Expedition Untold Ch. 17 - "You Bettor Watch Out!" - Talltale Tavern

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome back to the Tall Tale Tavern, the monthly one Shot
adventure TTRPG podcast. I am your Tavern master and
host, Kyle, and we are back for Chapter 17 of Expedition Untold,
joining me at the bar tonight. DMS scare the living shit out of
me. They could care less as long as

(00:21):
someone oblate. So roll the dice and try to hit
twice. Maybe they'll let you leave
hell, but not you, Becca. Welcome, Becca.
Thank you, that was for you Landy, and if you're confused
look back in the discord about amonth and 1/2 from when this
comes. If you're still confused, that

(00:41):
was My Chemical Romance. I think it might be.
More like 2 1/2 months. It'll be super fresh and
relevant it's gonna be. Really.
Funny. It's so funny.
Just wait for the punch line. Yeah, I had to definitely listen
to that song a few times becauseI think I've heard it before,
so. But that was close enough to the

(01:02):
chorus, I think. Couldn't tell you didn't know.
Nailed it. Also here, hoping that Becca and
Brooks intros are good enough that no one will notice how
little effort he put into his. Scott Esmond is here.
Welcome, Scott. Off to a good start so far.
I think I'm. Slipping under the radar?

(01:22):
Also here and here we see a recovering so qua kid.
Rarely do you see a school psychologist like this out in
the wild, and it seems she may have a hint of magical girl
hybrid. How delightful.
It's Brooke. Welcome, Brooke.
Is Sir David Attenborough here? That was incredible.

(01:43):
Feel like I'm watching. I feel so soon on.
Planet Earth. Planet.
Earth. So much I knew that was not
right, but I was like, I have nothing else there's.
Like a new one of these shows that comes out like every two
years though, so there's there. Probably is 1 called nature
Earth. So that's the one I met Scott.
OK, Yeah, you're. Right, sorry.
I'm hey, hey, I'm sorry, Brooke,my.

(02:06):
God, don't exchange the camera when you do that.
I hated the eye contact. So anyways, let's return to the
story, reopen the book, turn to chapter 17 and continue the
story of Expedition Untold. Roll the intro.

(02:52):
Previously on the Tall Tale Tavern, would you believe it?
Huguenard Nambi and I am Tiro Berstero have descended to the
depths of hell to try and put anend to the odious oblx that has
completely destabilized the stories of the Tall Tale Tavern.
We were gifted a tome of glowingpages with the power to call
characters to our aid by the ever clever Thwick, and after

(03:13):
fighting alongside him, GAIL andDiandra, and after cleaning
Huguenard's drool off the ground, we used a page to summon
forth the awe inspiring vessel known as the Obsidian Dawn.
Their captain Silvara and Big Pentameter helped ferry us
across the River Styx in search of our enemy, but we did not
make it far before we were caught in the middle of a
conflict between some devils andthe most disgusting gargantuan

(03:35):
demon to ever live. During the ensuing chaos, Namby
was nearly ingested by the monstrosity, but thanks to the
dazzling and daring display of our dashing Huguenard, he was
able to retrieve her from the monster's maw.
Not to be outdone, the brilliantand brave Bunny banished the
demon back to its home plane. After the fight, BIC charmed the

(03:56):
devils and all was well as we continued our journey.
That is, until the Obsidian Dawnand its crew began to disappear
as the magic of the page wore off, stranding us on a life raft
in the middle of the River Styx and breaking the charm on the
very angry devil that is now barreling down upon us.
Getting some music that I think is appropriate, OK.

(04:16):
Really killed. It's really happy.
There was so much momentum, Kyle.
I set you up with so much momentum.
I know, killed it, killing it now.
I'm going to come right in rightnow.
Now you look down the lens and apologize to me.
Sorry. Scott.

(04:40):
The best part is he's too far from his mic so we can't hear.
Him. I'm sorry.
That's good. Thank you.
All right. We rejoin our heroes on the
River Styx, sitting on a small inflatable raft as the Obsidian
dawn sinks below them. In the maroon waters of the

(05:02):
River Styx. You 3 look around, quite
literally up a Creek without a paddle, and see Harley the
Horned Devil flying straight back at you, with two spined
devils flying just behind him. Behind him.
God damn, but you got a spell onme.
You make me look like a numb nuts in front of my brother.
I'm going to gut you like a fishing and for these boys,
you're going to feast on your innards.

(05:23):
And the you hold the book in your hand, and a page starts
illuminating with words writing rapidly across the page in
golden, in golden letters. Yeah, Can I Chuck a page toward
the shore like I don't want to put it?
You're in the middle of this river.
You're like. It's a wine to cross the river.
Huh. You RIP the page out and you

(05:44):
feel like you just need to throwit straight up in the air and
so. Interesting.
OK. OK, we whip it.
You whip the page straight up inthe air and the page flies up
and starts duplicating. Pages start to whirl around and
form a portal, and as the portalcompletes, A blinding red light

(06:06):
shines out of it that hits Harley and the boys.
Oh. God damn it.
They hover in place for a second.
They're just like flying there. And Harley puts his like,
rainbow sunglasses on over his over his eyes.
And the red light grows brighterand brighter.
And then you start to hear the sound of sleigh bells.
And then out of the portal fliesSanta's sleigh, pulled by the

(06:28):
reindeer with Rudolph at the front.
They fly around the truck, abovethe water, right by the raft and
on board, at the helm with the reins in his hand is 1/2 Elf.
Karl Kringle, will you please join the table?

(06:49):
Oh my God. Portals.
Why? It's a Christmas miracle.
Why is this so hot? Where?
Oh no. Oh yes, this may not be the best
environment for our our Christmas friends.

(07:11):
I'm pitting out already. This ain't great.
Who are you? Can we do introductions later?
There's that thing following us.Sure.
Where are we going? Away.
Away. We're.
Far from here. We have a map.
OK, who's got the map we need toget on the sleigh?

(07:33):
Everybody jumps up. Everybody.
In you all climb up a board intothe sleigh and you get into the
sleigh ready to take off and youhear a noise in the back and you
you look behind you at Santa's bag and there's something that's
crawling out of the bag. The the the lip of the bag lifts

(07:55):
up and you see a small teddy bear crawl out.
Christopher, will you please join the table?
So much better than what I thought it was going to.
Be. I crawl out, I've got, I've got
like prison tattoos now and I just go, where's my fucking
honey? That's naughty list stuff.

(08:20):
Where are we going? Who has the?
Map. I don't remember.
It's, it's like, it's like up through the mountains, isn't it
like following the river? Yes, I believe so.
Follow the river away from him. Then away we go.
Watch out for the vomit as. You're fumbling through, trying

(08:40):
to get the sleigh to start. You hear a thunk on the side of
the on the side of the sleigh and a fishing spear hits the
side of it. You see Harley flying.
He's holding onto a rope that he's tying around his waist
around his waders that he's wearing.
He pulls it tight as he's kind of latched on to the rope that's
pinned into the side of the sleigh.
And then the two spine devils land on the back of the sleigh

(09:02):
and and Harley goes. Well God damn I get to kill you
3 and Santa Claus as Modius going to promote me too after
today. And he readies a flame in his
hand. Everyone roll initiative.
Oh, bother. He's going to die.
I have six health do you have? A bold ending Bond going or no,

(09:27):
Right? No.
Initiative. Why every time?
That is a gnat one for Christopher.
Oh, all right. It'd probably be Christopher.
This is a perfect day to record because I think it is actually
as hot as hell in this office right now.
It might. It might be hotter.
It ain't great, Hindy. Okie, Dokie, Okie, dokie, okie,

(09:53):
dokie Christopher. What was your initiative that?
Was a Nat. 1A Nat. 1 What the what does that give you?
Is that give you like a 2 or do you have any bonus to
initiative? I have a + 3 do it though.
So you get a four Carl, what wasyours?
I got a 15. 15 cool cool namby. 18. 18 you. 17. 17 I am Tiro 88.

(10:31):
That's the sassy face. That's why we got.
This. For a second I thought name was
like 8 and I was like oh we bothgot 8 how nice and there's no
18. I never roll well on initiative.
Be proud of me. That's true.
You rolled. Well, last time and I said I've
got Brooks initiative, you've tainted me.

(10:52):
OK, you guys are all sitting in the sleigh that's just floating
above the River Styx and and andHarvey Harley, not Harley.
Harley the the horned devil has attached himself to the sleigh.
There are two spiny spined devils that have landed on the
back of the sleigh. Namby, you are first up as as

(11:14):
the sleigh is trying to get going.
Dan, you're going to be in charge.
Carl Gungel will be in charge offlying this thing kind of using
its speed after your turn. Namby, you're up.
OK, I'm going to cast AID and I'm debating on if I want to

(11:34):
upcast it because I don't have alot of health.
Yeah, what the hell? I'm going to cast it at a third
level. So it's still just three
creatures, right? Yeah.
Yes, just UPS the amount of health.
OK, so sorry new friends, but I don't know when you're poofing
out of here. And this spell lasts a while, so

(11:57):
it's going on the book club. So you get 10 hit points and
your Max increases by 10. Thank you Namby.
And that, yeah, that was a spell.
So that's my turn. OK, you you're up.

(12:17):
Does that look like where that fishing hook lodged into the
sleigh? Does that look like actually
important to him being able to keep up with us?
Or does it look like that was just like what he originally
used to catch up? He looks.
Like he's tying himself to it sothat he doesn't that he doesn't
that that he can stick with the sleigh essentially and keep

(12:39):
flying. And it it's like, am I imagining
like correctly where it's like like harpoon style like lodged
in the side where like I can theoretically hit it with my
hammer to knock it right back off?
You would have to do, I suppose.You could break it off.
You could break the spear off. Yeah, you could break it with
your hammer. Or like were you imagining like
strength check instead or I was?Imagining slashing damage on the

(13:01):
rope, but it is like a spear that's lodged in into the side
and so you can absolutely just break.
The spear. OK, then I'm going to swing.
Oh wait, I have to remember how to play Hugh now, so I'm going
to. I don't remember if I had the

(13:23):
rune activated last episode. I think you did because you were
doing gradient damage, because we were.
Specifying. Whether or not.
It did additional damage to the DP.
OK, so that rune is still activated and then I don't have
an echo because it died, so I'm going to summon the echo first.

(13:43):
Who do? We get.
Who do we get? Smear my previously bloodied
hand against the Journal and oh,nice.
He thinks back to previous friends who have come to their
aid. And GAIL, Inky GAIL forms and
then a little like Inky other GAIL looks like it's going to.

(14:06):
Specify GAIL with little imp GAIL on its shoulder.
GAIL right away from me. It's.
Just like raising its eyebrows at you.
Yeah, that's all Inky GAIL is doing is just like lewdly
gesturing towards Namby. OK, so now I'm going to swing
Bone Crusher down onto the spearto try to just like, smash it

(14:30):
off of the side of bomb. Get bomb.
Get. So the first attack is a 24 to
hit. That will hit can.
Spears take radiant damage. Is that worth rolling?
They can, right? Roll Yeah, sure roll they both
the power's damage damage to. Spears.

(14:50):
Yeah. That's that's the enemy.
What are you doing? That's. 13 initial damage.
Yeah, that will break it. So it had 10 HP Smash that that
spear just like breaks off and the rope just falls down
dangling. And then is he right there too?
Like is Harley right there? He's not within.

(15:13):
Melee he's not. Within melee.
Of you, no, the spine devils are.
Yeah, they're on the back of thesleigh.
Like like on top of it. Then I will take my second
attack and then do an echo attack against one of the spine
devils. Cool.
A 23 to hit and a 21 to hit. Yep, both will hit.

(15:34):
And do you need me to divide up magical bludgeoning and radiant?
Do not. That's 34 additional damage. 34
You wallop one of the spine devils and hit it really hard,
smack it across the face. You see like one of it's like
spines like breaks off off off the top of its head and it just

(15:57):
like looks back and you just need something an infernal and
it is looking already pretty beat up.
One of them is anything else foryour turn.
Where is like spatially, is there a way that I can just like
wedge my body in between them and mamby?
Yeah. So right now you're like

(16:18):
standing next to Christopher, this tiny stuffed animal stuffed
bear, you know, this tiny teddy bear that is tattooed.
Covered in tatted. Totally prison tatted.
Who has done this to you, my friend?
Well, buddy had and yeah, and soyou're standing there so

(16:41):
reasonably they wouldn't be ableto like get past you.
To Namby's like on the other side.
Christopher But yeah, Namby's there, so you can kind of square
up and look big, which is not hard for Hugh as he is almost 88
feet tall. He's 7 foot 9.
Yeah, now I'm back down to 711 1/2 because I lost my robo legs.
But yeah, yeah, OK, cool. I just want to be like basically

(17:03):
be in between so that they cannot take swings without like
doing something special towards namby.
OK, the spine devil that you attacked looks at you like,
tries to get you with its fishing spear and it's going to
roll. Yeah, just one attack there.

(17:24):
See if it's with its, that it misses with its fishing spear
just like you're just like definitely like dodge out of the
way as he like really telegraphshis, his move as he's really
pretty injured and then his tailkind of goes back and slings at
you. A spear, all right, a spine and
totally whiffs, totally misses. He misses both of his attacks.

(17:48):
The other one takes its fishing spear and it's going to attack
you with both of its rules and is going to be a 19 and a 20 to
hit hit. So that is 10 points of piercing
damage total and nine points of fire damage total.

(18:08):
Oh. No, OK, I'm not on fire again,
am I? You are not on fire, no, just as
that spear hits you, sears you, and you could just feel it
burning there and that I. Can't activate regeneration when
I take fire damage, right? Yep, there we go.
Yep. No, I cannot.
Well played, Davidson. The non injured 1 is going to

(18:28):
fly up and over and it does not provoke any opportunity of
attacks when it flies out of an enemy's reach kind of just too
quickly dodges and flips and lands on the front of the sleigh
now and is like on the front very front of this sleigh.
Carl, it is your turn. OK, the one that is harpooned
behind me, I have a couple of questions about.

(18:51):
Can I see it in the rearview mirror?
Like in one of the side view mirrors of the sleigh?
Yes, you could see it. You could also turn and and see
it as well. OK, well I'm driving the damn
thing so I don't think I. Should just looking in the
mirror. It's.
Cool. It's cool.
If he's looking. In the mirror.
You can absolutely see it with the mirror.
He's the driver. It's the Jurassic Park shot of
like. The object is closer, but it's

(19:12):
a. Fucking demon in hell I'm.
Just so slow. It's very weird.
I have a question about hold person.
If I decide to hold person, doesit hold them in that space or or
in like? Is it relative?
I think wouldn't, I think because he's like gripped onto
the sleigh. It would, it would he would be

(19:33):
held onto the sleigh. If he was flying in the air then
you'd be able to like pause him there and then like leave all.
Right. That's, that's all the questions
I had. I am going to Yeah, no, no
further questions. I am going to cast Chill touch
on the demon that's in front of me.

(19:56):
OK. And that is what is that?
What do I got to? Sorry, this is only my second
time playing. Oh, like a special.
Touch. I think so.
Yeah, Andrew has that one. I got a 12.
Plus +4 is yours or no? You have a spell attack modifier

(20:22):
plus 11, so yeah, plus 11. OK.
So that's 23. Yes, that will hit and so this
is usually a range spell attack,but I'll let you he he's
technically a melee with you, but I'll let you use it as he's
like flying up. You're able to use it like lands
in the front. You can use this at at a range
attack. OK, cool, cool.
SO3D8. Yes.

