaos that it actuallythought that like, we can't do
(08:57):
this.
Like just, it's like a, it'slike a extreme flight response.
Just pass out.
Right.
So animals in the wild do this.
Right.
But the crazy thing is, youknow, now I'm an executive
coach.
I have other clients whoexperienced this same thing.
Totally.
And, you know, what I had toldmyself back then, which is also
true is that I have low, I justhave low blood pressure.
(09:19):
Oh, I just didn't eat enoughtoday.
Oh, you know, of course.
Yeah.
But, but our, our nervoussystem, it is responsible for so
much more than we even realize.
And like, if people takeanything away from this episode,
it's like, Oh, my God.
Go research your nervous system.
Not on Tik TOK, although there'sgood people, there's good people
out there, but like, likeresearch your nervous system and
really get an understanding oflike, ha, this has been running
(09:41):
my whole life and I maybe didn'tunderstand just how much control
it had over me.
Jason Frazell (09:46):
Yeah, Amanda, thank you for sharing all that.
I want to I want to do a callback here to an episode I did
with my my friend.
Dr.
Eugene Choi a few weeks ago, andhe he's a coach as well He's a
he's actually a pharmacist bytrade and he's done a lot of
neurological studies neurologyis his thing and He talks a lot
about Your executive state andyour survival state and in your
(10:09):
survival state of the fight,flight or freeze response and
how a lot, a lot of the thingsin culture that are attributed
to like powerful ways of workingare actually just a fight,
flight or freeze response.
Yeah, my assertion would be, andI, from knowing you for a whole
like 25 minutes now, I guessyou're gonna agree this.
It sounds like you're in yoursurvival state almost all the
(10:31):
time.
Amanda Baudier (10:31):
100%.
Jason Frazell (10:33):
You're like, you're pretty much your fight
state of like driven.
Fight the fight state of that
Amanda Baudier (10:38):
100%.
And then when my body couldn'tdo anymore, I would go into a
severe state of flight, whichwould be passing out.
Right.
And and, and, you know, like,more people are experiencing
this than realized just becausethey didn't have, like I said,
as extreme of a wake up call asme, they're experiencing it in
smaller ways.
And so it's easier to have it goundetected.
Jason Frazell (10:57):
Yeah, so obviously you're extremely
intelligent, you talked aboutthe things you've done, your
education, you went to a greatschool, I'm just going to assume
that means, assume that means alittle something about you, not
as much as maybe we'd make itout to be, but it means
something.
Looking back now at all theeducation that you, that you at
the time had done, was your, wasyour creativity limited by
(11:18):
operating in that survivalstate?
Because that's usually the firstthing that goes.
Amanda Baudier (11:22):
You know.
When I think back about theperson that I was at that stage,
not just creativity, but allfunctioning that required actual
presence, so real joy, realconnection, real creativity when
(11:45):
we are in A highly activated,dysregulated nervous system
state, we almost like, you know,the saying, we don't know what
we don't know we get sodisconnected from the parts of
us that are able to, you know,like, so the, the, the more
regulated state, right?
It's connection.
(12:06):
It's rest.
It's a more, you know, in, injust like in our biology, right?
When we're, when we'reregulated, we have a really wide
purview, right?
Our, our peripheral vision isonline.
And when we're in fight mode,it's like, we can only see the
laser in front of us.
And and I, and I want people toknow that like when you're in
that state, it's not a choice.
(12:28):
It's not like you'reintentionally saying, no, I want
to, I'm this driven and I onlywant to focus on this.
And I'm, you know, your nervoussystem makes it feel like you
don't have any other option.
And so, you know, I, I work witha lot of people now who are kind
of in, in that state and tryingto get out of that state.
I have so much compassion for itbecause gosh, it, it, it's, it's
(12:50):
a prison.
Jason Frazell (12:53):
It's extremely useful in certain circumstances.
It's just wildly useful.
Like you said, yeah, you're aparent.
I'm a parent.
You see your kid about to getinto danger.
I don't want to be creativeabout what I'm going to do.
I want to be able to do thatwithout any thinking.
My guess is if I was to I coacha lot of these similar people
too.
It was kind of me in my 20s aswell.
(13:14):
I'm I'm picturing if I was to goback and interview people who
knew you then, they'd be like,she'll run through a fucking
brick wall to get it done, she'sreliable, she'll get it done,
she's gonna be awesome at it,but like, hard to connect with,
and not a lot of like, visionarythinking.
Cause that's generally thesurvival state you go to.
Amanda Baudier (13:32):
You know, what's interesting about me and well,
I, you know, I'm also studyingto be a trauma therapist, so we
can go to the trauma side too I,they often refer to me as a
machine because of the sheerlevel of output that I was able
to, you know, I was able to dothe work of four or five people,
no problem, but I'm also aperformer, and so I was very
(13:53):
able to have people feel likethey could connect with me, I
wasn't actually connecting withpeople.
So it is very, if you have acertain type of personality, if
you're a performer and a peoplepleaser you can put on, you
know, and I did sales for aglobal hospitality firm.
I was charming as fuck.
(14:14):
I wasn't allowing people to seeme or know me.
I wasn't experiencing, you know,deep, intimate connection.
And so, and that's also, youknow, quite, quite damaging as
well to feel like nobody reallyknows you, but gosh, you're so
popular.
Jason Frazell (14:28):
Yeah.
Hmm.
Now you're, so you're a parentnow and I think your kids are on
there.
Your kids aren't, They're stillin elementary school or younger.
So they're, they're movingthrough the last, what I would
say, the less driven part ofacademics as a younger age, but
it's not too far off wherethey're going to start to think
about high school, college, thatcompetitiveness of that.
(14:49):
Yeah.
And that is such masculineenergy to me on the outside
looking at it.
We have kids that are about thesame age of like, It's all about
the performance and how you doit.
I'm curious as a, as a parent,how do you look at that now,
knowing what, you know?
Amanda Baudier (15:03):
Yeah, I mean, it's, it's pretty funny.
I mean, I I've gone, I don'twant to say completely into the
opposite direction, but I'mgonna give you a quote by Deepak
Chopra that kind of summarizesmy, my thinking on parenting,
which is he said, if my kid wasexcelling at tennis and.
getting, you know, flunking atmath.
(15:25):
I wouldn't get him a math tutor.
I'd get him a tennis coach.
And so, you know, what he'ssaying there is like, you should
work hard and you should puteffort forth and you should
develop skills and talents, butnot in this sort of like,
maniacal, everything has to beperfect, straight A kind of way.
And look, like, that is notnecessarily congruent with what
(15:47):
society typically andhistorically has valued.
However, what you and I know asentrepreneurs, and my husband is
also an entrepreneur, is that itdoesn't matter if you got a 4.
0 in high school, if you have askill or a talent that you are
that you have mastery in, thatyou develop, that you commit
(16:09):
yourself to, that you areearnest and hardworking and
dependable.
And I would rather see mychildren.
excel in something that theyhave a natural aptitude gift and
love for, then get like straightA's across the board.
And if that means, you know,they go to a different type of
college than I went to, look, Iwent to Columbia.
My husband went to Columbia.
(16:30):
I don't give a shit where mykids go to college, to be honest
with you.
It's a different, it's adifferent era.
It also doesn't it's notsomething that I feel would make
me feel particularly proud orunproud if they wanted to do it
and they were, you know, andthey had the skills and the
grades and the scores.
I wouldn't say, no, I don't wantyou to go there.
(16:50):
That's an elite, you know,organization, whatever.
But I'm not going to be, youknow, like, I'm like, God bless
my parents.
But my, my dad would like, referto us as like, where, where we
went to college.
I've got the Duke, the Yale, andthe Columbia, you know, like
those are the, the, the threekids.
And like, look, my dad grew up,he didn't have a dad, he was
dirt, dirt, dirt poor.
(17:10):
Both my parents were dirt, dirt,dirt poor.
So like that sort of immigrantsuccess story of, of, of, you
know, kids going to a goodcollege.
But guess what?
It was fucked up.
I've been doing trauma healingand therapy for, you know, 20
years and so have my siblings.
And so.
You know, and, and, and I don'tknow that all of that struggle
(17:31):
and that pushing and thatnecessitation of the perfect SAT
scores and all of that.
I don't know if that actually,you know, got me any further
along in life than I would haveif I had been happier and more
regulated and just allowed topursue my own.
Passions.
So, you know,
Jason Frazell (17:49):
I love it.
Yeah.
I have another parentingquestion.
I'm being selfish because I'masking, I'm asking you a
question, but I'm asking you,and then I want to, I want to
talk, the next thing I want totalk about is happiness.
Cause I know something you worka lot with clients on and have
had your own journey that youstarted to share is your oldest
is, was born in 2015.
So they're either eight or eightor nine.
Yep.
What are the boy or girl boy,what are you seeing in his
(18:12):
personality now?
Cause I, we have an eight yearold as well.
I'm starting to see thepersonality come out in terms of
the, the drive versus I thinkmost kids are driven in some
way, but what are you startingto spot in his personality that
reminds you of yourself?
Amanda Baudier (18:27):
Yeah, there's things I see that are similar,
and there's things that I seethat are, that are very
different.
And I do think part of it is thedifference in upbringing.
A different type of attachmentto a parent, a different type of
response from a parent matters alot.
My son is obsessed withfootball, not just playing
football, but every aspect ofit.
You could ask him any player,any team, he knows stats, he
(18:48):
knows scores.
And so I see the, the passion.
He's also I, I, he considershimself to be the best in his
class in math.
You know, he's very likeconfident and excited about his
ability in math.
And so I'm going to plug my afriend of mine has a business
called Curious Cardinals.
And it's this program where yousign up a kid K through 12 with
(19:10):
a college student and they dolike a mentoring project with
them where it's like some typeof project that the kid helps
design.
