March 18, 2025 • 30 mins
You’re tired, but is it just exhaustion, or is it something deeper? If no amount of sleep seems to help, if even small tasks feel overwhelming, or if you feel disconnected from the things that used to bring you joy, you might be dealing with emotional exhaustion—not just physical fatigue.
In this episode of Tea with Tanya, we’re diving deep into:
- How to recognize emotional exhaustion and why it’s more than just needing rest
- The hidden signs of burnout—including weight gain, brain fog, irritability, and digestive issues
- How stress impacts your body and why it might be affecting your metabolism, mood, and overall well-being
- The 5 key steps to recovering from emotional exhaustion—without guilt
- How to break the cycle of burnout and embrace true rest, joy, and balance
I’m sharing my own experience navigating emotional exhaustion as a nonprofit founder, podcast host, full-time grad student, and full-time employee and how stress was affecting my body in ways I didn’t even realize.
This week’s Post-It Note Affirmation:
"I am allowed to rest. My body and mind deserve care, not punishment. My worth is not measured by how much I do."
Join the Conversation:
- DM me on Instagram (@teawithtanyapodcast) and share: What’s one way you’re choosing to rest this week?
- If this episode spoke to you, share it in your stories and tag me because more women need to hear this.
Listen now and start reclaiming your energy!
Thank you so much for tuning in to Tea with Tanya! If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate and leave a review — it helps the show grow and reach more listeners. Join the conversation on Instagram using #teawithtanya #Teawithtanyapodcast, and don’t forget to tag us!
Visit my website at tanyakambrose.com for more resources. Be sure to follow us on Instagram @teawithtanyapodcast and @tanyakambrose, and sign up for my Tea Talk newsletter to stay updated with all things wellness and self-care!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Tea with Tanya.
I'm your host, tanya Ambrose,an average millennial navigating
life as a maternal healthprofessional, non-profit founder
and grad student.
Join me in the tea tasting roomwhere we spill the tea on
finding balance and promotingpositive living while doing it
all.
(00:20):
Hey friend, welcome back to Teawith Tanya, your space for real
, honest and transformativeconversations about health,
wellness and promoting positiveliving.
I hope you've done somethingfor yourself, because you know
we try to pour into ourselvesbefore we come back to the tea
(00:40):
tasting room.
For another week For me, I'vebeen on spring break from school
.
Honestly, that doesn't meananything for me because I work
full time, do so many otherthings.
So even that quote unquotebreak from school wasn't
necessarily.
It was a break from school.
I didn't have any assignmentsthat I had to think about, but
my spring break was on springbreak.
But nevertheless, I am gratefulfor not having to think about
(01:01):
school and by the time you hearthis episode, it is literally
going to be the next day afterreturning to school from spring
break.
So the time is winding down, myfriend.
The time is winding down.
Your girl is literally a fewweeks away from graduating and I
don't know how to feel still,like I said on the last episode,
I'm just, I don't know.
I don't know what to do.
(01:21):
It's still a bittersweet, but Iam looking forward to that day
where I can hopefully get somemore time in my life to do some
of the other things that Ialready do, but nevertheless, I
hope you did something foryourself for this week.
As you know, friend, it isWomen's History Month, and while
we celebrate the incrediblewomen who have paved the way for
(01:44):
us, we also need to have anhonest conversation about the
reality of that legacy.
Because, let's be real, so manyof the women who came before us
.
They were strong, resilient andgroundbreaking, but they were
also exhausted, overworked andcarrying burdens they shouldn't
have had to carry alone, if wekeep it in the book, but for
(02:06):
generations, women have beenexpected to do it all to push
through exhaustion, sacrifice,sleep, ignore stress and show up
for everyone but themselves.
We've watched our mothers,grandmothers and ancestors work
twice as hard, live and do itmore, more and never complain.
And if we're not careful, wecontinue that cycle that's
(02:28):
running on fumes, constantlyoverwhelmed and feeling like no
matter how much risks we get,we're still drained, and I've
been feeling this firsthand, ifI can be honest with you, my
friend, my body has been sendingme all the signals, like all
the signals you can think of,the weight gain, the bloating,
the sluggishness.
And for a while I kept thinkingokay, you know what, maybe I
(02:50):
need to change my diet or workout more.
Mind you, I'm not a person thatnecessarily eat unhealthy.
I barely even eat, if I'm beinghonest.
But when I do, I mean that'snot so wrong.
But when I do, it's alwayssomething somewhat healthy, it's
nothing unhealthy or anythingbad.
Last year I started working outwith a trainer.
The first half of the year Isaw changes in my body, I was
(03:10):
feeling good, and then I felloff the wagon the second half of
the year.
And then I am back to workingout with a trainer now again,
but this time just seemed alittle bit different.
So you know, through therapyand just really observing what's
happening within and out of mybody, you know, when I really
sat with it I realized, you know, my stress levels are through
(03:32):
the roof.
Ok, at this point they'rebeyond the roof, they're heading
to the sky at this point intime.
And you know, between wanting anonprofit that's growing, the
things that I've always wantedand I've envisioned when I first
started this nonprofit.
You know they're happening.
Slow and steady obviously winsthe race.
They're happening.
I think God is just telling me.
You know what, tanya?
I know you got this, you canhandle everything.
(03:53):
So I'm going to start answeringall the prayers all at once,
you know.
But I'm not complaining.
I am not complaining at all.
But between running a nonprofit,hosting this podcast, being a
full-time grad student andworking full-time and still
trying to be present for myloved ones, my body is in
survival mode.
And when you're constantly insurvival mode, your body holds
(04:13):
on to every single thing theweight, the stress, the
exhaustion, even emotions youhaven't processed.
And if I'm being honest, friend, I am still working or still
need to process some of theemotions from 2024, to be honest
with you, at least the latterhalf or the latter part of 2024.
So today we are breaking thatcycle, because burnout is not a
(04:35):
badge of honor.
Feeling drained all the time isnot normal, and if you've been
feeling this way, like you'rerunning an empty, you're
overwhelmed and disconnectedfrom yourself, well, my friend,
this episode is for you.
Okay, we're going to talk aboutwhat emotional exhaustion
really looks like, how torecognize when you're past the
point of just being tired and,most importantly, how to recover
(04:58):
and reclaim your energy.
So grab your tea, get cozy andlet's get into it.
Okay, now let's talk about whatemotional exhaustion really
looks like, because this isn'tjust the oh I didn't get enough
sleep last night Kind of tired.
It's much deeper.
This is deeper.
This is the kind of tired thatlingers that no amount of coffee
(05:20):
can fix it.
Now I know in here, you knowwe're all about the tea, we're
all about the tea tasting.
We are tea girlies.
But we know again, many, manypeople do drink coffee and they
do that to essentially give themthe energy so they can continue
to go and go and go.
But this is not the kind oftide that coffee is going to fix
in the next morning.
(05:40):
You know it doesn't go awayeven after a full night's sleep
or weekend of rest.
It's the kind of it doesn't goaway even after a full night's
sleep or a weekend of rest.
It's the kind of exhaustionthat doesn't just live in your
mind, it shows up in your body,your emotions and your ability
to function day to day.
So I want to talk about some ofthe signs that you are
emotionally exhausted, and someof these signs that I'm going to
be sharing with you is what Iwould have observed in myself
(06:03):
and what my way to talk about itwith you.
So some of that is small tasksfeel overwhelming, like things
that used to be simple.