(20:44):
Confusing the spell with the word touch in it is not a touch
spell. It's always.
Very confusing. I think they updated that for
the. Also confusing that it's like a
necroman, it doesn't do like it's not like ice cold.
Damage. There's no cold damage.
Do. Another way to making that was
18 the name. 18 damage. Damn, that's good damage on 3D8.

(21:05):
It's the best damage. I've ever done what is Carl's
Shoal touch does it Yeah. You cast in it and it looks like
this like necrotic like damage just hits him and and like makes
him crumple up a little bit and it looks like this like magical
like snow effect, but the snow like turns black as it hits him
and he just. It looks like that crappy snow
on the side of the road. It's.

(21:27):
Just. Gross.
It's just gross. It smells bad.
Yeah, that's the one your mom yells at you for eating when
she. Looks yeah, I never learned my
list say. Bonus action Before you go a
bonus, One of the bonus actions you could do is Bardic

(21:47):
Inspiration. That's what I was going to do.
I'm going to I'm going to hum a little tune out loud.
I don't have for Christmas. It's the it's the song that
like, calms me down and I'm going to give a bardic to
Christopher. Oh.
Yeah. Great.

(22:10):
And then so now it is the sleighs turn.
You're in control of the sleigh.Sleigh has 60 feet of movement
speed, which means Rudolph can leave this thing and dash the
dash with the reindeer for 120 feet of dashing movement.
OK, you start to take off. You take off with the sleigh and
you see up ahead you're wanting them to dash, but they really

(22:32):
can't because I need you to rollAD 3.
Actually D3 I don't have AD 3. Yeah, I don't have AD 3.
All right. D 6 / 4 I forgot.
D3 is. D 6 / 2.
Does any of do any of you have aD3?
Hold on, I'll do that. I'll do that.
I've got. D 6 / 3 that's.
Perfect. All right.
So I got a 5, so we'll go with the lower half of that.

(22:55):
That's a 2. I think A5 should be a three
like 563. 3 So we're rounding upgotcha.
Thank you so much for not being punitive.
All right, so we're. OK, it might be punitive, I
don't know what the hell this is.
I just feel like if we're dividing a deep 6 into threes
every two makes. Interesting you went like that
because I did like 1-2 three andthen 456 was again 123 in my

(23:16):
mind. Interesting one, I subtracted 3
from the average. I see.
I see that's a three. So the sleigh takes off into the
into the air and you're flying and you're wanting to dash and
move as fast as you can. However a fireball is flying
your way, you need to Dan make adeck saving throw.
All right, So that's a 6 + 8. So that's 14.

(23:40):
It is like a little at this point, like a small pinprick of
fire, right? That hasn't exploded because
that's how Fireball works. Well, I don't know.
This is a truth. This is a hellish.
Thing. It's.
Like an. Actual Harold.
Fireball. Goodness gracious.
Great. Ball fire the.
Sleigh takes off. You look, everyone looks forward

(24:02):
and sees as he is headed straight toward Rudolph, says
straight toward this fireball that's coming in the last
second. Carl pulls on the reins and
swerves. The fireball explodes and you
guys are going to take half damage from this, but you just
missed that full damage. That's going to be 15 points of
fire damage that everyone takes.OK, can I use my since I'm tiny

(24:24):
my evasion thingy if I'm subjected to effects that allows
me to make a saving throw, whichI guess we don't have a saving
throw on that. Get to do it.
Yeah, well. We.
Nugget is is 15 the halved or weare having 15?
No, 15 is what you take, OK? It was double that, OK.
I'm happy because I'm the systemOne hit point, Kyle.

(24:47):
Why do you always do this to me?I don't know the dice.
I think that my dice are soft oneverybody except for Nampi.
Yeah, except Brook. In general, just a brook.
Yeah, just. Me.
Actually, just me. Great, so you move 60 feet of
movement speed with with the sleigh.
The fireball hits you and explodes.
The devil on the back dead. He he gets hit by the fire.

(25:11):
Oh wait, no, he's never mind he's immune Fire hits him.
I'm. Just saying.
Blows past him and he's good. And the the other spine devil is
as well. You see in the back, you see
behind you where you left Harleyin the dust.
He's flying up. He's got 60 feet of movement
speed, able to catch up to whereyou guys are.
Oh God damn that fireball came out of nowhere.

(25:33):
Here's some more. And he starts flinging fire
flames at you guys. He's coming from the back.
His biggest target is Hugh and so he's going to hurl some
flames at Hugh. Misses two of them.
Jeez. Wild rolled 2 twos and then 16
so it's a 20. Hit. 24 to hit. 24 to hit.

(26:01):
Yeah, yeah, that hit. OK, that's going to be 22 points
of fire damage that you take from from Harley.
Wow, you are burning through those 113 hit points fast, David
said. And now you are.
I'm down to 40. You're fine of my 1:13.
OK, fires those flames. 2 of you, 2 of them go wide, one hits

(26:26):
you. Emtero, you are up.
How big is the sleigh? The sleigh is.
The giant apes fit on this sleigh.
A giant ape is just a large creature.
I think huge. Huge ape is huge.

(26:51):
I have to say, not with all of you in it.
You guys take up most of the space.
I think if you want a a huge creature to land on the sleigh.
What? Does Christopher rise on their
back? I am tiny in the eyes of a teddy
bear. Santa's sleigh.
Kyle, come. I'm.
Finally, bigger than somebody. It's gotta be bigger on.
The inside than it is if if if if Kringle Harkin Kringle could

(27:15):
fit. Sure.
Here's. What?
You can do. Oh, absolutely.
If you throw if you throw Santa's bag off of the sleigh.
Don't. Don't throw that.
To the bell, loud. Don't.
Throw. Inside.
Don't tell me that's. Barely use the giant.
What? Tie it I.
Need this bag. I need to.
I'm trying to help. Namby.

(27:36):
Because I can polymorph namby soshe has more hip points so she
doesn't die in the spite and so I'm just giant ape is just the
best option that has a bunch of elf that I can think of.
It's polymorph is hard because Idon't have every creature
memorized. You know, so I'm just.
Can you turn me? Into one of those like giant
eagles or something. Mini rock?

(27:57):
What about that? Yeah, I could do that again, but
it's just the. Same thing.
I know it's late. We did it.
You know, I want to do the giantape.
I want the big ape on this. What about a flying giant ape?
Now we're talking. It's a.
It's a. Huge.
Creature. It's a huge creature, it says.
Huge when? I looked up giant ape it.

(28:18):
Says yeah, there's no way it's going to.
It's going to fit normal. So do you want to get rid of the
bag? You can.
I can't do that. That really.
And how far away are we now fromHarley?
He's like 20 feet away from the from the sleigh.
All right, all right. I'm not going to throw the bag.
I was just hold. On the bag, does Christopher

(28:40):
breathe? No.
No, he's a cons, so yeah. He was in the bag, he can go in.
The bag go in the bag but. Christopher is taking up this.
Much that's true. I I literally.
Have an ability that I can move through any creature space if
they're larger than I am. Can you transfer?
Can you transform namby into a into a plush?

(29:05):
Just shove it in the bag. So that I don't have to breathe,
I. Think I have to like no.
Matter what type of. Thing I am.
How about I just man? Let's make him up.
So I figured I'm just gonna, I'mgonna.
Probably morph Harley and turn him into a cricket.
OK, perfect. That is cool that.
Oh, something that doesn't fly? Crickets can fly.

(29:25):
Turn him into like a mouse. Crickets.
I guess they can fly grasshop. I don't.
Think like grasshoppers like. A grasshopper?
Yeah, let's spell save DC. 17. He rolled in that 20.
Well, silvery barbs on that success and give advantage to
Namby because I want to give her.

(29:45):
Some teenage set thank. You.
Goes What's the spell save DC? 17.
Of a what check? Wisdom.
Wisdom. He turns into a cricket.
He turns into a cricket. You guys falling Morphin, you

(30:06):
see? I'm going to get you.
I'm going to feed you to the fishes and then.
He turns into the cricket and just falls straight down.
You just see it going like swirling, swirling down and
close to in into the River Styx water and you see this big fish
just like Roll and he's gone underneath the water.

(30:29):
The spine devils are like looking around like what the
hell? Anything else for your turn?
Go ahead and use my bonus actionto give a bardic inspiration to
Huguenard who doesn't have one, and say Huguenard, show these
devils what your fierceness can do.
If they do not, get off this sleigh immediately and give you

(30:50):
a. He does like cool little like or
tries to do a cool little flip with Bone Crusher and then kind
of jungles a little bit, almost drops it off the sleigh.
Don't joke about that. Don't give Kyle ideas.
That'll be only if I get a Gnat 1.
Christopher, you're up. Well, there are still 2 devils

(31:11):
pursuing us, is that right? They're like on the slide.
I thought one died. Didn't you say one died?
No, I did. But that was a mistake.
That was a mistake 'cause he's immunified.
One of one of them has been has been touched.
Right, Angel. Chill, Touched.
Yeah, OK, throw me down. I'm assuming that there are like
a lot of like small objects within this magical stack of

(31:34):
Santas. Yes, there it it is filled with
toys. I'm going to cast anime objects
and animate 10 tiny objects and will then fly in a swarm and
attack the devils. OK, great.
I will say I'm going to say knowing that those are in there,

(31:55):
Christopher will say sometimes the smallest things pick up the
most room in your heart or in this case in hell, and then
he'll send out this swarm of flying toys towards these guys.
So they each they each have a + 8 to hit.
They have a flying speed of 30 feet and they also have their

(32:16):
own hit points, AC, all that funjam and there's.
Ten of them, right? Ten of them.
Yeah, there's ten of them. So you cast the spell and just
behind you, you see this like rocking horse, like fly out.
You see a jack-in-the-box cominglike spring into action.
All these like classic kids toysare just flying out of this
thing. Another teddy bear that looks

(32:37):
kind of like you actually flies out, but without all the
tattoos. Ten of these ten of these toys
fly out All. Embroidered too.
Yes, Oh my gosh. Do.
You guys remember that? Like that toy that was like a
doodle bear. A doodle bear?

(32:58):
Absolutely I. Imagined.
Yeah, I wanted one of those I. Wanted one of those so bad every
time the commercial came on. So, yeah, so you you can command
all of them. Yep.
So go ahead and. That's bonus action to mentally
command them, and then it says they can each make one attack a

(33:21):
melee attack against Scrooge within 5 feet of it.
It's a flame attack and I just went ahead and rolled for all of
them. Or I can roll one individual,
whatever you want. No roll.
Yeah, yeah. Roll.
Oh, you're, you're did you say you rolled an intact roll 4 all
like one? Yeah.
I rolled an attack roll and damage roll for all of them to
save time. For each of them you rolled 10

(33:43):
for. Each of them for each.
Correct. So, yeah, so, yeah.
So I will tell you these things have an AC of 13.
So how many of them hit? 9.
Nine of them hit. Excellent.
And so their damage would be. I do the total.

(34:04):
I've always been bad at math. That's what calculators are for.
59 points of bludgeoning damage.59 They had a total of of 38.
I do think I have to roll on thewild magic table too.
Oh, I. Think, oh, do you?
Because that's, Oh yeah. When?
You. Yeah.
Puzzle spell. Yeah.
That's excellent roll, and you still have some of that

(34:25):
Sorcerer's Appendix wild magic in your system, so if you roll
one through 5 then it's going toactivate. 1818 no wild magic
surge. So you're these toys swarm out
and just absolutely swarm the one in the back, the one that

(34:48):
that looked really bad, RIP it to shreds.
And then the, the, the group of them fly around around the front
and swarm the one in the front and just attack.
And then there's one that's like, you see like Stretch
Armstrong little toy like go andlike wrap himself around and
just squeeze and like crush his body.
And he just crumples and falls off of the off of the edge of of

(35:09):
the sleigh. We are out of initiative.
You do see down in the river. You see that this like kind of
this like pop and you see Harleykind of climb up, swim up out of
the water. God damn it, I'm going to get
you. I'm going to tell my brother.
He's going to send everything after you.
You're all going to die. And you guys take off in the
sleigh. You do need to roll AD 6 again

(35:33):
as there is another effect that you're going to have to avoid as
you're flying into the air into hell.
I'm going to take out, like you said, there was two of them that
got killed, right? Yeah, the devils, whatever.
I'm gonna take out like a littleink well and like paint, 2
little tear drops. I rolled the two.

(35:57):
I rolled the two. So you take off on the sleigh
and then you see this like big flock of what you think are like
birds or like bats. And then you see that they're
just decapitated heads with wings that are flying and
they're like zombie faces of allthese different races and
species, fantastical species. You see this like dragonborn
head, like fly, and it's a huge flock.

(36:20):
You need to make a Dexterity saving throw, Carl Dan got.
Spoiled with Christmas time his first time around.
You're in hell now, Dan. I believe that's a.
That's a 14. That's a 14. 14 Unfortunately,
the next save for this was a 24.It's a huge, an absolutely huge

(36:41):
flock. And so it hits all of you for
six bludgeoning damage. OK.
Well, that's well. Oh, that's shit Namby's.
Down. Namby's down.
Whoo, hopefully somebody's got ahealing spell.
You fly off, you guys are prettyhigh now, above the water,
flying through hell. You can see a huge battle going
on in the distance. You just see this hell scape

(37:05):
which is of a Vernus, which is just like explosions, battles
happening. It's like kind of like just a
fiery desert outside of the river.
We're outside of initiative. Well, you see Namby's little
necklace light up for a second which as she falls and if you
have any medical you know. Healing.
Knowledge you can tell she's just stable, not making death

(37:28):
safes, but she is unconscious. I have mass cure wounds.
Do you have a low, lower level or?
It's just because. Mascara wounds is a big, that's
a big one. I mean, it hits multiple people.
If you have a lesser spell that can do the same thing, then
that. Would.
I don't think I do. And it might fall to that

(37:49):
because the only spell I have isaid and the effects of that are
already present on Namby, so I can't do that.
I know it won't work. Christopher doesn't.
He's going to try and use mending on her.
Now my friend, I understand thatshe is cute and fluffy like you,
but she is not she. She is organic.

(38:10):
She is not the construct. All right, that is 17 points of
healing for everybody. Wonderful.
Nice, I'll take that. For everyone, all right.
All. Right, all right, all right.
Swirling snowflakes go around usall.
They're. So nice, yeah.
Yes, the snowflakes. The, the spirit of Christmas

(38:32):
helps lift, lift you all up and you feel a little bit healthier
and you fly and, and, and Rudolph is leading the, the
sleigh. You guys are moving fairly
quick. You found the map.
You are kind of headed in the direction you think is the right
direction along the River Styx. And there's nothing chasing you
at this moment. You could see in the distance
that that Harley had tried to and tried to keep up a little

(38:55):
bit, but you you very quickly outpace him on this sleigh.
And for the moment, everything is still as you are flying
through the warm airs of hell. That was truly something, my
friend. Oh my goodness, where are my
manners? Allow me to introduce myself.

(39:16):
My name is Emtero. No need, no need.
You're all on the list. I already know.
I already. Know you're namby, you're
emtero, and you're a hue, right?Our representations precede us.
Nice and well. We.

