December 20, 2024 • 38 mins
Ever wondered how mediation can transform your business conflicts into opportunities for growth? Join us as Dana Garnett, the founder of Mindful Strategy, unpacks the crucial distinctions between mediation, arbitration, and litigation. Dana reveals how mediation serves as a proactive, cost-effective approach to conflict resolution that can save your business from the pitfalls of litigation. With real-life examples and actionable advice, she demonstrates how early intervention through mediation not only fosters stronger business relationships but also significantly reduces stress and anxiety.
Navigating the intricate dynamics of family businesses and partnerships can be a minefield of conflicts. Dana delves into the unique challenges of these environments, sharing insights on the importance of imparting conflict resolution skills early and ensuring emotional alignment in business agreements. By highlighting common issues such as strategic disagreements and succession planning, she illustrates how effective communication and understanding can prevent conflicts from escalating into expensive legal battles. Learn how to maintain harmony and productivity by addressing conflicts constructively and promptly.
Dana also shares three pivotal strategies for business owners to handle conflicts effectively. By stressing the need for genuine commitment, openness to different approaches, and the transformative power of one individual to change conflict dynamics, Dana provides a clear roadmap to a respectful and productive work environment. Additionally, we explore the role of emotional intelligence and external support in resolving workplace conflicts. With practical examples and personal experiences, Dana underscores the importance of early intervention and continuous learning to maintain a healthy business atmosphere.
A loan brokerage firm that acquires funding for business owners and real estate investors.
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
If you need assistance in obtaining funding, email us at podcast@tdjequityfundinginsiders.net. Tell what the scope of funding is needed and the amount. A broker will contact you to discuss your funding needs. And remember, at TDJ Equity Funding, we do not force your funding needs into a lender's box but find a lender's box that fits you!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Intro (00:13):
Ready to get the inside scoop on equity funding?
Tune in to TDJ Equity FundingInsiders Podcast for an in-depth
look at what it takes to accessfinancial capital and maximize
your investments.
Hear from experiencedprofessionals, including bankers
, underwriters, loan officersand industry experts, as they
(00:36):
share their unfiltered storiesand valuable lessons on securing
funds.
Securing funds.
Jacquelyn Jackson (00:47):
Welcome back to another episode of the TDJ
Equity Funding Insiders podcast.
Today we have a very specialguest co-host joining us who
brings a wealth of knowledge andexperience in the realm of
conflict resolution.
Meet Dana Garnett, the founderand owner of Mindful Strategy.
Dana is a seasoned mediator andconflict strategist with a deep
(01:10):
passion for helping businessowners and professionals
navigate the complex landscapeof interpersonal and
organization conflicts.
With her expertise, dana hasguided countless clients toward
peaceful and productiveresolutions, ensuring their
businesses thrive even in theface of disputes.
(01:33):
As you all know, we are afunding company and we wind up
seeing a lot of this at theclosing table the conflicts that
the owners have with each other, the partners that they have.
So our team felt it was veryimportant to bring someone on
like Dana to come in and talk tous about dealing with conflict
(01:55):
in our business and things ofthat nature.
So it is an absolute, absolutepleasure to have her with us
today.
I want to welcome you, thana,to our podcast.
Dana Garnett (02:07):
Thank you, Jackie.
It is an absolute pleasure tobe here and I just want to say
how much I appreciate what youdo for your clients in helping
to save them unnecessary angstat any point along the road in
working with you.
Jacquelyn Jackson (02:20):
Well, thank you, and that is what we're
about trying to deal with thepain of what our clients come,
because you know getting moneyin the first place is painful.
I mean, you talked about that,we've talked about this before.
You know you come to get moneywhen you don't actually, you
come when you need it.
So the same thing with you,with what you deal with, is when
(02:40):
they come to you, like me, it'smaybe a little bit too late.
So we want to start off withyou explaining that.
Let's go into where you canexplain what mediation is and
how it differs from other formsof conflict resolutions, like
the arbitration and thelitigation Sure.
Dana Garnett (02:55):
Absolutely, and I, just before I go there, just to
say that what I do for myclients.
I help free them from anxietyand give them a whole new lease
on their business and their life.
And these clients are businessowners who are in conflict with
each other, and the mindfulstrategy piece is a really
simple process that helps themget to the heart of things
(03:16):
quickly, clear the deepesttriggers fast and neutralize
that situation so that theystrengthen those relationships
and not sever them.
So when we're talking aboutconflict, like you just said,
too often people come to me verylate.
Everything's boiled up andthey're trying to put out a fire
(03:37):
, and I get that.
It's like why don't people getcybersecurity insurance?
You know?
Intro (03:46):
that kind of thing, Before you need it.
Dana Garnett (03:48):
Why don't they get with you before they need it,
or me, right, but so yeah.
So, going back to what youasked, litigation, arbitration
and mediation, okay, so kind ofa basic definition.
Litigation involves partiesthat are in it.
They've filed a lawsuit againsteach other.
Jacquelyn Jackson (04:08):
Okay.
Dana Garnett (04:09):
Okay, and you can have legal representation
attorneys for each party, or youmight be pro se.
You decide to go this on yourown and you don't have to have
attorneys, but that's the choiceof the parties.
But that said, litigation hasbasically three ways of
resolving.
I'm going to put that in quotesresolving the conflict Either
(04:32):
you settle or the judge, calledan arbitrator, will listen to
all the parties involved in acase and it doesn't have to be
(04:54):
something necessarily filed, butthey listen to this case.
It helps save from litigation,actually, and the arbitrator
decides the outcome.
Oh, okay, and that's a legalbinding document or contract.
Mediation is also having aneutral professional to work
with the parties.
(05:14):
But they are there to guide theparties through a process that
helps them get down to their ownideas and their own terms for
the agreement.
So, for example, a mediatordoes not advise, oh, guides the
process, gotcha, to lead theparties to what can become a
(05:36):
mediated settlement agreement.
And in that process just as acomment about advising some
people will think the mediatorcan give them legal advice, and
mediation ethics actuallypreclude that Even if you're an
attorney, or whether you're anattorney or not, you can be a
mediator either way, but you arenot to give legal advice.
(05:58):
So, parties who come pro se toa mediation, they need to be
able to get their own legalinformation elsewhere.
And I will say on the outset ifyou're in a serious conflict
situation involving yourbusiness or your life in some
way, yes, pro se is a way to go,but you just might need legal
(06:24):
advice.
And I say get it.
That's why attorneys are there.
You need that advice.
But I will say you don't needto lawyer up.
So I'll say that again.
You may need legal advice.
So I say get it right, that'swhat attorneys are for.
But you I would highlyrecommend you don't lawyer up.
(06:44):
That's what takes you down thatslippery slope of litigation,
costly and and you know, and Iwill say that mediation, as I
mentioned earlier, settlementsand option for litigation to end
when you mediate in a in acourt case the problem and I
(07:05):
love mediation, I'm a mediatorand I do it all the time but
what I see is mediation comesway too late in the legal
process and the mediatedsettlement agreement that you
walk away with is usuallysomething that not everybody got
what they wanted.
Jacquelyn Jackson (07:25):
It's more of you settle.
You got to take it, you settle.
Dana Garnett (07:27):
Yeah, but it is not real resolution.
Jacquelyn Jackson (07:31):
I could see that.
Dana Garnett (07:32):
So I'm sitting here with parties wishing I
could have helped them waybefore they even got to this
place.
So mediation has its place andit's good to have that because
it is the only between mediation, arbitration, litigation.
It's the only thing where theclients have complete control of
their destiny.
Jacquelyn Jackson (07:52):
Oh, wow.
Dana Garnett (07:52):
They get to decide if they're going to sign that
agreement or not, because that'salso binding by law.
Okay, okay Now, becausesettlement in mediation is not
real resolution.
What I started doing years agois seeing how can I help people,
particularly business owners,to not even get to mediation.
(08:15):
That's way down the pike andwalking away with something that
they're still not happy with.
And all that disgruntlednessand that resentment and maybe
leftover anger stays with you,oh, wow.
And in the world of health andwell-being, whenever you have
that state if you will andyou're not over it, that's
(08:35):
basically stress turning underthe radar all the time.
Yes, ma'am, it is, and stressis basically a form of dis-ease.
It's the opposite of ease.
And what does dis-ease becomeover time?
Disease, wow, yeah, yeah, right.
So you don't want conflict tojust get settled, you want to
(08:58):
really resolve it, so you don'tsuffer the health challenges
down the road Seriously.
Jacquelyn Jackson (09:04):
And so, again , you saying something we want
to talk about in the show thisearlier and that's why we got
you here, because you know howto cover every basis of
everything but something thatyou said that when it comes to
that conflict, that I think,like I said, they come and they
don't have that at the time theyneed it, it's going to be more
detrimental for them in the longterm.
