March 26, 2025 • 17 mins
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Healthcare providers silently carry an emotional burden that few outside the profession truly understand. In this raw and honest conversation, we pull back the curtain on a critical survival skill that medical professionals develop: emotional compartmentalization.
When you're coding a pediatric patient one moment and offering a warm blanket to another patient ten minutes later, you learn to switch emotional gears instantaneously. This ability to separate feelings from actions becomes second nature, but at what cost? As we reveal, "We put things away every day that we work," creating what feels like a backpack full of stones that grows heavier with each unprocessed experience.
Drawing from our combined decades in trauma ICUs and emergency departments, we explore how providers cope with witnessing more death and suffering than anyone should bear. The dark humor that outsiders might find disturbing serves as an essential survival mechanism. When we say, "We become emotionally detached because that's how we deal with things," it's not callousness—it's preservation.
This emotional compartmentalization inevitably bleeds into personal relationships. Many healthcare workers find themselves sitting in their cars after shifts, desperately trying to decompress before walking through their front doors. Family members wonder why we aren't more affected by tragedies or seem dismissive of minor complaints. The truth? We've trained ourselves to separate emotions from actions to function effectively in crisis.
For healthcare professionals listening, our most important message is this: give yourself grace. The emotions wouldn't exist if it wasn't okay to feel them. And our strongest recommendation? "Get into therapy before you think you need it"—because by the time you recognize you're drowning, you're already deep in the weeds.
Ready to prioritize your mental wellbeing? Reach out to us at hamiltontelehealthcom or charihealth.com and take the first step toward balancing professional compartmentalization with emotional health.
Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode
of tattoos and telehealth.
I'm Kelly White with KariHealth and, of course, I'm
joined by my fabulous colleague,ms Nicole Baldwin.
Excuse me, this visit does, orthis podcast does not constitute
a patient provider relationship.
So last week we had anincredible opportunity to visit
with a professional aboutburnout.
(00:35):
But there are some things thatkind of come along with that
that we wanted to highlighttoday and, nicole, this is
something that's very kind ofnear and dear to you.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
You want to take off and chat about that yeah, so
something that, as we are, kellyand I both come from trauma ICU
ER, we come from that world andprobably one of the most
difficult things is we've seenmore death than anyone should
(01:06):
ever have to see, right, thepolice officers, the firemen,
the nurses, the doctors.
We see more of that than anyonecan probably even imagine, and
especially working through COVID.
But even before that, you knowwe see people at their at their
worst, right when, when, whenyou're at your worst, you're in
the ER, right, or you know wesee people at their at their
worst right, when, when, whenyou're at your worst, you're in
(01:28):
the ER, right, or you'rephysically physically and
mentally at your worst yeah.
Both, yeah, both of those forsure.
And so as a, as a healthcareprovider, we become very I don't
know if I want to say I'vebecome and this is like just in
life in general, not necessarilyjust at the hospital, but we
(01:53):
become very like where we keepour emotions.
We're very good at stop movingon, stop what we're doing moving
on.
And that comes from being inone room where we're coding a
pediatric patient or not, itdoesn't matter, an adult and
then the next room, over 10minutes later, it's a patient
who we're, you know, trying togive a warm blanket to and a
(02:15):
turkey sandwich.
But you don't carry right, youdon't carry that same emotion in
one room that you carried inthe next.
And so, let's say, we aretrying to save a patient, and
then our next patient is, let'ssay, you know, a 10 year old
girl with asthma attack who'snot necessarily in life,
(02:36):
threatening danger.
But we don't bring that same.
We come in with a positiveattitude, with a a gentle spirit
, at the same time understandingthat we just came from a
situation where we were tryingto save a life and things were
very, very grim, dire.
Maybe they died, maybe theydidn't.
Regardless, we go from suchdire adrenaline situations that
(03:03):
literally life and death to inthe snap of a finger.
We're in front of a patientwhere our smile, in our, the way
that we interact with them, issuper important.
It's super important to the waythat they see this.
Uh, visits, you know, nobodywants to go to the ER and have a
, a grouchy provider, you know,nurse, doctor, whatever, and so
(03:25):
we try to make them to be aswarm as possible so that they're
not scared.
Right, so we've become, theysay, like the ER nurses, we
become jaded, right, we, we, webecome jaded and nothing really
bothers us.
