TTTTTDTTS #5

This is a monthly free release of our Patreon Show The Talltale Tavern Triple Threat D20 Talk Show. If you want more you can get weekly episodes by signing up for the reserved seating tier of our patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/TalltaleTavern

We're back with more dice rolling discussions. This week we play some Fuck Marry Kill Become, Talk about which movies have the most DnD energy while not actually being DnD, and talk which DnD score we most wish we had a 20 in IRL. Plus a quiz on bearded magic users in the movies!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Knock, knock. Who's there?
I'm Scott Eswin. He's Kyle Davis, and it's the
Tall tale camera triple 1320 talk show.
It's the TTTTTT show. Hurry up Kyle and roll.
I'm going to. Take extra long with the roll.
Today it's the. Longest intro actually.

(00:24):
Ooh, that's. OK, good, he's done.
I was going to keep, I was goingto extend it, but he said ooh,
good, so I can. Stop.
Oh, you know what? I thought it was one number, but
it was flipped over and so I have to turn the dice to
actually read the real number. Keeps on going.
The number is 89. We're talking #81 + 8.

(00:48):
I couldn't think of a rhyme. I should have said 88 + 1.
Damn, see I thought it was 68 but then there's a little dot in
the corner so I had to turn it around and a little dot.
In the corner there's a picture of my daughter in the corner.
Yeah, it is. Yeah.
And it's a very specialized. It's a very small picture.
You have to have a microscope. This is 89 you said.
Yeah. Oh, good.
Well, Kyle, we have one minute, one minute to answer to answer

(01:16):
the question. This is an easy one.
Fuck Mary Kill become Diandra, Adrastia, Barb and.
Rolaguer Oh my God, become OK one.
Minute. Yeah, we have one minute
starting now. No time to think about it.
Kyle, let's go. Fuck Mary.
Kill. Become.
Wait, wait, that's a roll. Wait, we have to roll.
Let's see who goes first. Time's already started, buddy.

(01:38):
So you. I'm going become easy.
I'm going to become Barb. That guy is great and Roligar
marry him. That's a that's a partner that's
going to be absolutely loyal to the to the to the death
potentially and fool fuck that Drastia.

(01:59):
She's hot and Diandra marry. I'm going to marry.
No, wait, no, I. Already marry.
You're killing her is what? I'm killing Diandra, she's
already close to death so. She is very close to death.
I'm going to become Roligar because he's like the most
noble, actual good person of thegroup, right?
I feel like I'm going to marry Adrastia even though that goes

(02:19):
against their whole relationship.
She's just the one I think by far I most want to be married to
of these. People I I.
I don't eat into my time. I have 4 seconds.
I'm going to fuck Diandra. I'm going to kill Barb.
Time is up. Boom.
Wait, wait. Oh, perfect.
Flawless, I think. All right, quick start, quick

(02:42):
start to the podcast today. Just a.
That's great. I did become Barb and then I I
married. Oh, whatever.
We're done with this question. We are doing it.
You're not allowed to talk about.
Although I will say even though it's breaking the rules and we
give myself a card, a yellow card for talking about it.
I did choose to become roll card.
Does that mean I turn into a fairy dragon thing?

(03:05):
Like he, yeah, you're a fairy, fairy dragon now at the end.
These guys are kind of cool, I guess.
You got some cool stuff being stuck, but now you're stuck in
the farewell. Yeah, exactly what I was going
to say. That's the problem.
I don't want to be stuck in thatland of like Alice in Wonderland
bullshit logic, you know, running into people like
Christopher who are weirdos. You are I I think you are

(03:29):
someone who who does dislike bullshit logic, as my main
example of that is the wicked universe of Oz.
I think I do. We've.
Had conversations where it very much so bothers you that
everything can be crazy and weird in different colors and
then one person shows up as green and it's like this whole

(03:52):
big thing. I don't.
Yeah, you're right. It doesn't make any sense that
the world is like talking scarecrow, talking lions,
whatever, you know? But Green, get her out of here
talking about fucking freaks. I can't wait for Wicked for
good, everybody. Woo Hoo, I'm excited.

(04:15):
At least I know you. Will this episode sponsored by
Wicked for. Just like Dancing with the
Stars. Most recent?
No, not most recent episode. Because obviously.
This came out like 3. Weeks old because we're
recording this in November when it's coming out.
Right, of course. It's November, the 11th month of
the year I. Love the 11th month of the year.

(04:36):
Love 11 Is 11. Is 11 the most disappointing
number to roll on your dice? It's boring.
I think it's a boring. Yeah, let's see what is the most
disappointing. I'm still I think 1 is
disappointing, but it's fun disappointing.
Yeah, I think, I think the rangeof disappointment really is like

(05:01):
11:50 or, you know, like it's not 10 to 13 maybe because if
you roll A9 then it's like, oh, I rolled a, you know, I rolled
less than 10. That's usually not a good thing,
you know, 11:50 It's like, OK, you have some.
Policy, but it might not work out.
Yeah, I will say I think 11 is the most disappointing number

(05:23):
you could have as an ability score 'cause you're still at +0,
you know, it's like, fuck, I gotan 11 is useless to me.
I'm never going to pump up whatever stat I put an 11 in is
staying an 11 forever. Forever.
That's a dumb stat. So it could have been a plus one
if I just rolled a little bit better, you know?

(05:45):
That's like when I I've created characters before and I'm like
OK, am I level 4? I know normally you force Carrie
to. Do the the full sentence of that
Carrie Carrie has has. Never.
Never made. No, You told me she didn't build
T-bone from scratch. Pencil, actually.
The first time, no, the first time we made T-bone together and

(06:07):
we picked the abilities togetherand then his his scores came out
crazy. I think the full sense of what I
was trying to say. I've never made I've made
characters poorly before where I'm like, OK, I have some odd
scores, but then when I hit level 4 with my ASI increase,
I'll both those up and that willmake sense.
And then I get to level 4 and I'm like, I want a feet.
Yeah, feet. Something fun every time,

(06:30):
something fun to do. I don't want to do a stinking
ASI. Oh.
Boy, I can get one additional plus to this stat that I hardly
ever roll. Or I could make it so that
people can't get opportunity attacks against me when I move.
Away from mobile I I can crawl on walls now.
You know, there's like so many more interesting things with
feets. I can never resist the call of

(06:52):
the feet. I feel like I'm always
constantly keeping a list of like every half feet so I can
try to round up those, you know,when you have like the 17 and
you're like, well, if I can get something that is a + 1 and also
gives me a little bit of feet. Juice.
Beet juice, Quentin Tarantino's favorite drink.
Surprise, you don't always play as half lings then, with their

(07:15):
half feets. Actually, half lings would have
large feet, don't they? You know, like Frodo, but they
actually don't have half feet. I don't think the pun works, no.
I I liked it, Kyle. I didn't laugh, but that's
because I was leaving room for everybody else to.
Laugh. No, you mute.
I saw you mute the mic and laugh.

(07:35):
You were laughing so hard. If you're looking at the video,
he edited the video so he's not laughing.
Everyone. He laughed.
While he slapping my knee and I didn't want that audio to you
know impact the quality of the record or possibly hit the mic
and so I. Had to mute it.
And edit it out because I had anembarrassing nip slip.