Right.
But I'm going to have himpartner with someone to do like
a sports scores analytics.
program, right?
Because I'm taking, okay, whatis my kid obsessed with?
What is he motivated by?
Where does it intersect withsomething that actually is
(19:33):
beneficial to like school andfuture and all that?
And how can I make itinteresting and fun and like,
you know, push him further onthe things that he's obsessed
with.
That to me feels like how I wantto motivate my kid.
And, and to be honest, like, I,this is, you know, I, I had a
conversation with him a coupleof weeks ago cause we did his
like parent teacher conference.
Right.
Right.
And I'm like, look, you're alittle overly chatty if you
(19:57):
didn't, you know, if you got togo to the bathroom and you
didn't ask, I'm not going to getmad at you about stuff like
that.
Jason Frazell (20:01):
Right.
Don't be a, don't
Amanda Baudier (20:01):
be an asshole.
Don't hurt anybody.
And don't be an asshole.
And you know, my, my feeling islike in the world that we live
in now, the way that peoplebecome successful is so
different than it used to be.
None of the old shit.
Like, it is guaranteed to work.
So my thing is, if you're thetype of people, type of people,
(20:23):
type of person that people wantto be around, it is so much more
likely that you are going to besuccessful because people will
want to have you on their team,whatever it is, right?
And so I can have a kid who hasgood morals, you know, decent
level of just like respect and,and you know, empathy for other
(20:44):
humans and is happy.
Right.
Speaking of happiness, if hegoes and applies for a job, he's
going to be light years aheadof, you know, other, other
people.
So that's, that's my, my take.
It's like double down on theshit that they're obsessed with
and maybe not put as muchpressure on them on the other
stuff, as long as it's not like,you know, violence or
Jason Frazell (21:03):
being a
Amanda Baudier (21:05):
bully, right.
You know, that type of stuff.
Jason Frazell (21:07):
Yeah, I think this is my, I'll give you a
quick, my perspective on thiswith, with AI and a lot of the
technology that's available now,the kind of the X, the pure
expertise jobs is that valuableas valuable anymore.
Totally.
Like look, yeah.
I mean, look at the thing, lookat the things that 30 years ago
were arguably the most valuablethings that now, and I, and I, I
(21:32):
had this experience on, have youseen the movie Oppenheimer?
Amanda Baudier (21:34):
No, no, I've heard I've read about it.
Yeah.
Jason Frazell (21:38):
Yeah, but it went best picture.
It's amazing But I was you know,like the the pure scientific
Marvel that was in 1944 I thinkmost of what they did you could
probably plug into chat GPT andget an answer for now Yeah, and
I mean they built a bomb theybuilt a bomb that you know, like
yeah, so it's amazing And it'snot to say that there isn't
(21:58):
there's a lot of room for theintellectualism and all those
but like how you treat people Isthe thing now?
Yeah Yeah, totally.
Yeah.
So I wanna talk about the I wantto talk about happiness and in a
specific way here, Amanda.
One thing that I hear.
In my practice, I, we, we, wecoach different types of folks,
(22:20):
I think, or maybe we probablycoach the same type of people.
Here a lot is I don't have time.
I don't understand the value andspecifically in the realm of
like combining your spiritual,like your spiritual practices or
what that means to you with whoyou, I call that like who you
are in the world.
And then there's the, who youare in the world.
And then there's the, what areyou, or like your, your, you
(22:41):
probably heard that your formand your function.
And My form is this thing thatis like not related to what I do
and then it likely influences myfunction But you hear people go.
I don't have time for that.
I don't have time to meet with acoach I don't I don't have time
to dig in on these thingsbecause I'm busy doing blank
making money raising kids andJust to call it out This is for
(23:01):
men and women, but myexperience, especially with
women is i'm not worth it I'mnot worth actually investing in
myself I'm not and i'm talkingabout like the time and energy
part forget the money you couldbe a billionaire But like oh,
you know what i'm not worthactually getting to know myself
in that way Yeah from and i'msure you hear this all the time
So i'd love to just bring theconversation to the kind of work
you do and things that you'velearned for yourself Which it
(23:23):
sounds like?
And I, I love this'cause inpersonal brain, so I was like,
the person you're best equippedto serve is a person you once
were.
Yeah.
So you're like, oh, like, oh,you're like, you're like,
there's Amanda.
There's Amanda from five yearsago, or Yeah.
Yeah.
Sometimes you, so do you everhave the experience as a coach
where you're like, oh, there'sAmanda from yesterday?
Amanda Baudier (23:38):
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Oh, there's Amanda from today.
There's Amanda from thismorning, right?
Yeah.
You're, oh, wow.
Jason Frazell (23:43):
You're like, you're like, oh, wow.
There's a saying in the coachtraining.
I went, program went through.
It's great.
It's like generally your clientsare, are usually like one step
behind or one step ahead of you.
Yeah, 100%.
And as a coach.
That's like, it's, and it's sofascinating where you're like,
that's the exact same thing thatI talked to my coach or my
therapist about.
Yeah.
100%.
Amanda Baudier (23:59):
100%.
Yeah.
So I'll start with sort of whatI say to the most cynical of
people or, or I would say eventhe most cynical, cause I used
to be cynical.
I used to be dark, man.
I used to like, I used to thinkeverything was.
Like, so stupid.
Like, Oh God, how cheesy isthat?
But I, I talk about somethingcalled pragmatic positivity.
(24:20):
So what I mean by this is ifyou're running a business, if
you're working at a company,right, there is a certain level
of positivity that is requiredin, order for things to move
forward and for them to moveforward efficiently and well,
right?
Whether that's motivating otherpeople, whether that's getting
consumers to pick up what you'reputting down, whether that is
(24:43):
instituting enough confidence incolleagues or whatever to make
people not be in a state offear.
Right.
And so cultivating positivitycan be done solely for
pragmatic.
Reasons when you are in a fullynegative, fearful, judgmental,
(25:03):
overwhelmed state, it is havingnegative impact on how how
impactful you can be, right?
Whether you're, you're running ateam reporting to somebody, you
know, whatever you're doing inlife, if you are a negative sack
of shit, like you are notgetting the results that you
could have.
So I start with that, right?
Even if you don't want to do itfor any sort of personal
(25:27):
development, altruistic, youknow, reason, let's at least do
it because your KPIs aresuffering, right?
Because your your, the copy thatyou're writing is not engaging
your consumer because it's not,It's coming from a place of
overwhelm, you know,unhappiness, et cetera, et
cetera.
So I start with that and, andthat generally, cause some
(25:50):
people come to me when the sparkis like almost out, right?
When they're like, Oh my God,you know, and that, You're my
last
Jason Frazell (25:57):
hope, Amanda.
Amanda Baudier (25:58):
Yeah.
Literally, literally.
No pressure.
No pressure.
But, but when I talk aboutpragmatic positivity, so you're
familiar with parts work, you'vedone therapy, right?
And so I talk about parts work alot in my coaching because there
is a, there is a piece of youthat is a cynical piece of shit.
And it's going to think any loveand light spiritual stuff is a
(26:21):
bunch of BS.
Totally.
And you have to appease thatpart of you before the other
parts of you can even comeonline for many of us, right?
And so I talk about pragmaticpositivity because I want
someone to say, you know what,fuck, I do have to do this.
Not because I want to be happy,even though they do but because
(26:41):
my team, why do all my directreports hate me?
Right?
Why, why am I not gettingpromoted or whatever the thing
that's going wrong?
And it's like, wow.
Like.
You can use positivity verystrategically to like, you know,
improve on key markers that arecurrently suffering.
Right?
So I start with that.
So that the part of them that iscynical, that is totally burnt
(27:04):
out, that is totallyoverwhelmed, that has no time
for nonsense, right?
Quote unquote nonsense.
Well, listen, right?
And then I generally, so in theworld of somatic experiencing,
right, we want people to sensewhat something feels like in
their body.
And I love to give peopleactions to do and just like,
(27:26):
just do this and let me know howit feels.
Just do it.
Let me know how it feels.
If you don't like it, great.
I don't care.
If you love it, amazing.
We'll talk about it next time.
Or I'll give peopleintrospection prompts to like,
think about how certainactivities make them feel or not
feel.
And the thing is, what I believeabout the human spirit and the
human nature is that we are amoth to the flame.
(27:48):
to the flame of joy, right?
Like we are so drawn to it andwe really want it.
But there's so many things inthe way.
There's so many things blockingour ability to just gravitate
towards it.
And some of those we can't doanything about, right?
Like not everything is likeclear it away and Oh, like
(28:09):
living in the perfect, you know,but, but many things are many
things are, and some of the mostSome of the most important
things are very, very malleable.
And so the thing is, is like,Once you get someone to just
have a taste, see a glimmer,right, it is very easy.
(28:30):
And that's why I have certainclients.
Like when I work with someonewho's like an active CEO of a
company, they get on retainer.
We work together years at atime, right?
If someone has a specificproject or a specific problem
that they're trying to solve, Ialways tell them three months.
That's all we need by the end ofthree months.
You'll be able to do thisyourself.
Like, you know, I don't want tosit there and and have, you
(28:51):
know, I mean, I love having niceconversations with people,
obviously, but like, my goal islike, let me reignite the little
spark and then you can keepthat, that flame going.
And maybe in a year, if you'relike, Oh God, I totally lost
that lost that momentum, butit's not like, I find that that
joy cultivation is not like dietor exercise where it's actually
(29:15):
like really easy to fall off thewagon when it comes to like
working out or eating healthy,because there's a lot of
pleasure that can come fromeating unhealthy or sloth.
Right.
Whereas if I'm encouragingpeople, like something I love to
tell people to do, which is sobasic.