And I, and and it's not true,but it is true, you know, it's
like we, we are trained to, tofeel, we, you know, we're in a
(03:48):
situation we feel one way and inthe snap of a finger, we're
expected to and not expected to.
But we should not saying it'sright or wrong.
We go to another room where wehave to be like, you know,
because that's what's in thebest interest of our patients,
and so we always want to takecare of patients in the best way
.
That's, that's best for them,and in one room it may be one
(04:10):
thing, and then the next roomit's best for them, and in one
room it may be one thing, andthen the next room it's a
completely different situation,and so I think, as providers, we
get good at nothing reallyaffecting us too much from an
emotional standpoint, and Ithink that we struggle with that
and it carries into our homelives and it carries into our
personal life as well.
(04:31):
What are your thoughts on that?
Am I rambling here?
What are your thoughts on that?
Speaker 1 (04:34):
No, I think I think you've hit the nail on the head,
but I think that what'simportant for um not only other
providers to hear us talk about,but is but for the public in
general to hear us say is thatwe do care, we do have feelings
and we do take that home homeand while we are expected to
turn that off and go to the nextroom and turn that off and go
to the next room and turn thatoff and go to the next room,
(04:55):
that does weigh on us and overtime you know that contributes
to like we talked about lastweek with melissa um contributes
to burnout, and I think that itjust goes back to showing how
critical it is for providers tobe able to recognize that in
themselves so they can reach outfor help, so they can reach out
(05:16):
to someone to be able to sharethose emotions with, because as
providers I don't know aboutUnicle, but there were so many
nights when and I say nightsbecause by the end of your shift
it is night to come home andleave it at the door.
You pull in the garage and yousit in your car for an extra two
or three minutes because you'retrying to decompress and you
have to leave it at the doorbefore you walk into your family
(05:38):
, for whatever happened and thatis, it is a lot and it is
significant and I think that weas providers take for granted
that over the years of doingthis work we learn to cope with
what's happening from one roomto the next, to the next, you
know, like whether that's in theER, whether that's in the ICU,
or you know, when I finished upmy in-hospital career in
(05:59):
neurosurgery, you know we mayhave a gunshot victim in OR1.
And then turn right around andhave just your day-to-day bread
and butter spinal fusion comingup next.
You know, and after you walkedout of this very traumatic, very
, very bloody, very terrible,emotional, everybody's on a high
(06:22):
, from this gunshot to the head.
Now you have to regroup andstep back and then go to pre-op
and see the family and smile andtalk about the spinal fusion
and do all the things and you'rejust like you're still running,
your adrenaline is still going,you're still literally covered
in the blood of the patient youwere just with and it makes it
very hard.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
I think we, we, we don't have time to decompress
and we don't have time to dealwith things, and so it's just
like carrying this heavybackpack, you know, a stone goes
in the back.
My pastor was talking about onetime, about how we carry things
that we weren't meant to carry,and these are little things
that, because we don't have timeto deal with, maybe, maybe,
maybe we feel like everybodytried to die on us today, right,
(07:01):
but when we go home, our kidsstill want uh, they're super
happy to see us, you know, um,you know what's for dinner, you
know.
So you just put it and you justput it away, you just put it in
the back, you just put it inyour backpack and you just, and
you just truck on, and overyears and years and years, we
just it's all just, you justnever have the time to
(07:26):
decompress and deal becauseyou're running, because it it
just the nature of the beast,and so I'm it's not that we are
saying, um, that it's bad orit's good or indifferent, it
just is like it.
Just it just is.
And I think awareness forproviders to say it's okay to
feel overwhelmed, it's okay tofeel, um, just like you've kind
(07:51):
of walled off.
And I think that that's wheretherapy as we met with Melissa
last week therapy for providersis super important because we
put things away.
Every day that we work, we areputting things.
You know, maybe one patient,one patient, cuss you out from
up one side and down the otherbecause maybe they weren't, you
know, you know have liver issuesand they're not in the right
(08:13):
mind, or maybe they are in theright mind, they're just mean.
But then you go to the nextpatient and it's a sweet little
lady you just want to take homewith you, right?
So it's so polar opposites, thedealings that we deal with and
we have no time to compress, andso sometimes that comes out at
home in frustration.
(08:34):
It comes out with, you know,over time.
But eventually we do get jadedand it's just our coping, it's
the way that we cope, going fromone thing to the next, without
any explanation, withoutanything, just, you're just like
a robot, right, you're justgoing, but robots don't have
those emotions.