(07:56):
Wow. I was wildly slapping so I had
to cut that out of the. Show so much editing you have to
do every episode man. It's like it's figured out.
People don't realize that honestly 50% of the time we're
CG on screen. I.
Don't use AI. There's no generative AI used.

(08:18):
I'm painstaking. I was saying I am actually AI
and you've been talking to just an AI.
You've been setting up AI for the call without telling me the
whole time I've been sieging over that.
Oh. My gosh, mistakes double, double

(08:39):
double computer generated. That's how we like to roll here,
baby. Do we have any any Tavern news?
Kyle, this is. Our first.
Record since we launched the Patreon.
Oh yeah, it is. Thank you to all of our our
Patreon members that have signedup and are listening to these
episodes. It's been awesome so far.

(09:00):
I didn't, we didn't know what toexpect, right.
I mean, like, we're, you know, hopeful that people signed up
and wanted to listen to this type of content.
And last Monday when the episodecame out and people started
commenting in the Patreon Discard Discord, I was like, Oh
my gosh, we had a release today.Like I'm still getting used to
having things come out on Mondays and I'm like, this is

(09:21):
awesome me. Too, because I woke up to two
different text messages that said the video parts not working
on the Patreon, by the way. Oh boy, it's Monday.
I got to go fix that. Monday morning.
Lovely. The best day of the week to have
surprise work to do in the mornings.
It was great. It was great.
I just literally forgot to actually put the link on the

(09:43):
post. I made the post and then never
copied the YouTube link over to it.
So if you're listening to this right now and you don't know,
there is a video version that islinked to an unlisted YouTube
video. If you share that unlisted video
with somebody who's not subscribed, you will be
permanently banned from the TallTale Tavern.
We're going to find you. We're going to find you.

(10:04):
I don't give a shit what you do.This is so true.
We don't. Yeah, we are here.
We are in Yeah, November. Because we did have a comment
from Landy that it broke his immersion.
Yes. That it wasn't at the table.
So that's why he's actually withus here today.
Wow. But he doesn't like just

(10:24):
talking. Camera shy, he doesn't like to
talk. Right.
Yeah, and he's not miked up. But thanks for being here,
Landy. I'm glad you're glad you're
here. How are you feeling today?
Feeling great, awesome, great. I think I saw the thumbs up in
like the reflection on your poster back there.
So, yeah, he's he's doing good. It's great to have you, Mandy.

(10:45):
Kyle. All right, anything else?
Should we move on? Should we?
Should we move on to our second topic?
I think so. Let's do it D. 20 talk show and
you know what? This is a special one, Kyle,
because this is the first time we're going to roll from the
Patreon. Questions, Oh awesome have been
generated by users. I.
Got it in front of me. We will be discussing great

(11:12):
straight out and you get to rollwith advantage on how much time.
This is a question submitted by our dear friend Mr. Marilyn
Maverick. Awesome, that's AVIP perk I
think. Yes, it is.
He's actually put two things down and I think it's fair to
honor. One is the the advantage
disadvantage and one is his bottle service additional

(11:34):
modifier on top of that the additional model.
Well, should I read you the question?
Should we get to the question? Let's get to the question.
The question, he says. What's the most DND movie that's
not officially in the Dungeons and Dragons universe?
Explain why roll with advantage and additional Scott cannot

(11:55):
reference Steven Spielberg so. OK, great.
Can't bring him up all right. OK, with advantage rolling, here
we go. That's cocked.
It's cocked. That's a 14 with advantage you.
Know what that's honestly, that's not too.
Bad. We almost had a four.
That was my first role, so the advantage really helped out

(12:17):
there. We shouldn't let Kyle be the one
who rolled. I know for the patrons, they
don't deserve that. They don't deserve 5 the. 14's,
14's All right, well, I'm just Iguess I got the timer up here,
Kyle, we're talking most DND movies that are not officially
dungeons and. Dragons.
I'm trying to think of this because we've this definitely

(12:39):
comes up. I feel like frequently we're
like this feels like ADND. Movie.
I know right? You.
Know what I mean? I'm definitely.
Not trying to stall while I likelook at movies right now, that's
not what's happening. So if you've gotten that
impression, it's simply incorrect.
I'm not. I'm not sorting my films.
Well, I will start with. I will start with.

(12:59):
Should we start potentially because.
The time hasn't started. Oh yeah, we got to start the
time. Yeah, the.
Time starts now 14 minutes. Because I'm going to start with
potentially the most the the thethe the the most popular, the
most fantastical, the most non DNDDND movie of all time, Lord
of the Rings. I mean, you got to think of a

(13:20):
fantasy movie, The Lord of the Rings, a party that comes
together, The Fellowship of the Ring, an orc or not an orc.
There's a orc in the Lord of the.
Rings. Well, there are orcs, but
they're bad. Guys not in a fellowship, yes.
Yeah, they're not in. There's certainly not one in the
Fellowship. I've seen the movies, guys.
I know how it works. There's an orc, there's a evil

(13:41):
wizard they're trying to stop orthey're trying to get the ring
back so their master can come back and change the world.
I I really see it from that their perspective.
I, I think you're right. I mean, well, that's a great
answer in that Dungeons and Dragons is literally based on
Lord of the rings, right? Like that's the original
inspiration for the role-playinggame is let's copy this shit

(14:04):
from the books so we can play it.
So I agree, Lord of the Rings isa great answer.
My brain isn't like for whateverreason, my brain doesn't just
immediately go to the to the fantasy movies.
I'm just trying to think of movies that have like.
Yeah, I don't think that. People with like varied skills
that come together, you know, I can think of like, this is sort

(14:26):
of a cop out in that I think theDungeons and Dragons movie is
basically aping this movie's kind of style.
But Guardians of the Galaxy is very Dungeons and.
Dragons to me. Like these very different
classes that. Kind of kind.
Of light and goofy, the way thatplaying DND often is, you know,
and I I do. Because like, I mean like it's.

