The Pirates of Ceramica Ch. 1 - "Continental Breakfast" - Talltale Tavern

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to the Tall Tale Tavern,where the stories come to life.
I am your Tavern master and host.
Kyle joining me at the bar tonight.
Paladin in the streets, Barred in the sheets.
Scott Esmond. Welcome, Scott.
That's because I never lay handson them.
Wow, that's also here. Here to strike down the stale

(00:27):
flakes. Towel.
Welcome Towel. Hello.
Hello. Also joining us not just another
Karl Kringle, Twitch streamer and host of the Destiny Digest
Pod podcast, Daniel Jillian Finity.
Hello. Hi.
That's not a, that's not a typo,right?
Would you sent me that, Jillian?Finity, that's my real name.

(00:50):
OK, great. I couldn't tell.
I didn't want to ask. That's my real name.
OK. Awesome.
Welcome, Dan. And last but not least, somehow
invited back to play after thwarting A TPK during a level
21 shot at Gen. Con where she healed over 1000
HP in one turn. Waiting to see what nefarious
revenge Kyle has in store. Tidley.

(01:12):
Welcome Tidley. That is the wish spell for for.
Yes, the wish spell. That's crazy.
Healing over 1000 points of healing.
DM's worst nightmare. It was beautiful it.
Was it was so fun. It was amazing.
Well, we are all here for a pirate campaign that takes place

(01:35):
in a giant bowl of cereal. If you are new to the Tavern,
welcome. We are glad you are here.
All of our adventures are stories told within the Tall
Tale Tavern. So without further ado, let's
head to the Tavern in the heart of the Sword Coast of Faerun, in
the small town of Daggerford, along a busy downtown St.

(01:56):
squeezed between the shops of a tailor and a florist, like an
old dusty book. Forgotten amidst the others on
the shelf rests the Tall Tale Tavern, a place of truth and of
lies. Grab a drink of any size and
listen to the wisdom of the wisein this place where the ink
never dries. The Tavern is busy tonight,
newly renovated with an updated menu including lots of baked

(02:18):
goods. A Fire Jannassi bartender heats
up a hot toddy and passes it to an animated coat rack, who
serves A patron contently reading 1/2 Troll serves a
smaller size table of gnomes with a large loaf of cinnamon
bread. The Tavern is lively, but our
story takes us somewhere else tonight.

(02:40):
Past the door behind the bar, ina long hallway lined with many
doors to other worlds, is another bartender, a Herringan.
She stands in front of a door that hasn't been opened in a
while, covered in fine sugary dust and labeled Ceramica.
I guess we should start checkingout some of these other places.

(03:03):
The others are busy. I'll just peek my head in real
quick. She reaches forward cautiously,
cracks open the door, and the sounds of a lively Tavern and a
jaunty song sneaks through. Hi ho to the sea we row.
Hi ho to the sea we row. The door swings open, revealing

(03:25):
a Tavern much like the Tall TaleTavern, but filled with people
made of breakfast food. A large pancake man with a
tricorn hat swings a mug around singing, while a blue fruity
loop man with a beard plays a hurdy gurdy.
No matter where you come from, no matter where you go, hi ho to

(03:45):
the sea we row, ha ha ha ha. The Haringan stands, mouth agape
when the bartender, a bell shaped cereal woman with a red
marshmallow fluff for hair, turns around and looks at her.
Well would you look at that, another story keeper if I've
ever seen one. Welcome to the shanty shack, can

(04:08):
I get you anything? Irish coffee's my specialty.
She wigs. The harangan replies.
Wow, so many questions, but first is if this is another Tall
Tale Tavern. Where are all the books?
Oh dearie, I'd love to have somebooks around here.

(04:29):
Afraid they'd go unread, though,on account of most of our
patrons not knowing how to read.No stories here are told and
shared in a different way. Perhaps we should share with you
one of our favorites. Hey Robert, how do your lungs
feel today? Could you grace us with a song?
How about the one? How about the legendary crew of
the Lady Lactose? And a miniature wheat man stands

(04:52):
up on a chair. Oh, I've always got room in me
lungs for that one. Have you heard of a crew who
found a map to an unmarked buried chest?
What they found inside was another map that sent them on a
quest. Well, I'm sure you'd like to
hear this story then. Right here and now.
But first I'm going to need somemilk with rum to wash it down.

(05:16):
Hey, have you heard of the crew or the lady lactose?
Heard of the crew or the lady lactose?
Heard of the crew or the lady lactose?
Let me tell you the story. And thus begins Pirates of
Ceramica. Roll the intro.

(06:01):
4000 years ago, the bowl was a hellish world.
Friends of oat and protein battled over the land for
dominance, while the lowly creatures of wheat, sugar and
fruit lived in fear. Every day, these creatures
prayed for an intervention, something to stop the massive
friends from their destruction and dominance.

(06:24):
Then, on the day of Vaximulgence, the great jug
arrived in the sky, pouring milkinto the bowl, vanquishing the
friends, condemning them to the depths.
On the surface of the Milk Islands floated up where the
lowly creatures that remained could live and evolve in peace.
Today, Ceramica is a world of diversity.

(06:45):
Hundreds of islands exist in allshapes and sizes, from the
Waffle Isles to the Pastry Keys,the Java archipelago to the
Begalands in Danusha. Each island has their own
valuable resource to trade across the four milks.
And in any world with lots of seafaring trade, there's only
one thing you can expect. Pirates.

(07:08):
Dan, can you give me an athletics check please?
Why of course I get the first roll.
You're the you better not. Jeez.
You set the tone, Dan. You set the tone.
Is it good? That was a natural one?
That was a natural one. One by plus. 7 + 7 we hit 8 we

(07:35):
hit eight. I have a set +7 to F.
That's. A natural one, folks.
My God. Our story begins on the high
seas of the 1%. The sun is shining bright with
just a few Raisin clouds hanginghigh in the sky over frothy
waves of milk. The sound of cannon fire
reverberates as we approach 2 ships in combat.

(07:58):
Cresting over the waves. A beautiful galleon plated in
silver with a flag depicting a metal spoon.
The words Kushara Magnifica engraved on its side.
It travels next to a classic wooden Brigantine, hoisting the
Jolly Roger, the words Lady Lactose chiseled into her side.

(08:18):
The cannon fire rips into the ships.
The gangplanks of the silver ship go down as the armored
sailors charge across. Armored sailors of all sorts of
pastries, tarts, and strudels clash in combat with a pirate
crew of fruit people, cornflakes, Fruit Loops, and
pancakeans. Ding Ding Ding clang clang on
the silver ship, a cinnamon rolland gleaming plate armor with a

(08:43):
conquistador style helm with a brim on points his rapier at the
ship. By the order of the Papacy of
the Church of the Silver Spoon, any undiscovered treasure in the
pastry keys is property of the church.
Surrender your ship and hand over your stolen valuables or

(09:03):
face the divine wrath of the Knights of the Silver Spoon on
the Lady Lactose. A young, tall, skinny Long John
doughnut with sprinkles for hairraises a magic conch to his
mouth that amplifies his voice. Sorry about your luck, but it
looks like all the treasure hereis already discovered, so your

(09:28):
precious order is nullified. Well, that felt a lot better
than last time. How did I do Captain Spoonleg?
He hands the conch back to a true pirate captain made of corn
flakes, Tri corn hat on his head, dark beard with a big
wooden spoon as a pegleg. You did great lad.

(09:48):
Now you just got to tell him offsomething like this so you can
go ahead and turn around and take that silver spoon of yours
and shove it up your swirl you yogurt drinking lunch lover.
Well then I will have no choice but to Suddenly a man with silky
smooth coffee skin swings into view on a rope with an athletics

(10:13):
check of a natural. 1. Flies in, misses him completely
as he tries to kick Royal Canela, the captain of the ship
flies in the air and flops on the deck of the ship prone.
Dan, will you please describe your character?

(10:33):
My, my character, as you said, has, has, has like a latte
colored coffee skin. Is, is, is a short king.
I believe I first described him as a little bit taller than I'm
describing him now. He's 5-6 now.
I, I hope that's short enough for everybody.
He, his clothes are just like, are just tatters.

(10:57):
He has a a short sword and a scimitar on it in his hands and
he is he is prone and he is thinking back two years and
years ago where he he just couldn't get balance from
Greece. Good from the Greece spell that.
Kind of Greece, yes. What is your character's name?

(11:23):
My character's name is Edmund orEd Espresso.
Wonderful, and he is a Rostari. He is a Rustari.
Yes, he is a Rustari. That creamy coffee skin.
You land prone on the ground. You have a full turn that you
can take at this point. What would you like to do?
Can so for one of my actions canI use it to get up from off my

(11:47):
back? Yes, you can just use your
movement to get up. This is all right, All right,
but you have fallen prone at thefeet of of Royal Canela, this
large cinnamon roll man with a full plate armor on.
OK, then, shall shall I, shall Iget to Minson?
Let's see here I will take my first attack with a short sword.

(12:16):
Now when you say short, how do you define a short sword?
Like no, it is like 2. Short is like.
Five it. Is like 5 like I would I would
say like five 5 1/2 inches. Okay, wow, short sword.
Yeah, that's a respect. Is that short enough?
That's perfectly. Average.

(12:36):
Look, I'm just asking, is it short enough?
I guess if you feel it's short, that's short enough.
All right, fine, that's short enough then.
This is after This is after Dan originally described his
character as a short king at 5 the 10. 510, yeah.
He. Did say 5-10 above, probably
above average height for the world.
Is it above average height? I don't know if it is.

(13:01):
We're in a whole new world though.
Ceramic. Ceramic 510 is very short.
Actually, it's very short, 12 feet tall.
Kyle hasn't, but he's. So I'll take my first attack,
that is, I roll a 20, yeah. And then plus seven, yeah, that

(13:23):
is a 21 to hit. That will hit.
OK, four. That's seven.
I gained advantage on my second attack with my scimitar.
With your Vex ability, your master.
Yeah, that was a, that was a three on both.

(13:43):
I'm just holding 3 now. That second one.
Will miss. There's a three on both the.
I'm sorry, I'm just looking at my sheet here.
All good. You're all good.
I'd like to say while Dan thinksabout this, you know that meme
where it's like a husband and wife in bed and it's like he's

(14:05):
probably thinking of another woman?
I really picture that with Carrie and Kyle.
It's like the day of vaccimilitude.
It's when. Or whatever vaccimulsions that
was a that's a different effect.That's a different event you're
not supposed to know about yet. We don't know about.
That oh. I will.

(14:25):
I think, yeah, I'm going to expend a superiority dice to to
use my precision maneuver. Add AD 8.
Two though, so the plus three gave you with the short sword or
the three on the die gave you a plus A10 to hit I believe

(14:47):
because you have a + 7 with. Your short sword, that gave me a
10 to hit and then I'll use the the 8 and that was a six, OK. 16
to hit. Total 16.
Unfortunately misses this cinnamon roll of this plate
armor. You try to put that extra effort
in just glances off of his his heavy armor.

(15:08):
OK, I'm going to Action Surge. Do you need to action surge yet?
Because wasn't that second hit your nick attack with your
scimitar, so you're still in your initial.
OK. So you still have 1/3.
OK, gotcha. I just don't roll it with
advantage. Correct all.
Right, that was a 17 to hit. 17 just misses.

(15:31):
That that was I I rolled 17 on the die.
Oh, sorry. OK, 17 on the die, 17 on the
die. That's a 24.
OK, that'll hit. So that hits and then that was a
three on the D 6 + 4. So another seven damage to the

(15:51):
to, to the cinnamon roll, to theheavily, heavily armed cinnamon
roll. Yes, of.
Course, I will go ahead and action surge.
Hell yeah. I'll hit him with my.
I'll hit him with my short sword.
That was a natural one, Pam. Missed the?
First one, what the hell are youdoing out?
Here, dude, I don't know. I don't know.

(16:13):
The dice are not rolling with metonight.
So. That's I I guess that's my.
You still have at least one moreswing if you're action surging
because your multi attack alwayshas two attacks.
OK, well I already I I did the scimitar attack, I did the you

(16:33):
did that missed you did. And then I did the, I did the
short sword attack and that. That was your, that was your
whole you did. Short sword did hit scimitar
with advantage that mist which was a Nic attack which was part
of the light action property that allowed you to make their
attack after one. Then you did the.
Second attack of your original multi attack with your sort

(16:57):
sword. Then you action surged and took
another attack action, which always comes with at least two
attacks. Your attack action does, so you
still have one more swing. OK, so I have one more swing.
We're all learning. That was also that was also a
one. God damn it you.
Don't. Know one?
Another one. That one's in the back of the

(17:22):
room. Fired out of a cannon and.
So I guess I I'm going to use second wind so I get tactical
shift so I can move a little bitfurther away from the the
cinnamon roll. Excellent, great.
You swing in belly flop on top of the on top of the deck next

(17:43):
to Royal Canelo. What the hell?
And then you stand up and you'reable to Ding, Ding, slash, you
know, stab him a little bit withyour swords and cut into that,
that cinnamon oozing cinnamon roll and slice open.
There's some frosting that comesout and you back away, giving
giving him some space and anything else for your turn.

(18:04):
That'll be it. That's my entire turn.
That's a lot of stuff. Excellent, wonderful.
Tiddly. Can you give me a spell attack
roll please? Sure.
Let's do this 1/18 and 18/24/24.24 Excellent.

(18:29):
That's my. Yeah, excellent.
As as Espresso lands and slashesat Royal Canela, backs away, a
big splash of milk hits the sideof the ship, splashes up and
splashes the feet of Royal Canela, and the milk starts to
freeze at his feet and climb up,trickling up his leg, freezing

(18:51):
the knight into place and darting between the masts of the
ship, leaping into view and balancing on a yard with wisps
of frost. Wisps of frost.
Yeah, wisps of frost. Trailing behind her, a tabaxi
comes into view. Tiddly.
Will you please describe your character?
Yeah, so her name is Antonia, Antonia Elfiocho, and she is an

(19:17):
orange tabaxi with yellow eyes and she has a red bandana on and
she's a she's small for a tabaxi.
Tabaxi are typically taller thanhumans, but she is about human
height and slight. Excellent Royal Canal looks
down. What is this?
What is this sorcery? And totally you have a full
turn. Great.

(19:38):
OK, so how do we feel about somegrease?
No, I'm, I'm, I'm further away. I used, I used my movement to
get further away. This time we're good.
We're good. Should I explain why that's
funny? Yeah, you might want to.
So we did a, we did a, a test ofthe combat and in it I, I cast a

(20:03):
grease spell and basically Dan was prone.
The entire time could not get out of the grease.
Couldn't get out of the grease. I did.
I did stab that person in the toe with the dagger.
You. Did.
Yes. Yes, that was good it.
Is so on point with your character.
Just belly flop immediately on this.
That is just. So amazing.

(20:26):
All. Right, so maybe not, although we
did change the grease spell to now it's like an A sheet of ice
instead. All right, let's see what are we
going to do? Let's do let's try to do I I
added chromatic orb. Let's try doing that.
Excellent. We'll do an an ice one I
suppose. Cool.

(20:48):
What level would you like to cast that at?
I'm. Going to cast that at first
level that is 25. That's how you do it.
That's the way that will hit. Yes, that will hit OK and that
is 11. 11 Excellent. Yes, the that spell I have to

(21:10):
look back on it does that thing,does that bounce chromatic
order? I will check so I'm choosing the
cold damage type. You hurl an orb of energy at a
target. Let's see what else does it.
Say. Yep.
So in a head it takes 3D eight damage of that and then you if

(21:32):
you roll the same number on two or more of the D eights, the orb
leaves to another target of yourchoice within 30 beat.
So did you roll two of the same?I did not.
I rolled A2A4 and A5 so I did not double any of that.
I didn't know that was a thing. That's cool.
I did not know that was the thing 20. 24 We are using 2024
rules mostly for this, with somehomebrew and 2014 mixed in with

(21:54):
classes and what. Homebrew.
This isn't an official sourcebook.
Antonia leaps up on the mass andhurls, freezes Royal Canelo into
place and hurls. This chromatic orb hits him with
this frost damage, this cold damage, and freezes into.

(22:16):
Place. Tidley, you can go ahead and
take a flourish point for this flourish points because you
succeeded on that role. Dan, I'm sorry that Natural 1
did not earn you a flourish point, but when you do, when you
do cool piratey stuff in this campaign, you get force points,

(22:37):
and that is something you can expend to add +2 to a roller
saving throw. OK, and you can collect these
and they will stack from the deck of the Lady Lactose, a
tall, very muscular yellow tabaxi with green eyes, long
hair, blowing in the wind, expertly fends off a few of the
nights with his rapier. Ding Ding Ding.

(22:58):
He looks across the ships. Antonia.
My love, look at the way I see castle spells.
Oh, Antonia, you're the coldest bitch.
You know the boy. And that is a compliment because
we are pirates. And it's.
Cool to be a bitch. It's a lot of you, my love.

(23:25):
Yes. Oh, let us finish this battle
quickly so we're going to we canbe together again.
I feel so far away from you. Oh.
Yes. Just fending off.
Excellent. Scott, can you give me a ranged
attack roll with advantage please?
With advantage, Oh, I can do that.