Let's say, for answering anemail, making a decision or even
getting out of bed now feellike a massive effort.
Even something as small asresponding to a text message
(06:24):
feels like too much, and for me,I've always been the person
that if you sent me a text todayon email at 10 o'clock, by 10
or 1 or 10 or 2, you're gettinga response.
That's the kind of person thatI am Not anymore Like these
tasks.
They just feel overwhelming.
Like I'm the person now where Irespond to a message or a text.
Like I'm the person now where Irespond to a message or a text
(06:46):
a text or an email a day or twolater or many hours after
receiving said message.
So that is one of the signs thatyou are emotionally exhausted.
The other one is no matter howmuch you rest, you still feel
drained.
You could get eight hours ofsleep, you could take a day off
or even go on a vacation andstill wake up exhausted.
Then you start to realize thatsleep isn't fixing the issue,
(07:07):
because your exhaustion isn'tjust physical, it's emotional,
mental and even spiritual.
The other thing is you feeldisconnected from things that
used to bring you joy.
You're no longer excited aboutyour favorite hobbies music or
shows and even spending timewith loved ones feels draining
instead of fulfilling.
I know, for me, music is myescape, for whatever reason.
(07:28):
So when you hear artists saying, you know, music is my escape,
it's my therapy, it is true forme.
Because I could be cleaning,cooking, whatever I'm doing in
the car, because one thing I'mgoing to do is have a carpool
karaoke.
I'm going to listen to musicover and over and over.
Sometimes I could be sad asheck, but I'm going to listen to
the saddest songs.
Don't ask me why.
I don't know what's the sciencebehind of that, but even that
became.
You know, I just feltdisconnected, in a sense, from
(07:50):
my music.
I wasn't listening to my musicthe way I used to.
If I was, it wasn't bringing methe joy that I used to.
I'm a TV show girlie.
I would watch every TV showunder the sun.
In recent times I have fallenso behind on my TV shows, I was
like what in the world is goingon?
This is not me.
There are TV shows that I'mstill yet to watch.
No.
So my best friend would havegone on without me watching
(08:10):
these different shows.
And then I have to give a shoutout to a very consistent
listener, lala, because we tendto exchange voice notes from
time to time, talking aboutthese different shows.
But I started feelingdisconnected.
I'm not there right now becauseI'm back into my catching up in
my TV show era.
But that's also a sign that youare emotionally exhausted.
And then there is theirritability and brain fog.
(08:31):
You find yourself snapping atpeople over the smallest things.
You struggle to concentrate,forget things easily and feel
like your brain is running onslow mode.
For me I will say my brain iswanting in fast motion, like my
brain moves a mile per half asecond, like that's how much my
brain has been going.
So you also get that.
You know you're just irritatedfor no reason.
(08:52):
Sometimes you're snapping atpeople who just even looked at
you too hard.
You know that's also anotherissue.
And then you think about thephysical symptoms weight gain,
the bloating, muscle tension,gut issues.
You know your body is holdingon to stress and it's
manifesting as extra weight,digestive problems or just
constant aches and pains.
Your digestion is going to beoff, your appetite fluctuates
(09:15):
and you feel like your body isjust stuck in that survival mode
For me.
I know this feeling all toowell because, again, between
just running this nonprofit andhosting this podcast, talking to
you every week, I felt theweight of emotional exhaustion
firsthand.
And recently I've noticedsomething else and that is a
(09:37):
weight gain.
To me, it's a drastic weightgain.
To other people oh, tanya, youlook good, your body good, you
had a good up, good up body.
The shape is.
You know, the shape is there,it's given.
Don't get me wrong.
But I remember growing up when Iwas like small, like a pencil
you know the number two pencilsthat we have, that's how small I
was and I remember alwayswanting to oh, I want to gain
(10:02):
five.
For essentially I wasn't eatingdrastically different, I wasn't
skipping workouts.
My body just felt really heavy.
It just felt heavier, it feltmore inflamed, more bloated,
more sluggish and for a while Ikept thinking maybe I just need
to eat better and get back intothe gym and start working out.
But when I really sat with itbecause these days I've been
(10:23):
sitting with a lot of things.
It wasn't about me not workingout four or five times a week,
or three, four times a week.
It was about the stress that Iwas carrying.
It was about the pressure I wasputting on myself, the way I
constantly.
I was always constantly in astate of overworking,
(10:45):
overthinking and overcommitting.
And let me tell you, my friend,stress is such a sneaky culprit
because it affects our hormones, our metabolism and our
appetite and before you know it,you've gained weight without
even realizing how or why.
Because, let me tell you, Ijust woke up one morning and I
was like, girl, you're thickerthan a sneaker, like you're
giving a sneaker and a Twix mixtogether at this point in time.
(11:06):
But it's not just about theweight as well.
It was about the inflammation,the bloating, the tension in my
shoulders, the gut issues, themigraines.
You guys know I constantly talkabout the chronic migraines
that I have, you know, becausethat is that was a sign that you
know what your body isscreaming for relief.
You're too busy to listen.
That's when I had to take astep back and ask myself am I
(11:28):
just tired or is my bodyshutting down?
Because I'm emotionallyexhausted and I had to ask my
question, that question tomyself over and over and over.
And here's what I've learnedwhen we're emotionally exhausted
, our body's going to what wecall a fight or flight mode, and
when that happens, our cortisollevels spike.
And what does your cortisollevel do?
It makes our bodies store fat,retain water, crave sugar and
(11:52):
hold on to weight, not becausewe're eating bad, but because
our bodies think we're in dangerand need to conserve energy.
You could be eating healthy,moving your body, doing
everything right, but if you'reoperating in a constant state of
stress, your body is going toprioritize survival over weight
loss, digestion or even rest.
(12:13):
So let me tell you some of thethings that I've had to learn
when it comes to having a highcortisol level.
So high cortisol equals stressweight, that's, stored fat,
especially around the belly.
I have spoken about this manytimes.
I'm thinking about my belly'sgiving.
That I'm, you know.
Is this giving too big?
What's going on?
This is not me weight shaminganyone, or me even no, it's just
(12:33):
what I've noticed.
But also, this is what happenswhen you have high cortisol
levels.
So that's stress weight, storedfat, especially around the
belly.
It's going to be increasedcravings, especially for sugar
and carbs, and then it's goingto be disrupted digestion and
gut health and hormonalimbalances that make weight loss
harder.
I've been in the gym almostthree months now well, two and a
(12:59):
half months, essentially and Ihaven't necessarily seen much of
a change yet, whereas last year, when I started the gym back in
January, I was already seeing adrastic improvement or change
in my body and how it looked, byMarch as well, and that's when
I had to start looking intomyself because, again, this is
not what I want.
The body may look good, thebody good up, good up.
The shape is there, it's givingCoca-Cola, but it's not.
My knees are hurting.
It's just not where I want tobe.
From a health standpoint,especially for someone who has
(13:20):
high cholesterol, you definitelywant to ensure that you're
getting your cortisol level 12.
That's manageable as well, sothat's something you also want
to talk to your doctor about aswell.
So if you've been gainingweight and you don't know, you
(13:49):
don't know, you don't understandwhy, or if your body feels
inflamed, bloated or just off,don't just look at your diet, my
friend.
Look at your stress levels,your emotions, your nervous
system, because this isn't justabout food is overwhelming.
No matter how much you rest,you still feel drained, you feel
disconnected from things thatused to bring you joy
irritability and brain fog, andthen the physical symptoms, such
as you know, weight gain,bloating, muscle tension and gut
issues as well.
