March 25, 2025 • 21 mins
Ever had one of those days where you're running on autopilot, meeting everyone else's needs until you realize you haven't checked in with yourself at all? That's exactly where I found myself recently—emotionally depleted after a day of back-to-back meetings and heavy conversations.
This episode dives into mental health basics that are genuinely practical for our real, messy lives. Not the Instagram-perfect morning routines or complicated wellness rituals, but simple practices that work when you're exhausted but still trying to show up for yourself. Because mental wellness isn't something we address only in crisis—it's built moment by moment, choice by choice.
I'm sharing the five core practices that have transformed my emotional wellbeing: the two-minute heart check-in that shifts your entire day, creating small pockets of emotional safety in your routine, giving yourself permission to feel all your feelings (yes, even the uncomfortable ones), protecting your energy like the precious resource it is, and making space for joy even when life feels heavy. Plus, my personal mental health staples that aren't glamorous but work consistently.
What I love most about these practices is how accessible they are. You don't need special equipment, hours of free time, or a perfectly quiet house. These are practices for real humans with real limitations who still deserve emotional wellness. Whether you're navigating work stress, personal challenges, or just the everyday weight of existing in today's world, these gentle approaches can help ground you back to yourself.
Your mental health is worth prioritizing not just when everything falls apart, but every single day. What small step will you take today? Share your thoughts or questions with me on Instagram @TeaWithTanyaPodcast—I'd love to continue this conversation with you!
Thank you so much for tuning in to Tea with Tanya! If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate and leave a review — it helps the show grow and reach more listeners. Join the conversation on Instagram using #teawithtanya #Teawithtanyapodcast, and don’t forget to tag us!
Visit my website at tanyakambrose.com for more resources. Be sure to follow us on Instagram @teawithtanyapodcast and @tanyakambrose, and sign up for my Tea Talk newsletter to stay updated with all things wellness and self-care!
Ready to dive deeper into whole woman wellness? Download your FREE guide today and start your health journey!
Support the podcast by buying a cup of tea.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Tea with Tanya.
I'm your host, tanya Ambrose,an average millennial navigating
life as a maternal healthprofessional, non-profit founder
and grad student.
Join me in the tea tasting roomwhere we spill the tea on
finding balance and promotingpositive living while doing it
all.
(00:20):
Hey friend, welcome back to Teawith Tanya, your space for real
, honest and transformativeconversations about health,
wellness and promoting positiveliving.
Now, my friend, I want toapologize to you in advance if
my voice sounds different or youmay hear it crack in between as
(00:41):
I continue to record thisepisode.
So I am going to keep it shortand sweet for us today in the
tea tasting room.
But if you hear my voicesounding a little bit weird or
strange, it's not me.
It's my migraine meds, becauseyour girl has been going crazy
with a migraine all weekendbecause the pollen decided that
they wanted to just pollen morethan anything else, to the point
that it's giving me migraine.
So my migraine meds usuallymake me sound a little bit
(01:03):
different for the first coupleof days.
So you know, bear with yourgirl.
She's here, she's here, she istaking care of herself, but you
know her migraine.
I don't know what triggers mymigraine, but I know for sure,
the migraine that I have, evenright now recording this episode
, is as a result of the pollenoutside, so at this point I need
to just stay in set and not goanywhere.
It's given that it's givenstaying indoors until fall, or
(01:25):
at least summer.
But nevertheless, my friend, Ihope you've done something for
yourself within the last weekthat we met here Because, again,
as we continue on our wholewoman wellness journey, taking
care of ourself is important.
Even if that's two to threeminutes of doing nothing, or two
to three minutes of justpouring into yourself, it is
still a lot to do and it's stillsomething it's still going to
(01:46):
count.
So make sure that you're takingthe time to do something for
yourself, all right.
So today we are diving intosomething super close to my
heart, and that's mental healthbasics, specifically simple
practices that we canincorporate into our everyday
lives to support emotionalwellness.
And when I say simple, myfriend, I mean real life.
I'm exhausted, but still tryingto show up for myself.
Simple Because, if you'reanything like me, there have
(02:12):
been days where just brushingyour teeth and sending that one
text felt like a win.
Guess what, my friend?
It is a win.
It is a win and I want us tounderstand that as well.
But today I am here sipping onsome peppermint tea, you know,
just holding the vibe here inthe tea tasting room with you,
and I hope you have gotsomething warm and comforting
too as well.
So here's why I wanted to talkabout this.
Recently I had one of those dayswhere there was just back to
(02:35):
back meetings, you know,emotionally heavy conversations,
trying to meet everyone's needs, and then I realized that I
hadn't even checked in withmyself all day.
I was just on autopilot fromthe time I got to work.
By the time I got home, youknow, I just felt depleted, not
sad, I will say, not even angry,just emotionally flat, like.
I was like flatline emotionallybecause it was a day that just
(02:56):
kept.
It started crazy from theminute I went to work.
Meetings after meetings, youknow, hearing all these heavy
things that are happening to thepeople that we serve, and it's
just, you know, trying to meeteverybody's needs, whether it's
at work, nonprofit, whatever itis, that's everybody's needs.
And I was just emotionally atmy wit's end and I think in that
moment I had to remind myself,you know, mental health isn't
(03:17):
just something that I advocatefor in my work or to my
nonprofit, or even here in thepodcast.
It's something that I have toprioritize for me, too Now.
We don't have to wait untilwe're in crisis to support our
mental health.
Emotional wellness is somethingthat we build moment by moment,
choice by choice, and I oftentell people when they're asking
me, tanya, how are you doingtoday?