(23:54):
How's 23? 23 A group of armored pastry can
charge across the gang gangplank, the pirates
attempting to defend but are getting pushed back
considerably. And a scorpion man, an orange
person man with an eye patch, swings his, his sword scraping
on their armor. They are too much, their armor

(24:15):
impenetrable. And then a massive loaf of
coffee bread, fully clad in silver plate armor with a full
helm on, steps on the gangplank and starts to trudge across.
We're going to lose the deck. When suddenly with that roll to
hit, a bullet finds its way right through the vision slit of
the helmet and the coffee bred beast falls forward dead,

(24:38):
springboarding the gangplank andlaunching three other plate
armor men into the milk from thedeck of the Lady Lactose.
A marshmallow man aiming down the barrel of a smoking musket
fires, then takes out two pistols and names them in the
direction of Captain Royal. Canela Scott, will you please
describe your character? Yes, as you said, he is a

(24:59):
marshmallow man. A marshfallow is his race.
He is a perfectly normal averageheight of about 5-10.
Slightly fluffy, as you would expect from a marshmallow man
wearing a sort of tattered Navy silver spoon, Navy uniform.
He is not a pure white marshmallow.

(25:19):
He's got markings sort of on hisskin around him in the colorings
of like a serial marshmallow, you know, your yellows, pinks,
greens, Blues, sort of tracing around his skin in various
spots. And he is Milford Mills or
nicknamed General Mills by the crew.
Excellent. Enough loafing around.

(25:41):
We must, we must get them off our ship, he says.
Excellent. The right now the gangplank in
front of you has fallen into theinto the milk.
You do have a clear shot at Captain Royal Canela if you
would like to take your full turn.
I would like to take my full turn and since I've got Dandy
and miss Swiss out my 2 pistols.I will.

(26:02):
Be. Taking a shot with that first
one is 17 to hit. 17 just misseson that.
All right, well we still get a second attack thanks to the
light property with these and I will take a second shot as my
bonus action which will be a 23 to hit.

(26:26):
The 23 will hit. I think that one's going to hit.
That seems much better, but I won't get sneak attack on this
because I did not hit with the first shot and also rolled
terribly on the damage. That is 6 damage from old miss
Swiss whomp indeed. I agree.
But you did hit him from across the the ship, Yes.

(26:48):
And because you hit with that first one, taking out that giant
cinnamon loaf, man, cinnamon. Bread.
He was a coffee bread man Excuse.
Me that coffee. Cake.
He was a coffee cake, He was a coffee cake.
You get a flourish. Actually.
Oh, does that mean I could have added that flourish point to my
original role to hit? And would it have hit if it was

(27:08):
too higher? You could have, but I guess I
just awarded it all. Right.
Fair enough. If we want to rewind time, Nope,
you. Could.
I mean, if you're a share. You could.
Is this that kind of campaign? Can we rewind lime?
All right, I will just note thatI have a flourish point for the

(27:29):
future and I shall end my turn there.
OK, Tao, will you give me a spell attack roll please?
17. 17 Excellent Ed As you back up away from Royal royal Canela,
you back up against kind of the edge of the the quarter deck and

(27:54):
bump into a big barrel of gunpowder.
And you see forming next to the gunpowder, a mage hand that
reaches down and scoops up a bighandful of gunpowder and trails
it from the gunpowder barrel underneath your legs and trails
it toward Captain Royal Cannella.

(28:15):
And the the mage hand piles up anice pile of that gunpowder on
the foot, the metal foot of Captain Royal Cannella.
Across the way on the on the Lady Lactose standing on the
quarter deck, a rice crispy woman stands directing the mage
hand. How will you please describe

(28:36):
your character? Yeah, so I am Saab crispy.
I'm a rice crispy creature. I'm a squat little little gal,
probably 4 feet tall, wearing very fancy looking armor, but
probably looks more pretty than it is useful.
And she's got a very fancy lute strap to her back and is ready

(29:00):
to go. Excellent.
You have a full turn. Well, I think I might go ahead
and cast a little heat metal on that little metal shoe.
Excellent. Great.
Yes, excellent. You cast Heat Metal, go ahead
and roll some damage and. But I got a hit first.

(29:22):
Yeah, that was only an 11. I think it automatically does
it, yeah, 'cause you choose an object and then or weapon or
suit of heavier metal, metal, heavier medium metal armor that
you can see and you cast the object, cause the object to glow
red hot, and any creature in physical contact with the object
takes 2D8 fire damage when you cast the spell.
Yeah. So it's just an automatic thing

(29:43):
and you can cast that at a higher level.
Yeah, I'm gonna cast at Level 3.Excellent.
I just have to say, I think Sog Crispy is maybe my favorite name
we've ever had on this podcast. It's all stupid.
It's. Great. 03 eighths, 24 yeah.

(30:07):
Amazing. Let's go better than three.
Royal Canela's suit of armor lights on fire.
Any take, it's 24 points of firedamage from that and lights the
gunpowder on fire trails towardsEd espresso Ed, you see this

(30:29):
coming and you perhaps saw it coming before it even happened
because she's pulled this shit before and.
You. Just see the gunpowder.
Wiley Coyote. Going toward the gunpowder.
Barrel hits it and it explodes. Dan, you're going to get
advantage on this saving throw, but this barrel is going to
explode as as it will do. You got damage to it.

(30:53):
That is 4D, That's 4D10 damage that you can roll towel for
this. All right, so I got a 16 on the
dice. Do I add anything to that?
This was what sort of saving throw?
Dex This is a Dexterity saving throw.

(31:14):
OK. So I add 3 sounds right, I
think, yeah. OK.
So that's 19. 19 excellence thatwill save and you'll take half
damage from this. How much fire damage is that
4D10? 23. 23.
Incredible. Wow.
Nice, nice goes and hits it, boom goes off.

(31:37):
Yet Dan you take 12 or 1111 points of damage from that fire
damage. Boom.
Royal Canela cannot make the save because he is grappled.
He takes that full damage and heis looking very very bad.
His metal is on fire, heated, and he looks up and he grabs his
his rapier and points it at Ed. You get off my ship, you dirty,

(32:02):
stinking pirates, and he goes and he attacks you because he's
no longer grappled by the ice because it say Tal.
You get a flourish point for that, by the way.
So you can take a flourish pointthat amazing turn it.
Rules to have a flourish point. Am I right everyone?
Yeah, I know everyone except oneperson got one.

(32:26):
We did a combined 53 damage on our two turns.
That was really impressive, the way that we both contributed.
First one is an 18 to hit you Dan. 18 to hit me.
My AC is is 15. That will hit you will take 9 or
8 slashing damage, +9 radiant damage as he takes this glave

(32:51):
out and he and he infuses it with this radiant damage energy
stabs you, he's going to bonus action smite and you need to
make a constitution saving throw.
Constitution saving throw? OK, that is 17. 17 you succeed
he tries to use this smite action, this blinding light from

(33:14):
the from the from the silver spoon Knights as he ignites his
his sword with this divine smitestabs you and you are you saved
from that from that ability he has two more attacks.
Next attack is a 20 to hit that hits 14 slashing damage plus is.

(33:35):
Stan gonna die. 3. Radiant damage.
I'm down dude. You're down.
Yeah. Come down. 1st episode.
Tight, tight. So you are down.
He swings around and takes out his Arcubus Arcubus and aims

(33:56):
this big rifle up at up at Antonia.
And that is only a nine to hit. Does not hit.
It goes and goes wide, misses you.
We are back up at the top of theturn order and Ed, you are.

(34:19):
Up. For your turn, but you are down
shit. So, Ed, I need you to make a
death saving throw for me, all right?
So that's a that's AD. 20 right flat D20 on A10 flat D20.
That's a success. OK, that's an 11.
That's a success. OK, Ed has one success.

(34:40):
Antonia, you're up. OK, So Ed is is still Ed is
down, right? Ed espresso is down.
OK. And you're close to Royal
Canela. I'm.
Yeah, I believe like right next.Within 5 within 5 feet I

(35:03):
believe. Yeah, because he stepped up to
stab you. Yeah.
And Royal Canal is not looking good.
No, he's looking very bad. He is heating up the the
frosting is bubbling on his body.
The parts that you can see 'cause his entire plate armor is
is red hot with the heat metal spill.
OK, let's see, let's try, let's try doing.

(35:28):
I'm going to try to be a frost, OK, And that is 12. 12 does not
hit. Does not hit.
OK, unfortunate. Do I have any bonus actions I
can do? I do not.
I am going to move away. I'm going to back up.

(35:54):
OK, cool. You're standing on top of a yard
on their ship right now. And so you could if you want to.
Yeah, that's that. You're kind of elevated away
from him. You're not like on the deck.
Next. Oh, OK, OK, well, I'm gonna back
up as far as I can. OK, you can hop to the other
other mast if you want you. Can.
Oh yeah. Do I?
Can I? Can I try a rope swing?

(36:14):
Should I try a rope swing? To just jump from one mast to
the other that. Will, OK, it's OK, All right.
I'm so I'm gonna use my backseatathletic thing maybe, though I'm
not OK. I think is that do you get extra
movement speed? Is that what you get?
Do you get? Yeah, yeah, I'll use that.
Feline agility lets you. Feline agility used.

(36:36):
As long and then doesn't reset until you don't move on a turn
in the future. OK, cool.
You don't actually need to use that to get from one mask to the
other. Then let's So go ahead and do a
give me a give me an athletics, an athletics check.
Oh boy. OK.
She's not, she is not athletic at all.

(36:57):
She's got a. 5 This is. Very encouraging for her.
You leap and you grab on. You try to grab on to the mast
of the next one and it's like your claws don't sink into it
and you try to scramble. Santolio, my love Olario jumps,
leaps off of the ship, grabs a rope and tries to swing.

(37:19):
Well, let's see what he gets on his athletics check.
Oh, he. Nails it.
He gets a 17 on the die and he. Nails it.
Grabs the the rope swings acrossand and grabs you in the air and
and lands upon the mask And whenthe cat shaves you amazing,
incredible. So you're back on the second

(37:40):
mask back after Alario? I'm I'm absolutely swooning.
Great, yes. Absolutely, yeah.
Excellent. Where are we even at?
We're at Scott. 'S turn.
I don't know. We're at.
Great, General Milford Mills, you are up.

(38:00):
All right, well, this is a damn prime situation.
How much movement would I need to get to Dan to espresso?
So to get to Dan, you are on thethe deck.
So with all of the commotion going on in the Pirates, it's
you would be able to use your movement to get to the deck.

(38:22):
He's up on the quarter deck. So if you wanted to attempt an
athletics or acrobatics check toswing rope to get there, that
would be a check that you could make to try and get up to him.
No, then I don't want to do that.
I only was curious if I 'cause Icould bonus action dash to get

(38:43):
to him if I if it was a a movement that would not require
me to make a check so that I could then use my action to pick
him up. Get him the fuck.
Out of there the the check the the movement check with the
ropes in this is a is a free action to be able to use that
movement on the pirate ship. Oh, OK.
So it's not like an action to like do a check, if that makes

(39:04):
sense. I'm still going to just try to
shoot him because that's more fun for me.
So I will use my bonus action instead to lock in place to
steady a Milford's two legs. Marshmallow legs just kind of
fuse into like one Bigfoot to get himself extra sturdy with
his musket to give himself advantage on a shot at the

(39:25):
captain on the other side. So that is a come on you fuck
you fuck dice, you fuck that's bad, 16 to hit.
A 16 does not hit fuck well. Do you happen to have any, I
don't know, expendable resourceson you?

(39:47):
Maybe a flourish point Possibly.You're right, I do have a
flourish wood. Are you telling me that perhaps
an 18 would? Hit.
I would like to. Use a flourish point to see.
You use that flourish point whipped and and fire get that
extra gumption. Hit the AC of 18 on Royal
Canela. All right, excellent.
I'm going to then I will roll mydamage, which is AD 12 + 4.

(40:12):
Oh, nice, 15 damage off the shot.
And instead of doing the three D6 for the sneak attack, I'm
gonna expend one of those D6 to poison the bullet.
So they have to make a constitution saving throw of 15
or be poisoned for one minute. And then I only get to roll 2D6

(40:33):
for the sneak attack damage. His He rolled a 15.
If it meets it beats. So I suppose he's not poisoned
and he takes an additional 5 damage from the the sneak
attack. He is looking real bad, Very,
very bad. You take, you shoot, and like
you like hit his armor, his arm,he gets spun around a little

(40:53):
bit, goes down to 1 knee, his bright red heated, delicious
looking cinnamon roll. Not to your characters.
Your characters. Don't eat them I want.
You to cinnamon. Roll.
The clean got the mirrors. Of.
Cannibalism in this In this. World.
Let me, let me be. Clear.
We had a conversation about the roles of cannibalism.
Your characters. Your your characters smell

(41:15):
burning flesh. We smell something different.
Yeah, OK. All right.
So yes, the viral. Fence of cinnamon rolls baking
in this. In the heat.
Anything else for your turn? I cannot do anything else, no.
OK Tal you are up and Royal Canela is down to 1 knee in his

(41:37):
in his armor that is bright red.What would you like to do?
If I swing, can I get over to Ed?
You can, yeah. OK, what kind of what check am I
making on that? Give me an athletics or
acrobatics check. 14. 14 you'll you will make it.

(42:01):
You swing across and you fall prone.
You're going to be stuck where you're at because that's going
to be all of your movement. 15 is the DC to like use the, the
use the kind of rope to its fulleffect.
But you didn't fail to get there.
You just land and let me see if you're able to actually land
close enough to him, which wouldbe in within 5, within 5 feet.

(42:27):
So this is just kind of a luck check.
Actually. Why don't you make a luck check?
Go give me AD 20 to see if you're able to get within 5 feet
of him with that. 09. 9 Unfortunately, you land about 10
feet away from him and land on the deck and are prone.
OK, well, but I still have action.

(42:52):
You do. Yep.
You have your, you have your full turn.
I will. I'm gonna cast Starry Wisp on
the cinnamon guy. OK, cool.
So that is a 20 to hit. Yep, that will hit.

(43:17):
Great. So that does 2D8, so that's
eight damage and then I'm going to go ahead and bonus action my
heat metal on him. Incredible.
The sorry wisp is a you launcheda mode of light.
How does that yeah does that look any special way as as SOG

(43:38):
casts starry wisp? Let's see for SOG it almost
looks like a little as it hits it kind of goes snap crackle pop
as it hits him you. Can like see the words.

(43:59):
And you cast heap metal, and that's going to do it to poor
royal, Royal Canela. And as he heats up and goes
down, his body heating up, he looks across.
I'm not afraid. I do not fear your death.
Do you know where you're going? When the silver spoon comes, as
it does for us all, will it takeyou to the great box above, or

(44:21):
will it take you to the mouth ofeternal mastication?
I would bet that the latter is true.
And he dies on the on the groundand melts seemingly out of
nowhere. Captain Spoonlake kind of like
pops up next to him. And you like, I haven't really
seen him move at all, but he's just suddenly there and he looks

(44:41):
out to the to the rest of the crew.
Your captain is falling. Surrender or you'll meet the
same fate as your dear captain Royal Canela.
And he looks out at the at, at the crew of the ship and
everybody, all the Knights of the Silver Spoon, lay down their
swords. As you have been victorious in
this fight, congratulations, we're out of initiative.

(45:07):
Grab somebody from a tent of their head.
Yes, I don't have a medical treat feelings spell.
Yes, I'll go ahead and OK, make my way over and I'll cast Cure
Wounds. Let's see here.
Very good, Dan. 23. O20. 8/27 Was that right?

(45:36):
+4 Holy cow was. That a what?
The Heather level. Third level.
Oh my. OK, third.
Level cure. Third level cure wounds. 28 plus
your Yeah that was 68 + 4 holy cow. 68 + 4.
Nice, yeah. Amazing, Ed, you come to life.

(45:59):
Hey, thank you. Great job, Ed.
We certainly took this down together, all of us together
with an equal share. Amazing job.
And he brings you up, pulls you up.
Thanks. The ship surrenders and Captain
Spoon Leg directs the crew of your ship to pile the gunpowder

(46:24):
barrels together, light it on fire, just dismantling the ship
enough so they cannot follow you, and you sail away on the
Lady Lactose and the crew rejoices.
A few crew members bring up a dirty chest.
I. Was rejoicing.
Perfect. No time for rejoicing.
OK, Sorry. Yay.

(46:45):
A few crew members bring up a dirty chest recently dug up and
set it on the deck, and Captain Spoonleg addresses the crew.
Before we open this loot and claim the booty within, I'd like
to give honor to one of our crewmembers today, a lad who
confidently told those silver plated bastards to kiss off
Jimmy Long John, I deem you today keeper of the Conch.

(47:08):
Congratulations lad. And he hands him the Conch.
What? Thank you so, so much.
And he grabs the conch in the wrong way, and it amplifies his
voice. This is such an honor.
I don't know what to say. Just like ear splitting.
Oh, sorry. Whoopsie.
OK, enough talk. Let's open it up.