(09:24):
Now let me show you how itworks with us.
When we have a person come inand they have a partnership and
they haven't dealt with anyunresolved issues, now we don't
know what it is.
We're loan brokers.
You're bringing everything.
You're bringing all thedocuments, you're bringing all
the papers, but what happened?
We have found, eventually,someone doesn't want to do what
you thought they wanted to doand you're in a mid run of an
(09:48):
application process for 1.5million.
This is my thing.
You don't want to find that outin the process of you getting a
loan, that you have someunresolved conflicts.
That is going to affect yourbusiness.
This is why we got.
We have data to come on so youall can see what she has and
what's going on, because it doesaffect you when it comes to
(10:10):
getting funding if you haven'tdealt with it.
So the part that we're going totalk more that you hadn't
mentioned is about the partbefore we.
Now, I know she's a mediator,we got you down as a mediator
and conflict strategy.
We know that.
Okay, she's that.
But before we go there, let'slearn.
Hopefully you all can pick upthe part she's going to tell you
before you get to mediationbecause, like she said, she
(10:33):
cannot guide you anyway, butbefore that she can't if you
come to her, before you gotoward that, that litigation.
So if you would talk more onwhat happens before you prevent,
absolutely yeah.
Dana Garnett (10:45):
I mean it's so possible to resolve any kind of
complex conflict, even if you'rea family business, for example,
and it's conflict or complexgenerational conflict.
If you actually really want toresolve it, you can do that
early on and never have to eventhink about mediation or
(11:08):
arbitration or a lawsuit.
So this is why I startedworking with clients one-on-one
and doing workshops withcompanies years ago because I
was seeing in mediation.
I wish I could impart theseconflict resolution skills to
these parties to the process.
But that's not the place for it.
Mediation is not a teachingopportunity.
(11:29):
But what if I could teachbusiness owners to understand
how to clear whatever's beengoing on, clear those deepest
issues, and then, at the sametime we're doing that, imparting
skills or up leveling,basically their communication
(11:49):
skills?
Jacquelyn Jackson (11:50):
Right.
Dana Garnett (11:50):
So that down the road, when new stuff comes up
and it's going to Risk man, theyknow how to dance with it.
Because when, anytime humansinteract, conflict exists.
So it's not about trying toavoid conflict, you just are
trying to avoid unnecessaryescalation of conflict, gotcha,
you know.
And so if people and Jackie,one of the big things about this
(12:13):
is we're not taught this inschool.
No, ma'am, and this extendsbeyond business Just people,
humans interacting with eachother If we actually had any
clue how easy it is to connectwith somebody on a different
level and not have all this blowup and become a very expensive,
timely process.
(12:33):
So let me say this, notbreaking you up, but you're
saying it's okay to disagree, oh, totally, and that's what I
think.
Jacquelyn Jackson (12:43):
we don't.
We take we so emotional and thething is, I don't know what
make us think that you, weemotional, is.
Business person is personal.
I don't know why we think oncewe start a business, we're not
going to be emotional anymore.
Dana Garnett (12:56):
Yes, you are.
Oh, it's all about emotion.
It's all about emotion.
Yeah, we put business on thefront of it and think we're not
supposed to be emotional.
Jacquelyn Jackson (13:03):
Yeah, it's only emotional and I think
what's great and that's why Ilike you being here and I really
encourage that our businessowners reach out to you or
someone like her, because youhave somebody that's outside,
that's professional and know howconflict resolution should look
.
If you're an owner of a daycare, that is not your job, you
(13:24):
don't know how to deal with it,but guess how much conflict.
You have parents, you have yourworkers, you have your other
managers.
So if you don't have thatskills, guys, it's okay, it's
okay.
If you don't have it, get theskill, get skilled, and that's
where you're going to come inand you can help them.
Because, like I'll be honest,guys, I would wanted her about,
oh, about mediation and how youhandle it and how you meet with
(13:46):
them and you know when you go tocourt and all this stuff.
And she said no, no, no, If Ican, jackie, I want to talk to
them before they get there,because that's the major problem
that can be resolved.
Am I correct?
Absolutely and Absolutely.
And so she's running my podcast, guys, today, and that's okay,
I'm gonna let her run it becauseshe's correct and she knows
(14:07):
what she's talking about.
So, when I was dealing withthat kind of conflict.
What is?
What is the type of conflict?
You see majority that's like inbusiness.
Sure, exactly.
Dana Garnett (14:14):
Well, um, and thank you for all that.
I want to get the message out,you know.
So one of the things I see inbusinesses is a clash of
business strategy or operationalvalues.
Jacquelyn Jackson (14:28):
Okay, explain that.
Give me an example.
Dana Garnett (14:29):
Well, just like, which direction is the business
going to go?
What kind of campaign are wegoing to run?
Oh, I don't agree with that.
I think our market should bethis.
No, I think we should bespending more on advertising
here.
I think we need to bring onthis person.
I don't think we need thatperson.
I mean just general strategyand how to run the company.
A second thing that I often seeis feelings of unfairness.
(14:51):
Perhaps you've got partners twoor more that feel like maybe
somebody is not pulling theirweight Right.
Okay, they're in equal share,but not everybody's pulling
their weight.
Not doing their part, not doingtheir part, exactly, exactly,
(15:11):
yeah, yeah.
And then another one, a famousone, is rivalry, and succession
Doesn't have to be a familybusiness necessarily, but
sibling rivalry.
Or people are competing forthat next top position, right,
and?
Or who's going to take over thebusiness?
And the challenge is here youmay have a business partnership
agreement, which I call abusiness prenup, right, and it's
(15:33):
all written down on paper.
But just like you could have amediated settlement agreement
all written down on paper, noteverybody may have really fully
been aligned with thatpartnership agreement
emotionally and I haven'tthought of that time.
It was signed exactly.
Jacquelyn Jackson (15:51):
You know what and when they're not
emotionally attached.
You know when we take we canfind out you're not emotionally
attached to whatever thatagreement was.
The process of getting money,thank, we find that out real
quick.
That she realized.
You know, I don't think I wantus to get this much.
I thought we could get.
I had one client I'm serious.
She said I thought we weregetting 400,000.
(16:11):
What do you mean?
We're qualified for 1.9 million.
Well, the guys, the otherpartners, say well, hey, we're
growing, we finna go to Colorado, we finna buy this, this, and
that I think it'd be great.
Do you know?
She did not go, but she was 50percent.
Oh, that was.
We were all like are youserious?
So, like you said, he didn'tthink it was a problem.
(16:32):
He said I knew how she was, Iknew how miss Linda did things,
but I didn't think she wouldcome to this point because
that's why we said resolutionbefore they got there.
You need that.
So I think this and you tell mewhat you think Anybody that has
a partnership in business, Ithink they should make an
appointment to at least meetwith you.
Dana Garnett (16:52):
Oh my, you know I cannot.
I cannot think how many times Ihave said I wish there was a
requirement yeah, some kind of arequirement for people to have
to go through a conflictmanagement skills, you know,
training to before you get intopartnership.
You know it goes back toinsurance, right?
(17:14):
Right, we insure our companiesfor theft and liability in the
storms of mother nature, but dowe ever think about preventing
our business from the storms ofhuman nature?
Jacquelyn Jackson (17:22):
Wow, seriously, that says a lot.
Dana Garnett (17:24):
It says when humans interact, there's
conflict.
How do you keep those emotionalstorms from blowing things up?
But the thing is, people getinsurance for their car because
they have to.
It's the law, right.
Jacquelyn Jackson (17:35):
Regulate it.
Dana Garnett (17:36):
Liability insurance, but cyber, no,
regulate it Exactly.
Jacquelyn Jackson (17:39):
You got to do it, and so any other kind of
agreement you know, so I mean Iknow we can't, I can't enforce
that, but we strongly, stronglyrecommend, you know, and I think
, what even with my being incertain business, I haven't had
a conflict resolution withsomeone, I hadn't went through
the process that you say, but Ihave been through dealing with
(18:00):
other mediation type things andI can actually see how, having
you in the beginning of mybusiness, just to learn it and
I'm going to tell you somethingelse that I thought of while you
were just talking, because Ihave business clients, I have
clients that have problem withpeople underneath them, the
management and I just realizedthat's a conflict.
You need to talk to a conflictresolution to show you how to
(18:23):
handle it, because you know what, as an owner of a business, we
don't know if we crazy asketchup, you just don't know you
are.
Everybody else know you are,but you don't know.
So if you have a conflict, Ithink when you're coming in you
can actually work on that part.
That helped them to be the typeof leader they need, because
conflict is going to come.