So you definitely want toensure that you are taking good
care of yourself.
(14:09):
You're looking in to see whatis causing my weight gain, what
is causing me to feel off Again,that high cortisol level that's
going to equal to the stressweight, how you show up in your
body storing excess fat,especially on your abdomen, your
belly area, these differentthings.
So you definitely want to lookinto that because, again, it's
not about food.
It's about how safe, rested andnourished your body feels.
(14:31):
So now that we know whatemotional exhaustion looks like,
let's talk about how weactually recover, because this
isn't just about taking a nap.
It's about reprogramming theway we take care of ourselves.
Okay, friend, we've beenconditioned for a very long time
to believe that rest issomething that we earned after
(14:52):
working ourselves to the pointof exhaustion.
If you can relate, just take asip of your tea or just wave
your hand.
But rare recovery.
It starts with unlearning thosebeliefs and giving ourselves
permission to rest, setboundaries and choose joy
without guilt.
That was a big one for me aswell choosing joy without
feeling guilty.
This is also about breaking thecycle of burnout and creating a
(15:15):
life that feels nourishing, notjust productive.
So let's get into it.
Here are the five key steps toactually recovering from
emotional exhaustion, and whatI'm sharing with you is what I
have gone through, what I'mcurrently going through, as well
as the steps I'm taking toreally and truly recover from
that.
And step one is rest withoutguilt.
(15:37):
My friend, if you take one thingfrom this episode, let it be
this Rest is not a reward, it'sa requirement.
Rest is not a reward, it is arequirement.
We live in a world thatglorifies overworking, but let
me just say this loud and clearListen to this you do not have
(15:57):
to be exhausted to be worthy andI've had to learn this lesson
the hard way when I experiencedmy burnout for the first time
back in 2022.
You don't have to earn yourrest.
Your body, your mind and yourspirit they all need time to
reset.
Sometimes we see on socialmedia when we talk about, you
know, sunday reset, no, yourbody, your mind and your spirit
(16:19):
they all need time to reset.
So you definitely want to sayno to obligations that drain you
.
If it's not a full body yes,then it's a no.
It's just that simple.
You don't have to do everythingfor everyone All right and then
recognize that rest isproductive.
Your body heals when you slowdown.
You don't have to wait untilburnout to take a break.
I would 100% do not recommendthat and I know this is a hard
(16:42):
one for me, especially as anonprofit founder that's growing
.
The podcast host, grad student,full-time employee, all these
different things that I do Iused to feel guilty when I
wasn't doing nothing.
If I wasn't doing something, Iused to feel so guilty and it
took me a long time to evenadmit that I can't do it all.
When I started the podcast, asI continued to evolve and grow
(17:02):
and as I got more busy and I wasevolving as a person as well, I
thought you know what?
You could do it all and youcould find balance.
And I really had to admit thatI can't do it all and that I am
not superwoman, nor do I want tobe.
There was a person when Iwanted to be superwoman and I
thought I was, I could do,hidden everywhere.
And then you know, havingpeople telling me oh, you're an
(17:22):
inspiration, I don't know howyou do all these things at once,
how do you do it?
And I'm like you know it getsdone.
But again, I had to admit thatnot superwoman, and I don't want
to be.
I had to learn that restingdoesn't mean I'm failing, it
means I'm protecting my abilityto keep going.
Step two release the superwomansyndrome.
(17:43):
Oh my goodness, my friend, I ambegging you.
You do not have to have it all.
Let me repeat you do not haveto have them all.
You do not have to have it allor do it all.
Okay, somewhere along the way, Ithink we were taught that being
a strong woman means doingeverything on your own, never
asking for help and carrying theweight of the world without
(18:04):
breaking.
But, my friend, real strengthis knowing when to ask for
support, when to delegate andwhen to say this is too much for
me right now.
That's where the real strengthhappens.
Ask for help, whether it's atwork, at school, in your
household or within your supportcircle.
You're not weak for needingrest, my friend, and I think
sometimes society made us feelthat way at some point in time,
(18:27):
but you're not weak for needingrest.
You don't have to prove yourworth by struggling Like we're
not doing that, especially in2025.
You know, set realisticexpectations for yourself.
Stop overloading your schedule.
That was a big one too.
Recognize that saying no toothers is saying yes to yourself
.
I used to believe that if Iwasn't doing everything, I
(18:48):
wasn't doing enough, that if Iwasn't exhausted, I wasn't
working hard enough.
Well, let me tell you, burnout.
It is not a badge of honor.
I had to learn that beingstrong isn't about pushing
through.
It's about knowing when to stepback and take care of yourself.
And if you listen to thepodcast in the past, you know
I've always talked about oh no,we're going to push through.
(19:09):
We're going to push and getcertain things done, but as I'm
getting older, as I'm relearningwho I am as a person, I can no
longer subscribe to the pushingthrough aspect of my life.
It's about knowing when to takea step back.
I want to take it myself.
Step three one of my favoritethings, that is, emotional
check-ins.
If you're feeling disconnectedfrom yourself, it's time to
(19:31):
check in, because emotionalexhaustion doesn't happen just
overnight.
It actually builds up over timewhen we ignore our needs.
So ask yourself daily what do Ineed right now?
Pause, breathe, listen to yourbody.
Do you need to rest?
Do you need movement, quiettime, connection, like what do
you need?
So ask yourself daily what do Ineed right now?
(19:52):
And then you're going to pause,you're going to breathe and
you're going to listen to yourbody to see what it needs.
You want to journal or voicenote your feelings One of the
things that I love about the newiPhone update that I have.
I'm pretty sure it happensacross all phones.
Now in the notes or memo app,you can actually leave voice
memos in that notes app.
Let me tell you, I'm a physicaljournal person.
(20:14):
I'll journal in the morning, atnight, sometimes it could be in
the middle of the day,depending on where I am.
I will journal, but these daysI find myself recording voice
memos in the notes app so I cango back and listen to and
actually translate it to myphysical journal, but also
process, because sometimes, whenI'm having a moment, I'm not
always in the position to runand pick up the journal.
(20:35):
It depends on what happens.
So that way, me voicing it inthe notes app, now I can go back
and process and see how thingsare, because unprocessed
emotions create stress in thebody.
Even a five minute brain dumpcan help to release that mental
clutter.
So I say you may not have theability to write in your journal
at the moment and even ifyou're someone who you're not
used to journaling or you'venever done that, you know, you
(20:57):
can just start by recordingyourself talking about your
feelings in that voice memo oryour note apps as well, so you
can go back to and listen to tosee either way you've grown or
how the process, how you felt atthis point in time as well,
because there have been dayswhere I felt completely off but
didn't know why.
But instead of ignoring it, Istarted asking myself what do I
(21:18):
need today?
Some days the answer is sleep,but I'm gonna be honest, I'm not
really a big person who takes anap.
I may just end up going to bedearly.
Some days it's movement andsome days it's just the
permission to do nothing withoutfeeling guilty.
And the more I check in withmyself, the more I realize that
I don't have to push throughevery bad day.
(21:40):
I can choose to pause and takecare of myself.
I don't care if that's me atwork If I don't have the energy
and the day's not going how Iwant it to go, I'm taking a step
back because I'm not going torun myself into the ground and
then jeopardize my health,essentially so I can choose to
pause and take care of myself,and I recommend you doing the
(22:00):
same thing as well.
Then there's step four.