(03:39):
And I say no, I'm doing okay,I'm just taking it one moment at
a time.
You know, going up in churchand you have the gospel song.
You know, one day at a time Forme.
Ever since I've been in therapyand just as I've been growing
emotionally, I often do my verybest to take things one moment
at a time.
That's all I got.
I can't even say one day.
I have to say one moment at atime.
(04:00):
You know, choice by choice.
Now I want to share some simplepractices for everyday
emotional wellness, and ifyou've been listening to the
previous episodes, I think thismonth has just been a theme
about emotional wellness,self-care, taking care of you,
because you know we often startthe year off wanting oh, I'm
going to lose 10 pounds by thismonth, or I'm going to do X, y,
z in the first quarter and, tobe honest, friend, it doesn't
(04:20):
always go as planned for me.
I am still one processingthings from the latter half of
2024.
Before I started to record thisepisode, I was cleaning my
bedroom.
I was tidying my bedroom and mycloset, because I've been doing
this since before the yearstarted and when the year starts
, I was, like you know, by theend of January I am going to be
done with rearranging my closet,you know, throwing away clothes
(04:41):
that can't, all these differentplans that I had and I promise
you don't even judge me here,friend, because we don't judge
people here, it's ajudgment-free zone I have had
clothes upon clothes on mybedroom floor, like that's a hot
mess, honestly a hot mess inthe room, and I'm like you know,
how can I even sleep in hereand function?
You know, granted, I knew, butat the end of the day, at the
time my mental health could notleave me there.
(05:02):
I was doing, I would cleaneverywhere I was in the house,
the bedroom, I was leaving atsome point.
But today I did that because,you know, I was like you know
what, let me get up.
This has been happening, youknow.
Let me make the choice reallyand truly to get this room
looking good, because once youdo that, your mental health is
going to even, it's going toprosper even more.
And let me tell you I'mrecording this episode sitting
in my closet.
That's fully organized and, youknow, color coordinated.
(05:25):
I don't know how I got here,because this isn't even me, but
you know I hunkered down todayand here we are in the tea
tasting room as well.
So when I talk about you know,and sometimes you know, it's
like it's hard to get out of thebed, it's hard to do things, it
happens, it happens sometimesbecause we're just emotionally
exhausted.
So some of the simple ways thatyou can practice for everyday
(05:45):
emotional wellness the firstthing is to start with a daily
check in place, my hand on myheart and, of course, you know,
I pray or I'm asking, you know,thanking God for his mercies,
essentially for me to seeanother day, you know.
And then I'll ask myself what'sgoing on in my heart today?
(06:05):
How do I feel that could havebeen?
I had a bad dream?
Or how did I sleep?
How did I wake up?
What's going on in there todayand some days, to be honest,
friend, the answer isoverwhelmed.
I'm overwhelmed or I'm okay buttired, or even I'm actually
excited, you know.
So I think naming it also helpsme to navigate it as well.
So I encourage you to just, youknow, put your hand on your
(06:29):
heart when you wake up.
You know, of course, you knowyou have all the gratitude and
everything, but ask yourselfwhat's going on in here today
and figure out what the answeris and just name it, cause the
more when you name it, like Isaid, you're going to be able to
navigate your day and justnavigate that particular feeling
as well.
And for me, if I skip this step, my friend honey, the day just
starts dragging me instead ofguiding me the day, to be honest
.
So I try to be more intentionalwhen it comes to that and,
(06:52):
honestly, it just takes twominutes, nothing more, nothing
less.
It could be one minute to twominutes max, but it honestly can
completely shift your emotionaltone as you face the day as
well.
The next step is to createemotional safety in your routine
.
To be honest, I used to thinkthat I needed a perfect morning
routine because you see the girlis out here on social media, so
(07:14):
I thought I had to meditate,journal, drink the Cloverfield
water, work out like sis.
No, we're not doing all that.
We're not doing that.
Sometimes my routine is justlighting a candle and sitting in
silence for at least three tofive minutes, before even
picking my phone up to check anotification from the night
before.
Like no, I am a journal girlie,I will say that.
(07:35):
But again, I don't want you tothink that you have to have the
perfect morning routine.
You have a morning routine thatworks for you.
For me, my morning routine isI'm going to get up between 5
and 5.30.
It depends on what time I go tobed that night or how I feel
that night.
Then I'll push my wake up timeto 5.30.
While my normal or usual wakeup time is 5 o'clock.
When I get up, I'm putting aheart on my chest, thanking God,
(07:56):
you know, doing my littledevotions and then asking you
know what's going on in my hearttoday how did I wake up today?
And then, once I do that, youknow that's like three to five
minutes then I'll get up, drinka glass of water.
I will do my journaling becauseone thing I'm going to do, I
will journal.
I will journal because I behaving some crazy dreams or some
revelations in my sleepsometimes that I need to
document, but I'll journal.
(08:17):
And one thing I like is that Ihave Alexa and at 5.30 every
morning she plays my gospelplaylist.
Like I've run that playlistthrough so many times that I
know exactly what song is goingto come next.
Of course you know.
So she'll turn the gospelplaylist on and we'll start very
soft and, you know, justsoothing.
The first song on the gospelplaylist is no Weapon Formed
Against Me by Fred Hammond, Ithink it is.
(08:39):
And every time that song comesout I'm like, yes, it just sets
the tone for my morning and youknow so.
It's just part of my morningroutine.
And then at night, you know,after I'm done that I mean back
up here, after I'm done that,you know I'll take a shower, I
prepare my breakfast and all ofa sudden I'm just moving slow.
So this is the safety of mymorning.
