October 30, 2024 • 49 mins
Join us for an intimate conversation with the talented Calvin M. Thompson as we explore the complexities of navigating rejection in the arts. From his roots in Aiken, South Carolina, to the bustling streets of New York City, Calvin shares his journey and the resilience it requires to thrive as a Black artist in a demanding industry. We reminisce about our first meeting during auditions for the Motown national tour and discuss how our connection has evolved into a rich friendship. Calvin opens up about the inspiration he drew from Barack Obama's 2008 election, a milestone that fueled his belief in his potential and set the tone for his artistic endeavors.
We also tackle the profound themes of self-love and purpose, drawing on the wisdom of the late Chadwick Boseman. Calvin and I reflect on the grounding power of love and how embracing rejection can lead to true alignment with one's path. Through personal anecdotes, we discuss the unpredictable nature of the theater world and the courage it takes to walk away from opportunities that don't resonate with personal values. This episode offers listeners a fresh perspective on finding authenticity and fulfillment in their work by embracing each "no" as a stepping stone to the right "yes."
Finally, we celebrate the importance of maintaining identity and authenticity in creative spaces. Calvin and I delve into the responsibility of choosing roles that reflect diverse Black experiences and the challenge of staying true to oneself amidst external pressures. We share our aspirations to tell powerful and authentic stories, emphasizing gratitude and self-awareness as keys to navigating the artistic journey. So, grab your cup of tea and join us in this heartfelt discussion. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram at Tea with TJ Podcast, and stay tuned for more inspiring conversations!
Join us in conversation on socials:
Youtube
Instagram
Tik Tok
Twitter
Threads
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
TJ (00:15):
Hey friends, it's TJ, and you're listening to Tea with TJ,
where our love for tea,conversation and
self-improvement intersect.
So let's take a deeper diveinto my cup and let's have a
chat.
Hey friends, it's TJ.
Welcome back to another episodeof Tea with TJ, and today I
(00:39):
have Calvin Thompson.
Yes, I just realized also thatthis is, I think, the second
time we've encountered eachother.
Calvin (00:49):
Literally Overdue yeah.
TJ (00:54):
A long time.
Calvin (00:56):
Welcome to the pod.
I'm so happy to be here.
I'm so happy to have you.
TJ (01:01):
So quickly for our folks listening and watching.
Can you just tell us your story?
Calvin (01:07):
Sure, so I am originally from Aiken, south Carolina.
We just realized we're bothSouth Carolinian, so hey, cousin
.
Yeah originally, but also bornin Augusta Georgia.
Yeah, originally, but also bornin Augusta Georgia.
So born on the c likekindergarten doing like reading
(01:32):
poetry and stuff out loud, andthen anytime I got to open my
(01:56):
mouth in a choir or somethinglike that.
I was like, yeah, yeah, musicand all the things.
And not until college did Irealize I wanted to actually
pursue a career in the arts.
So say, my sophomore year incollege, I booked my first
(02:16):
professional theater job working.
So I started working then, andmoved to New York.
I was about 24.
Yeah, yeah, went to AMDA, umand um did that route and I've
been in New York ever since.
I did uh about um a good 11years here, went out west, did
(02:42):
la to right before, literally ayear before pandemic, because I
was like and so you know, it'sjust like rolling, rolling with
the punches rolling.
But uh, life brought me backhere, back to good old, in my
sea, and so I've been back, uhsince 2022, gotcha Nice and
(03:02):
that's been my journey to like,just this kind of nomadically
finding myself as an artist.
I love that.
TJ (03:13):
Yeah, I was just having a conversation with a friend the
other day and I mentioned thatto them because I was saying how
I think in my adult life I'verealized that I would consider
myself very nomadic.
Yeah, that I'm totally okay tolive out of a suitcase and just
kind of exist and floatingthrough, you know, through the
country or through the world.
(03:33):
I love that.
Yeah, I am curious about twothings before we jump in,
because just thinking about yourstory and I'm like this is the
connective tissue.
So you went to amda and I thinkthis is how we got connected.
I remember our first encounterwas at the motown audition.
(03:57):
Uh, and back in the day forthat first national tour, back
in the day for that firstnational tour.
Yeah, oh my, my, my yes, yes,yes uh and um, I was there with
my friend kiari at the time andthat's how we got introduced and
, yeah, um, and I think wefollowed each other on social
(04:19):
media really after that becauseI feel like I've known, I've
known I, not I feel.
Calvin (04:23):
I know that I've known you for years.
TJ (04:26):
But even in that moment I felt like I've known you, like,
even though that was the firsttime we've met.
I feel like there was somethingthere and as I'm getting to
know more about you andencounter you more, things are
starting to just make sense.
Because even the subject thingI'm like, that's what it is,
that's exactly what it is sowhen we were talking about
(04:51):
topics for the episode today, um, the thing that kind of like
stuck out to you the most wasthe rejection, um.
So I'm curious to know from youwhat does, what does rejection
look like, both in yourprofessional life as an actor,
but also maybe like in your likeeveryday life, like outside
life?
Calvin (05:12):
what does rejection look like in my professional life
and in my everyday life?
Well, um, you know, thisindustry is not, um, an easy
industry.
Uh, you know, I've.
(05:33):
I have quite a um, quite a bitof people that I don't.
And I don't know if you ever getthose questions that are like,
um, in no shade to anyone whohas done this, but like random
folk, that'll be like, hey, Iknow somebody, either my son or
my daughter, um or or so, and sois like I've never acted before
(05:56):
and I just want to take a.
You know, and I'm like okay,but do you really know what
you're signing yourself up for?
And you know, I think that I'mgoing to go backwards.
Personally, I think that youknow, no matter where you are
(06:19):
from geographically, sayingwe're coming from the South,
right, black men coming from theSouth, right, black men coming
from the South.
So there's already that of um,what this country has kind of
tried to put on us, right and um, trying to find out who we are
(06:42):
with our own identity, but thento say, oh, you can't do that
you can't be that.
And I it's funny enough, um, I'mgetting into the rejection but
also the acceptance part.
Like I remember I was workingon um a tour, the first tour
(07:04):
that I won, one of the onlytours I had done, but it was
around 2008 and that was when,barack Obama, you know what I'm
saying, and I remember I was theonly black man in my cast.
It was a very short cast, but Ijust remember standing in the
middle of my hotel room and Iwas just like filled with so
(07:26):
much pride and I was like, wow,this is the first time I've seen
that kind of tangible, tangibleevidence that of what I could
be more to.
Again going back to theindustry and then tell you, okay
(07:47):
, well, we see you as this, wesee you as that, and now you
have to see, you have to knowwhat the vision is for your life
.
You have to often, and eventhis right here is like the
closing of your eyes.
So that way, what seeing whatyou see for your life?
let me do I statements I seefrom my own life and so that way
(08:10):
you know, I've, I've, it's beentough you know sometimes when,
um, you really want certainthings or you really want
certain jobs, and I think thatlife is kind of life and
(08:32):
experience has taught me to it'sin the it's, in the relaxation
and the release of knowing whoyou are and trusting in all the
cosmic and the Divine movementthat what is meant for you will
(08:52):
be for you.
Um, I was literally working ona gig.
um, um, today's friday, saturday, yes uh, thursday and um, and
they were uh, some of theco-workers on that.
This particular project wastalking about this state.
(09:19):
She was from kansas and she wastalking about.
The pastor at the church thatshe came from was um.
They were kind of up in age andthey always wanted a child and
one of their members had um.
Unfortunately, um had uh beenraped and and had a child out of
(09:40):
rape.
But anyway, long so short.
The blessing in that thathorrible circumstance was that
she gave her child to the pastorand the wife, um, but in the
desiring of wanting a child fortheir own self, in that moment
(10:02):
they themselves were able toconceive and it was like, and it
was like, ah well, what is that?
Why do um, especially sometimeswith women?
And being like saying, when youyour ability to conceive, you
know what I'm saying?
It's like it's when your bodyis in a relaxed state and you've
(10:23):
let go of the thing and it'slike.
TJ (10:26):
So I was like ah, life, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you
, god.
No, no, it's interestingbecause I am, it's it's so.
I mentioned this to you beforewe started recording, but this
week I have been um recordingepisodes for this season every
day since wednesday and today's,saturday, um, and it's been
very interesting that everyguest that I've had thus far has
(10:49):
brought into the conversationthis kind of like spiritual
connection, or divineintervention, or divinity, and
how to achieve the things thatyou want out of life in your
connection to those things, tothose two things.