Go for a phone free walk, justgo for a phone free walk.
Notice things 10 minutes isfine.
(29:37):
Leave your phone behind and gofor a walk.
And people are like, that wasamazing.
Jason Frazell (29:44):
They're like, Amanda, I was laughing because I
was like, can I, can I stillbring my Apple watch, but
Amanda Baudier (29:51):
that's the thing, you know, that's the
thing.
And and so once people do it Ilove to see like the light
return to people.
And I love people hopping onto acolumn being like, Oh my God, I
did this.
And then I knew that.
And I, you know, and I'm like,yeah, this is, this is you, this
is the real you coming backonline, you know?
Jason Frazell (30:10):
Yeah.
I have something to offer herearound.
One of the things that my,somebody I trained with one of
the, my mentors, she saidsomething to me.
And she said, and she wasn't mycoach, she was just like, like a
training mentor, and I'm sureyou run into this all the time
because high performance peopledo this all the time, including
myself.
(30:31):
And she'd say, I'd ask you howyou feel about something and you
would give me a story or anexplanation or you'd
intellectualize it, but Ihaven't yet heard how you
actually feel.
And then she'd go, do you knowhow you feel?
And I go, I'm not sure.
Yeah.
Like I can tell you.
The story of why I might feel acertain way and I can like
(30:51):
logically give you the, this islike the head based stuff,
right?
Of like, here's all the reasons,here's all the reasons why it's
not going well at work.
Like you, right.
Have you ever had a client whereyou go, Hey Amanda, How's it
going at work and they'll giveyou the all the stuff which is
great You know, how do you feelabout that?
And then they'll continue totell you the reasons why but
they will not tell you how theyfeel about it And I yeah, you
(31:14):
know and one of the things theysay in therapy and coaching and
you you spot it you got it Irecognize it because I do it to
myself Yeah, you're like you'relike, yeah, but I'm not am I
even pretty I know that I have afeeling but am I even present?
To what that feeling totally?
Yeah to me to me is somebodywho's You I'm working on my
spiritual journey.
I was sharing a little bit withyou before you record to me.
That is the aspect of spirit,the spiritual journey that
(31:37):
everybody should get access to.
Amanda Baudier (31:39):
Yeah, absolutely.
And you know, I I've been aspiritual student and a
spiritual practitioner,spiritual teacher for a long
time, even when I was a hotmess.
You know, like I took BobThurman's class at Columbia when
I was like 19 years old and was,you know, got really into yoga,
got really into Hinduism, gotreally into Buddhism.
I was Catholic growing up andactually like loved going to
(32:00):
church and teaching Sundayschool and singing in church and
all of that stuff.
Jason Frazell (32:03):
Yeah.
Amanda Baudier (32:04):
And I, I, I, I've gone down a lot of
different paths pretty deeply.
And the way that I view andteach spirituality now is like
the most simple, like thisdistilled version of
spirituality, which is I wantpeople to go out and look at
(32:24):
their sky and put their feet onthe sky.
their ground and love that andsee the plants that are growing
where they are and the animalsthat are walking around in their
area, even if it's a dog on aleash, right?
It's like your connection to,you know, I used to exoticize it
so much.
You know, when I was on mysabbatical, I went to India and
(32:45):
like, you know, was it all thetemples in India?
I've been to Bali.
I did all of that stuff.
And, you know, I enjoyed it.
I have no problem with peoplewho changed their name to Shakti
and whatever, like do what feelsright to you.
But for me, I'm like, gosh, theholiest experiences that I've
ever had is like holding mychild's hand or like seeing the
(33:06):
sky, you know, look a certainway.
And when you look at likeindigenous cultures and now
like, you know, lots of peopleare, are, are we.
Very, you know, sometimesproblematically, but revisiting
and understanding this sort ofindigenous way of being in
connection with the land andreciprocity and just the kind of
(33:26):
like simple beauty ofspirituality being infused to
everything and every action andevery day.
And, you know, That doesn'trequire learning Sanskrit.
It doesn't require wearing acertain outfit.
It doesn't require, it doesn'trequire you to change anything
about who you are, where youare, what you're doing, how
(33:48):
you're saying it.
It's noticing, noticing,appreciating, and then maybe
like pausing just a little bitlonger.
And that is a, an amazingspiritual practice.
Amazing.
Pausing.
Who has time to pause?
No way.
Jason Frazell (34:06):
Certainly not me.
Amanda Baudier (34:07):
Yeah, you know, and the funny thing about about
pausing is that it's kind oflike like you feel sneaky at
first, you know, you're like,Ooh, can I, is this, am I being
bad?
Can I do this?
And then once you get away withit, you know, and you're like,
Ooh.
And so.
going back to the pragmaticthing.
(34:28):
I, I really try to reinforcewith my clients and honestly, I
still have to do it with myself,although now it's so part of who
I am and what I do.
My spiritual practices are quiteextensive.
I can
Jason Frazell (34:38):
imagine.
Amanda Baudier (34:39):
It makes you better in all the other facets
of your life.
It is not just it's not justfun.
It doesn't just feel good,right?
Like I would not be able to dothe work that I do in the way
that I do it if I were not.
In stillness, if I were notgoing on my nature walks and
(35:00):
doing my breath and mymeditation, I wouldn't be the, I
certainly would not be theparent that I am because
parenting takes all of yourcapacity to show up and be
present and be patient and beconnected.
It's so demanding energetically.
And.
You know, and, and if I didn'tdo my, if I didn't have my, my
(35:22):
time pausing, I wouldn't be ableto do those things.
And do I like them and enjoythem?
And are they fun?
Yeah, that too.
But if that's not enough forpeople, like, just know that
it's gonna make you, you know, Ican, and I can list all the
famous people like Phil Jacksonand whatever, you know, all
these people that meditate.
Well, why do they do it?
It's not just because they havea lot of time on their hands.
Jason Frazell (35:42):
No, Phil Jackson's a Zen master.
They called him Zen master.
Yeah, that was his nickname.
Yeah, his nickname.
So Amanda, because I love when Iget brilliant folks on my
podcast like you, to steal someof your, steal some of your
brilliance for free for people,and I don't say steal, but I
would love to hear, I'd love tohear Let's say this is a call in
show.
I'm just making this up.
(36:03):
It's a call in show.
Somebody calls in.
It says this all sounds amazingI don't know what to do next.
What's the thing like let's sayyou have and maybe the context
that does work or that's veryApropos for you is they hire you
as their coach or they don'thire you as their coach for a
million reasons But they say youknow what?
I just I need to get startedsomewhere.
(36:24):
Yeah, what's the thing thatpeople will go this all
resonates?
I know that I think most humanslike we intuitively know there's
a spirit thing whether or notit's religious But there's
something that's about us and itgets killed for many of us
myself included throughPressures work and parenting and
all those things and they'relike I want more access to that
thing What's the thing yougenerally would say to somebody
(36:45):
that feel that feels like eventhough we probably know they're
not they're starting at all One,like they're starting at one.
What do you have people do?
Like, what's the first thing youhave people start to practice?
Amanda Baudier (36:55):
Yeah.
So there's two things I wouldsay, and it will depend on what
like one or the other would bemore impactful, whether you're
somebody who's more like bodyoriented or like mind verbal
oriented.
So.
The first thing, which is moresort of body nervous system
oriented, which is to thinkabout nervous, your nervous
system, like you brush yourteeth.
Right?
So not that, not that you haveto have some extended crazy
(37:18):
routine or any specialaccessories, but you better
fricking do it in the morningand at night or like you're
going to have problems.
Right?
So can you, when you first wakeup, take break.
One minute, right?
Maybe three, but like even aminute to pause, either sit with
your feet flat on the ground orgo into like a child's pose.
(37:38):
I have some clients who I will,they will have a yoga mat just
laying right by their bed as areminder so that when they first
wake up, Instead of going rightto the phone, instead of going
right to the frantic, do achild's pose for 60 seconds and
breathe.
Let your nervous systemregulate.
Just notice how your body'sfeeling.
Ask yourself what's racing in mymind.
(38:00):
Just check in literally 60seconds.
And then go on your day and thesame thing before bed, right?
Instead of letting your phone bethe last thing you say, sit and
breathe for six and 60 secondsis not enough to get you into
the parasympathetic.
It's not enough to like shiftyou, but it is enough to get
awareness.
And like, as you start to dothat, you're like, okay, I have
(38:22):
a little bit of data.
What's going on with me.
Jason Frazell (38:24):
Yeah.
The
Amanda Baudier (38:25):
other thing is journaling and like people roll
their eyes at journaling.
But what I will often givepeople as a prompt is write to
your journal as if somebody whocould help you with all your
problems was listening.
Jason Frazell (38:41):
Oh, that's good.
Amanda Baudier (38:41):
Today was really rough.
I like that.
And I just like, I don't knowwhat I want to do about this.
Like my daughter's reallystruggling here, this and you
know, I really hope you can helpme with this.
Right.
And it's like.
Are you writing to God, writingto spirit, writing to your
higher self, you're writing toyour, your, you know, in
therapy, they talk about theideal parent, you're writing to
the whoever it is, right?
Like, put it out there thatthere could be some form of
(39:03):
support.
And at the very least, it's abrain dump.
And it's a processing.
Jason Frazell (39:09):
I love that.
Amanda Baudier (39:09):
And and maybe it opens, you know, a little portal
where you're like, Oh, maybethere is divine assistance, Out
there that I actually believe inor that I could access
Jason Frazell (39:17):
Yeah, i'm gonna i'm gonna own something here Not
live with you and I in thepodcast before we I want to talk
about a little bit about yourpodcast All the ways people can
connect with you, but I had anintuitive hit to ask you a
question And i'm hoping this isimpactful for the audience.