I am moving slow.
Sometimes I light a candle,depending on how I feel, but I
(09:02):
will move slow because, again,that's going to set the tone for
my day.
And then at night, when my mindis racing, because, like I
would have mentioned in the past, my mind goes like a mile per
half a second.
At this point, you know I'lltake a warm shower, sometimes
with eucalyptus or lavender oil,and I'll have my evening
playlist, but it depends on themood, because sometimes it may
be soccer, maybe I'll have onsome Claudette Peters or
(09:24):
something playing in thebackground while I'm doing this,
or it may end up being, youknow, an R&B night or an old
school reggae Lucky Doobie doesit for me almost every night, to
be honest.
And then, you know, I remindmyself during this phase that I
deserve softness and that restis not lazy, it's a healing
ritual.
So really and truly work oncreating emotional safety in
(09:46):
your routine.
It doesn't have to be perfect,it just has to suit you, nobody
else, but suiting yourself, allright.
And then the next step isessentially feeling your
feelings.
And when we say feelingfeelings, we mean all of them,
all, all, all of them, all ofthem.
Okay, I've had to learn thehard way that being strong
doesn't mean being emotionallynumb, and that was a lesson I
(10:08):
had to learn a very, very hardway.
And sometimes strength lookslike crying in the bathroom
floor.
On the bathroom floor, it lookslike journaling pages of anger.
By the time you get to the nextpage and you look at it, it's
like wow, you know you almostlike dug the pen through the
page and sometimes it could justbe you feeling sad and you're
just releasing it and I think Iwould have mentioned in the
(10:29):
previous episode last week ifyou haven't, please go listen to
it and I'll put it in the shownotes but healing things that I
started doing was sending myselfvoice notes when I was
overwhelmed, like a friend justsaying you know, I know this is
hard, I'm proud of you.
Just affirm yourself and justsend some things on your mind.
You can't write it out rightnow.
Get to that, do that voice noteapp and you record yourself
(10:50):
because at the end of the day,you don't have to suppress it,
you don't have to explain it andyou don't, you just have to
feel it, just feel it.
I remember the other day I washaving a conversation with my
sister, chloe Shout out to Chloeand you know we're all working
on our mental health, we're alltrying to grow and just be
emotionally healthy, andsomething happened and I can't
remember because you know yourgirl here is a big sister as
well.
I mean, I have a big sister toobut she had called me and she
(11:18):
was saying something and I foundmyself basically trying to tell
her to move on from how she wasfeeling right away.
And sometimes it's a flawbecause you pour into them and
you want them to see the betterof the situation or try to move
forward and keep pressing,essentially.
But I remember her saying to meand oh, chloe wouldn't have
done this, so I'm so gratefulfor her emotional and maturity
(11:41):
as it relates to her emotionalwellness and I feel like, you
know, no tea.
I want to just feel thesefeelings for a while and then I
can move on, because too manytimes I've been moving on on not
dealing with my feelings and Iwas like I raised my hands to
the heavens.
I say you know what?
You're absolutely right, youknow, and I did apologize
because my intention wasn't tobe forget your feelings and keep
it moving.
But you know again, sometimes asa big sister, you want them to
(12:01):
not feel the pain or whateverthe case may be.
But again she would havementioned, you know, wanting to
feel her feelings and then shecan move on.
Now I'm not telling you to feelyour feelings for an entire
month.
Now, you know, but don'tsuppress how you feel, don't
even explain it.
Just feel what you have to feeland then you know, you'll know
how to navigate that feelingonce you get it out Again.
That can be journaling pages ofanger or sadness and just
(12:24):
releasing it.
The next thing is protect yourenergy like it's gold, like I
know.
In the past we've talked about,oh, I'm going to protect my
energy.
X Y Z, X Y Z.
Listen, protect your energylike it is gold.
My friend, a few months agomaybe for at least for an entire
year, more so I realized that Iwas constantly available.
An email I'm respondingimmediately.
(12:45):
Okay.
The group chat I'm active inthat group chat.
You know the Instagram DMsalways open, like everything,
doesn't matter what it isInstagram, facebook, tiktok,
whatever the app, whatever it isthe platform, imessage,
whatever I would always respondin a very, very timely manner.
Like you, send me that messageat 10.14, I can guarantee I'm
replying at 10.14 and 27 seconds.
(13:06):
Okay, now I give myselfpermission to unplug.
I found myself the other day onfollowing accounts on my social
media that basically, wasmessing with my peace.
I can no longer subscribe towhat they're even selling or
whatever the case may be.
And on the weekends, I take myweekends as my quiet, no phone
somewhat.
Do nothing day.
The do nothing day, please, notin my world yet.
(13:29):
But I minimize what I do on theweekends because my phone on
the weekends stays on.
Do not disturb, it does not getoff of that.
Unless you have the privilegeto have access to me While it's
on, do Not Disturb.
It is going to be there untilMonday morning 8 o'clock.
When that phone goes off, doNot Disturb.
Then I can decide whatnotification I want to check.
And I think this is whatemotional boundaries look like
(13:50):
in real life Just unplug, stopbeing available for everyone,
especially when you know I knowfor me.
Okay, I need this, I want thatX, y, z and me being a people
pleaser or a recovering peoplepleaser.
That's one of the reasons why Iwould constantly respond right
away, even when I know peopleonly using me for their gain.
Essentially and I had to learnthe hard way you know what no,
you're going to unplug.
No is a full sentence.
(14:11):
You don't need to be availableto everyone.
And let me tell you that's alife changer, my friend, so
definitely to me.