(47:29):
And one of the crew smashes the lock and flings open the lid,
revealing a heaping pile of goldflakes.
The crew gasps. Anna Van Hato, the Ascorpion man
The Ascorpion man with an eye patch says OK Amigos for the
pirate code. Captain gets first deeds on

(47:49):
anything within a reasonable evaluation of his cut, of
course. And Captain Spoon leg steps
forward, reaches in, grabbing a corner of something just peeking
out of the gold, and lifts it out.
A rectangular cardboard box, blank on all sides except the
back, where there's a beautiful,colorful, stylized map of

(48:13):
Ceramica. No noticeable directions, large
XS or any other markings. Captain, that looks pretty
worthless. You sure that's what you want?
I I'll take this and this alone.Take the rest of my portion and
split it amongst yourselves. Something about this tells me

(48:33):
there's more than meets the eye.Fill your pockets, young
pirates. Tonight we make port.
Eat like kings, drink like foolsand Make Love like it's the last
day in the bowl. Like it's your last day in the
bowl in the morning. Not it's whatever.

(48:54):
Eat like kings, drink like fools, and Make Love like it's
your last day in the bowl in themorning.
Don't look for me, for by the time soul rises I'll be far away
on adventures untold, and when Ifind the significance of this
here box, you'll all be the first to hear about it, and away
we'll go. You and the rest of the pirates

(49:16):
aboard the Lady Lactose split the gold and make port, them,
make port. That night I'm doing just as
Captain Spoonleg advises, drinking and celebrating in
revelry at your successful excursion.
The crew all goes to bed that night with anticipation of what
that strange map on the back of the box might reveal.

(49:37):
A few days go by without word from Captain Spoonleg.
The crew of the Lady Lactose decides to split until they hear
from their old captain. Days turn into weeks, weeks into
months, and months into years. Five years later, some things in
the bowl have changed. The Church of the Silver Spoon,

(49:59):
which previously had a major control over the milk
surrounding the pastry keys, hadspread itself too thin, inviting
piracy from all directions. Unable to defend its trade
routes and islands. Well, piracy has flourished in
this percent of the milk. On the other side of the bowl, a
new resource has hit the high seas.
In Honeycomb Cay, the pollen folk have discovered a way to

(50:22):
mass produce honey. Honey has become a vital
commodity in the bowl. It's sweet and delicious, but
not habit forming or addictive like chocolate or cocoa, which
can make you go cuckoo. The Honey Nut Trading Company
has rapidly evolved, sending their ships loaded with honey
throughout the bowl, trading with everyone who can get their

(50:43):
hands on that sweet, delicious golden syrup.
As we return to our heroes, we go to a place in the
southeastern loaf of the Waffle Isles, a place where the Waffle
is submerged and dangerous terrain waits just under the
surface of the Skims. Deep in this difficult to

(51:04):
navigate place is a pirate town known as the Sogs.
Scott, can you please roll a perception check with
disadvantage? Yes I can, that's oh fuck me
that is as bad as disadvantage can be a Nat 20 to a Nat 10,

(51:29):
absolutely. Wow.
General Milford Mills, you awake.
You awaken in a panic after being soaked with milk.
Wake up and you see a blurry farm in front of you standing

(51:50):
there. What do you do?
You said I'm waking with panic. Yes, panicked.
Fire off a shot with Dandy at the figure.
Amazing roll and your your vision is kind of blurred right
now. Give me a a attack roll with
disadvantage. That's.
Fine, that is a 13. 13 you Fire goes over the shoulder of the

(52:17):
person standing there. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Hold on.
What's going on here? And it's As your vision clears,
you can see Anna Lenhato standing in front of you, a
person you haven't seen in years.
On our own holler, is that you? What's going on?
What's the meaning of this? Waking a man up from this burger

(52:38):
with a bowl of milk. Amigo, I I, I can't believe it.
I I, I'm sorry. I, I, I thought it was you
General. But why are you here with the
pigs? And you can see that you are in
waking up in a pig sty with these potato pigs, kind of like
running around you. Certainly someone out here in

(53:00):
these Sogs has poisoned you and thrown you into this pig pen,
no? Well, what's up man, about these
accommodations? You know, I've I've had worse
blood flowers in these pigs. There's a place, publicly fine
place, for a man to drink and drift off, and he pulls out a
bottle of rum and takes a big. Swig.
Great. I, I, OK, I, I didn't quite

(53:26):
catch all of that, but here, letme help you up here and the
helps you up. I have a letter from you, a
letter that I got, but I've beentasked by Captain Spoonleg to
hand these out. There's a few places we need to
go. He hands you a letter.
Captain Spoonleg, is he back? Then he he points the letter.
Yeah, opens it up for you. And the voice of Captain

(53:51):
Spoonleg comes from the letter. The Lady Lactose calls for you
meet me in the Casa del Gafrey 4days after my birthday and the
paper has a hand drawn symbol ofCaptain Spoon leg which is just
a stick figure with one leg drawn as a spoon.
Yes, this is authentic. That's his signature.

(54:14):
Well, haste makes waste. We must.
We must go at once. Yes, of course, General.
Today, of course, is his birth, his four days after his
birthday. So today is the day we must go
to the Casa Deau Gaffrey. Let's go.
Let's head first. We have to go to the library,
though. I've got another one of these to
deliver. Off we go.

(54:34):
Sorry if I hit you with that shot, by the way.
You know I'm a crack crack shop.No, no, don't worry, he just
missed. We go to another St. in the
Saugs to a shop called Hemhook'sClothier.
Hemhook is a big corn pop cerealman with a multi tool hook
needle hand and he stands talking to Edmund Espresso who

(54:58):
has the letter in hand from Captain Spoonleg.
Dan, tell us how Ed is looking these days.
Ed So the tattered clothes that he was wearing before, imagine
them like 10 times worse. Just like just ribbon just
dangling off of like a frame. He's almost naked.

(55:20):
He just is like. He's.
Gone on adventures since the time against the Contrera
Magnifica and but he just hasn'tfixed anything.
He hasn't purchased anything newand he's gone into the shop with
the intent of of of finding something new for a new quest.

(55:43):
Referring to adventure. Hammock is talking to you.
Look Lois, I can go for a plain shirt and a plain trousers is 2
silver flakes like I don't know what to tell you.
Look, you got, you got to go cheaper, you got to go cheaper.
I got, I got to, I got to keep everything that I have.

(56:06):
Man, you're you're you're killing me like 2 silver flakes.
It's like I'll. Give you the shirt off my back.
You need laughs? Look, look around man.
Look at this. I got shirts, blouses, trousers,
vests, sashes, coats, cloaks. These pants were made in the
Java archipelago. That that's, that's great.

(56:28):
They look like they've they looklike they've been someone's
toilet paper. Look, I got all these different
clothes, man, and you are like anormal human looking person.
Like it's so easy for me to justgive you this shirt for as cheap
as I can offer it. Basically, I make all this stuff
for I I made AII, made a. Blouse for a.

(56:51):
POTUS or a banana I made. Do you know what I have a cloak
to make for a tartle later. Do you know what a tartle is?
That's a grapefruit person. I got all this stuff that I got
to make for all these people. It just.
Does it come in blue? Well, sure, I got a blue one.
OK, sure, fine. Just here.
He tosses the 2 silver flake. Great, he takes it and gives you

(57:16):
a brand new blue shirt. And did you want the blue
trousers? Yeah, yeah, I'll take the blue
trousers too. Thank you.
Nice, all right. And gives it to you.
And you walk away, a letter fromCaptain Spoon, leg in your hand,
toward the Casa do Goffrey. And you walk along the street

(57:37):
and see a line of women in very low cut dresses.
Hey baby, you want someone to clean you up?
Maybe we get a little dirty first.
I look, I can't afford it. That coffee looks sweet, can I
have a taste? I can't he he actually like.
He stops for a second, turns andlooks at her in the eye and he

(57:59):
casts A cantrip good coffee and he makes he makes these tiny
little thermoses like blue thermoses with like the white
top like and just hands them outgreat and then says just have a
good rest of your day. And then he walks away.

(58:21):
And she takes the the cup. Oh, thank you.
Oh man, now you make feel, make me feel bad.
I was just a distraction and youfeel cold steel along your neck.
Someone's placed a blade from behind you and you feel the
barrel of a gun press up againstyour back.

(58:45):
Is this Ness? You hear a voice.
I always wondered what that creamy skin felt like up close.
It's hard to place. Don't immediately place the
voice, OK? She.
Backs you away. She backs you away and into into

(59:05):
a hallway. Turns you around and pushes you
against the wall. Puts the the knife up against
your neck again and pins you to the to the wall.
She has two tomatoid enemies next to her, and before you, you
see a woman made out of cherry tomatoes with a hat that has a

(59:27):
green olive pierced through the hat.
She's wearing a flowy blouse with a very tight vest on.
Long time no see Bloody Mary. Last time I saw you, you were
sailing away with your crew, leaving me on a small silver

(59:47):
dollar island with nothing but apistol and a single shot.
And she sticks the revolver underneath your chin.
As I recall, the entire crew voted to maroon me, except for
one person who wanted to kill meoutright.
And. I'd do it again.
They should have listened to you, Ed.
She fires the gun. Click.

(01:00:11):
Dan is dead twice. Sorry, I already used the bullet
and she puts it away, still holding the knife at your
throat. OK, I'm trying to think of what
I can do here. Do I have any of my gear outside

(01:00:36):
of like the tattered clothes andthe new clothes that I just.
Purchased So you do you know if you were to make a move right
now, just with your like past ofwisdom, she has the knife on
your throat that gives her like an automatic like crit at this
level. Like it's like this isn't like
an official rule necessarily, but she has you in a position
where she can do a critical hit on you to start off, and she has

(01:00:58):
the two tomatoid kind of brutes right next to her.
So you kind of some feeling surrounded in this like alley
pinned against the wall. All right, OK, all right.
Bloody Mary. What's the next play?
Well, you know me, I'm all for revenge, but revenge doesn't
make you any richer. You've been a pirate for a long

(01:01:21):
time, been on a lot of successful voyages, but yet
nobody's ever seen you spend more than a silver flake.
If I had to guess, you have a stash somewhere unless you're
sending it all to someone special.
What if I What if I just did it all for free?
You don't know, you don't know. Maybe I just like.

(01:01:43):
Maybe I just like sailing. Maybe I just like seeing the
world. Then you're not a real pirate,
and I know you. You're a real pirate.
Real pirates too don't work for free.
Maybe I am a pirate, maybe I'm not.
She takes the knife off your chin.
I want you espresso. I want your gold.
That is, although you and I could have some fun together.

(01:02:09):
Maybe we should give it a chance.
I'll pass. One of the tomatoids like grabs
your like pocket. Yeah, your your your coin purse
from you. And like, he's got some money
here and and she says let him have it.

(01:02:32):
I want to see where he buries it.
And then she like, nods to you to scram.
OK. I bet she wants to see where
I'm. Married all right, so and like

(01:02:53):
Ed, Ed makes his way out into the street into like the like to
the safest place that he can think of.
Great. You have the letter in hand that
you know to meet. Yeah, Captain Spoonlig at the
Casa del Golf, Ray. And that seems like probably the
best place now is to meet with your friends that you haven't
seen in a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I, I, I

(01:03:15):
ditched the rags like this is a pirate town.
So I'm assuming that a lot of people are just naked.
Yes. There's a lot of chaos going
around. The ladies that were trying to
get your attention, there's a lot of of them around.
A lot of drunkards just walking the streets, lots of noises,
gunfire going off. I just, I find a corner, I find
a corner. I I, I shed the rags, like

(01:03:39):
almost literally shed the rags, put put on all the new clothes
and then and then make my way. Excellent, General Mills.
You walk with honor on Hato through the streets of the Sogs
to a big dilapidated warehouse building near the docks.
It looks pretty dumpy. It's just like, it's just, it's

(01:03:59):
like a big warehouse that's justright there close to the, the,
the ocean about here in the Sogs.
You can look out and see that the there's lots of like
floating waffles in the eye in this area.
It's very dangerous, very like sharp pointy waffles that are
kind of in the mix. Lots of pirate ships coming in
and making dock after making their way successfully into this

(01:04:22):
pirate town. But you walk to this big
warehouse and see this big symbol on the front hanging on a
sign and the symbol of a book. And this is a place known as Red
Beard's Library. Not that, not that everybody can
spell. I think your character can
probably read, but Red Beard's Library spelled READ Beard's

(01:04:44):
Library and you walk in to find that this library quotes is just
a massive dumping ground of books.
Basically this is just a place for crews.
When they come in with a big hoard of of loot from a merchant
ship. They take all the books and just
dump them into this big warehouse because not a whole
lot of people can read. Sitting at a table amongst the

(01:05:08):
piles of the books reading is Antonia and Anaron.
Hado says out loud. Antonia is that you and Antonia
roll a perception with disadvantage.
Sure. A10.
A10 Anoran, Hado and Olario havesimilar accents.

(01:05:29):
Without looking up, you think it's the voice of Olario.
Wait, is is that you Olario? Oh, no, ma'am.
It's a this is Antonio, it's us.It's new for the.
Oh, OK, OK, OK. I'm, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I thought I thought it was I thought it was.

(01:05:51):
I thought I thought it was someone else.
I'm sorry. But hi, it's it's nice to it's
nice. It's nice to see you guys it.
Comes up and gives her a big disgusting hug.
He's just. Oh, hi.
Hi, what? Do you want to see you again?
Oh girl. Hi.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're doing that, OK.
We're back together, Have you heard?
Oh, oh, we are OK. I mean, I was I.

(01:06:14):
Was kind. Of I was kind of reading here,
but you know, I guess that couldbe fun too, yeah.
On Ron Hatto walks up to you as we have AI have a letter for
you. It's it's directed to you and
Hilario and he hands you a letter with with both of your
names on the front. Oh, OK, OK.
I mean, I can, I can, I can read.

(01:06:35):
So I mean all right. You open it up and it's the same
message from earlier Captain Spoonleg inviting you to the
Casa del Golf Rey. Oh, oh, oh, I guess this is
serious. I guess we're getting the, the
band back together, I guess. OK.
I mean, I've, I've been busy doing all this research and I

(01:06:58):
mean, I've, it's very serious. And I, I mean, I guess I could
take a sabbatical, A slight sabbatical and you know, just,
it'd be nice to see people. Yes, it would.
I'm sorry, but this letter, it'sfor Alario too.
I guess I assumed that he would.Oh no.
Here then. No, Oh my gosh, it's, it's been,
it's been absolutely awful. He, he, he left me.

(01:07:22):
He left me. I I.
It's. Yeah, I don't.
I mean, I don't really want to talk about it, but.
It's been, it's been sure, two people more in love than you. 2
How is this possible? I, I don't, I don't know.
I thought we were OK. I thought everything was OK.
And then I was, I was sleeping and the next morning he was just

(01:07:46):
gone. He didn't leave me a note, He
didn't say anything. He just, he just left.
And I have not seen him since. So it's been, it's been really
hard. It's been really hard.
I'm so terribly sorry to hear that.
I'm so getting the crew back together with just what you need
to pick your spirits up and maybe we can find that bastard

(01:08:06):
and drag him out to sea and teach him a lesson.
But have a good God. To leave you.
I don't. I mean I.
Don't want that, I don't. Want a greedy name?
I will stab him and I'll stab him again.
No. No, no, no, no.
I mean, I who knows? I mean maybe maybe he was
kidnapped. I mean, I can't think of another
reason as to why. We must, my case, we must now

(01:08:27):
get together and save. The case and find do we save
him? Yes, and then we skin him.
No, no. So.
Aggressive. Just.
Like Muppets? I suppose.
You in the library, there's a pile of books that falls over

(01:08:47):
and we're going to pause there and we are going to go to a city
far away in the Milk. To Strudel City we go.
The metropolis of the Pastry Keys, with many tall, thin
buildings. At the top of one of these
buildings, the PET. At the penthouse, the Crispies
talk to their youngest daughter,Sog, who has the letter in hand.

(01:09:09):
Tal, how is Sog looking these days?
Sog's looking pretty much the same.
She's a little bit fatter now, looks a little bit S aged a few
years, but mostly she's looking very bored.
Great. Your mom talks to you.
Oh darling, your father and I are so so proud of you.
Going off, getting more merchantexperience.

(01:09:34):
When we lost you at sea all those years ago, we thought you
were dead, only to find that youwere just working on another
merchant ship. Getting experience so you could
better serve our business. Such smart innovation.
SOG, you are so so smart. I cannot believe I finally heard
back from Spoon leg. It's been so many years.

(01:09:56):
Strudel City is the worst. I'm ready to leave, can you help
me get there please? Absolutely.
I'm, I'm, I'm sorry your sisterscouldn't be here to see you go.
Crackle is on her way to dine with the Prince of Danusha,
while Snap and Pop are busy getting primped for the ball
tonight. Don't forget to write.

(01:10:17):
Remember, don't forget when you go.
Every day, everywhere I go, I'lllet you know exactly.
Where I am, the more you tell usabout your exact location as you
see all the four milks, the better.
And they give you this magic ring that allows you to cast the
sending spell once a day only tothem.
The smartphone that can only call your parents like.

(01:10:43):
And your mother, Olga Crisp, creates a portal.
All right, it's time for you to go.
It doesn't create a portal. She's going to cast teleport.
I'm so used to casting portals in the last in the last campaign
we did. Hung up wind found effect.
Real quick says okay. Remember, don't forget to write.

