Expedition Untold Ch. 20 - "Just a Book Club" - Talltale Tavern

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome back to the Tall Tale Tavern, the monthly one shot
adventure TTRPG podcast. I am your Tavern master and host
Kyle and we are back for the thecampaign finale for Expedition
Untold. Joining me at the bar tonight.
We're leaving together, but still, it's farewell and maybe

(00:27):
we'll come back to Dole. Who can tell?
I guess there is no one to blame.
We're leaving you, leaving you. Will the Tavern never be the
same? It's the final showdown.

(00:51):
The final showdown. Becca.
Welcome, Becca. Thank you.
I forgot what I had sent you at first, so that was a that was a
delight. Wonderful.
It had been a while because we did have to like postpone
because of COVID and because of all the other things.
So I I wondered if you'd remembered I feel.

(01:13):
Like it should have. This is no, this is no shade on
you, Becca, but I feel like it should have been that song that
they do in The Fast and the Furious when Paul Walker dies.
That's always like the like finales like.
Long campaign. I would have been crying.
All of you. Yeah, exactly.
Can't start with that energy though.

(01:33):
Yeah, it's true. It's true.
I can't be crying. That outro.
OK, Fair, fair, fair. Good point.
Good. Then biofuel come back to to
sing that. Yeah.
Also here. Who's ready to put the screws to
the ooze and end its ruse? His jokes may amuse or cause
booze, but you definitely won't snooze.

(01:54):
Prepare your five star reviews. It's the cruise Nambien Hughes
muse who loves to schmooze and and enthuse.
Scott Esmond is here. Welcome, Scott.
Wow, how? Long.
That was good. Job.
That was a doozy. That's great.
And last but not least, Oh my golly, for the last time,

(02:25):
Recovering show choir kid, current school psychologist, and
aspiring magical girl 123, it's Brooke.
Welcome, Brooke. Hi, I'm here.
I just wanted the joke that for the last time, you know, it's
for the last time 'cause it's the last episode, so.

(02:47):
That was my angry I was. Gonna say I thought you gave the
instruction like how you talk toyour children was what I was
guessing. Yeah, exactly.
How I talk to my? Children.
Yeah. So you're very surprised that it
was angry? Great.
Well, let's reopen the book. Turn to Chapter 20, the final

(03:08):
chapter of the story, and continue the story of Expedition
Untold. Roll the intro.
You know, he could have said andconclude the story of expedition
untold instead of continue. And I think that would have been
better and. Conclude the story of Expedition
Untold. Roll the intro.

(03:59):
The previously on the Tall Tale Tavern, would you believe it?
My 2 truly amazing companions, Huguenard, Rockbridge and Namby
Pembleton and I, Emptiero Bastaro actually made it to the
mythical land where hell freezesover.
Sticky up, the Oblx was ready with an army of skeletons.
Fortunately, we had our own backup in the form of Hazar, a
rather terse and quite intimidating Dragonborn from the

(04:21):
Third Bicesquincentennial War ofthe Wishes.
Naturally, we made short work ofthe Skeleton army thanks to some
quick thinking involving AT in an avalanche.
Of course, the ablaks and his minions never settle for
physical damage alone, and the bastard necromancer who raised
the army had the audacity to useHuguenard's sister river
skeleton against us. Needless to say, he was

(04:43):
pulverized by my mighty friend as reward for this decision.
Enough is never enough in a journey as epic as ours though,
and before we could celebrate our victory over the undead
army, we were joined by our old friend Harley who wanted to
celebrate his promotion to pit feed with us.
We were of course prepared to dismiss this devil on our own,
but thankfully did not have to as something changed in our

(05:03):
friend Hazar story, granting hiswish and imbuing him with the
strength to slay gods. Carly did not last long, and
soon we were saying our goodbyesto Hazar.
Now we stand together on the doorstep to the Obblex's
fortress. We have no more backup, no more
bartender to rescue us, Just thethree of us united in our

(05:24):
singular goal to close the book on this meddling ooze from hell
for good. Yeah, take that.
We're going to kill him. Yeah, I totally forgot Harley
came back. Yeah.
He's gone, so it's fine. Hugh, Namby and Emtero, you 3
stand outside the tower of erm, a tower previously owned by the

(05:45):
great sorcerer Morden Canaan, now under the control of the
Oblex. You currently stand on the
bridge, the body of Thioxophilion floating in a
boiling lake of blood beneath you, and the body of Harley the
Pit fiend just disintegrated. And the remains of the bone
garden nearby, including the bones of Hugh's sister river.

(06:06):
What would you like to do? I I think namby goes up to Hugh
and just says you are, are you OK?
Don't really, no. They'll kind of numb a little
bit. Yeah.
But if you guys don't mind, I'd like to take some time to to

(06:34):
bury her and and to say goodbye.Yeah, of course.
Of course. I'll I, I'm going to do the the
the others 1st and then, but I mean you guys, you shouldn't
freeze out here just because of me.
So do you want to just maybe make a campfire just to protect
yourselves and we'll. Help.
We'll help. Yes, we will.

(06:55):
Of course we will. Help.
I'm not. I'm not going to go sit down
while you do this. Pull out a piece of paper and
Tiro searches in his bag to findthe shovel he's had all along
and he said pull out a shovel. Let us honour your sister.
It is like freezing, freezing cold in this layer of hell.

(07:15):
And so as you guys, you know, work together and, and start or
you know, we'll start this that you do realize there is some
some form of heat you will need to have or you're going to be
making like constitution saving throws for exhaustion being out
in this cold. OK, maybe we should make a fire,
but I still want to help. Well, I cast produce flame and.

(07:38):
Start. Burning all the other crap in my
bag because I don't think I'm going to need it after today.
Amazing you have this like little campfire looking thing,
but it's just your pack that's just on fire now and holding
strong against the cold frigidness of the fifth layer of
hell. Yeah, yeah.

(08:01):
I think I just take like, so it's like an ice layer on the
ground, right, Kyle? Yeah, so it is.
Like ice and snow. Ice and snow packed.
You're not sure how deep it is. You do see that there is like
ground around. You know this, the tower of erm,
is, is like on the center of like a earthy pedestal that goes

(08:21):
down into this boiling lake and then so you can see that there
is like layer of earth underneath where you guys are at
right now. OK.
I think I'm just going to like, I, I do want to start with the
others first because I think he was a little bit avoiding the
inevitable to a certain extent. But I'm just going to use like
Bone Crusher and kind of smash through the ground as best as

(08:43):
possible and just kind of get get deep enough that we can bury
each of them, you know, in theirown little, their own little
space. Namby can't really help because
she doesn't have like a shovel or anything, but she wants to be
helpful so she's just like picking up ice shards that like

(09:03):
get too far away even though it doesn't matter and just like
putting them in a pile. Namby, why don't you take the
shovel and I'll just like shoot fire at the snow and kind of
like try to melt away some of the coldness, you know, like the
the ground clear space that way.That sounds great.
Thank you. Excellent, Andrew.
Oh, go. Ahead Andrew, could you, I don't

(09:26):
mean this in a rubic, could you keep that away from a river?
I after I, I met you the like the fire.
I'm sorry. It's just after I met you.
I, I worked with someone for a while so that I could be more
comfortable with fire because I,I wanted to be friends with you.
But she she we're we're not really good around fire.
So I think the others would be totally good with it.

(09:49):
But I'll, I'll do hers if if that's OK if you if you don't
mind. That's totally fine.
Hugo, Martin, whatever you thinkis best.
OK, it's it's just a stupid troll thing and we just, we
can't. It's not stupid.
It's not stupid. Yeah, you guys work together and
start digging into this earth. And it's slow because it's

(10:11):
pretty frozen, but you are able to get in and make some shallow
graves for, for the bones of therest of the bone guard, you
know, starting with the orc and the ogre.
And then you get to the giant. And it looks a little bit
intimidating that you're going to have to build and, you know,
scoop and, and create an entire grave for a giant skeleton.

(10:35):
But you work together solemnly to create these graves.
And and as you finish up with with the rest of the bone guard,
the river's bones are left. I think, I think I'll, I think

(10:55):
I'll do this one if it, if that's OK, guys.
Yeah, absolutely. And then, yeah, I, I use Bone
Crusher to breakthrough and kindof to try to pulverize it as
much as possible to make it likelike more like snow, even though
I know it's going to be that like icy kind of material.
And then when I get deep enough,I arrange her in there and for

(11:19):
like a little while, I'm kind oflike fidgeting with it, like
straightening her, her armor a little bit.
And then kind of like looks downat her and fiddles with Bone
Crusher and just river. I, I, I can't keep going on like

(11:41):
this. I have to let you go.
I miss you all the time. And I don't, I don't think
that's going to stop anytime soon or ever.
But it hurts all the time. And I realized recently that I

(12:02):
think I've been kind of like making myself feel all that
pain, not, not letting myself not feel it because it felt
disloyal to you. But it got bad.
I, I, I, I drowned in it for a while.

(12:24):
And even though I tried to hide it, I really freaked out mom and
dad and actually how I ended up in a book club.
But I, I can't keep living the dream you had for me.
I, I, I have to let myself try to heal.

(12:49):
I have to at least attempt. I write my own story.
I don't know, I just feels really weird leaving you here.
I guess you did always like the cold.

(13:11):
We're so far from home I won't be able to visit you here.
Wait, I actually have something.And then Hugh reaches into his
pocket and he pulls out a small toy, and it's the small tall

(13:32):
tail Tavern model that Karl Kringle gave him, or Karl left.
And he looks down at it and like, just gets like, slammed
with like this crazy mixture of emotions, good, bad and in
between. And before Carl left, Carl asked

(13:53):
us to keep it safe. And you can't think of a safer
place in the whole world, all the world's, than with his
sister. So he places the model down like
right by where River's ear wouldbe, as close as possible.

(14:15):
I, I don't know how much of thisis real and I don't even know
how much of the Tavern is left, but someday we'll get home and
someday people are going to start telling stories again.
I'm, I'm going to make sure of it.

(14:38):
And I don't know. Magic is, does crazy things all
the time. If it can animate a skillet,
maybe it can. Maybe with this you'll be able
to hear the stories and I'll make sure people speak really
loud and really clear just in case.
I don't know. I don't know how any of that

(14:58):
works, but I'm probably just being dumb.
But I I hope it's true. Well, goodbye River.