(08:54):
So, you know, it's, um, it'sdefinitely difficult.
We become emotionless, almostwe don't.
We, you know, we can't becrying.
If we're trying to, we can't becrying, we can't be falling
apart, right?
So how do you?
You know, nurses will jokeabout things and people say
that's morbid.
But then doctors too, you know,we'll joke about things that
(09:17):
normal people would joke about,or we'll, you know, make a funny
over something that really, tonormal people, isn't funny.
But when you're in this world,things it's just how we cope,
it's just how we cope, and so Ithink that therapy is a really
good thing.
Um, you?
Speaker 1 (09:35):
know, I think my mom used to get incredibly mad at me
whenever I first came out ofschool and became an ICU nurse
and those first couple of yearsof learning kind of how to cope
with that and how to deal withthe emotions that came along
with it.
With that, and how to deal withthe emotions that came along
with it, you know I would.
I learned how from those oldernurses and they were amazing.
(09:56):
They were incredible.
They took me under their wingand taught me these things.
But, as you said you, you learnto joke and you learn to use
that as your tool to get throughday to day.
But things would fascinate me,like you know, the, the major
triple A that ruptured when itcame through the you know what I
mean Like the little things.
You're just like, wow, that isso cool.
I got to see this today and Igot to see that today and my mom
(10:17):
would get furious with mebecause she'd be like that
person was suffering or thatperson's family was so upset and
how can you be excited aboutthat and how can you be?
That's terrible.
I'm like, well, yeah, that'strauma.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
I love it, yeah, but for me it was exciting because I
was a new nurse and I waslearning and it was cool and
even all the way up until I leftthe hospital setting in
neurosurgery.
I know how tragic a gunshotwound to the head is, but that
sounds terrible.
It does sound terrible whenthey, when they wheel the
bedside um intracranial drillfor to drill burr holes at the
(10:58):
bedside.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
When I see that car come out, I'm like all sorts of
excited.
I'm like let's do it, we'regoing to drill in the head, but
we separate it from the person.
So it's not that we lackcompassion, because we don't
even tie it to a person.
It's a head, it's a brain, it'snot.
We disassociate it from emotionand so to us it's a person.
(11:24):
So, example it has ruined.
Being in medicine has ruinedhaunted houses for me right,
because now when I go and I seeguts and it's like in, like a
haunted house, I'm like oh,that's a bad liver, like it's
not even scary because we do,but that's.
We don't look at it as a scarything, we look at it as it's an
organ, it's, it's a thing.
(11:45):
It's a thing.
It's not a human, it's a thing.
And so we are very good atdisassociating that.
Because you, like, you'resaying you see it as a gunshot
wound to this head, not not.
You know Bobby, who you know is, you know a college student and
was just at the wrong place atthe wrong time.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
We don't know any of that.
We don't know any of that.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
And we'd probably rather not.
You know, we just know it, aswe're trying to save this head,
this person, but we can't.
We don't have any emotionalattachments to this person.
I will tell you when my dadwent into surgery for his total
replacements, I did not want tobe in the OR for that because I
didn't think that I would beable to handle it.
Just the way that we movethings around, the way that we
hammer and the way that we saw,because I have an emotional
connection and so we've learnedto not have emotional
connections because that's howwe deal with things.
Yeah, so it's very tough tostruggle that at home and, you
(12:39):
know, in the hospital you know.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
I think that the whole point of it is, you know,
kind of what Nicole and I aretrying to trying to get at is
one, it's okay In that moment todisassociate your feelings
professionally and personally,because that's what we want to
do to survive in our field.
And then, two, it's okay to stepback and then feel those
(13:01):
emotions If that is what youneed to do to get through the
day.
Those emotions wouldn't existif it wasn't okay to feel them.
So it's okay to feel thoseemotions.
After the fact, the strugglebecomes where and how do we
blend the disassociation and thefeelings of the emotions and
how do we cope with knowing thatthose two have to separate the
(13:24):
moment we walk through the doorsof the clinic, the ER, the
hospital or whatever it is, andthe moment that we pull in our
carport or driveway or garageand come home to our families.
And then also, I think what'sthe most important thing is
having grace.
Number one for ourselves,knowing that that's a real
emotion and it's okay.