I'm just following it amanda.
What would you tell?
23 year old columbia graduateamanda.
(39:37):
What do you want?
What would you tell her and i'masking you this because i'm
guessing you've done thisrepeatedly based on what you've
shared with us Like what wouldyou tell her?
Amanda Baudier (39:45):
It's very interesting and I would, and
this is once again going back tomy childhood trauma, I, I,
there's not much I would say toher.
I would sit her down and I wouldhold her.
I would hold her and I wouldstroke her head and I would tell
her that, That she's doing agreat job and that, you know,
(40:06):
you don't need to push thishard.
You don't need, you know.
Jason Frazell (40:09):
Mm.
Amanda Baudier (40:09):
There, there is there is a, a, a, a, a certain,
you know, type of person, and Ithink it's many of us, for whom
love was not something wereceived.
Love was something that wesecured.
Right?
Jason Frazell (40:23):
And there's a
Amanda Baudier (40:23):
big difference from receiving love and then
actively securing love.
And you know, many spiritualssay that people will say that
all we're ever really seeking islove, right?
If we're seeking success, fame,money, whatever, all we're ever
really seeking is love.
And so a great, a great kind ofyou know, giving, and this is my
like number one piece ofparenting advice, right?
(40:45):
And it's like, Like love yourchildren when they're not doing
something praiseworthy, right?
Like just love them because I, Ithink what I needed to hear
most, but hearing it wouldn'thave landed.
I needed to feel it.
You need to feel it.
Yeah.
I needed to feel it.
I needed to just be held andjust have somebody just like,
Oh, look at you.
Like what a, what a just greatlittle piece of human you are,
(41:07):
you know, and
Jason Frazell (41:08):
just me
Amanda Baudier (41:10):
and settle my nervous system.
Yeah.
Like, if I could, if 23 year oldme could co regulate with 40
year old me, should be in a goodplace.
But we don't have anybody to coregulate with, right?
And for people that don't know,co regulation is when you're
around somebody with a regulatednervous system, it helps you get
into regulation, then everybodyfeels good.
(41:31):
But when there's lots ofdysregulation and everyone's
dysregulated together, it'slike, it's a perfect storm.
So I would hold her and let herregulate.
Beautiful.
Jason Frazell (41:39):
Beautiful.
That's so nice.
That is, what a, what abrilliant thing.
What a brilliant thing for thoseof us who are listening to that
to just do now.
Amanda Baudier (41:46):
Yeah,
Jason Frazell (41:47):
totally.
Like, like do that, like do thatnow.
Amazing, Amanda.
Wrap up today.
Let's talk about let's firsttalk about your podcast.
Yeah, yeah, fellow podcaster.
Love that.
And then, and then any otherways that people can connect
with you?
Amanda Baudier (41:59):
Sure.
So the podcast is called fullplate, full cup.
So you, you can you know,extrapolate.
It's about people that have hadreally, really busy lives and
careers and have figured outways to keep their cups full.
So we interview entrepreneurs,executives, creatives, but
always on a lens of sort oflike, how'd you do it?
How'd you either like.
Move through the kind of burnoutrisk, avoid the burnout risk,
(42:22):
recover from the burnout risk.
It's always with a lens on,like, finding, finding that
balance but actually, like,becoming quite successful while
being mindful of your mental,emotional, physical well being.
So that's full plate.
Full cup available, you know,all the podcast places
Jason Frazell (42:36):
and then my
Amanda Baudier (42:37):
website, amandabaudier.
com.
I primarily do one on oneexecutive coaching, but I do
have some more community facingofferings that I'm putting out
into the world that are allfree, such as free live guided
meditations.
You know, I, I sat out likejournal prompts and I also have
retreats twice a year.
Yeah, that I, that I do.
(42:57):
I, yeah, I look forward toconnecting with people who
aren't executives becauseeverybody needs this.
Jason Frazell (43:02):
Everybody needs this.
Amazing, Amanda.
We'll have all that.
We'll get all that in the shownotes and we'll get people
connected to you.
And Amanda, I just want to thankyou.
I was telling Amanda beforehand.
Some of the people I interviewon this show, and this has been
going for over four years now,which is still mind blowing to
me.
Awesome.
Some of the people I have, I'veknown for years, I've
interviewed my wife, I've, shehad her interview me.
(43:24):
Some people come to me throughvarious channels, and some
people just, like, reach out asa genuine human, and, like, you
reached out a couple weeks ago,and I'm like, I'm like, My
thought was like, fuck.
Yeah.
And here we are We're both here
Amanda Baudier (43:36):
in Catskills.
Yeah, we're here
Jason Frazell (43:37):
in the Catskills with like same age kids.
So amanda.
Yeah.
Thank you so much I willdefinitely be seeing you and one
of your meditations soon.
I'm always looking for thatThank you so much for being on
appreciate your wisdom today so
Amanda Baudier (43:46):
much.
Thanks for having me.
Jason Frazell (43:47):
Thanks.
Thanks amanda.
Bye.
Amanda Baudier (43:49):
Bye
Thanks for listening to anotherepisode of Talking to Cool
People with Jason Frizzell.
If you enjoyed today's episode,please tell your friends, follow
us on Instagram and Facebook,and give us a shout out, or take
a moment to leave a review oniTunes.
If something from today'sepisode piqued your interest and
you'd like to connect, email usat podcast at jasonfrizzell.
(44:12):
com.
We love hearing from ourlisteners because you're cool
people too.
Everybody my guest on this show today is
Amanda Baudier.
Amanda is a whole personexecutive coach.
We're going to talk about whatthat means She's a mom, she's a
podcaster, she's a spiritualteacher, and I have to say this,
she's almost my neighbor, whichdoes not happen often on this
show.
I've talked to people in Asia, alot of people in the EU,
(00:33):
California.
We both live in the Catskills,which is not That common, we're,
we're, we're a whopping oneCounty apart.
So we're like, so we're actuallylike same time zone.
We're dealing the same weather.
I could drive and see you inlike an hour and a half, which
is really cool.
And we don't, and we didn't knoweach other until 15 minutes ago.
So Amanda, welcome.
So good to have you here.
Amanda Baudier (00:51):
Thanks so much.
Thanks for having me.
Jason Frazell (00:54):
Yeah.
So we're going to talk about avariety of things today, but
Amanda, you know, I was really,really intrigued by your story.
Because you've gone throughquite a transformation in your
life, like, like most of ushave, but you really had some
pretty impactful things happento you at a pretty young age.
So let's start is a little bitabout your background, what you
were doing in your twenties andlike what the moment of
(01:15):
reckoning was for you that hasyou here in a podcast.
Telling us your whole pro, wholeperson executive coach Yeah.
Because you probably didn'timagine that back in the day.
So
Amanda Baudier (01:23):
you know, I, I, I, you know, I was, I was on a
fast track somewhere back in theday, but I didn't think it was
here.
So, yeah.
You know, I was your in manyways typical overachiever.
Ivy League student.
I graduated a semester early.
I was in New York City atColumbia University.
And I just had I had a realdriving desire to be successful
(01:47):
and to make a name for myselfand to matter, which I think
most people that moved to NewYork City, right?
There's a, there's a piece ofthat.
They want to be successful.
Somebody they want to make aname for themselves.
And so I very early in arrivingto New York city stumbled upon
the party scene and thenightlife scene and thought,
wow, this is a great way to besomebody.
Like if you can do this, likeyou are, you're somebody.
And at that time what is now taugroup, which many people may
(02:11):
have heard of, it's a globalbillion dollar, you know,
hospitality business.
It was sort of just getting offthe ground.
They had a tau, the restaurantand marquee, the nightclub had
just opened.
And I applied to be theirintern.
The, the, the guys that, yeah, Iapplied to be the intern.
I was a junior at Columbia andthey, they hired me.
They were shocked that an Ivyleague kid wanted to come work
(02:33):
at a nightclub, but I knew thatthese guys were like the movers
and shakers in the industry.
If I wanted to get in, thesewere the people to be in with.
Right.
And so really like, as soon as Istarted working for them, I was
going to work every day fromnine to five unpaid internship,
mind you.
And then back in the day, wedidn't, you know, they didn't
pay us back in the day.
And then going to classes atColumbia from 610 to 855.
(02:56):
So basically two like hour and ahalf, you know, classes every
night which meant after that itwas.
studying.
It was homework.
It was partying.
It was nightlife.
And I kept up that pace formany, many years.
I graduated early to get a jobwith them.
I became a partner when I was27.
And the next year I was going toa routine doctor checkup.
(03:19):
And my doctor said, Amanda, yourpulse is completely erratic.
You need to go to a cardiologistright now.
And I was like, what are youtalking about?
I'm fine.
I was vegan.
I was, I was actually acertified yoga teacher and a
vegan at this time.
I was like in great shape.
You know, quote unquotethriving.
I mean, I was quite stressed andquite, you know, working crazy
hours, but in my mind, I wascrushing it and many other
(03:42):
people's minds.
I was crushing it.
And you know, to kind of cut tothe chase of many, many doctor's
appointments, my heart wasskipping every third beat.
So highly, highly erraticarrhythmia, very dangerous.
Could have dropped dead prettymuch at any second.
And I, I was having faintingspells and things, but I didn't
really think there was anythingwrong with me, which sounds
(04:02):
crazy, but you know, it's likepeople go undetected with these
things.
So.
I had to get heart surgery, notopen heart surgery, but a
catheter ablation.
And at the time, you know, therewas a lot of talk of, well, you
need to take this medicationforever.
You need to get on a pacemaker.
And I was like, what the, youknow, can I cuss?
(04:23):
You
Jason Frazell (04:23):
can definitely cuss, please do.
Amanda Baudier (04:25):
What the fuck?