Um, because even just yesterdaywith stacy, who recorded um
(11:12):
which I don't know where this isgonna fall, but make sure you
watch our episode um, she wassaying the exact same thing.
So, and I love that, like, evenin this moment, things are still
somehow, you know, connected umwith this idea of trying to
align yourself with the thingsthat you want and desire.
(11:33):
Um, in in kind of holding spacefor the rejection piece too.
Yeah, where, where do you thinkyou fall?
Or like, what are some toolsthat are helpful for you when
dealing with, like, rejectionprofessionally?
Calvin (11:54):
I am literally currently going through a season, a
season I was telling tj beforewe started that, um, it's been a
very, it's a very interestingseason right now because, um, I
don't know if I yeah, maybe it'sthe delulu right now that's
(12:15):
telling me.
That's fair, that I wasn't,that I wasn't rejected, but it's
been.
I I guess I'm looking at it asdelay or like whatever.
But yes, the the tools that umI use is, uh, grounding, um
meditation, grounding andmeditation is a huge grounding,
(12:37):
meditation and prayer, so that'sa spiritual practice in itself
that I feel like I hold formyself.
I always try to, if I don't doit daily, I try to at least tap
in like four or five times aweek, but just to every morning
come back to gratitude and mywhy and putting my feet on the
(12:58):
ground and saying like, okay,this is where I'm at today and
this is what I have control overat today and this is what I
have control over and everythingelse I yield over to, um, my
belief.
I believe in god, so that thatis my belief system.
Um, I also I'm a heavy believerin community.
(13:21):
So, knowing that I havecommunity and that brings me
balance and I often I'mbeginning better with that piece
, that tool, to say, you knowwhat?
Because when I get so tightabout, oh, I'm supposed to be
(13:45):
there, I was supposed to be hereby now and that particular
project was supposed to be mineit's like I get pulled back to
the present with laughter andlove and just being like be
present with people who aretrying to love on me.
I was having a moment yesterdaythat I was looking at an old
(14:10):
Chadwick Boseman interview andhe said something along the
lines of love and you, the?
(14:30):
He said I always, um, I I'mbrought back to not necessarily
feeling like.
I need to feel loved, but likeor not not not feel loved, but I
need to love on people.
I need to love on.
That brings me back to beingpresent and he's like you know I
don't he at that time he wasspeaking that he didn't have the
traditional like wife and kids,family thing, but he was like I
have cousins, I have like Ilove on, and if that is a
(14:51):
driving force for me to be likeI need to love you, so I think
that fills up our cup, yeah, andand replenishes us in such a
way where you know, um, becausethere's no, there's no formula
and there's no, sometimes youcould, you could not know why
(15:16):
certain things go.
Literally I went on theaudition, say, about a month ago
now.
It was one of my firstin-persons, uh, this year and,
um, literally I was like I feltgood about it because I went to
the audition and I think I knewthe art well, not I think I knew
I did know the um, the directorwho was an associate artistic
(15:42):
director of, uh, this particulartheater.
I feel like I'm puttingbusiness out there.
It's fine, right, it's fine.
Anyway, I went into thisaudition and I feel like I
killed it and I and they, theyknew, um, they kind of had me on
(16:11):
their peripheral of like what Ihad been doing over the past
year.
Um, they knew like I'm on holdfor something coming up this
fall.
So I was like, yeah, and thisparticular project would have
went right before said gig.
So I was like, oh, yes, please,uh, booking behind booking and
(16:33):
I've been praying for that.
I've been current praying forbeing booked back to back.
But then, um, so I did theaudition.
It felt there was like reallygood work, can we make some
adjustments?
Did the adjustments?
Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.
Then she said okay great, callback tomorrow.
Are you available tomorrow, askme.
I said yeah, see you tomorrow.
(16:53):
I said I'm on a joke.
I love it.
I love it.
So I left and went home, went onabout my day, had me a merry
old day, and I'm on my phone,boop, boop, Checking email Boop
boop Boop, just refreshing Boopyeah.
(17:14):
Boop 12 o'clock.
Boop 8 am next day.
Boop 10 am next day.
Boop 5 pm next day.
Boop 10 am next day.
Boop 5 pm next day Boop.
I said, oh oh, it's a no Y'all,randy Jackson, me it was a no
dog, okay.
(17:34):
Randy Jackson Got you rightyeah.
Yeah, okay, ouch, but I was like, but I again, maybe that, maybe
that's the, the delulu that Ihave.
I was like you know what it?
It wasn't meant for me andagain I I maybe that's just my
(17:57):
perspective of saying, speakingabout a light it goes hand in
hand.
I think that rejection andalignment you can't, you, you
can't have, um, you can't haveuh, one without the other, right
, um, yes, uh, uh, uh, no, andit's funny, um, what was that?
(18:18):
That thing that went viral acouple years ago about uh, lady
gaga, she was, oh, I had no,it's yeah, whatever that was, uh
, there could be 100 people in aroom, and all you need is just
one yes, yes yes but baby, yeah,give me the 99, so it make me
excited about the one.
Yeah, yes, I'm sorry I'm justgetting to his cousin um, yes,
(18:40):
when give me that yes of of,after them knows, and I it, it's
.
It's a part of saying that iswhat is meant for me, I, I.
I saw a dear friend andcolleague she just put on her
her social media about sayinglike, because when you try to
force one of those no and Idon't know if you've ever been
(19:03):
in a project being like why am Ihere?
These people are not for me,these people don't see me, these
people don't value me.
So I was like, actually, whenyou, when you going to, yeah, so
if it is a no, god bless,whoever got that gig, because
maybe I'm not supposed to be ormaybe it's better meant for
somebody else to be a part ofthat.
(19:24):
Bro, low-key, I was like I, Idid actually say I was like they
tried to make me because.
But it, but it script wise.
It said 20s and I said thanky'all for still seeing it,
seeing it for your boy.
But I, I also was like um, um,a.
(19:51):
A dear friend of mine saidcalvin, look at the roles that
normally come your way.
You have portrayed like itgives you it low-key, that the
the things that are meant foryou, and that you look at the,
the resume and the roles and itkind of tells you information
right.
He said you'd normally playpeople who are in leadership I?
TJ (20:15):
I was going to interject and say that just being witness to
your social media feed, sinceI've met you at that random
motel audition, um, all of theroles that I've seen past your
feed have been these very stoiccharacters, which I enjoy
because I find myself in asimilar position that, like the
(20:36):
leadership is is, is oozing offof me.
And that I very much have thatenergy and yes authoritative
figure type of energy, and I hadnever encountered someone else
that I could see also doing that, because usually, especially in
the musical theater world, alot of us that exist in that
(21:00):
space, the people who book thosejobs or who go up for those
jobs, are the Norm Lewis's orthe mindset mitchell's like
those types of people and Ihadn't um met anyone else in
that like if we're like higharcing, you know the types of
roles in theater.
I had never met anyone in thatcircle with me so that was also
like beautiful to watch and likesee unfold in real time.
(21:21):
I was like huh.
I was like I really I need toget to know this man I need to
get to know, this man, because Ihave questions.
I.
I want to see more of this.
Calvin (21:29):
Yeah, I really appreciate that, but also
likewise, likewise, and when youjust, and again, I think that,
um, the other part, what we weretalking about, creative, uh,
identity, which goes to your ownidentity Once you know who you
are, because leadership does notis not always about being, yes,
(21:59):
authoritative and being able toexecute and see, authoritative
and and and being able to, um,execute and see, see, but also
there's a, like a bird's eyeview that that is important for
leadership.
There's kind of you have to seebig picture.
There's some times of beinglike I, I know how to stand back
and let other you know what I'msaying and hold space for
(22:20):
letting other people.
That is what real leadership isand I.
That is also losing off you.
That's what I I I just this uhpodcast, I bow down.
Uh is is a wonderful quality,so I know that is also
reflective in your work, thatyou know how to hold space right
(22:41):
.
Yeah, so, um, that that is whyI say that that, going back to
that particular audition, thatthat particular gig, I was like
god bless, because I was likethis role.
I don't know if this is me.
There's a lot of um, I don'tknow if it would, uh that
telling of that particular story.
I don't know if, like somebodywould really believe that
(23:04):
somebody's.
I don't know if, like somebodywould really believe that
somebody's barking at me.
I mean I say barking at me as anauthoritative way, because I
don't give yeah, yeah, that,yeah, no, I get it.
TJ (23:21):
Believe me, I get it, I get it right.