(15:18):
Thank you for always loving me even when I couldn't love me.
And then Hugh just starts like kind of like 1 scoop at a time,
moving the the snow and the ice and tucking her in.
Kind of like how she tucked him into bed hundreds of times when
he was a kid. But before he covers the model,

(15:42):
he remembers something that Carlshowed them.
Then he kind of reaches down andhe he turns the toy, rotates it
and so it lights up. And that makes Hugh smile,
because Hugh really doesn't likethe dark.
It makes him feel claustrophobic.
And it really made him sad thinking that River was going to

(16:02):
be left in the dark. And now she has like a, a little
night light. I mean, so she He finishes
tucking her in and swipes his hands across his cheeks and then
gets up and joins his friends. I feel like I'm too row seeing

(16:31):
the tears on Hugh's face, probably frozen tears down here
in Stigia. I know, I know, Huguenard, that
this is an incredibly painful thing to have to do.
And it's an incredibly painful journey that we've been on.
But even though these memories will bring us pain, they will

(16:55):
also bring us strength. And there's nobility in honoring
the dead who have fallen here and not forgetting them.
Not trying to lie to ourselves about the reality that we live
in. And that can only serve as a
reminder of why we need to go and destroy this aplex and let

(17:17):
reality can't think of the word when you're like honing a sword,
it sharpens it. Hammering.
I guess, but it doesn't feel right.
There's a word I'm looking for. I'm not going to let reality
continue to forge us into something stronger than we were

(17:40):
before. I'm just going to use that temp
cast motivational speech at the six levels.
Well, temper is probably the word.
I was the. Temper even in the Yeah, in this
moment of so much emotion, M tiro even has trouble finding
the right words. So yeah, I'm going to cast
motivational speech to give us all 20 temp HP.

(18:01):
Wow, I. Say that.
Wow, 20. That's awesome.
I'm. Using my only six level slot on
it because I don't have anythingelse good.
Amazing stuff. Do you guys feel that extra
motivation from Emtero namby with your passive perception?
You just like have helped this like pressure of like someone
like watching this entire time and you look up at the tower at

(18:23):
the very top of this tower. It's for it's very tall tower
and you see the Ablak standing up there in the form of William
and you can see the red eyes kind of glinting a little bit
and you can see him watching it,watching everything steps back
from the top of the tower and takes a step backwards.

(18:44):
Well, I think he's up there. But just so you know, Hugh, that
was that was really brave what you did.
And I think you just got to go show them that it's not OK to do
this stuff. And we just, I don't even know,

(19:05):
I don't have the words for it. But if we if we take care of
this, then I feel like it'll help a lot of other things too.
Yeah, you guys want to hear something weird and I kind of
like, follow Nammy's eyes to look up towards the top of the
tower. I, I know the OBLIX did all of

(19:28):
this to cause as much pain as possible.
And it, it did it, it sucked a lot.
I'm not going to try to pretend it didn't, but it gave me it
gave me a little bit of closure,you know, and, and like not an

(19:49):
ideal way by any stretch, but 990 days ago when that random
guy knocked on our door and handed me Bone Crusher, it was
just like 1 moment she existed and then she didn't and that was
it. We didn't have anything and we
didn't even really know what hadhappened.
And this really sucked. But I think it like kind of just

(20:16):
points out that that thing doesn't, It can see deep inside
of us, but doesn't really. He doesn't get it.
I don't know, probably being dumb, but.
You cannot. You're not being stupid when
this journey has given much to me as well as it's been a long

(20:37):
time since I felt like I had a family and it's given both of
you to me as family now. MTR also takes off his gloves
and takes both of your hands in his hands.
And cast. Circle of power in this moment
as well. These greatest moments.
Yes, spells. Amazing.

(20:58):
He's like catching that hand just in golf set.
Circle of power, You guys feel this energy just surround you as
protective energy? Tell us what that spell does.
Yeah, Circle of power makes it says, it says divine energy
radiates from you, but it's a material.
So it's going to be like smoke that comes down from.
Circles. US.
In that moment, but it is diffusing magical energy within

(21:21):
30 feet of us until the spell ends.
The sphere moves with me centered on me for the duration.
Each friendly creature in the area has advantage on saving
throws against spells and other magical effects.
Additionally, when an affected creature succeeds on a saving
throw made against the spell or magical effect, that allows it
to take only half damage and instead will take no damage.

(21:43):
If it succeeds. Oh wow, OK so it's advantage on
all magical. Saving throws against spells and
magical effects. Wow, nice.
I, I think Namby just looks up at Hugh and says like, I mean, I

(22:03):
think you're right. I never would have done anything
like this in my like real life. I mean, I've, I'm just going to
the office every day and going to the church hoping someone
will notice that I pray to soul every day and ask me to be a
cleric. And I guess I don't think that's

(22:27):
going to happen anymore. So that stupid, that stupid ooz
doesn't even know what he did. He made us way stronger just so
we can beat him, right? Right.
Or just like everybody, including yourselves, he
underestimated you both and he had no idea the sort of power
you were going to bring to destroy him.

(22:48):
Yeah, let's go get him. So with that motivation, I'm
gonna cut my hand on my Fang real fast.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Oh man, I got too enthusiastic and I cut it real bad.
What was your necrotic damage? What was?
It there's six necrotic damage 6.
Necrotic damage. Little too excited there, Hugh.

(23:08):
Got a little too excited but so with M Tiro's comment about how
finding a family, you know Hugh in the last fight pulled the
radiant energy from Namby and heso he pulls for the very first
time from a different type of damage type and now Bone Crusher

(23:30):
is going to do fire damage for his brother.
And then I also want to roll. Bone Crusher just like gets
wreathed in flames and it's justlike that.
It's just a subtle like fire effect that's happening around
it, you know? Careful holding that though,
Huguenard. I mean, it seems as though it
could be dangerous to you. Oh, I didn't think of that.

(23:55):
You can still use your regeneration.
It doesn't. It's.
So funny, my kind of. No friendly fire, no friendly
gave you that ability. But surprise, it kind of sucks
for you, but now it's fine. I'm going to also roll on my and
activate my echo. While we're out here.

(24:17):
Oh well, I don't even have to look at the table.
I know what that number is. You know Kyle, was it last
episode that you made the comment that you think I
manifest roles with? You do.
It's a fact. So a little back story.
When we started this campaign, there were 79 player characters

(24:40):
in the Tall Tale Tavern and I wanted an even 80 so that the
dice rolls would make sense. And then after you showed me the
memory with River, I decided that number 80 was going to be
that picture that I drew of her and showed her the last night
that she was with us. Well, I just rolled 80.

(25:03):
So I described it where she was telling a story and she raised
her hands like all enthusiastically as she did it
because she was a very animated person.
And if this had happened even 1 episode prior, I had talked to
Kyle about it, about how it would devastate you to the point
of potentially like dropping Bone Crusher during a fight.

(25:25):
Oh wow. But yeah, I think, I think he
just kind of smiles and thinks it's very appropriate that with
his found family that his sisterjoins him for one last battle.
Incredible. Just just incredible.
You, yes, you manifest roles of course.

(25:46):
Absolutely. There's no other explanation.
You the the Inky river just stands up, just one inch taller
than you, and you just feel it. Excuse me.
Half an inch. Half an inch.
Half an inch. Taller.
Manifests kind of behind you andyou feel her hand just like rest
that like inky hand just rests on your shoulder and and nod and

(26:08):
river is with you. Incredible.
Anything else you guys would like to do before entering into
the tower? I don't think there's anything I
want to do right now. How long are you going to
unfolding bond us or are you going to wait to do that?
Well, it only I'd only last 10 minutes and I don't there's a

(26:28):
whole really tall tower that we have to go up so.
Oh. Yeah, fair enough.
Can you only cast it like one time, like if it expires?
No, I can do like a dime. I.
Can do it I think 4 Times Now. Per long and does it limit like
other abilities? Does that make sense?
Like or something? Or is.
It So should I just stay alone? I almost wonder if he says just

(26:48):
in case, and then yeah, let's just do it one of them.
Let's do it. I squeezed both of your hands
and we're now emboldened, bonded.
Now I remember 100% what it does, but like for the
listeners, you know, we yeah of.Course.
We all D4AD four once on your turn for attack ability or save

(27:11):
if you're within 30 feet of either me or M Tiro.
You need to stay within 30 feet of each other because, like,
there's yeah, 30 fun things. Is this the ability that allows
the like taking damage for? Someone protective bond as well?
Yep. Yeah.
OK. Is it a 30 foot radius for a
circle of power MTRO? Yes.
Cool. So 60 feet really, but like 30

(27:33):
feet from you. And then same thing with you,
right namby it's 30 foot radius.Well, it's not a radius on me at
all. You just have to be within 30
feet of either of us. Gotcha.
But while we're all actually, no, it isn't, it is.
It is within 30 feet of me. So it's only a 15 foot radius on
circle of power because it specifically says within.
OK, so it's all no. I guess, no, I guess technically

(27:54):
that is still 60. You could be 30 either
direction. Yeah, I'm stupid.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you and I could be
far away from each other. Yeah, yeah.
I'm picturing right now though, because of your radiant bond and
that we got like the smoke and the radiant energy just kind of
mixing together, making a cool little.
Go on stage and do like a like arock concert.
We got smoke, we got the. Backlight man, I don't have

(28:14):
anything cool that have light upyou.
Have fire you've got. Burning clothes, What are you
talking about? Just wave that around like a
glow stick. There we.
Go and then I need to make. I need to make an an animated
object and the only idea I had moments before we started
recording would require me to use your sack of books.

(28:38):
Hugh. Oh yeah.
Great, 'cause I would love that.I would love to have the the
books themself come to life to beat the shit out of this.
Who's incredible? Yeah.
The books like piles you tumble out of the out of thing.
It's like an arm and stretches out in this, this.
What's the size of this of this thing medium?

(28:58):
Size medium, we'll say. Medium yeah for the.
Medium sized book man stands up.I'm picturing like the face as
an open book that just. Carry large.
You could carry it could be large I think.
It would, I think. It would amount to the same I.
Described it as Santa sack size in that first episode and.

(29:18):
It's got it's got like 2 big book eyes that like open and
close and then like this weird mouth thing that like opens and
like. This is amazing.
Fuck, man. Incredible.
That's all the things I need to do.
Anything else before you step inside the tower?

(29:39):
I just want to tell you both good luck and we're all counting
on you. I give you both part of
inspiration. Let's go in.
You guys are loaded up, ready togo.
And so the three of you togetheron the fifth layer of hell,
standing in front of the tower of erm, this massive dark tower
with the OBLAC seemingly at the top of it.

(30:01):
You walk through the front door,and as you pass through the
front door of the tower of erm, you enter into something
unexpected. Bright sun hits you and a crowd
walks all around you. There's a lot of families with
young children, some of them holding little plushies like

(30:22):
displacer beasts and dinosaurs. Someone walks past you with a
T-shirt on with a big picture ofan acclute on the front that
reads Tolka the Ice Queen, and through the crowd you hear a
voice. Welcome one and all to the grand
reopening of the Esteteron Zoo, and a minotaur with safari gear
stands in front of a large statue of himself in the middle

(30:44):
of the zoo. Everyone starts paying attention
to him and quiets down. I am of course a stetter on
swift hide and I am very excitedto once again open the zoo to
the public. But before I can set you loose
in the exhibits, I must warn youthere's been an animal on the
loose, one we haven't been able to catch a Bengal tiger.