(14:48):
That energy to it. Yeah, I love the and the Yeah,
the spirit of the question definitely isn't.
Let's talk about Lord of the Rings, right?
It's. It's like.
Let's figure. It's actually really skirting
the spirit of the question, since it says that's not in the
D&D universe and Lord of the Rings.
Is oh, is the D&D universe. The universe, but.
I love the Guardians. It's the Galaxy lawyer, and

(15:09):
he'll appreciate that technicality.
He's already typing. He's already typed the response.
He paused the video to type a response in the chat, and now
he's getting to this part. He's.
Sending it to you in triplicate right now.
I love the Guardian's answer because there's a couple
different characters in that that I would love to just play

(15:30):
as a simple that dumb barbarian type character with Drax you've
got. That's basically how I drew it.
When I'm playing is like Scort and he's being like obtuse or
saying the wrong thing every time.
I'm basically just in my head like what would Drax?
How would Drax make it worse right now?
You know, whenever we're playingat our tabletop game and like

(15:52):
when I when when, when I fucked up J KS wing and it was
permanently scarred and I was like, what's the big deal?
It looks cool now. You know, like that's just like
this sort of wrong thing, I think.
Exactly. Yes, exactly.
That was a character who had very, yeah, horrific for her
character. She lost the function of her
wings and it's huge scar. And your character's like, oh,

(16:14):
that looks sick. It's pretty.
And she's crying at the bar, drinking, drinking her sorrows
away. And it did not help.
You know sometimes this moments help but did not help.
Her No. Here's.
One that I've got, I've got 1 one that this this came out
recently. I remember specifically thinking
this felt that way. Like it'd be fun to play a game

(16:37):
like this. The new Jumanji movie where they
get sucked into the video game sort of like an Issachai type
scenario where you get like, youknow, sucked into a new
universe. I guess they sort of like change
their characters. So like the girls playing like
the big tough guy. No, I think that that's that's
good D&D energy though, to have like explicit classes and stats

(17:01):
to the characters in the movie, right Like that.
Also they have very specialized roles in that way that you want
ADND party. So I think that's a good answer.
I'm not allowed to mention a certain Steven, but I will say
my dream, like DND campaign is essentially to play Ocean's 11.

(17:21):
That's what I want, is a crew ofdudes that break and pull up a
heist. That's not actual D&D energy,
that's just me putting that wishout into the universe that
that'll happen at some point. An actual movie that I think has
D&D energy that I don't think you've seen is the movie
Labyrinth, I feel. Like we've talked about that.
Yep, haven't seen that. It's literally like it doesn't

(17:43):
have that that energy of like a party coming together, but it is
like one girl going through likea big monster filled maze with
like riddles and the sort of encounters that DMS love to put
into like their sessions is filled in there.
Like the classic like there's 2 doors and it's like he always

(18:04):
lies. I always tell the one of us
always lies. One of us always tells the
truth. You only ask one question.
You know which one's the real. Door.
Is that from that? Yeah, it happens in that movie.
I don't know if they invented it, but that's the first time I
ever saw it as a kid. And I remember, I remember
pausing the tape as a kid and like, getting out a pencil and
paper and being like, I have to figure out how the fuck the

(18:25):
solution to this works. You know?
I love that. I love that kind of Riddle.
I think I think a classic 1 the Goonies is would be a fun one to
do. All kids start off like true
level 1 or, you know, charactersgoing into a, you know, scary
dungeon with some adults that are like evil and kind of keep

(18:47):
coming back around to try and stop you.
And they have you have to escapethem and have that like them be
the main villain, these adults. But then you're, you know,
fighting all these things and trying to get to this cool
pirate ship place, I think. That's good.
Goonies has like that has monster bash energy, right?
You know, like. That's.
That's obviously sort of what we're going for with it, is that

(19:07):
sort of Kids on Bikes, a film not directed by the person I'm
not allowed to mention, even though Kyle couldn't, couldn't
be blamed for thinking it was ina previous podcast.
I know I was, I was. There was a story by the story
was written. I think it's like.
One of the only movies that he has like a story by on he like
pitched it. I, I don't, I can't remember how

(19:30):
it came about. I used to know the story of
Goonies. Now it's not coming to me.
And we only have 7 1/2 minutes left to discuss these movies,
Kyle. And I'm definitely again, not
stalling for time while I talk and scroll and look through my
list of movies. It's just just sort of the way
that I naturally converse, you know, I keep going and going

(19:51):
like the Energizer Bunny. I can't be stopped.
I'm really struggling to talk about anything else that looks.
Very D&D here, Kyle. I'm gonna, I'm gonna pull up my
recent letter. Box he's pulling up his his
recent. I like the idea.
I'm gonna see the recent activities of some recent
movies. I mean of.
Course, I recently watched a great movie that I showed you

(20:13):
some clips from. That one did have some 2006.
I think we should Covenant A1 shot explicitly designed after
that movie of like 4 edgy. Dudes that, yeah.
Are Wiz warlocks? The Covenant, They're witches.
They're witches. Sorry, they're bro witches.
Yeah, it's awesome. Great, great.

(20:34):
What's that line? What's the line that Sebastian
Stan says? Is it?
I'm gonna make you my WIAT, the hardest line in all of cinema.
Lines that go hard, You're gonnawatch that.
I'm going to make you my wiatch.Awful, awful line.
An obvious one that we haven't said is like Willow.

(20:56):
That's another one that's just sort of like generic fantasy
though, you know, it's not like,but it does have, you know, like
a little little halfling and I. Don't know.
It's. It there's a good one of.
Aping Lord of the Rings itself as well.
So it's kind of along the same lines as answering Lord of the
Rings, I guess. It's just not.

(21:17):
It's just not right. Here's a here's a question.
What if what about an old themed1 old as in this them night
Shyamalan movie? I watched that like a month ago.
But like imagine going to a beach.
You're trapped there with characters and all different
types of characters and you're aging rapidly throughout.
That'd be an interesting let's do it like I'd be I'd be hard to

(21:38):
play. I would I would find that very
difficult as a player to like. We do it like you make you make
4 versions of your character, like level 1, level 5, level 10,
level 20 and as you age you at one point hit level 20 and then
you start descending back down as you get older and older and
you. Have a right?

(21:58):
Oh, yeah. Because you're like level, Yeah,
you're level 20, yeah. You start as a child and then
you reach that peak level 20 andthen you get older and older and
you you what's it called in likea game when you D level?
Why can't I think of the right decay the?
You decay, you I. Don't know.
That's the general, that's the right kind of word decay, I
think down down to like level 1.I don't know, could be fun.

(22:21):
Kyle, I like that idea. I think we, I think I'm going
to. I'm writing that down.
We're going. To write that one down that
would keep, keep your eyes peeled on the feed guys because
that one is coming soon. Kyle, we have 4 1/2 minutes.
Have we landed on the definitiveanswer yet?
You know what, Kyle? Here's the real.
Actually, this is a terrible answer, but I'm just looking at

(22:43):
Movies Now because of Mav. This is Mav's fault and I'm just
looking at Movies Now and I'm just throwing out Riddick.
I think I'd like to play. And that's your set in the world
of Furia. Yeah, No, he's from Furia, but
they go to different, they go todifferent planets.
I don't think that we've been tohave we not, I don't think we've
been to Furia yet. The new ones coming.
Out I think that the new one is allegedly was called Furia,

(23:04):
right the 4th 1. Yeah.
Yeah, that's never going to happen.
Let's be. Is it?
I think, well, I never know whatI what's actually happening and
what's. Vin can't get Fast X2 completed.
You think Fury is going to happen?
Last I saw on Fast X2 it was. It had no script, no director
when the budget wasn't approved.He just had, he just had a video

(23:27):
with Michelle Rodriguez and they, they've said the same
thing they've been saying for like 3 years.
He's like, what do you want fromthe from fast from the finale?
And she's like bring it back to its roots.
And that's all the only thing they've said this whole time.
Bring it back to LA, bring it back to its roots.
And and then Paul, bring back Paul Walker.