You gotta know who you are.
We talked about.
Calvin (23:25):
Yeah, um it's, it's the knowing who you are, anyway,
yeah this is great, I um andthis is good.
TJ (23:33):
This tea is great, thank you yes, um, also, I love that
everyone has been like lovingthe tea selection.
Make sure to follow oninstagram to get those.
Uh, but, yeah, you, you broughtup, um, this kind of like
subtopic that we had discussedbefore, so I just want to bring
that to the table too of thiswhole idea of figuring out your
(23:55):
creative identity, what thatmeans and what that looks like
for you and I think you kind ofjust touched on it for yourself,
um, but I'm curious to know,like, what does that?
In really standing in yourtruth as a creative and knowing
your, your worth, your value,your position in the world, what
power or authority does thatgive you when you walk into well
(24:29):
, knowing my worth and knowingwho I am, um, and I've gotten it
used to um, it used to botherme.
Calvin (24:37):
I, early on in my career , I'll, I'll say like an
audition.
Literally, it is such a spacethere are no, you cannot tell
certain factors, whether you'retoo tall, too short, to this, to
that, um, I used to um, I had a, I have a mentor who would say
you know, um, you know in the,in the art form, you know
(25:03):
instrumentalists, people whoplay instruments, they can take
their instrument and put it in acase when your instrument is
this, you, we take theinstrument into the space, but
then when we leave the space,it's like I'm still the
instrument and so you don't knowhow to compartmentalize right
(25:25):
the time to take the criticism,um, personal, so, um, but I've
been better with learning how tofocus, say, still instrument,
(25:45):
but I'm also going to sayinstrument and I'm I'm going to
give you the work and this isthe work that I've worked on,
and I get to also, uh, be anartist and I get to tell a story
on today and, um, whether youlike this story or not, it it?
That has nothing to do with me,whether you like it or not.
(26:06):
Uh, jesse norman.
There was a a clip that wasgoing viral of about critiquing
criticism, um, and someone wasasking well, how do you deal
with, you know, people who arereviewers and stuff like that?
She was like what?
what do I put in her grandgrandeur?
(26:27):
She said uh what do I?
Care for someone who comes inand they've not even paid for
their ticket.
Uh, and they come in and theycan take this one night, this
one experience, and then I waslike that's so real is like that
this is this moment in time andthat you are getting to be in
(26:47):
this experience with me and sure, whether you like it or not,
that that's neither here northere, but like it's the, the
truth, yeah, of the I can onlyshow up in all 100 who I am in
that day, in that moment, inthat time, in my truth and
authenticity, whether you likeit or not, that's not, that's
not up to me.
TJ (27:07):
That's very true and that's something that I have been
realizing over the years.
The longer that I'm in thisindustry and doing this on a
day-to-day basis it is it's soimperative to know who you are
before you walk into that room,because and I was just having a
conversation with somebody aboutthis the other day about how,
(27:28):
yes, you're going in there toput a character on right, like
you were putting this characteron my clothes and presenting
this work in this audition or ifyou're doing a show eight times
a week or whatever it is but ifyou don't know who you are
before you do all of that,there's going to be some blurred
lines, right.
Some of that stuff can seepinto your own life.
(27:49):
You can start to pick up someof those habits from that
character.
Like there was a.
There was a show that I didcalled murder ballad.
Back in what was that?
2017, I think it was and Iplayed an alcoholic and uh, sure
enough, because I was notprepared for that show.
(28:09):
That was the first time I hadever done it.
It it was a musical.
It was like a four-personmusical.
Some of that stuff that washappening at the show started to
seep in for me, and this wasbefore I was really in a place
where I was like oh, I have tobe aware, I have to be conscious
, I have to be protective of meso that I can put on this person
(28:34):
but then also release them andlet them go.
Yes, because that wholeexperience was there.
I went through a whole bottleof whiskey.
Yeah.
Like within a matter of two daysafter the show had finished,
and it wasn't even.
It wasn't a thing where, like Iwas like becoming an alcoholic
but because of the show, likehaving to constantly, just it
(28:58):
became second nature.
And so when I got home and Iwas like, oh wait, I'm doing
this in my real life.
I need to put this down likethis is not, this is not me.
This is not me.
This is tom, this is not me.
So I feel like sometimes youhave to make sure that, like,
you are fully aligned and youare fully protected and taken
care of in some of those moments.
(29:22):
You also said something.
I'm trying to go back to itbecause I thought it was perfect
and it was so juicy.
You mentioned something and Iwant to get a read on.
You mentioned something and Iwant to get a read on.
So, in dealing with rejectionin the outside world and really
knowing who you are in yourposition in the outside world,
what, what does that look liketo you?
Because I think we'veestablished and kind of figured
(29:43):
out the entry point of like anartist and that perspective of
like working in and living inthat, but how do you protect
yourself, like in the outsideworld just as a black man.
Because I feel like that is awhole separate thing than like
walking into a performance space.
Calvin (30:00):
Sure, how do I protect myself?
Yeah, and it's funny that youwas just even speaking about as
an artist when the lines are sothere's like audition spaces and
(30:25):
then there's like actual, whenyou book the gig.
You're doing a gig and so I'mkind of lumping all of it into
the one.
But again, I have learned overtime to like I said that
(30:46):
grounding in that meditationpractice, and so I can go back
to one being me, one being me,and to say, oh, this is who I am
, and really ask myself thosequestions and say what is your?
(31:11):
Why?
for being here today what it,what, what, what, um?
What makes you happy?
Why?
Why am I?
Why am I here to tell thisstory?
And especially also as a you Ilove that you just brought up um
being a black man.
I think that being a black manand an artist and one who do
(31:34):
theater, that because theindustry will really try to.
If you don't know who you are,they will really try to make you
be a monolith.
And it's like I have manydifferent colors, I have many
different things and it's like Ihave many different colors.
I have many different things,but also I, I it's funny I when
(32:05):
was that?
That was about a year ago thatI had one particular, and it's
funny I.
People have to go back and dodo the digging because
everything that's come I'm oneof those.
I've had a debate with um, myreps.
(32:26):
yes, that um you know, um, I waslike I, I, I sometimes I'm sick
, I sit with certain, certainpieces and that sometimes
everything that's commercial oreverything that like it doesn't,
just because it's commercialand just because it's a hit
don't mean it resonates with me.
(32:47):
That's true, that is true.
And, um, there's been somestuff and I, and there's been um
, I won't say I'm on podcast.
Maybe one day when I got big,big bucks I can, yeah, be like a
, um elaine stretch and just saywhat the hell, I want to say.
But um, but uh, one particularshow that's very popular to the
(33:15):
masses and I was like, ooh, Idon't know what that is, but for
me, vibrationally, I was likeit's a no for me, dog is this
already yes?
And so then it came across myaudition queue and I was like
was like wait, I've never, I'venot seen said show.
(33:40):
But my peers certain peers whoI highly respect I kind of
bounced it off of them and itwas like it didn't sit well with
me and I was like, okay, butthen I sat, and then I went and
sat and looked at the materialmyself and I was like what I
have to do?
TJ (34:01):
and I said no, and I'm curious, I feel like.
Calvin (34:04):
I feel like I know what show this is, but we'll have a
conversation offline but yes,but so, yeah, so, and don't get
me wrong like there's somethings that I think that you can
, you can tell certain storiesum that because and it's
interesting, especially as umagain, black creators, black
(34:26):
artists, some people may evensay like, oh, why do you want to
tell certain stories?
um, that is like, here we go,slavery, um, I, I, I'm.
I am not one of those beinglike that, say like, oh, don't
portray a slave.
Or um, because we are literallyin a time where they're trying
to erase our history, thatthey're removing certain things
(34:49):
from my history books.
So, again, I'm not not that weneed to always portray um, uh,
servants and and people, but um,um, what does excite me?
and uh, if there's a soft pitchout there is uh, please somebody
write a nat turner's rebellionpiece for me.
(35:11):
Hello somebody, look that.
Come shake the table a littlebit.
TJ (35:15):
You know what I mean I have.
I have thoughts and questionsabout that, but yes, yes, but
I'm saying of like to tell.
Calvin (35:20):
Let's tell that story right, because how do you get to
uh, uh, what was, uh, uh, whatwas the thing august 5th a year
ago, uh, where they would hitthe, the chairs, oh, yeah
alabama, whatever, wherever thatwas anyway check this out so
you know your history, and so,anyway, all I mean by that is
(35:45):
you have to know who you are andknow what kind of stories you
want to tell.