(39:36):
Literally. Well, which?
Are we on? Well, I can't say that's
privileged information, but you are on the list.
I do know all of you, what's going on here.
Oh, my name is Carl, by the way.Hi.
Hello. Wonderful to meet.
You, Carl. Hi, Carl.
I look down at Christopher and you, my little stuffed friend.

(40:00):
Christopher, I presume? Oh, I think we've met before,
but I am a bear of very little brain and he'll kind of like tap
his head a little bit and then fiddle with a switchblade.
Well, my friend, no need to harmyourself.
No, no, no. We have not met before.
Allow me to introduce myself. I am in Tierra Bearstero.

(40:21):
These are my valiant companions.You can add Rockbridge and then
be Pambleton. We are on a journey through hell
and you are here to help us. Yes, indeed we are.
I thought I was here for more honey.
Oh, no, I do. I don't know if we have any of
that. Do you?
Still want to help? Will there be honey?

(40:44):
I I don't know where in hell. I don't know if honey is a is a
resource that is. Yeah, everything tastes really
bad here too. I.
Don't know if I. Would, yes.
The honey, Yeah. Oh, Christopher, I think even if
there's honey here, it might taste really bad.
I don't mind if it's hoodie. But it won't taste.

(41:07):
Is there is there any non livingmaterial around good.
The presents right. The the the gifts of are are so
present. How long are they active for
like? They're monstrous.
When we got hit, the guy hit. I roll the, I roll the one on my
concentration. I was just wondering.
If they're still moving, they they, they collapse and, and

(41:28):
kind of there's toys in the sleigh just resting there.
OK, it says I could use prestidigitation.
Can I? It says warm, chill or flavor up
to 1 cubic foot. Oh, we can flavor something.
Just. Like honey and.
Like like it. Flavor like other just bear as
like give. Them a D4, just give them a D4

(41:51):
and flavor that like honey and Chuck it to him.
Little D4 in world. In World D4.
It's in the bag. It has to be in the bag.
Somebody asked for dice for somebody asked for dice for
Christmas. You asked.
The worst part is Christopher hasn't thought of this.
He also has precipitation. Oh my gosh.

(42:14):
Well, it's a good thing you didn't, because Christopher
would just literally be licking everything.
Like he would go anywhere. He would just lick.
Everything, he would just punch this plane.
He wouldn't have a reason to leave the house.
Pretty sure. Only reason he's out of the sack
is the honey pot inside ran out.So that means you came out all
sticky. Oh.

(42:37):
Yeah. He's always sticky with Buddy.
Really got in the way of the tattoos healing just honey
constantly. Basically have like the spider
climb is like just an innate feature for Christopher.
He should just be. Oh my gosh, yes, because.
He's so sticky. But he has disadvantage of
getting unstuck from the walls. He's got to like Roll.

(42:58):
The team can pry himself on. I promise you my friend, if you
help us, I will give you a jar of honey.
That sounds good to me. Wait, you didn't say I was on a
list? And he'll kind of turn and look
at Carl with his beady little eyes.
I've got bad news. You're not on the list.

(43:26):
I thought we were just going to say, what's the sin when you eat
too much? I thought were just gonna say
that's. Gluttony.
Gluttony on the. Ring of mouth.
Gluttony has put you on the naughty list.
Because that's for the angelic bastards.
We don't care about that. That's right, the War on
Christmas. The War on Christmas.
Yes. You guys continue flying in the

(43:48):
air? Yeah, of.
Course it is, though, he's getting.
Hungry out of this somehow? Real quick, Kyle, 'cause I'm
still real hurt. Yeah, I'm going to cast a second
level Healing Word because you're welcome, Bones.
I stopped preparing Cure Wounds and I did Healing Word instead.
I have given up the argument. OK, can.

(44:08):
We don't do it on the sleigh. Can we?
You? You absolutely can, yeah.
So right now this as the sleigh's moving, you can short
rest on the sleigh. OK.
I wasn't sure we were going. To and so this will count as a
short rest. OK well I am going to use my
channel divinity harness divine power to get a second level

(44:31):
spell slot back that's I've used1 so just FYI get OK.
And you get the channel divinityback on the short rest I think.
Not the harness divine power. That one is a long rest, the
other ones are short rests. OK.
You continue flying, you take that that short rest, you get
that full hour flying pretty quickly over the the landscape
of Avernus. And you see in the distance over

(44:55):
the river, you see these massivelike black like metal Spire type
things that like kind of go overthe over the river.
You consult the map and look andyou look and you can see that
it's labeled the Stygian Docks. And you look at that.
See that thing? You remember Basilstein,

(45:16):
Harley's brother, the Pit Fiend,is in charge of the river.
That's his spot. And as you can spot that.
Basilstein, Harley's brother, isin charge of.
Should we should we steer clear or is was that the cricket guy?
Yes, the Cricket is Harley. His brother, if you can believe
it, looked even meaner than he is.

(45:36):
So I think we should stand. Can you turn him into like a
like a butterfly or something? I don't have.
My friend, but I am unfortunately out of spells that
would grant me that ability. Fair.
You see the you can see the docks and you can see like a ton
of activity of like flying devils, kind of like starting to

(45:56):
spill out and try and start to like spread out in the sky.
And if you namby with your eyesight, you can see a larger
figure, probably the pit fiend kind of stepping out on top of
one of the like top portions of this big Spire thing taking
flight as well. It looks like the skies are

(46:16):
going to be dangerous now. And so you all look around.
You can see the river beneath you.
There's a well looks like a small skirmish between demons
and devils that looks pretty active.
Off to the right you see this big like fire wielding demon
just like crushed down with somefists on these on these little

(46:38):
devils that are kind of moving around.
You see some like really jagged,spiky looking like cliffs.
And if you look over there, you can see these creatures like
kind of crawling up on these cliffs.
And then you look down and you see something different.
You see a collection of brightlycoloured tents clustered

(47:00):
together and you can see it kindof in front of you.
Pretty big collection of tents like this is like almost like
small town size and that you seethis huge infernal like war
machines that are kind of creating this big horseshoe
around this center of the this area of tents almost looks when

(47:23):
you look at it looks like this Oasis of comfort amid this dread
landscape of of Ernest. And and it looks, it looks, you
say Oasis, it looks real. That roll perception that.
Made my question. Yeah.
By the way, Kyle, you know my passive perception's 24 now.
Right, I do know if your passive.

(47:43):
Perception is. Ridiculous.
OK, what'd you guys roll, Becca?Just a three.
And Brooke Namby. 24. And MTRO.
I think you should have ended with namby.
I'm just going to say I have. 6.And Carl?
I got. I got an 8.

(48:04):
And and Christopher. I got a one with a -1 for a 0.
Oh my God. What did?
Prison do to. You, Christopher, everyone's
like, look at that brightly colored tents and you're just a
teddy bear in the like in this sleigh.

(48:26):
Like you're like looking againstthe wall.
You can't even like. Have that thing like A and like
a dog will like, you know, like eat like scratch it like a
stuffed animal and it has those like gouges in their little
their little black plastic eyes.I'm just like.
Sitting in a corner going. Think, think, think, think,
think. Not looking at anything.

(48:47):
It's either that or you discovered the prestidigitation
trick and you're licking the wayit's licking now.
NAMB, this is this looks real. It looks, Yeah, it looks very
real. Does not look like, not magical
at all. You hear some like, like soft
music coming from it. Yeah, as well.
Like some cheerful music. It actually.

(49:10):
Seems like a regular tone. She's like sitting in the
corner. You let him know like this thing
is over here. Yes, I I physically just pick
you up and turn your head. He he, you know what, like when
a baby sees like a like a piece of chicken and they just like,
start flailing or like a ice cream, that's Christopher in
your arms. It's like.

(49:30):
It's super exciting. I don't.
Think your initial one was when it sees a piece.
Of chicken, those are. The two.
Things babies love chicken and ice chicken.
And ice cream. I'm.
Pretty sure it's one of the two.I don't.
I don't know. You're about to be a dad, right?
Yeah. I would want to find.
Out what did they want? Yeah.
Oh no, in two weeks. What did that?

(49:51):
You're chicken. Oh my gosh.
It goes. You better take chicken to the
hospital, it's one thing. Chicken like chicken.
That's how you guys. Lure the babies out right, you
have the baby. Chicken.
Chicken. Here he comes.
Now with the. He will.
Look. Very excited and he'll he'll
just kind of go. My buddy, my buddy down there.

(50:15):
Your buddy. You have a friend down there?
His name is my buddy. Do we?
Do you want to head down there? It certainly seems the least
violent option in front of us. Then away we go.
So you fly go down and get closer to this market as you get
this just giant like you can seeit looks like this very active

(50:37):
market and you you get hit by these like smells too.
As you're getting closer. That's like actually like sweet
and like like wondrous nice smells.
And you land with the sleigh kind of right in front and you
see this man walk out this like human looking man looks like
he's wearing this like wealthy merchant clothes.

(50:59):
He's got these harem pants on these like big flowy pants and
he's got a beard, a bandana and just like the biggest charming
smile. And everything about him looks
normally he's like spreads out his hands and you can see his
wrists are like flipped the wrong way.
So his like palms are where his the back of his hands should be.
And as you approach, you see he steps up.

(51:23):
Welcome, welcome. Hello, my friend.
It's wonderful to see such an Oasis in the midst of this
unfortunate landscape. My name is Imtiro Berstera.
These are my companions. Huguenard, Rockbridge, Namby,
Pembleton, Karl, Kringle and Christopher.
We are told that you might, perhaps.
Christopher, Christopher, It's been so.

(51:45):
Long since I've seen you. I'm a buddy and he'll like
waddle like waddles over towardshim.
He, he, he picks you up and likeit, like gives you a big hug.
Yes, Christopher, it is good to see you.
And it looks like that ink has really held up.
You've taken my advice and not gone into any dryers recently.

(52:08):
Oh, the last time was one time too many.
Puts you down. Yes, I am not my buddy.
That is what my little friend here calls me.
I am my Hadi. My buddy.
Welcome all of you to the Wandering Emporium.
This is a menagerie of merchants, artisans, and misfits

(52:29):
who ply their respective trades and sell their wares inside.
And you may enter as long as youabide by the three rules.
No fighting, no spell casting, and no exceptions.
If you are in need of rest and relaxation, I would direct you
to my own personal establishmentat the Infernal Rapture.
The finest restaurant and most luxurious spa in the known

(52:52):
universe. Do.
You have any reindeer food? We have plenty of food, my
friend. We will.
We will take your wow, your magnificent beasts here, this
one with the Red Nose. Hands off, hands off, hands off.
Do you have any reindeer food, my friend?
Yes, we have plenty, plenty of food.

(53:12):
We will give you a beast in. Just give me.
All. We can take care of them.
We have this no. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Nobody touches that one. That one special.
My friend Carl, of course. Do you think it wise to leave
him outside? I I look, I know you, but I
don't know you. I know this reindeer.

(53:36):
Like. Intimately.
Yeah, that's what I was going toask.
I've only. Known him for like 900 years.
Only like 900 years. Me and this guy go back.
You would think that the foundation of your relationship
might be a little more stable after that.
Sorry, I'm a little irritable. Just a little.
You're welcome to. Walk with this magnificent beast

(53:58):
with you as as long as he, you know he seems well under your
control. I would trust you.
I would trust. You.
Are you good with that, Rudolph?Yeah, yeah.
And he like dims his nose so it's not so.
Bright, you know, do you, do youlead Rudolph or do you ride on
Rudolph what you entered? That's we're equals.

(54:19):
He's with me side by side. I say to our buddy, I say thank
you for being so accommodating to our friend's request.
He's he's not all there. This is wonderful.
You are the troop looks like will be a breath of fresh air to
this this landscape of of hell. But yes, it will be wonderful to

(54:41):
have you in in the market and toexplore and to being here where
there will not be any danger to you.
I don't mean to overstep, but itlooks like possibly you could
use some rest and he sees you. A lot of you are, you know, have
been healed, but a lot of you are damaged.

(55:02):
You guys kind of like look behind you.
You can see a lot of like devil starting to like fly in the sky
and start to like make their way.
You see Basilstein kind of like flapping his wings and kind of
making his way and he looks up. You have any business with the
Basilstein? We do not have business with

(55:23):
them, but it appears they might have business with us.
Would we be safe from them if weentered your town?
Oh yes, this is Basilstein. This is not his.
How do you say his jurisdiction domain?
His jurisdiction. Very good word, my friend.
You are very good with words. He.

(55:43):
It's my profession. I'm an author of some renown.
I believe it. His jurisdiction ends where the
market begins and he will not beable to come in and cause
ruckus. I will not allow, I will not
allow that. Steps right in.
There, but before we all move can can Namby just do an insight

(56:07):
check on Mahati? I just.
Absolutely. Yeah, I'm pretty.
Sure, everything come back definitely above board.
It's all. About that's a dirty 20.
No, sorry, 21 it. Doesn't even have fingers so
just be mad. He he seems very genuine.
You, you look at him and you think, OK, this guy is in charge

(56:32):
of this merchant place. Somehow he seems very confident
and, and you know, he just talked about a pit fiend being
someone that he would have the ability to keep away from.
And so at that level, you can tell like, OK, this is the this
guy has some power and authoritywith that.
You would also know that it's probably extremely difficult.

(56:55):
If you wanted to lie and and wanted to lie, he probably could
and he probably would be very good at it just getting that
look at him. But in your conversation, you
don't sense any sort of malice. You don't sort of sense any sort
of anything. All you feel is warmth from him.
I look at Nanby, I say, I think this is one of those rare
instances where the devil we don't know is the better option.

(57:18):
Yeah. I think you're right.
I know him, he's my buddy. That's true.
Christopher does. Know, but I believe.
Christopher knows. Welcome, welcome.
Step inside and and explore the market and you're welcome,
welcome here. Tomorrow the market will be

(57:38):
leaving this place and we'll be heading elsewhere.
So welcome. We will take care of the other
reindeer. Your red nosed friend can stick
with you. Thank you.
Appreciate it. And he lets you in.
And so you guys walk into the market and you can see all these
different like races, some that you've like never seen before.

(58:00):
You see some workers kind of walking around that are
salamanders like these like firelike salamander creatures, kind
of like Slytherin around. You see some like bearded devils
that are working. The bearded devils are devils
with like big long tentacled beards that are kind of gross.
You see. Some humanoid humanoids too.
You see an Armory, you see a place where they're selling

(58:24):
food, food that looks good. You see all of this and you also
see costs labeled on a lot of these different shops and they
all take soul coins it looks like don't like.
This out of that. Like me kind of soul or like
human kind of soul? Sol or SOUL?
SOUL or? SOUL.

(58:46):
Darn, I thought maybe I could just strut my stuff and get some
coins. You'd also see well.
Maybe you might be able to strutyour.
Stuff and get no. No.
I meant showing up like this story.
Christopher would rub his littlepaws together and then he'll

(59:06):
just go tell me and he's going to use false appearance.
So if he's motionless, a creature has to succeed on ADC
18 Intelligence investigation check to make sure he's not an
ordinary object. So he can just look like a
tatted up teddy bear and you could potentially sell him over
and over. If the devil wanted to buy a
tatted teddy bear, he'll he'll just go limp in the like of the

(59:28):
marketplace. I pick him up.
I appreciate it my friend, but Ican.
I can also create non magical objects at will and if we wanted
to sell something we could simply do that instead of.
Wait, hold on. Can't we not use magic?
Though. I could.
No spell. Casting.
That's not a spell, he said. No spell casting.