(01:11:07):
And she places your hand, her hand on your shoulder and
teleports you and into a pile ofbooks, seemingly.
And you stumble into a library and see some of your old
compatriots. Mills, Antonia and I run over
and I just give them both a big hug.

(01:11:27):
Oh, we're doing it again, OK. Back together.
I missed you guys. Oh yes, I've muster up beat
attitude in all these years. Certainly.
How have you win song? Oh, it's been the worst.
I've been stuck at land, being with rich folk wanting to go to

(01:11:49):
balls and eat food and and and talk pretty.
I don't know, I don't like it. I'm ready to be back at at sea.
Sons absolutely revolting if youask me Bob.
Just a horrible, stagnant life. And you, what have you been up

(01:12:11):
to, Antonia, what's been going on?
I mean, I mean, I've just been I, you know, I've been doing my
research and Alario left me and.Don't worry, Song, we're going
to find the bastard and skin them alive.
Yeah, we're going to skin so many people, skin them.
All. Take their husk off their skin,

(01:12:35):
whatever type they are. Fruition, whatever we'll take.
But we should be on our way to go to the to the Casa del
Gaffrey. We don't want to keep Captain
Spoon like waiting four days. I'm just, I'm just saying
nonetheless. I'm just picturing him with like
a necklace with like, you know, different, you know, trophies.

(01:12:56):
Oh, sure. Yeah.
Ronado Absolutely, yeah. Which is.
Like there's like a. Necklace.
He's got like stems on there, like like fruit stems that
you're like, where are those? Trophies, you know, so.
There's rules against cannibalism, but but it's.
Like A2 tooth necklace but like he's got like you.
Know like a fruit. Like a like a fruit loop around

(01:13:18):
1. You know it's.
Like super dark. Yeah, an orange person skinning
people is like, it's like peeling, you know?
Like it just feels extra. It feels.
It does feel very. Unappealing.
Actually. An appealing good yes.
So you so he directs you guys walk to the Casa del Gauffre.

(01:13:41):
And the Casa del Gauffre is at the end of the street in this
waffle aisle town. It is the most notorious Tavern
in all of Ceramica. It's a seedy place where the
breakfast is so greasy. It's as greasy as the the pirate
patrons themselves. And as you get closer, you see

(01:14:01):
Espresso just changing into someblue attire.
Dear Lord, I can see his beans. I didn't.
Know. I mean.
Hey. Hi, guys.
Swear, I mean. He's, he's, he's just pulling up
his trousers like as fast as he can.

(01:14:24):
I run up to give him a big hug even though he's getting
dressed. I don't care.
But it's like that. It's like kind of hug where like
you're hugging somebody that they're like, yeah, their arms
are bound together. And whenever Mills hugs someone
and let's go, there's like an impression of them in the
marshmallow. I love that.

(01:14:46):
It's beautiful. Hey guys.
What's going on? Well, we've forgotten the
captain's birthday. Apparently it's four days past
and I don't have a present. Oh, I meant to get him
something. Do do you think he'll take this?
I just like shape some shape some coffee into like a little

(01:15:11):
spoon. Is this a good coffee or is this
like a? This is shape.
Shape, shape. Brew.
Yeah, good. Shape Brew.
Take a trip. Awesome, do you mind if I put my
name on it as well? I'm the whip.
Oh yeah, everybody. Antonia.
Antonia Sog. You want to put your name on
this. Oh yeah, sure.
Sure, put my name on it too there.

(01:15:32):
If you don't mind, I would do that too.
Sure, still still into skin in people.
The I mean the wrong people, theright.
People. Yeah, of course.
Yeah, you know, Yeah. OK.
Yeah, we'll put. Your no, so don't go by the
pirate code and such, you know. Yes, of course.
OK, we'll put your name on it too, Ottero.

(01:15:53):
Thank you. All right, well, we're here.
Let's go on the inside, I suppose, and he walks in and
takes you into the Casa do Goffrey.
And as you open the door, the familiar chaos of this Tavern
meets you and Azuli blueberry woman with a pan chases after a
biscuit man you dried up on Billard buttered field.

(01:16:15):
I'll. Beat you to become you'll be
you're. Crumbling by the time I'm done
with you. A drunk mini wheat is sitting on
the ground hiccupping with a bottle of rum in his hand.
A card game is happening at a table and suddenly a short
bearded Vitamite vitamin man stands up, takes out a gun,
loudly accusing a POTUS I, who is a banana person, of cheating.
A man in dirty cleric robes of soul tips a glass of tips a

(01:16:38):
bottle of Raisin wine all the way up and falls off his chair.
The Tavern is loud with music, shouting and general ruckus, but
when you hear a voice beckoning you from afar.
Hey, hey guys over here. And running toward you is Jimmy
Long John. He's got new scars on his face
since the last time you've seen him.

(01:16:59):
Well, hey guys, it's been a longtime.
Y'all got Captain spoon legs letter too?
Wow. Well, I got us a corner.
A table in the corner. I got her early for reservations
but forgot that they don't take reservations here.
But the droop letty that was sitting there just died.
So they wheeled him out and I snag the table.

(01:17:23):
Good. Old lucky I already forgot his
name. Long, John.
Jimmy, Jimmy Long, the skinny Long John donor.
Good old lucky Jimmy. Of course.
Wonderful the table. Did you get a present for spoon?
Like do you want us to put your?Name put.
Your name on this? No, I got him present.

(01:17:45):
What did you get him? He pulls out.
He pulls out this like wooden ship that I got him a little
replica. I found this ship.
It's not like a perfect replica that's much better.
That's much better lactose on toit.
I thought it was like really nice do.
We put our name on that one. Yeah, we should put our name on
that 1 I think. Sure, you can put your name on
it. Yeah, Absolutely.

(01:18:06):
No, not at all, of course. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, scribbling on the card.
Scribbling his name on the card.Like I just absorbed the coffee
bag. Yeah, great.
Yeah, of course. Awesome.
Great. Well, he leads you to the the

(01:18:28):
table there in the back and sitsaround and you guys sit at the
table like man, it's great to just get the crew back.
What and what have you all been up to is Everyone looks pretty
good I think. Oh, Antonia here's heart's been
broken, but she's been doing research to fill the void.

(01:18:50):
I've been doing some research into varietals of rum here on
the island and do a wonderful job on that.
I haven't had a chance to hear what old Ed's been up to, but
he's got a new pair of pants. You know, you know, sailing some
fighting again. Classic Ed.
Yeah, more sailing, more fighting.

(01:19:11):
Yeah, I've been staying away from gunpowder barrels and
grease. Good.
Yeah, doing great. How are you guys, Antonia?
Sorry, I'm sorry to hear. You meant, you said the rum.
I Yeah, the rum has been fun to,like, taste.
I drink some of it, you know, I particularly like, you know, the
strawberry rum, the Raspberry rum, the cereal.

(01:19:36):
Have you tried the pineapple rum?
I've not tried the pineapple rumthat's.
A good one I didn't. See any pineapple people around?
But yeah, the milk rum's pretty bad though.
That's pretty bad. Yeah.
This is the cheapest. Yeah.
I can't. I can't drink that.
I can't drink that. Yeah.
No. How have you been soft?

(01:19:57):
Oh yeah. Just say they got the milk rum
here. Yeah, they got milk rum, Yeah.
And SOG jumps off and she goes over to the bar.
Excellent. SOG likes the milk room.
Yes, she. Likes the milk room?
Milk. Yeah.
And it's like she's always a. Little bit moist but.

(01:20:19):
Your your character is dripping with milk.
She's also just a little bit moist with milk.
Snap, crackle, pop and. Sog So does that mean like when
she hugs somebody she. Gets milk on that must be like.
A little. For sure, yeah, just just a

(01:20:39):
little layer I'm. Just checking you.
Could describe her as a sweaty hugger I guess is how somebody
could do. That.
Very sweaty. Wow, you.
Got General Mills? With the drops that goat.
You are never letting that go. Wow.
SOG you get you get a glass of you get a.
Glass of rum, could you make it too?

(01:21:00):
I get, I get a big, I get a big bottle of of or a big like mug
of milk rum for everyone. I'm just kind of like holding in
my arms. So.
Great. Like I'm setting down like.
Everyone. Oh oh SOG, you didn't.
Need to do this. I got you on the next one.
I got you on the next one. Please, please.
He always says that I'm kind. Of just like he goes to town on

(01:21:21):
that. The the, the bartender who is
this huge waffle man, like thudsover you forgot your straws and
he like puts a bunch of straws into the the big bucket so you
guys can like sip out of it likea big tiki drink.
And then he walks away, walks behind the bar again.

(01:21:42):
So how's, how are you, Antonio? Kind of bad.
Generally, yeah. I mean, I'm just trying to not
think about, you know, everything.
And I'm just trying to, you know, focus on my relic
research. It's been going pretty good.
You know, the books here are kind of bad, but I'm doing the
best I can, and I'm just trying not to think about everything
that's happening. And now apparently, we're back

(01:22:05):
together. So that's nice to see you guys.
It's nice to see you guys, Yeah.You lost me but book at books.
But yeah, that's. Great.
That's OK. I mean maybe Ilario got his own
letter apparently. Just show up and meet us here
and you 2 can be reconnected. I mean, that would be so nice to
see him again, but I don't know.I mean, I, I went home and he
wasn't there and I, I have no idea.

(01:22:27):
He just disappeared one night. And I mean, I thought we were in
love, but I guess that. Was wrong.
Put a pat her on the back a little, yes.
I'm going to, I'm going to give him a big.
Hug you guys. It just gives you the hug too.
I don't know if you guys join inif you guys want there's like a

(01:22:48):
a group hug going on. It's been.
Really. It's been, really.
Hard it's been, it's been hard on me without the crew as well.
I couldn't understand. Where you are and as you guys
like, release the hug. Yes, it's been pretty tough
without y'all. And one spoon leg was suddenly a

(01:23:10):
part of that hug as well. Oh, I, I grabbed, I grabbed the
pirate ship out of Jimmy Long John's hands and I'm like, we
got you this surprise. Oh, you guys didn't have to do
that. My birthday was four days ago.
Come on now. But oh, this is a beautiful.
This is beautiful. This will be wonderful in the
cabin. Excellent.

(01:23:30):
Thank you all. I clap Jimmy on the back and say
thanks for picking that up buddy.
No. Problem.
Man, yeah. It's great to have everybody
around. It's great to let's sit down,
everyone sit down and you guys sit down at this table, the
chaos of the Tavern still happening around you.
Lots of going on, but Captain Spoon Leg leans in.

(01:23:52):
When last we met, we found a grand chest of treasure in that
stash, a box we found with an unmarked map that depicted on
the back. After we made port, I stowed
away on a banana fruit freight headed for Pancakia to visit the
library of granola at the Great Syrup Falls to see what I could
find out about this here map. It was there that I realized I

(01:24:16):
couldn't read, and so I hopped aboard.
And so I hopped aboard a syrup tanker.
Disguised as a little crepe. Boy and I went to the University
of Nutritata and Strudel City where I enrolled.
They advertised A4 year course for reading.

(01:24:37):
But your old captain? Did it in three.
And 1/2 It was then that I returned.
To the library of granula and learned.
And learned that there's more than meets the eye to this map.
Now tell me, have you ever heardof the great prize and honor on
Hado? Starts speaking.

(01:24:59):
I'm amigo, the great prize that fell from the sky 200 years ago,
that fell off far into the milk.It was said that every man and
woman who could row a boat sailed the sea that.
Day to. Be the one to find it.
But not only, but only one of them did.
Aye, the prize drew many out to sea, but they were too late, for

(01:25:22):
a young pirate captain was already in the milk.
A pirate captain sailing aboard a ship called the Crunchitizer.
He found the prize, or so it wasassumed, because after that day
he never lost another battle. He would go on to accrue a
pirate fleet of over 400 vessels.
And. Amass such a great amount of

(01:25:43):
wealth that it rivalled that of a king.
You see, after that day, CaptainBerry Beard began his golden
voyage. What do you know about Captain
Berry Beard? Yeah, you're talking.
About the. Captain Berry Beard, right?

(01:26:03):
The most notorious pirate captain of all time.
The man who wrote the pirate code and started what historians
are calling the Golden Age of Piracy.
The man we as all aspire to be. That Captain Berry beard.
I lad. That Captain Berry Beard.
Aboard his legendary ship, the Crunchytizer.

(01:26:25):
Captain Barry Beard owned the four milks.
He was feared, but just as much he was respected.
And then eventually he died. Or retired.
Maybe became a hermit up in the mountains of Frostica.
Nobody quite knows. But after he died, the rumors.
Went. Wild that his treasure hoard was

(01:26:46):
out there and pirates of all kinds set sail to try and find
it. The treasure, however, was never
found and year after year peoplebegan to question that maybe the
treasure never existed. Yeah, it's been speculated that
the rumor. Of the treasure.
Was. Perhaps actually created by the

(01:27:08):
monarchs and merchant Lords of the day to distract pirates away
from attacking their ships, instead putting them on a
foolhardy quest to find an imaginary horde.
But that's just a theory. I I don't really like the.
Theory, but that's. Theory I just a theory.
Indeed a theory that does hold some weight though considering.

(01:27:30):
There was never a. Map that was found to old
Captain Barry Beard's treasure, and in the pirate code he wrote
himself it states that a true pirate buries his treasure and
provides a map so it'll never belost forever.
Now lad, I'm a bit parched. Can you hand me that glass of
milk there? Oh, sure, here you.
Go. Thanks lad.

(01:27:50):
Oh, milk rum, right? Thanks.
He doesn't need a glass just so we.
Hand him a. Straw, right?
We're sharing a Yeah, I'll do. A straw.
Yes, what? Questions do.
You have so. Far, and he's taking taking some
more. Drinks.
You're saying this is the map? I I.

(01:28:11):
Believe it is. You see?
Barry Beard was well known for his disdain of monarchs and
merchant Lords, and what I foundat the library was a quote of
his that I hadn't heard before, something that made me think
maybe this was the map. Profit for the sake of profit
alone is no profit at all. The riches.
Of the world belong to those wholove.
It who love the way of the sea. And that's when I realized it.

(01:28:37):
My small. Cornflake.
Brain sparked an idea. If I were to make a map, a map
meant only for a pirate to have for someone who loved the sea,
why would I make it dry? And he takes the bowl.
Of milk. Rum and tosses it throws this
milk that splashes on the box. Captain Sog split her hard

(01:28:59):
earned money on milk rum. Oh no, you don't want to damage
SOG. I'll get you another.
One I'll get you. Another one SOG, don't worry.
Yeah. I'll pay you back, don't worry.
He gives. He throws a couple.
Gold extra sog. Some gold flakes, but as the
milk runs off the cover of the map, revealing itself an
invisible ink. A large bicorn hat symbol with a

(01:29:23):
bee on it shows up on this map. The Insignia of Captain Berry
Beard. Whoa.
The map to. Captain Berry Beard's treasure,
and we're the. Only ones who know about it, I'm
in. We're.
We're well, of course. We're all in Ed What?

(01:29:44):
Do I believe yeah and Antonia isa.
Cartographer. And so she is like.
Absolutely. Like, frothy about this whole
thing. She's like, this is like right
up her alley, Yeah. Frothy like the milk.
She's foaming for adventure on this.
One, this is her. Her.
Thing you. Look at the map and it the the
kind of invisible image. Of that bicorn hat with a bee on

(01:30:06):
it kind of goes away. And there's still nothing on the
map itself. It's just the picture of
Ceramica. Well.
Where does it lead? Where's the?
Is it actually? A map?
Well, that's something I'll reveal when we're back on the
boat now. Seems like we're all in

(01:30:27):
agreement. Agreement.
Shall we dig up old Barry Beard's treasure?
Well, of course. Aye, aye, Captain.
I'm in, yes. I'm in.
Oh yes. You just see gold flakes.
In. In Ed's eyes, Wow.
Yeah, I mean. Well, I, yeah, I, I, I too.

(01:30:49):
I just, I can't believe it man. The last couple crews on were
like they were total busts man. I just kept wishing that we were
all back together. And now, now.
And he puts his hand on the magic conch in just the wrong
way. We have the map to Berry Beard's
treasure, and we're the only ones who know about it.

(01:31:10):
Wow. And the entire Tavern goes
silent. And everyone.
Is looking in your direction guys at the table next?
To you, there's a shuffle. As a group of pirates take off.
Their beards, hats and cloak. Disguises revealing pollen folk,
bee people wearing yellow jackets, the uniform of the

(01:31:32):
Honey Nut Trading Company. They draw their pistols,
stepping. Forward is a.
Pollen folk with mini. Commendations pinned to his
jacket. Well, well, well, it seems that
Captain's spoon leg. Was onto something.
After all, hello, Pirates. My name is Commodore Bezelton,
and I represent the Honey Nut Trading Company.

(01:31:55):
I represent it in its entirety, including full authority as
granted by the Queen. I'll be taking that map to Berry
Beard's treasure if you would sokindly hand it over.
Unless, of course, you want the full wrath of the company on
your case. And Captain Spoonlake, who's
holding the box? Looks kind of.