(13:45):
And then, number two, for ourfamilies, to recognize that you
got to have a little bit ofgrace for us Sometimes, at the
end of the day, when we're notsuper emotional about something
You're like why aren't you moreupset about this?
Well, I've kind of learned toturn that off.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.
My ex-husband would say oh, Igot this.
Oh, you know, just like this.
I'm like seriously, unless yourhead is down, your feet are up
and you have 85 drips and sixtubes, you're fine, you're fine,
like you're fine.
You just don't care Exactly Notreally about your little paper
(14:20):
cut.
I know, I don't.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
I don't and I'm not trying to be rotten.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
I just don't like suck it up Like you know what I
mean.
And so we become.
You know we joke about it todaybecause we're still friends,
but we have to leave ouremotions at the door, because if
I felt an emotion to thatperson or that patient, I don't
know that I would be able torevert back to my training,
(14:47):
because emotions take over,right, like emotions take over
when they're.
When they come, they're strong,whether it's an anxiety attack,
whether it's being tearful,whether it's being angry.
It's hard to control emotions.
And how can I control emotionsand do what I'm trained to do?
So the emotions have to have tostay out.
You have to learn to put themout so that you can do your job,
because if there's an emotionalattachment, it's going to skew
(15:11):
your, it's going to skew the waythat you're doing things right.
Like you know, I would dothings, you know, differently
because I have an emotionalattachment, and so we learned to
not have it.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
For sure, for sure, absolutely.
So what would you say if youwere talking to a new provider?
What tips or tricks would yougive them to be able to cope
with what they're about to facein the next two, three, five, 10
years of their career?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
I would probably say to give yourself some grace and
to get into therapy before youthink you need it.
Yeah, Do it before you thinkyou need it, because by the time
that you feel or know that youneed it, you're way in the weeds
.
You're way in the weeds and Ithink we're getting to
understand as a culture betterthat therapy can be good Even if
(16:01):
you just it's a very lightsession.
Nobody has to have a deepsession every time but having a
place to go to at least vent and, you know, get some
understanding of why you'refeeling the way that you're
feeling, because blocking offyour emotions doesn't do good
for your home life.
It just doesn't.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Yeah, it doesn't do good.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
We become very difficult to live with, um, and
easily emotionally detached Ifwe're not careful, if we're, if
we're, if we're not careful, wecan definitely become just
emotionally detached becausethat's what we're used to
dealing with.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Thank you all for joining us today.
That's all.
We wanted to just mention acouple of things today that we,
you know, as providers deal with, as nurses deal with, doctors
deal with them.
We, you know, everybody in thehealthcare field deals with this
, um, but we just want to justreally just bring awareness to
it and that there is help outthere.
And, um, even virtual health isgreat, even virtual health.
(17:02):
So, um, if you have anyquestions or comments, you can
certainly reach out to us.
You can find me at Hamiltontelehealthcom and Kelly, you can
find her at Kari health dot com.
C-h-a-r-i health dot com.
I looked at your website lastnight.
It's beautiful.
All right, guys, see you nexttime.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Bye.
Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode
of tattoos and telehealth.
I'm Kelly White with KariHealth and, of course, I'm
joined by my fabulous colleague,ms Nicole Baldwin.
Excuse me, this visit does, orthis podcast does not constitute
a patient provider relationship.
So last week we had anincredible opportunity to visit
with a professional aboutburnout.
(00:35):
But there are some things thatkind of come along with that
that we wanted to highlighttoday and, nicole, this is
something that's very kind ofnear and dear to you.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
You want to take off and chat about that yeah, so
something that, as we are, kellyand I both come from trauma ICU
ER, we come from that world andprobably one of the most
difficult things is we've seenmore death than anyone should
(01:06):
ever have to see, right, thepolice officers, the firemen,
the nurses, the doctors.
We see more of that than anyonecan probably even imagine, and
especially working through COVID.
But even before that, you knowwe see people at their at their
worst, right when, when, whenyou're at your worst, you're in
the ER, right, or you know wesee people at their at their
worst right, when, when, whenyou're at your worst, you're in
(01:28):
the ER, right, or you'rephysically physically and
mentally at your worst yeah.
Both, yeah, both of those forsure.
And so as a, as a healthcareprovider, we become very I don't
know if I want to say I'vebecome and this is like just in
life in general, not necessarilyjust at the hospital, but we
(01:53):
become very like where we keepour emotions.
We're very good at stop movingon, stop what we're doing moving
on.