(59:48):
It's not a spell to create. I can, I can play a song if
like, see if we could gather some things on the street.
He didn't say anything against busking, right?
I don't believe he used the word.
No, he didn't use the word busking.
I'm using the word busking but I'm just asking.
Were you asked if he needed? Anything about bus, Just like I
don't believe he used that word.I don't think that was one of

(01:00:09):
the three rules. So I think I think it's fine,
right? It's in that Gray area, right?
Maybe it's it's under the exceptions.
He said no exceptions, but is busking really an exception?
I don't know. Let me try something.
A performance check is not spellcasting or attacking.
Right. So, so I pull out.
I pull out this, I pull out thislittle peppermint flute.
Yeah. OK, basic.

(01:00:32):
I, I pull out this little peppermint flute and just start
playing the song and just you'retrying to get, you've got it
around, get some coins. I'm I'm jazzing you up with AD
8. Amazing.
So roll a performance check and then you have a that's a need to
use as well. That's that's a 20.
I'm not going to use it. I'm not going to use the D. 8A

(01:00:55):
Gnat or. A.
It's just regs. You only have. 6 + 14.
You only have a minute. Let's see how long you.
Don't have various? All right, you can.
Plus 14. Excuse me?
So you rolled a. 6 + 14 yeah, you.
Rolled A6 Yeah, you get to roll the bardic like with inspiration

(01:01:16):
because of my. So you get to roll roll twice.
And get the higher roll on the D8 if.
You want on AD 8. OK, so 2828 foot 20. 8
incredible You guys hear the most magical Christmassy flute
playing of your life and he's just starts playing on the
street. Little hints of jazz.
Little hints of jazz. And like, you see this big, like

(01:01:39):
this, like, bearded devil like walks up and like, is that a
Christmas song? And he, like, starts listening.
Oh yeah. Yes, RF, it is.
It is a Christmas song, and the song's still playing while I'm.
Still playing and you like startto see like this little crowd,
like go around and and see you and, and kind of huddle around
you. And then you see people like

(01:02:00):
take out, they take out some like gold and stuff and you're
like, oh man, you're like, keep playing that.
And that's that's not what you're looking for.
And then that one, this one likedwarf walks up and takes out a
soul coin and everybody's like, what?
Looks at that? And it's like and then tosses it
in and sits like Rep tosses it in front of you, sits in the

(01:02:22):
ground like. Perfect, perfect.
Thank you so much. The it's it continues playing
while I go and pick up all the coins.
Thank you my dear friend. You must truly be the most
wealthy and generous of all the people in this town to give such
a wonderful gift. Just trying to go to anybody

(01:02:42):
else to it. Yeah, it's you can roll a
performance Jack or a persuasion.
I guess that are you, you're trying to persuade everybody
else to give money to. It's like a.
Sales. Roll a persuasion.
Roll a persuasion. That's much better for me, so
thank you. Ass roll though a 17.

(01:03:03):
I rolled a. Four I have not enough sold
coins are pretty valuable and the the dwarf just looks at you
and and looks up at Carl takes me back to my childhood yes
Christmas was a special time forme and I think I've forgotten

(01:03:24):
that here I. Think you got a hammer right the
last time? Who knows?
A red hammer. It made a noise when I shook it.
A little. Rattle my favorite toy.
Thank you. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
See me after the show. I got something for you at the
sleigh. OK, Christopher.

(01:03:45):
Hear what he said I. Don't know.
Can you hear him? Yeah, you're right.
He would fit straight up and it'd go.
That's why Christopher's not on the list.
Christopher's one of the items on the list.
No. Tell me a little existential
crisis. This is the thing he was twisted
for an existential. Crisis finally he says, he looks

(01:04:09):
up at you, Carl, and he's and heand he says, I thank you.
I maybe I should maybe I should try to leave this place.
It's been a long time, a long time.
And he turns and walks away. Another satisfied person.

(01:04:30):
Are these people like, alive, like us?
Oh yeah. OK.
What's the soul coins deal? Can we look at it now that we've
got one? Sure.
Yeah. You pick it up and it, you like
pick it up and you, you feel it's like, like, it's like this,
like dark energy that comes fromit.
It's this pretty big, like thickcoin, you know, and it's got the
skull on it. And you feel like there is a

(01:04:50):
soul, like trapped in this coin that you've picked up.
And that is like the currency ofdevils that you've picked up.
This is a vile object. Yeah, I don't want to touch it.
Naomi's like nothing. You pick it up and then you hear
Mahadi's voice behind you. That's the the currency of the

(01:05:13):
devils here, the soul coins. They are very valuable.
It is what the the primary tradeis here in this market.
Gold will not get you too far unfortunately, but what you have
there is very valuable. If you are looking for rest, a
soul Coin would grant One Night in the Infernal Rapture, my spa

(01:05:37):
and restaurant, but I I have an offer for you if you would like
to hear it. A bargain, you say?
I would love to hear it. A group like yours does not
typically traverse Averness without specific intent.
Caravan, this market, everythingyou see will be leaving

(01:05:58):
tomorrow. Once we do this, you will be
outside the market once again inBaselstein's domain.
If you come with us, my protection remains.
We could even take you to where you are maybe travelling to go.
This sounds quite agreeable, right everyone?

(01:06:19):
What do you get out of there? Exactly, yes.
I would like to know what your end of the bargain is.
Yes, there will be a bargain, but I and I will tell it to you.
And he kind of looks around. Let's yeah, kind of.
You can see like there's some like there's like a side like
some tents, like maybe like a short alleyway.
It doesn't look like dark or mysterious.
He just looks like he doesn't really want to talk openly, like

(01:06:41):
in the middle of the market, butmakes sense.
I see that you are all good people and good people would not
take a deal with the devil. And I may not be good, but I am
no devil. I wish not to entrap you with
with contracts or unfair deals. And so let's walk over here.

(01:07:03):
I'll, I'll, I'll tell you what the what the what I could ask of
you. And he kind of shuffles you off
to the side and do a quieter, quieter area of the market.
While we're walking, just real quick, I have to turn towards
Huguenard and say, Huguenard, I can't believe you never told me
that you are from the plain of Avernus.

(01:07:24):
I see all these devils and you are the most handsome devil I've
ever seen. You is so confused initially I'm
a little horrified at the thought that you think that he
is from it and then his face just like floods with blue as he
starts. Ethan's sweet little namby kind

(01:07:45):
of looks at Emtero like, is it for that, really?
Come on. That's cute guy I.
Do have a question about does what does the soul coin look
like? Is it round, black and small?
Yeah, round, like, I mean it like to me, like it's literally
like a huge coin. Like it's like a massive, thick,

(01:08:05):
heavy, like half the size of your body, your tiny, tiny body.
He kind of shuffles you to the side of the market.
Here on the market there is a a bone devil by the name of
Shelef. He has cheated many people and
the many devils. He has also committed the

(01:08:25):
cardinal sin of the 9 Hells. So do you know what that is?
Eating all my honey. That would be devastating.
Crivis Cook Vista fur. But no, the cardinal sin of the
9 Hells is insubordination, the penalty for which is death, for

(01:08:46):
which you can provide the punishment.
However, if it can be avoided, if he is desperate enough, he
can become a powerful ally, an informant for a place where my
patron, which is to have better eyes, where more atrocities are
being performed. He is a frequent patron here of

(01:09:11):
a casino here in the Wandering Emporium.
This is where he gambles that which he has already stolen and
the rumor is he is desperate. And if you can outwit him,
outplay him in a simple card game, you'll have no choice but
to submit. We're not allowed to fight, but
you said that one of the like the catch all options at the end

(01:09:33):
was was killing him. Maybe there is an exception to
the rule. If you are with me, the owner of
this market, and you are breaking the rules, there is a
retribution that must be given and you would be part of that.
But you also said there is no exceptions.

(01:09:56):
No exceptions to my rule which Ihave.
No exceptions except except exceptions.
He is the exception that proves the rule that there is no
exceptions. This is getting confusing.
The only, only rule is listen tomy buddy.
It's been a long day. I think I trust Christopher.

(01:10:16):
How are we supposed to make him deaf?
You said the punishment is deaf.How do we make a man deaf?
I actually have a spell for that, but I couldn't cast it
here unless it's an exception. That's not really an exception.
I'm sorry, my pole like. My accent out of my ears.
My accent sometimes gets the better of me.

(01:10:37):
A death. A death as in dying young
Christopher. I pulls more fluff out.
Oh other. You would have my prime captain,
my law keeper of this market, with you.
She is an Erinias under my service.

(01:10:58):
Erinias, Yes, an. Erinias.
I don't know what I'm going to have to pull more fluff out,
yeah. What was that?
What is this thing? I don't know anything we're
talking. About and that in.
Yes, you will. If you accept, I will have you
go to her. Well, it sounds as though my
friends, we don't have to kill anyone though really, we just
have to win that a card game. How difficult?

(01:11:20):
You got to play some cards game.We have the we have the child of
Santa Claus himself with us. Surely he has mastered games
over his 900 years of life. Mainly mainly Parcheesi, but
yeah, we we can try I. Mean, what do you what do you
think? I'm to RIP someone off at a

(01:11:41):
casino. Again, I'm in.
Why not? This stays.
This stays. Are you dead?
No, actually, Carl. Is that?
The. Naughty.
It depends on what state you're in.
It is for it. Is for a good.
Cause. Oh, so Santa follows the laws

(01:12:01):
and regulations of East state law?
OK, it's. It's such a it's.
Such a headache. It's such a headache.
You have, you have every state, you know, every state in Fay Run
has their own little rules for gambling and you got to keep
track of it all. And that that was my sister
Priscilla. All right, let's just go.
I mean, we want to go with this place, right?

(01:12:23):
It seems it seems like the best option that has presented itself
to us, perhaps the only option, almost as if we were guided to
it. But I do feel that I can trust
this man, and we've already doneso much violence to devils.
I hardly feel personally that I will feel much guilt if we are

(01:12:45):
forced to ultimately dispose of the beast in service of
destroying the ooze. What do you think you can art?
I mean, I'm OK with that. I just feel like I worry that
the trick is that if we fail at the card game that we then have
to turn to violence and then then he gets to save face by

(01:13:08):
turning on us because we broke the rules and like kind of
separating from us. Like I feel like we're probably
going to be tossed if we get caught doing this or like if
something goes bad that that's, I mean, I don't trust him.
You see the difference between me and you, Hugh Hamard is I
simply know nothing will go wrong and we won't lose the card
game. I mean, he seemed to be

(01:13:29):
trustworthy earlier. If we do lose the card game, we
take him somewhere quiet and we remove his bluff.
I I think I get what he's getting at.
When he pulls on his foot. Plate.
I guess they're just terrifying.I don't know.

(01:13:53):
I, I trusted people before and it didn't go very well.
So I feel like I don't know. I think we don't have really any
choice, but I, I don't trust thesituation at all.
I think that everything that hashappened to us has been a trick
and a trap, and this probably is, too.
And it sounds like Priscilla's dead, so that's cool.
But yeah, so I guess that's all we have to go with.

(01:14:14):
It is not a marvellous option, Iwill grant you that to Kennard,
but the alternative is facing the devils that are waiting for
us outside of this. Protection.
Yeah, there's nothing evil, Uzi.Read on This guy right?
Carl's cat looking pretty fucking red over there.
Yeah, Carl Sands, all. The red Carl you rearranged

(01:14:37):
Santa Satan. We.
Do we do share the same common enemy?
But are you this? I am no devil.
You will all be under the protection of my seal.
You will be acting as agent of mine with this as my Irena does,

(01:15:00):
and so this will be something very enacting.
Violence of course is not allowed here, but in certain
circumstances, if it needs to happen, I have the power to do
so. The spell casting is less easy
to get around. Yeah, you will not be allowed to
do it and be seen doing it. That will certainly blow your

(01:15:24):
cover against the bone devil. The fluff removal is OK.
Oh kind of jab with this. Give a thumbs up to that.
Fucking take a step away from Christopher right now while he's
standing. He'll tire himself out, don't
worry. So OK, so it's a card game,

(01:15:45):
right? Yes, and my Irenas will be able
to my Irenas, her name is a do well and she will be able to
give you some do well the details.
Aid Well, I know. I know him well.
I know him well. And what's, what's this guy's
name again that we're supposed to play with?

(01:16:07):
She live. She live.
There will be a spelling test onthis.
OK, I'm doing the recap, so I'm spelling things phonetically.
Unfortunately, part of the card game is you have to spell
everyone's. Name Edwell is currently
relaxing in her private suite inthe Infernal Rapture.

(01:16:28):
Visit her and tell her that she left plays in the casino.
She will know the plan. She will also spot you some
currency for this casino for youall actually all possess quite a
lot of riches yourselves already.
She has even more and he directsyou over to the Infernal
Rapture. You walk over to one of the

(01:16:50):
tents. It's like a bigger tent, but it
doesn't look like really big like it's just like a normal
tent with this like sign above it that's hanging.
It says Infernal Rapture and he directs you inside.
He said we already have a lot ofriches.
MTR has 15 gold written on his character sheet.
Yeah. He.
Thinks we have. I think it's our souls.

(01:17:13):
Yeah. I don't.
Like that though, and I like. Those things.
This guy's supposed to be trustworthy.
We've got souls. Yeah.
It's almost like we're in hell, Christopher.
No, Christopher is not on the list.
He was cool. Yeah.
But it was only 20 calls. Like straight up, he'd be good
at lying. I don't.
And then we can't trust him. I trust him.

(01:17:34):
I don't normally tell, but I don't know his name so it's
tough. I don't know.
Have you met someone whose name you didn't know before?
This is a first. I'm Christopher.
I'm not on the list and he's my buddy.
Oh yeah. That doesn't make me feel that

(01:17:56):
comfortable. Don't.
Bother. Out of the tent, you see this
like Eric Cocker, like Flamingo Girl walks out of the spa in
like this, like spa garb. It's kind of like, you know,
like fancy scrubs. But she walks out.
Hello, welcome to the Infernal Rapture.

(01:18:20):
Would you like to be? Would you like to stay or go to
the restaurant? We're here for the game and I
just wink a little. We have this place here.
Now Carl, my friend, we are hereto meet the head of security who
namby has written down her name.Edwell.
Edwell. Edwell, of course.

(01:18:40):
We are here for Edwell. Yeah.
Oh. Edwell.
You are OK. She's in her in her private
suite, somebody. We were sent here by Mhati, his
buddy. How about it?
She points to Christopher. Omahadi, yes.
It's like of course right away this way.

(01:19:02):
And she directs you inside. You walk in into this tent
that's like not very big. You walk in and you see this
massive marble room and you feellike the air changes as you walk
in. It's like sparkly and wonderful.
You get this like this like scent of like this, you know,
like lotion scent. It feels very warm and nice.

(01:19:22):
This big marble room has like balconies that go around all
these different rooms that workers are walking in and out
of. There's this big waterfall
that's like splashing down in the middle where there's this
big like 0 entry pool and some people like lounging around.
Very steamy and nice inside. And you look to the right,
there's this big, there's like arestaurant sign that just says

(01:19:44):
Infernal Rapture restaurant. And she walks you to a room, one
of the big sliding doors up on the, like, third balcony of this
place and says, OK, let me just check if she opens the door.
AOL. There are visitors that Mahadi
has sent to to see you. And you hear a voice.