(31:07):
If you see him, be sure to shout.
And just as he says that, a tiger leaps from a nearby Bush
and a bunch of kids start pointing at him.
He's right there, right there, right there.
Oh, no. Whatever will he do?
Wait just a minute. That's not a Bengal tiger.
Show your true self. And the tiger transforms into
Claiborne Con in half Wear tigerform.

(31:28):
And he holds his hands out. And the crowd applauds.
And he takes a bow. And Esteteron continues.
What an introduction. Everyone, please give a warm
welcome to our newest zookeeper,Claiborne Con.
It seems the exhibits are indeedsafe.
Feel free to enjoy all the classic exhibits that that that

(31:49):
you know and love as well as thenew exhibits, our new exhibits,
the Swamp, the Petting Zoo and the Underdark.
We are excited to share this place with you.
Have a great day at the Esteteron Zoo.
And the crowd cheers and starts to dissipate and Esteteron looks
your direction and sees you guysand walks up to you.

(32:11):
Hello there, I I couldn't help but notice you 3 seem a little
lost. Is this your first time here?
Yes, allow me to introduce myself.
This is our first visit. My name is Imtero Berstero.
These are my companions Huguenard, Rockbridge and Namby
Pembleton. Well, actually let me backtrack.
I believe we have been here before, but it it was different.

(32:35):
Oh, you must have been here before, before our new exhibits.
We just had a reopening. Of course, we've been closed for
a while. Things, you know, the, the zoo
had kind of lost some of its luster, but luckily our new
zookeeper, Claiborne Con, I met him and he has been instrumental
into bringing life into the zoo.He's a masterful catcher, truly

(32:57):
loves the animals here and, and truly helps care for them.
And it's just been a a great thing to revitalize the zoo and
have new and old visitors. Can I do an insight check on
this? Yes.
Absolutely. All of you.
I don't know. All of you.

(33:19):
You got a nine. Well, I got a 27.
You see everything. Emtero got a much less
impressive 14. Emtero and Hugh, you guys are
like listening to him trying to like figure out you know what
he's talking about trying to like trying to think of what to
say next. Namby you're looking around and

(33:40):
and you like look behind you andit's like he's you're looking at
a stutter on. It's like he's not looking at
you. It's like he's looking past you
like the weird eye thing and youlook behind you and there's like
other people behind you and you put your hand out and it's like
an illusion and you just step forward into a stutter on and
it's all an illusion and etcetera on kind of looks at

(34:02):
these people and kind of like walks through you and says, let
me show you. Let me show you our one of our
famous exhibits, Tolka the ice Queen, the accolute.
The show will start in 30 minutes and kind of leads them
away and you look off in the distance and you see Toad and
Khat like walking together as patrons of the zoo.
And then the illusion just kind of fades away and all of a

(34:28):
sudden you're just on a level ofthe tower, this empty circular
stone tower, and the statue. The illusion wipes away from the
statue, and it's a staircase that leads up to the next level
of the tower. That was weird.

(34:49):
I guess we just keep going. Something weird happening and us
progressing forward seems to be the entire story of our lives
so. Very true.
All right. Let's do it.
Interesting. So you rise up to the next level

(35:10):
of the tower and you step out into a small dusty room, the
lights kind of coming through the, the window.
And it's just kind of like specks of dust around.
And there's a, a woman sitting in in just like in, in this
rocking chair where she's got this Western garb on.
She's crocheting. And a small boy runs up to you
with comics in his hand. And this guy looks really funny,

(35:32):
but his name's a Marquis. I think it's a really cool name,
especially because he's a lawman.
The sheriffs are my favorite. And the front door opens as Levi
Rook steps in. Dad.
The kid runs up to his father, who gives him a loving embrace,
and Rook has this big Gold Star pinned to his shirt that reads
Sheriff, what a nice surprise tohave some visitors.

(35:55):
I'm sure you you've been asked to stay for dinner.
And Charlotte speaks up. Absolutely.
And I think the stew's just about ready.
Let's all head to the dining room.
Bonnie, will you set the table? Mom, it's the marquee.
Oh, I'm sorry, little cowboy, the marquee.
Will you please set the table? Yep, and as they walk into the
next room, the illusion fades away and once again you're on a

(36:19):
blank level of the tower with a staircase revealed in the
center. What is this?
What are they showing us though?What could have been?
Like idealized first of each place we've been.
I'm sure that that bastard whosewill try to promise us that this

(36:40):
is the reality it will create ifwe succumb to.
What he what it takes us, the bad thing is what they don't
know is that Kat was going afterthat thing.
He was not going to let that that whale go.
We all know that. That's true.
That would never end in peace. Yeah, that's true.
There was a big beef there, huh.OK, well.

(37:08):
We've seen its tricks before, I say.
We continue. Yeah.
You continue to rise up through the tower and each level is an
illusion of an idyllic differentreality than the 1 you know to
be true. Adrastia and Barb getting
married in a church with her mother present and alive.

(37:28):
Chrissy being thwarted by Santa's kids before she can
cause the divorce between Santa and Mrs. Claus.
On one level. On one level, you walk into a
world of bug people marvelling at their sun as it glows yellow.
Once again, the planet's saved. On the other levels, you see a
variety of differences. Hooks doesn't die.

(37:49):
Zanaya grows old with both of her moms.
Initiatec is actually a good, honorable company.
That's. The most unbelievable?
In in one reality. In one reality, Marshall
Tannenbaum is tied up and surrounded by goblins as they
publicly execute him. And it goes on, et cetera.

(38:10):
We stay in that one a little bitlonger.
Yeah, we. Destroyed that one.
This is a good one. You continue to to climb up the
staircase, experiencing these realities that just you know at
your core to be wrong and not true.
And you climb up a a staircase, finally into a bakery and Hugh,

(38:33):
you see yourself behind the counter with an apron on,
leaning into an oven to get somemuffins.
When the fire in the oven flaresand makes him jump back and he
drops some of the muffins on theground.
He leans down to pick him up. Meanwhile, at the front door,
River Hope holds open the door as she ushers in a group of
teenage girls who are just passing by.
Trust me, he's super cute and really tall and he can bake.

(38:55):
Go in there and talk to him. He's single.
And the girl's like walking, giggling and surprising Hugh,
who starts like nervously handing out muffins.
And then the illusion ends. Say this, He was slowly
embarrassment like backing. Yeah, I was pushing you.
Forward. Yes, go.

(39:17):
You continue to rise up and you climb the stairs into an open
field and you see a family of Haringans.
Namby's family, all in their black attire, are together
surrounding a grave. And Namby, your sister Libby is
crying. We were just playing, she fell

(39:38):
in. I couldn't dig her out.
The scene changes to a funeral with a bright pink casket.
Libby looks upwards to the sky and says she always loved the
sun. I will live my life for her.
The scene changes and Libby is the one at the Temple of Seoul,
defending River, saving her life, going on to do great

(39:59):
things as a cleric of soul. And the illusion ends.
What the hell? What's up with yours?
Yours isn't a happy one. Significantly less as enjoyable
than the previous ones. Apparently the ooze thinks it's
good if I don't exist anymore. Why?

(40:19):
Why would he think that that would be a good thing if.
I were the Oblex. I would think that was a good
thing as well, knowing what Namby is going to bring.
Yeah. I don't, I don't know what that,
I don't know what that was. Yeah, that was messed up, but
don't let it shake you. It it's just trying to get to
us, remember? Yeah, yeah.
Game face. OK, A.
Little unfair that you had to die in yours and I just got

(40:41):
teenage girls, but that's OK. OK, OK, well, I don't know
what's coming next, but I guess let's get ready.
You climb up the stairs into a well furnished library.
Emtero Run runs through, openingthe door to his mother's room
where she is laying in her bed, her final moments before she

(41:02):
passes away. Mt Row, my passionate boy, my
little Ember. There is something I need to
tell you. It is something that I would
seek your forgiveness for. Something I should have told you
many years ago when you were a young boy.

(41:25):
I told you a story about your father, that he was a genie.
I didn't mean to say it like that.
And you are so passionate, so excited, that I felt I could not
squash your dreams. When the truth was that the
night I saw the comet in the sky, the night that I wished for

(41:46):
you to arrive, you did arrive ina blanket outside of my tent in
the market. And so, my little Ember, I do
not know your father, but I do know your mother.
She came to visit only once, butwhen you were about 6 years old.

(42:08):
She did not reveal herself to you, but she saw you.
And I could tell that she was proud.
I could tell only as a mother could that she loved you as
much, if not more than I do. And she told me that I could
never tell you where you came from, that if you went looking
for her, you would be risking your life.

(42:32):
And then she left. I am so sorry that I never told
you, but I cannot pass from thislife to the next without you
knowing the truth. Over the years, I did some
careful research and I found outsome more things about your
mother, who she is, where she is.

(42:54):
It is in a book in your stepfather's library, just
outside this room. It is in one of your favorite
books, so I know you will find it one day.
And the library starts to burn and the illusion changes to the
true reality. The reality where Mtero doesn't

(43:15):
get to hear his mother's last words.
The one where Mtero Lot arrives too late and burns his
stepfather's library in a rage. Juvenard, I need you to swing
that hammer harder than you everhave today, please.

(43:35):
I don't know why, but for some reason I feel like I could swing
at an extra time than I normallydid, like 4 whole Times Now.
The beauty of leveling up as a fighter, it doesn't take a
night. But I do reach down and I kind
of squeeze your hand. Yeah.
He's tense, he's very tense. That's that's not that's messed

(44:00):
up. That's he doesn't even know if
that's true. Yeah, if you don't have a memory
of it, then he doesn't have a memory of it.
There's no way he's. Just making things up to me.
He's. Just making things.
Bad, except for Hugh. I guess he wants Hugh to flirt
with girls but I don't. Really understand why I got a
nice one. Like an embarrassing one.
Kind of a bittersweet one, but. Because he would not dare piss

(44:21):
you off, Yoganart. Piss, piss on your behalf.
My dad doesn't like it when I cuss so I need to stop doing
that before we get home. Guys, OK.
OK. The illusion is gone and the
stairs ascend upwards and you can feel the coldness of the

(44:44):
outside. From where you are, you realize
that up the staircase is the final level is the top of the
tower. Is there anything else that you
do before you go up to the top? Does is 10 minutes?
Has 10 minutes passed that whereyou need to recast the
embossing? Those things, you don't have to
recast those things. I am because this is not OK.

(45:12):
I'm. I'm going to I'm going to cast a
holy weapon on Bone Crusher, which means it sheds light for
30 feet, but every attack gets an extra 2D8 radiant damage.