Unless you, then you'll havethem, and I say them, and the
powers that be they'll try tomake you and mold you into
probably somebody, somebody whoyou don't want to be yeah, I
agree.
TJ (36:00):
I agree because there's there's definitely been a few
moments where and we've had, wehad this conversation before we
started where, um, there arecertain things as a performer
and I am not I'm not ashamed orafraid to say this out loud, but
there are certain things that Idon't want to do because I know
that they are not for me, andit's like we spoke earlier about
(36:22):
how you will know what rolesare right for you.
Yeah.
I had a friend years ago when Ifirst moved here and I was
trying to pick his brain.
I was like you know what, whatpick his brain.
And I was like you know what,what, like how, what should I be
going after?
Like, how do, how do I know?
And all of this stuff becausein in the training program, like
they throw everything at you,they're like you can do anything
(36:43):
, but the reality is that, no,you can't, um, and that's okay,
and sometimes you don't want todo everything and that's okay,
um, yes, it is um.
But I was having thisconversation with a friend like
very early in my in my time inNew York and he told me
something that still resonateswith me today.
He said I was like well, how doyou know if, like, a role is
(37:05):
right for you?
And blah blah, he was like itwill fit like a glove.
Yeah, he was like you'll know,like you will read the material,
you were singing the song orwhatever it is and it will fit,
like you, you absolutely know.
And then, thinking about all ofthe roles that I've had, all of
them fit extremely well likeextremely well, yeah, um, like,
(37:25):
even I was having a conversationwith someone this week on the
podcast about my time, uh, someof this week on the podcast
about my time, uh, as caiaphasand jesus christ superstar, and
I remember in that audition roomthere were it was me and two
other guys, one of which whobecame my roommate, um, later on
on the show.
Calvin (37:43):
But in looking at them I was like, no, this is, this is
mine like and not in in anegotistical way, but in looking
in the room and being where Iwas in that moment in time, I
was like, no, this is for me itfits yeah no, no, go go when
(38:06):
it's for you, like you said,that it accentuates you, when it
even you saying it fits like aglove, like when you know
something that is form fittedfor you, it shows you off in the
best light, right, and you,just you just triggered a memory
of very early on in my career.
(38:28):
I did a production of rentcareer.
I did a production of rent and,um, with some people who are
doing extremely well in theircareers right now.
Um I played Benny and um.
Again, I, I've always I, yes, I, I musical theater, but I've
(38:54):
always considered myself alittle bit more present.
I love the scene work, I lovethe acting work, so I commend
those who are like musical,musical theater heads.
But so I was present because Iwas really asking.
To be so young and doing thatrole of Benny, I was really
(39:14):
asking questions, even maybebeing so audacious to I'm trying
to make it my own.
Not until hindsight it helpedme realize, oh, this particular
production, me realize, oh, thisparticular production.
(39:39):
He, the director, after thatparticular gig, was carbon
copying the, the recent broadway, and so I was literally um,
asking for one of the, the bennyscenes.
I think it was maybe thefuneral scene, and I think I, I,
it was like um, I was asking.
I said um, he, he gave me adirection of like go from here
(40:03):
to go from the x place, and Iwas like, can I try?
I was like I just asked can Itry this, or can I like I was?
I was asking my wife right orasking about come on the lesson,
the lesson about me beoperating in space, right, yeah?
And he said, do it, because Itold you to do it.
(40:25):
Like how dare you ask me?
And I just remember that was sotraumatic for me as a again.
I think I was like young, young.
Two or three years later I gotto work on my first, august
Wilson piece and I got to workwith one of my dear mentors,
(40:49):
clinton Turner Davis.
one of my dear mentors, clintonturner davis.
He's old school, like blacktheater and um, uh, come out of
the negro ensemble company andlike just a brilliant visionary
director.
One of I've learned so much, somuch, so much, um, when it
(41:11):
comes to being an artist fromhim, when it comes to being an
artist for them.
And he said, and I rememberworking on that process and he
said I encourage you to askquestions, your value in the
room like yeah, ask, and I waslike wow.
So this experience traumatizedme.
I was like I'm literally askingyou about across across states,
(41:34):
and yet this other space issaying you are worthy to be here
and, yes, ask all the questions.
And that's what you're supposedto do, oh my gosh, I love that.
TJ (41:45):
I love that.
I'm like I just there's so manystories and so many instances
where I just I feel like peoplehave not really give people,
people have misled artists intothinking that it is an open
space and it hasn't actuallybeen an open space and being in
(42:06):
certain rooms and being toldyeah.
I want you to make choices.
I want, I want you to you know,come to me with questions and
let's, let's collaborate, andthen you find out shortly after
that it is not a collaborationit's a dictatorship.
Calvin (42:24):
Yeah, yeah, yeah I love that.
TJ (42:26):
I love that you've you've had an experience where it was
actually a collaboration, acollaboration early on.
Calvin (42:32):
Yes, I think again one of those.
I think it happened like 25.
I was 25, the first one, thenthe next one, I think that was
27, 28 and then, but again,knowing your 20s or your
formative year, you don't knowwho the hell you are.
But then you having somebodywho in a in an artistic space
having a dictatorship, and it'slike in an artistic space having
(42:56):
a dictatorship and it's likewho, who am I, who do I?
Do I get to?
And it's like it took me years,I think not into my early 30s,
when I I enter you, I youhearing you today ask kind of
pointed questions about it's thework before you get to the room
, you said.
And when you enter into thespace, not until, like, I hit
like about 30 mm-hmm.
I said, oh, this is who I ambefore I enter into this space
(43:19):
and I have value, I get here,mm-hmm and I had.
TJ (43:23):
Truthfully, I feel like that has been since being on the
other side of 30.
I'm 35 now.
Yeah, that has been the placethat I've been able to operate
from and I feel so much morepresent in the room.
I feel like I'm not holding onto stuff as much as I used to
when I was in my 20s.
I had had a conversation thisweek about the tools that I use
(43:45):
to kind of like let go ofwhatever happens in there, and
it very much came from a classthat I took and the teacher
saying to just find whateverworks for you.
But I essentially used to, whenwe used to do paper sides,
would take the sides after theaudition, rip them up and throw
them in the trash.
Calvin (44:04):
Yeah, yeah, just leave it there.
TJ (44:05):
And I'm like this is where I'm leaving this, so I can go
about my day and whateverhappens will happen, and I don't
have to hold on to this.
I don't have to carry thisaround with me all day.
Calvin (44:15):
You're reminding me to throw away my sides from
yesterday.
TJ (44:20):
So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you
for doing this.
Thank you, this has beenamazing.
Where can the folks find you?
Calvin (44:29):
Folks can find me on you Google my name.
Yes, you can find me onwwwCalvinMThompsoncom.
Also, my social media isMrMRC-A-L-L-Y-c-a-l.
(44:51):
Mr calicab on instagram, andthose are my platform.
TJ (44:56):
I love it so before we go, I'd like to do this thing called
the last three, three questionsunrelated to the topic, just to
give our folks a little bit ofknowledge.
So first question where do youfind the most peace?
Calvin (45:17):
God.
So first question where do youfind the most peace?
God, but also God is we weretalking about it a little bit
before God to me does not looklike the traditional sense.
TJ (45:35):
God to me looks like going on a hike and going upstate in
the woods.
Calvin (45:39):
Yes, yes, yes.
Sitting by a lake, yeah, god tome looks like sitting by the
ocean and just listening to thewaves.
God to me looks like enjoyingapplesauce on a Friday night,
because that's one of myfavorite foods.
You know what I'm saying?
It's like tapping into thethings.
(46:01):
That is not necessarilyanything based on the person or
a space outside of me, but it'smore so me finding those I can.
At any time I can bring thosefeelings and what it's like to
(46:21):
be.
I could close my eyes and be inthat space, if that makes sense
.
TJ (46:27):
Where do you find joy in the world?
Calvin (46:31):
Community.
I find joy in my friends, myfamily, my niece.
I miss my niece.
I find joy in music.
TJ (46:43):
Love it.
And then last question how doyou practice gratitude?
Calvin (47:10):
How do I find practice, practice?
How do I practice gratitude?
Oh, I just look to everythingthat is present.
One when I wake up in themorning and my feet hit the
floor, god, thank you, um, to behere.
And then I just start if I cansee it, and I, I, I, and also if
I'm reminded of it, um, I'mjust like thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
(47:30):
I, I don't, I'm just like thankyou, thank you, thank you,
thank you, I don't.