You know, I felt, I had so muchshame because.
I would be in the doctor'soffice and everyone there was
like 75.
It was like these old peoplewhose hearts were giving out,
you know?
And it's me, I'm 28 and my highheels and my phone in one hand
and my Blackberry in the other.
And I'm like, I gotta hurry, Igotta get back to work, you
(04:45):
know?
And you know, the amount that Iwas working, the stress, the
anxiety, It's the late nightsand of course, you know, all of
our bodies are different.
Some people suffer from guthealth issues when they're
overstressed.
Some people it's mental health,right?
I was, I was sort of mentally,emotionally quote unquote fine,
but my heart could not keep upwith the pace of the way that I
(05:05):
was working.
And so I made the decision totake a sabbatical.
And as I mentioned, I wasalready a trained yoga teacher,
which is pretty fuckinghilarious.
You know this stressed out,burned out yoga teacher, you
know New York city yogateachers.
That's who we are.
And during that year I gotcertified in MBSR, which is
(05:26):
mindfulness based stressreduction.
This is a school of thoughtdeveloped by John Kabat Zinn at
Harvard.
So sort of clinical mindfulness.
I went to Institute ofintegrative nutrition.
became a certified holistichealth coach.
I got a Reiki certification.
I did an integrative yogatherapy certification.
I mean, I really, I call it likemy study abroad year in being a
(05:48):
well person, but I really,really went deep into really
understanding, okay, how do Inot kill myself?
Like, how do I, not die.
And, and what's interesting isat that time, I knew nothing
about the nerve.
I had no idea what the nervoussystem was.
I didn't know about vassal vagaltheory and the connection
between, you know, the, the mindbody and, and all of that stuff.
(06:11):
I had vague, vague understandingof it from my yoga studies, but
I learned so much in that yearthat I was able to bring back
when I, you know, when I cameback to New York city and was
like, Oh, I, I want to still bea working person.
I still want to be successful.
I just don't want to kill myselfwhile doing it.
So, you know, you know, whatI'll say is I think a lot of
people get mini wake up calls.
(06:32):
I'm actually kind of lucky thatI got such a big one.
There was, there was no playingaround for me.
I knew that I had to change mylife.
In order to keep living my life,I, you know, it wasn't like, Oh,
my acne got really bad or like,Oh, I'm like, I'm not pooping
every day.
You know, no, I had heartsurgery.
So yeah,
Jason Frazell (06:50):
you had heart surgery.
Yeah.
Amanda Baudier (06:51):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jason Frazell (06:53):
Oh, that's I have so many questions.
I think the, the, the, the, themain thing that pops up for me
is how much of that.
You said you felt fine, a lot,but you also had fainting
spells.
I'll speak, I like, I'm gonnaspeak for myself.
There's been times in my lifewhere you tell yourself, Oh, I'm
totally fine.
But when you look back, you'relike, Oh my gosh, there were so
(07:15):
many signs.
Anybody who was fainting shouldprobably go get something
checked out.
Or the fact that you werefeeling a certain thing.
What part about That story I'mtrying to think how to say this.
Smells like bullshit No, no,it's like it's like it's like
I'm picturing your drive Justmasking this whole other thing
(07:37):
that was actually going on likeyou're insatiable It's like an
insatiable desire for successthat just has you Just ignore
your body.
And now that you're more of abody, like, you know, this.
Amanda Baudier (07:50):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jason Frazell (07:52):
I'm going to get clinical.
Amanda Baudier (07:53):
Yeah.
I'm going to get clinical withyou for a second.
So I'm, I'm also, I'm in mythird year of a certification in
something called somaticexperiencing, which is sort of
like the gold standard fortrauma informed nervous system
care.
So, you know, everybody'sfamiliar at this point with
fight flight freeze.
And when our nervous system ishighly activated, it hijacks the
(08:13):
other systems.
Such as rest and digest, right?
So that is why so many people,when they're in extended chronic
stress, fight mode, flight mode,whatever your kind of natural
thing is, your body stopsdigesting food while you can't
sleep, right?
You have those types of healthconcerns.
There is another.
layer.
And so what I had was calledbasal vagal syncope, which was
(08:34):
basically I was fainting becausemy heart wasn't rushing blood to
my brain quickly enough.
And the reason for that wasbecause my nervous system
thought that there were othermore important things it needed
to do.
Like my nervous system wasinsane.
such chaos that it actuallythought that like, we can't do
(08:57):
this.
Like just, it's like a, it'slike a extreme flight response.
Just pass out.
Right.
So animals in the wild do this.
Right.
But the crazy thing is, youknow, now I'm an executive
coach.
I have other clients whoexperienced this same thing.
Totally.
And, you know, what I had toldmyself back then, which is also
true is that I have low, I justhave low blood pressure.
(09:19):
Oh, I just didn't eat enoughtoday.
Oh, you know, of course.
Yeah.
But, but our, our nervoussystem, it is responsible for so
much more than we even realize.
And like, if people takeanything away from this episode,
it's like, Oh, my God.
Go research your nervous system.
Not on Tik TOK, although there'sgood people, there's good people
out there, but like, likeresearch your nervous system and
really get an understanding oflike, ha, this has been running
(09:41):
my whole life and I maybe didn'tunderstand just how much control
it had over me.
Jason Frazell (09:46):
Yeah, Amanda, thank you for sharing all that.
I want to I want to do a callback here to an episode I did
with my my friend.
Dr.
Eugene Choi a few weeks ago, andhe he's a coach as well He's a
he's actually a pharmacist bytrade and he's done a lot of
neurological studies neurologyis his thing and He talks a lot
about Your executive state andyour survival state and in your
(10:09):
survival state of the fight,flight or freeze response and
how a lot, a lot of the thingsin culture that are attributed
to like powerful ways of workingare actually just a fight,
flight or freeze response.
Yeah, my assertion would be, andI, from knowing you for a whole
like 25 minutes now, I guessyou're gonna agree this.
It sounds like you're in yoursurvival state almost all the
(10:31):
time.
Amanda Baudier (10:31):
100%.
Jason Frazell (10:33):
You're like, you're pretty much your fight
state of like driven.
Fight the fight state of that
Amanda Baudier (10:38):
100%.
And then when my body couldn'tdo anymore, I would go into a
severe state of flight, whichwould be passing out.
Right.
And and, and, you know, like,more people are experiencing
this than realized just becausethey didn't have, like I said,
as extreme of a wake up call asme, they're experiencing it in
smaller ways.
And so it's easier to have it goundetected.
Jason Frazell (10:57):
Yeah, so obviously you're extremely
intelligent, you talked aboutthe things you've done, your
education, you went to a greatschool, I'm just going to assume
that means, assume that means alittle something about you, not
as much as maybe we'd make itout to be, but it means
something.
Looking back now at all theeducation that you, that you at
the time had done, was your, wasyour creativity limited by
(11:18):
operating in that survivalstate?
Because that's usually the firstthing that goes.
Amanda Baudier (11:22):
You know.
When I think back about theperson that I was at that stage,
not just creativity, but allfunctioning that required actual
presence, so real joy, realconnection, real creativity when
(11:45):
we are in A highly activated,dysregulated nervous system
state, we almost like, you know,the saying, we don't know what
we don't know we get sodisconnected from the parts of
us that are able to, you know,like, so the, the, the more
regulated state, right?
It's connection.
(12:06):
It's rest.
It's a more, you know, in, injust like in our biology, right?
When we're, when we'reregulated, we have a really wide
purview, right?
Our, our peripheral vision isonline.
And when we're in fight mode,it's like, we can only see the
laser in front of us.
And and I, and I want people toknow that like when you're in
that state, it's not a choice.
(12:28):
It's not like you'reintentionally saying, no, I want
to, I'm this driven and I onlywant to focus on this.
And I'm, you know, your nervoussystem makes it feel like you
don't have any other option.
And so, you know, I, I work witha lot of people now who are kind
of in, in that state and tryingto get out of that state.
I have so much compassion for itbecause gosh, it, it, it's, it's
(12:50):
a prison.
Jason Frazell (12:53):
It's extremely useful in certain circumstances.
It's just wildly useful.
Like you said, yeah, you're aparent.
I'm a parent.
You see your kid about to getinto danger.
I don't want to be creativeabout what I'm going to do.
I want to be able to do thatwithout any thinking.
My guess is if I was to I coacha lot of these similar people
too.
It was kind of me in my 20s aswell.
(13:14):
I'm I'm picturing if I was to goback and interview people who
knew you then, they'd be like,she'll run through a fucking
brick wall to get it done, she'sreliable, she'll get it done,
she's gonna be awesome at it,but like, hard to connect with,
and not a lot of like, visionarythinking.
Cause that's generally thesurvival state you go to.
Amanda Baudier (13:32):
You know, what's interesting about me and well,
I, you know, I'm also studyingto be a trauma therapist, so we
can go to the trauma side too I,they often refer to me as a
machine because of the sheerlevel of output that I was able
to, you know, I was able to dothe work of four or five people,
no problem, but I'm also aperformer, and so I was very
(13:53):
able to have people feel likethey could connect with me, I
wasn't actually connecting withpeople.
So it is very, if you have acertain type of personality, if
you're a performer and a peoplepleaser you can put on, you
know, and I did sales for aglobal hospitality firm.
I was charming as fuck.
(14:14):
I wasn't allowing people to seeme or know me.
I wasn't experiencing, you know,deep, intimate connection.
And so, and that's also, youknow, quite, quite damaging as
well to feel like nobody reallyknows you, but gosh, you're so
popular.
Jason Frazell (14:28):
Yeah.
Hmm.
Now you're, so you're a parentnow and I think your kids are on
there.
Your kids aren't, They're stillin elementary school or younger.