And that comes from being inone room where we're coding a
pediatric patient or not, itdoesn't matter, an adult and
then the next room, over 10minutes later, it's a patient
who we're, you know, trying togive a warm blanket to and a
(02:15):
turkey sandwich.
But you don't carry right, youdon't carry that same emotion in
one room that you carried inthe next.
And so, let's say, we aretrying to save a patient, and
then our next patient is, let'ssay, you know, a 10 year old
girl with asthma attack who'snot necessarily in life,
(02:36):
threatening danger.
But we don't bring that same.
We come in with a positiveattitude, with a a gentle spirit
, at the same time understandingthat we just came from a
situation where we were tryingto save a life and things were
very, very grim, dire.
Maybe they died, maybe theydidn't.
Regardless, we go from suchdire adrenaline situations that
(03:03):
literally life and death to inthe snap of a finger.
We're in front of a patientwhere our smile, in our, the way
that we interact with them, issuper important.
It's super important to the waythat they see this.
Uh, visits, you know, nobodywants to go to the ER and have a
, a grouchy provider, you know,nurse, doctor, whatever, and so
(03:25):
we try to make them to be aswarm as possible so that they're
not scared.
Right, so we've become, theysay, like the ER nurses, we
become jaded, right, we, we, webecome jaded and nothing really
bothers us.
And I, and and it's not true,but it is true, you know, it's
like we, we are trained to, tofeel, we, you know, we're in a
(03:48):
situation we feel one way and inthe snap of a finger, we're
expected to and not expected to.
But we should not saying it'sright or wrong.
We go to another room where wehave to be like, you know,
because that's what's in thebest interest of our patients,
and so we always want to takecare of patients in the best way
.
That's, that's best for them,and in one room it may be one
(04:10):
thing, and then the next roomit's best for them, and in one
room it may be one thing, andthen the next room it's a
completely different situation,and so I think, as providers, we
get good at nothing reallyaffecting us too much from an
emotional standpoint, and Ithink that we struggle with that
and it carries into our homelives and it carries into our
personal life as well.
(04:31):
What are your thoughts on that?
Am I rambling here?
What are your thoughts on that?
Speaker 1 (04:34):
No, I think I think you've hit the nail on the head,
but I think that what'simportant for um not only other
providers to hear us talk about,but is but for the public in
general to hear us say is thatwe do care, we do have feelings
and we do take that home homeand while we are expected to
turn that off and go to the nextroom and turn that off and go
to the next room and turn thatoff and go to the next room,
(04:55):
that does weigh on us and overtime you know that contributes
to like we talked about lastweek with melissa um contributes
to burnout, and I think that itjust goes back to showing how
critical it is for providers tobe able to recognize that in
themselves so they can reach outfor help, so they can reach out
(05:16):
to someone to be able to sharethose emotions with, because as
providers I don't know aboutUnicle, but there were so many
nights when and I say nightsbecause by the end of your shift
it is night to come home andleave it at the door.
You pull in the garage and yousit in your car for an extra two
or three minutes because you'retrying to decompress and you
have to leave it at the doorbefore you walk into your family
(05:38):
, for whatever happened and thatis, it is a lot and it is
significant and I think that weas providers take for granted
that over the years of doingthis work we learn to cope with
what's happening from one roomto the next, to the next, you
know, like whether that's in theER, whether that's in the ICU,
or you know, when I finished upmy in-hospital career in
(05:59):
neurosurgery, you know we mayhave a gunshot victim in OR1.
And then turn right around andhave just your day-to-day bread
and butter spinal fusion comingup next.
You know, and after you walkedout of this very traumatic, very
, very bloody, very terrible,emotional, everybody's on a high
(06:22):
, from this gunshot to the head.
Now you have to regroup andstep back and then go to pre-op
and see the family and smile andtalk about the spinal fusion
and do all the things and you'rejust like you're still running,
your adrenaline is still going,you're still literally covered
in the blood of the patient youwere just with and it makes it
very hard.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
I think we, we, we don't have time to decompress
and we don't have time to dealwith things, and so it's just
like carrying this heavybackpack, you know, a stone goes
in the back.
My pastor was talking about onetime, about how we carry things
that we weren't meant to carry,and these are little things
that, because we don't have timeto deal with, maybe, maybe,
maybe we feel like everybodytried to die on us today, right,
(07:01):
but when we go home, our kidsstill want uh, they're super
happy to see us, you know, um,you know what's for dinner, you
know.