(01:20:07):
Send them in. Oh, OK.
You guys can go on in. OK.
Do you have any advice on how wedo you have any advice on how we
should interact with a Doyle? Just like you seem like you know
them and you seem a little hesitant.
So I just want to know if there's anything we should be
prepared for before we go in. And hello, my name is Amtira
Verster. These are my friends who can add
Rockbridge and Amy Pembleton, Karl Crankel and Christopher.

(01:20:29):
Right. No, no advice as she runs away.
So you walk into this, you all kind of like file into this a
beautiful ornate room. There's lounge chairs, couches.
You see this like large, like a bar, kind of like a wet bar
that's like stocked with a bunchof drinks.
You see this like bed of fiery coals in the ground.

(01:20:51):
And then you see this big hot tub in the room that's sitting
on top of hot coals And the water in the hot tub is boiling,
like boiling water in the hot tub.
And you see this woman like lounging back in the hot tub,
and she has a. Lot of Christmases there.

(01:21:12):
All right, she has this like sharp jawline.
Her hair is like black and marooned and kind of like
flowing backwards about shoulderlength.
Her eyes are a piercing gold andyellow that like shimmer
faintly. And she's got this like neck
tattoo that goes down off the side of her neck and onto her
arm. And as you file in, she's like,

(01:21:35):
oh, didn't know we're having a party.
I would have put on something nice.
You have eyes like honey. Thank you.
Little teddy bear, man. Yes, hello.
This teddy bear man is my is is Christopher.
Hello. My name is Emtero Berstero.
These are my valuing companions who can not Rockbridge Namby
Pembleton and Karl Kringle. We've been sent here by Mahathi

(01:21:55):
to converse with you about some sort of.
Chilif plays in the casino. Yes.
Do. Good.
Do I notice anything about Aidwell?
Like anything maybe like like like what list she's on?
You don't oh, roll an arcana, roll arcana.

(01:22:22):
I'm going to check can I get or history?
Arcana or history? I can give the health action
regardless, which Kyle allows. I'll go Arcana and that's a
plus. I got a + 8 to Arcana, it's a 16
and you said the help action. Which?
Gives the advantage. It gives me an advantage.
OK, So I'll roll another one here.

(01:22:44):
That was a three, so that was worse A.
Better one. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you look at her, she used to be on the nice list.
OK, she used to be on the next list, OK.
But it is now on the naughty list or is not on a list.
Oh, she used to be on the nice list, now on the naughty list.
Now on the naughty list. Good.

(01:23:08):
I've been wanting to kill that Bony bastard for a long time,
but we. Won't necessarily be killing him
is my understanding. Right, right.
Mahadi wants him as an informant, so he talked with
you. Here we are.
Many of you gambled before. I've been known to win a little
bit of Parcheesi. Great Parcheesi teddy bear,

(01:23:30):
Christopher. I'm sorry, Christopher.
I gambled with buttons and acorns once.
OK. Yeah, we're going to win this.
Well, you guys will pick it up quick so you're.
Very fast learners, very capable.
What skills would you say are important for gambling in
general? Well, the the game that she left

(01:23:50):
plays is is called Temporal Poker.
It's all about deception and insight, knowing if someone's
lying and trying to lie yourself.
Well, I can. Read people, but I'm not very
good at deceiving others. But we'll, we'll play a few
games. You guys will need to play a few
games, get noticed in the casino.
You'll guys will quickly be kindof shuffled off into the High

(01:24:11):
Roller area, High Roller area where Sheila plays.
If you win, rumor has it is thathe is getting low on funds, like
real low. So if we beat him, he's going to
have pretty much no choice but to listen to me and my rope and,
well, he'll join us and be able to be an informant so we can see

(01:24:34):
kind of what's going on with himand his little rebellious devil
group. Sounds simple enough to me.
So if you beat him, he'll fold. If he beats you, then we'll just
beat the shit out of him and call it a day.
Call it a day. So sound good.
I mean, I guess, can we? Could we have a moment maybe in

(01:24:57):
the hallway we we interrupted your bath and I feel so bad
about that. Well, I don't know how long he's
going to be there, so he should probably get going.
And he and she stands up and sheis completely naked and she has
absolutely no shame. She just stands up and you see
like these tattoos that go around her body namby you see on

(01:25:18):
her chest a very well inscribed brand of the Insignia of soul
branded on the scent of her, of her.
Chest, that's what. Yeah.
Can we maybe while you towel offwe could have a conversation?
Sure. She and she walks up and she's
kind of like walks up close to you, Hugh, and gets very close
to you. Yeah, no.

(01:25:41):
She holds out her hand towel andyou look around and you can see
the towels are behind you. Yeah.
She takes the towel. She.
Doesn't she? Doesn't even.
Cover up with the towel. She just like slings it over her
shoulder and she says, all right, I'll be out in 15.

(01:26:03):
And she turns and walks to the back of the spot.
Jesus room. It's a lot of armor.
It's a lot of armor guys. And she's walking away.
She's walking away, not covered up by the towel like at all, but
she's walking to like one of those standing dressing room
like dressing room dividers kind.
Of in the back of the screens, yeah.
As she's like walking away, Christopher just shouts, You

(01:26:26):
have beautiful eyes and then turns around.
She like. Turns and like and and and
smiles just like the most confident energy of of, of any
of. She's so confident, so naked.
She walks walking. She's not looking I like.
Her and you guys shuffle. Out sticker.
So confident, so naked. And yeah, you walk out of out of

(01:26:52):
the room, you're standing outside of her spa room now.
Wait, what? She had a tattoo of.
Soul. Yeah, no.
So. Yeah, exactly.
So there's things that are clicking in my there's something
that it's just in the back of mymind and a story that I remember
hearing. Christopher has been very
obviously corrupted and there's tattoos all over.
She used to be on the naughty list and now she's covered in
tattoos and corrupted. We are supposedly going to

(01:27:16):
someone who is not good, but what if they're actually what
they're doing is and they're stealing?
Is stealing in like not a bad way?
It just annoys this guy and he'sactually the bad one.
And that other guy's not actually even that bad.
There's very obviously a corrupting force going on.
Look, he's got a Shiv. And I point down to Christopher.

(01:27:39):
That's not our old story. Like like tuck it back away.
Can I make a deception? For sure make a.
Deception to do it. With.
Disadvantage. We forget.
Disadvantage, Disadvantage. Giving us in the air with with.
Disadvantage. That is a 11.

(01:28:02):
And do I do a perception? My passive insight is 19 guys.
All of my passive. Perceptions beat that.
Yeah, I just rolled an 18 on thedice.
Yeah, you fumble it as you're like putting it away.
Oh well. OK.
God this is so confusing. OK, OK, so but he seemed nice

(01:28:24):
though when we came here and he's protecting people from
devils. Is he the OR is he just meaner
than the devil so they won't interact?
And then there was that dwarf guy who had like good memories
and and like evidently was on the the good list and got toys
and stuff. And then Nat was here,
forgetting his life. Subjective morality sucks, OK?

(01:28:51):
It's a dwarf of very little brain.
Can I do a a an A insight check for the past interaction with
her? Sure.
Yeah, Kyle, is this going to be Casino Royale?
Am I going to end up tied to a chair with somebody beating?
My nuts. With a nuts.
Yeah, that's the next episode. Stop spoiling the next episode

(01:29:11):
if you want that. If you want that for Christmas,
I'm sure we can work something out.
Oh my God. Oh my God, Santa gives you your
kinks for Christmas. Wouldn't.
Be the first time. We're going to ruin Kyle's
favorite holiday. So what happens when you put
your Christmas character in hell?

(01:29:32):
OK, I got a 25 on that insight. She she seems pretty nonchalant
about everything. She seems like a a muscle,
right? She seems like a hired muscle
with that like brand of of soul that that makes you ask a lot of
questions. She's got some wings on the back

(01:29:54):
of her on the back of her an Angel back.
You've met an Angel of soul. Yeah.
She looked kind of similar. Oh my gosh.
We had the eyes of an Angel. I just, I feel like maybe we're,
I don't know, we're just kind oftrusting this because it looked
nice and I, I trusted things that looked nice and then I got

(01:30:14):
like led to die. So I just, I'm feeling like we
should be more on guard in hell.Kyle, can I do a religion?
Check for. What fallen angels I.
Know I don't. I don't either.
You would know. You would know that that fallen
angels exist. Like if and if an Angel goes

(01:30:37):
against the will of soul, goes against the will of its deity,
then it will fall and lose its connection to that deity, but
not lose power, become an kind of an evil version and lose that
connection. That Angel I met was really
strong. Does she look that strong?
The the Angel you met gave off like an aura of power that just

(01:31:00):
felt like you needed to go down to your knees like that.
That type of interaction with her.
Not necessarily. You didn't necessarily get that
effect, however. Yeah, however, she did have the
effect of looking like a very fit naked woman.
But. But it wasn't you.
Want to go with? Beautiful eyes.

(01:31:22):
We were all thinking that it's fine, I'm sorry, all right,
okay, okay, well, Amtero is really good at like, persuading
people and maybe fibbing a little.
I'm also fairly good at persuasion.
Maybe it'll be fine, we'll just win the game and it'll be fine.

(01:31:44):
But what if this? I don't know.
The door opens up and she steps out and she's got this like
fiery, really cool armor on that's like got these like
points to it. She's not wearing a helmet, but
she's got it in her hand. And you see that she has this
like golden whip or like golden rope that just like circles
around her hip. She's got this big, big sword.

(01:32:05):
She's to her side. She steps out.
All right, ready to go. Yep, yeah.
Well, it's that over as ready. As we can be.
So you walk out, you leave the infernal rapture and back to
hell. You know, this place was nice
and mystical. And now it's just, you know,
this dread hits you as you walk back out into hell.

(01:32:26):
And you walk through the market and you can see that like, the
path is like kind of widened. You know, people are moving to
the side as she's leading the way.
People know her fairly well in here and know that it looks like
people are kind of, you know, scared of her, don't want to
interact with her. And you walk to the end where
you see a pretty big tent set up, you know, multiple looks

(01:32:49):
like multiple tents kind of all connected to each other.
And the a big sign on the top that says Lazarus Casino.
And you walk in and you can see the first thing in the front of
this casino you, you go into theroom, you see lots and lots of
tables set up, lots of differentpeople playing of all different
races and species. Right in the front.

(01:33:09):
There's this canister with this big worm in it just kind of like
looking. And she like beckons you forward
and she steps up and she says tothe worm spot one of all of them
take one year from me and give it to all of them.
And you see this life force get sucked from her and put to you

(01:33:29):
and you all gain a year of life.And she says that should get you
started. So this is the Lazarus casino.
You can see a lot of the workersaround are like fly creatures
and and she says these are the the Caleb race.

(01:33:51):
They created this casino and here you bet time the the race
here. They only live about 24 hours.
So they came up with this kind of set up to lengthen their time
span and they have made it very well.
And so this is one of their casinos.
So the game they play here is called Temporal poker.
It's a game of cards that's mostly about lying and telling

(01:34:12):
if people are lying. So you all should play a few
hands to get the hang of it or just play some of the minute
slots. And she points over to these
like slot machines that are justlabeled minute slots.
That's where they get you. Those are those are not the word
of anybody. There, you had immediately
started turning towards them. This is the shiny lights.

(01:34:34):
She says because you're all young and you have lots of life
to give, you'll be invited to the High Roller room relatively
quickly. Find Sheila, join his table.
He's a disgusting bone devil. You will not miss him.
I'll be behind the tents near the High Roller area and she you
hear her voice in your head. I'll keep a line open.

(01:34:54):
If you need something, just reach out.
And you like hear her voice in your mind.
I can't go back to the High Roller room that will alert him.
I'm really, you know, can't really be here too long, draw
too much. Attention How long do the games
last usually? Hands are pretty quick and rumor
is he's desperate, so if you push him he'll probably deplete

(01:35:18):
a lot of his remaining time left.
Now another question I have justis me.
Karl Kringle is an immortal being, yes.
So simply, how does gambling work for him in this casino?
He's got a lot more. Damn near close to I'm for sure
a High Roller. Christopher, I'm not even sure

(01:35:41):
if he technically is alive, so Idon't know.
Yeah, I'm not sure how much. Time you got there, Christopher.
Christopher does not aid he he doesn't have anything to gamble
with. It's basically poor.
He's got 0. Money.
Just Carl, it sounds like you'rea bit like me, you know, and,
and you just saw her give five years of her life away to you

(01:36:05):
all as you each gained a year and didn't seem to care at all.
She didn't seem to care at all. Can I add to the ante?
Oh sure. Yeah, it's a betting game.
OK, I take 10 off and everybody,everybody else gets.

(01:36:25):
I take 8 off and everybody gets 2.
That's a much easier math to do,I appreciate that.
Yeah, yeah. So you step up.
I have. A negative.
I have a -2 to intelligence here.
The worm looks at you and you just feel like, like that eight
years of your life gets sucked. It feels awful.
Like it feels really, really bad, but it does it.

(01:36:46):
And everyone else gets two extrayears.
You all have three years, years banked.
Wow. OK, Hey.
Your beard's looking slightly wider, Carl.
It'll get worse before it gets better, just like the Santa
Claus that like, gets fatter andthe white.
Beard. Oh wow, OK, but just one person

(01:37:08):
has to play the guy, right? I think you'd probably be better
by maximizing our odds, right? We control more of the table.
At least while we have like extra live or extra years.
That that communication you're using with you, does that work
in between us as well or not? Try it.

(01:37:30):
Oh, between each of you now, just with me.
OK. Do you hear so?
Let me know if it's going poorly.
Let me know so I can come in and, you know, help help you out
if he starts attacking or you start attacking.
If if all goes according to plan, I'll come in and and we'll
arrest him, take him in. OK, what does your rope do?

(01:37:53):
Tangles him up. So it's just a rope.
OK, You made it sound real scary.
It's a real good rope. Can I not upcast sending?
Can I not use a fourth level spell slot for sending which is
a third level spell? I think you can always use.
This I think you can always. Use the hair it's.
Not. Listed in D&D Beyond on my 4th
level spells and every other spell is if.

(01:38:17):
We say that. Chemistry.
Was OK or? We can't cast it away.
I'm. Going to say yes.
We can. We can.
We can. Cast a spell.
We can with, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, add aid. Well, we can, because that's a
that's an extension of. Well, he said that you.
Can't be seen casting spells or.That's what you said.
OK, gotcha, gotcha. And and sending has all all the

(01:38:40):
things it has visual or verbal somatic and material.
So I so I was thinking that I could like send to MTRO or
something because I have good insight but I have literally a +
0 to deception. Is anyone good at both?
No. I actually I have a plus. 4 to
deception. I have +7.
Oh good. Inside.

(01:39:01):
Now that's good. It's a -1.
Yeah. I'm +7 to Deception and +2 to
Insight. I've got.
Like +2 I've. Got +2 to everything 'cause I
get like half proficiency. I have +9 to deception, +6 to
insight. Oh.
Damn, but and you're. Immortal and you're immortal.