That is to reduce informationoverload.
That has been my thing since,honestly, november 20th.
I promise you, I have beenworking on just reducing
information overload.
That has been my thing since,honestly, november 20th.
I promise you, I have beenworking on just reducing
information overload.
Like at the US elections, afterthe results came out, I had to
like I'm like you know what, Ineed a social media break,
(22:20):
because I just know it's goingto go haywire after that and I
didn't have the mental capacityto even take that.
So I'm like you know what, letme go, let me get on social
media for a month, see how thatgoes, and then I can always come
back and do X, y, z.
And I mean I took a breakbecause I've always had a
love-hate relationship withsocial media.
I took a break and now I'vebeen able to minimize how often
I even go on social mediaBecause, let's be honest, our
(22:41):
brains are just overstimulatedbetween social media, the news,
the emails, the texts and theconstant flood of information.
We are consuming way more thanwe can process, if you're being
honest, and that mental clutteris exhausting.
So I encourage you to justlimit social media and news
consumption.
Over-exposure to negativityadds to emotional exhaustion.
(23:04):
Protect your peace by settingboundaries with your screen time
.
For me, I have a limit of threehours a day across all social
media platforms.
I'm contemplating, you know,taking it down a notch to maybe
an hour or two, but definitelyjust set boundaries with your
screen time.
Take breaks from digitalstimulation Like doom.
Scrolling does not count asrest.
(23:25):
I know we like this idea ofgetting into bed, rubbing our
feet together and then open thatTikTok app and then we just
start scrolling on Instagram.
Whatever, we just startscrolling on Zoom.
Scrolling does not count asrest.
Step away from your phone andjust allow your mind to reset.
For me, I think at one point intime it was easier said than
(23:45):
done, because I used to wake upand immediately scroll through
my phone.
I'm talking, getting the phone,not even doing my devotions,
not even nothing.
I'm scrolling through my phoneand by the time I got out of bed
, I had already absorbed so muchnegativity, comparison and
stress and I'm like you knowwhat.
I can't keep doing this.
So I started setting smallboundaries, especially in my
(24:05):
morning routine, like notchecking my phone, you know,
first thing in the morning.
And let me tell you, my anxietylevels dropped significantly
and I think sometimes the bestway to protect your energy is to
just simply log off Whateverinformation that you think is
going to be there.
If you check it out the firstthing in the morning, it's going
to be there by the afternoon.
So just protect your energywhen it comes to overstimulation
(24:28):
and reducing informationoverload, because we're living
in an era right now, especiallyhere in the United States.
Like you wake up to one news inthe morning, by the time it's
the middle of the day it'ssomething else.
And then you get to night,before you go to bed, it's
something else.
It's just too much.
So definitely just protect yourenergy and just log off
sometimes.
And then the last step is toprioritize joy and play.
My friend, when was the lasttime you did something just for
(24:52):
fun, something that had nopurpose other than to make you
happy.
My therapist once said to mejoy is a form of resistance.
Play is a form of healing.
When we've been in survivalmode for so long, we forget that
life isn't just about gettingthrough the day.
It's actually about findingmoments of happiness, ease and
pleasure.
(25:12):
Start romanticizing your lifeLike turn small moments into
something special.
Buy yourself flowers.
Light a candle.
Take a slow morning.
One thing I'm going to do islight me a candle and every time
I got to set a reminder to turnit off to.
You know, make sure I don'tfall asleep with the candles
being lit.
But one thing I'm going to dois light my candle.
It's going to be in thebathroom, the living room.
This is going to be a candlelit in every room, sometimes in
(25:34):
my house, and each room has adifferent smell, you know.
Buy yourself flowers.
I went to Trader Joe's and gotme some flowers the other day.
I was like, oh you know, itmade the apartment a little bit
more brighter.
And just take a slow morningFor me.
I'm going to be up by 4, 30 orso and I use that first 30
minutes to do my devotion andjust to be still and know, and
then that way I don't have torush into the day.
(25:54):
I can take that morning slow,eat my breakfast, and that just
set the tone for how the day isgoing to be.
Also incorporate joyful movement.
Dance in the kitchen, in theshower, because one thing, one
thing I'm going to do I'm goingto sing in the shower and I'm
going to dance.
Because you can't tell me I'mnot Beyonce or Ciara Ciara, you
can't tell me I'm not MariahCarey, whitney Houston, patti
Libby.
I'm going to sing and I'm goingto dance.
(26:15):
I don't care how bad I sound,because in my mind I'm sounding
like these people singing and Ilook at these people dancing and
absolutely that's not the case.
But it does bring me some sortof joy to just move my body, to
just dance.
You know, of course, doing alittle dance, or you know trying
(26:35):
to keep up with the dance, orgirlies and in today's world,
trying to see if I can pluck theback and do whatever you know.
So definitely just incorporatejoyful movement.
I take a walk without thinkingokay, now I'm gonna walk from
here today.
Let's walk, just walk, justwalk and, of course, be safe
while you're out there, butstill just take a walk without
no time limit or destination insight move.
Move your body in a way thatfeels good, not just for fitness
but for pleasure, because Ithink sometimes we get so caught
(26:56):
up in, oh, I want to move mybody, but it's more so from a
fitness standpoint and notnecessarily for pleasure.
And I've been working onreframing my mindset when I
approach the gym as well.
Yes, it's about fitness, it'sabout me building stamina.
It's about me.
It's about me building stamina,it's about me losing weight.
But I'm trying to reframe thatmindset where I can go work out
with my trainer and, instead ofcomplaining to him about, oh, I
don't want to do this set, or Iwant to do 10 instead of 12 or
(27:18):
whatever, I'm just doing it forpleasure at this point, because
I think in my mind I'll be ableto do that.
It'll let me shed the weightfaster or just let me feel even
better about myself.
And for me, it's just aboutletting go of the idea that
everything I do has to have aproductive outcome.
I used to think that if Iwasn't doing something or
working toward a goal, I wasn'tbeing valuable.
(27:40):
Let me tell you, those are someof the most stressful parts of
my life.
But joy isn't just aboutchecking boxes.
It's honestly about justreconnecting with the part of
yourself that just wants to be,just be.
It costs nothing to just be.
You know, just be my friend,just be, just be, just be.
And I want you to just pause andask yourself what's one way I
(28:03):
can give myself permission totruly rest this week.
Not earn rest, not deserve rest, but just allow myself to rest
simply because I need it.
At this point in time, as I'mrecording this episode, you know
it's very emotionally taxinglast few days for myself and for
(28:26):
the citizens of my country backhome, antigua, as we're dealing
with the very unfortunate,tragic situation of a
nine-year-old in Antigua andI'll probably talk about this on
another podcast episode,because I personally cannot even
get into that on this episode,because we're talking about
trying to reclaim our ownemotional exhaustion and just
not being that way.
But it's a lot.
(28:47):
And so let's pause and askyourself what's one way I can
give myself permission to trulyrest this week.
I don't want to have to earn myrest, I don't want to think I
deserve my rest.
I want to be able to allowmyself to rest simply because I
need it.
And as we come to the end ofthis episode.
This week's post-it note is I amallowed to rest.
(29:07):
My body and my mind deservecare, not punishment.
I choose ease, nourishment andrestoration over burnout.
And I'll say it again thisweek's post-it note is I am
allowed to rest.
My body and mind deserve care,not punishment.
I choose ease, nourishment andrestoration over burnout.