(01:32:16):
Next to you guys and looks back.Aye, it seems we've been bested.
Here you go. And he tosses the box to him.
That was easier than expected. Wait, but.
But don't we? Don't we need that?
Thank you for your compliance. We'll be on our.
Way, then Cheerio. And he turns to.
Leave only to face the entire Tavern of pirates standing in

(01:32:40):
his way. I don't mind them, Commodore,
just say that bit a bit bit again about having the only map
in existence to Captain Barry Beard's treasure.
Oh, and make sure to mention that part about being the
Queen's little bitch boy as well.
And a big wheat and a big wheat flake.
This big wheat flake steps up. With a baseball bat in.
Its hand and Bezelton. Just looks up and Tim says oh

(01:33:01):
shit and immediately gets tackled by 10 pirates.
The bar erupts into this massivebrawl.
Guns are firing, bottle smashingon heads as everyone's trying to
get to the map above the crowd. The map, The box map pops into
the air, flies into the air. Everyone roll initiative.
Yes, gay. You know what they say about

(01:33:27):
everybody who opposed Captain Barry Beard, right?
Oops, all buried. God damn it, no.
I think. That's going to be.
More. Weeks of this.
I think that's. Going to be cannon.
Amazing. OK, let's.

(01:33:48):
Go through. Initiative General Milford
Mills, 22, and Espresso. 11. SOG Crispy, 1919.
Antonia Infiocho. 10. Excellent as this.

(01:34:09):
Box flies. Up into the air.
There is this like tower of grape pirates that are like
climbing on top of each other and they're like there's like 6
of them standing up. They like it falls down, they
reach over and the top one picksit up and has it in its hand and
raises up in the sky. I got it.
I got the, I got the map. General Milford Mills, you are

(01:34:30):
up first. They.
Are 20 feet away from you. It is difficult terrain as it's
just mass chaos happening in here.
OK, well. 20 feet away, difficult terrain I need. 40
feet of movement? Then why don't I bonus?
Action dash to get to the map with excellent my rogue skills.

(01:34:54):
They are holding on to it the the grape kind of grape tower.
The top one that are they're just on each other's shoulders
holding on to the box map. Oh shit, what kind of check
would I need to make to just tryto?
Snatch it from. Them that would be a grapple,
that would be an opposed grapplecheck.
So that would be. Your athletics versus their

(01:35:18):
strength or dexterity. Boy be your, be your.
Yeah, boy, my. Strength in.
Athletics are awful. So maybe I should wreck?
Con and I don't bonus action bash up to them and instead I'd
like to bonus action set myself in place and whip out the musket
and fire at them because if I hit them it will apply slow and

(01:35:41):
take 10 feet of their movement away for somebody else to catch
them. So that is what I will do.
As a reminder. As a reminder, any extra piratey
stuff that? You guys do is a chance to earn
this these flourish points, which are basically like
inspirations that I can give outfor piratey stuff.
This campaign. Usually we don't I don't do

(01:36:02):
inspiration like at all, but this is a a way to do it for
this. So, OK, OK, that's not going to
affect me right now. I don't.
Have a cool. Idea so we're going to just.
Do a normal idea. Oh gosh, that's pretty terrible.
A 17 to hit. 17 will hit. And that will be oh.

(01:36:24):
OK. So he'll be slowed and.
I also will do the same thing I did before to take a one of my
sneak attack dice away, except this time I'm going to make it a
trip shot. So he has to make a dexterity
saving throw or be knocked prone.
Awesome. He has disadvantage because he's
on top of the tower for a. Dexterity saving throw so Oh

(01:36:46):
yeah, cool. So you so you said dexterity
saving throw for Yes, 15 dexterity saving throw or be
knocked prone. Should we do a Tavern roll for
this for fun? Let's do it.
Let's. Do it Tavern roll.
Tavern roll. OK, disadvantage this.
Pirate is. Dexterous has a + 5 to a

(01:37:07):
Dexterity saving throw, but he has this advantage, so I'll roll
two of these. And what is he trying to hit?
1515? So he's got to hit a 10?
Yep, first one is a. 6 Yep. That's it and A2 and A2.
All right. Hey, Blam, you've go ahead, go

(01:37:29):
ahead. I was just.
Going to say he takes. 15 pointsof damage from the.
Shot as I as mill one just goes from being kind of a shaky drunk
to steadies instantly and just fires off and knocks him off of
the tower. I'm hand on map you bastard and
and he like falls and the the map like falls.

(01:37:50):
With him, he loses control of itand the map is somewhere in that
pile. Now.
Anything else for your turn? That will be all for my turn.
OK, SOG. You're up.
The map can I do always see the?Map at all.
You don't see the map 'cause it just.
Fell into the massive like pile.Of pirates around you saw

(01:38:12):
Milford General Mills has fired off and taken out the top of
this grape tower and the grape fell throwing the map in the air
and it fell kind of down where he's at that's 20 feet away of
difficult terrain OK, I'm. I think I'm going to.

(01:38:33):
Cast Enlarge on myself. OK, excellent.
So I become a large creature. And I'm gonna start.
Scooping. In there and trying to like make
my way into this pile to see. If I can find the map.
OK, excellent SOG. What does it look like when you?
Enlarge or use the the the enlarge spell sog becomes this

(01:39:00):
like. Almost looks like a like.
A ogre esque like Rice Krispie character.
Very big, very fat, very unwieldy.
Are you like an individual crispy or a?
Treat I am not made out of rice crispy.

(01:39:20):
But I am a my. It's like.
A race of creatures I see. I just was curious because I'm
picturing like and see when whena crispy.
That is soggy and sits in cerealtoo long and gets like extra
pump. Yeah, you've absorbed so much
milk that you've just the the bowl that has spilled that that
Berry beard through the bowl of that.

(01:39:41):
Rum the the milk rum like you just absorb it and grow to this
big size sog. You're huge.
Give me. So give.
Me an athletics or acrobatics then as you are going to try and
like sift through get through this crowd to get to the box

(01:40:02):
1919 yeah that will do it something well.
Tonight. Do you get a bonus on those with
the enlarged spell? I'm not sure you get.
Advantage on strength checks when you cast enlarge on
yourself. Oh cool, was that advantage
that? Was just straight go ahead and
roll advantage. See.
If you get in like a net 20 or get.

(01:40:23):
Get even higher. I did not OK.
SOG you guys see SOG in? Large soak up all the milk rum
around and just become this hugethis huge being and just start
pushing people out of the way and you are able to get through
this difficult terrain and reachdown and you and you can see the
box on the ground. Can I can I bonus action grab?

(01:40:48):
The box. Oh, you can just pick it up.
Yeah, you can just pick it up. Yeah, I'm gonna.
So it's like an object. Interact.
Object interaction? Cool.
Anything else for your turn? That is it, although.
Any object I'm carrying. Changes size with me.
So did that just make the box? Oh, I think when you cast.

(01:41:14):
It so. Not yeah, the box is normal.
So it's still, it's still small.Excellent.
Take a flourish. Point for that.
'Cause that's rad and OK. And so SOG has the box in her
hand surrounded by pirates this huge, this that huge.

(01:41:36):
Like weedy pirate with that baseball bat walks up to Sog.
He's looking up at Sog now, because Sog is huge, is large,
but he is going to take that club and he is going to try and
beat it out of your hand and roll for this.
I think that's. Going to miss. 12 to hit, that's

(01:41:58):
a mess. Misses with that 10.
Yeah. If it wait.
No, I am a 12 set hits, yeah. But do I because but if because
I'm enlarged, does my armor class change?
I don't think so. It does not OK all the enlarge
will. Do is advantage on the checks up
in size? And then an extra D. 4 on attack

(01:42:18):
rolls I believe. OK, you take 22.
Points of bludgeoning damage from that.
Hit Bam. Geez, but you are able to hold
on to the. Hold on to the.
Box wet Milky thud. When that thing hits urge I just
spray out in. The front just all over.

(01:42:43):
You. Hear A.
Voice from the across the bar. Hey Sog, why don't you throw
that box over here? I'll keep it safe.
And you all see bloody. Mary standing in the edge of the
bar, and she's using her bonus action Captain's charm.
I need you to make a Charisma ora Wisdom saving throw.

(01:43:04):
Oh no, you can do this. I believe in.
You sog. Can I use a finesse point on
that? The the flourish.
Point you can use it. In as a reaction, if you yeah,
basically a 10 the that that will not save you.

(01:43:28):
So the the flourish point will not save you there even if she
has two of them because they stack.
You said, oh, she has at least. Two, would you like to expend
more than one? I would, yes.
You have 3 if. Three, one from the first
episode, I don't know if we're holding on to.
Those that one. It's been five years since that

(01:43:48):
one. Then 2.
So yeah, it'll be two if you would like to expend. 2 The DC.
Is 14 and you will save on that.Okay, 24 points.
Excellent. For a second you want to toss it
to Bloody Mary and then realize,oh, this is Bloody Mary, this is
the person we marooned and you hold on to it and and she is not

(01:44:11):
able to. Yeah, convince you.
That brings us to Ed's turn. You are up.
OK, I see. Bloody Mary.
And I know I like, I want to attack her, but I think I think
the smarter thing to do is, is there a how close am I to Bloody
Mary? And is there a loose floorboard

(01:44:33):
around? There are absolutely hundreds of
loose floorboards in this. Tavern.
OK, OK, what was the other thingyou asked?
Was the. How far away is she?
From me Bloody Mary, she's like 60 feet.
Away she's she's like the 60 feet away bar.
Yeah. OK, then I'm not going to do

(01:44:53):
what I was going to do. I'm.
Going to yeah, I'm going to use shape brew to make a replica of
the map and toss it in. A direction like in the
opposite. Direction of where?
Sag is excellent. What is that?
That's what. Spell is that so that is it's

(01:45:16):
it's shaped water, but it's a trans.
It's shaped brew, it's transmutation.
I can cast it at well, I can choose an area of water or I
guess myself. Can I do that or any of the
liquid OK that? Is going to be.
Pretty obvious. To a lot of people who are

(01:45:36):
paying attention, but go ahead and give me a give me, just give
me a persuasion roll. On this persuasion roll, this is
incredibly difficult. OK, let's see here.
OK, so. That was a four.
I have a + 1 to persuasion. But I'm going to use tactical.

(01:46:01):
Mind. To.
Expend a second. Wind and instead of regaining
HP, I'm going to roll AD 10 to add to the result of the ability
check. So that was a six.
So it's 11. 11. 11 still will fail as you cast.
This like shape water trying to make it box form, you say here's

(01:46:24):
the here it is the map and you throw it and it and you throw it
and you throw it directly into the the big waffle bar bartender
who's right there. And it just splashes on him as
he looks down, turns around and looks at you and takes out just
raises his first up in the air like he's gonna sock you.
What else would you like to do on your turn?

(01:46:46):
I would like to move away from that bar today.
And closer to SOG if I. If I can get more.
Into that fray. He's going to just to help out
where I can. He's going to get an
opportunity. Attack on you OK, and that will
be? 20. 4 to hit.

(01:47:06):
That definitely hits you take. 28.
Points of bludgeoning. Damage from the bar.
This massive bartender that justsocks you into the in the gut.
All right, fair enough. Fair play.
So you can move away. From him, you've used your
action. And your movement, I think that

(01:47:26):
that if and your bonus action. So I think that is your turn.
That's me. Yeah.
Excellent. Antonia, you're up.
Antonia all. Right, so we have a whole bunch
of rowdy. Pirates in the in the in the in
this place. How big?
How big is the Tavern? Like 60 feet away is basically

(01:47:48):
the end. Of the Tavern the end of the.
Tavern and that's what 1 is OK and then we.
Have a whole bunch of other Pirates and then Ed is kind of
like in the middle. Ed and soccer kind of in the
middle, yeah. Were you trying?
Did you try to get all the way to SOG?
Is that what you would have? Tried to do, Dan, yes, that's
what I would have tried to do. OK.

(01:48:10):
And your movements be just. 30 So you would have.
Been able to get with the difficult terrain, you would
have been able to get 15 feet, 15 feet closer, closer, OK.
Let's see, I'm gonna actually, Iwant to.
Try to Can I cast sleep on Bloody Mary?

(01:48:30):
You can't. Yeah, you can.
OK, I'm going to try that as. Long as she's in range, I.
Think that is it's a 60. Feet range, so I think it
should. Just be enough.
And that is a 14 Wisdom saving OK, what it is now?
If she feels she's. Incapacitated concentration to

(01:48:51):
one minute. I was going.
To. Say that's so different from
how? It used to be.
It's just a simple saving throw.That's a, it's a, it's a tax
saving throw. Wisdom 14 is what it says, Yeah.
It just used to be you had to like roll a bunch of dice and
match their amount. Of health and if you didn't but
it don't work. It was like it was so stupid

(01:49:11):
before. So confusing.
As long as she's not immune to sleep.
Like if she's a creature that can fall asleep I guess.
That's gonna be a Tavern. Roll.
That's what we're gonna do for this.
So wisdom saving throw, she getsa + 5 to wisdom saving throws.
So she needs to hit a 14. So she needs to needs to hit a
nine on this dice. Here we go.

(01:49:33):
Roll Kyle, roll 7. You cast Sleep.
This. Frosty.
Effect this cold effect. Wisps.
Across the room I'm gonna get get y'all.
Oh. Damn it, then, she.
Falls and just collapses, goes to sleep and she is out of it.

(01:49:56):
What else would you like to do for your turn?
I'm good. I'm good.
I'm I'm good. Thank you.
That's excellent. Yeah, plenty.
Mary's out and she. Isn't incapacitated till the
next your end of your next turn and then where she must repeat
the save and then yeah, if she fails again then she's out for a
full minute, which is a concentration spell for a

(01:50:18):
minute. OK, so you're concentrated.
Yes. I have to do concentration
saving right? If I get attacked?
Yep. OK.
That brings us to the bottom of the initiative.
There's a lot of chaos happeningin the battle.
Lots of people moving around. And suddenly standing next to
you SOG is Commodore Bezelton, who's used as disengage to move

(01:50:39):
up to a speed to get to where you're at to avoid any of this.
Just the massive amounts of of attacks kind of going his way as
most of the pirates were attacking the bee people.
He gets up to you and he is going to stab at you with his
scimitar, brings it out for a 19to hit.

(01:51:01):
That sure does. And that is 17.
Points of slashing damage. Plus seven points of poison
damage. I'm down.
You are down. OK.
You are. Let's see.

(01:51:22):
You are. Supposed to take.
It of another attack. Another effect here.
So you are down and poisoned andBezelton grabs the box from your
hand as you are unconscious. Captain spoon leg.
You see that he moves very quickly, very quickly with his
spoon leg. Somehow this man is sneaky and

(01:51:43):
moves fast with one giant spoon for a leg.
But you just catch a glimpse of him darting through and arrives
right next to Commodore Bezeltonand he is going to make some
attacks against him. First one will hit with his
rapier, second will hit, third will not hit actually.

(01:52:05):
Maybe third wheel hit? Hold on 3rd.
Wheel hit 'cause. He gets advantage once he hits.
Yep, you see cabin spoon like dart.
Through and. Engage Bezelton takes out his
rapier, does 45 points of slashing damage with his rapier
or piercing damage Ting Ting Ting and stabs at Bezelton, kind

(01:52:27):
of taking him on and he is engaged with Bezelton who has
one hand on the box Currently SOG is down.
Jimmy Long John you see runs up and kind of uses a dash action
to get up close to SOG as you are down and he is standing over

(01:52:52):
you. That's all he could do on his
turn. We are back up as Antonio or not
Antonio. Antonio is engaged.
He is going to see SAAG go down and leap into action as well.
He can only make it to Bezelton with a dash.

(01:53:14):
So that's what he does. He tries to get to Bezelton,
gets into range with Bezelton and that's all he does for his
turn. We are back up to the top Mills.
General Mills, you are up. OK, Lay, lay it.
Lay out what's in front of me all again.
There's there's a. Lot You just saw a lot happen so
you saw a song go out and. Pick up the box, have it in her

(01:53:36):
hand, and then she gets taken down by Commodore Bezelton, who
gets up in there and stabs at her and takes her down.
She's down. He has the box in her hand.
Spoon Leg is in combat with him.All this chaos is happening
around the bar. Bottles are getting thrown, Guns
are sort of firing off in different directions.
I made a bartender wet. A man walks in front of you with

(01:54:00):
a barrel. Over him and he's just trying
to. Stumble and get out of the way
in this in this mass chaos of this bar.
And that's what you see. You see, Jimmy, Long John has
gone gone up to try and check onSog.
Anuran Hado is engaged with Bezelton as well.
OK, what would you like to do? Does Bezelton look strong?

(01:54:24):
Roll a Perception. Check.
We're an investigation. I would be there, yeah.
Perception for. This.
That's perfectly fine. That's an 8.
So I don't know how he looks. I'm just going to.
Have to go with my gut and by marshmallowy gut.

(01:54:45):
Exactly. By go with my gut, I mean I
reach into my gut and pull. Out my big.
Wad of marshmallow goop and roots, my iron bands of Valario
and I reel back and I fucking Chuck it at him.
All right, so I have to make a ranged attack roll at him first
of all. Please.