So you just put it and you justput it away, you just put it in
the back, you just put it inyour backpack and you just, and
you just truck on, and overyears and years and years, we
just it's all just, you justnever have the time to
(07:26):
decompress and deal becauseyou're running, because it it
just the nature of the beast,and so I'm it's not that we are
saying, um, that it's bad orit's good or indifferent, it
just is like it.
Just it just is.
And I think awareness forproviders to say it's okay to
feel overwhelmed, it's okay tofeel, um, just like you've kind
(07:51):
of walled off.
And I think that that's wheretherapy as we met with Melissa
last week therapy for providersis super important because we
put things away.
Every day that we work, we areputting things.
You know, maybe one patient,one patient, cuss you out from
up one side and down the otherbecause maybe they weren't, you
know, you know have liver issuesand they're not in the right
(08:13):
mind, or maybe they are in theright mind, they're just mean.
But then you go to the nextpatient and it's a sweet little
lady you just want to take homewith you, right?
So it's so polar opposites, thedealings that we deal with and
we have no time to compress, andso sometimes that comes out at
home in frustration.
(08:34):
It comes out with, you know,over time.
But eventually we do get jadedand it's just our coping, it's
the way that we cope, going fromone thing to the next, without
any explanation, withoutanything, just, you're just like
a robot, right, you're justgoing, but robots don't have
those emotions.
(08:54):
So, you know, it's, um, it'sdefinitely difficult.
We become emotionless, almostwe don't.
We, you know, we can't becrying.
If we're trying to, we can't becrying, we can't be falling
apart, right?
So how do you?
You know, nurses will jokeabout things and people say
that's morbid.
But then doctors too, you know,we'll joke about things that
(09:17):
normal people would joke about,or we'll, you know, make a funny
over something that really, tonormal people, isn't funny.
But when you're in this world,things it's just how we cope,
it's just how we cope, and so Ithink that therapy is a really
good thing.
Um, you?
Speaker 1 (09:35):
know, I think my mom used to get incredibly mad at me
whenever I first came out ofschool and became an ICU nurse
and those first couple of yearsof learning kind of how to cope
with that and how to deal withthe emotions that came along
with it.
With that, and how to deal withthe emotions that came along
with it, you know I would.
I learned how from those oldernurses and they were amazing.
(09:56):
They were incredible.
They took me under their wingand taught me these things.
But, as you said you, you learnto joke and you learn to use
that as your tool to get throughday to day.
But things would fascinate me,like you know, the, the major
triple A that ruptured when itcame through the you know what I
mean Like the little things.
You're just like, wow, that isso cool.
I got to see this today and Igot to see that today and my mom
(10:17):
would get furious with mebecause she'd be like that
person was suffering or thatperson's family was so upset and
how can you be excited aboutthat and how can you be?
That's terrible.
I'm like, well, yeah, that'strauma.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
I love it, yeah, but for me it was exciting because I
was a new nurse and I waslearning and it was cool and
even all the way up until I leftthe hospital setting in
neurosurgery.
I know how tragic a gunshotwound to the head is, but that
sounds terrible.
It does sound terrible whenthey, when they wheel the
bedside um intracranial drillfor to drill burr holes at the
(10:58):
bedside.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
When I see that car come out, I'm like all sorts of
excited.
I'm like let's do it, we'regoing to drill in the head, but
we separate it from the person.
So it's not that we lackcompassion, because we don't
even tie it to a person.
It's a head, it's a brain, it'snot.
We disassociate it from emotionand so to us it's a person.
(11:24):
So, example it has ruined.
Being in medicine has ruinedhaunted houses for me right,
because now when I go and I seeguts and it's like in, like a
haunted house, I'm like oh,that's a bad liver, like it's
not even scary because we do,but that's.
We don't look at it as a scarything, we look at it as it's an
organ, it's, it's a thing.
(11:45):
It's a thing.
It's not a human, it's a thing.
And so we are very good atdisassociating that.
Because you, like, you'resaying you see it as a gunshot
wound to this head, not not.
You know Bobby, who you know is, you know a college student and
was just at the wrong place atthe wrong time.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
We don't know any of that.
We don't know any of that.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
And we'd probably rather not.
You know, we just know it, aswe're trying to save this head,
this person, but we can't.