But we do not take a class forconflict resolution.
Dana Garnett (18:44):
No, we don't.
We don't and sadly, it's costlywhen we don't have those skills
.
It's costly.
It is Time, money wasted.
We make poor decisions when weare conflicted because we don't
see the big picture.
We don't have the freshperspective.
That's true and that is one ofthe big problems with that
(19:06):
Missed opportunities.
Outro (19:08):
Right.
Dana Garnett (19:08):
And let me tell you what your clients pick up on
the vibe when you guys are notin harmony with each other.
And I'm not talking verbally,I'm talking.
They just know.
Jacquelyn Jackson (19:20):
Right.
Dana Garnett (19:21):
And going back to that example, you used the
gentleman that thought he knewhis partner.
We think a lot about what wethink we know, but until you
actually work through things youdon't know and honestly, what I
have found nine times out of 10, what the heart of that issue
is when you get down to it andit's easy to get to it fast, but
when you do get down to it,everyone's surprised, like I
(19:42):
didn't know.
That was the problem.
Jacquelyn Jackson (19:44):
Wow, wow.
Dana Garnett (19:44):
Yeah.
Jacquelyn Jackson (19:46):
At TDJ Equity Funding, we understand the
challenges you face, whetheryou're expanding your business,
investing in real estate orlaunching a startup.
We've got your back.
Our expert team of loan brokersis dedicated to helping you
secure the funding you needhassle-free to helping you
secure the funding you needhassle-free.
Imagine a future where yourbusiness thrives, where
opportunities are endless andworking capital has made a great
(20:08):
difference in your business.
Tdj Equity Funding can make ithappen.
Book an appointment with us aseasy as pie.
Just visit our website atwwwtdjequityllcnet and take the
first step towards yourfinancial success.
Don't let your dreams gatherdust on the shelf.
Seize the opportunity today.
(20:29):
Visit wwwtdjequityllcnet andschedule your appointment with
TDJ Equity Funding.
Let's turn your dreams intodollars.
Outro (20:41):
Welcome to Frameworks Consortium, your partner for
sustainable business success.
Frameworks Consortium yourpartner for sustainable business
success.
Frameworks Consortium is yourstrategic guide, providing you
with clear, actionable roadmapsto achieve your business goals.
Our team of seasonedstrategists provides expert
guidance, ensuring you makeinformed decisions with clarity
and confidence.
We develop customized solutionsthat align with your unique
(21:02):
business objectives, fosteringgrowth and resilience in an
ever-changing businessenvironment.
Jacquelyn Jackson (21:07):
Connect with us today and harness the power
of strategic planning for yourbusiness what do you think, what
are some of the key strategiesyou think business owners can do
to can help with the partnerconflict?
Dana Garnett (21:19):
thing?
Sure, and I love that questionbecause I could say, oh, do this
, this and this right.
However, that's going to, withall due respect, that's going to
fall on deaf ears, or arethey're going to think they know
what to do now for themselvesbefore they really understand?
Three key strategies, okay,okay, and these are in the form
(21:45):
of questions.
Number one do you really wantto resolve this situation and
again, with due respect, or isit lip?
Jacquelyn Jackson (21:54):
service.
So you're basically saying askyourself some questions?
Dana Garnett (21:58):
Yes, Do you read?
Yes, and I'm like.
These are the questions I askpeople before I even work with
them.
Jacquelyn Jackson (22:04):
Okay.
Dana Garnett (22:05):
Do you really want to resolve this?
Okay, that's true, and becauseif you're just complaining and
saying I just want to put abandaid on this and fix this so
we can move on, but you're notreally wanting to really get
this cleared, then I can't helpyou because you're not going to
do what's necessary.
And not going to be committed toit Exactly.
And the second point is are youopen to doing something
(22:27):
different so you actually get adifferent result?
It goes back to that definitionof insanity.
We've been spending for years.
My partner does this, mypartner does that, doesn't see
it the way I do.
Well, have you tried somethingdifferent?
And if you haven't, then you'renot going to get a different
result.
And, sadly, the decisions we'vebeen making up to this point in
(22:48):
our life or in our business, weare where we are because of
those decisions Exactly.
But if you're open to tryingsomething different, you're
going to get a different result.
Jacquelyn Jackson (23:01):
And we have to be open for something
different.
And business owners, we usuallydon't be open for different and
, you're right, that can add tothe conflict.
Exactly.
Dana Garnett (23:10):
And that goes back to your point about commitment.
If you really want to getresolved and you are open to
doing something different, doingwhat's necessary, and you
really want to get resolved andyou are open to doing something
different, doing what'snecessary, and you're committed
to that, to committed toup-leveling your company, is
that like the number three, whatyou said, that's number three,
yeah, yeah.
Now, those three things I mean,before we even talk about
strategy, that's the big picturestrategy, you know, making sure
(23:32):
you really want to get thisdone.
Once you've got that, if yes,yes, yes to those three things,
yay, then the three things Iwant to make sure people
understand is strategically, itonly takes one person to shift
the entire dynamics of aconflict.
So let's say you and yourpartner are at odds with each
(23:53):
other about something right.
Okay, but your partner has toldyou please don't put me in front
of somebody to try to work thisout.
I do not want to sit around thetable and try to work this out.
Maybe they're so upset, that'sokay.
You don't need everybody aroundthe table.
If you're the one who reallywants to resolve it and you're
open to what it takes and you'recommitted to put that time in
(24:16):
and we're talking over a monthor two you can get this thing
resolved.
Jacquelyn Jackson (24:20):
Now you're saying wait, wait.
Are you saying that you canwork with just me?
Yes, that's new Cause.
I thought whoever I have aproblem with in management or
whatever, then they have to bethere and we got to work this
out with you, right and let me.
Dana Garnett (24:35):
this goes back to mediation.
That's good.
Yeah, it is, it's wonderful.
This goes back to mediation.
In mediation, let's say it's acourt ordered case, right, and
they order mediation.
Outro (24:46):
Okay.
Dana Garnett (24:46):
When people are told by the judge you've got to
go to mediation.
Nobody wants to be there.
Who wants to be told you've gotto work things out?
So therein lies the challengeto even getting to a decent
mediated settlement agreement tostart.
So if your partner does notwant to work with you, that's
okay, but if you really want toresolve things, you can do it on
(25:08):
your own.
Yeah, it just takes one personto shift the entire dynamics,
and I'm proof, by the way, Iwent through a life crisis,
discovered all of this.
I became a mediator because ofmy own situation in life.
Jacquelyn Jackson (25:20):
Okay.
Dana Garnett (25:21):
And did a huge dive into the neuroscience of
conflict.
And when I picked up on allthese skills and everything and
lived through it myself andturned around things and got
completely over, it was a hugedivorce that involved some
business properties with my nowex-husband I.
Actually today we get alonggreat.
We go on vacations with ourkids.
(25:42):
I mean we have no issue.
But you did that with you.
Yeah, I did so.
I was, I saw, and what he hasdone or not done in his life to
work things through for himself,that's not for me to judge.
Wow, and what I discovered wasjust by shifting my own
(26:02):
perspective and changing fromwithin, it changed everything
and it gave our children at thattime and now in life such
relief.
We can get together for anythingweddings, funerals, graduations
, holidays, you name it Our kidsaren't going.
Oh my God, please, mom, dad,don't blow up again.
No, that never happens.
(26:22):
But I don't mean thatsurreptitiously, I'm just saying
it's real.
And so when I started workingwith clients, I discovered I can
teach them how to do this.
I can actually help you bythemselves, without the partner.
Because what happens whenyou've got this going on right?
People are clashing.
Intro (26:38):
Right.
Dana Garnett (26:38):
The other person learns how to show up
differently, this goes away andthere's nothing to hit on.
That's why I say you get to theheart of it fast.
That's a good one.
Clear the deepest triggers,which neutralizes the situation
and strengthens thoserelationships, and your partner
may never even know you got help.
If you want to tell them,that's fine.
Hey, if your partner's on boardand wants to work with you on
(27:00):
it, please let's do it.
But it does not require that.
So that's that, once you areopen to it and all that kind of
stuff.
That's one big thing I wantpeople to know.
Another one is that in theprocess, if you are the only
person or if you are workingtogether, it doesn't matter.
I start with putting you first,and what's what sounds like
(27:23):
it's counterintuitive, butpeople always say, put yourself
in the other person's shoes yeah, we get to that at some point.
But no one's going to want todo that unless they really value
it, like they feel like I'mmost important and and and
putting yourself first is whatwe do first.
And I help people to see whyit's so important to resolve
this conflict Because, at theend of the day, when we develop
(27:45):
all these skills, understandinghow to do this effectively is
self-preservation.