(23:48):
Essentially bring back his character.
Great, then bring him back from the dead.
I what do you want? Like you can't cure your trauma
with a Fast and the Furious. Movie He will try, though he
will try until he dies, he. Will It's going to be wild.
I hope it. I hope it gets made.
I can't end on that cliffhanger that Fast X left me on.

(24:10):
I think maybe a car had blown up.
I don't even and the rock showedup at the end.
Fucking sucked. Gal Gadot showed up at the end
maybe too. Oh yeah, she's still alive.
Nobody ever dies in the franchise.
They die for a few, they die fora little bit, and they come
back, I think. Well, I do think that John Cena
is actually dead though, becauseI think he just doesn't want to

(24:31):
be. Well, his character died between
movies and an identical twin appeared or something.
Because the difference between John Cena and F9 and FX is the
same day. Those are not the same guy.
They are not the same character at all.
It's funny uncle. And the next one, the first one
is cold hearted cold killer and then he's like goofy uncle.

(24:53):
Goofy uncle who's helping his young nephew murder people.
Yeah, it's such a deranged movie.
I. It's a peacemaker.
He's. Basically.
So I guess my answer is Fast X Part 1.
I guess it's kind of the best D&D movie that's not in the D&D
universe, I would say if I had to.

(25:13):
I pick. I pick Borderlands.
Have we not talked about Borderlands Kyle, our favorite?
Honestly the best sci-fi movie too right?
Did it come up in our conversation?
It should have. It really should have been the
focus of the sci-fi. Cool, now's our chance, because
we still have a minute and 1/2 right now to talk about how I
guess Jack Black as Claptrap is really the best example of a

(25:36):
Bard ever captured on screen. I would say you know.
Really, I can't try to name the inspiration is what I get from
that. Name another character from that
movie right now. Character name.
Yeah, give me a character name from.
That movie, Kyle Doctor Linux. The sad thing is, you might be

(26:00):
right and I don't know. I am right and you can't confirm
it. I can't because you don't know.
I can name one of the character Tina because I know that from
the video game and that's like what the kid was named, I think,
in the movie Tiny Tina. Awful movie, guys.
Last thing I will shout out is my favorite thing that we've
done that's been a movie has been the 310 to Yuma and

(26:21):
Expedition Untold. That was such a fun one to do a
movie of that. Well, I wouldn't necessarily
say, hey, that's a good DND. You know, I don't necessarily
watch a movie and think this is D&D, but.
No, I don't either, which is whythis question is kind of
surprisingly hard, you know, to come up with come up with the
right answer. But I do think that that's that.
I mean, obviously I had a great time playing the, but not what

(26:45):
was it to paradise the the something 59 to paradise.
Oh. Crap, 359 to paradise?
Paradise or something? Can't be 3-9 to paradise.
Three on them both, right? 259 to paradise, I think.
That sounds right. I did have a great time doing
that. So I think that that's a great
answer as well, Kyle. And I'm going to just stick with
Guardians of the Galaxy is my locked in answer.

(27:06):
Time is up on this question. Time is up.
Luckily that wasn't. I don't really know if there is
even now that the round is over and I'm free from the
limitations of the modifiers. I don't really know if there is
a Steven Spielberg movie directed by him that I would
think has like explicit D&D energy, even though they do play
D&D in the movie. ET the one that oh crap I'm

(27:32):
going to say a non Spielberg movie again and embarrassed
myself but no Jurassic Park I think would be a good.
That one is good job. Yeah, definitely Jurassic.
Just second guess myself, OK? When you when you search a
director's movies on Google and it gives you the dumb answers at
the front, it's everything that they've produced or written.

(27:54):
It's always Spielberg has a bunch of movies where it's like
Tim Burton's Nightmare on Elm Street.
It's like Spielberg's name is above Back to the Future.
It's like Steven Spielberg presents Back to the Future, so
it's easy to associate him. It's like the director.
He's the thing facing you. Yeah.
Jurassic Park. Actually, that is a pretty good
answer. I mean, that's like the that's a

(28:14):
great. Like I don't know if if the
characters didn't remind me of DND characters, but the the
situation is a good DND situation, right?
Like Theme park with monsters gone wrong is.
It's got a fun little setup where you could have some fun in
the park before it all goes haywire, you know?
And then, then it just goes, yeah, nuts and crazy.

(28:37):
News Tel Tavern one shot coming at you, I guess.
All right, That's that was the that's the thing of the triple
threat done. Can I give myself a can I give
myself a yellow card for saying my locked in answer?
It's red one The Santa movie with the rock that came out like
last year or something. Love that movie and I was
thinking it was a DND movie whenI was watching it.

(28:59):
That's my yellow card. You're getting a red card for
that. One for the rest of the episode.
You're done. You're not Black Card.
Kyle's not allowed to speak. That was your one.
Red for red one. OK, you're fine.
Good. Good.
I I'm proud to admit that I've never seen red one.
And God willing, I never will witness Callum Drift and his

(29:22):
antics. Yeah, I don't know the names of
the characters that movie. I only know the name of the
rocks character because on DoughBoys they bring him up all the
time. They talk like Calum Drift.
JK Simmons Santa is awesome. No, it's my.
Kyle, no, I'm taking a stand. As somebody who grew up fat

(29:47):
their whole life. Santa is fat.
I will not allow for this jackedSanta bullshit, OK?
There's one rule that a fat kid can always fucking count on, and
that's like Santa, OK? You can't take it away.
It's the one time of year everybody loves the fat guy is

(30:08):
when he dresses up like Santa. Don't take it from us.
You know what, I'm not going to take that from you.
Thank you. All right, we endorse obesity
only for the sake of Santa Clauson this.
One, Santa has to be fat. I do.
I do that. That is a good thing to stand
by. I just love in that movie that
that there's no like explicit lore on how he does it with all

(30:30):
this time timey wimey stuff. It's just how does he do it?
He trains all year to do it and he does it and that's it.
They fly everywhere and he rips out the sack and just goes just
leaps from house to house and delivers all the all the Santa,
the goods and it's nothing, nothing crazy.
That's that's my favorite part of that movie, I think.

(30:52):
I do like that idea. It's like in that world, Santa
is just like a monk who has trained himself.
He really is. That's silly.
You know what, Kyle? Speaking of Santa Claus, that
reminds me, reminds me of the holidays and Kyle.
This episode marks the first TTTTTTTTTS of November, and as
we both know, November has a pretty big holiday in it, right?

(31:16):
Yes, yeah, Thanksgiving. Talking about no, you know.
What? No shave November.
No, no shave November. No Shave November and in honor
of that great tradition and the tradition of the wise bearded
wizard in D and DI, have prepared for you a little quiz

(31:37):
on pop culture magic users with facial hair.
Excellent. Do you have what it takes to
identify these wand flicking, follicle licking, magic tricking
icons, Kyle? Yes, I do.
I sure hope so because I wrote this about 30 minutes ago before
we started recording. Am I getting pictures?
What am I getting? No, no, no, no.