(45:33):
And I don't know if this is too cheesy Kyle, but if it's me
passing the spell, can it also maybe not like you could the one
and or two could be a three. Oh yeah, heck yeah.
All your radiant damage, yeah. So if it's a one or two, it
becomes a three on those DS. Oh.
Hell yeah, Heck yeah, she casts a spell.

(45:54):
Does. Fire and radiant damage my
family this is. Why I'm doing this?
This is this is, this is what this thing deserves.
Oh, my son of a bitch. OK, so.
She walks over, casts a spell onBone Crusher and it just lights
up and the the glyphs on it especially the family glyph like
shines a light. You could see it like reflect

(46:15):
like a shadow on the wall. I'm in there and it's just
glowing and fiery and ready to go.
Yeah, and. Oh.
If I dismiss it, then creatures would have to make a Con save.
On a failed save, they take 4D8 radiant damage and are blinded
for a minute. On a successful save, they take
half damage and aren't blinded. Incredible.

(46:37):
Does that happen if you break concentration on the spell?
I don't. If I use a bonus action to
dismiss, I. Don't think it would go away if
she. She wouldn't do it like that,
yeah. Naturally, it's only.
Yeah, I think it has to. Be gotcha.
OK, yes, cool. Yeah.
Which I think I have to do that,not you, because I'm
concentrating on the spell. So if you want that to happen,

(46:59):
yell out and maybe I'll yell outif I want that to happen or
something. But yeah, you're, you're, you
got some raining. You got some fire on there.
So now Bone Crusher does 3D 8 + 1 D 6 + 8 damage four times
potentially each round. 8 Let's say it's going to be more than

(47:21):
four times because we all know you're going to crit on at
least. 1 So yes, that's a fifth level spell, and I've got two of
them, though. Here we go.
I love, I imagine like the fire and the radiant light are just
kind of like swirling together in like a gold and like fiery

(47:42):
reddish orange all around Bone Crusher.
Swirling around it. You guys ready to go to the top?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
That thing's going down. As you ascend to the top of the
tower, you walk into the frigid air of Stygia.
The top of the tower's flat and all the way around the rim is an

(48:03):
undulating red mass of slime, and in the slime you see the
faces of those whose memories ithas stolen.
A thin line of slime trails out from the mass, and the OBLAC
stands up, taking on the form ofWilliam the bartender.
I thought it was so strange whenWilliam sacrificed himself to

(48:26):
save you. 3 And yet here you are, members of a book club,
standing here on top of a tower in the fifth layer of hell.
You've made it this far only to die.
Well, of course you wouldn't understand someone sacrificing

(48:47):
themselves for somebody else because you're just selfish and
you do everything you do just tomake yourself more powerful and
stronger, ignoring what everyoneelse wants or what effects it
has on anybody. So I'm not surprised you don't
know that. It's a coward like you could
never understand doing somethingnoble to make the world a better
place, rather than a better place only for yourself.

(49:10):
And you think William was so noble as a story keeper?
That's what you believe? Well, he was wrong.
Outside of hell. Right now, reality is in chaos.
Killing me and sending me here was a gift because it allowed me
to take my hands off the reins and see what truly happens.

(49:31):
Without a story keeper out there, people are choosing and
re choosing their own paths constantly.
There's no substance, there's noconsistency, there's no
narrative. There are plenty of memories for
which I will be glad to consume,but I am already more powerful
than I ever dreamed I could be. And so I've learned that William

(49:52):
was wrong. The world doesn't need story
keepers. What the world needs is an
author. And you watch as red spectral
pages start to swirl around the tower, opening red portals
around the rim where characters from the story step out, all
with red eyes. Tawad, Zanaya.

(50:13):
Cassie. No Sense.
Don Donaldson. Belk, Hobson and Gobson.
Dirk, Diandra. Nutmeg.
Corey, Frank, ETC all look at you with red eyes, just as Toad
had in Zoonopia where he wasn't truly himself, rather he was
being manipulated by the Oblex directly.

(50:34):
The world needs an author who can make people choose the right
path, the one that will make them the happiest, the one that
will keep them where they are and not change the stories
without careful and proper guidance.
You've seen through the layers of this tower just how many
possibilities there are. Hugh, will you not join me to
save your sister? To save her life?

(50:55):
And River steps out of a red portal with red eyes.
And Tiro, I can't save your mother.
I wish there was a way, but somethings in the story just can't
be changed. But I can make it so you could
be raised by your biological parents as they wished they
could have. Then you would never need to
live with the pain of your falsemother dying namby.

(51:16):
Your life is a life of wasted potential.
Maybe that's the point. Your lack of impact has brought
you here. So you can make a decision
possibly to not only save yourself, but finally have a
moment of importance and save everyone else.
You can save your friends, otherwise you are going to watch

(51:37):
as they suffer over and over again for eternity.
So what will it be? Die here have no impact on
anything or help me create a a world of stories where the good
guys win, the bad guys lose. I don't know.
I don't care that much about these things, but you do.

(51:59):
What will it be? You can't make someone choose
something because then they're not choosing.
And then I just draw a Bone Crusher and and step forward.
If this is more powerful than you can possibly imagine, then I
have no doubt that the world youwould create would be the most

(52:21):
pathetic, least imaginative world to ever exist.
We are going to wipe you out. Yeah, your stories.
Suck Namby just steps forward a little bit and just says I don't
think you understand anything and she just leaves it at that.

(52:42):
Like there's no need to explain he doesn't get it.
You stand in defiance of not only at the Oblex at this point,
but all of these characters who are looking fiercely at you with
their weapons drawn. And you take those that that
stand. Say those words of defiance and
you start to see little glittersof gold, kind of like specks,

(53:05):
surrounding you and shimmering you in the air.
There's one, and then another, and then another, and then
golden pages start to squirrel around you and a portal opens
and the true toad steps out, followed by a £500 tobaccy.
And Toad takes it, takes out hisrapier and poisons it with his
skin. Cock.

(53:27):
Unfortunately, I. Think I'm going to need a bigger
jar. More portals start to open as
the true versions of each character steps out.
The Dis elderly conduct crew steps out and Malter squints his
eyes looking at his evil counterpart.
Ah man, not these guys again. And Dex says, Malter, I think

(53:49):
you might actually be right thistime, but last time it was
definitely a mirror. And Zaz steps out Aura.
All right, I I seem to have stubbed my hoof as I stepped out
of the portal. Do you happen to have one of
your potions? Maybe a nail revitalization
potion, perhaps? Valley Jack steps out, wielding

(54:11):
a railroad track next to WhiskeyWaltz, who says, Oh, I've always
wanted to say this. And he points to his evil
counterpart. This town ain't big enough for
the two of us. Viper Ladd, Paolo and Ben
Biofuel step out, followed by their AI counterparts and real
Paolo says the AI Paolo, you know, if there are two of each

(54:32):
of us fighting 2 of each of them, that's like double the
glory, no. And Connie, Connie with his
clone says he's like doing this like mirror thing with his
clone. Yes, yes, I think so.
Cooper steps out next to Don Donaldson.
Well, this certainly isn't a company sanctioned event.
He's like flipping through this manual.

(54:53):
Nor are there any guidelines in the company handbook.
I suppose we should have everybody sign consent forms for
this dangerous activity. And Don says I'm on it.
And he starts flipping letters to all the people on the tower.
Brad and Lee step out in their conjoined twin form and they
square up against their evil forms, which are the separated
versions. More and more characters come
out, each with matching their evil counterpart ready to fight.

(55:16):
Then Hugh, you feel a squeeze onyour arm and River steps up
behind you. Hey Oblix, I've got a story to
tell you. It's about 1/2 troll boy.
Who knew his sister would pummelhim in the ground if he ever
took a deal with a big slimy piece of shit like you.
Huey, the afterlife is sick. I am in a wrestling league with

(55:38):
mom's ancestors. We have a we have a great great
grandpa who is his name is literally it's incredible Namby
the pages swirl next to you and a Harangan girl that looks a lot
like you but with black fur materializes your sister Libby
in full plate armor with a symbol of the moon on her

(56:00):
breastplate. She yells at the Al blacks
Wasted potential. You say that to the best damn
clerical assistant in Daggerfordand the best damn cleric of
soul. News flash, idiot.
You mess with one Pambleton, youmess with all the Pambletons.
And you look behind you and yourentire family is there.
Your dark haired Adam's family. Yes, family.

(56:22):
They're all dressed in black. They have these big crocheted
pins of of the sun on and your dad leans down.
Remember Namby, the moon only shines because of the sun.
Your light reflects wherever yougo, and we'll be with you
always, and I'm Tiro. The pages swirl up next to you

(56:42):
and your mom is standing next toyou, your human mother, and she
has tears in her eyes and her inher hands, clutching to her
chest. She holds a scrapbook filled
with all the pages you've been burning every night.
I'm Tiro, my beautiful, bright, passionate boy.
Please forgive me so many times.I wanted to tell you so many

(57:05):
times I felt the words trying tocome out only to get stuck in
my. Throat, I understand words do
not come as easily to everyone as they come to me, Mother.
I will never stop reading your stories and she like clutches
this the the scrapbook of all these pages and just gives you

(57:28):
the biggest hug. I hug her back.
I think I'm Tierra forgives her.Oblix William Oblix Williams
steps forward. And so you've brought your
stories with you to die as well.And Libby hops on top of River's

(57:48):
shoulders. You're goddamn right we're here
to die stories and River chargesforward and the battle begins.
Characters start fighting characters.
You 3 find yourselves in the mixtrying to get to the Oblix who
is still this like massive undulating BLOB surrounding the
edge of the tower. And then suddenly the tower of

(58:09):
erm, which can travel through the different planes of
existence, activates, and everything around the tower
starts spinning and moving rapidly.
You're flying through the paint plains, through space and time.
Red and golden pages swirl rapidly around you.
You rise above the floor of the tower, which disappears beneath
you. And I need one of you to roll AD
12. Oh, I have one right here.

(58:32):
Yeah, go. For it you volunteer for.
It OK, Volunteers tribute. It's a 10. 10 I don't know if
that's good or not. I don't know what that means.
You rise above as the world around you spins and changes,
and then woomp. You find yourselves in complete
darkness, and then a small pair of red eyes glows softly.

(58:57):
Do you know the average temperature of a red dwarf star
and a million more red lights? Light, you already learned a
lot. We can teach you.
Zanaya standing next to you cracks her knuckles What do you
say you 3 take on the robots we'll take on our counterparts
and L10 says 2000 to 3500° Kelvin or would you like it in

(59:18):
Fahrenheit or Celsius? And Jim says L10, I don't think
it matters, I think they're going to attack either way.
And Bob says, Yep, time to take out the rubbish everyone role
initiative. I just.
Want you to keep playing all thecharacter.
You might get your wish. What are we doing initiative?