Unplugging and giving yourselfpermission to unplug and just
not be out in the world andknowing everything that's what
emotional boundaries look likein our everyday life honestly
and then just make space for joyand connection.
(14:32):
Like I know, life gets heavyShit.
We live in a world where, again, every time you wake up, it's
just always something.
So life can get heavy, but westill deserve joy.
I have been intentional.
I don't always get it right,but I've been intentional lately
about doing small things thatbring me back to myself.
One thing I'm going to do I'mgoing to be having carpool
(14:53):
karaoke or I'm going to be inthe house cooking, singing.
You can't tell me I'm notsounding like Beyonce, I'm not
sounding like Bucci Bantam, likeI'm just that girl.
Like you know dancing andsinging.
You know sending differentvoice notes to my friends, you
know back in Antigua, just ingeneral, or just watching
something funny just to laugh alot, or even not for me.
I've been watching, you know, alot of Netflix series now.
(15:14):
Some are always a lot ofNetflix series now Summer and
all is really funny.
But it just brings me a levelof joy to know that I can just
sit and watch an eight episodeseries or I can get a couple of
episodes in, because watching TVand listening to music
generally does bring me joy.
So the moment I have to sit andactually watch an episode back
to back without picking my phoneup.
That to me is a sense of joy,for me as well.
(15:36):
But I will say this you know,joy doesn't mean everything is
perfect, and I think that's alsoa lesson I had to learn and I
want you to learn that as well.
Joy doesn't mean everything hasto be perfect.
It just simply means that youare letting your nervous system
breathe.
It's as simple as that.
You're just letting yournervous system breathe, because,
(16:03):
for me, I'm always on edge,sometimes not realizing, I'm
always tense, not realizing that.
So again, joy doesn't meaneverything is perfect.
It just means you're lettingyour nervous system breathe.
Now I'm going to share some ofmy go-to mental health staples,
and they have really supportedme on a regular basis.
These are the constant, reallyand truly, and I've mentioned
these several times throughoutthe podcast.
Not much has changed in thatdepartment, but I definitely
want you to look at what I'mgoing to say in a different
(16:25):
light because, again, it'sreally, really, it's really
simple, like really simple.
So here I might go to mentalhealth staples.
The first one is journaling inthe mornings, not always long,
but sometimes just here's what'son my heart, daily walks, even
when I don't want to.
The movement, the air, thepause, it resets me, believe it
(16:46):
or not.
And then talking to myselfkindly.
Now, this one, my friend, thisone took a lot of time, but now
I say things like you're doingyour best and that's enough.
I just know, sometimes myself,be like yep.
Before I, even before I evenget to say it out, you're like
yep, we know, we know, we knowyou're doing your best and
that's enough.
And the other thing that I dois just take mini breaks, like I
(17:08):
.
Literally what I've been doingover the last several months is
just to set a timer to walk awayfrom my laptop at least every
hour, hour and a half.
It's a boundary and it's ablessing, especially with my job
, that I do.
I work, you know, but thesearen't necessarily glamorous,
(17:32):
they're not Instagrammable, asthey say, but they do work, my
friend.
They honestly do work, and Idefinitely want to ensure that
you just make it a habit to doeven one thing from this list as
well.
And I'm going to say it againin case you didn't hear it the
first time.
So here's Tanya's go-to mentalhealth staples Journaling in the
mornings, daily walks, talkingto yourself kindly and taking
(17:57):
mini breaks.
So when you journal, it doesn'thave to be long, it can just
simply be here's what's on myheart.
You know, taking those dailywalks.
Even though you don't want to,the movement in the air is going
to reset you.
And then you want to talk toyourself kindly, say something
as simple as you know, whatyou're doing your best and
that's enough, and that's all itis.
And then, like I say, take minibreaks in at least every 60 to
(18:20):
90 minutes, because, again,that's going to be a bunch that
you set for yourself.
You're going to be active, butat least you can reset wherever
you are as well.
They may not be the mostglamorous staples, but I
guarantee you, my friend, theywork All right.
So I did say I wasn't going tokeep you here hanging in the tea
tasting room today, so we'reabout to get this episode up and
out of here, all right, but Iwant you to do three things that
(18:43):
you can start doing today.
And that's one pause and checkin.
Ask yourself what am I feeling?
What do I need?
The second thing is to chooseone grounding habit that could
be light a candle.
That could be drinking teaslowly, that could be stretching
.
Just you know one small anchorand then just try to infuse joy
(19:04):
into your life, even for fiveminutes.
Watch something funny, textsomeone you love, or just move
your body to music.
You know what I mean.
Like you don't need to overhaulyour life to protect your peace
, just start with what feelsgentle and doable, my friend.
What feels gentle and what isdoable, all right.
(19:25):
So, friend, as we come to theend of the episode, you know
your mental health is worthprioritizing.
I know you've heard it time andtime again, but your mental
health is worth prioritizing,not just when everything falls
apart, but every single day,because sometimes we tend to
wait until stuff has hit the fanand then, once it hit the fan,
we're are going hey, why don'twe want to take care of our
(19:45):
mental health now?
Do it every single day.
And this is a reminder that youare allowed to rest, you are
allowed to feel, you are allowedto not be okay and you are
still worthy of care and joy,even in your messiest moments as
well.
So, if this episode spoke toyou in some way shape or form,
if this episode spoke to you insome way, shape or form, I would
love to hear what resonated.
You know what to do Send anInstagram DM, tag me in your
(20:07):
stories and let's just keep theconversation going.
And you know we're at the end ofMarch by the time you hear this
.
It's going to be the lastTuesday in March and I'm looking
forward to what's going to comein April.