(31:58):
I've written, I've written a series of little rhyming clues
for you, Kyle. Gotcha.
OK. And these are bearded pop
culture icons. Bearded magic users because you
think D&D, you think Wizards with long beards, of course.
So these are all magic users that have beards.
They're not. Some of them are thicker beards

(32:19):
than others, but there are beards on all of these people.
OK, only 5 questions should be easy peasy.
You got these, no problem. Ready.
And what's at stake you're saying to yourself right now?
Yeah. What's at stake?
I will never be able to grow a full beard if I lose.

(32:43):
Kyle. But if I win, I'll be able to
yes. So here it comes.
This is this moment. This.
Is my moment. He's going to grow a beard the
instant he gets this. It's.
Going to be Tim Allen the Santa Claus like growing immediately.
Oh. Yes, in the in the in the
mirror. That's my Santa hashtag.
Yes, my Santa is Tim Allen in the Santa Claus.

(33:05):
Scott Calvin, He did the work and he gained the weight.
OK, they made him fat. Tim Allen.
Really. But Scott, I was.
Going to say I was like, I don't.
Think wouldn't it be amazing if you found out that?
They filmed half of it with him and fit and then they did a.
Full they did a full castaway which paused production for like

(33:28):
6 months for Tom Hanks to lose weight but they did it the other
direction. They incredible.
Yeah awesome. That's cool.
OK, Kyle question #1 in this No Shave November bearded Wizard
quiz, he's looking for love. He's ancient and mean, so stay
far away if your eyes are green.To get what he wants, he turned

(33:51):
Chinatown to rubble. And if Kyle doesn't get this,
he's in big trouble. Gosh, I'm going to need to have.
I'm going to have to get his name.
I know this is from big trouble in little China.
You are. Correct about that and they say
his name. Celia didn't know his name
either earlier when I asked, butI told her they say his name
about 100 times in that movie. They say it a lot.

(34:13):
Yeah. It's.
It's not. It's.
It should be very easy. As someone who loves this movie
and frequently talks about how much he loves this movie but
maybe hasn't seen it actually inlike 10 years.
Gosh, it's Towland tail and it'sthe gosh, it's feel like it's

(34:36):
like Towley or something like that, but it's I feel like I'm
so close, but maybe. Does anybody know what like do
bases sing high or low? Does anyone know if they sing
high or low? Low low, low, low band.
Oh, low pan Kyle, that's. Correct.
Ding Ding Ding, Tylese, the girlfrom Avatar who does that is

(35:00):
acrobatics. You get those two mixed up all
the time. They're so similar.
I mean one of them is James Hong, an ancient old man makeup.
The other one is a sprightly team animated girl, so I
understand Lee. The Lee, the low, the low pan,
low pan. Very similar.

(35:21):
Woo. Way to go, Kyle.
One point. Easy.
These are all pretty easy. I'm not going.
To need to watch that movie again.
We should watch it. We should.
I almost answered it as a potential like DND vibe movie,
but I didn't want to bring it upknowing that it was on the quiz
as well. You know, like the monsters and
mysticism of that world are veryfun.

(35:42):
Want to have something with thatsort of tone?
Also very comedic and goofy but kind of not like AD and D
adventure in that the main hero doesn't like accomplish
anything. Here's what I'm thinking.
I think we play as a party of like level 6 characters and the
action guy is level like 1 and he always takes the lead.

(36:02):
Yeah, perfect. He's like, I got this.
He steps forward and just gets knocked out immediately.
He drops his gun or whatever andhe is not part of the fight at
all. Except he's good at the he's
like he catches the bottle right, like he does the 1
reflex. He's got that one good thing

(36:22):
that I. It's all in the reflex.
In that movie. Catches the knife and throws it.
Back he's like 99.9% useless except he's got great reflexes.
It's all in the reflexes. All right, Kyle, question #2 oh
gosh, no, wait, before we ask question #2 we never asked the
Discord to roll. They need to roll for the third

(36:43):
question. Shoot.
Yeah, we gotta do that. Shoot.
I don't even know how long to stretch this quiz out 'cause I
don't know how many minutes they've rolled.
Should I roll? Should I ask in the lounge I
think? In the lounge 'cause this is the
first one of the month, which means it goes.
Oh yeah, it's all it's the free,it's the regular fee, the
freebie come. On you freebie free listeners

(37:04):
out there. You free listeners are like man
I love this episode once a month.
I wish I could have it four times a month.
I wish I had four times as much of this.
You could you could you could up.
To five times as much if it's a month that has five Mondays.
Oh boy, I haven't even thought about that someone.

(37:24):
We can't stress how little we'vethought about everything on this
show, guys. And then AD 20.
Can someone roll AD 100 and thenAD 20?
There we go. I bet they can.
I bet they can. All right.
The question has been posed. We await that dice roll.
Let's go. While we await the answer to
that question, let's get the answer to this question.
Folks. A magical master who's one of

(37:46):
your peers. He gained power through
teachings of mystical seers. He's supremely talented, that's
to be sure. Yet his hypothetical losses
total 14,000,604. I I'm not picking up on any of
these references. Interesting.

(38:06):
A magical master who's one of your peers.
You see like that just makes me confused.
I'm like in my real life. Is this what I'm thinking my
real life gained? Power through teachings of
mystical seers. He's supremely talented, that's
to be sure. Yet his hypothetical losses
total 14,000,604. I literally am getting zero.

(38:33):
It's, it's like a, it's like there's fish all swimming in the
pond. There's so they're, they're
right there. My lure's right there and
nothing's biting. Kai, can I ask you what you do
for a living? Oh.
I am AI, am a doctor, I'm a fan.OK, interesting.
I'd maybe start there. It's Doctor Strange.
Wow. Ding, Ding, Ding.

(38:54):
Doctor 14,000,000 different possibilities and this is the
one where I get it. Literally say one of my peers.
I'm like thinking like real lifepeople is where my brain goes.
And then I just couldn't get past that.
I was like, I don't know any real life Wizards.

(39:15):
Damn, well you got there eventually, so it's fine you
that that counts. The Sears thing too.
There are they Sears and the. I think they are.
He sees the future. It just was the best thing that
rhymed with peers, like the Sorcerer's Supreme talks about
in Avengers End Game. When the Hulk shows up, he talks

(39:36):
to the Sorceress Supreme at thattime, Tilda Swinton's character,
and she's like, Stephen Strange isn't supposed to be here for
five more years. So I use that as my
justification that she is a seerof the future.
That's too bad Sears couldn't see the future because they went
bankrupt five years ago. 10 years ago?
How long is it? Only five years ago, 10 years.

(39:57):
Ago. It's got to be more than five
years. Probably, I think Sears one of
those places he used to be able to order like a house a build
your own house kit. Yeah, I know that.
So awesome, everybody out there who has to go on YouTube and
watch the Buster Keaton film oneweek, I think it's called.
It's a silent movie about, it's not like 20 minutes long, but

(40:19):
it's the him and his new wife ordering like a one of those
house kits and putting it together.
And it's just, it's very goofy and cartoony and lots of things
go wrong when building it. My favorite joke that I'll spoil
right now is when he's needs to go upstairs on the House, so he
grabs the like railing on the porch that is like pronged and

(40:40):
just grabs it and sets it up on the side of the house and climbs
up that. Just good stuff like that.
Lots of little sight gag visual bits.
Watch it. Do yourself a favor #3 in this
quiz, Kyle. Mm hmm.
Mm hmm. I don't think you're going to
get this one. I'm going to be honest with you.
This is probably the one that I think is the hardest, just not
to know what it's from. But if you could pull the name,

(41:02):
I'd be really surprised. OK, I have.
No idea, I'm about to rock this.A beautiful beard that's tiny
and thick adorns this wizard. In his world of brick, a shave
for him is cheap. No need to haggle, just give the
beard a tug and steer clear of the crackle.