The scripture that speaks abouthaving a thousand tongues.
You know, I don't think there'senough.
I'm wording that wrong.
I don't think that, when youreally look at abundance, the
(47:59):
enormity of abundance of thingslike even this time, in this
space, right here, right now,there's so much to be grateful
for.
I've been so filled, our cupshave been filled in such a
reciprocal way, in such areciprocal way.
So it's just the present bringsme gratitude.
TJ (48:20):
Yeah, thank you, thank you, thank you for this.
And with that, friends, I willsee you next week and that's our
show.
Friends, thanks for joining uson Tea with TJ.
Please rate, review andsubscribe, and you can find us
on Instagram at Tea with TJPodcast.
(48:41):
And, as always, stay kind, keepsipping and remember we're here
, so we might as well do it.
Hey friends, it's TJ, and you're listening to Tea with TJ,
where our love for tea,conversation and
self-improvement intersect.
So let's take a deeper diveinto my cup and let's have a
chat.
Hey friends, it's TJ.
Welcome back to another episodeof Tea with TJ, and today I
(00:39):
have Calvin Thompson.
Yes, I just realized also thatthis is, I think, the second
time we've encountered eachother.
Calvin (00:49):
Literally Overdue yeah.
TJ (00:54):
A long time.
Calvin (00:56):
Welcome to the pod.
I'm so happy to be here.
I'm so happy to have you.
TJ (01:01):
So quickly for our folks listening and watching.
Can you just tell us your story?
Calvin (01:07):
Sure, so I am originally from Aiken, south Carolina.
We just realized we're bothSouth Carolinian, so hey, cousin
.
Yeah originally, but also bornin Augusta Georgia.
Yeah, originally, but also bornin Augusta Georgia.
So born on the c likekindergarten doing like reading
(01:32):
poetry and stuff out loud, andthen anytime I got to open my
(01:56):
mouth in a choir or somethinglike that.
I was like, yeah, yeah, musicand all the things.
And not until college did Irealize I wanted to actually
pursue a career in the arts.
So say, my sophomore year incollege, I booked my first
(02:16):
professional theater job working.
So I started working then, andmoved to New York.
I was about 24.
Yeah, yeah, went to AMDA, umand um did that route and I've
been in New York ever since.
I did uh about um a good 11years here, went out west, did
(02:42):
la to right before, literally ayear before pandemic, because I
was like and so you know, it'sjust like rolling, rolling with
the punches rolling.
But uh, life brought me backhere, back to good old, in my
sea, and so I've been back, uhsince 2022, gotcha Nice and
(03:02):
that's been my journey to like,just this kind of nomadically
finding myself as an artist.
I love that.
TJ (03:13):
Yeah, I was just having a conversation with a friend the
other day and I mentioned thatto them because I was saying how
I think in my adult life I'verealized that I would consider
myself very nomadic.
Yeah, that I'm totally okay tolive out of a suitcase and just
kind of exist and floatingthrough, you know, through the
country or through the world.
(03:33):
I love that.
Yeah, I am curious about twothings before we jump in,
because just thinking about yourstory and I'm like this is the
connective tissue.
So you went to amda and I thinkthis is how we got connected.
I remember our first encounterwas at the motown audition.
(03:57):
Uh, and back in the day forthat first national tour, back
in the day for that firstnational tour.
Yeah, oh my, my, my yes, yes,yes uh and um, I was there with
my friend kiari at the time andthat's how we got introduced and
, yeah, um, and I think wefollowed each other on social
(04:19):
media really after that becauseI feel like I've known, I've
known I, not I feel.
Calvin (04:23):
I know that I've known you for years.
TJ (04:26):
But even in that moment I felt like I've known you, like,
even though that was the firsttime we've met.
I feel like there was somethingthere and as I'm getting to
know more about you andencounter you more, things are
starting to just make sense.
Because even the subject thingI'm like, that's what it is,
that's exactly what it is sowhen we were talking about
(04:51):
topics for the episode today, um, the thing that kind of like
stuck out to you the most wasthe rejection, um.
So I'm curious to know from youwhat does, what does rejection
look like, both in yourprofessional life as an actor,
but also maybe like in your likeeveryday life, like outside
life?
Calvin (05:12):
what does rejection look like in my professional life
and in my everyday life?
Well, um, you know, thisindustry is not, um, an easy
industry.
Uh, you know, I've.
(05:33):
I have quite a um, quite a bitof people that I don't.
And I don't know if you ever getthose questions that are like,
um, in no shade to anyone whohas done this, but like random
folk, that'll be like, hey, Iknow somebody, either my son or
my daughter, um or or so, and sois like I've never acted before
(05:56):
and I just want to take a.
You know, and I'm like okay,but do you really know what
you're signing yourself up for?
And you know, I think that I'mgoing to go backwards.
Personally, I think that youknow, no matter where you are
(06:19):
from geographically, sayingwe're coming from the South,
right, black men coming from theSouth, right, black men coming
from the South.
So there's already that of um,what this country has kind of
tried to put on us, right and um, trying to find out who we are
(06:42):
with our own identity, but thento say, oh, you can't do that
you can't be that.
And I it's funny enough, um, I'mgetting into the rejection but
also the acceptance part.
Like I remember I was workingon um a tour, the first tour
(07:04):
that I won, one of the onlytours I had done, but it was
around 2008 and that was when,barack Obama, you know what I'm
saying, and I remember I was theonly black man in my cast.
It was a very short cast, but Ijust remember standing in the
middle of my hotel room and Iwas just like filled with so
(07:26):
much pride and I was like, wow,this is the first time I've seen
that kind of tangible, tangibleevidence that of what I could
be more to.
Again going back to theindustry and then tell you, okay
(07:47):
, well, we see you as this, wesee you as that, and now you
have to see, you have to knowwhat the vision is for your life
.
You have to often, and eventhis right here is like the
closing of your eyes.
So that way, what seeing whatyou see for your life?
let me do I statements I seefrom my own life and so that way
(08:10):
you know, I've, I've, it's beentough you know sometimes when,
um, you really want certainthings or you really want
certain jobs, and I think thatlife is kind of life and
(08:32):
experience has taught me to it'sin the it's, in the relaxation
and the release of knowing whoyou are and trusting in all the
cosmic and the Divine movementthat what is meant for you will
(08:52):
be for you.
Um, I was literally working ona gig.
um, um, today's friday, saturday, yes uh, thursday and um, and
they were uh, some of theco-workers on that.
This particular project wastalking about this state.
(09:19):
She was from kansas and she wastalking about.
The pastor at the church thatshe came from was um.
They were kind of up in age andthey always wanted a child and
one of their members had um.
Unfortunately, um had uh beenraped and and had a child out of
(09:40):
rape.
But anyway, long so short.
The blessing in that thathorrible circumstance was that
she gave her child to the pastorand the wife, um, but in the
desiring of wanting a child fortheir own self, in that moment
(10:02):
they themselves were able toconceive and it was like, and it
was like, ah well, what is that?
Why do um, especially sometimeswith women?
And being like saying, when youyour ability to conceive, you
know what I'm saying?
It's like it's when your bodyis in a relaxed state and you've
(10:23):
let go of the thing and it'slike.
TJ (10:26):
So I was like ah, life, I hear you, I hear you, I hear you
, god.
No, no, it's interestingbecause I am, it's it's so.
I mentioned this to you beforewe started recording, but this
week I have been um recordingepisodes for this season every
day since wednesday and today's,saturday, um, and it's been
very interesting that everyguest that I've had thus far has
(10:49):
brought into the conversationthis kind of like spiritual
connection, or divineintervention, or divinity, and
how to achieve the things thatyou want out of life in your
connection to those things, tothose two things.
Um, because even just yesterdaywith stacy, who recorded um
(11:12):
which I don't know where this isgonna fall, but make sure you
watch our episode um, she wassaying the exact same thing.
So, and I love that, like, evenin this moment, things are still
somehow, you know, connected umwith this idea of trying to
align yourself with the thingsthat you want and desire.
(11:33):
Um, in in kind of holding spacefor the rejection piece too.
Yeah, where, where do you thinkyou fall?
Or like, what are some toolsthat are helpful for you when
dealing with, like, rejectionprofessionally?
Calvin (11:54):
I am literally currently going through a season, a
season I was telling tj beforewe started that, um, it's been a
very, it's a very interestingseason right now because, um, I
don't know if I yeah, maybe it'sthe delulu right now that's
(12:15):
telling me.