So they're, they're movingthrough the last, what I would
say, the less driven part ofacademics as a younger age, but
it's not too far off wherethey're going to start to think
about high school, college, thatcompetitiveness of that.
(14:49):
Yeah.
And that is such masculineenergy to me on the outside
looking at it.
We have kids that are about thesame age of like, It's all about
the performance and how you doit.
I'm curious as a, as a parent,how do you look at that now,
knowing what, you know?
Amanda Baudier (15:03):
Yeah, I mean, it's, it's pretty funny.
I mean, I I've gone, I don'twant to say completely into the
opposite direction, but I'mgonna give you a quote by Deepak
Chopra that kind of summarizesmy, my thinking on parenting,
which is he said, if my kid wasexcelling at tennis and.
getting, you know, flunking atmath.
(15:25):
I wouldn't get him a math tutor.
I'd get him a tennis coach.
And so, you know, what he'ssaying there is like, you should
work hard and you should puteffort forth and you should
develop skills and talents, butnot in this sort of like,
maniacal, everything has to beperfect, straight A kind of way.
And look, like, that is notnecessarily congruent with what
(15:47):
society typically andhistorically has valued.
However, what you and I know asentrepreneurs, and my husband is
also an entrepreneur, is that itdoesn't matter if you got a 4.
0 in high school, if you have askill or a talent that you are
that you have mastery in, thatyou develop, that you commit
(16:09):
yourself to, that you areearnest and hardworking and
dependable.
And I would rather see mychildren.
excel in something that theyhave a natural aptitude gift and
love for, then get like straightA's across the board.
And if that means, you know,they go to a different type of
college than I went to, look, Iwent to Columbia.
My husband went to Columbia.
(16:30):
I don't give a shit where mykids go to college, to be honest
with you.
It's a different, it's adifferent era.
It also doesn't it's notsomething that I feel would make
me feel particularly proud orunproud if they wanted to do it
and they were, you know, andthey had the skills and the
grades and the scores.
I wouldn't say, no, I don't wantyou to go there.
(16:50):
That's an elite, you know,organization, whatever.
But I'm not going to be, youknow, like, I'm like, God bless
my parents.
But my, my dad would like, referto us as like, where, where we
went to college.
I've got the Duke, the Yale, andthe Columbia, you know, like
those are the, the, the threekids.
And like, look, my dad grew up,he didn't have a dad, he was
dirt, dirt, dirt poor.
(17:10):
Both my parents were dirt, dirt,dirt poor.
So like that sort of immigrantsuccess story of, of, of, you
know, kids going to a goodcollege.
But guess what?
It was fucked up.
I've been doing trauma healingand therapy for, you know, 20
years and so have my siblings.
And so.
You know, and, and, and I don'tknow that all of that struggle
(17:31):
and that pushing and thatnecessitation of the perfect SAT
scores and all of that.
I don't know if that actually,you know, got me any further
along in life than I would haveif I had been happier and more
regulated and just allowed topursue my own.
Passions.
So, you know,
Jason Frazell (17:49):
I love it.
Yeah.
I have another parentingquestion.
I'm being selfish because I'masking, I'm asking you a
question, but I'm asking you,and then I want to, I want to
talk, the next thing I want totalk about is happiness.
Cause I know something you worka lot with clients on and have
had your own journey that youstarted to share is your oldest
is, was born in 2015.
So they're either eight or eightor nine.
Yep.
What are the boy or girl boy,what are you seeing in his
(18:12):
personality now?
Cause I, we have an eight yearold as well.
I'm starting to see thepersonality come out in terms of
the, the drive versus I thinkmost kids are driven in some
way, but what are you startingto spot in his personality that
reminds you of yourself?
Amanda Baudier (18:27):
Yeah, there's things I see that are similar,
and there's things that I seethat are, that are very
different.
And I do think part of it is thedifference in upbringing.
A different type of attachmentto a parent, a different type of
response from a parent matters alot.
My son is obsessed withfootball, not just playing
football, but every aspect ofit.
You could ask him any player,any team, he knows stats, he
(18:48):
knows scores.
And so I see the, the passion.
He's also I, I, he considershimself to be the best in his
class in math.
You know, he's very likeconfident and excited about his
ability in math.
And so I'm going to plug my afriend of mine has a business
called Curious Cardinals.
And it's this program where yousign up a kid K through 12 with
(19:10):
a college student and they dolike a mentoring project with
them where it's like some typeof project that the kid helps
design.
Right.
But I'm going to have himpartner with someone to do like
a sports scores analytics.
program, right?
Because I'm taking, okay, whatis my kid obsessed with?
What is he motivated by?
Where does it intersect withsomething that actually is
(19:33):
beneficial to like school andfuture and all that?
And how can I make itinteresting and fun and like,
you know, push him further onthe things that he's obsessed
with.
That to me feels like how I wantto motivate my kid.
And, and to be honest, like, I,this is, you know, I, I had a
conversation with him a coupleof weeks ago cause we did his
like parent teacher conference.
Right.
Right.
And I'm like, look, you're alittle overly chatty if you
(19:57):
didn't, you know, if you got togo to the bathroom and you
didn't ask, I'm not going to getmad at you about stuff like
that.
Jason Frazell (20:01):
Right.
Don't be a, don't
Amanda Baudier (20:01):
be an asshole.
Don't hurt anybody.
And don't be an asshole.
And you know, my, my feeling islike in the world that we live
in now, the way that peoplebecome successful is so
different than it used to be.
None of the old shit.
Like, it is guaranteed to work.
So my thing is, if you're thetype of people, type of people,
(20:23):
type of person that people wantto be around, it is so much more
likely that you are going to besuccessful because people will
want to have you on their team,whatever it is, right?
And so I can have a kid who hasgood morals, you know, decent
level of just like respect and,and you know, empathy for other
(20:44):
humans and is happy.
Right.
Speaking of happiness, if hegoes and applies for a job, he's
going to be light years aheadof, you know, other, other
people.
So that's, that's my, my take.
It's like double down on theshit that they're obsessed with
and maybe not put as muchpressure on them on the other
stuff, as long as it's not like,you know, violence or
Jason Frazell (21:03):
being a
Amanda Baudier (21:05):
bully, right.
You know, that type of stuff.
Jason Frazell (21:07):
Yeah, I think this is my, I'll give you a
quick, my perspective on thiswith, with AI and a lot of the
technology that's available now,the kind of the X, the pure
expertise jobs is that valuableas valuable anymore.
Totally.
Like look, yeah.
I mean, look at the thing, lookat the things that 30 years ago
were arguably the most valuablethings that now, and I, and I, I
(21:32):
had this experience on, have youseen the movie Oppenheimer?
Amanda Baudier (21:34):
No, no, I've heard I've read about it.
Yeah.
Jason Frazell (21:38):
Yeah, but it went best picture.
It's amazing But I was you know,like the the pure scientific
Marvel that was in 1944 I thinkmost of what they did you could
probably plug into chat GPT andget an answer for now Yeah, and
I mean they built a bomb theybuilt a bomb that you know, like
yeah, so it's amazing And it'snot to say that there isn't
(21:58):
there's a lot of room for theintellectualism and all those
but like how you treat people Isthe thing now?
Yeah Yeah, totally.
Yeah.
So I wanna talk about the I wantto talk about happiness and in a
specific way here, Amanda.
One thing that I hear.
In my practice, I, we, we, wecoach different types of folks,
(22:20):
I think, or maybe we probablycoach the same type of people.
Here a lot is I don't have time.
I don't understand the value andspecifically in the realm of
like combining your spiritual,like your spiritual practices or
what that means to you with whoyou, I call that like who you
are in the world.
And then there's the, who youare in the world.
And then there's the, what areyou, or like your, your, you
(22:41):
probably heard that your formand your function.
And My form is this thing thatis like not related to what I do
and then it likely influences myfunction But you hear people go.
I don't have time for that.
I don't have time to meet with acoach I don't I don't have time
to dig in on these thingsbecause I'm busy doing blank
making money raising kids andJust to call it out This is for
(23:01):
men and women, but myexperience, especially with
women is i'm not worth it I'mnot worth actually investing in
myself I'm not and i'm talkingabout like the time and energy
part forget the money you couldbe a billionaire But like oh,
you know what i'm not worthactually getting to know myself
in that way Yeah from and i'msure you hear this all the time
So i'd love to just bring theconversation to the kind of work
you do and things that you'velearned for yourself Which it
(23:23):
sounds like?
And I, I love this'cause inpersonal brain, so I was like,
the person you're best equippedto serve is a person you once
were.
Yeah.
So you're like, oh, like, oh,you're like, you're like,
there's Amanda.
There's Amanda from five yearsago, or Yeah.
Yeah.
Sometimes you, so do you everhave the experience as a coach
where you're like, oh, there'sAmanda from yesterday?
Amanda Baudier (23:38):
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Oh, there's Amanda from today.
There's Amanda from thismorning, right?
Yeah.
You're, oh, wow.
Jason Frazell (23:43):
You're like, you're like, oh, wow.
There's a saying in the coachtraining.
I went, program went through.
It's great.
It's like generally your clientsare, are usually like one step
behind or one step ahead of you.
Yeah, 100%.
And as a coach.
That's like, it's, and it's sofascinating where you're like,
that's the exact same thing thatI talked to my coach or my
therapist about.
Yeah.
100%.
Amanda Baudier (23:59):
100%.
Yeah.
So I'll start with sort of whatI say to the most cynical of
people or, or I would say eventhe most cynical, cause I used
to be cynical.
I used to be dark, man.
I used to like, I used to thinkeverything was.
Like, so stupid.
Like, Oh God, how cheesy isthat?
But I, I talk about somethingcalled pragmatic positivity.