(59:40):
OK everyone roll initiative. You can see around you the Lenny
Lerner on Live Box. This is the Oblix around you
that you'll be fighting as the other characters start fighting
each other. Oh boy, let's see what the
initiative's. Going, I was hoping as soon as
like you said the 12:00, I was like, well, there was 12 months
in the first season. Is that what it is?

(01:00:04):
OK Namby. I got an 18.
Nice, nice. Hugh. 9.
MTRO. 10. Navy.
Who are out first? Yeah, this never happens.

(01:00:25):
I never actually roll well on myinitiative.
OK, So what? What enemies do I see?
So you can see around you, the Lenny learn a lot.
Bots are about 15 feet from you,like all the way around you
guys. And you can see all these,

(01:00:46):
they're glowing red eyes, these little toy robots.
The other members, the other characters in the story are
starting to battle each other and fight back and forth.
You know, Bob is like blooping into himself, like, you know,
like swinging a big fist that looks like a hammer and like
bopping the other one on the head.
Excuse me? They're busy spanking.
Paddle. Oh, you're right, there was a

(01:01:09):
spanking. The evil one has the hammer, but
the true one has the spanking paddle.
So yeah, you can essentially seethe Oblix around you, 15 feet
away from you. What would you like?
To do, I think I'm just gonna guiding Bolt.
They're far away from me, so I'mjust gonna try try and hit them

(01:01:32):
with that. OK, nice.
OK, 18 to hit. 18 hits. OK, sweet.
So I was oh, sorry, I should have said I was casting that at
a second level. SO5D6 Oh my God, I just threw a
die. OK.

(01:01:54):
Just freaking out, right? Now how good?
So 16 for the first 3 + 3 is 19.No additional night.
Oh no, wait, those both become threes.
Oh yeah. So what did I say 16 + 6?

(01:02:16):
20. 4/22. Yeah, 22. 22 damage total and
the next attack gets advantage. Incredible.
You fire guiding bolts and like the entire Oblix like lights up
in this in this guiding bolt radiant like energy and it like
illuminates the whole the entirearea.

(01:02:36):
And you can see that you're on the spaceship in one of these
back rooms where there's all these other inventions that or,
you know, tools on the ship thatare unused.
Anything else for your turn? No, I don't think so.
I think I'm just going to stay where I'm at.
OK. M Tiro, you were up.
OK, I don't want to attack it because I want the person to

(01:02:58):
attack some with advantage to beHugh, so I don't want to make
any attack rolls, so I'm going to.
I've never actually used ViciousMockery in this entire campaign.
I'm going to use Vicious Mockery.
I think you'd be so good at it. I say you third race Chinese
knock off Teddy learn a lot, Lenny, learn a lot, whatever you

(01:03:18):
are and. That's the Chinese knock off is
the teddy, yes. Excellent Teddy talk saving.
Throw a Wisdom a Wisdom saving throw of 17.
OK, Should I do all of the saving throws in the Tavern
roll? I think it should, yeah.
Why not? You said 17.

(01:03:39):
Yes, OK, it gets a + 8 to its wisdom saving well.
Good thing you're going to roll an 8 right now, so.
It's not going to be a. Problem Kyle, you kind of like
the anti Tyrese Halliburton whenit comes to clutch rolls.
So I feel like no, I am. Poorly.
I really am sorry. You're saving through a 17.
Yes, it has a + 8, so yeah, it needs to hit 8 or stay 9.

(01:04:03):
Yeah, but it's not going to because you're going to roll
lower than. That yeah, you're going to pull
Kyle a natural. 1. It takes no damage.
Yeah, it's. Extra mocked.
That's beautiful. That's perfect manifest.
That's for Rebecca to manifest Kyle.
It's a Nat one on a Nat one. I wasn't for a vicious mockery

(01:04:27):
wasn't going to burn a legendaryresistance, but a Nat one just
calls for me to burn a legendary.
Resistance. So that is going to burn a
legendary resistance like this and so it is down one of those.
Perfectly great use of my can't trip in my mind.
So I take that and then with my bonus action, I'm just going to

(01:04:50):
budget. Actually, I've already given you
both Bartok inspirations. I don't want to get closer to
it. I don't want the book to be the
first thing to attack it becauseI really want Becca to crit.
Well, she'll do it anyway. Fuck it, I'm going to send the
book man to go fly and pummel one of those Lenny learn a lot
dolls. He's going to make an attack
roll on them. Let's see what is.

(01:05:12):
I never remember what is to hit is on this.
Your Barticks are 10s now, right?
Yes, they are. Sweet, yeah.
That is, wait, I get advantage? Thank God, actually.
Oh, that's much better. That's a 27 to hit.
Yeah, Buckman. With the book man double hit.

(01:05:32):
Great, he's going to he he slamsdown with his first, which is
like super large because it's the carpentry book from the
first book. He goes down there, smash.
Mr. Eleanor was on the naughty list for a reason.
And that will do 8 force damage.On to the on to the Lenny.

(01:05:53):
Learn a lot dolls. Just smashes one of the dolls on
the ground. This cog wheels just like spins
away from it, smashes down. Bookman stands up great.
Anything else for your turn? Fin done.
It is. It does have a legendary action
that it can use on and so it is going to use a one of its

(01:06:18):
attacks and it's going to targetUMT row after that.
Not me, I hit it for a lot. But I hurt his feelings.
That is true. I'm gonna flip her.
I'm gonna. But like, I'm such a big target.
He'd be like, oh, there's so much surface area.
He. Can attack the book.
Too. I'm gonna put D2 and guess what
guys? I don't have it with me.
I got to go find it. Classic.

(01:06:40):
Classic Kyle. Where's my D2O?
Boy, oh boy. I bet he had it out for like a
really long time. Then it was like, OK, I guess I
can put this away. I can put it.
I can. Put this to rest.
This bit is dead. Little did he know the bit is
alive and well will never die. The bit will never be dead.

(01:07:01):
Heads will be namby, tails will be emptiro on which one's going
to. Go for.
How much else do you have him? That is heads, that is namby
that it's going to chat currently is.
At 69 + 20 temp HP cool. Does a 15 hit.
No it does not. Misses the Lenny learn of long

(01:07:23):
bots like swarm forward and liketry to attack you and just like
you're just able to like push them off of your armor and like
push them away and Hugh you are up.
Cool, I'm going to take 4 attacks against it with my
swirling radiant fire bone hammer.

(01:07:45):
Yeah, it's like it was just likeguitar.
Just like. Yeah, and Scott used to make fun
of me for having 40 fours for or4 D 20s.
Excuse me for Hugh, but now it'sperfect it.
Was all the long con? It was the long con, OK Oh, and

(01:08:06):
that 20 Oh, so I'm so. Shocked.
Oh my God. So 1 is a dirty, 21 is a Nat, 21
is a 19, and 1 is a 23. All will hit yes.

(01:08:27):
And it was the baking dice whichhad been betraying me so far.
So they are back into my not today, not today, no further.
Oh, I don't know how to do this.OK so there's 3D8 for a normal
right? Because 2D8 for the holy weapon
and then at my normal D8. But it's 2D8 every single

(01:08:49):
attack. Right.
Yeah, yeah. I'm just trying to think of like
how many D eights should I roll right now?
So that would be for the equivalent of five attacks.
So that's going to be 15 D eights.
Well I mean like you're so your warhammer does 1D8 and you get
the extra. 2D8. Roll my 2D8 separate though

(01:09:09):
because they become threes if they're ones or twos.
Right, right. OK, OK, so.
And then you get the extra D6 offire, yeah.
So I'll do 5. I'll.
Do my? Kids double.
Yeah, I'll do 5D eights of bludgeoning first because of the
crit. Yes, and then 5D6 of fire, then

(01:09:31):
10 D 8 of radius. So that's fourteen of the
bludgeoning and then I'll do thethe radiant next, which is going
to be 10 once re rolling. Once the minimum of 30.
No not re rolling. They just become threes.
Oh, they just become threes. OK, 53 radiant damage.

(01:09:57):
So it's 14 + 53 at this point. Was there enough the OK?
There'll be an additional 32 bludgeoning.
Excuse me, sorry, I forgot to add the modifier.
And then this will be my fire which is going to be 5D. 6 This
is just insane. 19 Fire. OK, so I have 14 + 53 + 32 + 19

(01:10:28):
for a total of 118 damage. Good.
I thought I did pretty well withthe 22 damage.
You, you step up and you and your and River step up and just
start wailing on these Lenny Lernaboft bots and just like
smashing them away as you smash them away.
It's like they are made out of like pseudopod, like some of

(01:10:50):
them are made out of slime, you know, And you're just wailing
into it and you feel the pressure of the Oblex now
realizing it's got to make it's got to target someone.
Anything else for your turn after 118 damage?
Yeah, you know, I think I don't have a bonus action or anything
to take, so I will just just hang out.

(01:11:13):
Just call it there. Yeah, I'll call it there.
Excellent. The Oblex on its initiative.
The first rule I made today for the Oblex was a natural 2 on its
initiative and it goes so it goes last, but yeah, and it is
going to target Hugh with all ofits attacks and so.
Yeah, that's fair. First one's a natural one, I

(01:11:40):
guess. This up.
This is old. OK, let's come on.
Come on. This is this This is the red
dice that Becca gave me. Those dice.
So I. Cursed them.
You took all their dice away. I took out a good.
Use OK 13 to hit unreal. Unreal.

(01:12:01):
That was a three guys. You rolled A2A1.
And a three and a 27. Yeah, that does.
That OK. Silvery barbs, fuck it.
I saw you thinking about it. Can't.
Resist after such bad rolls to start.
Yeah, yeah, 20 to hit. Yeah, that hits.

(01:12:25):
Damn, but you can give advantageto somebody.
I will give advantage to Hugh Gennard.
Absolutely, yeah. One of the pseudopods sets you
for 21 points of bludgeoning damage, plus five points of
psychic damage. OK, I will.
Before I forget, I'm going to activate my regeneration go.
Ahead and do that now. It only took 20 episodes, but we

(01:12:46):
remembered right away this. Time Kyle had to remind me, but
this one time in the finale, I will remember you said he was
ready to start trying to heal inso many ways.
His memory was clogged, yeah. I don't even remember how to do
this because I never remember how to do it.
OK, so D4 and that's four. OK, cool.

(01:13:11):
OK, so you regain that four hit points and then you get 5 rounds
of getting to do that again? Yes.
Cool Hugh, you feel the pressureof the letting you learn a lot
learn a lot. Bots like peering into you
trying to do the psychic damage.This is it's big attack that
it's used to make you all reliveyour memories.
You need to make a Wisdom savingthrow and the DC on that is 20.