(01:55:06):
Don't suck. I doesn't sound good.
Hold on. I'm.
Just looking at, I'm looking at all my abilities real.
Quick. Yeah, I guess I will not be
taking any movement so that I can say I steadied my aim on
this throw so that it has a chance of hitting Fuck.

(01:55:30):
OK, that will probably hit him. That's a 22 To hit 22, you
launch the glob and it hits him and it.
Just starts to form all around him this goopy marshmallowy.
Melty mess and blocks him into place and he now has the
restrained condition until I take a bonus action or until he
makes ADC 20 strength check to break free.

(01:55:54):
Incredible. You've launched that, that
marshmallow glob. You see him look at it.
And he like moves his wings, youknow, starts to try and like fly
out of the way. He almost gets out of the way of
this and then it just hits him and it goos up his wings and he
goes down to 1 knee and and the box is you know, in his hand but
he's restrained. Anything else for your turn?

(01:56:17):
I can't move and I had to use mybonus action to hit him, so no.
I can't do anything else unfortunately.
I pray for SOG a little bit. SOG give me a.
Death saving throw. 12. 12 That's a success.

(01:56:38):
So Bezelton is down. One of the.
Grapes, who had pop fallen onto the ground, scrambles around the
one that got hit, kind of looks around and finds the box in
Bezelton's arms and takes it away from him and starts to run
and gets 20 feet towards the door or 15 feet towards the

(01:56:59):
door. Bloody Mary is asleep.
She's going to try and make a saving a Wisdom saving throw to
wake up. She rolls a natural 19 and she.
Wakes up. I think it's at her the end of
her turn. My guess, yes you have to make
the save at the end of her turn so that would end to wake her up

(01:57:20):
so you. See Bloody Mary wake up and
start to get up. But she's not getting up yet
because she's prone, because it's the end of her turn.
She can't use her movement. And Bezelton's turn, he can make
a strength check correct to get out of this DC 20.
That's a Tavern rule. And if he succeeds, my magic

(01:57:40):
item is. Gone.
Forever. OK, Bezelton.
Bezelton has a. Strength.
Is this just a strength check orit's not a saving throw?
It says no, it's ADC 20 strengthathletics check.
So an athletics. OK, his strength is +2.
So. He needs to hit an 18.

(01:58:02):
No way. Come on.
He won't. He won't.
Here he goes. That's a 12.
Hell yeah. And now?
He cannot try again for 24. Hours.
He has firmly restrained as he like uses all of his might to.
Get the out of the marshmallow goop it it like makes it the
issue so much worse as he's flapping his wings and it's just

(01:58:24):
getting everywhere and he is totally restrained on the
ground. He is out of the combat at this
point. That is his turn more mass chaos
as some of the pirates. The bartender is now trying to
break up a, a, a couple people. There's a a crumbie and a man
just completely made out of crumbs that he's that is in

(01:58:44):
combat with an orchard Ling, an apple person and just the the
the bartender's just like pushing them away with his big
waffle arms. Ed Espresso, you are up.
Is there a Is there a chandeliernear me?
Can I make? Our hanging lights.
Yep. OK, Can I?
Can I make it to the chandelier with 15 feet of movement?

(01:59:07):
Yeah, you can jump up and swing on one if you want, Absolutely.
I want to do that and I want to try to tackle the grape that
has. Box if I can excellent that give
me an athletics or acrobatics asyou're going to swing from the.
Chandelier, I'm going to do an athletics check.
But I'm going to expend a luck point to give myself advantage

(01:59:28):
on this. Do it, baby.
You got this. That is a 19. +7 for my.
Athletics so that puts me at 2626 amazing you leap up and.
There is, there is a like like small grape nuchin up there.

(01:59:57):
Like there's this small like crusty grape nut who's been like
hanging on like on top of the ontop of the chandelier trying to
like dive down to try and get onto the map.
You reach up, grab onto the chandelier, swing around.
You guys see him. You see Espresso swing around
running, kind of like dragging on some of the heads as he's
spinning around on the chandelier and launches toward

(02:00:19):
the the grape person on the ground.
And successfully with the 26, tackle him to the ground and he
is grappled by you, by that. Wow, perfect.
Ed's really raising hell with that grape.
And that's a forest point if I've.
Ever heard one? So I had to make one worst
point. Thank you.
Thank you very much, beautiful. I.

(02:00:42):
Guess with that so he's. Grappled.
Do I get a bonus action? That was so that was really.
Just your flourish movement right there.
That was such a that's a a lot that you got from that.
But you have your turn essentially to use oh, my turn.
Oh, OK. I'm gonna unarm strike him.

(02:01:05):
OK, I will say since he's like grappled by you and pinned down
because you. Tackled him if you.
Hit on this roll, he's gonna drop the he's gonna drop the the
box. OK, he's going to drop the box
because that was an 18 on the die +7.
So that puts it at 25. He's dropping the box.
Yeah, he's tackled. I got the box and then gets

(02:01:25):
tackled by you. Ow.
And. You punch his hand and he drops
the box and you just get a little take five points of
damage, five points. Of damage, Great.
Juice the bastard Ed, I'm trying.
My best. Great.
And you can pick up the box. OK.
I grabbed the box. How much more movement do I

(02:01:48):
have? That's going to be all of your
movement and so you are there with that.
Swinging effect, you were able to get pretty far to be able to
to tackle him. So you're you're out of your
movement. OK, so do I, so I do or do not
get a bonus action? You have bonus action, Yeah.
OK, how was I'm going to take? What'd you say?

(02:02:10):
Couldn't you? Still hit him again because you
only punched. Once but you.
Get 2 attacks. As a final oh I could.
Yeah, I'm, I'm going to call it at.
That because he's just a little grape guy.
So like, yeah, he's just a little grape guy.
Create. Some grape.
Juice. Yeah, pulverized grape guy.

(02:02:32):
Now score. Did you see?
Aaron Hado from the side. I'm.
Gonna I'm gonna second wind then.
And that will heal. Me one D10. +5 and then with
second wind technical shift I'm able to move half my speed

(02:02:57):
without provoking opportunity attacks, so I'm going to move 15
feet trying to get out the door.OK, great, let me map this out
real quick so we can. So I can tell you how close you
are to the door, Ed, as you swung across the chandelier,
tackled the great man, picked upthe box and got 15 feet of extra

(02:03:19):
movement. There you are now, 10 feet from
the door. You're also 10 feet from Bloody
Mary, who is standing up off to your left.
Antonia is Saug is down. Antonia, it is your turn.
Make her sleep again. You just shout over the den.

(02:03:42):
So Antonia is like just. Like this is not her her vibe.
At all if it's noisy and scary and, you know, Piratey and she's
just like, Oh my God. And also SOG is down, which is a
problem. So she's gonna try to get to
Sog, and that's 15 feet away, correct?
Yep. 15 feet. And that is?

(02:04:06):
Yeah, we'll say. Yeah, she's 15 feet away.
That is difficult. Terrain.
Difficult terrain, yes. OK, so I have 30 feet.
Speed so you can. Yeah, just.
Get there. I can just get there, so I'm
going to. Use.
I don't have any healing spells,but I.
Do have a healer's kit in my inventory, so I'm going to use

(02:04:27):
that which should stabilize yeah, the I think the let me see
the cause the new. Rules like actually.
Have things for these things, I think, yes.
I think that there might be likesome kind of wisdom.
Well this says it doesn't need awisdom check, but I don't I I
like was reading something else that says it.

(02:04:49):
A healer's kit has 10 uses at. A as a utilize action you can
expend. One of its uses to stabilize an
unconscious creature that has zero hit points without needing
to make a wisdom medicine check.That's what it says in in DND
Beyond. Yeah, Excellent.
Perfect. So I would.
Like to do that I would like to go over to SOG.

(02:05:09):
And like you. Know just be like try to help
her excellent you take the healer's kit out and she got.
Stabbed by Bezelton and you're able to quickly patch that up
and stabilize her so she's at zero hit points.
Zero hit points, but she doesn'thave to do the death saving
throw. Which?
Checks anymore? Yeah.

(02:05:30):
And she is now reduced. She's her normal size, I don't
think you said. That earlier, but when she went
down, concentration broke and she's great, OK.
Normal size just. All that milk rum.
Just squeezed. Right out on.
The ground I'm just lying in a pile of raw milk just.
Like yeah, and. And Antonio?
'S like lactose intolerant. It's just like a little.

(02:05:52):
Like grossed out by all the milk.
She's like, she like she like really wants to help her friend.
And so she's she's like try not to be grossed out.
She's a tabaxi and just like. Starts hacking.
Her hairballs. Hold that.
OK. Look at this look.
At this. OK, OK, excellent.

(02:06:14):
Saga's stable. Very good.
And anything that is the utilized action you took, you
have your movement, you have a bonus action if you would like
to use it. I don't believe I am going to.
OK. Captain Spoonleg.
You see him? After.

(02:06:34):
Looking, you know. Holding his rapier down at at at
Bezelton, who was on the ground just completely restrained,
looks up, sees Espresso do his move and move toward the door.
And he is going to attempt ADC 20 Dexterity check and let's see
if he can do this. What he does is he looks to a

(02:06:57):
table that has turned over and he wedges his spoon leg into the
bottom of it, leans back and pulls back on the spoon.
He's going to try and launch himself forward through the
Tavern sick and this is going. To be that.
This will be a Dexterity. Check this is going.
To be ADC 20. For him.

(02:07:20):
It's cocked. Oh misfires Only a 14 total.
Goes back and launches himself but but just totally like hits
the top of the table and spins and falls over and is prone.
He gets up and tries to move therest of his speed then doesn't

(02:07:41):
make it quite far, quite very far.
That is his turn and we have theothers on or on Hado.
He is going to kind of Sprint and run as far as he can.
He can't really make it very far.
You see him, you kind of lose him in the crowd as he's this

(02:08:02):
big orange guy trying to get through the crowd and get
through, unable to get very far.Kind of bumps into that guy
who's running around with a barrel on top.
Of his head. Just like, like hits into him
and bumps him a little bit. And then Jimmy Long John is over
SOG and he's just he's looking down.

(02:08:22):
You could see he was starting toget like bandages out.
He's like, oh man, good job, huh?
All right, We we got to get thisthing and he just starts
charging off and he like runs and he's like kind of like
trying to get through the crowd.Same thing as Anaran.
Hado doesn't really have the anyability to make it very far.
And that is their turn. We are back up to General

(02:08:45):
Milliam Mills. General Mills, you have Milford
General Milford Mills, the force, you have a reaction
ability. That you brought up that.
If you. Have any enemy that ends their
term within 5 feet of you? You get 15 feet of movement
speed without opportunity attacks.

(02:09:06):
That has absolutely happened in the past round where you could
have used that reaction before. Your turn is up now, and so you
can start your turn by getting that 15 feet of extra movement
speed because this whole Tavern is a brawl and all the people in
there are enemies basically. Excellent.
So does that get me to SOG? That gets you to SOG.
Great. And is picking up SOG.
Would you rule that as an object?

(02:09:27):
Interaction. That's an object interaction,
yes. Excellent.
So that means I am now 40. 5 feet from the.
Door. Yeah, correct.
All right, great. I'm going to bonus action dash.
Action dash and use my movement to get 90.
Feet of movement and move 45 feet through the difficult
terrain to carry sog to the door.

(02:09:48):
Amazing. You need to tell me how that
looks. I he's like.
He picks her up and. He's like sucking in his
marshmallow body like. And just weaseling through the
crowd, you know, like de puffingand puffing himself as he tries
to worm through every gap he canfind.
Your legs get, your legs get real skinny and your entire body
like. Pooches up really tall as you

(02:10:09):
like, weasel like walk through acouple people moving your
marshmallow body through the crowd of people with sog in your
arms. Sog's limp.
Body and amazing and you make itto the door.
Excellent. Anything else for your turn?
No, I mean that's literally everything I could possibly do.

(02:10:30):
So now that. That is it cool sog you are
stable. But you are.
Unconscious and so if you would like we'll, we'll do the rule
where if you roll a natural 20 on your on a death saving crow
that you regain one hit point. Here it is.

(02:10:52):
So you get 20. Go ahead and roll to see if you
come. On baby, that's a three.
You don't take your. Face said 20.
Though. Face said 20.
So you are still. Unconscious, there is a lot of.
Fighting happening around your hand is you are halfway out the

(02:11:18):
door. Milliam Milford Milford Milford
I should never have originally named this character MILF MILF
part of. The.
Problem. Part of the problem is one of my
freaking encounters. That I set up a.
While ago. Has.
Milliam written there and it's like the other one is Milford.
It's so annoying, so, so confusing my brain.

(02:11:38):
Milford Mills, General Mills. You're like halfway out the
door. Bloody Mary stands up, fully
awake, and she's going to attempt to use her.
Captain's charm you need. To give me a wisdom saving
throw. DC is 14 on this.
Got a big fat +0 to this so let's see me.

(02:12:06):
That was. Brutal.
It stopped on the 20 then shifted to A2.
So. It's going to be a fail.
Leaving so soon? Milford and.
You stop in your tracks. You're charmed by her.
Well, I suppose I could stay forone more drink.
And I Yeah. Stop where I'm at and she uses
her charm her wildly ways you know she's a just cherry.

(02:12:29):
Tomato person, you know, cherry tomato head and she's got this
like tight vest. She's, she's like, she's
gorgeous. Like, she's all of the sexiest
tomato I've ever seen. Oh my gosh.
Let's just put it this way. All of the all of the cherry
tomatoes. On her body are placed in
appropriate. Spots like.
OK, so all in her legs. They're all in the brownie

(02:12:54):
knees. She excellent.
So you are. Are.
Charmed by her right now and that is her action.
She's she's going to walk up to you.
You can't attack her. That's the charm condition.

(02:13:15):
I would never attack such a lovely creature as this one
here. And she has an advantage.
On any ability check check she makes to interact with you
socially, she's going to try to persuade you to to give her the
box here. That's not going to be easy

(02:13:39):
because you're just you're charmed, but it's not like
you're willing to give up the box.
You just stopped in her tracks to come back in.
So she's I'm going to say this is going to have to be ADC of 25
for her to make to hit this for you for you to actually give her
the box in this in this way. It's going to be really hard

(02:13:59):
since I don't have the box, but.Oh, you don't have the box?
Oh, never mind. OK, that is a song.
If you're interested, she's justas good as a box.
This is the box. Oh, you've got the box AD OK,
Yeah. So you're charmed.
She just charmed. The wrong person?
Yeah. Yeah, but you are blocking the

(02:14:20):
door. Revenge for Carl?
Man revenge. For Carl so.
She's showing you and she. Takes.
Out. Her.
Tomato. Per fermented tomato pistol and
aims it at you Ed and that is going to be a 18.

(02:14:42):
I'm going. Can I have her?
Roll with disadvantage using a lug point.
Yeah, you can. That was an 18 to hit so.
This is with disadvantage. That is a 17 to hits OK.
They both like the 17, still hitOK.

(02:15:04):
That is going to be. 17 points of acid.
Damage. That is her first shot with the
tomato. Pistol, her second one is going
to be. That is a. 15 to hit that that

(02:15:29):
would just. Hit can I have?
Can I use expend? Another luck.
Point my final luck. Point you can.
Do you have any flourish points?I do.
Have a flourish point? Well, actually, never mind.
That's your. Checks.
I was gonna say, can we subtractyour things?
Yeah, yeah. Never mind.
You can't. You can't do that.
Yeah, yeah. All right.
But yeah, you can do another luck.
Point to try to do a disadvantage.

(02:15:51):
That'll be my final luck. Point for the disadvantage on
that. That's a natural. 3 She misses
the second one. Fuck yeah.
OK, fire. Fire.
She has three attacks. She fires again.
Kyle, that that is. A 22 to hit that hits. 12 points
of acid damage that is down. Fuck.

(02:16:17):
Running. Sprinting.
Ahead, grabbing the box from thegreat.
Person. 10 feet from the door and you get taken down by by by
Bloody Mary's fermented tomato pistol.
Hit. Take that acid damage and you
are down on the ground. She's not used her movement or
her object interaction yet, so she walks up to you and picks up

(02:16:40):
the box as you are down. That's Bloody Mary's turn.
Ed, you are down. It is your turn.
Bezelton's on the ground. Bartenders busy Ed, you're on
the ground. Give me a death saving throw,
Right? That is a.

(02:17:01):
Three fail you. That is a failure, so you take
one. Failure.
Antonia, you are up. You are currently where you were
by SOG. SOG Ed is.
Wait, I'm sorry. Let me readjust here.
Yeah. He's 25 feet from you.

(02:17:22):
The door is 35 feet from you. OK, 25 and 35.
OK. And then?
The OK so. Bloody Mary is.
Right by Ed, yes, yeah. OK.
And then? Let's see, who else do we have?

(02:17:42):
SOG and no, sorry, SOG is right next to me.
No, I have Soggy. Oh, you have SOG.
You took SOG? OK.
SOG is out, almost out the door with all right.
I am going to. I'm going to.
Before this lovely creature drew.
My attention and stopped me fromwalking.
Out the door. So I am going to use.