(24:20):
So what I mean by this is ifyou're running a business, if
you're working at a company,right, there is a certain level
of positivity that is requiredin, order for things to move
forward and for them to moveforward efficiently and well,
right?
Whether that's motivating otherpeople, whether that's getting
consumers to pick up what you'reputting down, whether that is
(24:43):
instituting enough confidence incolleagues or whatever to make
people not be in a state offear.
Right.
And so cultivating positivitycan be done solely for
pragmatic.
Reasons when you are in a fullynegative, fearful, judgmental,
(25:03):
overwhelmed state, it is havingnegative impact on how how
impactful you can be, right?
Whether you're, you're running ateam reporting to somebody, you
know, whatever you're doing inlife, if you are a negative sack
of shit, like you are notgetting the results that you
could have.
So I start with that, right?
Even if you don't want to do itfor any sort of personal
(25:27):
development, altruistic, youknow, reason, let's at least do
it because your KPIs aresuffering, right?
Because your your, the copy thatyou're writing is not engaging
your consumer because it's not,It's coming from a place of
overwhelm, you know,unhappiness, et cetera, et
cetera.
So I start with that and, andthat generally, cause some
(25:50):
people come to me when the sparkis like almost out, right?
When they're like, Oh my God,you know, and that, You're my
last
Jason Frazell (25:57):
hope, Amanda.
Amanda Baudier (25:58):
Yeah.
Literally, literally.
No pressure.
No pressure.
But, but when I talk aboutpragmatic positivity, so you're
familiar with parts work, you'vedone therapy, right?
And so I talk about parts work alot in my coaching because there
is a, there is a piece of youthat is a cynical piece of shit.
And it's going to think any loveand light spiritual stuff is a
(26:21):
bunch of BS.
Totally.
And you have to appease thatpart of you before the other
parts of you can even comeonline for many of us, right?
And so I talk about pragmaticpositivity because I want
someone to say, you know what,fuck, I do have to do this.
Not because I want to be happy,even though they do but because
(26:41):
my team, why do all my directreports hate me?
Right?
Why, why am I not gettingpromoted or whatever the thing
that's going wrong?
And it's like, wow.
Like.
You can use positivity verystrategically to like, you know,
improve on key markers that arecurrently suffering.
Right?
So I start with that.
So that the part of them that iscynical, that is totally burnt
(27:04):
out, that is totallyoverwhelmed, that has no time
for nonsense, right?
Quote unquote nonsense.
Well, listen, right?
And then I generally, so in theworld of somatic experiencing,
right, we want people to sensewhat something feels like in
their body.
And I love to give peopleactions to do and just like,
(27:26):
just do this and let me know howit feels.
Just do it.
Let me know how it feels.
If you don't like it, great.
I don't care.
If you love it, amazing.
We'll talk about it next time.
Or I'll give peopleintrospection prompts to like,
think about how certainactivities make them feel or not
feel.
And the thing is, what I believeabout the human spirit and the
human nature is that we are amoth to the flame.
(27:48):
to the flame of joy, right?
Like we are so drawn to it andwe really want it.
But there's so many things inthe way.
There's so many things blockingour ability to just gravitate
towards it.
And some of those we can't doanything about, right?
Like not everything is likeclear it away and Oh, like
(28:09):
living in the perfect, you know,but, but many things are many
things are, and some of the mostSome of the most important
things are very, very malleable.
And so the thing is, is like,Once you get someone to just
have a taste, see a glimmer,right, it is very easy.
(28:30):
And that's why I have certainclients.
Like when I work with someonewho's like an active CEO of a
company, they get on retainer.
We work together years at atime, right?
If someone has a specificproject or a specific problem
that they're trying to solve, Ialways tell them three months.
That's all we need by the end ofthree months.
You'll be able to do thisyourself.
Like, you know, I don't want tosit there and and have, you
(28:51):
know, I mean, I love having niceconversations with people,
obviously, but like, my goal islike, let me reignite the little
spark and then you can keepthat, that flame going.
And maybe in a year, if you'relike, Oh God, I totally lost
that lost that momentum, butit's not like, I find that that
joy cultivation is not like dietor exercise where it's actually
(29:15):
like really easy to fall off thewagon when it comes to like
working out or eating healthy,because there's a lot of
pleasure that can come fromeating unhealthy or sloth.
Right.
Whereas if I'm encouragingpeople, like something I love to
tell people to do, which is sobasic.
Go for a phone free walk, justgo for a phone free walk.
Notice things 10 minutes isfine.
(29:37):
Leave your phone behind and gofor a walk.
And people are like, that wasamazing.
Jason Frazell (29:44):
They're like, Amanda, I was laughing because I
was like, can I, can I stillbring my Apple watch, but
Amanda Baudier (29:51):
that's the thing, you know, that's the
thing.
And and so once people do it Ilove to see like the light
return to people.
And I love people hopping onto acolumn being like, Oh my God, I
did this.
And then I knew that.
And I, you know, and I'm like,yeah, this is, this is you, this
is the real you coming backonline, you know?
Jason Frazell (30:10):
Yeah.
I have something to offer herearound.
One of the things that my,somebody I trained with one of
the, my mentors, she saidsomething to me.
And she said, and she wasn't mycoach, she was just like, like a
training mentor, and I'm sureyou run into this all the time
because high performance peopledo this all the time, including
myself.
(30:31):
And she'd say, I'd ask you howyou feel about something and you
would give me a story or anexplanation or you'd
intellectualize it, but Ihaven't yet heard how you
actually feel.
And then she'd go, do you knowhow you feel?
And I go, I'm not sure.
Yeah.
Like I can tell you.
The story of why I might feel acertain way and I can like
(30:51):
logically give you the, this islike the head based stuff,
right?
Of like, here's all the reasons,here's all the reasons why it's
not going well at work.
Like you, right.
Have you ever had a client whereyou go, Hey Amanda, How's it
going at work and they'll giveyou the all the stuff which is
great You know, how do you feelabout that?
And then they'll continue totell you the reasons why but
they will not tell you how theyfeel about it And I yeah, you
(31:14):
know and one of the things theysay in therapy and coaching and
you you spot it you got it Irecognize it because I do it to
myself Yeah, you're like you'relike, yeah, but I'm not am I
even pretty I know that I have afeeling but am I even present?
To what that feeling totally?
Yeah to me to me is somebodywho's You I'm working on my
spiritual journey.
I was sharing a little bit withyou before you record to me.
That is the aspect of spirit,the spiritual journey that
(31:37):
everybody should get access to.
Amanda Baudier (31:39):
Yeah, absolutely.
And you know, I I've been aspiritual student and a
spiritual practitioner,spiritual teacher for a long
time, even when I was a hotmess.
You know, like I took BobThurman's class at Columbia when
I was like 19 years old and was,you know, got really into yoga,
got really into Hinduism, gotreally into Buddhism.
I was Catholic growing up andactually like loved going to
(32:00):
church and teaching Sundayschool and singing in church and
all of that stuff.
Jason Frazell (32:03):
Yeah.
Amanda Baudier (32:04):
And I, I, I, I've gone down a lot of
different paths pretty deeply.
And the way that I view andteach spirituality now is like
the most simple, like thisdistilled version of
spirituality, which is I wantpeople to go out and look at
(32:24):
their sky and put their feet onthe sky.
their ground and love that andsee the plants that are growing
where they are and the animalsthat are walking around in their
area, even if it's a dog on aleash, right?
It's like your connection to,you know, I used to exoticize it
so much.
You know, when I was on mysabbatical, I went to India and
(32:45):
like, you know, was it all thetemples in India?
I've been to Bali.
I did all of that stuff.
And, you know, I enjoyed it.
I have no problem with peoplewho changed their name to Shakti
and whatever, like do what feelsright to you.
But for me, I'm like, gosh, theholiest experiences that I've
ever had is like holding mychild's hand or like seeing the
(33:06):
sky, you know, look a certainway.
And when you look at likeindigenous cultures and now
like, you know, lots of peopleare, are, are we.
Very, you know, sometimesproblematically, but revisiting
and understanding this sort ofindigenous way of being in
connection with the land andreciprocity and just the kind of
(33:26):
like simple beauty ofspirituality being infused to
everything and every action andevery day.
And, you know, That doesn'trequire learning Sanskrit.
It doesn't require wearing acertain outfit.
It doesn't require, it doesn'trequire you to change anything
about who you are, where youare, what you're doing, how
(33:48):
you're saying it.
It's noticing, noticing,appreciating, and then maybe
like pausing just a little bitlonger.
And that is a, an amazingspiritual practice.
Amazing.
Pausing.
Who has time to pause?
No way.
Jason Frazell (34:06):
Certainly not me.
Amanda Baudier (34:07):
Yeah, you know, and the funny thing about about
pausing is that it's kind oflike like you feel sneaky at
first, you know, you're like,Ooh, can I, is this, am I being
bad?
Can I do this?
And then once you get away withit, you know, and you're like,
Ooh.
And so.
going back to the pragmaticthing.
(34:28):
I, I really try to reinforcewith my clients and honestly, I
still have to do it with myself,although now it's so part of who
I am and what I do.
My spiritual practices are quiteextensive.
I can
Jason Frazell (34:38):
imagine.
Amanda Baudier (34:39):
It makes you better in all the other facets
of your life.
It is not just it's not justfun.
It doesn't just feel good,right?
Like I would not be able to dothe work that I do in the way
that I do it if I were not.
In stillness, if I were notgoing on my nature walks and
(35:00):
doing my breath and mymeditation, I wouldn't be the, I
certainly would not be theparent that I am because
parenting takes all of yourcapacity to show up and be
present and be patient and beconnected.
It's so demanding energetically.
And.