(29:33):
Now here's what I want for youto do for me DM me on Instagram
and tell me what's one wayyou're choosing to rest this
week.
I just want to know what's oneway For me.
I got a few good answers.
By the time this episode comesout, I'll be able to tell you
more, probably over an Instagramstory, what's a way that I can
(29:56):
choose rest this week, giventhat I'm back into school after
spring break.
But if this episode spoke toyou, please share it in your
stories and tag me, because morewomen need to hear this and
remember we are going to berecognizing and recovering from
emotional exhaustion.
I love you for listening.
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of Tea with
(30:17):
Tanya.
If you like this episode, besure to share it with a friend.
Don't forget to follow onInstagram at Tea with Tanya
Podcast.
Be sure to subscribe to theweekly Tea Talk newsletter and,
of course, rate on Apple orSpotify and subscribe wherever
you listen.
See you next time.
I love you for listening.
Welcome to Tea with Tanya.
I'm your host, tanya Ambrose,an average millennial navigating
life as a maternal healthprofessional, non-profit founder
and grad student.
Join me in the tea tasting roomwhere we spill the tea on
finding balance and promotingpositive living while doing it
all.
(00:20):
Hey friend, welcome back to Teawith Tanya, your space for real
, honest and transformativeconversations about health,
wellness and promoting positiveliving.
I hope you've done somethingfor yourself, because you know
we try to pour into ourselvesbefore we come back to the tea
(00:40):
tasting room.
For another week For me, I'vebeen on spring break from school
.
Honestly, that doesn't meananything for me because I work
full time, do so many otherthings.
So even that quote unquotebreak from school wasn't
necessarily.
It was a break from school.
I didn't have any assignmentsthat I had to think about, but
my spring break was on springbreak.
But nevertheless, I am gratefulfor not having to think about
(01:01):
school and by the time you hearthis episode, it is literally
going to be the next day afterreturning to school from spring
break.
So the time is winding down, myfriend.
The time is winding down.
Your girl is literally a fewweeks away from graduating and I
don't know how to feel still,like I said on the last episode,
I'm just, I don't know.
I don't know what to do.
(01:21):
It's still a bittersweet, but Iam looking forward to that day
where I can hopefully get somemore time in my life to do some
of the other things that Ialready do, but nevertheless, I
hope you did something foryourself for this week.
As you know, friend, it isWomen's History Month, and while
we celebrate the incrediblewomen who have paved the way for
(01:44):
us, we also need to have anhonest conversation about the
reality of that legacy.
Because, let's be real, so manyof the women who came before us
.
They were strong, resilient andgroundbreaking, but they were
also exhausted, overworked andcarrying burdens they shouldn't
have had to carry alone, if wekeep it in the book, but for
(02:06):
generations, women have beenexpected to do it all to push
through exhaustion, sacrifice,sleep, ignore stress and show up
for everyone but themselves.
We've watched our mothers,grandmothers and ancestors work
twice as hard, live and do itmore, more and never complain.
And if we're not careful, wecontinue that cycle that's
(02:28):
running on fumes, constantlyoverwhelmed and feeling like no
matter how much risks we get,we're still drained, and I've
been feeling this firsthand, ifI can be honest with you, my
friend, my body has been sendingme all the signals, like all
the signals you can think of,the weight gain, the bloating,
the sluggishness.
And for a while I kept thinkingokay, you know what, maybe I
(02:50):
need to change my diet or workout more.
Mind you, I'm not a person thatnecessarily eat unhealthy.
I barely even eat, if I'm beinghonest.
But when I do, I mean that'snot so wrong.
But when I do, it's alwayssomething somewhat healthy, it's
nothing unhealthy or anythingbad.
Last year I started working outwith a trainer.
The first half of the year Isaw changes in my body, I was
(03:10):
feeling good, and then I felloff the wagon the second half of
the year.
And then I am back to workingout with a trainer now again,
but this time just seemed alittle bit different.
So you know, through therapyand just really observing what's
happening within and out of mybody, you know, when I really
sat with it I realized, you know, my stress levels are through
(03:32):
the roof.
Ok, at this point they'rebeyond the roof, they're heading
to the sky at this point intime.
And you know, between wanting anonprofit that's growing, the
things that I've always wantedand I've envisioned when I first
started this nonprofit.
You know they're happening.
Slow and steady obviously winsthe race.
They're happening.
I think God is just telling me.
You know what, tanya?
I know you got this, you canhandle everything.
(03:53):
So I'm going to start answeringall the prayers all at once,
you know.
But I'm not complaining.
I am not complaining at all.
But between running a nonprofit,hosting this podcast, being a
full-time grad student andworking full-time and still
trying to be present for myloved ones, my body is in
survival mode.
And when you're constantly insurvival mode, your body holds
(04:13):
on to every single thing theweight, the stress, the
exhaustion, even emotions youhaven't processed.
And if I'm being honest, friend, I am still working or still
need to process some of theemotions from 2024, to be honest
with you, at least the latterhalf or the latter part of 2024.
So today we are breaking thatcycle, because burnout is not a
(04:35):
badge of honor.
Feeling drained all the time isnot normal, and if you've been
feeling this way, like you'rerunning an empty, you're
overwhelmed and disconnectedfrom yourself, well, my friend,
this episode is for you.
Okay, we're going to talk aboutwhat emotional exhaustion
really looks like, how torecognize when you're past the
point of just being tired and,most importantly, how to recover
(04:58):
and reclaim your energy.
So grab your tea, get cozy andlet's get into it.
Okay, now let's talk about whatemotional exhaustion really
looks like, because this isn'tjust the oh I didn't get enough
sleep last night Kind of tired.
It's much deeper.
This is deeper.
This is the kind of tired thatlingers that no amount of coffee
(05:20):
can fix it.
Now I know in here, you knowwe're all about the tea, we're
all about the tea tasting.
We are tea girlies.
But we know again, many, manypeople do drink coffee and they
do that to essentially give themthe energy so they can continue
to go and go and go.
But this is not the kind oftide that coffee is going to fix
in the next morning.
(05:40):
You know it doesn't go awayeven after a full night's sleep
or weekend of rest.
It's the kind of it doesn't goaway even after a full night's
sleep or a weekend of rest.
It's the kind of exhaustionthat doesn't just live in your
mind, it shows up in your body,your emotions and your ability
to function day to day.
So I want to talk about some ofthe signs that you are
emotionally exhausted, and someof these signs that I'm going to
be sharing with you is what Iwould have observed in myself
(06:03):
and what my way to talk about itwith you.
So some of that is small tasksfeel overwhelming, like things
that used to be simple.
Let's say, for answering anemail, making a decision or even
getting out of bed now feellike a massive effort.
Even something as small asresponding to a text message
(06:24):
feels like too much, and for me,I've always been the person
that if you sent me a text todayon email at 10 o'clock, by 10
or 1 or 10 or 2, you're gettinga response.
That's the kind of person thatI am Not anymore Like these
tasks.
They just feel overwhelming.
Like I'm the person now where Irespond to a message or a text.
Like I'm the person now where Irespond to a message or a text
(06:46):
a text or an email a day or twolater or many hours after
receiving said message.
So that is one of the signs thatyou are emotionally exhausted.
The other one is no matter howmuch you rest, you still feel
drained.
You could get eight hours ofsleep, you could take a day off
or even go on a vacation andstill wake up exhausted.
Then you start to realize thatsleep isn't fixing the issue,
(07:07):
because your exhaustion isn'tjust physical, it's emotional,
mental and even spiritual.