We don't have any emotionalattachments to this person.
I will tell you when my dadwent into surgery for his total
replacements, I did not want tobe in the OR for that because I
didn't think that I would beable to handle it.
Just the way that we movethings around, the way that we
hammer and the way that we saw,because I have an emotional
connection and so we've learnedto not have emotional
connections because that's howwe deal with things.
Yeah, so it's very tough tostruggle that at home and, you
(12:39):
know, in the hospital you know.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
I think that the whole point of it is, you know,
kind of what Nicole and I aretrying to trying to get at is
one, it's okay In that moment todisassociate your feelings
professionally and personally,because that's what we want to
do to survive in our field.
And then, two, it's okay to stepback and then feel those
(13:01):
emotions If that is what youneed to do to get through the
day.
Those emotions wouldn't existif it wasn't okay to feel them.
So it's okay to feel thoseemotions.
After the fact, the strugglebecomes where and how do we
blend the disassociation and thefeelings of the emotions and
how do we cope with knowing thatthose two have to separate the
(13:24):
moment we walk through the doorsof the clinic, the ER, the
hospital or whatever it is, andthe moment that we pull in our
carport or driveway or garageand come home to our families.
And then also, I think what'sthe most important thing is
having grace.
Number one for ourselves,knowing that that's a real
emotion and it's okay.
(13:45):
And then, number two, for ourfamilies, to recognize that you
got to have a little bit ofgrace for us Sometimes, at the
end of the day, when we're notsuper emotional about something
You're like why aren't you moreupset about this?
Well, I've kind of learned toturn that off.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.
My ex-husband would say oh, Igot this.
Oh, you know, just like this.
I'm like seriously, unless yourhead is down, your feet are up
and you have 85 drips and sixtubes, you're fine, you're fine,
like you're fine.
You just don't care Exactly Notreally about your little paper
(14:20):
cut.
I know, I don't.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
I don't and I'm not trying to be rotten.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
I just don't like suck it up Like you know what I
mean.
And so we become.
You know we joke about it todaybecause we're still friends,
but we have to leave ouremotions at the door, because if
I felt an emotion to thatperson or that patient, I don't
know that I would be able torevert back to my training,
(14:47):
because emotions take over,right, like emotions take over
when they're.
When they come, they're strong,whether it's an anxiety attack,
whether it's being tearful,whether it's being angry.
It's hard to control emotions.
And how can I control emotionsand do what I'm trained to do?
So the emotions have to have tostay out.
You have to learn to put themout so that you can do your job,
because if there's an emotionalattachment, it's going to skew
(15:11):
your, it's going to skew the waythat you're doing things right.
Like you know, I would dothings, you know, differently
because I have an emotionalattachment, and so we learned to
not have it.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
For sure, for sure, absolutely.
So what would you say if youwere talking to a new provider?
What tips or tricks would yougive them to be able to cope
with what they're about to facein the next two, three, five, 10
years of their career?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
I would probably say to give yourself some grace and
to get into therapy before youthink you need it.
Yeah, Do it before you thinkyou need it, because by the time
that you feel or know that youneed it, you're way in the weeds
.
You're way in the weeds and Ithink we're getting to
understand as a culture betterthat therapy can be good Even if
(16:01):
you just it's a very lightsession.
Nobody has to have a deepsession every time but having a
place to go to at least vent and, you know, get some
understanding of why you'refeeling the way that you're
feeling, because blocking offyour emotions doesn't do good
for your home life.
It just doesn't.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Yeah, it doesn't do good.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
We become very difficult to live with, um, and
easily emotionally detached Ifwe're not careful, if we're, if
we're, if we're not careful, wecan definitely become just
emotionally detached becausethat's what we're used to
dealing with.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Thank you all for joining us today.
That's all.
We wanted to just mention acouple of things today that we,
you know, as providers deal with, as nurses deal with, doctors
deal with them.
We, you know, everybody in thehealthcare field deals with this
, um, but we just want to justreally just bring awareness to
it and that there is help outthere.
And, um, even virtual health isgreat, even virtual health.
(17:02):
So, um, if you have anyquestions or comments, you can
certainly reach out to us.
You can find me at Hamiltontelehealthcom and Kelly, you can
find her at Kari health dot com.
C-h-a-r-i health dot com.
I looked at your website lastnight.
It's beautiful.
All right, guys, see you nexttime.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Bye.
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