You know, share this episodewith someone that you love,
(20:30):
because we are buildingcommunity over here in the tea
tasting room.
One real honest conversation ata time.
Okay, friend, next month we arediving into wellness across
life stages.
I'm excited for that episodefor that month, as a matter of
fact, because you know we'regoing to be talking about the
wellness across different lifestages as well.
So, um, I cannot wait to sharethat space with you guys every
Tuesday.
Next month is about to be nextlevel.
Until then, my friend sip,slowly speak kindly to yourself
and take care of your beautifulmind and heart.
(20:53):
All my love.
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of Tea with
Tanya.
If you like this episode, besure to share it with a friend.
Don't forget to follow onInstagram at Tea with Tanya.
If you liked this episode, besure to share it with a friend.
Don't forget to follow onInstagram at T with Tanya
podcast.
Be sure to subscribe to theweekly T-Talk newsletter and, of
course, rate on Apple orSpotify and subscribe wherever
(21:16):
you listen.
See you next time.
I love you for listening.
Welcome to Tea with Tanya.
I'm your host, tanya Ambrose,an average millennial navigating
life as a maternal healthprofessional, non-profit founder
and grad student.
Join me in the tea tasting roomwhere we spill the tea on
finding balance and promotingpositive living while doing it
all.
(00:20):
Hey friend, welcome back to Teawith Tanya, your space for real
, honest and transformativeconversations about health,
wellness and promoting positiveliving.
Now, my friend, I want toapologize to you in advance if
my voice sounds different or youmay hear it crack in between as
(00:41):
I continue to record thisepisode.
So I am going to keep it shortand sweet for us today in the
tea tasting room.
But if you hear my voicesounding a little bit weird or
strange, it's not me.
It's my migraine meds, becauseyour girl has been going crazy
with a migraine all weekendbecause the pollen decided that
they wanted to just pollen morethan anything else, to the point
that it's giving me migraine.
So my migraine meds usuallymake me sound a little bit
(01:03):
different for the first coupleof days.
So you know, bear with yourgirl.
She's here, she's here, she istaking care of herself, but you
know her migraine.
I don't know what triggers mymigraine, but I know for sure,
the migraine that I have, evenright now recording this episode
, is as a result of the pollenoutside, so at this point I need
to just stay in set and not goanywhere.
It's given that it's givenstaying indoors until fall, or
(01:25):
at least summer.
But nevertheless, my friend, Ihope you've done something for
yourself within the last weekthat we met here Because, again,
as we continue on our wholewoman wellness journey, taking
care of ourself is important.
Even if that's two to threeminutes of doing nothing, or two
to three minutes of justpouring into yourself, it is
still a lot to do and it's stillsomething it's still going to
(01:46):
count.
So make sure that you're takingthe time to do something for
yourself, all right.
So today we are diving intosomething super close to my
heart, and that's mental healthbasics, specifically simple
practices that we canincorporate into our everyday
lives to support emotionalwellness.
And when I say simple, myfriend, I mean real life.
I'm exhausted, but still tryingto show up for myself.
Simple Because, if you'reanything like me, there have
(02:12):
been days where just brushingyour teeth and sending that one
text felt like a win.
Guess what, my friend?
It is a win.
It is a win and I want us tounderstand that as well.
But today I am here sipping onsome peppermint tea, you know,
just holding the vibe here inthe tea tasting room with you,
and I hope you have gotsomething warm and comforting
too as well.
So here's why I wanted to talkabout this.
Recently I had one of those dayswhere there was just back to
(02:35):
back meetings, you know,emotionally heavy conversations,
trying to meet everyone's needs, and then I realized that I
hadn't even checked in withmyself all day.
I was just on autopilot fromthe time I got to work.
By the time I got home, youknow, I just felt depleted, not
sad, I will say, not even angry,just emotionally flat, like.
I was like flatline emotionallybecause it was a day that just
(02:56):
kept.
It started crazy from theminute I went to work.
Meetings after meetings, youknow, hearing all these heavy
things that are happening to thepeople that we serve, and it's
just, you know, trying to meeteverybody's needs, whether it's
at work, nonprofit, whatever itis, that's everybody's needs.
And I was just emotionally atmy wit's end and I think in that
moment I had to remind myself,you know, mental health isn't
(03:17):
just something that I advocatefor in my work or to my
nonprofit, or even here in thepodcast.
It's something that I have toprioritize for me, too Now.
We don't have to wait untilwe're in crisis to support our
mental health.
Emotional wellness is somethingthat we build moment by moment,
choice by choice, and I oftentell people when they're asking
me, tanya, how are you doingtoday?
(03:39):
And I say no, I'm doing okay,I'm just taking it one moment at
a time.
You know, going up in churchand you have the gospel song.
You know, one day at a time Forme.
Ever since I've been in therapyand just as I've been growing
emotionally, I often do my verybest to take things one moment
at a time.
That's all I got.
I can't even say one day.
I have to say one moment at atime.
(04:00):
You know, choice by choice.
Now I want to share some simplepractices for everyday
emotional wellness, and ifyou've been listening to the
previous episodes, I think thismonth has just been a theme
about emotional wellness,self-care, taking care of you,
because you know we often startthe year off wanting oh, I'm
going to lose 10 pounds by thismonth, or I'm going to do X, y,
z in the first quarter and, tobe honest, friend, it doesn't
(04:20):
always go as planned for me.
I am still one processingthings from the latter half of
2024.
Before I started to record thisepisode, I was cleaning my
bedroom.