The other thing is you feeldisconnected from things that
used to bring you joy.
You're no longer excited aboutyour favorite hobbies music or
shows and even spending timewith loved ones feels draining
instead of fulfilling.
I know, for me, music is myescape, for whatever reason.
(07:28):
So when you hear artists saying, you know, music is my escape,
it's my therapy, it is true forme.
Because I could be cleaning,cooking, whatever I'm doing in
the car, because one thing I'mgoing to do is have a carpool
karaoke.
I'm going to listen to musicover and over and over.
Sometimes I could be sad asheck, but I'm going to listen to
the saddest songs.
Don't ask me why.
I don't know what's the sciencebehind of that, but even that
became.
You know, I just feltdisconnected, in a sense, from
(07:50):
my music.
I wasn't listening to my musicthe way I used to.
If I was, it wasn't bringing methe joy that I used to.
I'm a TV show girlie.
I would watch every TV showunder the sun.
In recent times I have fallenso behind on my TV shows, I was
like what in the world is goingon?
This is not me.
There are TV shows that I'mstill yet to watch.
No.
So my best friend would havegone on without me watching
(08:10):
these different shows.
And then I have to give a shoutout to a very consistent
listener, lala, because we tendto exchange voice notes from
time to time, talking aboutthese different shows.
But I started feelingdisconnected.
I'm not there right now becauseI'm back into my catching up in
my TV show era.
But that's also a sign that youare emotionally exhausted.
And then there is theirritability and brain fog.
(08:31):
You find yourself snapping atpeople over the smallest things.
You struggle to concentrate,forget things easily and feel
like your brain is running onslow mode.
For me I will say my brain iswanting in fast motion, like my
brain moves a mile per half asecond, like that's how much my
brain has been going.
So you also get that.
You know you're just irritatedfor no reason.
(08:52):
Sometimes you're snapping atpeople who just even looked at
you too hard.
You know that's also anotherissue.
And then you think about thephysical symptoms weight gain,
the bloating, muscle tension,gut issues.
You know your body is holdingon to stress and it's
manifesting as extra weight,digestive problems or just
constant aches and pains.
Your digestion is going to beoff, your appetite fluctuates
(09:15):
and you feel like your body isjust stuck in that survival mode
For me.
I know this feeling all toowell because, again, between
just running this nonprofit andhosting this podcast, talking to
you every week, I felt theweight of emotional exhaustion
firsthand.
And recently I've noticedsomething else and that is a
(09:37):
weight gain.
To me, it's a drastic weightgain.
To other people oh, tanya, youlook good, your body good, you
had a good up, good up body.
The shape is.
You know, the shape is there,it's given.
Don't get me wrong.
But I remember growing up when Iwas like small, like a pencil
you know the number two pencilsthat we have, that's how small I
was and I remember alwayswanting to oh, I want to gain
(10:02):
five.
For essentially I wasn't eatingdrastically different, I wasn't
skipping workouts.
My body just felt really heavy.
It just felt heavier, it feltmore inflamed, more bloated,
more sluggish and for a while Ikept thinking maybe I just need
to eat better and get back intothe gym and start working out.
But when I really sat with itbecause these days I've been
(10:23):
sitting with a lot of things.
It wasn't about me not workingout four or five times a week,
or three, four times a week.
It was about the stress that Iwas carrying.
It was about the pressure I wasputting on myself, the way I
constantly.
I was always constantly in astate of overworking,
(10:45):
overthinking and overcommitting.
And let me tell you, my friend,stress is such a sneaky culprit
because it affects our hormones, our metabolism and our
appetite and before you know it,you've gained weight without
even realizing how or why.
Because, let me tell you, Ijust woke up one morning and I
was like, girl, you're thickerthan a sneaker, like you're
giving a sneaker and a Twix mixtogether at this point in time.
(11:06):
But it's not just about theweight as well.
It was about the inflammation,the bloating, the tension in my
shoulders, the gut issues, themigraines.
You guys know I constantly talkabout the chronic migraines
that I have, you know, becausethat is that was a sign that you
know what your body isscreaming for relief.
You're too busy to listen.
That's when I had to take astep back and ask myself am I
(11:28):
just tired or is my bodyshutting down?
Because I'm emotionallyexhausted and I had to ask my
question, that question tomyself over and over and over.
And here's what I've learnedwhen we're emotionally exhausted
, our body's going to what wecall a fight or flight mode, and
when that happens, our cortisollevels spike.
And what does your cortisollevel do?
It makes our bodies store fat,retain water, crave sugar and
(11:52):
hold on to weight, not becausewe're eating bad, but because
our bodies think we're in dangerand need to conserve energy.
You could be eating healthy,moving your body, doing
everything right, but if you'reoperating in a constant state of
stress, your body is going toprioritize survival over weight
loss, digestion or even rest.
(12:13):
So let me tell you some of thethings that I've had to learn
when it comes to having a highcortisol level.
So high cortisol equals stressweight, that's, stored fat,
especially around the belly.
I have spoken about this manytimes.
I'm thinking about my belly'sgiving.
That I'm, you know.
Is this giving too big?
What's going on?
This is not me weight shaminganyone, or me even no, it's just
(12:33):
what I've noticed.
But also, this is what happenswhen you have high cortisol
levels.
So that's stress weight, storedfat, especially around the
belly.
It's going to be increasedcravings, especially for sugar
and carbs, and then it's goingto be disrupted digestion and
gut health and hormonalimbalances that make weight loss
harder.
I've been in the gym almostthree months now well, two and a
(12:59):
half months, essentially and Ihaven't necessarily seen much of
a change yet, whereas last year, when I started the gym back in
January, I was already seeing adrastic improvement or change
in my body and how it looked, byMarch as well, and that's when
I had to start looking intomyself because, again, this is
not what I want.
The body may look good, thebody good up, good up.
The shape is there, it's givingCoca-Cola, but it's not.
My knees are hurting.
It's just not where I want tobe.
From a health standpoint,especially for someone who has
(13:20):
high cholesterol, you definitelywant to ensure that you're
getting your cortisol level 12.
That's manageable as well, sothat's something you also want
to talk to your doctor about aswell.
So if you've been gainingweight and you don't know, you
(13:49):
don't know, you don't understandwhy, or if your body feels
inflamed, bloated or just off,don't just look at your diet, my
friend.
Look at your stress levels,your emotions, your nervous
system, because this isn't justabout food is overwhelming.
No matter how much you rest,you still feel drained, you feel
disconnected from things thatused to bring you joy
irritability and brain fog, andthen the physical symptoms, such
as you know, weight gain,bloating, muscle tension and gut
issues as well.
So you definitely want toensure that you are taking good
care of yourself.
(14:09):
You're looking in to see whatis causing my weight gain, what
is causing me to feel off Again,that high cortisol level that's
going to equal to the stressweight, how you show up in your
body storing excess fat,especially on your abdomen, your
belly area, these differentthings.
So you definitely want to lookinto that because, again, it's
not about food.
It's about how safe, rested andnourished your body feels.
(14:31):
So now that we know whatemotional exhaustion looks like,
let's talk about how weactually recover, because this
isn't just about taking a nap.
It's about reprogramming theway we take care of ourselves.
Okay, friend, we've beenconditioned for a very long time
to believe that rest issomething that we earned after
(14:52):
working ourselves to the pointof exhaustion.
If you can relate, just take asip of your tea or just wave
your hand.