(01:39:22):
Can we just play you, I mean. Yeah.
I want to try something first though, if I can.
Before we get into the room or after we get into the room?
After we get into the room. When?
When we get into the room? When we get into the room.
I'm dying out here guys, so fucked.
Up. So she says, all right, good

(01:39:43):
luck, let me know, you can talk to me at any time, let me know
how it goes. And she walks out.
And so you look in the room and you see a bunch of tables set
up. There are 4 tables that you can
see that have some open spots. There are also the minute slots
there if you'd rather just sit and play.
Do you get the sense that you can't really loiter in here?

(01:40:04):
But but yeah, there are 4 tables.
Each table has two open spots toit.
But how do you guys spread out? Why?
If someone's by themselves. I I'm probably the best option
to go by myself, right? Or Christopher Honestly.

(01:40:27):
Or. Christopher.
Somebody might need to go with Christopher to keep eyes.
On Yeah, I don't know if Christopher can be left by
himself. Namby's not very assertive, so
maybe. That namby.
All right. Hey.
Hey, Chris. Christopher.
Christopher. Tell you what?
Yes, You behave yourself. I'll give you a ride on Rudolph

(01:40:47):
here. What do you say, Rudolph?
You you look back and and Rudolph could not fit through
the door. He's his big antlers.
He is outside, he's outside. Yeah.
Yeah, I just look at Christopherand I'm like, that was a yes.
That was a yes. So yeah, I wish we had looked
over and seen Rudolph was like smoking a cigarette at the

(01:41:09):
slice. Just like.
He's been here before. He.
Knows, yeah. He's an old pro come December
25th. As soon as that midnight hits,
he's. Ready to go?
He's off, He's off the. Clock trips to Atlantic City.
You see this like old, yeah, this like really old looking

(01:41:33):
human male kind of sitting over to the side, got grey hair.
You see his like hands kind of shaking over the the pole on one
of the slot machines and he goesand he pulls it.
Oh. Shit.
And goodbye and he and he goes. Cassidy wins and it's like a
thing and he gets and it shows like one hour left and then he

(01:41:56):
like. Oh God.
Pulls it again, that's the saddest thing and he wins.
He. Gets he gets like he gets like
6, he gets like 6 more hours as he's and he wins twice in a row.
Yeah, this place is awesome, allright?
And he walks in and he looks like he's going to just keep
playing this game. If anyone keels over all right,
No, I can't I. OK.

(01:42:18):
Damn it, I can't cast spells. I'll take, I'll take Christopher
with me. OK, so Christopher and.
Christopher's with me. We'll put you at table the first
table you come across. I don't want Namby or Hugh to be
by themselves. I think I should go by myself
because I have plus. I can be by myself I I take up
two chairs anyways basically. Pluses in both things though,

(01:42:38):
you don't, right? I have 0 and a + 1.
I'm technically in so I think you should be with me.
I think I. Nami doesn't want to be by.
Herself and Tyro, you go off to table, yes.
Two I'm a Table, 2 I'm so I'm ordering you 2 the other.
Tables are are are filling up. People are are kind of trying to
take some spots. So Table 3 is where we'll put

(01:42:59):
Nami. Wherever I'm being sat down.
Can I? If we're all within 30 feet and
this is not a spell, Kyle, can Ido?
Kyle. Kyle, it's.
Not a spell. I'm going to do emboldening
Bond. Yeah, features are are totally
fine. So features, as long as they're

(01:43:20):
not like damaging people, right?Like or like causing a scene.
I. Mean I totally fine.
What, what, what? Related to that, I'm going to
summon my echo, which isn't a spell, so that Emterio has a
buddy. No, I was going to make my own
buddy with my animated performance.
I was gonna ask. If there was any ashtrays I
could animate so I could just have a little ashtray friend

(01:43:41):
smoking next to me while we're getting.
Yes, that's totally fine. An ashtray, yes.
Yeah. You animate an ashtray.
It's smoking and like dabbing. Wow.
You see, it's like this, like it's like this like like like
devilish looking dragon thing that like curls up on this like

(01:44:01):
ashtray like it's a really cool thing and you like animate it so
it's arms like reach down, take take out this cigarette butt and
just like you. Send it a.
Flame and it just it's. Just.
Like it's like dabbing on itself.
Dabbing so. It just keeps.
Really, it's like one of those like enclosed terrarials.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, So my my emboldening bond is

(01:44:23):
gonna. I'm sorry, Hugh, I look up at
you and I go sorry, but I think I think that that that guy is
has a really good, good shot. And so I gave it to me and Hugh
and Oh my gosh, I forgot your name.
Great. Carl.
I was saying Chris, because obviously.
But Carl, Chris. Yeah, yeah.

(01:44:45):
So what is this? So you get to do AD 4 to 1 roll
on each of your turns. So I'm confused.
Sorry. Brooke.
You said. I'm sorry, Hugh.
I think he has a chance. And then you said my name, that
you gave it to me. So are you sorry to me, or are
you giving it to me because you're sorry?
I am sorry to you, Imtero gets it.

(01:45:06):
I get it so. OK, that's why I OK so.
Sorry. So yes, I am.
Is bardic? Is bardic a spell or is it just
it's a? Feature.
Then I am going to, you're goingto, you're going to hear like me
whistling like all I want for Christmas is you and Hugh.

(01:45:27):
You're going to get a bardic. Oh yeah, what's your bardic
which will have a? Bardic.
Size. So you should get 8.
Or 10. It's got to be a 10.
I think it's a 10, yeah. Yeah.
D 10, Yeah. Thank you.
You're welcome. Sorry, Christopher.
Thanks for being here. I did roll on my table to summon

(01:45:49):
my echo too, and I love it because out from the journal
pops an inky fairy and nutmeg arrives.
So, and that nutmeg kind of, we'll just say that she's like
fluttering with her wings right behind.
Christopher's old. Friend, just looking at
everybody's hands, I'm just about that.

(01:46:11):
Exactly right, just hovering around.
Just like Grab. No, Christopher, you know her
first. You know.
Her. Oh, that's right.
Don't eat her. I remember now, Meg.
We don't need friends, Christopher.
OK. So Carl and Christopher, you sit
down at the at the table. So everybody if you have 5D

(01:46:35):
sixes, you can grab them. Otherwise I will send you a
online link if you'd like to roll this online because this is
Yahtzee sort of. So I.
Don't know how to play Yahtzee. I'm excited.
Send it. Send it.
That is the most absurd thing I think I've ever heard.
I don't know how to play Yahtzee.
I've never played Yahtzee. I'm.

(01:46:56):
Guessing. That.
Once I'm so we. Play AD and D when we can play
Yahtzee. I'll play some Yahtzee.
The original dice game. Above the table question, are we
able to use luck points during this?
Yes. OK.
Yeah, it's allow you to re roll and stuff.
Fuck is yachts. OK, you.

(01:47:17):
Have to roll all the same numbers.
That's wild. OK, so so in this game there are
hands that are good, better thanothers.
And So what you do in this game is you roll your 5D sixes that
you have, you roll them and thenyou can you have two re rolls
where you can save any ones thatyou've already rolled and then

(01:47:40):
roll the ones that you're not saving again.
And then you can save again and then you can roll again.
So you get essentially get 3 rolls to try to get the best
hand. Best hand is yacht is, is all 5
dice showing the same number. So if you roll and you roll, you
know, 2 threes, 4-5 and one, then you'll probably just save
the two threes, roll the rest ofthem again and roll the rest of

(01:48:04):
them to try and get more threes and then try again for more
threes. You know, that would probably.
That's generally how you play. You want.
The same same numbers. You want the same number.
So the best thing is a five of akind.
Second best is four of a kind and then a full house and then a
straight, which is, you know, 12345 then a three of a kind.
What's the full house? 2-3 and two.

(01:48:25):
Yep, 3 and 2. So Carl and Christopher, go
ahead and roll and do all of your roles and see what you get.
K. Where'd they go it to do?
Roll and. The minimum bet for these
tables, the blind, is one month,so you're coming and betting one
month to be able to play. Christopher does like.

(01:48:48):
Six months currently because of Carl giving us an extra. 2.
Years. And we rolled 2 times, right?
You can three times total three times.
Total. A hold those and oh nose, and I
want all of them to be the same or that's that's.
The that's the goal is to like. Just like a poker.
Yeah, poker stuff. So full house.

(01:49:10):
I got this, no fun. Well, I got 2 sixes, 2 fours and
A1. OK, so you have a two pair
basically, yeah. Carl, what'd you get?
I got 2 sixes, A5A4 and A2. OK, so you have a single pair.
Yeah, I was going for it straight.

(01:49:32):
Gotcha. So you have a single pair and
Christopher, you have a two pair.
So the rest of the table kind oflike folds looks like most of
the people at the table kind of fold.
There's one bearded devil there,big tentacle beard.
He's like holding his, holding his cards up with his, with his,
with his beard. You both of you can choose to

(01:49:52):
roll either Deception or Insightand he will roll the opposite of
that. Do.
Deception. I'm going deception.
Kyle. So you're both doing deception,
OK? Big money, big money.
For my emboldening bond, it's once per turn.
So what is per turn in this context?
Once per turn, you get to do what?

(01:50:13):
Once per turn you get to use AD 4.
So like every six seconds or I don't know, whatever, but how
do? You how do you want to probably
every hand at 1:00 at one point?Yeah, in the hand.
So you can only use that on either your insight or deception
I think. OK, one of those so they.
Only roll 1. I got I got a 13.

(01:50:33):
I'm going to roll AD 4 here. 17 OK, and he at this point he
raised a month. OK, I'll see and raise two
months. I got a four on that.
So that brings me to 17. OK, he folds.

(01:50:56):
And so you are going to win the pot, Dan Cool Carl.
And so Christopher, you lost twomonths and then you gained the
rest of the pot, which now I gotto do math.
It was five months to start and then he raised it, which
Christopher put in an extra 1 and he put an extra 1 and Dan,

(01:51:20):
you put an extra 4IN or three. I saw and raised 2, so that
would be 3. You raised two, Yeah.
So, OK, so nine months, you get an extra 9, you win the pot, you
get 9 months, you won that round.
Infinite life. More life, yeah.

(01:51:42):
You get more infinite. Life M Tiro, you are at Table 2.
Go ahead and roll your Yahtzee your I already did.
I have your your poker hand. Yes, OK.
I got a Do I tell you? Yeah, I got a full house, 33
ones and two. 3:00 Nice. OK, goes around the table.
Most of the table folds. There is one of the guys sitting

(01:52:05):
there that has the helmet boltedonto his face.
The guy with the armor on what like one of the guards that you
saw at X Jizelot's castle, the ones that ran away.
You look and see one of those guys sitting there and looks at
you and he doesn't seem like he recognizes you, but you are

(01:52:26):
playing against him. Go ahead and choose if you want
to roll an insight or deception.He is.
I'm going to stay. He is not going to raise.
I'm going to raise him a year and I'm going to do a deception.
Roll, raise a year. A year I got OK fucking throwing
down. Go ahead and.

(01:52:47):
Go ahead and roll. Raises lifespan.
I'm a gymnasi, fire gymnasi. I'm only like in my 20s.
I feel like I'm fine. OK, roll a deception.
I'm at 20 2027 plus my emboldened.
I also got a four on SO 31. Wow.

(01:53:10):
He smiles real big and he calls and he puts a year down and
everybody's like whoa, like that.
Was a lot. Like the tables?
Like what the heck? And so he he he does that.
Go ahead and you show your cardswhat numbers are your full is
your full house. 3 ones and two threes. 3 ones and two threes.

(01:53:35):
Yes, he had three fours and two ones.
He wins the hand, swoops it and takes it in.
And so he You lost two years anda month?
No, a year and a month. Yeah, a year and one month gone.
I just up to you of your life away.

(01:53:55):
Namby and Hugh at your table, goahead and roll your poker hands.
I OK, I did that creatively as well.
Yeah, I rolled mine too. So with two rolls I still have a
third left technically if I wantit.
What is a full house in the order of things?
It's the third highest of the scoring options.

(01:54:17):
All right, I'm going to keep mine.
I'm not going to roll again then.
Oh do. You have a last.
I have two sixes and three fives.
Yeah. Keep that.
Hugh, what'd you get? I got a full house also 3 ones
and two fives. Hey.
Hey. I don't know man.
Let's go main. Party, you're at this table and

(01:54:39):
this and and everyone folds except for this one dwarf and
he's got like this mug of beer in his, in his hand, his ale.
And he's like, oh. You're going to kill this guy.
And he like slams it down, he looks a little bit saucy and and
he raises 2 months. You can choose to do an insight
or a deception on him. Are Namby and I playing against

(01:55:01):
each other too? Yes.
What if we probably. Should have split up again.
Why can't we sit at the same table?
Can we, can we fold at the same time if we win, if we both win
to split it? No, one of you has to win.
So yeah. And you guys you're.
Not showing your each other your.
Cards you know Nabby has the better full house.

(01:55:22):
Yeah, but but I wouldn't know that.
Can I roll deception to fake like I have bad bad hand?
Yeah. So that, yeah, that would be
what you would like. Yeah.
So you go ahead and roll deception.
Plus D4 Namby is OK all right sonamby is very nervous person

(01:55:49):
right? She knows how to fake this.
Her foot is a tap in she's she's.
Squirming her seat. She's like acting normal for
her. That's a 23.
A 23 amazing. He looks over you and smiles
neat and he had already raised two months, but you can see he's

(01:56:11):
he is not adding anything. He's he's he adds he adds four
more months on to it. So he's betting 6 months at this
point. So the pot is it's to call it
six months. Yeah, yeah.
To call is 6 months. I look.

(01:56:32):
At you Q you can roll an insighton namby.
Yeah, I want to do an insight onNamby, like I know her pretty
well. That is a flat 15.
Yeah, yeah, she's nervous. She's got a bad hand.
Bad hand. Oh.

(01:56:53):
Did you use your D4? I don't know how you define
guilty of it. Sorry you.
Yeah, sorry that time. When?
Did you have the bardic? On yours, I know that sounds
good to ask. You got a 24.
So, so you still have a well, you used insight on Namby, so
you don't actually have a role anymore.
So, well, I was. Going to see if I could use my

(01:57:13):
bardic on that with that 15, butyeah.
Yeah, I rolled. I rolled really well in the
deception, so yeah, yeah. Yeah, I will.
I will. I think Namby's tanking it and I
have a pretty good hand, so I'm gonna meet the call on there
with six months. You put the six months in, so
that was it. Was like 18.

(01:57:34):
Million, do you call on the six months?
Oh. Yeah, I do.
I stay in whatever that is. I call Namby's not a gambler.
OK, so there's 23 months on the table and namby you win as you
guys flip over your your hands. He had a he had a streak which

(01:57:56):
was just beneath what you guys had.
And so he yeah. And he walks away and and you
can see as you guys win, as thishappens, each table has this
little like worm in the middle. And you can see like the life
like, as you are betting, you feel that like life force like
leaves your body into the worm and then it gets dispersed out.

(01:58:18):
You all play a hand and sit there and then very quickly all
of you kind of get this tap on the shoulder, you know, these
bug creatures kind of walking around and you're handed a
letter inviting you to the high stakes room.
And so you make your way kind ofcollectively together.
Maybe you're trying. Are you trying to be sneaky
about being separate or just kind of walking together?