(01:13:34):
And does this constitute a magical effect?
This is a magical effect. Good.
OK. And so advantage and emboldened.
Yes, you're on Bolden. You got that D4.
Yeah, and you've already heard it.
Andy Bart. Fuck.
Yeah. I think you're going to make it.
I think you're going to clear. I think you're going to be.
You have advantage of D4. And to my wisdom.
So we shall see. You've never rolled lower than

(01:13:56):
like a 17? Though, so she's 19.
So it's going to be good. Yeah, I got a 19 on the well, I
got a 19 of 14, so it'll be a 19on the die and then I get AD 4
from the emboldening bond, right?
Which means you. Get it's 1 so I squeeze right
without needing my bardic. I just needed to make a 20

(01:14:16):
right? Or do I need bardic?
Yep, 20. Yep, you succeed and you feel
like the Obelix is trying to getinto your mind and you just shut
it out completely and you save completely from that.
No, thank you, Sir. And that is the end of its turn.
The tower once again and you feel the the area kind of go

(01:14:39):
away and suddenly everything's spinning around.
You're travelling through the plains, you're lifted up off the
ground. I need Hugh or Becca or Scott.
Make AD 12 roll for me please. I can do it.
Oh, oh, I'm just kidding. Scott just had one in his hand.
Sorry. I.

(01:15:00):
Don't care. 3. Three, the tower activates you.
3 rise up as the world around you spins and changes, red and
gold pages swirling around you until the tower wooms into place
and you find yourself on top of a of a moving horse drawn
carriage rapidly riding through the western landscape and you
see Crumb valley Jack and Cassieno sense riding alongside

(01:15:23):
shooting and walloping on each other.
A whiskey waltz pops his head onone type of side of the carriage
with a bloody nose. All right, you got me there.
Best two out of three and the other whiskey raises his head on
the other side. The only way to do it.
How about rock paper scissors this time?
And then they start Florida blows, blowsing each other and
trying to hit each other. Suddenly the ground shakes and

(01:15:44):
the red and a red purple worm rises up beneath the carriage
and rolls in the dirt, throwing everyone off.
I need you guys to roll a Dexterity saving throw.
A red purple worm. Yes, a red purple worm.
It's like Kool-aid craziness over there.
Magenta worm, magenta, red and purple.

(01:16:05):
I don't. Know Magenta's like yeah red
and. Purple.
What do you get? 12.
And namby. I got a 17 but if I fail I can
use my fancy footwork and roll AD 4.
You are good on that cool MTRO 23 you guys all say if you roll
in the sand and stand up and this red purple worm rises up in

(01:16:29):
the sand and looks down at you 3and starts diving forward to
bite you all. This is the Oblex namby.
You are up first and you can seethat it is going to make an
attack here as it's like diving forward kind of using a lot of
its force in like a. You can see that the kind of
like diameter of its mouth is like 20 feet and so it is your

(01:16:54):
turn. Do you mean sorry?
So like we, it's 20 feet wide. So we're we anticipate that it's
going to slam attack down on us with a 20 foot.
Diameter. Spread.
OK, Yep. OK.
Well, I'm gonna. And you know, and luckily we are
keeping the same initiative here, so.
I don't love going first, honestly, but I'm gonna you're

(01:17:18):
doing. Great Nampi.
I'm doing great. I have more, I have more
awesome. I'm I'm awesome.
I can do it. You're so.
Speedy and fast, you deserve to go. 1st I I do deserve to go
first, I'm gonna command it. Oh.
To grovel. OK, Chris.

(01:17:41):
So that's a that's a wisdom save17.
Kneel before. Nabby, kneel before me, you
little worm. OK, so it's a Wisdom saving
throw. 17 Wisdom. OK, 17 on the wisdom.
Saving roll? Tavern roll.
That means got one. Actually, that's the very

(01:18:03):
gentleman's 2. OK, here we go. 312 six seats
all. Right, so I didn't do it.
Well, might as well cast my spiritual weapon.
No, I can't. That's a spell.
That's two spells. That's my turn.
Do you want to move out of the way of the thing that's going to

(01:18:25):
slam? Down.
Yeah, you want, you want to moveout.
Of the way of the thing can. You see, you want you want to
scoot 21 feet away. I.
Do. That I want to try and stay
within 30. Try and stay within 30 feet, but
you move. You're just like, yeah.
So yeah, as long as I can stay within 30 feet of MTRO.

(01:18:46):
OK. Should go like 25 and we'll
catch up. Or mustard.
Excellent. It does have it's legendary
action that it can do you see a smaller red purple worm tiny
like pop up and just swing at atat hue.

(01:19:08):
Baby worm. For a 27 to hit I.
Get so distracted by its cuteness.
I I Yes, that hits. And that is going to be 19
points of bludgeoning damage plus four points of psychic
damage that you take. Hue.

(01:19:29):
That was its legendary action, yeah, but you're up.
I think you mean Emtero. You're up.
I'mtero, you're up. All right, Emtero is going to
use his action to cast DissonantWhispers at the big Worm to make
it make yet another Wisdom saving throw on its turn at.

(01:19:49):
I'm going to cast it at second level because I want to save my
first level slots. So you guys wisdom saves are or
your saves are the same right your.
Spell yeah me and him Taro OK 20so. 20 best friends.
So I has to hit a 9/19. 16 and I.
Probably can't silvery barbs if I cast a spell on my turn,

(01:20:12):
right? I think the reactions actually,
yeah, I think you can. I think reactions are.
Different. It's a reaction, yeah.
It's not an action or a bonus action spell and it's my turn
again so I silvery barbs it's successful saving throw.
Yep, I think that's right 'causethat's like works as a counter
spell. 'Cause it's like you get, it's
not like if you cast a spell, you can't silvery barbs.
Yeah, yeah, re rolling it re rolling.

(01:20:33):
Rebarbs do worse. 8. Yeah, Kyle all.
Of a sudden, he knows how to roll the dice.
What the hell? What is this?
Kyle's cheating this. Is what I signed up for.
I signed. Up for you to roll like shit.
I'm going to go ahead then and give advantage to Namby because

(01:20:57):
he's already got it from my lastsilvery Barb.
Oh right, I forgot about that. And then I'm going to go in,
scooch over by Namby, and use mybonus action to tell my book
thing to just go fucking fly up and slap that worm in the face.
Go slap that. Worm Go.
Slap that worm. So you are moving next to Namby?
Yes, to get outside of the rangeof this mouth that's trying to

(01:21:21):
get us. I don't want to find out what
that mouth do, so I'm trying to.What that mouth do?
That is well. Maybe we should spread out.
Well, we need to be bi. But I think it's already on the
trajectory, right? Yeah, I think he's like he's.
I don't know. I don't.
Know, I believe it. It's it's not like in the air
falling in a certain area, but it does.
Yeah, I think we need to. Diameter.

(01:21:42):
So it's so, yes. So yeah, you make it.
I think it should be. It'll be obvious that it will
have. It does have some control.
Like right now, it's not like flying through the air going to
land in one spot. I think if we say like 15. 20
feet 20 feet each other. I think that that's I think that
that I think that your characters would understand that

(01:22:03):
it's like looking at you right now, like waiting to.
Do like a big power. OK.
Then I'm gonna, OK, yeah, I moveback a bit.
I don't want to be right next toname in that view range.
So it can't hit both of us, but so we're still within 30 feet of
each other. And also it's going to have 10
feet less of movement on its turn, if that's going to matter
at all. Thanks to the book man flying up
to hit it for 17 to hit. Yes, still hit yeah.

(01:22:26):
Man and the book Man does another seven damage, a force
damage. I'm just out here rushing it on
the damage front, and that's a movement of bonus action and an
action and that's and a reaction.
That's all a person can do on their turn.
Literally. You see a book man like.
Literally all of them. The the, the purple worms like

(01:22:48):
kind of like hanging up there. The book man like throws his
books down and like climbs up himself and then like whips a
book out and like smashes into him and like into the side of
the worm and like hanging on from the side.
Excellent. Hugh, you are up.
OK, I'm going to hit it four times with a hammer.
I. Love it.
Yeah, with bandage on the first one.

(01:23:09):
And bandage on the first. The first one is an 18 to hit.
Yeah, that'll hit. And then we have 17 and a 29 and
28. Yep, I'll hit.
OK. So we'll use on one of those.

(01:23:33):
It's going to use a distracting impersonation reaction.
And three roll as a giant worm. It tries to distract you by
making it look like a different shade of color of worm.
I can't think of anything that it would do as a giant worm to
make it look like a different thing.
It looks like the ship from Mothership for a second and.

(01:23:57):
Another magenta thing. I like it so I just re roll.
Is that what it is? Yeah, re roll, it's like a yeah,
it gives you disadvantage on oneof those.
All right, that's a 24. Still hits.
OK, why must we play these games?
Because Kyle. Why do you waste your time,
Kyle? Waste them, waste them on her.

(01:24:18):
51 bludgeoning. And then I got to do the 8V8
rating. 35 radiant and then 14 fire.
That's 100 points of damage. Perfect.
Nice. Wham Wham, just wailing into

(01:24:41):
into this massive worm. Anything else for your turn do.
You think it's done to Action Surge so early?
You guys like, is it anticlimactic?
I mean, it's the same ooze, right?
How many do you get? How?
Many. Action Surges 1 Action Surge.
Action Surge. Let's do it.
Let's fucking go. I might save it.

(01:25:03):
It is the same ooze but I might save it.
OK, one thing I tried to do is roll my D4 for the regeneration.
So I'm going to do that really fast.
And that's a three. Yeah, cool.
And then, yeah, I am done. OK, it will only be able to
target you hue for this. Because I forgot.
To move, well yeah, but it it's still going to be able to target

(01:25:26):
you, it just can't unless you unless you choose to move closer
to 1 of the others then. No no no, I just as like.
As long as it's just me I am fine with it.
I just don't want anyone else tobe because I forgot to move.
And so it is going to crash downon you.
You need to make a Dexterity saving throw.

(01:25:47):
And you still have that bardic. And that embolden bond, you
haven't used it. Oh yeah, I should just use that,
I guess, for now. That's a 19 so far, and then
that becomes a 22 with the emboldening bond.
Yes, that that that's the case. Yep.
And so you succeed the IT still is going to hit, you're going to

(01:26:07):
take half damage. Wait, are you within the?
I think that is. Only the magical.
Effects. I think it's the only magical
effects. Right.
This is yeah, this is like a this.
Is like a slam. Yep.
No, you're right. Yep.
But I love the idea of it like slamming down and Hugh just
ending up between like a gap in the teeth.
It just like does nothing. Just it's a weird.
Lick. From the big worm tug and that's

(01:26:29):
it like. A long pause I don't like.
That tie in the hole for damage.That is a long time here.
Why are we? Why are we sitting here in
Davidson? Oh gosh, well I have 97 hit

(01:26:51):
points so hopefully this isn't 98.
He's not putting up Beck of numbers.
You take 84 points of bludgeoning damage, halved.
So 32. All right, because you saved on
that. That was all of its melee
attacks that it could use at once when it's in this giant

(01:27:13):
purple worm. Form.
It misses you, it it misses you and then is going to use its
memory attack on you again, and so you need to make a Wisdom
saving throw. With advantage, right?
With advantage though. But and you used emboldening
bond so you don't have that. But I do some with bardic.