It goes back to that dis-easeRight and not having a stroke
midlife.
I've seen it happen.
Jacquelyn Jackson (27:58):
Right, it's real, it's real.
Dana Garnett (28:00):
Yeah, and not dying before we need to.
I'm serious, conflict is akiller.
Jacquelyn Jackson (28:06):
It can eat you up.
It can eat you up and that'swhy I think it's so wonderful
and I was so happy my team whenthey was putting everything
together to bring you on.
We were all just having ourlittle conference and
conversation about you and wejust looked at how it relates to
our client base and who we havewe deal with business owner and
real estate investors.
Real estate investors, we foundout they seem to be you would
think it's business owner, but Ithink real estate investors are
(28:28):
the most frustrated groupbecause the information they get
is not right and it's always aconflict because, guess what,
you conflict them with thecontractors, you conflict them
with the bank, you conflict themwith the people that coming out
to do you know partners andstuff like that, and they have
and they don't know you need toget some type of help.
And that's why the girls weresaying, you know the other day,
(28:49):
like man, they need to reach outto Dana.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dana Garnett (28:52):
Yeah, life could be so much easier.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, lifecould be so much easier.
And in fact, that's that's oneof my.
My mission in life is actuallyto help people manage their
lives with greater ease, right,you know?
And because because a bigmantra of mine is happiness is
not getting to a place in lifewith everything's okay and
(29:12):
there's no more problem to solve.
That's not realistic, right.
Happiness is knowing whateverlife throws you, you can handle
it.
Jacquelyn Jackson (29:17):
Exactly.
Dana Garnett (29:19):
And the stuff we're not taught in school.
I figured someone's got to getout there and try to help people
sooner than later.
Jacquelyn Jackson (29:26):
And I think as business owners I'm being
honest we just don't think aboutthat, like you said.
But I can see having bring upand let me say this because it's
coming to me as you talk that,um, you're dealing with people
with different personalities andbackgrounds when you come to
your office, when you come to abusiness and you hiring people
and all of that, and everybodydo good doing the interview and
(29:48):
they do good for the next fouror five months or whatever.
But when conflict happened, yousee a whole different how
people deal and I think with youand I think we talked about a
little bit you'll work withpeople before the conflict but
you'll show them how to dealwith it but also how to notice
other things around before itget there.
That's why I think they shouldget with you, because that's a
good factor as a business owner,that you training me where you
(30:09):
know you need to see wheresomething is warm Cause you said
it's not, the conflict is goingto happen.
You said don't try to get ridof conflict, we just don't want
it to escalate, right, andthat's why?
Let me ask you this this is kindof.
I've had a client say this tome that two of her employees
were into it, you know.
And she said you know, I'm notgoing to get into it, they're
(30:30):
going to have to work that out.
I said I, I think that's wrong.
You're the manager, somethingneed to be said.
But she's like, well, no, theycan do that on their own time,
but shit that something need tobe, you know.
Dana Garnett (30:43):
Yeah, I guess what I would say is what is it
costing you in the business?
To not help intervene andprovide your employees or your
associates the knowledge of howto work it through, because they
were messing up on some of thework because of this conflict.
Jacquelyn Jackson (31:02):
They didn't want to talk to each other, so
they were half doing the work sothey wouldn't speak.
But you got to speak becauseyou're not as productive, you're
not as effective.
You are so right.
Dana Garnett (31:10):
Again poor decision making.
I'm going to avoid this person,so I'm going to avoid doing
this.
And then the team shows up forthe meeting.
It's like why isn't this doneyet?
Well, i'm-.
Jacquelyn Jackson (31:17):
And that's what they run into.
You are correct.
Look at that.
You didn't even talk to them,but you know what you're talking
about and that's exactly whatshe did say there was a problem.
I didn't think of it like that.
Dana Garnett (31:26):
And let me tell you what on behalf of that
manager.
Okay, there's a beautiful quoteby Maya Angelou, which is
everyone does the best they canwith what they know at the time.
If we knew better, we'd dobetter.
(31:46):
So no judgment, no blame onanybody that hasn't considered
getting involved to help theirassociates or their employees.
But once you hear about theopportunity to you know, maybe
there's a chance to bring insome training for your team.
Jacquelyn Jackson (31:58):
You know, if you see that these two people,
yeah, some.
Dana Garnett (32:01):
I get a lot of calls from people saying you
know, I've got this issue withthese people.
But I don't want to.
I don't want to put a spotlighton it and make it look like I'm
kind of, you know, calling themout by, by bringing somebody in
just for them.
You know what can I do?
I'll say, well, you know,calling them out by bringing
somebody in just for them.
You know what can I do?
(32:22):
I'll say, well, you can have ateam, we can do team workshops,
team training, so everybody youknow part of.
Well, maybe you have awell-being program or you've got
, you know, training anddevelopment.
You can bring in conflictmanagement training like that
that allows everybody to get thesame thing, because if
everybody knows how to do this,then it just up levels,
everybody's skills.
Jacquelyn Jackson (32:40):
Exactly so, oh, wow.
So basically, like I said, Iknow we as business owners we
just do things cause we don'tknow, so I do appreciate you
coming in and bringing that in.
So if we could, before we end,can you give us any last um
information that you would likethe listeners to know before we
leave?
Dana Garnett (32:59):
Absolutely, yeah.
Yeah, I think you know wetalked in preparing for this
about emotional intelligence.
Yes, and I just want to say howcritically important that is,
because without understandingemotional intelligence, you will
not solve anything.
Because, we said earlier, itgoes back to emotion.
Jacquelyn Jackson (33:20):
It does.
Dana Garnett (33:21):
And until you understand, you really
appreciate the physiologicaleffect of stress and how stress
affects our emotions.
Our emotions affect our mentalcapacity and then our mental
capacity.
If it's stressed out for solong so we start feeling bad,
the back starts to ache and theneck starts to ache and then we
get diseases.
(33:41):
Then we're so unhappy, you knowit's miserable for everybody,
you know.
So understanding emotionalintelligence is key, and that's
I mean.
A lot of my work is based inthe neuroscience of conflict and
that's how I learned all thismyself and you will live longer.
You will live longer and have ahappier life if you understand
(34:04):
that.
If you are in conflict withyour partner, I would highly
recommend get help.
Get help, don't wait, and youdon't have to wait for your
partner to want to work this outwith you if they don't want to.
That's okay and I would also saybecause business owners I
(34:25):
appreciate as leaders, they feellike they know enough.
They don't need certain youknow skills or anything new to
try to work out things in theirorganization.
But I would highly recommenddon't go it alone.
There's too much writing onyour business to not resolve
(34:46):
things.
Again, what's it costing younot to resolve things?
Nip things in the bud beforethey blow up.
And I base it on a very goldenrule, if you will, for mediators
.
We are trained and taught donot mediate your own family, you
know.
And if your family is yourbusiness, I'm not saying you
(35:06):
have to be related you could beRight but when you work together
as much as you do, it's like afamily, you know.
So, mediators, you know I don'ttry to mediate my family.
Why you may be the greatestnegotiator, you might know
everything about working thingsout with people, but everybody
else can't see you as objective,right?
(35:27):
That's the challenge.
Jacquelyn Jackson (35:29):
So you need to have somebody to come in and
provide some help.
Dana Garnett (35:32):
Yeah, you have your expertise, you have yours,
I have mine.
My sweet spot is high stakes,high emotion, conflict and
getting it resolved quickly andhelping people really avoid all
those pitfalls that could happendown the road and get back to
business, to making money.
Exactly, exactly.
(35:52):
Oh, and one other thing even ifyou're of different cultures,
you know from around the worldit doesn't matter, right, the
beautiful thing.
Going back to emotionalintelligence, because we are all
humanly wired the same way andthe mindful strategy process
that I use, particularly, itcuts through cultural
(36:14):
differences.
Outro (36:15):
Okay.
Dana Garnett (36:16):
Because we all have universal needs to be
understood, to be heard, to beseen for who we are and respect.
Jacquelyn Jackson (36:22):
And respect.
Dana Garnett (36:23):
And so that you know it's.
That's why I say it's.
It's possible, no matter thecircumstances, to resolve things
.
Jacquelyn Jackson (36:29):
To resolve, and that's what we have to know,
as business owners, that we can.
Well, I want to thank you somuch for coming and thank you
for doing the recap and takeaway, because that's basically what
it was and it was great.
So I want to thank you fordoing that, for coming.
Hopefully you can come back andvisit with us again.
Dana Garnett (36:44):
We'd love to Thank you, jackie.
This has been fun, I reallyenjoyed this.
Jacquelyn Jackson (36:48):
I love this stuff.