That's fair, that I wasn't,that I wasn't rejected, but it's
been.
I I guess I'm looking at it asdelay or like whatever.
But yes, the the tools that umI use is, uh, grounding, um
meditation, grounding andmeditation is a huge grounding,
(12:37):
meditation and prayer, so that'sa spiritual practice in itself
that I feel like I hold formyself.
I always try to, if I don't doit daily, I try to at least tap
in like four or five times aweek, but just to every morning
come back to gratitude and mywhy and putting my feet on the
(12:58):
ground and saying like, okay,this is where I'm at today and
this is what I have control overat today and this is what I
have control over and everythingelse I yield over to, um, my
belief.
I believe in god, so that thatis my belief system.
Um, I also I'm a heavy believerin community.
(13:21):
So, knowing that I havecommunity and that brings me
balance and I often I'mbeginning better with that piece
, that tool, to say, you knowwhat?
Because when I get so tightabout, oh, I'm supposed to be
(13:45):
there, I was supposed to be hereby now and that particular
project was supposed to be mineit's like I get pulled back to
the present with laughter andlove and just being like be
present with people who aretrying to love on me.
I was having a moment yesterdaythat I was looking at an old
(14:10):
Chadwick Boseman interview andhe said something along the
lines of love and you, the?
(14:30):
He said I always, um, I I'mbrought back to not necessarily
feeling like.
I need to feel loved, but likeor not not not feel loved, but I
need to love on people.
I need to love on.
That brings me back to beingpresent and he's like you know I
don't he at that time he wasspeaking that he didn't have the
traditional like wife and kids,family thing, but he was like I
have cousins, I have like Ilove on, and if that is a
(14:51):
driving force for me to be likeI need to love you, so I think
that fills up our cup, yeah, andand replenishes us in such a
way where you know, um, becausethere's no, there's no formula
and there's no, sometimes youcould, you could not know why
(15:16):
certain things go.
Literally I went on theaudition, say, about a month ago
now.
It was one of my firstin-persons, uh, this year and,
um, literally I was like I feltgood about it because I went to
the audition and I think I knewthe art well, not I think I knew
I did know the um, the directorwho was an associate artistic
(15:42):
director of, uh, this particulartheater.
I feel like I'm puttingbusiness out there.
It's fine, right, it's fine.
Anyway, I went into thisaudition and I feel like I
killed it and I and they, theyknew, um, they kind of had me on
(16:11):
their peripheral of like what Ihad been doing over the past
year.
Um, they knew like I'm on holdfor something coming up this
fall.
So I was like, yeah, and thisparticular project would have
went right before said gig.
So I was like, oh, yes, please,uh, booking behind booking and
(16:33):
I've been praying for that.
I've been current praying forbeing booked back to back.
But then, um, so I did theaudition.
It felt there was like reallygood work, can we make some
adjustments?
Did the adjustments?
Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.
Then she said okay great, callback tomorrow.
Are you available tomorrow, askme.
I said yeah, see you tomorrow.
(16:53):
I said I'm on a joke.
I love it.
I love it.
So I left and went home, went onabout my day, had me a merry
old day, and I'm on my phone,boop, boop, Checking email Boop
boop Boop, just refreshing Boopyeah.
(17:14):
Boop 12 o'clock.
Boop 8 am next day.
Boop 10 am next day.
Boop 5 pm next day.
Boop 10 am next day.
Boop 5 pm next day Boop.
I said, oh oh, it's a no Y'all,randy Jackson, me it was a no
dog, okay.
(17:34):
Randy Jackson Got you rightyeah.
Yeah, okay, ouch, but I was like, but I again, maybe that, maybe
that's the, the delulu that Ihave.
I was like you know what it?
It wasn't meant for me andagain I I maybe that's just my
(17:57):
perspective of saying, speakingabout a light it goes hand in
hand.
I think that rejection andalignment you can't, you, you
can't have, um, you can't haveuh, one without the other, right
, um, yes, uh, uh, uh, no, andit's funny, um, what was that?
(18:18):
That thing that went viral acouple years ago about uh, lady
gaga, she was, oh, I had no,it's yeah, whatever that was, uh
, there could be 100 people in aroom, and all you need is just
one yes, yes yes but baby, yeah,give me the 99, so it make me
excited about the one.
Yeah, yes, I'm sorry I'm justgetting to his cousin um, yes,
(18:40):
when give me that yes of of,after them knows, and I it, it's
.
It's a part of saying that iswhat is meant for me, I, I.
I saw a dear friend andcolleague she just put on her
her social media about sayinglike, because when you try to
force one of those no and Idon't know if you've ever been
(19:03):
in a project being like why am Ihere?
These people are not for me,these people don't see me, these
people don't value me.
So I was like, actually, whenyou, when you going to, yeah, so
if it is a no, god bless,whoever got that gig, because
maybe I'm not supposed to be ormaybe it's better meant for
somebody else to be a part ofthat.
(19:24):
Bro, low-key, I was like I, Idid actually say I was like they
tried to make me because.
But it, but it script wise.
It said 20s and I said thanky'all for still seeing it,
seeing it for your boy.
But I, I also was like um, um,a.
(19:51):
A dear friend of mine saidcalvin, look at the roles that
normally come your way.
You have portrayed like itgives you it low-key, that the
the things that are meant foryou, and that you look at the,
the resume and the roles and itkind of tells you information
right.
He said you'd normally playpeople who are in leadership I?
TJ (20:15):
I was going to interject and say that just being witness to
your social media feed, sinceI've met you at that random
motel audition, um, all of theroles that I've seen past your
feed have been these very stoiccharacters, which I enjoy
because I find myself in asimilar position that, like the
(20:36):
leadership is is, is oozing offof me.
And that I very much have thatenergy and yes authoritative
figure type of energy, and I hadnever encountered someone else
that I could see also doing that, because usually, especially in
the musical theater world, alot of us that exist in that
(21:00):
space, the people who book thosejobs or who go up for those
jobs, are the Norm Lewis's orthe mindset mitchell's like
those types of people and Ihadn't um met anyone else in
that like if we're like higharcing, you know the types of
roles in theater.
I had never met anyone in thatcircle with me so that was also
like beautiful to watch and likesee unfold in real time.
(21:21):
I was like huh.
I was like I really I need toget to know this man I need to
get to know, this man, because Ihave questions.
I.
I want to see more of this.
Calvin (21:29):
Yeah, I really appreciate that, but also
likewise, likewise, and when youjust, and again, I think that,
um, the other part, what we weretalking about, creative, uh,
identity, which goes to your ownidentity Once you know who you
are, because leadership does notis not always about being, yes,
(21:59):
authoritative and being able toexecute and see, authoritative
and and and being able to, um,execute and see, see, but also
there's a, like a bird's eyeview that that is important for
leadership.
There's kind of you have to seebig picture.
There's some times of beinglike I, I know how to stand back
and let other you know what I'msaying and hold space for
(22:20):
letting other people.
That is what real leadership isand I.
That is also losing off you.
That's what I I I just this uhpodcast, I bow down.
Uh is is a wonderful quality,so I know that is also
reflective in your work, thatyou know how to hold space right
(22:41):
.
Yeah, so, um, that that is whyI say that that, going back to
that particular audition, thatthat particular gig, I was like
god bless, because I was likethis role.
I don't know if this is me.
There's a lot of um, I don'tknow if it would, uh that
telling of that particular story.
I don't know if, like somebodywould really believe that
(23:04):
somebody's.
I don't know if, like somebodywould really believe that
somebody's barking at me.
I mean I say barking at me as anauthoritative way, because I
don't give yeah, yeah, that,yeah, no, I get it.
TJ (23:21):
Believe me, I get it, I get it right.
You gotta know who you are.
We talked about.
Calvin (23:25):
Yeah, um it's, it's the knowing who you are, anyway,
yeah this is great, I um andthis is good.
TJ (23:33):
This tea is great, thank you yes, um, also, I love that
everyone has been like lovingthe tea selection.
Make sure to follow oninstagram to get those.
Uh, but, yeah, you, you broughtup, um, this kind of like
subtopic that we had discussedbefore, so I just want to bring
that to the table too of thiswhole idea of figuring out your
(23:55):
creative identity, what thatmeans and what that looks like
for you and I think you kind ofjust touched on it for yourself,
um, but I'm curious to know,like, what does that?
In really standing in yourtruth as a creative and knowing
your, your worth, your value,your position in the world, what
power or authority does thatgive you when you walk into well
(24:29):
, knowing my worth and knowingwho I am, um, and I've gotten it
used to um, it used to botherme.