(01:27:34):
And saving throws give you temp HP with the mode of potential if
you use the bardic. Oh, but don't replace it though.
She's already, there is no way even with her that I am going to
pass this because that is A4 andA5 on the dice.
So even with A10, there's no wayI'm going to pass this.
So yeah, I fail. I'm just going to.
As the worm is like Burrow burrowing in the sand next to
you, you feel the intense pressure from the oblex and you

(01:27:56):
cannot keep it out of its mind. Before, when it used this
ability, it got into your mind and made you relive an
experience. And now what it's doing you, you
think of a time when you're on the side of the river with river
and she's telling you a story about a a puppy and a Princess.

(01:28:16):
Or was it a Princess? Was it a puppy?
You feel the oblex eating one ofyour memories.
That memory is gone. As you try to remember.
It and you realize it has taken that from you, you take 41
points of psychic damage. I am down to 14 hit points.

(01:28:37):
You are 125. You are now memory drained and
each time you make a ability check or attack roll you have to
roll AD four and subtract that number from that roll.
Cool, cool, cool. Kyle found a way to try to make
Beck a miss. For real.

(01:29:00):
Does that mean I can never crit again?
No, crits are still crits even if you'd subtract.
No, because it changes the role,right?
Well, but if you roll a net one and then you add stuff to it,
it's you know, well, I don't know I.
Don't know it's the ability is roll AD four and subtract the
number rolled from from. It's a check, so I don't think

(01:29:22):
that you can anymore. Oh.
Right. I don't think that that would.
I think that makes sense to me. I could see the AC.
Was 20, you wouldn't if it's AC was 20 or you know something
like, you know, whatever, OK. Is there any way to undo that?
Do we know by the way? Like is there?
Like a restoration. I was going to say like does

(01:29:44):
Namby maybe have some sort of spell that can undo that effect?
Namby roll an arcana check. The DC is going to be fairly
low, but not terribly low on this.
It'll be a DC-10. Yeah, I make it.
The heal spell or greater restoration will get rid of

(01:30:04):
this. Don't know if you have those.
Prepared. I do have both.
Prepared. Actually sweet, they just say
level. Because we need back as crits,
all right? We can't.
Lose some crits. I feel so normal.
Please give me my crits back. Greater Restoration is 1/5 level
and heel is my only sixth level,but I'm maybe saving that for

(01:30:26):
one. I mean, I don't know, you're
pretty low. You're 14 out of 125 is pretty
low, but yeah. That purple worm dies into the
sand and disappears, and suddenly the world starts
spinning and changing. You lift off the ground, let
Scott roll AD 12 for us. My turn A1.

(01:30:46):
Oh. Everything's swirling around red
and gold pages, and then you find yourself standing in a
large bird nest in a massive decrepit aviary, and down on the
ground you see Toad and Lizzie fighting their counterparts.
You see the two caught. The bigs are happily fishing in

(01:31:07):
the pond together. And you hear a.
And flying up next to you is a periton.
This is a big bird with a deer head and antlers with these red
glowing eyes. Namby you're up and you are on
the highest Spire in the aviary.You're 80 feet up and the

(01:31:28):
platform is is 15 feet like a cross.
Huh. OK, how far am I from my
friends? Are we still like the amount
that we were separated from before?
No, you guys are all together again.
We're now all together. On top of a little itty bitty

(01:31:50):
tower. I'm this is dumb so I'm going to
do dumb. Do it.
You're real low on health. I am.
I am 11%. It's not ideal after that's

(01:32:10):
after two turns to be on. That says to me, if you could
hit again, he's going to be at 0%.
What I OK, So what I was thinking was warning Bond.
But I don't think having things are even going to like having
You still might go down. No, no, I will go down like
because everything that's been happening is like 4050 plus kind
of 80. Well, this is my only one, but I

(01:32:32):
think I have to heal you becauseit gets rid of the thing and
then you get health. I think I have to.
And I think yeah, it makes sense.
OK, so you I actually don't have.
It's not a touch spell to spell rules.
I can be within 60 feet of you and heal you for 70 hit points.
You get 70 hit points back and and the effects, diseases, all

(01:32:56):
that stuff go away. So it's just like the most.
My crit's back. Blinding like you're, you're not
blinded because that would be bad, but like a like a really
bright light emanates from you from a for a moment and you feel
regenerated and you have 70 health back and you just hear an
ambigo light. From like in the aviary, the

(01:33:19):
aviary is like, you know, decrepit and like broken, but
there's like these glass panels around and the sunlight's
hitting it and like reflecting the light in all certain
different directions. And then all of a sudden, like
all of the sunlight just like moves and and all the
reflections move on to hue and hue.
You gained all that heel point. It points back as you know be
cast the heel on you. Nice.

(01:33:41):
Thank you. It feels like I just took a nap
in a sunbeam. Yeah.
I am going to move just in case there's any area of effect
stuff, but I want to stay within30 feet of M tiro.
But I do want to move. Away I don't.
Think you can even get we're like on a 15 foot platform.
I don't think you can get. From Oh yeah, yeah, you can't
really get. Away.
Is that even worth it then? I don't want to be on the edge

(01:34:01):
of a platform. I'm not doing that.
I'm staying where I am. That's my turn.
OK, in this periton form, it canuse one of its attacks as a
grapple and it is going to try and grapple you, Hugh.
And so this will be a Strength versus Strength athletics check

(01:34:23):
to see, you know, you can use your Dexterity too, but I think
Hugh has. No, thank you.
I think I want her a few stronger or more dexterous.
Yeah. I will roll what the what the
oblex is going to roll and. Then OK, and that's what I need
to get. Yeah, that's what you need to
get only an 8 on the die. That's a 13 that it has to that

(01:34:45):
you have to beat. Well I have a + 9 to athletics
so I'll see how I can do. This pretty good about it.
Have you used your bond thing? That's a Nat 20 for a 29.
Yeah. I'm not going to use my
emboldening bond because I want to use that up, but yeah, does
it? Does it 2029?
On a Nat 20, on a Nat 20, the Paraton swoops down and tries to

(01:35:09):
grapple you with its talent, andyou grab its talent and slam it
down onto the into the middle ofthe bird's nest.
And so it is there in between all of you, right?
Yeah, that was its legendary action that went horribly wrong.
Namby, you are up. In Tiro you are.
In Tiro you are up. Do you have any written down

(01:35:32):
time I'm trying to get? Into more terms.
Guys, he's he, he hasn't. He keeps skipping you earlier,
so now he's trying to make. Up for early in the game, yes.
He said yes, yes, yes. It all balances out at the end
on. The.
End. Let's see, let's try.
Well, now that it's right next to us, let's try making it do a
different kind of saving throw. I'm going to.

(01:35:53):
I'm just going to cast burning hands at it.
So it has to make a Dexterity saving throw of 17.
Let's try a different thing. OK, it has a + 4 modifier to
this, so it has to get a 13. It's 15.

(01:36:17):
Well, he'll still take half damage on this, so I'll live
with that. I'll live with that.
We're doing something here. It should have taken half damage
on the dissonant whispers. I realized I never did that.
I forgot because those aren't it's not can't trip.
That was a real spell I could have done.
Oh well, we're beyond it and we're not going to talk about it
ever again. And I'm going to cut this from
the. Episode.

(01:36:39):
Oh, it's fine. Why won't you actually roll my
dice? D&D Beyond?
Why are you doing this to me? All right, it's being a Dick and
it won't roll. So now I have to roll physical
D6. So now it just went.
There's no way that's right, ButI really want to keep it.
I'm it rolled all sixes in D&D Beyond.
Take it that's where you got it.I guess it just seems to back

(01:37:02):
up. I roll 5D sixes, all sixes for
30 damage, half to 15 fire team.Yahtzee immediately.
Insane. I do want to play Yahtzee
sometimes. That's.
Crazy. That gave me the taste of the
yachts so. Goodness, I got it.

(01:37:22):
I got a craving for the yachts. I got a craving for the.
Yacht, neither of you have used your bardic still, so I don't
still don't need to do that. Yeah, and book man with bonus
action, go hit, book man, go slam, go hit, go smack bird, I
say now. And that's a 27 to hit by book

(01:37:44):
man. And book Man is going to give
this bird some paper cuts for 11force damage. 11 Amazing opens
up one of its books and just slashes, slash slashes, like the
pages are like like going back and forth on this, on this
massive bird beneath you. Excellent.

(01:38:05):
Hugh, you are up. OK, so I'm going to all my
regeneration, that's just a one,but while I'm healing I am going
to Second Wind, which is AB10. Where are you?
There you are. Plus 11 I believe, Yes.

(01:38:29):
OK, so that's 20 more HP back. Nice.
Back up into the triple digits guys to.
Say you've just healed for like 92 damages turn or something.
Yeah, back up to 105, OK. So mark that off, OK.
And then I'm going to take 4 attacks against it and this time

(01:38:52):
I am going to action Surge. I already know because now I'm
mad it stole something and now Idon't even know what it stole,
but it stole something. There's no, there was no silvery
barbs or anything like that, right?
So these are all flat rolls. Correct.
Yeah, yeah. I wanted to save one this time

(01:39:14):
for one that inevitably starts beating the shit out of you
again. Yeah, 220 fours and two dirty
20s. Yes, those were fit.
It's going to use its distracting thing against you.
So for a for a moment it flashes, turns into like it
turns into river for a second and like she puts her hands up

(01:39:35):
and it like distracts you for just a second.
So re roll one of those. Yeah, that was a Nat 20 that I
re rolled it to. Does the new one stand or does
the other one stand? I think it takes the.
It's the worst one. Let me read the ability, yeah.
It's got to be right like it's got to be like we're rolling
with a disadvantage there's. Zero chances and ability barbs,

(01:39:55):
Yeah, there's no ability that's like you can do more there.
Are somewhere it's like you musttake the new role there are.
Things, but those are usually like things that you self like
you put on yourself, you know, not that you put on something
else. No, this is a silvery barbs, I
think says like that you Yeah, you take.
So is it silvery barbs? It's definitely disadvantage
then. Yeah.
OK. So yeah.

(01:40:16):
OK. It's a silver rebarbs similar
spell. Gotcha. 55 bludgeoning.
I really like your reroll or themove up to a three feature
because that's 2 ones on the top, so that's very convenient.
22 radiant. Oh wait, sorry, I had two more
to go. That's 30 radiant and then I got

(01:40:42):
all fours on the fire. I just did what M Tiro did.
So that's 24 fire. Just a quick editor's note from
Scott and the booth. Becca just said fours, but what
she meant was sixes. Also, there's 10 vials.
Back to the episode. Wow.
Becca, I need you to roll AD 12.AD 12.