(01:58:38):
I, I think I was trying to maintain a cover of some sort
here, right? So yeah, I wouldn't walk.
Necessarily together, I pick up Christopher and put him under my
arm. I try and do we walk into this
side, We just walk into the nextroom.
I take a hit of a cigarette frommy little ashtray friend, put it

(01:58:59):
out on him. And.
Walk out of the. Bed good.
Luck, buddy. Yeah.
And so you make your way throughthis curtained room and you see
this like by the curtain, there's like very large clipped
bodyguard, this big fly guy guarding the door.
I'm wearing this like tuxedo that's like really tight on his

(01:59:21):
like exoskeleton fly body. And you walk through into the
high roll room and the tent in the high roll room is adorned
with like a bunch of drapery. It's very fancy looking in here
you see this fancy bar, there's like a thri cream behind it,
like mixing a couple drinks at the same time with it's multiple
arms. And you see a lot of the fly
workers walking around. You see some slot machines that

(01:59:46):
instead of minute slot machines,they say they're the day slot
machines. And you see a various humans,
elves, devils. There's like the bearded devils.
You see some barbed devils whichare like same like medium sized
devils but just like spikes and barbs coming out of all parts of
their body. They have these big barbed

(02:00:07):
tails. You look at the tables and you
see sitting at one of them this really large bone white devil
that has this long skinny face with these big sharp teeth.
It's got these like wings that like are like sort of
translucent, loosen in red, almost looks like it's like

(02:00:27):
they're like blood splattered. You see this tail kind of like
swinging behind him and it's like a, a looks like just like
vertebrae with a huge like Stinger on the back.
And he's sitting at one of the tables.
And at that table there is only one spot open and you can see
the blind for these tables is 1.They're all one year blinds.

(02:00:49):
Oh, I'm going. Dibs, I'm going.
I think I think you should sit this one out.
I can take. This one, I'm already going.
I'm already sitting. OK, goes in I'm.
Sitting down, I got this. I got to make up for myself.

(02:01:12):
I lost my hand. I'm going to.
I'm going to prove myself here. Then I'm going to toss a bardic
his direction. Oh, I really appreciate that
actually. And if it's within 10 minutes,
you still have your involving bond.
If not, I will do it again. Fuck that Bardic sucked but it's
not your fault. I just rolled terribly.
What was it? I rolled A1, gave him a bad one.

(02:01:34):
Oh, and so you sit down at the table and you see the bone
guard, this, this bone devil. So he sits down and he's going
to roll. I go ahead and roll an Insight
or a Deception. I roll the deception.
I'm going to pretend like I havea not good hand, but I'm going
to pretend like I have a bad hand, but I'm trying to look
like I have a good hand. I got a.

(02:01:56):
It's a double fake. Yes, a double fake on that and
that's 2425 + 732. And so you're trying to look,
you're trying to fake that you have a good hand.
I have a bad. I'm trying to fake that I have a
bad hand, but I'm trying to looklike I have a good hand.
One eye is twitching really hard.
Excellent. So he raises.

(02:02:19):
He raises a year. OK, good.
I raise a year too. I've got all 23 year, all 23
months. That I have no. 23.
Months. 20. Three months.
These are all these. Years.
They're not. Interested in tears?
I won't die. These are the three.
Years here's the cushioners. He's using cushioners, so your.

(02:02:40):
Reason. Are.
You. Raising, I'm putting my 23 that
I have total left from. That's what I'm putting it.
That's whatever. You had 12 the year I took 12.
From that, then he raised the year I.
I can't even match one month of his.
Year he fucking I'll match the year I'll put a real month on
the line. Yeah.
OK. So you have put in the two
years, so you've matched. Yeah.

(02:03:00):
OK. So you're down one month of
imperial years. Yes, one real imperial month of
fake imperial life. Shut up, this is real.
There's seven years on the tablenow because there was five
players and then he raised the year, you raised the year.
So there's seven years on the table.
Other people fold. It's just you and him.
Good. He is going to do his reverse re

(02:03:24):
roll or his second. Yeah. 2nd and 3rd re rolls
Emtero. You feel really really sick.
Really sick. You take 13 points of piercing
damage. Why do I take damage?

(02:03:45):
And 17 points of poisoning damage.
You don't know why namby with your ridiculous passive
perception. You know why You see the tail
underneath the the the table? The bone devil's tail retract
from from M Tiro's leg and you can see Emtero is looking
really, really sickly. And we're not playing so.

(02:04:09):
What's the deal? With like where we are and what
kind of. Community, you're in this pretty
small area. There's a couple tables in this
High Roller room. There's some slot machines.
You guys are kind of Lord loitering around, not really
hounding around the table itself.
I if we're far enough away to they would not hear me, I would

(02:04:31):
look to you and be like that guy's, that guy's cheating.
He's he messed with, he just messed with an emtero.
Look at him. Do I do I call the lady?
Do I do it? Emtero you can make an insight.
And damage like when they react.You.
Know you feel yeah you feel horrible yes you don't know why
yeah but I was I got. Stabbed like.

(02:04:52):
No, you don't feel it. You don't feel any stuff.
You just take. That's the type of you just.
Feel sick like. But you feel awful?
OK, you can roll an insight or deception check now M tiro with
with disadvantage. OK with disadvantage.
You are poisoned. OK, I rest my hand on like the

(02:05:12):
hill of bone crush. I can't.
Use the emboldening bond on thisbecause I've already done one
right. If you've already used it, yeah.
So that's a 22 on this check. 22on that with a disadvantage.
Yeah, I rolled an AT20 on the first roll.
What did you what? Do you roll and did you just
roll? Deception or inside?
Same check. Cool exception.
My insight's not good enough to risk on it.

(02:05:33):
He raises 20 years. We should have had me do it,
dude. Nam No.
Namby call. No, Namby calls the lady.
Namby. Namby mentally goes.
Namby you step up. Oh, what you call the?
Yeah. She's like he that guy's messing

(02:05:54):
with the person and playing the poker hand.
What's he doing? God damn it, He's a Yeah, I knew
He's a, he's a, he's a goddamn cheater.
I knew it. He's about to die and he just
spent 20 years. OK, this is it.
If he loses, I think it's probably all he has left or
close to it. I walk over to the bone double

(02:06:15):
and just like kind of lean back on the table.
You walk up and you one of the barbed devils steps out and says
hey let the hand finish. All right, that's fine, That's
fine. I just need to talk to my friend
here. Just need to talk to my friend
here. He's not going to let you buy
he's. Not going to let me, OK, no.
He's not going to let you buy. I like the just mental image of

(02:06:39):
you draping backwards on the table so.
I wanted to look him in the eyes.
They still went under the table,right.
And. And we now know that there was
some kind of cheating going involved.
Yeah. And.
Yeah, can. Christopher like walk under the
table and stand like at cross level between.

(02:07:00):
You can't get well. I guess you can, you can roll a
stealth to see if you can get through.
You don't know though. You don't.
You did not see the the poison happen, only Namby didn't, she
told. Hugh OK, that's fair.
Never mind, then, you haven't. Seen that the the lady, the
devil lady? I don't know who would have
heard. Yeah, I wasn't trying to, like,
scream. He's cheating.
He's cheating. Yeah, that's fair.

(02:07:21):
Never mind then. OK, fair.
M Tiro, what did you get? What?
Was my hand. Yeah, I got another full house
this time. 3 fives, 2 fours. He only had a a three of a kind.
There it is. I'll take those material.

(02:07:42):
You get 47 years. Where did you live forever?
So you get back, you know the ones that you bet, but you
gained, you know you. Gained 20 years of.
Life. You look so sprightly.
I turned you, I told you, my friends, we simply will not
lose. He smears.
He is so angry he stands up. That's true, I do feel pretty.

(02:08:05):
I felt shitty, but I feel prettygreat.
All of a. Sudden I higher.
Actually, that's how that works.You are no longer poisoned, but
you stand up and, and kind of look at him.
This bone devil like like rests his head down and you can see
the barbed devil that was like the bodyguard, a couple of the
bearded devils around. They stand up and they start to

(02:08:28):
walk toward the bone devil. And then they they start to walk
toward the bone devil. What do you guys do?
Definitely called the Aduel to come in on that, yeah.
You see? Slice open the tent rips open
and a like a whip this rope likegoes in and entangles the bone

(02:08:49):
devil and just like wraps aroundhim and he'd like tries to
fight, but he can't and and Aduel walks in and the all the
other devils like kind of stand down and she says this one has
business with Mahadi first and they back down and you she says,
come on this way and you guys all leave through the casino.
Out the back of the casino. She lifts is all tied up and she

(02:09:13):
walks out and says, well, we didit.
Great hand, great playing. I guess the deal was you guys
get to probably stick around andstay.
Yeah. What's going to happen to to
them now? What's going on with that?

(02:09:34):
The the one What's like? We're going to like, we'll
handle it. Well, what does that?
What does that mean though? What?
Does that entail? Not part of the deal, I don't
think. You knowing looks at you.
Well, you all can stay in my suite if you'd like.

(02:09:57):
Not going to be there tonight, but I can take you back to the
to the Infernal Rapture. Actually, you guys know the way.
I got to go a different way withthis guy.
She like hold, she like pulls onhim and he's like.
I would like to see where they go.
Oh. My God, she's waiting.
For you to leave. OK, well I would still like to

(02:10:19):
see where they go if I can, if Ican like.
She's going to wait for you to leave.
Leave she you like go around thetent and like feel like you can
like look around and see and youand her eyes are like locked on
you. Like there's like it.
It's like she's got some, maybe some better sight than most

(02:10:40):
people, most types of creatures.All right, freaking true sight
or whatever, OK. And so you make your way back to
the. Wandering Emporium, you can stab
me. Or to the yeah I.
Know I. Just and.
You make your way to the. Inferno Rapture and you see
Mahadi out front. Friends, friends, how did it go?

(02:11:03):
My buddy, I'm ready to sleep. It seemingly went excellently.
I felt awful for a moment but I feel fantastic now and I won.
We all won, really. Wonderful, wonderful.
Carl and Christopher they may not have.
Oh yeah, I definitely lost. I lost out on the deal.
But enjoy the extra lives guys. Can I give?

(02:11:24):
Life back to him since he gave it to us like he's no.
No, no, no, no. Keep.
But I got plenty. I got plenty, plenty, plenty.
Don't feel bad, don't feel bad. Whatever, whatever I got from
Hugh, I'm a I'm giving back. I don't want.
It I'm making sure everybody is where.
They started. I don't care, I don't want
extra. 3030 extra months like ofbonus life if.

(02:11:46):
You've got extra life. I'm giving that amount back.
Call those. We have the same amount of extra
life. Call those the Carl Years.
Christopher just shrugged and he's like lost again.
But I, I pick up Christopher andI put him on the back of of
Rudolph and it's like, you behaved really well in there.

(02:12:09):
You did great. Pops his little stubs around the
antlers and just goes to see what would happen.
If there's no spell casting, butI can do an extra performance of
creation by burning a spell slot, does that count as a spell
or is that still the? No, that doesn't count as a
spell. Great, I make a big ass jar of

(02:12:30):
180 GP with. Large size JF.
Honey, it's for Christopher. Amazing.
Huge jar of honey. I jump off Rudolph and I just
wand dive it. Does it taste good, Kyle?
Does it? Taste good?
How does? That you dive into this honey
and you take a taste of this honey that material created and

(02:12:51):
it tastes like ash. It is awful.
It tastes nothing taste doesn't taste sweet, does it?
It it it's the consistency is not there at all.
It tastes awful. It eats.
The way out and. Then just.
It starts like, like vomiting onto the ground.
And that's yeah, continuously. Somehow it's stuffing coming out

(02:13:15):
for the vomit even though. All just bluff.
He Mahadi beckons you and he says, everyone come in.
I, I have some honey that will probably taste better than what
will be here in hell. And Carl bring your, your, your,
your reindeer as well. He can come as well.

(02:13:37):
And so you all go in and he takes you into the infernal
rapture. And you guys sit down for this
extremely fancy meal. The waiter comes out.
He's a loxedon with like a, you know, like an elephant person.
And he's using his trunk to likehold trays for you.
And they bring out to you, Christopher, they bring out a
flight of honeys. They bring out like regular

(02:13:58):
honey. It's a big jar.
And then they eat you like takesthis jar that's like a little
bit more red. And he says this is a hill wasp
honey native to the the native to our plane here.
And then there's like as purplish honey.
It's like and of course, Fabi honey.
And he hands that. It's like this flight of
different honeys. Waiting for him to finish
describing what they are. He's just like.

(02:14:21):
He hands one down. This is dark honey from
Shadowfell. I don't recommend this.
And you take it and suck it and you just like feel this.
It's sweet, but like you feel this like darkness, like just
come over you. And it doesn't have a lasting
effect. But it feels bad when you eat
the dark. Honey, they're becoming
permanent. He was a washer, bear or

(02:14:46):
whatever. Yes, that's right.
Yeah. But you guys have a an
absolutely delicious meal. They bring out some pan fried
miconid caps with garlic butter and the main dish is some twice
battered axe beak strips with branded plum sauce and then a
dessert of candied phase spider eyes and Raspberry liquor

(02:15:08):
reduction. Just the most exquisite,
delicious meal and it tastes wonderful.
It tastes amazing. Reminds me of Bob's wife's
cooking. Yeah, a little bit, but it's
kind of different. Less.
I mean, this is a little more hellish, but still delicious.

(02:15:28):
You just see Carl shovel shoveling everything into his
face as quickly as. Possible is.
There like, like spaghetti with like, I don't know, M&M's and
gum drops and crap Maple syrup that you mix together.
No. No, no, no.
This is this is clearly not North Pole cuisine.
This is clearly, clearly a devilish concoction.

(02:15:49):
Carl has an adventurous tongue it would seem though, my friend.
Well, it's the first. It's the first square meal I've
had in a while. Interesting what is happening
with you That my friend, if I may ask?
A lot. Kind of a lot, kind of a lot, I
see. You've taken on the role of
Santa Claus. It would seem you were driving

(02:16:11):
the sleigh, but it seemed at theend of the story that we had
heard that you were not going totake on that role.
Yeah, well, it was kind of forced on me after Chrissy the
the War on Christmas came to theNorth Pole and I'm I'm the only

(02:16:31):
one left. What?
What? What, I'm the only one left?
Wait, I've been on the run for for a while there.
No, Chrissy's gone. Oh, the War on Christmas
arrived. The war on Christmas came.
Oh oh. I'm so sorry for the loss of

(02:16:56):
your siblings, Carl. Well, yeah.
OK this might be a weird question, but does there's a lot
of red revolving around Christmas?
But was there some sort of red creature that did this?

(02:17:20):
Maybe smelled like sulfur. Did you?
Did you smell the smell of sulfur at any point?
Kyle, what do you think? Sounds familiar, but you're not
sure the details. Yeah, I don't, I don't know.
It was just all such a blur, like I just, I got it and then I
ran and then I've kept running. Wait, Christopher, do you know

(02:17:49):
any like red creatures or something that smells really
bad? I'm going to sniff my like
little red T-shirt that doesn't cover my whole belly and see
what it smells like. It does not smell like sulfur,
smells like delicious honeys. Christopher just takes the Ted.
Christopher, do you remember howyou got here?

(02:18:12):
Christopher, when did you get the tattoos?
Christopher Christopher was withgreat adventure party, very fun.
I live scary and Christopher wason an astral plane and
Christopher cast more spells andChristopher was inside of a
magical. Bag of honey.
Christopher ate all of the honeyand Christopher.