(41:25):
No clue, I got nothing 0. Nothing.
Zero clue, folks. This is of course the wizard the
Truvius from The Lego Movie. OK, darn it, what's the craggle?
That's the crazy glue that they're trying to avoid sticking
everything together in the movie.

(41:45):
That's the main object that the bad guy wants is the craggle.
Well, I got it wrong. Everything is awful.
That's what I say about. That everything is awful great.
Did anybody answer the the role by the way?
We did. We got Dane's role.
All right, I have to. Look, Dane was.
Much time you put OK, cool, cool, cool.

(42:06):
This is going to work out beautifully.
It's going to be beautiful. Beautiful.
OK #4 so far you're 2 for three,so you got to get one more.
To be able to get one more and Ican grow a beard.
Yep. Heck yeah.
At first you might argue that this one's not fair.
And to that I just say hello. There is proof that you must not

(42:29):
be knowing this dude is a wizard.
Just ask Uncle Owen. Hello there, old, old Ben
Kenobi. Hell yeah, it is old Ben Kenobi
himself, he says that crazy old wizard so counts to me.

(42:50):
All right, I can grow a beard now.
Way to go. That hello there meme was pretty
strong for a while. Oh yeah, hello.
There it is. I mean, it's iconic, I think
because it, it's like a meme that can cross like 30 years of
time, right? He says it in A New Hope, and
then he says it in Revenge of the Sith in these very memorable

(43:11):
ways. I'm pretty sure he he says it in
this, the Ben Kenobi series. I think he does.
Did you watch that? No, I did not.
I had, I guess I would say I hadmore respect for my time and
everyone involves time than to watch.
I watched it for Ewan McGregor, I really did.
I but also. Because I like Ewan McGregor and

(43:31):
I didn't want to feel sad this is what happened to him.
I, I, I'm, I'm still a Star Warshopeful that every time
something comes out, it's going to change things for me.
But yeah, the, the reality, I love the Mandalorian.
I'm excited for that movie when that comes out, but and or I
haven't. Watched.

(43:51):
And you know what is great aboutthat Mandalorian and Grogu movie
they struck while the iron was hot white.
Not everybody can't stop talkingabout Mandalorian and Grogu to
this day. So it's great.
Oh man, woo Hoo. I got to tell you, we know that
I have a fraught history and relationship with Star Wars.

(44:12):
It has recently increased to full on vehement rage again
because I read an article that Adam Driver was working with
Steven Soderbergh to make a KyloRen movie that was supposed to
be awesome according to both of them, and it got dumped and I
would have loved that fucking movie.
I know I saw that. I saw that and I saw Steven

(44:36):
Soderbergh's name and I was like, I think Scott is going to
feel one way or the other on this.
Either so stoked or just like, glad that that would never have
happened if it. Was like a director who only
makes like, you know, who's likeTarantino who's only going to
make like 10 movies. I'm like, I don't want to waste
one on Star Wars, but Soderberghmakes like 8 movies a year

(44:56):
despite the fact that he retireda decade ago.
So anything he wants to do, I'm fine with it.
At this point. He's he's left every sort of
like personal message. I feel like a director could.
So this, it's all just fun and games, you know, he's got like
40 movies. Yeah.
How often? Here's a question for you.
How? Because this, this is relatively
frequently for me. This is maybe twice a month that

(45:19):
happens to me. I think about The Force Awakens.
I think about watching that trailer and watching that movie
and how much hope I had, how much A New Hope I had for Star
Wars. Does that happen?
That it's like a month or twice a month thing for me where I
think about it. I don't know if it's once or
twice a month, but it is fairly regularly that I'll think back

(45:40):
on how hyped I was for that movie.
I saw that movie 10 times in theaters and I was like, and I
recognize every person who's like, it's just the New Hope
again. Luckily I have brain cells and I
know you don't just watch moviesfor the plot.
So they're a collection of a lotof different elements of
artistry. So it's not a big deal to me
that it recycles the plot because I was so hopeful that

(46:03):
they were going to that we were OK, we're going to start.
We're going to start at the samepoint and we're going to really
blast off and kind of unexpecteddirections from their new new
ideas, new variations on the themes.
And it felt like we were maybe going to get that with The Last
Jedi and then and. Then and then what diarrhoea at

(46:24):
the end that just oh the back back back pedal people are still
alive, it's fine somehow. Palpatine returned.
Somehow Ben Kenobi returned. Or not Ben Ben, whatever.
Whatever Adam Driver's character's name is.
Oh, no, Ben, Ben, he's Ben. He's.
Ben Ben Solo Ben Solo the Somehow Ben Solo returned with.

(46:45):
Because obviously Leia would name her son after the old
wizard man that she never met. He died on the Death Star saving
her. Leia.
Yeah, did Leia ever meet Obi Wan?
Did you not watch Ben Kenobi? Oh.
You're right. Sorry, you're right.
I forgot that that's the retcon attempt to make that make sense.

(47:07):
I'm sure that she named her kid after him.
You're right. You're.
Right. She's in the, she's in that
baby. She is.
I know that only because it feltlike for a little bit the only
way they knew how to do Star Wars was like, just take a
person and put them with a childyou.
Know. Like.
I bet you feel real dumb right now not knowing that that was
the his secret, the history. I do you're.

(47:29):
Right, they Florida State tied it together, so I shouldn't
know. Kyle, we got to get moving on
this last question. You know you've already won the
game. Though at first he claims to be
a trusted advisor. I must urge Hamed Bablonius the
second to be a little bit wiser.Thin, pointy beard with a red

(47:49):
and black Cape. He doesn't need a scepter to
show he's a snake. What?
What? That pablonious Whatever.
Yeah, I knew that name would getyou.
He's a snake Voldemort. Final answer.
Kyle, I'm sorry, that is incorrect.

(48:10):
Now Voldemort doesn't have a beard.
He. Does not have a beard.
I don't know what you were thinking.
There is a pretty famous guy whocan show you how snake like he
can be who has a beard. His name is Jafar.
Oh, Jafar, I I honestly didn't. I got so confused to whatever
name you said. Mod Ahmed Bablonius the Second,
which is apparently the Sultan'sreal name according to the

(48:30):
Disney Wiki. My favorite spontane.
You got is our friend there? What was his name?
No. I got to pull up the Sultan real
quick and see if there's any good comments on his Disney wiki
page. What was our friend, the guy
that always commented? What was his name?
Harrison. Harrison.
I think Harrison might have beenin there.
I think you might be right. There are.