Calvin (24:37):
I, early on in my career , I'll, I'll say like an
audition.
Literally, it is such a spacethere are no, you cannot tell
certain factors, whether you'retoo tall, too short, to this, to
that, um, I used to um, I had a, I have a mentor who would say
you know, um, you know in the,in the art form, you know
(25:03):
instrumentalists, people whoplay instruments, they can take
their instrument and put it in acase when your instrument is
this, you, we take theinstrument into the space, but
then when we leave the space,it's like I'm still the
instrument and so you don't knowhow to compartmentalize right
(25:25):
the time to take the criticism,um, personal, so, um, but I've
been better with learning how tofocus, say, still instrument,
(25:45):
but I'm also going to sayinstrument and I'm I'm going to
give you the work and this isthe work that I've worked on,
and I get to also, uh, be anartist and I get to tell a story
on today and, um, whether youlike this story or not, it it?
That has nothing to do with me,whether you like it or not.
(26:06):
Uh, jesse norman.
There was a a clip that wasgoing viral of about critiquing
criticism, um, and someone wasasking well, how do you deal
with, you know, people who arereviewers and stuff like that?
She was like what?
what do I put in her grandgrandeur?
(26:27):
She said uh what do I?
Care for someone who comes inand they've not even paid for
their ticket.
Uh, and they come in and theycan take this one night, this
one experience, and then I waslike that's so real is like that
this is this moment in time andthat you are getting to be in
(26:47):
this experience with me and sure, whether you like it or not,
that that's neither here northere, but like it's the, the
truth, yeah, of the I can onlyshow up in all 100 who I am in
that day, in that moment, inthat time, in my truth and
authenticity, whether you likeit or not, that's not, that's
not up to me.
TJ (27:07):
That's very true and that's something that I have been
realizing over the years.
The longer that I'm in thisindustry and doing this on a
day-to-day basis it is it's soimperative to know who you are
before you walk into that room,because and I was just having a
conversation with somebody aboutthis the other day about how,
(27:28):
yes, you're going in there toput a character on right, like
you were putting this characteron my clothes and presenting
this work in this audition or ifyou're doing a show eight times
a week or whatever it is but ifyou don't know who you are
before you do all of that,there's going to be some blurred
lines, right.
Some of that stuff can seepinto your own life.
(27:49):
You can start to pick up someof those habits from that
character.
Like there was a.
There was a show that I didcalled murder ballad.
Back in what was that?
2017, I think it was and Iplayed an alcoholic and uh, sure
enough, because I was notprepared for that show.
(28:09):
That was the first time I hadever done it.
It it was a musical.
It was like a four-personmusical.
Some of that stuff that washappening at the show started to
seep in for me, and this wasbefore I was really in a place
where I was like oh, I have tobe aware, I have to be conscious
, I have to be protective of meso that I can put on this person
(28:34):
but then also release them andlet them go.
Yes, because that wholeexperience was there.
I went through a whole bottleof whiskey.
Yeah.
Like within a matter of two daysafter the show had finished,
and it wasn't even.
It wasn't a thing where, like Iwas like becoming an alcoholic
but because of the show, likehaving to constantly, just it
(28:58):
became second nature.
And so when I got home and Iwas like, oh wait, I'm doing
this in my real life.
I need to put this down likethis is not, this is not me.
This is not me.
This is tom, this is not me.
So I feel like sometimes youhave to make sure that, like,
you are fully aligned and youare fully protected and taken
care of in some of those moments.
(29:22):
You also said something.
I'm trying to go back to itbecause I thought it was perfect
and it was so juicy.
You mentioned something and Iwant to get a read on.
You mentioned something and Iwant to get a read on.
So, in dealing with rejectionin the outside world and really
knowing who you are in yourposition in the outside world,
what, what does that look liketo you?
Because I think we'veestablished and kind of figured
(29:43):
out the entry point of like anartist and that perspective of
like working in and living inthat, but how do you protect
yourself, like in the outsideworld just as a black man.
Because I feel like that is awhole separate thing than like
walking into a performance space.
Calvin (30:00):
Sure, how do I protect myself?
Yeah, and it's funny that youwas just even speaking about as
an artist when the lines are sothere's like audition spaces and
(30:25):
then there's like actual, whenyou book the gig.
You're doing a gig and so I'mkind of lumping all of it into
the one.
But again, I have learned overtime to like I said that
(30:46):
grounding in that meditationpractice, and so I can go back
to one being me, one being me,and to say, oh, this is who I am
, and really ask myself thosequestions and say what is your?
(31:11):
Why?
for being here today what it,what, what, what, um?
What makes you happy?
Why?
Why am I?
Why am I here to tell thisstory?
And especially also as a you Ilove that you just brought up um
being a black man.
I think that being a black manand an artist and one who do
(31:34):
theater, that because theindustry will really try to.
If you don't know who you are,they will really try to make you
be a monolith.
And it's like I have manydifferent colors, I have many
different things and it's like Ihave many different colors.
I have many different things,but also I, I it's funny I when
(32:05):
was that?
That was about a year ago thatI had one particular, and it's
funny I.
People have to go back and dodo the digging because
everything that's come I'm oneof those.
I've had a debate with um, myreps.
(32:26):
yes, that um you know, um, I waslike I, I, I sometimes I'm sick
, I sit with certain, certainpieces and that sometimes
everything that's commercial oreverything that like it doesn't,
just because it's commercialand just because it's a hit
don't mean it resonates with me.
(32:47):
That's true, that is true.
And, um, there's been somestuff and I, and there's been um
, I won't say I'm on podcast.
Maybe one day when I got big,big bucks I can, yeah, be like a
, um elaine stretch and just saywhat the hell, I want to say.
But um, but uh, one particularshow that's very popular to the
(33:15):
masses and I was like, ooh, Idon't know what that is, but for
me, vibrationally, I was likeit's a no for me, dog is this
already yes?
And so then it came across myaudition queue and I was like
was like wait, I've never, I'venot seen said show.
(33:40):
But my peers certain peers whoI highly respect I kind of
bounced it off of them and itwas like it didn't sit well with
me and I was like, okay, butthen I sat, and then I went and
sat and looked at the materialmyself and I was like what I
have to do?
TJ (34:01):
and I said no, and I'm curious, I feel like.
Calvin (34:04):
I feel like I know what show this is, but we'll have a
conversation offline but yes,but so, yeah, so, and don't get
me wrong like there's somethings that I think that you can
, you can tell certain storiesum that because and it's
interesting, especially as umagain, black creators, black
(34:26):
artists, some people may evensay like, oh, why do you want to
tell certain stories?
um, that is like, here we go,slavery, um, I, I, I'm.
I am not one of those beinglike that, say like, oh, don't
portray a slave.
Or um, because we are literallyin a time where they're trying
to erase our history, thatthey're removing certain things
(34:49):
from my history books.
So, again, I'm not not that weneed to always portray um, uh,
servants and and people, but um,um, what does excite me?
and uh, if there's a soft pitchout there is uh, please somebody
write a nat turner's rebellionpiece for me.
(35:11):
Hello somebody, look that.
Come shake the table a littlebit.
TJ (35:15):
You know what I mean I have.
I have thoughts and questionsabout that, but yes, yes, but
I'm saying of like to tell.
Calvin (35:20):
Let's tell that story right, because how do you get to
uh, uh, what was, uh, uh, whatwas the thing august 5th a year
ago, uh, where they would hitthe, the chairs, oh, yeah
alabama, whatever, wherever thatwas anyway check this out so
you know your history, and so,anyway, all I mean by that is
(35:45):
you have to know who you are andknow what kind of stories you
want to tell.
Unless you, then you'll havethem, and I say them, and the
powers that be they'll try tomake you and mold you into
probably somebody, somebody whoyou don't want to be yeah, I
agree.
TJ (36:00):
I agree because there's there's definitely been a few
moments where and we've had, wehad this conversation before we
started where, um, there arecertain things as a performer
and I am not I'm not ashamed orafraid to say this out loud, but
there are certain things that Idon't want to do because I know
that they are not for me, andit's like we spoke earlier about
(36:22):
how you will know what rolesare right for you.
Yeah.
I had a friend years ago when Ifirst moved here and I was
trying to pick his brain.
I was like you know what, whatpick his brain.
And I was like you know what,what, like how, what should I be
going after?
Like, how do, how do I know?