So, to my listeners, I want tothank you all for coming and
being a part of our podcastlistening group.
If this information, as well asany information we've given you
, is important, you can go toour website Now.
On our website we do have thaton desk.
We'll be there that's linked,where you all can link up with
(37:10):
her, get an appointment with herand see her.
Okay, she's open for it andshe's looking forward for you
guys to touch her, so to reachout to her.
Okay, she's open for it andshe's looking forward for you
guys to touch her, so to reachout to her.
So if you want to learn moreand be a part of our group and
stay in contact with us, log onto our website at
wwwtdjequityllcnet.
Until next time, thank you andtake care.
Intro (37:32):
We hope you enjoyed this episode of TDJ Equity Funding
Insiders Podcast.
If you'd like to be a guest orget in touch with us, please
visit our website attdjequityllcnet.
Forward slash podcast or emailus at podcast at
tdjequityfundinginsidersnet.
Until next time, take care.
Ready to get the inside scoop on equity funding?
Tune in to TDJ Equity FundingInsiders Podcast for an in-depth
look at what it takes to accessfinancial capital and maximize
your investments.
Hear from experiencedprofessionals, including bankers
, underwriters, loan officersand industry experts, as they
(00:36):
share their unfiltered storiesand valuable lessons on securing
funds.
Securing funds.
Jacquelyn Jackson (00:47):
Welcome back to another episode of the TDJ
Equity Funding Insiders podcast.
Today we have a very specialguest co-host joining us who
brings a wealth of knowledge andexperience in the realm of
conflict resolution.
Meet Dana Garnett, the founderand owner of Mindful Strategy.
Dana is a seasoned mediator andconflict strategist with a deep
(01:10):
passion for helping businessowners and professionals
navigate the complex landscapeof interpersonal and
organization conflicts.
With her expertise, dana hasguided countless clients toward
peaceful and productiveresolutions, ensuring their
businesses thrive even in theface of disputes.
(01:33):
As you all know, we are afunding company and we wind up
seeing a lot of this at theclosing table the conflicts that
the owners have with each other, the partners that they have.
So our team felt it was veryimportant to bring someone on
like Dana to come in and talk tous about dealing with conflict
(01:55):
in our business and things ofthat nature.
So it is an absolute, absolutepleasure to have her with us
today.
I want to welcome you, thana,to our podcast.
Dana Garnett (02:07):
Thank you, Jackie.
It is an absolute pleasure tobe here and I just want to say
how much I appreciate what youdo for your clients in helping
to save them unnecessary angstat any point along the road in
working with you.
Jacquelyn Jackson (02:20):
Well, thank you, and that is what we're
about trying to deal with thepain of what our clients come,
because you know getting moneyin the first place is painful.
I mean, you talked about that,we've talked about this before.
You know you come to get moneywhen you don't actually, you
come when you need it.
So the same thing with you,with what you deal with, is when
(02:40):
they come to you, like me, it'smaybe a little bit too late.
So we want to start off withyou explaining that.
Let's go into where you canexplain what mediation is and
how it differs from other formsof conflict resolutions, like
the arbitration and thelitigation Sure.
Dana Garnett (02:55):
Absolutely, and I, just before I go there, just to
say that what I do for myclients.
I help free them from anxietyand give them a whole new lease
on their business and their life.
And these clients are businessowners who are in conflict with
each other, and the mindfulstrategy piece is a really
simple process that helps themget to the heart of things
(03:16):
quickly, clear the deepesttriggers fast and neutralize
that situation so that theystrengthen those relationships
and not sever them.
So when we're talking aboutconflict, like you just said,
too often people come to me verylate.
Everything's boiled up andthey're trying to put out a fire
(03:37):
, and I get that.
It's like why don't people getcybersecurity insurance?
You know?
Intro (03:46):
that kind of thing, Before you need it.
Dana Garnett (03:48):
Why don't they get with you before they need it,
or me, right, but so yeah.
So, going back to what youasked, litigation, arbitration
and mediation, okay, so kind ofa basic definition.
Litigation involves partiesthat are in it.
They've filed a lawsuit againsteach other.
Jacquelyn Jackson (04:08):
Okay.
Dana Garnett (04:09):
Okay, and you can have legal representation
attorneys for each party, or youmight be pro se.
You decide to go this on yourown and you don't have to have
attorneys, but that's the choiceof the parties.
But that said, litigation hasbasically three ways of
resolving.
I'm going to put that in quotesresolving the conflict Either
(04:32):
you settle or the judge, calledan arbitrator, will listen to
all the parties involved in acase and it doesn't have to be
(04:54):
something necessarily filed, butthey listen to this case.
It helps save from litigation,actually, and the arbitrator
decides the outcome.
Oh, okay, and that's a legalbinding document or contract.
Mediation is also having aneutral professional to work
with the parties.
(05:14):
But they are there to guide theparties through a process that
helps them get down to their ownideas and their own terms for
the agreement.
So, for example, a mediatordoes not advise, oh, guides the
process, gotcha, to lead theparties to what can become a
(05:36):
mediated settlement agreement.
And in that process just as acomment about advising some
people will think the mediatorcan give them legal advice, and
mediation ethics actuallypreclude that Even if you're an
attorney, or whether you're anattorney or not, you can be a
mediator either way, but you arenot to give legal advice.
(05:58):
So, parties who come pro se toa mediation, they need to be
able to get their own legalinformation elsewhere.
And I will say on the outset ifyou're in a serious conflict
situation involving yourbusiness or your life in some
way, yes, pro se is a way to go,but you just might need legal
(06:24):
advice.
And I say get it.
That's why attorneys are there.
You need that advice.
But I will say you don't needto lawyer up.
So I'll say that again.
You may need legal advice.
So I say get it right, that'swhat attorneys are for.
But you I would highlyrecommend you don't lawyer up.
(06:44):
That's what takes you down thatslippery slope of litigation,
costly and and you know, and Iwill say that mediation, as I
mentioned earlier, settlementsand option for litigation to end
when you mediate in a in acourt case the problem and I
(07:05):
love mediation, I'm a mediatorand I do it all the time but
what I see is mediation comesway too late in the legal
process and the mediatedsettlement agreement that you
walk away with is usuallysomething that not everybody got
what they wanted.
Jacquelyn Jackson (07:25):
It's more of you settle.
You got to take it, you settle.
Dana Garnett (07:27):
Yeah, but it is not real resolution.
Jacquelyn Jackson (07:31):
I could see that.
Dana Garnett (07:32):
So I'm sitting here with parties wishing I
could have helped them waybefore they even got to this
place.
So mediation has its place andit's good to have that because
it is the only between mediation, arbitration, litigation.
It's the only thing where theclients have complete control of
their destiny.
Jacquelyn Jackson (07:52):
Oh, wow.
Dana Garnett (07:52):
They get to decide if they're going to sign that
agreement or not, because that'salso binding by law.
Okay, okay Now, becausesettlement in mediation is not
real resolution.
What I started doing years agois seeing how can I help people,
particularly business owners,to not even get to mediation.
(08:15):
That's way down the pike andwalking away with something that
they're still not happy with.
And all that disgruntlednessand that resentment and maybe
leftover anger stays with you,oh, wow.
And in the world of health andwell-being, whenever you have
that state if you will andyou're not over it, that's
(08:35):
basically stress turning underthe radar all the time.
Yes, ma'am, it is, and stressis basically a form of dis-ease.
It's the opposite of ease.
And what does dis-ease becomeover time?
Disease, wow, yeah, yeah, right.
So you don't want conflict tojust get settled, you want to
(08:58):
really resolve it, so you don'tsuffer the health challenges
down the road Seriously.
Jacquelyn Jackson (09:04):
And so, again , you saying something we want
to talk about in the show thisearlier and that's why we got
you here, because you know howto cover every basis of
everything but something thatyou said that when it comes to
that conflict, that I think,like I said, they come and they
don't have that at the time theyneed it, it's going to be more
detrimental for them in the longterm.
(09:24):
Now let me show you how itworks with us.
When we have a person come inand they have a partnership and
they haven't dealt with anyunresolved issues, now we don't
know what it is.
We're loan brokers.
You're bringing everything.
You're bringing all thedocuments, you're bringing all
the papers, but what happened?
We have found, eventually,someone doesn't want to do what
you thought they wanted to doand you're in a mid run of an
(09:48):
application process for 1.5million.
This is my thing.
You don't want to find that outin the process of you getting a
loan, that you have someunresolved conflicts.
That is going to affect yourbusiness.
This is why we got.
We have data to come on so youall can see what she has and
what's going on, because it doesaffect you when it comes to
(10:10):
getting funding if you haven'tdealt with it.
So the part that we're going totalk more that you hadn't
mentioned is about the partbefore we.