(48:53):
Oh, Kyle, I have terrible news. You can't read the comments on
the Disney Wiki anymore without signing in and I don't have an
account. You don't have an account.
I've got an account. This is a good use of this
podcast time. I think right now we need to
look up the 12 comments that have been left on the Sultans
page on disney.fandom.com. The Disney wiki.

(49:14):
I'm sure I have a login for that.
I remember, I think I do remember you, you making a login
at one point. But yeah, I was pretty surprised
to see it said his his full namewas hold on, there was he had a
nickname that it said somewhere to.
I want to find that. Where does it say his name?
Anywhere full name Sultan Ahmed Bablonius.
The second other names Little Bobo is the first thing that he

(49:37):
has Little Bobo. I did not in fact have an an
account, but now guess what I do?
Now he just, guys, just real quick.
He's just got to sign up for an account real quick.
Don't worry, no, I'm already signed up.
It's I'm lightning fast. I sign up for so many things.
I give out so much information. Why is he so skinny in the 2019

(50:02):
film? I don't.
Remember. Is that one of the comments?
Is he skinny? He pulled JK Simmons.
You know this guy's supposed to be he.
Was jacked. They had a jacked Sultan.
Oh my gosh, There's a Have you ever seen the Sultan mascot
before? Because there's a picture of the
Sultan, the Sultan mascot, at the Disney park section of this.

(50:23):
Everyone should should go there and see this image.
It is terrifying. Yeah, it is scary.
That would be not fun to see in real life.
He has the look on his face likehe's like someone's just pulled
their pants down in front of himis like he looks very.
His eyes are wide, his mouth is agape and he's looking down like

(50:44):
in a way that is, Oh my God, like, you know, scared.
It's. It's we got the cutest Disney
dad winky face comment. See, whoever wrote that comment
hasn't seen Poseidon, right? Or what's his name?
No, what's the Triton dude? Triton.
Sorry. Yeah, Triton.
It's not a great. God.

(51:05):
That pizza pup 12 just says I like I like biscuits.
This is great. I love these comments sections.
If you ever find yourself with some spare time, make sure you
head to the Disney Wiki and justcheck out the comments on.
The more obscure the page, the really the better the comments
you're going to get it. Yeah, and but yeah, I mean,

(51:26):
there's a lot of good comments. Here's a great 1.
He may be a good, good hearted man and a loving family man, but
he is honestly more of a fool ofa Sultan and does not
demonstrate much in the ways of qualifying as a Sultan mentally.
Let's look at how he is mostly seen playing with his toys and
trying to marry his daughter offto random strangers.
He's never even once heard of Prince Ali and yet he's ready to

(51:48):
hand her over. Only twice in the movie did we
ever see him demonstrate his powers as the Sultan, and that
was his up braiding of Jafar andchanging the marriage law.
Yet both of them were to demonstrate his care of his
daughter. There's little evidence of him
ever showing his tending to the major problems of the whole
Kingdom, such as poverty and crime.
Think of the children going through the garbage.

(52:10):
I'm not finished. OK, there's we're about halfway
through, so please don't interrupt me.
I just wanted to say yes, I agree.
Oh gotcha. OK.
I could never be a pastor because people are saying Amen
from the crowd. I would just I got out there.
Not. Yet think of the children going

(52:32):
through the garbage in Aladdin'sconstant thievery to survive.
Doesn't this make you wonder howhe manages to rule his people?
This opinion is based on the original movie and not the later
franchise. They have that in parentheses.
Parentheses so. Because they they're worried
because they haven't seen returnof Jafar or the king of King of
Thieves that maybe there's a lotof content in there of the

(52:53):
Sultan governing and doing a good job of it.
And so they just want to put putout that they don't want an
embarrassing Ben Kenobi situation like I have.
They're trying to cover their bases.
I can let them know, rest assured, I don't even think the
Sultan is in return of Jafar. Maybe I.
Don't remember, I don't like return of Jafar that much.

(53:15):
No, you shouldn't. Yeah, because no one.
Shouldn't. Here's the final sentence and
the upcoming remake. It would be wise to observe how
the Sultan rules his people if Disney expands upon it.
I don't think that we get that. I'm sorry.
Giant white Snake. I don't think that you're going
to be satisfied with the remake if that's what you're really
hoping for. Is how the Sultan rolls is.

(53:38):
I was really hoping they would delve into that situation, Kyle,
now that we've successfully, I don't know, wasted everyone we
got, we got our, we got our next, our next question that
we're discussing right for 10 minutes.
I believe we are to discuss up. Give me one second.
I have to add the time on my timer.

(53:59):
We are to discuss question #27 as rolled by Dane.
If you could have an IRL score of 20 in any stat, which would
you choose and why go? We roll Initiative CEO stock.
First yeah 10 we have 10 minutes.
We don't need to roll in this right?

(54:20):
This this guy loves to roll initiative.
Freaking DM over here, guys. Not a big fan of dagger heart, I
guess, because he just can't stand this non initiative system
we've got going every year, man,This is an this is an I mean,
what are our what's? Well, first, Kyle, I think we
should start by laying out what the six stats are and what they

(54:40):
do. So first we have what's for
strength on the sheet? No, no, you have to read this in
that voice. I'm sorry I'm I will not listen.
1st we have strength on the sheet.
I may need to actually pull up acharacter sheet 'cause I
frequently forget what they all are.
Strength should determine your carrying capacity and your
ability to do physical damage aswell as execute at athletic

(55:03):
maneuvers. There's also the Dexterity stat,
which as we all know relates to how nimble and quick you are
often used for ranged attacks and to decide how good you are
at dodging incoming attacks. There is of course, the Charisma
which I'm oozing with, which is your ability to persuade others
to do, often applied to abilities like intimidation,

(55:28):
persuasion, deception, your basic abilities to socialize.
There's also the intelligence stat, something that there's
very little of in this. Call often.
That is should be pretty self-explanatory unless your
intelligence is incredibly low and in which case you shouldn't
be listening to this wisdom. Unlike intelligence, it's more
like your worldly knowledge I guess.

(55:49):
I would say you're sort of just intrinsic feelings, ability to
kind of suss out what's what's happening.
You know, it's it's investigation versus perception.
You know, your perception is just sort of what innately you
see versus taking an active role.
That's more of your wisdom. And all that's left is your
Constitution modifier, which of course mainly determines your

(56:11):
health and comes in play in somesaving throws, but doesn't have
any specific skills attached to it.
Wow, that's great. You should do a radio show in
that voice. What's the opposite of Delilah,
where it's like I can just listen to Delilah for hours?
Yeah, yeah. That's.
Good talking. About your D&D experience.

(56:35):
I think, OK, let's get down. That's a great summary though.
That's a great summary of those scores.
Great job. Honestly, I know what my answer
I think is for this I. Don't know what I want because
they're they could all be very useful, but I'd like.
To I think there is one score that can get you the furthest in
life and those things like that can that that just across the

(56:57):
board, if you are good at this one thing, you're going to
succeed wherever you go. And that is charisma to me.
Charisma, you know, it's if you are a charismatic person, if you
can, you know, talk with people,I guess if you're thinking about
this like persuading them to do things or like deceiving people,
you know, if you're a lot more evil or whatever.