But rare recovery.
It starts with unlearning thosebeliefs and giving ourselves
permission to rest, setboundaries and choose joy
without guilt.
That was a big one for me aswell choosing joy without
feeling guilty.
This is also about breaking thecycle of burnout and creating a
(15:15):
life that feels nourishing, notjust productive.
So let's get into it.
Here are the five key steps toactually recovering from
emotional exhaustion, and whatI'm sharing with you is what I
have gone through, what I'mcurrently going through, as well
as the steps I'm taking toreally and truly recover from
that.
And step one is rest withoutguilt.
(15:37):
My friend, if you take one thingfrom this episode, let it be
this Rest is not a reward, it'sa requirement.
Rest is not a reward, it is arequirement.
We live in a world thatglorifies overworking, but let
me just say this loud and clearListen to this you do not have
(15:57):
to be exhausted to be worthy andI've had to learn this lesson
the hard way when I experiencedmy burnout for the first time
back in 2022.
You don't have to earn yourrest.
Your body, your mind and yourspirit they all need time to
reset.
Sometimes we see on socialmedia when we talk about, you
know, sunday reset, no, yourbody, your mind and your spirit
(16:19):
they all need time to reset.
So you definitely want to sayno to obligations that drain you
.
If it's not a full body yes,then it's a no.
It's just that simple.
You don't have to do everythingfor everyone All right and then
recognize that rest isproductive.
Your body heals when you slowdown.
You don't have to wait untilburnout to take a break.
I would 100% do not recommendthat and I know this is a hard
(16:42):
one for me, especially as anonprofit founder that's growing
.
The podcast host, grad student,full-time employee, all these
different things that I do Iused to feel guilty when I
wasn't doing nothing.
If I wasn't doing something, Iused to feel so guilty and it
took me a long time to evenadmit that I can't do it all.
When I started the podcast, asI continued to evolve and grow
(17:02):
and as I got more busy and I wasevolving as a person as well, I
thought you know what?
You could do it all and youcould find balance.
And I really had to admit thatI can't do it all and that I am
not superwoman, nor do I want tobe.
There was a person when Iwanted to be superwoman and I
thought I was, I could do,hidden everywhere.
And then you know, havingpeople telling me oh, you're an
(17:22):
inspiration, I don't know howyou do all these things at once,
how do you do it?
And I'm like you know it getsdone.
But again, I had to admit thatnot superwoman, and I don't want
to be.
I had to learn that restingdoesn't mean I'm failing, it
means I'm protecting my abilityto keep going.
Step two release the superwomansyndrome.
(17:43):
Oh my goodness, my friend, I ambegging you.
You do not have to have it all.
Let me repeat you do not haveto have them all.
You do not have to have it allor do it all.
Okay, somewhere along the way, Ithink we were taught that being
a strong woman means doingeverything on your own, never
asking for help and carrying theweight of the world without
(18:04):
breaking.
But, my friend, real strengthis knowing when to ask for
support, when to delegate andwhen to say this is too much for
me right now.
That's where the real strengthhappens.
Ask for help, whether it's atwork, at school, in your
household or within your supportcircle.
You're not weak for needingrest, my friend, and I think
sometimes society made us feelthat way at some point in time,
(18:27):
but you're not weak for needingrest.
You don't have to prove yourworth by struggling Like we're
not doing that, especially in2025.
You know, set realisticexpectations for yourself.
Stop overloading your schedule.
That was a big one too.
Recognize that saying no toothers is saying yes to yourself
.
I used to believe that if Iwasn't doing everything, I
(18:48):
wasn't doing enough, that if Iwasn't exhausted, I wasn't
working hard enough.
Well, let me tell you, burnout.
It is not a badge of honor.
I had to learn that beingstrong isn't about pushing
through.
It's about knowing when to stepback and take care of yourself.
And if you listen to thepodcast in the past, you know
I've always talked about oh no,we're going to push through.
(19:09):
We're going to push and getcertain things done, but as I'm
getting older, as I'm relearningwho I am as a person, I can no
longer subscribe to the pushingthrough aspect of my life.
It's about knowing when to takea step back.
I want to take it myself.
Step three one of my favoritethings, that is, emotional
check-ins.
If you're feeling disconnectedfrom yourself, it's time to
(19:31):
check in, because emotionalexhaustion doesn't happen just
overnight.
It actually builds up over timewhen we ignore our needs.
So ask yourself daily what do Ineed right now?
Pause, breathe, listen to yourbody.
Do you need to rest?
Do you need movement, quiettime, connection, like what do
you need?
So ask yourself daily what do Ineed right now?
(19:52):
And then you're going to pause,you're going to breathe and
you're going to listen to yourbody to see what it needs.
You want to journal or voicenote your feelings One of the
things that I love about the newiPhone update that I have.
I'm pretty sure it happensacross all phones.
Now in the notes or memo app,you can actually leave voice
memos in that notes app.
Let me tell you, I'm a physicaljournal person.
(20:14):
I'll journal in the morning, atnight, sometimes it could be in
the middle of the day,depending on where I am.
I will journal, but these daysI find myself recording voice
memos in the notes app so I cango back and listen to and
actually translate it to myphysical journal, but also
process, because sometimes, whenI'm having a moment, I'm not
always in the position to runand pick up the journal.
(20:35):
It depends on what happens.
So that way, me voicing it inthe notes app, now I can go back
and process and see how thingsare, because unprocessed
emotions create stress in thebody.
Even a five minute brain dumpcan help to release that mental
clutter.
So I say you may not have theability to write in your journal
at the moment and even ifyou're someone who you're not
used to journaling or you'venever done that, you know, you
(20:57):
can just start by recordingyourself talking about your
feelings in that voice memo oryour note apps as well, so you
can go back to and listen to tosee either way you've grown or
how the process, how you felt atthis point in time as well,
because there have been dayswhere I felt completely off but
didn't know why.
But instead of ignoring it, Istarted asking myself what do I
(21:18):
need today?
Some days the answer is sleep,but I'm gonna be honest, I'm not
really a big person who takes anap.
I may just end up going to bedearly.
Some days it's movement andsome days it's just the
permission to do nothing withoutfeeling guilty.
And the more I check in withmyself, the more I realize that
I don't have to push throughevery bad day.
(21:40):
I can choose to pause and takecare of myself.
I don't care if that's me atwork If I don't have the energy
and the day's not going how Iwant it to go, I'm taking a step
back because I'm not going torun myself into the ground and
then jeopardize my health,essentially so I can choose to
pause and take care of myself,and I recommend you doing the
(22:00):
same thing as well.
Then there's step four.
That is to reduce informationoverload.
That has been my thing since,honestly, november 20th.
I promise you, I have beenworking on just reducing
information overload.
That has been my thing since,honestly, november 20th.
I promise you, I have beenworking on just reducing
information overload.
Like at the US elections, afterthe results came out, I had to
like I'm like you know what, Ineed a social media break,
(22:20):
because I just know it's goingto go haywire after that and I
didn't have the mental capacityto even take that.
So I'm like you know what, letme go, let me get on social
media for a month, see how thatgoes, and then I can always come
back and do X, y, z.
And I mean I took a breakbecause I've always had a
love-hate relationship withsocial media.
I took a break and now I'vebeen able to minimize how often
I even go on social mediaBecause, let's be honest, our
(22:41):
brains are just overstimulatedbetween social media, the news,
the emails, the texts and theconstant flood of information.