Now, I know she's a mediator,we got you down as a mediator
and conflict strategy.
We know that.
Okay, she's that.
But before we go there, let'slearn.
Hopefully you all can pick upthe part she's going to tell you
before you get to mediationbecause, like she said, she
(10:33):
cannot guide you anyway, butbefore that she can't if you
come to her, before you gotoward that, that litigation.
So if you would talk more onwhat happens before you prevent,
absolutely yeah.
Dana Garnett (10:45):
I mean it's so possible to resolve any kind of
complex conflict, even if you'rea family business, for example,
and it's conflict or complexgenerational conflict.
If you actually really want toresolve it, you can do that
early on and never have to eventhink about mediation or
(11:08):
arbitration or a lawsuit.
So this is why I startedworking with clients one-on-one
and doing workshops withcompanies years ago because I
was seeing in mediation.
I wish I could impart theseconflict resolution skills to
these parties to the process.
But that's not the place for it.
Mediation is not a teachingopportunity.
(11:29):
But what if I could teachbusiness owners to understand
how to clear whatever's beengoing on, clear those deepest
issues, and then, at the sametime we're doing that, imparting
skills or up leveling,basically their communication
(11:49):
skills?
Jacquelyn Jackson (11:50):
Right.
Dana Garnett (11:50):
So that down the road, when new stuff comes up
and it's going to Risk man, theyknow how to dance with it.
Because when, anytime humansinteract, conflict exists.
So it's not about trying toavoid conflict, you just are
trying to avoid unnecessaryescalation of conflict, gotcha,
you know.
And so if people and Jackie,one of the big things about this
(12:13):
is we're not taught this inschool.
No, ma'am, and this extendsbeyond business Just people,
humans interacting with eachother If we actually had any
clue how easy it is to connectwith somebody on a different
level and not have all this blowup and become a very expensive,
timely process.
(12:33):
So let me say this, notbreaking you up, but you're
saying it's okay to disagree, oh, totally, and that's what I
think.
Jacquelyn Jackson (12:43):
we don't.
We take we so emotional and thething is, I don't know what
make us think that you, weemotional, is.
Business person is personal.
I don't know why we think oncewe start a business, we're not
going to be emotional anymore.
Dana Garnett (12:56):
Yes, you are.
Oh, it's all about emotion.
It's all about emotion.
Yeah, we put business on thefront of it and think we're not
supposed to be emotional.
Jacquelyn Jackson (13:03):
Yeah, it's only emotional and I think
what's great and that's why Ilike you being here and I really
encourage that our businessowners reach out to you or
someone like her, because youhave somebody that's outside,
that's professional and know howconflict resolution should look
.
If you're an owner of a daycare, that is not your job, you
(13:24):
don't know how to deal with it,but guess how much conflict.
You have parents, you have yourworkers, you have your other
managers.
So if you don't have thatskills, guys, it's okay, it's
okay.
If you don't have it, get theskill, get skilled, and that's
where you're going to come inand you can help them.
Because, like I'll be honest,guys, I would wanted her about,
oh, about mediation and how youhandle it and how you meet with
(13:46):
them and you know when you go tocourt and all this stuff.
And she said no, no, no, If Ican, jackie, I want to talk to
them before they get there,because that's the major problem
that can be resolved.
Am I correct?
Absolutely and Absolutely.
And so she's running my podcast, guys, today, and that's okay,
I'm gonna let her run it becauseshe's correct and she knows
(14:07):
what she's talking about.
So, when I was dealing withthat kind of conflict.
What is?
What is the type of conflict?
You see majority that's like inbusiness.
Sure, exactly.
Dana Garnett (14:14):
Well, um, and thank you for all that.
I want to get the message out,you know.
So one of the things I see inbusinesses is a clash of
business strategy or operationalvalues.
Jacquelyn Jackson (14:28):
Okay, explain that.
Give me an example.
Dana Garnett (14:29):
Well, just like, which direction is the business
going to go?
What kind of campaign are wegoing to run?
Oh, I don't agree with that.
I think our market should bethis.
No, I think we should bespending more on advertising
here.
I think we need to bring onthis person.
I don't think we need thatperson.
I mean just general strategyand how to run the company.
A second thing that I often seeis feelings of unfairness.
(14:51):
Perhaps you've got partners twoor more that feel like maybe
somebody is not pulling theirweight Right.
Okay, they're in equal share,but not everybody's pulling
their weight.
Not doing their part, not doingtheir part, exactly, exactly,
(15:11):
yeah, yeah.
And then another one, a famousone, is rivalry, and succession
Doesn't have to be a familybusiness necessarily, but
sibling rivalry.
Or people are competing forthat next top position, right,
and?
Or who's going to take over thebusiness?
And the challenge is here youmay have a business partnership
agreement, which I call abusiness prenup, right, and it's
(15:33):
all written down on paper.
But just like you could have amediated settlement agreement
all written down on paper, noteverybody may have really fully
been aligned with thatpartnership agreement
emotionally and I haven'tthought of that time.
It was signed exactly.
Jacquelyn Jackson (15:51):
You know what and when they're not
emotionally attached.
You know when we take we canfind out you're not emotionally
attached to whatever thatagreement was.
The process of getting money,thank, we find that out real
quick.
That she realized.
You know, I don't think I wantus to get this much.
I thought we could get.
I had one client I'm serious.
She said I thought we weregetting 400,000.
(16:11):
What do you mean?
We're qualified for 1.9 million.
Well, the guys, the otherpartners, say well, hey, we're
growing, we finna go to Colorado, we finna buy this, this, and
that I think it'd be great.
Do you know?
She did not go, but she was 50percent.
Oh, that was.
We were all like are youserious?
So, like you said, he didn'tthink it was a problem.
(16:32):
He said I knew how she was, Iknew how miss Linda did things,
but I didn't think she wouldcome to this point because
that's why we said resolutionbefore they got there.
You need that.
So I think this and you tell mewhat you think Anybody that has
a partnership in business, Ithink they should make an
appointment to at least meetwith you.
Dana Garnett (16:52):
Oh my, you know I cannot.
I cannot think how many times Ihave said I wish there was a
requirement yeah, some kind of arequirement for people to have
to go through a conflictmanagement skills, you know,
training to before you get intopartnership.
You know it goes back toinsurance, right?
(17:14):
Right, we insure our companiesfor theft and liability in the
storms of mother nature, but dowe ever think about preventing
our business from the storms ofhuman nature?
Jacquelyn Jackson (17:22):
Wow, seriously, that says a lot.
Dana Garnett (17:24):
It says when humans interact, there's
conflict.
How do you keep those emotionalstorms from blowing things up?
But the thing is, people getinsurance for their car because
they have to.
It's the law, right.
Jacquelyn Jackson (17:35):
Regulate it.
Dana Garnett (17:36):
Liability insurance, but cyber, no,
regulate it Exactly.
Jacquelyn Jackson (17:39):
You got to do it, and so any other kind of
agreement you know, so I mean Iknow we can't, I can't enforce
that, but we strongly, stronglyrecommend, you know, and I think
, what even with my being incertain business, I haven't had
a conflict resolution withsomeone, I hadn't went through
the process that you say, but Ihave been through dealing with
(18:00):
other mediation type things andI can actually see how, having
you in the beginning of mybusiness, just to learn it and
I'm going to tell you somethingelse that I thought of while you
were just talking, because Ihave business clients, I have
clients that have problem withpeople underneath them, the
management and I just realizedthat's a conflict.
You need to talk to a conflictresolution to show you how to
(18:23):
handle it, because you know what, as an owner of a business, we
don't know if we crazy asketchup, you just don't know you
are.
Everybody else know you are,but you don't know.
So if you have a conflict, Ithink when you're coming in you
can actually work on that part.
That helped them to be the typeof leader they need, because
conflict is going to come.
But we do not take a class forconflict resolution.
Dana Garnett (18:44):
No, we don't.
We don't and sadly, it's costlywhen we don't have those skills
.
It's costly.
It is Time, money wasted.
We make poor decisions when weare conflicted because we don't
see the big picture.
We don't have the freshperspective.
That's true and that is one ofthe big problems with that
(19:06):
Missed opportunities.
Outro (19:08):
Right.
Dana Garnett (19:08):
And let me tell you what your clients pick up on
the vibe when you guys are notin harmony with each other.
And I'm not talking verbally,I'm talking.
They just know.
Jacquelyn Jackson (19:20):
Right.
Dana Garnett (19:21):
And going back to that example, you used the
gentleman that thought he knewhis partner.
We think a lot about what wethink we know, but until you
actually work through things youdon't know and honestly, what I
have found nine times out of 10, what the heart of that issue
is when you get down to it andit's easy to get to it fast, but
when you do get down to it,everyone's surprised, like I
(19:42):
didn't know.