(57:18):
But if you're just a guy that people like, then you're going
to make it far. You know, it doesn't matter if
you're intelligent or Wiz or wise or you know whatever,
people are going to like you andyou're going to be able to make
it far. That's why you like, you know,
attractiveness is always like people who are attractive make
it farther in life. That explains a lot about my

(57:39):
situation. Yes, I agree.
But but I think that that's whatI would choose.
I think it'd be the most fun step to have a 20 in, you know,
to just like have that. All like real life.
I mean like D&D. And it's like, I have a like a
20 in, in Charisma is pretty powerful for social situations

(58:00):
in D&D. If that even translated a little
bit to real life, that would be so good to just be like, like
anytime you want to discount on a product, you know, just to be
able to charm somebody to get tospend less.
You're right that that's probably the most powerful skill
for like modern society because as they say, it's not what you
know, it's who you know, right? And so if everybody likes you,

(58:24):
then that's definitely somethinggood.
But I do think my only other like thought, I mean, all of
them would be good, obviously. But like, who wants like I
don't, I don't personally need strength.
You know, I'm not frequently looking to lift heavy things or
to punch things and do a lot of damage to that.
But no, honestly I was thinking strength would be my second one

(58:46):
because the carrying capacity double, you know, just having a
high carrying capacity, I want to be able to carry stuff
around. I think that strength would be a
really like, that's like, that'dbe fucking cool, man.
But like to be, yeah. So what else?
Are you going to do? Feels more like you could use it
in modern society though, you know like right?

(59:08):
Even intelligence is. Knowing how to pull off, I
assume it's like D&D level intelligence.
I have a 20. I'm like insanely smart, you
know? Like I could start a tech
company. I could rival Elon Musk, my
hero. See Intelligence, I, I interpret
intelligence is like having the ability to learn things and
master them, right? Like a wizard is intelligent

(59:31):
because they sit down and they study spells and they have the
ability to cast these spells and, and do well in them and,
and, and do well in them. Artificers, you know, they have
that engineering, you know, mindthat can create things with
devices and magic items. So intelligence to me is it like

(59:51):
just knowing everything. It's just like, hey, if I
approach something I don't know,I could spend the time to really
to for me, it's like to to know it to be able to do it.
But I feel like, I feel like I, I, I kind of agree with that.
But the way that the stats even work in D&D sort of goes against
that. Because when you make like an
intelligence stat check, it's always known knowledge.

(01:00:13):
It's like I make a history checkbased on my intelligence is how
much I know, you know, not like my aptitude for knowledge
necessarily. But even still, even if we are
saying it's just aptitude, I think having the maximum amount
of aptitude a person could have to learn.
Would be nice to have. Somebody who does have a general
thirst for knowledge would be pretty potent.

(01:00:36):
This podcast would be a lot better if I could understand
everything about audio and visual technology.
Right? Like.
And you ever have that prior youwould have.
Another tech issue they would all be.
Would you choose intelligence and would you choose tell
intelligence over wisdom? I think I personally value would

(01:00:57):
value having the intelligence boost more than the wisdom
boost. I mean wisdom, they're all,
they're all good to have. Honestly though, I'm the
opposite. I want to say Wisdom might be my
least the one I'm least interested in.
You said strength is your number2.
I think dexterity would be like my number two.

(01:01:17):
I was like. Really.
Oh, Dexterity is so low. Dexterity.
Is so low for you? I did.
Not care about dexterity. I, you know, I, I've got, I've
got tools to help with me with my dexterity.
My handwriting is terrible. I type that that fixes that
issue for me. That's a that when I think of
dexterity, I think of of writingfor some reason.
I think there's that. I mean, I think of liveness

(01:01:40):
speediness, but also think abouthere's an underrated element and
I think this should actually come up in D and DI think
playing an instrument should involve dexterity in some way.
It shouldn't just be a performance check to, like, play
a guitar. You need to be dead to be able
to play. It's good guitar, you know.
So I think that that would be imagine, imagine what level of

(01:02:00):
piano player you could become with perfect dexterity.
Yeah, you know. I don't actually think that
strength would be my second. I just think having the caring
it wouldn't be bottom of my listfor sure.
Well, that's I do think that I would choose intelligence over
wisdom because I think it would be frustrating to be very wise
but not intelligent, you know, people.
Recognize all these problems andI don't know how to solve them.

(01:02:23):
It's like I feel like this is the right way to go and like you
got that down for you. But if you like trying to figure
something out and learn something and you have a
difficulty, you know, it's hard to do.
I don't know that's I do. Worry that intelligence could be
sort of a double edged sword to like only crank up your
intelligence a lot. I worry that it might make you
see the world too clearly. And it could, I honestly worry

(01:02:46):
it would maybe make me suicidal if I became like maximal
intelligence, you know, like, well, here's all the things that
are awful in the world I can't do anything about.
I'm smart enough to know that I can't.
So here it is. I don't know.
There's a there's a character, one of the superheroes on the
boys is she's all the only thingshe is, is like the smartest
person in the world. And that would be an interesting

(01:03:08):
she's, she's like basically chaotic about it too.
She's just like kind of wants tocontrol things and, you know,
because of that. It's interesting to me.
Basically just like tests out theories that she think will
work and then they do. I think it's her vibe.
But but also but also she has tobut but this character also gets
lobotomized because she like can't get herself out of her

(01:03:30):
head. And so like she sleeps as one of
the characters who comes in and lobotomizes her so she can have
a good time and like and so that's that's your point is
something you can. See, it would be impossible to
live that way. Yeah.
Wow, that's interesting with that.
Yeah, and then her brain grows back and then she like, gets
back her full skills. But sometimes she just likes to
feel dumb. And yeah, it's.

(01:03:53):
Like a tear of Angie and good day, bad day such you know, you
just got to bottomize yourself for a bad day.
It's interesting to me. Neither of us even suggested
constitution. Only 10 seconds left but like, I
don't know what I mean. I guess you could like eat
really bad stuff for you and youwouldn't get sick.
I lived in 100, yeah. I lived in 100.
Hold your breath a long time. It's like those.

(01:04:15):
Kyle. There it is.
Is no more discussion, Kyle, This is is that it?
That's three questions. That's it.
That's three questions. That's that's the triple threat.
That's the triple threat has been completed.
Thank you for listening. If you're listening to this,
hey, you're probably you could be in the free feed right now.
So I want you to do yourself a favor.
Look in the description, click on over to that Patreon sign up

(01:04:36):
so you can get more of these episodes if you want them.
And if you don't, that's fine too.
Ceramica, our adventure will be coming to you relatively soon.
People keep asking me when and we keep saying soon and it keeps
being true soon. Keep your eyes peeled on the
feed for that coming. Everybody.
Thank you to me for the theme song.

(01:04:56):
Thank you to for the artwork. I'll fill that in later.
And actually also thank you to me for the artwork, 'cause I
made the artwork for this show and added thank you to Zayzar
and thank you to me for everything.
I'm great. End of episode.
Thank you. Bye.