I was tidying my bedroom and mycloset, because I've been doing
this since before the yearstarted and when the year starts
, I was, like you know, by theend of January I am going to be
done with rearranging my closet,you know, throwing away clothes
(04:41):
that can't, all these differentplans that I had and I promise
you don't even judge me here,friend, because we don't judge
people here, it's ajudgment-free zone I have had
clothes upon clothes on mybedroom floor, like that's a hot
mess, honestly a hot mess inthe room, and I'm like you know,
how can I even sleep in hereand function?
You know, granted, I knew, butat the end of the day, at the
time my mental health could notleave me there.
(05:02):
I was doing, I would cleaneverywhere I was in the house,
the bedroom, I was leaving atsome point.
But today I did that because,you know, I was like you know
what, let me get up.
This has been happening, youknow.
Let me make the choice reallyand truly to get this room
looking good, because once youdo that, your mental health is
going to even, it's going toprosper even more.
And let me tell you I'mrecording this episode sitting
in my closet.
That's fully organized and, youknow, color coordinated.
(05:25):
I don't know how I got here,because this isn't even me, but
you know I hunkered down todayand here we are in the tea
tasting room as well.
So when I talk about you know,and sometimes you know, it's
like it's hard to get out of thebed, it's hard to do things, it
happens, it happens sometimesbecause we're just emotionally
exhausted.
So some of the simple ways thatyou can practice for everyday
(05:45):
emotional wellness the firstthing is to start with a daily
check in place, my hand on myheart and, of course, you know,
I pray or I'm asking, you know,thanking God for his mercies,
essentially for me to seeanother day, you know.
And then I'll ask myself what'sgoing on in my heart today?
(06:05):
How do I feel that could havebeen?
I had a bad dream?
Or how did I sleep?
How did I wake up?
What's going on in there todayand some days, to be honest,
friend, the answer isoverwhelmed.
I'm overwhelmed or I'm okay buttired, or even I'm actually
excited, you know.
So I think naming it also helpsme to navigate it as well.
So I encourage you to just, youknow, put your hand on your
(06:29):
heart when you wake up.
You know, of course, you knowyou have all the gratitude and
everything, but ask yourselfwhat's going on in here today
and figure out what the answeris and just name it, cause the
more when you name it, like Isaid, you're going to be able to
navigate your day and justnavigate that particular feeling
as well.
And for me, if I skip this step, my friend honey, the day just
starts dragging me instead ofguiding me the day, to be honest
.
So I try to be more intentionalwhen it comes to that and,
(06:52):
honestly, it just takes twominutes, nothing more, nothing
less.
It could be one minute to twominutes max, but it honestly can
completely shift your emotionaltone as you face the day as
well.
The next step is to createemotional safety in your routine
.
To be honest, I used to thinkthat I needed a perfect morning
routine because you see the girlis out here on social media, so
(07:14):
I thought I had to meditate,journal, drink the Cloverfield
water, work out like sis.
No, we're not doing all that.
We're not doing that.
Sometimes my routine is justlighting a candle and sitting in
silence for at least three tofive minutes, before even
picking my phone up to check anotification from the night
before.
Like no, I am a journal girlie,I will say that.
(07:35):
But again, I don't want you tothink that you have to have the
perfect morning routine.
You have a morning routine thatworks for you.
For me, my morning routine isI'm going to get up between 5
and 5.30.
It depends on what time I go tobed that night or how I feel
that night.
Then I'll push my wake up timeto 5.30.
While my normal or usual wakeup time is 5 o'clock.
When I get up, I'm putting aheart on my chest, thanking God,
(07:56):
you know, doing my littledevotions and then asking you
know what's going on in my hearttoday how did I wake up today?
And then, once I do that, youknow that's like three to five
minutes then I'll get up, drinka glass of water.
I will do my journaling becauseone thing I'm going to do, I
will journal.
I will journal because I behaving some crazy dreams or some
revelations in my sleepsometimes that I need to
document, but I'll journal.
(08:17):
And one thing I like is that Ihave Alexa and at 5.30 every
morning she plays my gospelplaylist.
Like I've run that playlistthrough so many times that I
know exactly what song is goingto come next.
Of course you know.
So she'll turn the gospelplaylist on and we'll start very
soft and, you know, justsoothing.
The first song on the gospelplaylist is no Weapon Formed
Against Me by Fred Hammond, Ithink it is.
(08:39):
And every time that song comesout I'm like, yes, it just sets
the tone for my morning and youknow so.
It's just part of my morningroutine.
And then at night, you know,after I'm done that I mean back
up here, after I'm done that,you know I'll take a shower, I
prepare my breakfast and all ofa sudden I'm just moving slow.
So this is the safety of mymorning.
I am moving slow.
Sometimes I light a candle,depending on how I feel, but I
(09:02):
will move slow because, again,that's going to set the tone for
my day.
And then at night, when my mindis racing, because, like I
would have mentioned in the past, my mind goes like a mile per
half a second.
At this point, you know I'lltake a warm shower, sometimes
with eucalyptus or lavender oil,and I'll have my evening
playlist, but it depends on themood, because sometimes it may
be soccer, maybe I'll have onsome Claudette Peters or
(09:24):
something playing in thebackground while I'm doing this,
or it may end up being, youknow, an R&B night or an old
school reggae Lucky Doobie doesit for me almost every night, to
be honest.
And then, you know, I remindmyself during this phase that I
deserve softness and that restis not lazy, it's a healing
ritual.
So really and truly work oncreating emotional safety in
(09:46):
your routine.
It doesn't have to be perfect,it just has to suit you, nobody
else, but suiting yourself, allright.
And then the next step isessentially feeling your
feelings.