(01:41:03):
What is she going to say, Scott?I was just saying that means the
last nine D sixes rolled by us have been sixes.
That's got to be some sort of statistical anomaly, absolutely,
like anything. My D12 is a three.
Real. Another D12.
We already rolled A3. A6.

(01:41:26):
You go down and start swamming on the Oblix and then the tower
activates. Everything spins around red and
gold pages and then it whoops into place and you find yourself
in the middle of a massive workshop.
Christmas elves running around screaming, 2 giant Kringle
Harkins are swinging at each other, the Herman's are sitting
on top of rock em sock em robotsthrowing punches into each

(01:41:47):
other. And in the middle of the
workshop, in the middle of U3, Chrissy the Dragon snarls and
falls down and turns into its red slime form.
And hew with your Bone Crusher weapon supercharged with fire,
supercharged with radiant damage.

(01:42:08):
How do you want to kill the Oblex?
I didn't even action Serge. I think Hugh walks up to the
Oblex and is swinging his hammerand he looks down and he says
you keep calling us just a book club like that's.

(01:42:31):
I don't it gets an insult. Don't you know reading is
fundamental and then just finishes it?
I will find you, I will find a way through the stories, I will
make it back and I will kill youand you Wham smash it into the
center of this Oblac, this gooeymass of red and that energy just

(01:42:52):
blasts in and blasts out and redslime just goes everywhere.
And the tower activates and you are back on the top of the tower
of Stygia, surrounded by all of your character friends who cheer
Hooray as they as they are like holding people you know, to
Odd's got his version of to odd like like in a grapple caught

(01:43:16):
the big is just fishing off the side with his biz buddy, not
paying attention at all. But all the characters are
cheering in this massive celebration.
River comes up and gives you alla big hug.
Come here and like scoops you all in Libby, you too.
And you guys are all hugging together.
And this moment of just pure Glee as the Oblex has been

(01:43:39):
defeated. And slowly around you, the
characters start disappearing into this golden mist.
And very soon after you guys getinto this embrace, River and
Libby disappear before you can even kind of respond to any of
this. And the three of you stand on
the top of the tower of Erm, in the fifth layer of Hell and

(01:44:01):
Stygia, the cold wind whipping across to you.
Did we? Did we actually do it?
Is it? Is that a real gong?
I don't. Know about we, but you certainly
did you gonard. I think so.
You start to see in the distance, just like faint

(01:44:22):
shimmers of gold, kind of like in the wind.
The mountainside, the ground beneath you starts to get more
numerous around you. Are we going home?
That mean the stories are going back to how they should be.
Well, just in case, I scoop. Both of you wait tightly against

(01:44:45):
my body. Hold on, what if I what if I
banish us and we can go back andmaybe it'll.
I know for a fact that if I'm banished, I will not go back to
our normal. Love.
OK, I'm not going to do that. OK.
I was just thinking maybe I don't want to.
I don't want to forget all of this stuff that happened.
I mean, I don't know how we count into these stories.

(01:45:13):
I don't know. I thought about that.
OK, well, more. And more gold around you.
Well, just in case I'm I'm sorryI couldn't hold on tight enough
last time and then so I just bear hug you both to me so so
tightly. Holding on.
Holding on to both of you. Definitely, definitely leaning

(01:45:33):
into that. Yes, Emtero pulls a piece of
paper. Emtero finds the shackles that
he had on the whole time shackleall of us together.
Awesome, amazing, you shackle. Yourself together squeeze tight
as the world around you starts to disappear and change.
And as the world shimmers away, suddenly you find yourselves

(01:45:58):
standing in the small town of Daggerford together, clutching
each other with with with cuffs on between.
Between you 2, between you 3. And you stand on a busy downtown
St. staring at a pile of rubble in between the shops of a tailor
and a florist. And you hear the voice of Martha

(01:46:22):
Linfeld beside you. Oh dears, you're safe.
I can't believe we all made it out of there.
And Mr. Eleanor says, who would build a Tavern over a sinkhole
like that? Just terrible worksmanship.
Oh my. I'm just glad everyone's OK.
But my goodness, it seems we're going to have to go another

(01:46:44):
month without a reading assignment.
I dropped my book on the way out.
Huguenard Emtero Nambi, your books must be at the bottom of
that hole, Mr. Eleanor says. Actually, I I still have mine.
And he holds up The Carpenter's Children, a compendium of
stories of carpentry from the perspectives of the carpenter's
children. He swings bonecrusher and bats

(01:47:04):
it. Just hollowing across, we all
jump at the book and throw it into the sink hole.
Burning. It I'm so sorry.
I'm not really that good with this, sorry.
Yes, I'm sorry, Mr. Mr. Eleanor.I have to agree that the first
book was absolutely dreadful. And after what happened to the

(01:47:24):
Tavern with the carpentry accident, I don't think I, I
don't think I could do it. Yes my friend, the wombs are far
too fresh right now to be reading.
Something like that. It's too real.
It's too cheap. Yeah.
I can't even hear the word carpentry without flinching.
Tears in my eyes. And he, he, he he like, moves

(01:47:48):
his glasses on his on his eyes alittle bit.
All right, OK. And he goes and goes to walk
over to where the book was whereyou like flung it away.
And and Martha just looks back and says, oh boy, Oh my.
It's just a horrible accident. Whatever could have caused

(01:48:08):
something like that? Well.
You 3 feel something inside of you, a spark of inspiration,
something encouraging you to tell a story.
Oh. Yeah.
I mean, is there somewhere you can sit down because we have a

(01:48:29):
story for you? Where's the nearest Tavern in
town now that this one is gone? Because this is quite the tale
that we have for you. It was no mere accident.
No mere. Accident.
Yeah, it was a lot. What do you mean?
How does it? How does it start?
What is it about? Well, do you like stories about
all different kinds of love, including friendship and a

(01:48:52):
villain that is like extra villainy but like, it's mostly
about friendship? Stories about learning to to
love yourself and the power within yourself and that you can
do anything if you work togetherwith your friends and believe
truly. Huzzah.
He says I do. And there's like a guy that's
like standing nearby. Like I like stories like that.

(01:49:14):
Yeah, me too. And there's like there's like a
pretty big crowd that's just standing around because this big
major like sinkhole event just happened at the Tavern.
And like, so people like wondering what to do.
And so they all look to you and and encouraging you to hear
more. And you 3 start to tell a story.
Story about 3 friends in a book club who fell into the stories

(01:49:37):
themselves. A story about friendship, truth,
and an evil oblx that wanted to control everything.
And a crowd starts to gather around you in the street in
front of the Tavern as you tell this story.
And as it gets late in the day, people want more.
And so you continue the story every day to a larger and larger
crowd gathering every morning. M Tiro you use your dancing item

(01:49:57):
ability to animate the flying wagon in Maleficent 7 namby you
cast your spiritual weapon and flourish that glorious sun
blade, stabbing it into the air while you narrate.
And Hugh, you bring out Bone Crust, showing off this
legendary weapon as the crowd just like Oohs and Oz and
Emtero. The crowds, oohs.
I attack them. Not that kind of and Tiro you

(01:50:24):
cast seeming on some of the crowd, making them look like
mutants and NAMB you cast turn on dead in that magnificent
fashion where the the light justlike goes out from the town and
then you cast it and just wave of energy like goes through the
crowd. Hugh whenever the Oblak speaks,
you stand behind a wall and yellout with your intimidating troll
voice scaring the crowd. And Tiro you cast Polymorphon

(01:50:45):
Hugh turning him into this massive T Rex and Hugh you roar
into the sky. Vendors start to show up selling
food and merchandise from the story, and the story takes a
full 10 days to tell. And finally, at the end, you 3
stand together as you talk aboutslaying the Oblex together and
the crowd erupts all around you,a standing ovation like none

(01:51:07):
other. You three look at each other and
the sounds of the crowd soften as you feel something inside of
your hearts. A set of oaths.
Oaths that you know and could say in this moment.
Oaths to protect the stories andthose who tell them.
And you all look are looking at each other.
This is a personal decision. Do you take the oaths?

(01:51:30):
You look Sarah M Tyro and namby,I'd like to take it.
My my journey to you all startedwith me destroying stories.
I can't think of a more fitting end than to protect them from
now on. The Ooze wanted nothing but to

(01:51:53):
change these stories, so I can'tthink of anything more noble
than to protect them. I swear, the first ideal of the
night's radiant. And so you look to each other
with these oaths on your heart and say them together, but go
ahead and read them separately. A story is always worth telling,

(01:52:17):
no matter how big or small. The most important story is the
one that was told. People deserve to tell their own
stories. You speak the oaths and the
golden spectral pages return, swirling around you with great
force, and you realize now you have the power to wield the

(01:52:37):
pages yourselves as you gain 3 levels of Paladin Oath of the
Story Keepers. And then the crowd settles down
and all is quiet for a moment. Then the rustling of pages is
heard from around the town. Soon papers start swirling in
and out of the crowd, through the carts in the street and over
the rubble on the ground. The pages rise up in the between

(01:52:58):
You 3, coalescing into a large leather bound novel.
And the air is quiet once again as golden letters engrave
themselves on the cover of the book with the title Expedition
Untold. And the book gracefully falls
into your hands. And thus concludes our campaign,

(01:53:20):
Expedition Untold. We did it.
Congratulations guys, you've defeated the Oblx in spectacular
form. It's 330 HP deleted so fast so.
Fast. So incredibly fast.
Thank you to You 3 for being amazing players.

(01:53:41):
It has been such a pleasure to do this campaign with You. 3
just a a phenomenal time. Thank you all for for for being
players for this, for adding so much into this experience to you
the listeners. If you want to see the video of
this episode, it'll be up on ourYouTube follow us at tall tale
Tavern podcast on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok.

(01:54:03):
If you like us, give us one of those good five star reviews.
Join our discord 2 Thank you to title Tyler Adelsperger for
intro music. Thank you to Zazar for our work.
Thank you to Scott for producingthis this podcast and doing 95%
of the editing. Might as well say you do all the
editing because you do. Thank you for producing this

(01:54:25):
podcast. Catch us next week probably for
the Chaser episode, for this campaign, primarily the health
stuff. But ask all of your questions,
all of your burning questions about the campaign and our
Discord. And with that, we will see you
next time at the Tall Tale Tavern, the Tall Tale Street
Market, whatever our new Story Keepers decide to build.

(01:54:49):
Thank you, Kyle. Thank you, Kyle.
Thank you guys. I love you.
Bye. So amazing.
Hi. Bye.
Guys love you. I love you.

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Expedition Untold Ch. 20 - "Just a Book Club"

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Expedition Untold Ch. 20 - "Just a Book Club"