We are consuming way more thanwe can process, if you're being
honest, and that mental clutteris exhausting.
So I encourage you to justlimit social media and news
consumption.
Over-exposure to negativityadds to emotional exhaustion.
(23:04):
Protect your peace by settingboundaries with your screen time
.
For me, I have a limit of threehours a day across all social
media platforms.
I'm contemplating, you know,taking it down a notch to maybe
an hour or two, but definitelyjust set boundaries with your
screen time.
Take breaks from digitalstimulation Like doom.
Scrolling does not count asrest.
(23:25):
I know we like this idea ofgetting into bed, rubbing our
feet together and then open thatTikTok app and then we just
start scrolling on Instagram.
Whatever, we just startscrolling on Zoom.
Scrolling does not count asrest.
Step away from your phone andjust allow your mind to reset.
For me, I think at one point intime it was easier said than
(23:45):
done, because I used to wake upand immediately scroll through
my phone.
I'm talking, getting the phone,not even doing my devotions,
not even nothing.
I'm scrolling through my phoneand by the time I got out of bed
, I had already absorbed so muchnegativity, comparison and
stress and I'm like you knowwhat.
I can't keep doing this.
So I started setting smallboundaries, especially in my
(24:05):
morning routine, like notchecking my phone, you know,
first thing in the morning.
And let me tell you, my anxietylevels dropped significantly
and I think sometimes the bestway to protect your energy is to
just simply log off Whateverinformation that you think is
going to be there.
If you check it out the firstthing in the morning, it's going
to be there by the afternoon.
So just protect your energywhen it comes to overstimulation
(24:28):
and reducing informationoverload, because we're living
in an era right now, especiallyhere in the United States.
Like you wake up to one news inthe morning, by the time it's
the middle of the day it'ssomething else.
And then you get to night,before you go to bed, it's
something else.
It's just too much.
So definitely just protect yourenergy and just log off
sometimes.
And then the last step is toprioritize joy and play.
My friend, when was the lasttime you did something just for
(24:52):
fun, something that had nopurpose other than to make you
happy.
My therapist once said to mejoy is a form of resistance.
Play is a form of healing.
When we've been in survivalmode for so long, we forget that
life isn't just about gettingthrough the day.
It's actually about findingmoments of happiness, ease and
pleasure.
(25:12):
Start romanticizing your lifeLike turn small moments into
something special.
Buy yourself flowers.
Light a candle.
Take a slow morning.
One thing I'm going to do islight me a candle and every time
I got to set a reminder to turnit off to.
You know, make sure I don'tfall asleep with the candles
being lit.
But one thing I'm going to dois light my candle.
It's going to be in thebathroom, the living room.
This is going to be a candlelit in every room, sometimes in
(25:34):
my house, and each room has adifferent smell, you know.
Buy yourself flowers.
I went to Trader Joe's and gotme some flowers the other day.
I was like, oh you know, itmade the apartment a little bit
more brighter.
And just take a slow morningFor me.
I'm going to be up by 4, 30 orso and I use that first 30
minutes to do my devotion andjust to be still and know, and
then that way I don't have torush into the day.
(25:54):
I can take that morning slow,eat my breakfast, and that just
set the tone for how the day isgoing to be.
Also incorporate joyful movement.
Dance in the kitchen, in theshower, because one thing, one
thing I'm going to do I'm goingto sing in the shower and I'm
going to dance.
Because you can't tell me I'mnot Beyonce or Ciara Ciara, you
can't tell me I'm not MariahCarey, whitney Houston, patti
Libby.
I'm going to sing and I'm goingto dance.
(26:15):
I don't care how bad I sound,because in my mind I'm sounding
like these people singing and Ilook at these people dancing and
absolutely that's not the case.
But it does bring me some sortof joy to just move my body, to
just dance.
You know, of course, doing alittle dance, or you know trying
(26:35):
to keep up with the dance, orgirlies and in today's world,
trying to see if I can pluck theback and do whatever you know.
So definitely just incorporatejoyful movement.
I take a walk without thinkingokay, now I'm gonna walk from
here today.
Let's walk, just walk, justwalk and, of course, be safe
while you're out there, butstill just take a walk without
no time limit or destination insight move.
Move your body in a way thatfeels good, not just for fitness
but for pleasure, because Ithink sometimes we get so caught
(26:56):
up in, oh, I want to move mybody, but it's more so from a
fitness standpoint and notnecessarily for pleasure.
And I've been working onreframing my mindset when I
approach the gym as well.
Yes, it's about fitness, it'sabout me building stamina.
It's about me.
It's about me building stamina,it's about me losing weight.
But I'm trying to reframe thatmindset where I can go work out
with my trainer and, instead ofcomplaining to him about, oh, I
don't want to do this set, or Iwant to do 10 instead of 12 or
(27:18):
whatever, I'm just doing it forpleasure at this point, because
I think in my mind I'll be ableto do that.
It'll let me shed the weightfaster or just let me feel even
better about myself.
And for me, it's just aboutletting go of the idea that
everything I do has to have aproductive outcome.
I used to think that if Iwasn't doing something or
working toward a goal, I wasn'tbeing valuable.
(27:40):
Let me tell you, those are someof the most stressful parts of
my life.
But joy isn't just aboutchecking boxes.
It's honestly about justreconnecting with the part of
yourself that just wants to be,just be.
It costs nothing to just be.
You know, just be my friend,just be, just be, just be.
And I want you to just pause andask yourself what's one way I
(28:03):
can give myself permission totruly rest this week.
Not earn rest, not deserve rest, but just allow myself to rest
simply because I need it.
At this point in time, as I'mrecording this episode, you know
it's very emotionally taxinglast few days for myself and for
(28:26):
the citizens of my country backhome, antigua, as we're dealing
with the very unfortunate,tragic situation of a
nine-year-old in Antigua andI'll probably talk about this on
another podcast episode,because I personally cannot even
get into that on this episode,because we're talking about
trying to reclaim our ownemotional exhaustion and just
not being that way.
But it's a lot.
(28:47):
And so let's pause and askyourself what's one way I can
give myself permission to trulyrest this week.
I don't want to have to earn myrest, I don't want to think I
deserve my rest.
I want to be able to allowmyself to rest simply because I
need it.
And as we come to the end ofthis episode.
This week's post-it note is I amallowed to rest.
(29:07):
My body and my mind deservecare, not punishment.
I choose ease, nourishment andrestoration over burnout.
And I'll say it again thisweek's post-it note is I am
allowed to rest.
My body and mind deserve care,not punishment.
I choose ease, nourishment andrestoration over burnout.
(29:33):
Now here's what I want for youto do for me DM me on Instagram
and tell me what's one wayyou're choosing to rest this
week.
I just want to know what's oneway For me.
I got a few good answers.
By the time this episode comesout, I'll be able to tell you
more, probably over an Instagramstory, what's a way that I can
(29:56):
choose rest this week, giventhat I'm back into school after
spring break.
But if this episode spoke toyou, please share it in your
stories and tag me, because morewomen need to hear this and
remember we are going to berecognizing and recovering from
emotional exhaustion.
I love you for listening.
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of Tea with
(30:17):
Tanya.
If you like this episode, besure to share it with a friend.
Don't forget to follow onInstagram at Tea with Tanya
Podcast.
Be sure to subscribe to theweekly Tea Talk newsletter and,
of course, rate on Apple orSpotify and subscribe wherever
you listen.
See you next time.
I love you for listening.
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