(02:18:34):
Was in hell. For a while got no tattoos,
joined the gang, got the switchblade and then Christopher
came out of the tack again. Wait, how did you get to hell?
Christopher doesn't know. Wild.
Magic. That's a good point.
Yeah. Checks out for Christopher,

(02:18:55):
Yeah. OK.
Are you all finished with your plates?
Do you? Oh yeah.
Oh. The locks it on, takes some
blades around and and walks away.
Well, Carl, yeah, I think, I think we might be kind of on
like the same journey in a weirdway.
OK. I think we're.

(02:19:16):
Maybe. I think what we're trying to fix
might might fix what's going on at the North Pole.
A lack of honey. Yeah, that, but also the the bad
stuff going the. Mass death, yeah.
Oh right, that too. Yeah, we could get honey there

(02:19:38):
if we need to, but I don't thinkthat's the main concern.
Christopher Lewis is very confused, but he not there does
seem to be like some sort of fate leaning toward towards you
guys, which is which is nice, which is nice to see.

(02:19:58):
How can I help? What can I do?
I mean, you've already helped somuch.
I think we just have to, so we have to get to like this.
And she holds up the map and shepoints to like the the point and
she's like, we have to get there.
But I guess going with this place is the easiest place
because then we're not fighting the devils.

(02:20:19):
That's true. I'm going to try to leave.
I'm I don't know how, but I'm going to try to get out of here.
I look back at Rudolph and like Rudolph is just kind of like
kind of tired as well. And so I'm like, yeah, we're

(02:20:43):
going to get out of here becauselike I said, I don't know
Mahadi's name, don't know anybody's name.
It's it's tough in here. Me, your buddy, your buddy.
Why don't you guys come back to the sleigh?
I might. I got something for you.
OK, I mean, right, because I don't know.

(02:21:03):
Yeah, I think that, yeah. OK, sounds wonderful to me.
You all walk out and head towardSanta's sleigh with with Carl.
All right, so I, I, I hook up Rudolph and like, see, so
sometimes, sometimes things can seem dire and, and sometimes you

(02:21:24):
need, you need a little help in this world.
And you guys, you guys banded together, you guys being
together then. And it's brought a little,
little bit of respite to me. Yeah, I want to give you this.
I may reach into the bag and I pull out this tiny little

(02:21:45):
miniature and it's a, it's a miniature of the Tall Tale
Tavern. And I, I, I just kind of turn it
a little in my hand and all the lights come on on the inside.
And I handed it to whoever's closest to me who who wants it.

(02:22:07):
I'll, I'll take it. I'll put.
Up my big my big catcher at handfor.
It I, I, I don't know what this does, but it's yours now.
So just just hold on to that as best as you can.
I think I'm going to try to get out of here.
This is wonderful, thank you. Did did you ever meet William?

(02:22:31):
I met, I met Willingham once andI met.
You guys know Mr. Eleanor, right?
Yeah, we do. We were in the book club with
him. He's on the naughty list.
Yeah, and I. Want you.
I want you to know that I know what he did to that table.

(02:22:54):
And when you see him, you tell him I know.
OK, OK. Well before before Carl goes, I
think Nabby just goes up to him and like if, if he'll all kind
of allow, she'll kind of like reach out her hand and like grab
his if he like hands us out. Sure I will and.

(02:23:17):
And she just, I know what it's like to be alone a lot and I
know that can be really hard. So if you stick it out long
enough, you'll probably find people that'll help you out.
And we're going to try and we'regoing to try and help you out as
much as we can, OK? Well, thank you.

(02:23:40):
That means a lot. Like, just like a little tear
comes down the street. She lets go and kind of backs
away. You hear a gruff voice from
around the corner. Santa Claus, and it's the dwarf
that you invited over to the sleigh.
Hey, hey you. How you doing there?

(02:24:01):
Sorry, said to come by the sleigh.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Later, yeah, Hold on.
And he reaches back in the bag and he pulls out a little red
hammer, and he hands it off to them, to him.
You see him, he takes the hammerand you see his lip quivering,
and then just he grows and givesyou a big hug.

(02:24:25):
I didn't know. I couldn't feel these feelings
again. Oh, thank you.
Oh, you don't know how much thismeans to me.
I believe again. I believe.
Well, enjoy it, enjoy it. If you guys need anything, I I
ruined the blacksmithing tent over there.
Just just swing by sometime and and we'll talk.

(02:24:49):
Thank you. Eddie just walks away and you
can see him like rattling this thing and like playing with it,
puts it in his belt and he kind of walks with a strut.
And Carl, you look at your hand and it starts to kind of like
have these like golden pages that are kind of like wisping
away and your hand is starting to disappear, kind of grows up

(02:25:10):
your arm and starting to consumeyou.
Any last words before you kind of portal out of this area?
Not well. This is funny.
Take care of each other. Just be well.
Take care of each other. And I wish you luck.

(02:25:30):
Carl goes and Rudolph and startslike, like scraping the ground,
like trying to dig at the ground, like gets like riled up.
Is is looking for you. And Rudolph's not disappearing.
Rudolph is kind of swinging his his antlers around.
He's getting frustrated. I guess calm emotions on
Rudolph. Calm emotions.

(02:25:53):
Easy, easy my friend. Is there a way you can fly home
to him? We keep.
He looks up and looks down. It doesn't seem like he wants to
try. While Calm Emotions is
happening, Namby wants to do an animal handling check on just
like Yeah. It's up there, it's great.

(02:26:15):
Do an animal handling check. Shin, 'cause you're so short.
Yeah, yeah, I want to like try and bond with him while things
are chill, OK? It's not fabulous 14. 14 it
yeah, he senses yeah. You you like try to calm his
emotions down and and his and he's pretty calm at this point,
but you can see he like lowers down a little bit so that you

(02:26:38):
can pat him a little bit more. He likes it.
Christopher would raise his little paw and disco.
Christopher could banish him back to where he comes from.
Oh, Oh well, what's? Going on cast.
Spells in here though, right? Still.
Yeah, we can't cast the spells. Casting spells might have like

(02:27:00):
devil's army or something. We.
Did cast comb emotions? Nobody's.
You're right, I did. Yeah.
Nobody's around to see him. Yeah, I would say that you
members of the book club, you sofar the pages have kind of
worked to help people get help you on your journey and the

(02:27:24):
portaling out has kind of happened in moments where maybe
that is over. I think that at this point you
would wonder is Rudolph supposedto stick around?
Is he supposed to go at this point if he.
Is the sleigh still here too? The sleigh's still there.
Oh. I mean, we can take that to

(02:27:46):
where we need to go, right? Yeah.
I don't have my flying license but I mean.
I it's hell. I mean, what do you need?
I mean. Actually, maybe they're very
litigious here. As you're talking about it, the
sleigh starts to glisten with pages and just starts to
dissolve and and the sleigh goesaway well.

(02:28:11):
So much just still there. All the you see some of the
reindeer start to go away as well and then they start to go
away. The reindeer not really know
what to they're starting to go away and you see Dasher, Comet,
Vixen and Rudolph stay. Oh, well, maybe we could find

(02:28:32):
like, I don't know, like a carriage or something, you know,
something like on the land. Are they?
Do they fly? We each just get on one of them.
I guess they do all fly. Yeah, they don't.
It's not the, it's not the sleigh, is it?
It's them. Christopher And she kind of taps
him. Yeah, he's.
Still are you? Are you staying?
He hasn't disappeared yet. He like looks around.

(02:28:55):
I don't want to go. Oh well, you can stay with us if
you want to. He's like, expecting himself to
like. Like.
That Iron Man out like an end game.
Of course, you're welcome to stay with us, or you can stay
with your body. I mean, if there's no one else
to watch you. I do like my body.

(02:29:18):
As you guys all ponder, like what you know?
What's the next steps? You know the next step is to
stay in the caravan as it moves.Mahadi had had had told you that
he could take you to a place where you were trying to get to.
You haven't told him the detailsyet.
He doesn't seem around. You're pretty tired.
So you all go back into the infernal rapture as a place of

(02:29:39):
rest. And this is where you can get a
long rest inside the Irenius's, inside AOL's room, in her
private room. But you go in and they are
pampering you all. You all feel like, like, like
kings and Queens in here. You know, you're giving getting
specialty drinks you can and material you could probably

(02:30:00):
stand to maybe sit in the hot tub a little bit, but it is
boiling water and you all eventually sit down to get a
long rest before the caravan packs up and leaves the next
day. If anybody has anything they
want to do before sleep, they can.
Otherwise we're going to roll for some dreams.

(02:30:21):
So everybody get out of D6, who's left?
And you, as you rest in here, you realize this is a Demi
plane. You're not on hell anymore.
You're not on the same plane as the outbacks anymore.
And so your dreams are one and two, you get to have, you'll
have a nightmare three and four.You'll have no dream 5 and 6.

(02:30:43):
You'll have a pleasant dream. And so everybody roll.
What their dream? How you dream tonight, Emtero,
what did you roll? No dream, I got a four.
And Diro, you lie down in that blissful no dream.
It's you and you. And you have a you fall asleep

(02:31:04):
and continue sleeping. Christopher, what'd you roll?
Christopher doesn't sleep, so hejust oh.
So he just lies there. Stares at us while we're
sleeping. Open eyes.
In a very not creepy way, but like the dolls in Grandma's
house that do on the shelf. Yeah, but if one of them had a
switchblade. So creepy.

(02:31:26):
Yeah, and coloring. Tattoos.
Namby. I got a one which I think makes
sense for sleeping in the room of a fallen Angel of soul.
Namby, you're going to have a nightmare.
Tell me what would be a nightmare for Namby tonight?
I think given where we are and whose room we're sleeping in,

(02:31:49):
the nightmare would be, I'm in the temple of Seoul with River
and I release the Angel, but he's a fallen Angel.
So yeah, I think that's what it is.
That horrific nightmare hits youand and just you feel the stress

(02:32:15):
as you're trying to sleep. Hugh, what was your?
Role one for a nightmare. Hugh, what would be a nightmare
for you tonight? I think like in this place where
he is still just waiting for that other shoe to drop is feels
like this is a trap of some sort.
He every time he's he's having one of those anxiety dreams

(02:32:36):
where like every time he starts to relax, he jolts back up and
like it's just constantly like anytime he'll like start to slip
into a dream about like people that he has met on these
journeys or people from the bookand he'll like start to relax
thinking he's among friends. And then he'll jolt because
there he knows that something bad is about to happen.
They're about to do something bad to him and it just kind of

(02:32:59):
cycles so that he never actuallyfully falls into a real sleep.
Christopher The door opens quietly and a Doyle walks in and
she sees you and she kind of looks a little bit tired.
She sees you kind of sitting up and just staring, just looking

(02:33:21):
at her at, at you. And she kind of like, just like,
like puts her finger up to her mouth.
Just holds like his whole paw. Slaps it on his face.
Yeah, like A should, but he doesn't have fingers.
Like decisions like she did one finger.
You just put the paw up. Yeah, Hugh, in your dream, you

(02:33:43):
feel a Slytherin something, and you look down at a snake that's
like wrapping around your leg, around your torso, around your
mouth. And you wake up with the rope
tangled all the way around you. And you wake up and see the AOL
standing there, holding on to that rope.

(02:34:03):
Is my mouth covered? Your mouth is covered.
Yep. And she says quietly to you.
Just had an interesting dream. I'm sorry, I don't have to hurt
you, I just have to take this. And she reaches down and grabs
Bone Crusher. You're.

(02:34:23):
Working flailing as much as possible in those bindings.
Aaron, yes thinks that she's being quiet, but she's not being
quiet enough for Namby's passiveperception.
Namby you, you wake up and see this scene of Hugh completely
tied up by the rope. The Aaron yes, having it and
having Hugh in tangled up in therope.
What do you? Do I command her to drop?

(02:34:47):
OK, you command, you try to casta spell, everybody wakes up
Christopher. You start to see your hand kind
of shimmer gold away as you start to disappear.
As this is starting. Do you have any last words as as
Christopher starts to disappear?Yeah, he would say.

(02:35:08):
I don't want to go Mr. And then he just.
As you disappear, I want you to roll on your wild magic table.
Right, you got it. No, that is not 100.

(02:35:30):
OK, there we go and. Roll 81. 8181 What does it do I.
Got 81-O Sorry I got to pull that up.
Whoops. 81 OK, let us find out. You could take one additional
action immediately everybody. 'S awake.

(02:35:57):
Are you going to cast something on this check?
OK, go ahead. And find out what happened.
OK, go ahead and cast Banishment.
It's where she's born. Does she go back to heaven?
Right. And she is gonna.
What is the save that she has tomake?
The save do you see a is 2/16. I commanded her to.

(02:36:21):
Drop the saving. Throw 16.
Yep. OK, yeah, we will do.
We'll we will do this. We'll see if the command what
happens with the command after this.
So it's ADC 16, she has to roll an 8 on these and she gets

(02:36:42):
advantage to this I. Can use the spend the luck on
this one though, so when anothercreature you can see makes the
pack roll Billy check saving throw, you can use the reaction
to spend 2 sorcery points and roll 1D4, applying the number
old as a bonus or a penalty. Do that roll.
So I will definitely do that at least.
Did you do that after she rolls?You can do still after the roll

(02:37:06):
before the effects occur. OK, so after the roll, before
the effects occur, she's got to roll an 8 on this DC-16 check.
It's hit. An 8 and an actual one.
Oh, bending luck is going to fucking guarantee.
That. I got the two on the bend luck.
Amazing. Incredible.

(02:37:30):
She's going to be able to save on the command.
We'll see if this works. So namby you commanded her to
drop, What does she have to do for that?
DC-17 Wisdom. OK, she only has a + 2 to wisdom
saving throws. She still has advantage 14.
Or lower. 14 or lower 2. 13213. Christopher, Christopher you

(02:37:59):
cast banishment on her. She is like disappearing and
holding on to Bone Crusher. Namby says drop it and as as
she's almost completely gone, she the the Bone Crusher falls
lands on the ground, thuds on the ground.
Christopher you continue. You're gold.
You're you're becoming gold. Golden pages and whisping away

(02:38:21):
any last. Words so I I kind of need to do
this one because you had originally said she was the
fallen Angel and Banishment saysthey return to their home plane
that means she goes back to likeCelestia like as a fallen Angel
now in. Oh, she's so fun.

(02:38:43):
Right. So.
As as. Christopher, like your ass.
As as he's banishing, he just goes, and since it's sweeter
than honey. Christopher goes away.
You guys are in in this spa until you wake up.
See her drop Bonecrusher Thud hits the ground and the rope is

(02:39:03):
gone as well. Hugh, you're you sit up.
And that is where we're going toend this chapter of Expedition
Untold. Holy crap.
Thanks to all the players this week, Scott, Brooke, Becka,
Christopher and Dan or not Christopher, Dylan and Dan.
If you want to see the video of this episode will be up on our

(02:39:24):
YouTube follow us at tall Tale Tavern podcast on Instagram,
YouTube and TikTok. If you like us, give us one of
those good five star reviews. Join our discord 2.
Thank you to Tyler Adelsberger for our intro music.
Thank you to Zazar for our artwork.
And with that, we will see you next time at the Tall Tale
Tavern.

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Expedition Untold Ch. 17 - "You Bettor Watch Out!"

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Expedition Untold Ch. 17 - "You Bettor Watch Out!"