You know, and, and if I didn'tdo my, if I didn't have my, my
(35:22):
time pausing, I wouldn't be ableto do those things.
And do I like them and enjoythem?
And are they fun?
Yeah, that too.
But if that's not enough forpeople, like, just know that
it's gonna make you, you know, Ican, and I can list all the
famous people like Phil Jacksonand whatever, you know, all
these people that meditate.
Well, why do they do it?
It's not just because they havea lot of time on their hands.
Jason Frazell (35:42):
No, Phil Jackson's a Zen master.
They called him Zen master.
Yeah, that was his nickname.
Yeah, his nickname.
So Amanda, because I love when Iget brilliant folks on my
podcast like you, to steal someof your, steal some of your
brilliance for free for people,and I don't say steal, but I
would love to hear, I'd love tohear Let's say this is a call in
show.
I'm just making this up.
(36:03):
It's a call in show.
Somebody calls in.
It says this all sounds amazingI don't know what to do next.
What's the thing like let's sayyou have and maybe the context
that does work or that's veryApropos for you is they hire you
as their coach or they don'thire you as their coach for a
million reasons But they say youknow what?
I just I need to get startedsomewhere.
(36:24):
Yeah, what's the thing thatpeople will go this all
resonates?
I know that I think most humanslike we intuitively know there's
a spirit thing whether or notit's religious But there's
something that's about us and itgets killed for many of us
myself included throughPressures work and parenting and
all those things and they'relike I want more access to that
thing What's the thing yougenerally would say to somebody
(36:45):
that feel that feels like eventhough we probably know they're
not they're starting at all One,like they're starting at one.
What do you have people do?
Like, what's the first thing youhave people start to practice?
Amanda Baudier (36:55):
Yeah.
So there's two things I wouldsay, and it will depend on what
like one or the other would bemore impactful, whether you're
somebody who's more like bodyoriented or like mind verbal
oriented.
So.
The first thing, which is moresort of body nervous system
oriented, which is to thinkabout nervous, your nervous
system, like you brush yourteeth.
Right?
So not that, not that you haveto have some extended crazy
(37:18):
routine or any specialaccessories, but you better
fricking do it in the morningand at night or like you're
going to have problems.
Right?
So can you, when you first wakeup, take break.
One minute, right?
Maybe three, but like even aminute to pause, either sit with
your feet flat on the ground orgo into like a child's pose.
(37:38):
I have some clients who I will,they will have a yoga mat just
laying right by their bed as areminder so that when they first
wake up, Instead of going rightto the phone, instead of going
right to the frantic, do achild's pose for 60 seconds and
breathe.
Let your nervous systemregulate.
Just notice how your body'sfeeling.
Ask yourself what's racing in mymind.
(38:00):
Just check in literally 60seconds.
And then go on your day and thesame thing before bed, right?
Instead of letting your phone bethe last thing you say, sit and
breathe for six and 60 secondsis not enough to get you into
the parasympathetic.
It's not enough to like shiftyou, but it is enough to get
awareness.
And like, as you start to dothat, you're like, okay, I have
(38:22):
a little bit of data.
What's going on with me.
Jason Frazell (38:24):
Yeah.
The
Amanda Baudier (38:25):
other thing is journaling and like people roll
their eyes at journaling.
But what I will often givepeople as a prompt is write to
your journal as if somebody whocould help you with all your
problems was listening.
Jason Frazell (38:41):
Oh, that's good.
Amanda Baudier (38:41):
Today was really rough.
I like that.
And I just like, I don't knowwhat I want to do about this.
Like my daughter's reallystruggling here, this and you
know, I really hope you can helpme with this.
Right.
And it's like.
Are you writing to God, writingto spirit, writing to your
higher self, you're writing toyour, your, you know, in
therapy, they talk about theideal parent, you're writing to
the whoever it is, right?
Like, put it out there thatthere could be some form of
(39:03):
support.
And at the very least, it's abrain dump.
And it's a processing.
Jason Frazell (39:09):
I love that.
Amanda Baudier (39:09):
And and maybe it opens, you know, a little portal
where you're like, Oh, maybethere is divine assistance, Out
there that I actually believe inor that I could access
Jason Frazell (39:17):
Yeah, i'm gonna i'm gonna own something here Not
live with you and I in thepodcast before we I want to talk
about a little bit about yourpodcast All the ways people can
connect with you, but I had anintuitive hit to ask you a
question And i'm hoping this isimpactful for the audience.
I'm just following it amanda.
What would you tell?
23 year old columbia graduateamanda.
(39:37):
What do you want?
What would you tell her and i'masking you this because i'm
guessing you've done thisrepeatedly based on what you've
shared with us Like what wouldyou tell her?
Amanda Baudier (39:45):
It's very interesting and I would, and
this is once again going back tomy childhood trauma, I, I,
there's not much I would say toher.
I would sit her down and I wouldhold her.
I would hold her and I wouldstroke her head and I would tell
her that, That she's doing agreat job and that, you know,
(40:06):
you don't need to push thishard.
You don't need, you know.
Jason Frazell (40:09):
Mm.
Amanda Baudier (40:09):
There, there is there is a, a, a, a, a certain,
you know, type of person, and Ithink it's many of us, for whom
love was not something wereceived.
Love was something that wesecured.
Right?
Jason Frazell (40:23):
And there's a
Amanda Baudier (40:23):
big difference from receiving love and then
actively securing love.
And you know, many spiritualssay that people will say that
all we're ever really seeking islove, right?
If we're seeking success, fame,money, whatever, all we're ever
really seeking is love.
And so a great, a great kind ofyou know, giving, and this is my
like number one piece ofparenting advice, right?
(40:45):
And it's like, Like love yourchildren when they're not doing
something praiseworthy, right?
Like just love them because I, Ithink what I needed to hear
most, but hearing it wouldn'thave landed.
I needed to feel it.
You need to feel it.
Yeah.
I needed to feel it.
I needed to just be held andjust have somebody just like,
Oh, look at you.
Like what a, what a just greatlittle piece of human you are,
(41:07):
you know, and
Jason Frazell (41:08):
just me
Amanda Baudier (41:10):
and settle my nervous system.
Yeah.
Like, if I could, if 23 year oldme could co regulate with 40
year old me, should be in a goodplace.
But we don't have anybody to coregulate with, right?
And for people that don't know,co regulation is when you're
around somebody with a regulatednervous system, it helps you get
into regulation, then everybodyfeels good.
(41:31):
But when there's lots ofdysregulation and everyone's
dysregulated together, it'slike, it's a perfect storm.
So I would hold her and let herregulate.
Beautiful.
Jason Frazell (41:39):
Beautiful.
That's so nice.
That is, what a, what abrilliant thing.
What a brilliant thing for thoseof us who are listening to that
to just do now.
Amanda Baudier (41:46):
Yeah,
Jason Frazell (41:47):
totally.
Like, like do that, like do thatnow.
Amazing, Amanda.
Wrap up today.
Let's talk about let's firsttalk about your podcast.
Yeah, yeah, fellow podcaster.
Love that.
And then, and then any otherways that people can connect
with you?
Amanda Baudier (41:59):
Sure.
So the podcast is called fullplate, full cup.
So you, you can you know,extrapolate.
It's about people that have hadreally, really busy lives and
careers and have figured outways to keep their cups full.
So we interview entrepreneurs,executives, creatives, but
always on a lens of sort oflike, how'd you do it?
How'd you either like.
Move through the kind of burnoutrisk, avoid the burnout risk,
(42:22):
recover from the burnout risk.
It's always with a lens on,like, finding, finding that
balance but actually, like,becoming quite successful while
being mindful of your mental,emotional, physical well being.
So that's full plate.
Full cup available, you know,all the podcast places
Jason Frazell (42:36):
and then my
Amanda Baudier (42:37):
website, amandabaudier.
com.
I primarily do one on oneexecutive coaching, but I do
have some more community facingofferings that I'm putting out
into the world that are allfree, such as free live guided
meditations.
You know, I, I sat out likejournal prompts and I also have
retreats twice a year.
Yeah, that I, that I do.
(42:57):
I, yeah, I look forward toconnecting with people who
aren't executives becauseeverybody needs this.
Jason Frazell (43:02):
Everybody needs this.
Amazing, Amanda.
We'll have all that.
We'll get all that in the shownotes and we'll get people
connected to you.
And Amanda, I just want to thankyou.
I was telling Amanda beforehand.
Some of the people I interviewon this show, and this has been
going for over four years now,which is still mind blowing to
me.
Awesome.
Some of the people I have, I'veknown for years, I've
interviewed my wife, I've, shehad her interview me.
(43:24):
Some people come to me throughvarious channels, and some
people just, like, reach out asa genuine human, and, like, you
reached out a couple weeks ago,and I'm like, I'm like, My
thought was like, fuck.
Yeah.
And here we are We're both here
Amanda Baudier (43:36):
in Catskills.
Yeah, we're here
Jason Frazell (43:37):
in the Catskills with like same age kids.
So amanda.
Yeah.
Thank you so much I willdefinitely be seeing you and one
of your meditations soon.
I'm always looking for thatThank you so much for being on
appreciate your wisdom today so
Amanda Baudier (43:46):
much.
Thanks for having me.
Jason Frazell (43:47):
Thanks.
Thanks amanda.
Bye.
Amanda Baudier (43:49):
Bye
Thanks for listening to anotherepisode of Talking to Cool
People with Jason Frizzell.
If you enjoyed today's episode,please tell your friends, follow
us on Instagram and Facebook,and give us a shout out, or take
a moment to leave a review oniTunes.
If something from today'sepisode piqued your interest and
you'd like to connect, email usat podcast at jasonfrizzell.
(44:12):
com.
We love hearing from ourlisteners because you're cool
people too.
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