(02:18:04):
My. Feeling agility OK, I can double
my speed into the end of my turn.
So I'm going to use all the movement that I have, which is I
guess it's 60 right, But it's but it's difficult terrain.
So it'd be 30. Yep.
And that gets me. I'm close.

(02:18:26):
I'm. Close, right?
I'm 25 feet away from. I'm like 5 feet from the door, 5
feet like in between. The door and like.
Yes, Yeah, OK, right. Yeah, because he's 25 feet away.
You can get yeah there all. Right, I am going to.
I want to let's cast a sleet storm.

(02:18:46):
That one is like I'm going to. I want to cast it directionally.
So it is a 40 foot. Cylinder so I want to basically
start it if I can start it like right where, if I can start it
right where Bloody Mary is like so I can cast it on her and

(02:19:08):
then. Directionally.
Back towards the rest of the Tavern, OK?
Yep. And that is?
Let's. See.
It says 14. Decks save it's areas heavily
obscured and exposed flames are doused.
The area is already difficult terrain so that doesn't matter,

(02:19:29):
but when the when a creature enters the cylinder for the
first time, they have to succeedin the deck saving or or have
are prone essentially. So OK, cool.
Let me see where I'm putting this effect.
Here to see who all it's affecting.
So you are putting it. On Bloody Mary, yes, like the
edge of it and then because the center center would be cast like

(02:19:51):
towards. The middle back of the Tavern,
If it's 60 feet, I can probably cover most of the Tavern.
Extending extending like that. Well, like a good portion of it.
For all the creatures that are. Like in that area, the 40 foot
cone, so good portion of pirate brawlers.

(02:20:11):
Yeah. So you to like cast the effect.
If you want. It to affect the most people
possible and not and hit it would hit bloody Mary and it
would hit Ed because he's on theground but he's he's out he's
already and then behind him you we've got like.
Captain. Spoonleg and the crew, yeah,

(02:20:32):
kind of closer to you. And it would it would affect you
in that range too. And I think that you would have
to make that safe as well if youwanted to be in that spot.
Well, actually, no, because you just dashed forward.
Sorry. It's not going to hit you at
all. Then it's going to hit everyone
behind you. So there we go.
OK, OK. OK.

(02:20:53):
Yeah. Because I I should be in.
Between the door. And.
And Bloody Mary and Ed right at at 30 versus 2535.
Incredible. In my head, that's how it works,
yeah. So you.
Dart through. Just jumping.
Kind of like moving, I picture you like a cat like, but you're
A to backseat. You're a full medium sized
creature, but you dart through and move and hop over the bar to

(02:21:16):
get where you're going and kind of slide across it to get out
and then cast sleet storm and all of a sudden this cold air
just fills the Tavern and the sleet just starts dropping and
wind moving everywhere. All these drunk pirates in the
Tavern just fall down. You know, like pretty much all
of them. They're not going to be able to
make this save sober. And most of them are drunk.

(02:21:37):
Even though it's early, it's pretty early in the morning
still. But hey, it's a breakfast town.
Everyone's just going out for breakfast.
It annihilates like the back half of this bar spoon leg is
going to save on this. So is Jimmy Long John.

(02:21:59):
And Anna? Monhato will will save on this.
It's ADC 14. Awesome.
DC-14. Yeah, so the whole crew, the
whole crew behind you saves. Bloody.
Mary however she is going to tryand make this.
She does have a + 7 to her Dexterity savings, so this will
be a Tavern roll. So she needs to hit A7, which

(02:22:25):
she does. That's 17.
On the dive, OK, it's. Worth a try, but.
She's. Slipping and sliding a little
bit. She's got the box in her.
Hand anything else for your turnand you are pretty close to her.
You're like 10 feet from her. Yes, yes.
And I don't, I have, I'm out of movement.
I use my action. I'm good.

(02:22:48):
OK, Spoon leg gets up and he sprints.
Forward it's like heavily heavily obscured now the whole
area is hard to see through. Everyone's basically blinded I
think in here. Heavily obscured.
Fuck heavily obscured. Exposed flames in the area.
Are doused it. Is dark.
It is the sunlight still coming through, but all of the lights

(02:23:11):
and lanterns around the the Tavern were out.
Sleet is just blowing through this.
Captain Spoon Lake goes up and he's going to engage Bloody Mary
and he's able to make it with his movement speed and get
there. He gets to Bloody Mary and is

(02:23:34):
going to. Yeah, she still has the box in
her hand. Hit her.
With some rapier. Attacks.
First one misses, Swings and misses.
Second one hits. He does. 11 piercing damage
against her. And then third one he gets to

(02:23:59):
roll with advantage, misses withadvantage, misses a bloody Mary.
Kind of darts around. Slipping and sliding gets to
her, engages her, hits her once.That is it for Captain Spoon
legs turn the other pirates are able to get to.

(02:24:20):
Her as well. They are able to make it through
so Jimmy Long John runs up with his with.
He takes a dagger out and tries to stab her with a dagger and
hits her. Jimmy Long John runs up, stabs
her for six points of damage andthen swings again, misses on the

(02:24:41):
second one, and then Anron Hado takes out his rapier, swings and
hits for four points of damage, then swings again.
And hits. For five points of damage.
So total 15 damage. They just.

(02:25:02):
Did to Bloody Mary. That is their turn.
We are up at the top. General Mills, you're at the
door. You are charmed by Bloody Mary.
There's no concentration on that, right?
No, it's just. An effect where because.
She loses concentration. In the only if she.
Only if she. Felt.
That but yeah, true, but. Either way, if.

(02:25:25):
There isn't one charm, I don't think.
For charm until the start of her.
Next turn. Yeah, is that's how long it.
Lasts. Yep, hasn't she already?
Had has she not had a? Turn since then, have we not
been all the. Way around.
No, We. Haven't.
It'll be the. You're right, you're right.
I'm still charmed. OK, I'm charmed by her.
She's got the box. I have realized that I left my

(02:25:48):
goopy ball back there on the dude that's restrained by it,
which is a problem. I don't have a way to recall
that to me. I have to physically go get it.
Can I see that guy at all? I know we are.
I doubt it. No, it's heavily obscured.
I mean I could drop concentration.

(02:26:09):
And let. You go.
Like if you want me to, but theneveryone else is.
Like in the Tavern is like not yeah, is Yeah, but we, I mean, I
could drop concentration if you want.
So you could go get it. No, I don't.
I don't think I would ask you todrop concentration, I think.
General Mills is going to have no choice but to drop SOG at the

(02:26:31):
door and. Walk.
Walk his ass back in there and risk falling.
I'm not even behind my my ball of Alphania.
That's religious artifact to me.So does it not?
Does it not stop the effect if you take it or just no?
I'll have to use a bonus action to drop it, but if I get up to
him I'm just going to cap him inthe.
Fucking face first. So that's OK, That's the plan

(02:26:55):
and then he'll be unrestrained at that point if you.
Take it off of him, yes. If I take it off, he'll be
unrestrained, but I'm going to kill him first.
Kyle so. It won't.
That's that's a point. I'm going to go and murder him
on the ground. It's the only.
Thing I can. Think to do so?
Yeah, I'm going to. Tempt my way in there.

(02:27:19):
So that will be, I'll use a bonus action dash and my regular
movement to try to get in there to get back to where he was.
So that gives me 60 feet of movement.
Yep, that's it's 30. Feet from where you're at so.
It's that works perfectly. All right, perfect.
So I get up to him. Now I can see him, I assume.

(02:27:41):
And did he fail his saving pros to get knocked prone by the
sleet storm? Because he doesn't actually get
knocked prone by the ball, he just gets restrained.
He has to make dexterity saves with disadvantage.
I'm asking because it's bad for me as a ranged person if people
are knocked on the ground. But right, he is knocked on the

(02:28:03):
ground. He is lying prone.
On the ground, fine. Well, it'll be neutral.
A neutral role to hit him eitherway with my gun.
Because of the fact that I have advantage on somebody who is
restrained by the ball. So that should cancel the
disadvantage, right? I'm going to aim at him with the
blunderbuss that I have. I'm pulling that out and putting

(02:28:24):
it down at his face and trying to take a shot at him.
So I whip out what looks like, you know, your classic TV like
marshmallow like shooter like infomercial thing that has like
a pump, but the back of it is just like filled with black
powder, like it's been modified.And I load a giant marshmallow
into it and I just aim down and try to shoot that into his face.

(02:28:49):
Awful. Role, but the reason?
Why I'm not going? To hit him, but I use the.
Blunderbuss because. Even if I miss I still do for
damage with the blunderbuss so Iwill do 4 damage to him.
I miss and. I guess I have to make a
Dexterity saving throw now that I'm.
Because you're in the sleep. Yeah, it's 14.
Yeah. All right.
I think I can. Hit that?

(02:29:09):
Good luck. You can hit that.
You're a marshmallow. Super dexterous.
I definitely. I haven't earned I didn't earn
any flourish points when I. Weaseled.
My way. Through the crowd.
Did I carry the marshmallow? Oh yes, absolutely.
That should have been a flourishpoint.
Thank God because I got I got trouble on this roll and I'm
going to use a flourish. Point to make it a 14.

(02:29:31):
Amazing. OK great.
Can I have one for dying like a pirate?
No, OK, alright, I did leave. SOG by the door.
So SOG is there right by. The door OK, relatively out of
harm's way, OK. And that's.
It for my turn had. To use everything to get back
here so. So you.
So, so you've got to the ball toto the I'm not.

(02:29:54):
Dropping you yet? I can't.
I have to use a bonus action to drop it.
It took a bonus. Action to even get here.
So he's still in it. I'm just not, I'm not going to
drop it until I kill him. OK, gotcha.
You're standing above Bevan. Bezelton and he.
And you caught, you take the theblunderbuss out and fire,

(02:30:14):
flipping and sliding on the ice and just kind of hit him a
little bit, Yeah. And he's just just rolls his
eyes. It's just totally restrained.
Can do nothing and he calls out.But one of you please.
Help me get out of this thing and one of the couple of the

(02:30:35):
pollen folk around kind of get the attention of him to try and
maybe help them and actually join in and help the help them
get out of the marshmallow stuff.
OK, Sog, you are up, you are stable.
Go ahead and roll AD 20 to see if you can get a a hip.
You can do it. You can do it.

(02:30:55):
Go Sog. Go in the heart of the.
Cards Man 20. Yeah, man. 20, not 20.
Jesus. So amazing.
You come to life by the. Door.
Right next to you you have Edmund Espresso who is down and

(02:31:15):
he is had one has had one failure of his death saving
throws. If he rolls a natural one then
he will die completely. On his next trip he will die
permanently. Do I have any accident or am I
was that? Is that like my whole oh that?
Is that's the end of your turn, Yeah.

(02:31:36):
That's the, like, end of your turn to do a check like that.
Yeah, you are. That is what you see.
All right, Dan, you've got a chance.
Just don't roll in that one on your next throw.
And you can live. I've been practicing.
Good thing you saved the luck point for this, huh?

(02:31:57):
God damn it, I should have done that.
Fuck yeah, that wouldn't be useful now.
I was just trying. Not to.
Die. So I'm interested.
I'll. Be honest.
This world is. Brutal this private.
World and we are coming. You know what?
For a coffee person, it's especially brutal.
Come. On.

(02:32:25):
One of the one of the pollen folk come.
Up and try to help Commodore. Bezelton, this is Yeah.
After Sog's turn, they have to roll A20 on a strength check.
Yes, yes, it's got to be a Nat 20 for this pirate.
That's a natural 7. So he is unable.

(02:32:46):
To help and unable to. Continue to help because he's
failed to check he gets some marshmallow on him and just is
not going to be able to help. Bloody Mary who?
Has the. Box slips out of the Tavern and
leaves. And she is outside.
The Tavern Which box? Would she have provoked an

(02:33:10):
opportunity? Attack from SOG or anything?
Is that the door or? Or Antonia.
Or from SOG. She has to, she has to go by
Antonia. Oh.
Antonia ANZ. OK.
Yeah, so. She is going to try to get past
you guys. That she is going to use a
disengage action to do so. And so she's going to slip past
you and get out of the Tavern. She is out.

(02:33:34):
Commodore Bezelton is laying there doing nothing.
And Ed. You are up.
It is your turn to make a death saving throw.
Good luck. I've been practicing this entire
time. This is going to.
Be so funny. That was a three.
That's another fail. Oh my.

(02:33:59):
OK. Ed, you are at two death saving
throws. How many is it 3?
Yeah, one more. Fail.
You're in need one more OK. Yeah, Ed, you're in this.
Ethereal space hanging on to life.
I see my mother. I see my father.

(02:34:21):
I see my sister all just kind of.
Hazy off in the distance. One of them taunting me, the
other two welcoming Antonia. It is your turn.

(02:34:41):
So this has been a lot. This has been very emotional.
For Antonio, she's. Already kind of emotional
anyway, because she's heartbroken and now all her
friends are dying all around her.
She's going to go up to Ed and use the kit again, the healer's
kit on him again, on her, on him.
To stabilize. Him, Ed.

(02:35:02):
Those visions go away as you arestabilized.
OK. Does that put me at 1:00?
That was your. Zero.
Yeah, Yep. So you're at 0, but you're
right. You're you're.
You're not. You're stable.
You're you don't you're not likeon desk.
Doorstep anymore. Yeah.
OK, no more throws for you. No more throws.
Thank God. Come.
Come back to us. Come back to us.

(02:35:24):
I was already thinking of other characters.
Don't leave me like I was. Shit, don't leave me.
Don't. Leave me.
I can't stand any more pain, this is too much.
Put. Antonia.
My, my heart. OK, this is fine.
This is fine. We lost the map.

(02:35:45):
But at least nobody's dead. Yet.
That's good. Yeah, Antonia wouldn't go for
the map. She would try to help her
friends first. OK.
So that brings us so SOG is up, Edmund is.
Stable Antonia? Anything else for your bonus
action? No, I'm, I'm going to just, I'm

(02:36:06):
going to stay with stay with that to make sure he's OK.
OK, Milford, You stand above Bezelton, who's rolling his eyes
at you. As you missed him from like
point blank range with the blunderbuss, what would you like
to do? Didn't you just say Sog was up?
I'm sorry Sog. Is state is.
She has one hit point. She's.

(02:36:27):
Like you meant you didn't mean SOG is up, you meant SOG is up.
I see. OK, living with one hit point.
That's what I said now, OK. So we are at the oh wait.
Sorry, the bottom of the initiative that is.
Going to be. Spoonleg and the cruise turn so.
Spoonleg. Was up with up with her, up with

(02:36:49):
Bloody Mary and you. See him Sprint out.
Of the Tavern as well as the other two, and that is what you
see. I'm going to resolve some roles.
That you guys cannot see from inside the Tavern, but Million
Mill, Milford Mills, you are up.Cool.

(02:37:11):
I'm going to take a. Another I'm going to.
I'm whipping out Dandy and Miss Swiss for these for these shots
I I I-21 to hit my man on the ground 20.
One will hit. OK, cool, cool.
That will be. 11 piercing damagefrom the shot at him for the

(02:37:39):
first shot and then I'll use Miss Swiss for the bonus action
for another shot. You said 11 for the first one.
Yeah, the damage on that was 11 and.
Then a 17 to hit on the second one. 17 will miss.
Bastard all. Right.
Then that. I'm staying put where I'm at.

(02:38:00):
Does that mean I have to make another?
Saving throw probably. Yep, you do, and I think that
that's at the start of your turnanyways.
Well. We'll do that.
We'll say that, OK. Well, that is 25.
Yes. You are slipping and sliding a
OK on there. Sorry about this, but I really

(02:38:21):
can't trust it to run. Attack me if I release.
Tomorrow so I'm. No choice but to kill you.
God save the Queen, but if you're gonna kill me, try to hit
me with one of these shots. I just.
Did for 11. Damage.
I just shot you unfazed. Unfazed.
By. This he looks he he looks
damaged, but he's doing fine, OK, The well, next turn he's

(02:38:46):
getting picked up and fucking dragged out of here on the ball
then I guess. If that's how he wants to be.
Incredible. That is your.
Turn. Sog, you are up with one.
Hit point All right, I'm. I can see that Ed is.

(02:39:07):
Stable, but barely. Yeah, he's within 10 feet of me.
He's stable. He's he's out of it.
So if you give him, he'll be. Able to come up, yeah, and have
actions. I'm going to.
Army crawl my way over to him. And cast care wounds.
I'm going to do that at a secondlevel.

(02:39:33):
Excellent. You army crawl.
People are jumping over you. You've got.
You've got this the Vitamite little like vitamin man and like
like rolls. You have to like steps on top of
you and you like flatten down tothe ground for a second as he
like steps over you and you are crawling through the Tavern as
people are flying around. Guns are still firing.
It's still like mass chaos. Nobody really knows where the

(02:39:55):
where the seems to know where the box is except for you 2.
Everyone just started fighting because it's a reason to fight
and after they lost track of thebox, the map box and initial
part of it. But yeah, you are able to make
it to him and cast secure woundsand that is. 16 points.