And all of this stuff becausein in the training program, like
they throw everything at you,they're like you can do anything
(36:43):
, but the reality is that, no,you can't, um, and that's okay,
and sometimes you don't want todo everything and that's okay,
um, yes, it is um.
But I was having thisconversation with a friend like
very early in my in my time inNew York and he told me
something that still resonateswith me today.
He said I was like well, how doyou know if, like, a role is
(37:05):
right for you?
And blah blah, he was like itwill fit like a glove.
Yeah, he was like you'll know,like you will read the material,
you were singing the song orwhatever it is and it will fit,
like you, you absolutely know.
And then, thinking about all ofthe roles that I've had, all of
them fit extremely well likeextremely well, yeah, um, like,
(37:25):
even I was having a conversationwith someone this week on the
podcast about my time, uh, someof this week on the podcast
about my time, uh, as caiaphasand jesus christ superstar, and
I remember in that audition roomthere were it was me and two
other guys, one of which whobecame my roommate, um, later on
on the show.
Calvin (37:43):
But in looking at them I was like, no, this is, this is
mine like and not in in anegotistical way, but in looking
in the room and being where Iwas in that moment in time, I
was like, no, this is for me itfits yeah no, no, go go when
(38:06):
it's for you, like you said,that it accentuates you, when it
even you saying it fits like aglove, like when you know
something that is form fittedfor you, it shows you off in the
best light, right, and you,just you just triggered a memory
of very early on in my career.
(38:28):
I did a production of rentcareer.
I did a production of rent and,um, with some people who are
doing extremely well in theircareers right now.
Um I played Benny and um.
Again, I, I've always I, yes, I, I musical theater, but I've
(38:54):
always considered myself alittle bit more present.
I love the scene work, I lovethe acting work, so I commend
those who are like musical,musical theater heads.
But so I was present because Iwas really asking.
To be so young and doing thatrole of Benny, I was really
(39:14):
asking questions, even maybebeing so audacious to I'm trying
to make it my own.
Not until hindsight it helpedme realize, oh, this particular
production, me realize, oh, thisparticular production.
(39:39):
He, the director, after thatparticular gig, was carbon
copying the, the recent broadway, and so I was literally um,
asking for one of the, the bennyscenes.
I think it was maybe thefuneral scene, and I think I, I,
it was like um, I was asking.
I said um, he, he gave me adirection of like go from here
(40:03):
to go from the x place, and Iwas like, can I try?
I was like I just asked can Itry this, or can I like I was?
I was asking my wife right orasking about come on the lesson,
the lesson about me beoperating in space, right, yeah?
And he said, do it, because Itold you to do it.
(40:25):
Like how dare you ask me?
And I just remember that was sotraumatic for me as a again.
I think I was like young, young.
Two or three years later I gotto work on my first, august
Wilson piece and I got to workwith one of my dear mentors,
(40:49):
clinton Turner Davis.
one of my dear mentors, clintonturner davis.
He's old school, like blacktheater and um, uh, come out of
the negro ensemble company andlike just a brilliant visionary
director.
One of I've learned so much, somuch, so much, um, when it
(41:11):
comes to being an artist fromhim, when it comes to being an
artist for them.
And he said, and I rememberworking on that process and he
said I encourage you to askquestions, your value in the
room like yeah, ask, and I waslike wow.
So this experience traumatizedme.
I was like I'm literally askingyou about across across states,
(41:34):
and yet this other space issaying you are worthy to be here
and, yes, ask all the questions.
And that's what you're supposedto do, oh my gosh, I love that.
TJ (41:45):
I love that.
I'm like I just there's so manystories and so many instances
where I just I feel like peoplehave not really give people,
people have misled artists intothinking that it is an open
space and it hasn't actuallybeen an open space and being in
(42:06):
certain rooms and being toldyeah.
I want you to make choices.
I want, I want you to you know,come to me with questions and
let's, let's collaborate, andthen you find out shortly after
that it is not a collaborationit's a dictatorship.
Calvin (42:24):
Yeah, yeah, yeah I love that.
TJ (42:26):
I love that you've you've had an experience where it was
actually a collaboration, acollaboration early on.
Calvin (42:32):
Yes, I think again one of those.
I think it happened like 25.
I was 25, the first one, thenthe next one, I think that was
27, 28 and then, but again,knowing your 20s or your
formative year, you don't knowwho the hell you are.
But then you having somebodywho in a in an artistic space
having a dictatorship, and it'slike in an artistic space having
(42:56):
a dictatorship and it's likewho, who am I, who do I?
Do I get to?
And it's like it took me years,I think not into my early 30s,
when I I enter you, I youhearing you today ask kind of
pointed questions about it's thework before you get to the room
, you said.
And when you enter into thespace, not until, like, I hit
like about 30 mm-hmm.
I said, oh, this is who I ambefore I enter into this space
(43:19):
and I have value, I get here,mm-hmm and I had.
TJ (43:23):
Truthfully, I feel like that has been since being on the
other side of 30.
I'm 35 now.
Yeah, that has been the placethat I've been able to operate
from and I feel so much morepresent in the room.
I feel like I'm not holding onto stuff as much as I used to
when I was in my 20s.
I had had a conversation thisweek about the tools that I use
(43:45):
to kind of like let go ofwhatever happens in there, and
it very much came from a classthat I took and the teacher
saying to just find whateverworks for you.
But I essentially used to, whenwe used to do paper sides,
would take the sides after theaudition, rip them up and throw
them in the trash.
Calvin (44:04):
Yeah, yeah, just leave it there.
TJ (44:05):
And I'm like this is where I'm leaving this, so I can go
about my day and whateverhappens will happen, and I don't
have to hold on to this.
I don't have to carry thisaround with me all day.
Calvin (44:15):
You're reminding me to throw away my sides from
yesterday.
TJ (44:20):
So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you
for doing this.
Thank you, this has beenamazing.
Where can the folks find you?
Calvin (44:29):
Folks can find me on you Google my name.
Yes, you can find me onwwwCalvinMThompsoncom.
Also, my social media isMrMRC-A-L-L-Y-c-a-l.
(44:51):
Mr calicab on instagram, andthose are my platform.
TJ (44:56):
I love it so before we go, I'd like to do this thing called
the last three, three questionsunrelated to the topic, just to
give our folks a little bit ofknowledge.
So first question where do youfind the most peace?
Calvin (45:17):
God.
So first question where do youfind the most peace?
God, but also God is we weretalking about it a little bit
before God to me does not looklike the traditional sense.
TJ (45:35):
God to me looks like going on a hike and going upstate in
the woods.
Calvin (45:39):
Yes, yes, yes.
Sitting by a lake, yeah, god tome looks like sitting by the
ocean and just listening to thewaves.
God to me looks like enjoyingapplesauce on a Friday night,
because that's one of myfavorite foods.
You know what I'm saying?
It's like tapping into thethings.
(46:01):
That is not necessarilyanything based on the person or
a space outside of me, but it'smore so me finding those I can.
At any time I can bring thosefeelings and what it's like to
(46:21):
be.
I could close my eyes and be inthat space, if that makes sense
.
TJ (46:27):
Where do you find joy in the world?
Calvin (46:31):
Community.
I find joy in my friends, myfamily, my niece.
I miss my niece.
I find joy in music.
TJ (46:43):
Love it.
And then last question how doyou practice gratitude?
Calvin (47:10):
How do I find practice, practice?
How do I practice gratitude?
Oh, I just look to everythingthat is present.
One when I wake up in themorning and my feet hit the
floor, god, thank you, um, to behere.
And then I just start if I cansee it, and I, I, I, and also if
I'm reminded of it, um, I'mjust like thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
(47:30):
I, I don't, I'm just like thankyou, thank you, thank you,
thank you, I don't.
The scripture that speaks abouthaving a thousand tongues.
You know, I don't think there'senough.
I'm wording that wrong.
I don't think that, when youreally look at abundance, the
(47:59):
enormity of abundance of thingslike even this time, in this
space, right here, right now,there's so much to be grateful
for.
I've been so filled, our cupshave been filled in such a
reciprocal way, in such areciprocal way.
So it's just the present bringsme gratitude.
TJ (48:20):
Yeah, thank you, thank you, thank you for this.
And with that, friends, I willsee you next week and that's our
show.
Friends, thanks for joining uson Tea with TJ.
Please rate, review andsubscribe, and you can find us
on Instagram at Tea with TJPodcast.
(48:41):
And, as always, stay kind, keepsipping and remember we're here
, so we might as well do it.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.