And when we say feelingfeelings, we mean all of them,
all, all, all of them, all ofthem.
Okay, I've had to learn thehard way that being strong
doesn't mean being emotionallynumb, and that was a lesson I
(10:08):
had to learn a very, very hardway.
And sometimes strength lookslike crying in the bathroom
floor.
On the bathroom floor, it lookslike journaling pages of anger.
By the time you get to the nextpage and you look at it, it's
like wow, you know you almostlike dug the pen through the
page and sometimes it could justbe you feeling sad and you're
just releasing it and I think Iwould have mentioned in the
(10:29):
previous episode last week ifyou haven't, please go listen to
it and I'll put it in the shownotes but healing things that I
started doing was sending myselfvoice notes when I was
overwhelmed, like a friend justsaying you know, I know this is
hard, I'm proud of you.
Just affirm yourself and justsend some things on your mind.
You can't write it out rightnow.
Get to that, do that voice noteapp and you record yourself
(10:50):
because at the end of the day,you don't have to suppress it,
you don't have to explain it andyou don't, you just have to
feel it, just feel it.
I remember the other day I washaving a conversation with my
sister, chloe Shout out to Chloeand you know we're all working
on our mental health, we're alltrying to grow and just be
emotionally healthy, andsomething happened and I can't
remember because you know yourgirl here is a big sister as
well.
I mean, I have a big sister toobut she had called me and she
(11:18):
was saying something and I foundmyself basically trying to tell
her to move on from how she wasfeeling right away.
And sometimes it's a flawbecause you pour into them and
you want them to see the betterof the situation or try to move
forward and keep pressing,essentially.
But I remember her saying to meand oh, chloe wouldn't have
done this, so I'm so gratefulfor her emotional and maturity
(11:41):
as it relates to her emotionalwellness and I feel like, you
know, no tea.
I want to just feel thesefeelings for a while and then I
can move on, because too manytimes I've been moving on on not
dealing with my feelings and Iwas like I raised my hands to
the heavens.
I say you know what?
You're absolutely right, youknow, and I did apologize
because my intention wasn't tobe forget your feelings and keep
it moving.
But you know again, sometimes asa big sister, you want them to
(12:01):
not feel the pain or whateverthe case may be.
But again she would havementioned, you know, wanting to
feel her feelings and then shecan move on.
Now I'm not telling you to feelyour feelings for an entire
month.
Now, you know, but don'tsuppress how you feel, don't
even explain it.
Just feel what you have to feeland then you know, you'll know
how to navigate that feelingonce you get it out Again.
That can be journaling pages ofanger or sadness and just
(12:24):
releasing it.
The next thing is protect yourenergy like it's gold, like I
know.
In the past we've talked about,oh, I'm going to protect my
energy.
X Y Z, X Y Z.
Listen, protect your energylike it is gold.
My friend, a few months agomaybe for at least for an entire
year, more so I realized that Iwas constantly available.
An email I'm respondingimmediately.
(12:45):
Okay.
The group chat I'm active inthat group chat.
You know the Instagram DMsalways open, like everything,
doesn't matter what it isInstagram, facebook, tiktok,
whatever the app, whatever it isthe platform, imessage,
whatever I would always respondin a very, very timely manner.
Like you, send me that messageat 10.14, I can guarantee I'm
replying at 10.14 and 27 seconds.
(13:06):
Okay, now I give myselfpermission to unplug.
I found myself the other day onfollowing accounts on my social
media that basically, wasmessing with my peace.
I can no longer subscribe towhat they're even selling or
whatever the case may be.
And on the weekends, I take myweekends as my quiet, no phone
somewhat.
Do nothing day.
The do nothing day, please, notin my world yet.
(13:29):
But I minimize what I do on theweekends because my phone on
the weekends stays on.
Do not disturb, it does not getoff of that.
Unless you have the privilegeto have access to me While it's
on, do Not Disturb.
It is going to be there untilMonday morning 8 o'clock.
When that phone goes off, doNot Disturb.
Then I can decide whatnotification I want to check.
And I think this is whatemotional boundaries look like
(13:50):
in real life Just unplug, stopbeing available for everyone,
especially when you know I knowfor me.
Okay, I need this, I want thatX, y, z and me being a people
pleaser or a recovering peoplepleaser.
That's one of the reasons why Iwould constantly respond right
away, even when I know peopleonly using me for their gain.
Essentially and I had to learnthe hard way you know what no,
you're going to unplug.
No is a full sentence.
(14:11):
You don't need to be availableto everyone.
And let me tell you that's alife changer, my friend, so
definitely to me.
Unplugging and giving yourselfpermission to unplug and just
not be out in the world andknowing everything that's what
emotional boundaries look likein our everyday life honestly
and then just make space for joyand connection.
(14:32):
Like I know, life gets heavyShit.
We live in a world where, again, every time you wake up, it's
just always something.
So life can get heavy, but westill deserve joy.
I have been intentional.
I don't always get it right,but I've been intentional lately
about doing small things thatbring me back to myself.
One thing I'm going to do I'mgoing to be having carpool
(14:53):
karaoke or I'm going to be inthe house cooking, singing.
You can't tell me I'm notsounding like Beyonce, I'm not
sounding like Bucci Bantam, likeI'm just that girl.
Like you know dancing andsinging.
You know sending differentvoice notes to my friends, you
know back in Antigua, just ingeneral, or just watching
something funny just to laugh alot, or even not for me.
I've been watching, you know, alot of Netflix series now.
(15:14):
Some are always a lot ofNetflix series now Summer and
all is really funny.