That was the problem.
Jacquelyn Jackson (19:44):
Wow, wow.
Dana Garnett (19:44):
Yeah.
Jacquelyn Jackson (19:46):
At TDJ Equity Funding, we understand the
challenges you face, whetheryou're expanding your business,
investing in real estate orlaunching a startup.
We've got your back.
Our expert team of loan brokersis dedicated to helping you
secure the funding you needhassle-free to helping you
secure the funding you needhassle-free.
Imagine a future where yourbusiness thrives, where
opportunities are endless andworking capital has made a great
(20:08):
difference in your business.
Tdj Equity Funding can make ithappen.
Book an appointment with us aseasy as pie.
Just visit our website atwwwtdjequityllcnet and take the
first step towards yourfinancial success.
Don't let your dreams gatherdust on the shelf.
Seize the opportunity today.
(20:29):
Visit wwwtdjequityllcnet andschedule your appointment with
TDJ Equity Funding.
Let's turn your dreams intodollars.
Outro (20:41):
Welcome to Frameworks Consortium, your partner for
sustainable business success.
Frameworks Consortium yourpartner for sustainable business
success.
Frameworks Consortium is yourstrategic guide, providing you
with clear, actionable roadmapsto achieve your business goals.
Our team of seasonedstrategists provides expert
guidance, ensuring you makeinformed decisions with clarity
and confidence.
We develop customized solutionsthat align with your unique
(21:02):
business objectives, fosteringgrowth and resilience in an
ever-changing businessenvironment.
Jacquelyn Jackson (21:07):
Connect with us today and harness the power
of strategic planning for yourbusiness what do you think, what
are some of the key strategiesyou think business owners can do
to can help with the partnerconflict?
Dana Garnett (21:19):
thing?
Sure, and I love that questionbecause I could say, oh, do this
, this and this right.
However, that's going to, withall due respect, that's going to
fall on deaf ears, or arethey're going to think they know
what to do now for themselvesbefore they really understand?
Three key strategies, okay,okay, and these are in the form
(21:45):
of questions.
Number one do you really wantto resolve this situation and
again, with due respect, or isit lip?
Jacquelyn Jackson (21:54):
service.
So you're basically saying askyourself some questions?
Dana Garnett (21:58):
Yes, Do you read?
Yes, and I'm like.
These are the questions I askpeople before I even work with
them.
Jacquelyn Jackson (22:04):
Okay.
Dana Garnett (22:05):
Do you really want to resolve this?
Okay, that's true, and becauseif you're just complaining and
saying I just want to put abandaid on this and fix this so
we can move on, but you're notreally wanting to really get
this cleared, then I can't helpyou because you're not going to
do what's necessary.
And not going to be committed toit Exactly.
And the second point is are youopen to doing something
(22:27):
different so you actually get adifferent result?
It goes back to that definitionof insanity.
We've been spending for years.
My partner does this, mypartner does that, doesn't see
it the way I do.
Well, have you tried somethingdifferent?
And if you haven't, then you'renot going to get a different
result.
And, sadly, the decisions we'vebeen making up to this point in
(22:48):
our life or in our business, weare where we are because of
those decisions Exactly.
But if you're open to tryingsomething different, you're
going to get a different result.
Jacquelyn Jackson (23:01):
And we have to be open for something
different.
And business owners, we usuallydon't be open for different and
, you're right, that can add tothe conflict.
Exactly.
Dana Garnett (23:10):
And that goes back to your point about commitment.
If you really want to getresolved and you are open to
doing something different, doingwhat's necessary, and you
really want to get resolved andyou are open to doing something
different, doing what'snecessary, and you're committed
to that, to committed toup-leveling your company, is
that like the number three, whatyou said, that's number three,
yeah, yeah.
Now, those three things I mean,before we even talk about
strategy, that's the big picturestrategy, you know, making sure
(23:32):
you really want to get thisdone.
Once you've got that, if yes,yes, yes to those three things,
yay, then the three things Iwant to make sure people
understand is strategically, itonly takes one person to shift
the entire dynamics of aconflict.
So let's say you and yourpartner are at odds with each
(23:53):
other about something right.
Okay, but your partner has toldyou please don't put me in front
of somebody to try to work thisout.
I do not want to sit around thetable and try to work this out.
Maybe they're so upset, that'sokay.
You don't need everybody aroundthe table.
If you're the one who reallywants to resolve it and you're
open to what it takes and you'recommitted to put that time in
(24:16):
and we're talking over a monthor two you can get this thing
resolved.
Jacquelyn Jackson (24:20):
Now you're saying wait, wait.
Are you saying that you canwork with just me?
Yes, that's new Cause.
I thought whoever I have aproblem with in management or
whatever, then they have to bethere and we got to work this
out with you, right and let me.
Dana Garnett (24:35):
this goes back to mediation.
That's good.
Yeah, it is, it's wonderful.
This goes back to mediation.
In mediation, let's say it's acourt ordered case, right, and
they order mediation.
Outro (24:46):
Okay.
Dana Garnett (24:46):
When people are told by the judge you've got to
go to mediation.
Nobody wants to be there.
Who wants to be told you've gotto work things out?
So therein lies the challengeto even getting to a decent
mediated settlement agreement tostart.
So if your partner does notwant to work with you, that's
okay, but if you really want toresolve things, you can do it on
(25:08):
your own.
Yeah, it just takes one personto shift the entire dynamics,
and I'm proof, by the way, Iwent through a life crisis,
discovered all of this.
I became a mediator because ofmy own situation in life.
Jacquelyn Jackson (25:20):
Okay.
Dana Garnett (25:21):
And did a huge dive into the neuroscience of
conflict.
And when I picked up on allthese skills and everything and
lived through it myself andturned around things and got
completely over, it was a hugedivorce that involved some
business properties with my nowex-husband I.
Actually today we get alonggreat.
We go on vacations with ourkids.
(25:42):
I mean we have no issue.
But you did that with you.
Yeah, I did so.
I was, I saw, and what he hasdone or not done in his life to
work things through for himself,that's not for me to judge.
Wow, and what I discovered wasjust by shifting my own
(26:02):
perspective and changing fromwithin, it changed everything
and it gave our children at thattime and now in life such
relief.
We can get together for anythingweddings, funerals, graduations
, holidays, you name it Our kidsaren't going.
Oh my God, please, mom, dad,don't blow up again.
No, that never happens.
(26:22):
But I don't mean thatsurreptitiously, I'm just saying
it's real.
And so when I started workingwith clients, I discovered I can
teach them how to do this.
I can actually help you bythemselves, without the partner.
Because what happens whenyou've got this going on right?
People are clashing.
Intro (26:38):
Right.
Dana Garnett (26:38):
The other person learns how to show up
differently, this goes away andthere's nothing to hit on.
That's why I say you get to theheart of it fast.
That's a good one.
Clear the deepest triggers,which neutralizes the situation
and strengthens thoserelationships, and your partner
may never even know you got help.
If you want to tell them,that's fine.
Hey, if your partner's on boardand wants to work with you on
(27:00):
it, please let's do it.
But it does not require that.
So that's that, once you areopen to it and all that kind of
stuff.
That's one big thing I wantpeople to know.
Another one is that in theprocess, if you are the only
person or if you are workingtogether, it doesn't matter.
I start with putting you first,and what's what sounds like
(27:23):
it's counterintuitive, butpeople always say, put yourself
in the other person's shoes yeah, we get to that at some point.
But no one's going to want todo that unless they really value
it, like they feel like I'mmost important and and and
putting yourself first is whatwe do first.
And I help people to see whyit's so important to resolve
this conflict Because, at theend of the day, when we develop
(27:45):
all these skills, understandinghow to do this effectively is
self-preservation.
It goes back to that dis-easeRight and not having a stroke
midlife.
I've seen it happen.
Jacquelyn Jackson (27:58):
Right, it's real, it's real.
Dana Garnett (28:00):
Yeah, and not dying before we need to.
I'm serious, conflict is akiller.
Jacquelyn Jackson (28:06):
It can eat you up.
It can eat you up and that'swhy I think it's so wonderful
and I was so happy my team whenthey was putting everything
together to bring you on.
We were all just having ourlittle conference and
conversation about you and wejust looked at how it relates to
our client base and who we havewe deal with business owner and
real estate investors.
Real estate investors, we foundout they seem to be you would
think it's business owner, but Ithink real estate investors are
(28:28):
the most frustrated groupbecause the information they get
is not right and it's always aconflict because, guess what,
you conflict them with thecontractors, you conflict them
with the bank, you conflict themwith the people that coming out
to do you know partners andstuff like that, and they have
and they don't know you need toget some type of help.