(02:40:21):
Excellent, you are 16. Points of healing back.
So I clocked. That.
Bloody Mary. Had the box OK how much?
Movement. Do I still have if I crawl over?
10 feet. If I stand up, that's 15 of my
feet. So I've got 5 feet of movement

(02:40:41):
left. Yes.
Yeah. And then I can use my bonus.
Action to dash another. 15 feet.Sure.
Yeah, you can. Can she wait?
No, sorry. What was the do?
You have a feature. That lets you bonus action dash
I only. Can't because I'm a rogue.
Sorry. Yeah, that's a bone, but I got

(02:41:03):
confused on who had what feature.
So yeah, unless you have an ability that gives you a bonus.
Action to Dash. Then then you don't have that.
In that case I will. Look over at ADD and say the
spoons take us all, but they're not.

(02:41:24):
Taking you today. And I'm going to cast partic.
Inspiration. For ADD and then I'm going to
take my 5 feet to get 5 feet. Closer to the door.
Excellent. Good.
And so partic is a what? It's a 1D8 to.
You can like use. It as a resource if you fail for

(02:41:45):
an attack roll. Ability check or saving throw
and you can. Use it for the next hour with
the new 2024 rules an. Hour.
An hour, that's. Good.
OK, sog that. Is your turn and.
There's some things happening outside the Tavern that you are
not seeing. There is one more bee.

(02:42:09):
Person pollen folk is going to try.
And get Bezelton out. That's a natural 5:00 and we are
to Ed, you are up with 16 pointsof health, OK.
And I can't. I can't see outside of the
Tavern at all. You can't.
The door's shut, so you had to have to get down, OK?

(02:42:31):
And like, is there a? Window nearby.
Yeah, there are windows. OK, they're they're further.
Than the door from where? You're at OK, further than OK.
I'm going to give Antonia A dexterity advantage.
I'm going to use enhance abilityto.

(02:42:53):
Give Antonia. And dexterity advantage and
whisper. Go go get the bitch.
As I. As I second.
I'll I'll second. I'll bonus action second wind
and move toward try to get out the door.

(02:43:15):
Yeah. So you, yeah, with your
movement, you're able to get, you'd be.
Able to get out the door becauseyou are, I think just 20 feet
from the door. So you run, you Sprint out the
door, open the door and what yousee out there, so spoon leg and
you see spoon leg. Long John, Jimmy, Long John and

(02:43:38):
Anuran Hado, they did a collective 45 points of damage
to her. Holy shit, as when they left,
when they got out there and caught up with her, they messed
her up. And so she is down on the
ground. She's not out, but she's given
up essentially Spoonlake has thebox in his hand with the with
the sword kind of holding her atat her chin.

(02:44:03):
Excuses get the others. Let's get the hell out of here.
Do I have another? Do I have another action or no
because? You used the.
All right, that's everything. All right, cool.
Greats, that is your turn and. Antonia, you are up.
I hollowed to everybody saying we got to go.

(02:44:25):
OK, so. Who's still inside besides me?
Is OK. Everyone's inside OK.
How far are you guys away from the door?
I'm 30 feet from the door. 30 feet.
From the door. OK, wait.
No you, because you went back to.
Bezelton, you went. Back to yeah.

(02:44:46):
More than that, I don't. Know however much you're 45 feet
from. The door, 45 feet, Yeah.
OK. All right, let's.
See, do I have to be able to seelike the I feel like the I feel
like the sleet stays when I have.

(02:45:07):
Concentration I don't have to beable.
To see it right, as long as you're concentrating on it.
As long as I'm concentrating on it I can, it stays.
In the area. OK, I'm going to, I'm going to
leave too. OK, so I'm going to hear.
I'm going to hear Yell Ed yelling.
Yelling out I'm going to, I'm going to.
I'm going to head out the door. Excellent.
Yeah. OK.

(02:45:34):
So you you head out the door. So.
Antonio's out the door, Ed's outthe door, the other crew's out
there. Waiting for everyone to.
Come, we are back up at General Milford Mills.
Great. What are you going to make me?
What are you going to? What are you going to take for
me to pick? This dude up who's restrained in
my marshmallow goop. It's an object interaction, all

(02:45:55):
right. Excellent.
And how far away am I from a? Wall.
From a wall and you are you are 15.
Feet from a wall I would. Like to whip out my blunderbuss
and blast a fucking hole throughthe wall.
Amazing. Yes.
First you have to make a Dexterity save.
Oh yes, I did that. I got a 21.
On it. Excellent, you are on the ice.

(02:46:17):
You pick up Bezelton. And carry him.
The other pirates there are going to be able to get some
opportunity attacks on you. First one is a 19 to hit, that
is 6 points of piercing damage. 15 to hit just hits.

(02:46:39):
That is six points of piercing damage.
OK, I think you'll find my. Fluff is way to pumper stuff my
boy. And.
Then I pick him up and blast a hole through the wall.
No, no, what are you doing? Put me down.
Put me down this instant. Oh no, I'll be putting you down
for a very long milk bath. My friend, I'm going to drown

(02:47:03):
this guy when we get back to theboat, by the way, because I
don't care how much health he has.
Nobody survives 24 hours underwater.
Incredible. Or under milk.
Let's say. So yeah, I blast a hole in the
wall. And use my roll to hit, roll to
hit the wall do this. Come on, you have the tear.

(02:47:25):
Ability on your the this. Home brew.
Master. Not master work, right?
It's what is it? It's master.
I think that's right, master work.
There's something like that, butI don't remember.
A 17 to hit blast. Blast a big hole through the
wall and you're able to walk out.
Holding Beselton in your arms. He's screaming.

(02:47:46):
I will. He's by the order of the of the
of the of the Honey Nut Trading Company.
You put me down. The queen will have your head if
you can't beat. I'm slow, Sir.
The only person I take waters from is Captain Spoon Leg.
And I can you still make attackscan't he has let.

(02:48:06):
Me. Look, he's restrained.
Restrained D and DI think maybe he can make disadvantage attacks
when? He's restrained.
Attack rolls against the creature the.
Creatures attack rolls. Have disadvantage so he can.
Make an. Attack roll but with
disadvantage you. Is he going to sting me?

(02:48:30):
Not yet. So.
You know the you guys know about?
The races of this. World or the species?
Of this world. You know the pollen folk, you
know that they have stingers, you know that it is a last ditch
type effort type of thing for them to use their Stinger.
You know that it carries. It carries with them for them to
use it. Is a 50%.

(02:48:51):
Chance essentially that they diefrom using their own Stinger
attack, but it does an incredible amount of damage and
so you know this about the pollen.
Folk, you know that. They you know that it's AI mean
they're basically going to be willing to die if they are going
to use that attack. But he will try to hit you with

(02:49:15):
some scimitar attacks as you arepicking him up.
So that's going to be as you aredragging him out, he takes his.
Scimitar out. The first one is a 13 to hit
miss, 12 to hit miss. And.

(02:49:39):
A 19 to hit hit. You.
Just took 19 points of slashing damage.
Actually, I'm going to take. Half that because I'm going to
uncanny Dodge, so I'm going to take. 9 points of slashing
damage and six points of poison damage and you are poisoned all

(02:49:59):
right. OK, OK.
And I will OK. So I only used my action to
shoot through the wall and then 15 feet of movement to get, I
assume that was difficult terrain.
So that would have been like my full movement to get to that
hole that I blasted open. And then I will use my bonus
action to get another dash to get 30 more feet to try to get

(02:50:21):
to the rest of the group. Excellent.
You are able to catch up with them.
Essentially, you are outside theTavern, outside of the danger.
Zone. You're there, but he is.
Those attacks that he's making, he's making them technically
after Sog's turn because he's because he has to make them on
his turn. So Sog, you are up and you are.

(02:50:42):
Are you still in the. Let's see who's still on the
tower. I think I'm 5 feet away from the
door. Yeah, you're OK.
That's right, 5 feet away from the.
Door, everybody. Is out at this point.
What do? So I run outside.
What am I saying? Excellent.
You run outside and all of you are out.
We are out of the out of the Tavern.
Out of the brawl, do you guys run out and collect yourselves

(02:51:06):
with Captain Spoon like he? Says we got to get the hell out.
Of here. What is that?
What? Who is that with you?
Oh, you got Bezelton with you. All right, let's go.
And and everybody starts to be done.
Can't let them go without my without my bands.
Can I take a moment before I before I leave?
Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah.
So Bloody Mary's there, kneelingon the ground.

(02:51:28):
But yes, what would you like to do?
I'd like to take my pistol and shoot bloody.
Mary, OK, Roll to roll to attack.
OK. All right.
That's a. 12 + 6 for an 18 that will.
Hit. OK, D 10 + 3.
That'll be an 8 + 3, so. 11. You kill Bloody Mary.

(02:51:57):
Take the pistol. Out the front lock pistol, you
guys are all running away and you.
All hear and Bloody Mary had. Tomato.
Juice splashed against the ground and she falls over flat
on the ground. I run.
I run up to meet with everybody.Dark.

(02:52:18):
OK, everyone sits. Stands for a second, watches
and. Then keeps moving.
There's a fruit loop man that walks out of the Tavern, says I,
I took the box. They're going that way.
What are we doing? And all the Tavern, all the
Tavern like starts to erupt. People start chasing you out of
the Tavern. You run toward the docks, toward
the port, together as a crew. And you see in front of you,

(02:52:41):
docked at the port, the lady Lactose and all of her glory.
She looks a little bit. Older now, she.
Doesn't look as as good as she did back when you were last on
the ship, but she has been fixedup at least from all those
cannon fire shots from when you fought that silver plated ship
five years ago. But you see her in all of her

(02:53:02):
glory and a lot of the crew on there.
And Captain Spoonleg calls out to the crew, has the stations
lower the sails, fire the arrows, and arrows are fired
onto the docks, lighting them onfire around the other ships as
you run up. Scott, what are you going to do
with the Commodore Bezelton? All right, well, since we're in

(02:53:26):
a hurry right now and since I'vegot him for 24 hours locked.
Up like that, I honestly, I think I would, assuming we don't
have time to deal with them, just kind of toss them in a
corner for the moment. But the eventual plan is to tie
a rope around him, strap some cannonballs to that, and just
throw them over the edge. Like the plank.
Yeah, you run up on to board theship and throw.

(02:53:47):
Them off into a corner. And you guys sail away.
You sail through through the waffle sogs that through this
like difficult to sail area and get out into the open milk, past
the skims, into the 1%. And as the sogs go away in the
distance, Captain Spoonleg callsa meeting, and the crew gathers

(02:54:12):
around a table, and the captain sets a box, sets the box map
down on the table. Now I promised you all a heading
based on this here. Map a map with.
No markings. After I left the university,
having having learned the true origins of the map, I sat and I
drank myself into a wonderful stupor.

(02:54:34):
And in that stupor, a thought came to me.
You see, the top of this box hasalways been open.
I never thought to close. It.
When he takes the box and he flaps the the flaps are folded
inside of it on the top, and he flips them up, and as the flaps
come together, he holds it out so you can see that it doesn't
close all the way shut. There are four obvious

(02:54:57):
rectangular holes at the top. That's right, this box can't
close all the way. It's missing 4 pieces, 4 keys, 4
tops of the box. Now, in my drunken stupor, I
remembered something. You see, old Captain Berrybeard

(02:55:18):
had a friend. A Tabaccity that went by the
name. Antonio Antonio was from the
Frosted Lakes up in Frostica, and when he died, he passed down
a relic from generation to generation where it finally
landed to one of his progeny, a woman who shared his love of his
love of adventure. Antonia, if you please, Any kind

(02:55:42):
of gestures to you, kind of pointing to the necklace that
you wear around your neck. Yep.
So she has a necklace. And it.
Has. Let's see, it has like an
imprint of a. Key on.
It. Right.
Is that correct? Yes.
So she's going to go ahead and and it is this.

(02:56:08):
Kind of strange material. It's green.
It's a it's a green strange material that you've really
never seen before. This relic.
It's been passed down through the families and you know that
it was your great, great grandfather Antonio's.
So she's going to go ahead and hand it over like, you know.

(02:56:29):
He takes the net, the relic. And.
Clicks it on the top of the box,and as he clicks the box top on
top of the box, a red dotted line appears on the map.
On the map in the Sogs trails through Ceramica to the
southeast and a large red X forms in the Java archipelago at

(02:56:53):
the base of Mount Fulgerius. It seems we have our heading now
for the most important part. And he takes off his hat.
By the code of the pirates set down by Captain Barry Beard, I
hereby invoke the captain's vote.

(02:57:13):
In a world where kings and Queens, merchant Lords and
ladies and other assholes hold their power over others, we who
sail the sea stand apart. Every one of us has sought the
promises of the milk for different reasons, but the one
thing that ties us together is that we are free men and women.
Free men and women who deserve to choose their leader.

(02:57:36):
And so, in our most important ritual, I relinquish the title
of captain and call for a vote. If you believe yourself to be an
honorable choice for captain, put forth your hat or call for
someone else's you believe should lead this ship.
I will start off the nominationsby nominating myself.

(02:57:57):
I Elias Lafell It would be honoured to once.
Again, serve as your. Captain on this most adventurous
voyage, and he places his tricorn hat on the table.
Hi nominee Jimmy Long John, and he places his hat.

(02:58:19):
On the table. Oh man, that was scary.
Sorry, I don't actually want anyone to vote for me.
I just figured maybe one day I might want to, you know, be a
captain. And I've never done this part
and I thought it'd be less nervewracking in the future if I've
already at least put my hat on the table.
So please don't vote for me. I just, you know, wanted that
experience. So wonderful job, Jimmy.

(02:58:43):
Wonderful. Someday, I'm sure you'll make.
A flying Captain honor on how tosays anyone else.
Then let's call for the. Vote all.
In favour of Jimmy Long John say.
Aye. Nothing given to a pity I.

(02:59:07):
Yeah, but. Like just kind of like just Nils
do that. Do you want to do it stickly?
Give me a deception roll. Oh hell yeah, I'll give you a
deception. Roll with my plus one to
deception. Everybody's looking in the back,
yeah. Like wait, who?
What? That's a 20.
On that deception roll. What?

(02:59:31):
Really. Oh.
Wow. OK.
Who said that? Who said that?
I think there's 111 in the back back there.
Oh. OK, we should move.
On to the next point, to the next point, to the next.
All right, that's one. Vote for Jimmy Long John.
And all in and then. All in favour.

(02:59:53):
Of Captain Spoon leg of Excuse me, Elias Lafell.
And what do you guys Say? Hi, hi.
Here that goes the rest of the. Crew who says I?
As well. It seems we have our captain and
captain. Spoonlike grabs the hat.

(03:00:14):
And takes it and puts it back onhis head.
Now, as you know, I refuse to begin a voyage without a proper
blessing. Oh man, this is my favorite
part. I've been practicing my lower
octave guys. I think I might give.
It a try. And Captain Spoonleg starts
singing. Creamy, frothy, thick and thin,

(03:00:36):
rich and sugary sweet. The mighty milk before us may
look a delicious treat, but don't be fooled.
The maid is tough. And so this prayer we sing that
we, the masters of the sea, accept the challenge she brings.
And everybody, everybody starts singing.

(03:01:03):
To milk. And hail to the sea.
Hail to the maid and all her dairy.
Send the waves and let them crash.
For the pirates of Ceramica. We'll break them fast.
All right, break out our finest Caskaram.
I'm far too sober to begin this journey to the pirates of

(03:01:25):
Ceramica. The pirates of Ceramica.
And the ship sails on off into the night.
And that will end the first chapter of Pirates of Ceramica.
Woo, you guys made it? I wasn't sure what was it was
looking dicey. That was some bad stuff in that

(03:01:46):
town. Was looking dicey.
Yeah, it was excellent. Thank you to all the players.
Socials can be found. In the description.
Of this video, if you like the video, if you like the podcast,
give us five star reviews. Join our discord too, we do a
lot of fun stuff there. Video if you are an audio only

(03:02:06):
listener, the video of this podcast is up on our YouTube.
Follow us on TikTok, YouTube andInstagram.
Thank you to Tyler Adelsperger for our intro music.
And with that, we will see you next time at the Tall Tale
Tavern. At least, that's how the episode
could have ended. But first, we need to thank our

(03:02:27):
patrons. Ceramica and the Tall Tale
Tavern would not continue to be possible without the support.
Of our Patreon and we want to take this moment to shout out
our VIP members thank you to Becca and Brooke and Timothy
landrew fellington the. 3rd weather of illustrious.
Emo rock band Red Weather streaming everywhere.
And of course, we want to give an extra special shout out to

(03:02:48):
our bottle service members like Marilyn Maverick.
Pardon the Interruption, but I too would like to.
Thank my good friend Mac for hisgenerous continued support of
the Tall Tale Tavern and thanks to Andy Roux I.
Get an extra day off this. Year, Thank you.

(03:03:10):
Andy, would you believe it? Yes, I too would like to give a
special thanks to my. Indescribably talented and
generous and handsome and marvelous friend Dane for
supporting the Tall Tale Tavern.Thank you to them and again to
all our patrons if you're interested in supporting the
show. Make sure to check out the
Patreon link in the description of the episode.

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The Pirates of Ceramica Ch. 1 - "Continental Breakfast"

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}The Pirates of Ceramica Ch. 1 - "Continental Breakfast"