But it just brings me a levelof joy to know that I can just
sit and watch an eight episodeseries or I can get a couple of
episodes in, because watching TVand listening to music
generally does bring me joy.
So the moment I have to sit andactually watch an episode back
to back without picking my phoneup.
That to me is a sense of joy,for me as well.
(15:36):
But I will say this you know,joy doesn't mean everything is
perfect, and I think that's alsoa lesson I had to learn and I
want you to learn that as well.
Joy doesn't mean everything hasto be perfect.
It just simply means that youare letting your nervous system
breathe.
It's as simple as that.
You're just letting yournervous system breathe, because,
(16:03):
for me, I'm always on edge,sometimes not realizing, I'm
always tense, not realizing that.
So again, joy doesn't meaneverything is perfect.
It just means you're lettingyour nervous system breathe.
Now I'm going to share some ofmy go-to mental health staples,
and they have really supportedme on a regular basis.
These are the constant, reallyand truly, and I've mentioned
these several times throughoutthe podcast.
Not much has changed in thatdepartment, but I definitely
want you to look at what I'mgoing to say in a different
(16:25):
light because, again, it'sreally, really, it's really
simple, like really simple.
So here I might go to mentalhealth staples.
The first one is journaling inthe mornings, not always long,
but sometimes just here's what'son my heart, daily walks, even
when I don't want to.
The movement, the air, thepause, it resets me, believe it
(16:46):
or not.
And then talking to myselfkindly.
Now, this one, my friend, thisone took a lot of time, but now
I say things like you're doingyour best and that's enough.
I just know, sometimes myself,be like yep.
Before I, even before I evenget to say it out, you're like
yep, we know, we know, we knowyou're doing your best and
that's enough.
And the other thing that I dois just take mini breaks, like I
(17:08):
.
Literally what I've been doingover the last several months is
just to set a timer to walk awayfrom my laptop at least every
hour, hour and a half.
It's a boundary and it's ablessing, especially with my job
, that I do.
I work, you know, but thesearen't necessarily glamorous,
(17:32):
they're not Instagrammable, asthey say, but they do work, my
friend.
They honestly do work, and Idefinitely want to ensure that
you just make it a habit to doeven one thing from this list as
well.
And I'm going to say it againin case you didn't hear it the
first time.
So here's Tanya's go-to mentalhealth staples Journaling in the
mornings, daily walks, talkingto yourself kindly and taking
(17:57):
mini breaks.
So when you journal, it doesn'thave to be long, it can just
simply be here's what's on myheart.
You know, taking those dailywalks.
Even though you don't want to,the movement in the air is going
to reset you.
And then you want to talk toyourself kindly, say something
as simple as you know, whatyou're doing your best and
that's enough, and that's all itis.
And then, like I say, take minibreaks in at least every 60 to
(18:20):
90 minutes, because, again,that's going to be a bunch that
you set for yourself.
You're going to be active, butat least you can reset wherever
you are as well.
They may not be the mostglamorous staples, but I
guarantee you, my friend, theywork All right.
So I did say I wasn't going tokeep you here hanging in the tea
tasting room today, so we'reabout to get this episode up and
out of here, all right, but Iwant you to do three things that
(18:43):
you can start doing today.
And that's one pause and checkin.
Ask yourself what am I feeling?
What do I need?
The second thing is to chooseone grounding habit that could
be light a candle.
That could be drinking teaslowly, that could be stretching
.
Just you know one small anchorand then just try to infuse joy
(19:04):
into your life, even for fiveminutes.
Watch something funny, textsomeone you love, or just move
your body to music.
You know what I mean.
Like you don't need to overhaulyour life to protect your peace
, just start with what feelsgentle and doable, my friend.
What feels gentle and what isdoable, all right.
(19:25):
So, friend, as we come to theend of the episode, you know
your mental health is worthprioritizing.
I know you've heard it time andtime again, but your mental
health is worth prioritizing,not just when everything falls
apart, but every single day,because sometimes we tend to
wait until stuff has hit the fanand then, once it hit the fan,
we're are going hey, why don'twe want to take care of our
(19:45):
mental health now?
Do it every single day.
And this is a reminder that youare allowed to rest, you are
allowed to feel, you are allowedto not be okay and you are
still worthy of care and joy,even in your messiest moments as
well.
So, if this episode spoke toyou in some way shape or form,
if this episode spoke to you insome way, shape or form, I would
love to hear what resonated.
You know what to do Send anInstagram DM, tag me in your
(20:07):
stories and let's just keep theconversation going.
And you know we're at the end ofMarch by the time you hear this
.
It's going to be the lastTuesday in March and I'm looking
forward to what's going to comein April.
You know, share this episodewith someone that you love,
(20:30):
because we are buildingcommunity over here in the tea
tasting room.
One real honest conversation ata time.
Okay, friend, next month we arediving into wellness across
life stages.
I'm excited for that episodefor that month, as a matter of
fact, because you know we'regoing to be talking about the
wellness across different lifestages as well.
So, um, I cannot wait to sharethat space with you guys every
Tuesday.
Next month is about to be nextlevel.
Until then, my friend sip,slowly speak kindly to yourself
and take care of your beautifulmind and heart.
(20:53):
All my love.
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of Tea with
Tanya.
If you like this episode, besure to share it with a friend.
Don't forget to follow onInstagram at Tea with Tanya.
If you liked this episode, besure to share it with a friend.
Don't forget to follow onInstagram at T with Tanya
podcast.
Be sure to subscribe to theweekly T-Talk newsletter and, of
course, rate on Apple orSpotify and subscribe wherever
(21:16):
you listen.
See you next time.
I love you for listening.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!