And that's why the girls weresaying, you know the other day,
(28:49):
like man, they need to reach outto Dana.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dana Garnett (28:52):
Yeah, life could be so much easier.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, lifecould be so much easier.
And in fact, that's that's oneof my.
My mission in life is actuallyto help people manage their
lives with greater ease, right,you know?
And because because a bigmantra of mine is happiness is
not getting to a place in lifewith everything's okay and
(29:12):
there's no more problem to solve.
That's not realistic, right.
Happiness is knowing whateverlife throws you, you can handle
it.
Jacquelyn Jackson (29:17):
Exactly.
Dana Garnett (29:19):
And the stuff we're not taught in school.
I figured someone's got to getout there and try to help people
sooner than later.
Jacquelyn Jackson (29:26):
And I think as business owners I'm being
honest we just don't think aboutthat, like you said.
But I can see having bring upand let me say this because it's
coming to me as you talk that,um, you're dealing with people
with different personalities andbackgrounds when you come to
your office, when you come to abusiness and you hiring people
and all of that, and everybodydo good doing the interview and
(29:48):
they do good for the next fouror five months or whatever.
But when conflict happened, yousee a whole different how
people deal and I think with youand I think we talked about a
little bit you'll work withpeople before the conflict but
you'll show them how to dealwith it but also how to notice
other things around before itget there.
That's why I think they shouldget with you, because that's a
good factor as a business owner,that you training me where you
(30:09):
know you need to see wheresomething is warm Cause you said
it's not, the conflict is goingto happen.
You said don't try to get ridof conflict, we just don't want
it to escalate, right, andthat's why?
Let me ask you this this is kindof.
I've had a client say this tome that two of her employees
were into it, you know.
And she said you know, I'm notgoing to get into it, they're
(30:30):
going to have to work that out.
I said I, I think that's wrong.
You're the manager, somethingneed to be said.
But she's like, well, no, theycan do that on their own time,
but shit that something need tobe, you know.
Dana Garnett (30:43):
Yeah, I guess what I would say is what is it
costing you in the business?
To not help intervene andprovide your employees or your
associates the knowledge of howto work it through, because they
were messing up on some of thework because of this conflict.
Jacquelyn Jackson (31:02):
They didn't want to talk to each other, so
they were half doing the work sothey wouldn't speak.
But you got to speak becauseyou're not as productive, you're
not as effective.
You are so right.
Dana Garnett (31:10):
Again poor decision making.
I'm going to avoid this person,so I'm going to avoid doing
this.
And then the team shows up forthe meeting.
It's like why isn't this doneyet?
Well, i'm-.
Jacquelyn Jackson (31:17):
And that's what they run into.
You are correct.
Look at that.
You didn't even talk to them,but you know what you're talking
about and that's exactly whatshe did say there was a problem.
I didn't think of it like that.
Dana Garnett (31:26):
And let me tell you what on behalf of that
manager.
Okay, there's a beautiful quoteby Maya Angelou, which is
everyone does the best they canwith what they know at the time.
If we knew better, we'd dobetter.
(31:46):
So no judgment, no blame onanybody that hasn't considered
getting involved to help theirassociates or their employees.
But once you hear about theopportunity to you know, maybe
there's a chance to bring insome training for your team.
Jacquelyn Jackson (31:58):
You know, if you see that these two people,
yeah, some.
Dana Garnett (32:01):
I get a lot of calls from people saying you
know, I've got this issue withthese people.
But I don't want to.
I don't want to put a spotlighton it and make it look like I'm
kind of, you know, calling themout by, by bringing somebody in
just for them.
You know what can I do?
I'll say, well, you know,calling them out by bringing
somebody in just for them.
You know what can I do?
(32:22):
I'll say, well, you can have ateam, we can do team workshops,
team training, so everybody youknow part of.
Well, maybe you have awell-being program or you've got
, you know, training anddevelopment.
You can bring in conflictmanagement training like that
that allows everybody to get thesame thing, because if
everybody knows how to do this,then it just up levels,
everybody's skills.
Jacquelyn Jackson (32:40):
Exactly so, oh, wow.
So basically, like I said, Iknow we as business owners we
just do things cause we don'tknow, so I do appreciate you
coming in and bringing that in.
So if we could, before we end,can you give us any last um
information that you would likethe listeners to know before we
leave?
Dana Garnett (32:59):
Absolutely, yeah.
Yeah, I think you know wetalked in preparing for this
about emotional intelligence.
Yes, and I just want to say howcritically important that is,
because without understandingemotional intelligence, you will
not solve anything.
Because, we said earlier, itgoes back to emotion.
Jacquelyn Jackson (33:20):
It does.
Dana Garnett (33:21):
And until you understand, you really
appreciate the physiologicaleffect of stress and how stress
affects our emotions.
Our emotions affect our mentalcapacity and then our mental
capacity.
If it's stressed out for solong so we start feeling bad,
the back starts to ache and theneck starts to ache and then we
get diseases.
(33:41):
Then we're so unhappy, you knowit's miserable for everybody,
you know.
So understanding emotionalintelligence is key, and that's
I mean.
A lot of my work is based inthe neuroscience of conflict and
that's how I learned all thismyself and you will live longer.
You will live longer and have ahappier life if you understand
(34:04):
that.
If you are in conflict withyour partner, I would highly
recommend get help.
Get help, don't wait, and youdon't have to wait for your
partner to want to work this outwith you if they don't want to.
That's okay and I would also saybecause business owners I
(34:25):
appreciate as leaders, they feellike they know enough.
They don't need certain youknow skills or anything new to
try to work out things in theirorganization.
But I would highly recommenddon't go it alone.
There's too much writing onyour business to not resolve
(34:46):
things.
Again, what's it costing younot to resolve things?
Nip things in the bud beforethey blow up.
And I base it on a very goldenrule, if you will, for mediators
.
We are trained and taught donot mediate your own family, you
know.
And if your family is yourbusiness, I'm not saying you
(35:06):
have to be related you could beRight but when you work together
as much as you do, it's like afamily, you know.
So, mediators, you know I don'ttry to mediate my family.
Why you may be the greatestnegotiator, you might know
everything about working thingsout with people, but everybody
else can't see you as objective,right?
(35:27):
That's the challenge.
Jacquelyn Jackson (35:29):
So you need to have somebody to come in and
provide some help.
Dana Garnett (35:32):
Yeah, you have your expertise, you have yours,
I have mine.
My sweet spot is high stakes,high emotion, conflict and
getting it resolved quickly andhelping people really avoid all
those pitfalls that could happendown the road and get back to
business, to making money.
Exactly, exactly.
(35:52):
Oh, and one other thing even ifyou're of different cultures,
you know from around the worldit doesn't matter, right, the
beautiful thing.
Going back to emotionalintelligence, because we are all
humanly wired the same way andthe mindful strategy process
that I use, particularly, itcuts through cultural
(36:14):
differences.
Outro (36:15):
Okay.
Dana Garnett (36:16):
Because we all have universal needs to be
understood, to be heard, to beseen for who we are and respect.
Jacquelyn Jackson (36:22):
And respect.
Dana Garnett (36:23):
And so that you know it's.
That's why I say it's.
It's possible, no matter thecircumstances, to resolve things
.
Jacquelyn Jackson (36:29):
To resolve, and that's what we have to know,
as business owners, that we can.
Well, I want to thank you somuch for coming and thank you
for doing the recap and takeaway, because that's basically what
it was and it was great.
So I want to thank you fordoing that, for coming.
Hopefully you can come back andvisit with us again.
Dana Garnett (36:44):
We'd love to Thank you, jackie.
This has been fun, I reallyenjoyed this.
Jacquelyn Jackson (36:48):
I love this stuff.
So, to my listeners, I want tothank you all for coming and
being a part of our podcastlistening group.
If this information, as well asany information we've given you
, is important, you can go toour website Now.
On our website we do have thaton desk.
We'll be there that's linked,where you all can link up with
(37:10):
her, get an appointment with herand see her.
Okay, she's open for it andshe's looking forward for you
guys to touch her, so to reachout to her.
Okay, she's open for it andshe's looking forward for you
guys to touch her, so to reachout to her.
So if you want to learn moreand be a part of our group and
stay in contact with us, log onto our website at
wwwtdjequityllcnet.
Until next time, thank you andtake care.
Intro (37:32):
We hope you enjoyed this episode of TDJ Equity Funding
Insiders Podcast.
If you'd like to be a guest orget in touch with us, please
visit our website attdjequityllcnet.
Forward slash podcast or emailus at podcast at
tdjequityfundinginsidersnet.
Until next time, take care.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.