September 18, 2024 • 44 mins
How do creative souls navigate the turbulent waves of life and emerge stronger? Join me, on "Tea with TJ" for an intimate conversation with William Sinclair Moore, an actor, new age spiritualist, and podcaster. William's journey is a compelling narrative of overcoming depression, rediscovering himself through multiple relocations, and embracing healing practices like tarot, yoga, and sound baths to enhance his personal well-being.
Ever wondered how artists turn their imaginative sparks into tangible creations? William and I explore the unique energy and creative processes that drive artists to bring their ideas to life. We emphasize the importance of nurturing the inner child, especially when dealing with past traumas, and share personal anecdotes that highlight the emotional baggage we all carry. With heartfelt stories about reconnecting with childhood through television shows and the transformative impact of therapy and self-awareness, this episode is a testament to the resilience and power of the human spirit.
We discuss the weight of words, the necessity of kindness, and the practice of gratitude as cornerstones for achieving personal peace and authenticity. Tune in for a heartfelt episode that celebrates resilience, creativity, and the healing power of embracing your true self.
You can find William: @sinclairizm
Sage the house down podcast: Sage the House Down
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
TJ (00:15):
Hey friends, it's TJ, and you're listening to Tea with TJ,
where our love for tea,conversation and
self-improvement intersect.
So let's take a deeper diveinto my cup and let's have a
chat.
Hey friends, it's TJ.
Welcome back to another episodeof Tea with TJ, and today I
(00:39):
have a special guest, Mr WilliamMower Howdy.
William (00:53):
Welcome to the pod.
TJ (00:54):
So if you, could just quickly tell me your story?
That's my story.
William (00:56):
No, I'm kidding.
Hi, my name is William SinclairMoore.
I am from Detroit, michigan.
Born and raised.
I had two parents in thehousehold.
They were high schoolsweethearts.
I went to school at SouthernMethodist University, studied
(01:31):
acting, moved home, fell into adeep, dark depression, moved to
New York City stayed six months,moved back home, fell into a
deeper, darker depression.
Then I moved to Connecticut withmy ex, which you know, you met
that was back when she was in orwent to school at Yale.
And then I moved to New York,again with my best friend, and
I've been here since tryingcreating, exploring.
TJ (01:46):
I don't think I knew that you had come and gone from New
York that many times.
William (01:54):
Welcome back when you moved to New York so young, I
just didn't know anything.
I didn't know what to do forwork.
I was just waiting to get yeah.
That's why yeah, definitely getthat.
TJ (02:08):
I mean, the city is a beast sometimes, um so I'm so grateful
to have you on the show.
William (02:15):
I'm glad to be here also.
This is really good.
TJ (02:19):
You know, the tea is teeing here's the thing a lot see
people sleep on the tea portionof Tea with TJ, by the way, we
were having a masala chai today,but people really be kind of
sleeping on it and I'm like Iknow how to pick tea.
The whole purpose of the showis to also have a nice hot
beverage for you.
William (02:36):
Uh-huh, do you also?
Do you have just like acupboard filled with different
types of tea?
TJ (02:41):
Usually yes, yes, wow yeah.
Different types of tea Usuallyyes.
William (02:44):
Wow, I love that A little bit of variety.
TJ (02:47):
But when we talked about having you on the show, I
presented with you a bunch oftopics to choose from and you
chose air quotes, the many facesof you, kind of dissecting your
front, facing personality orpersona to the outside world, to
(03:09):
family, to friends, creatively,professionally, which I think
is a really cool topic todiscuss with someone like you,
because I have been witness to,both in person and via, like
social media, kind of like, um,myriad of things that you do as
a creative.
So what would you say are likeyour top three, like personas
(03:33):
that you inhabit?
William (03:39):
I am beautiful.
No, I'm kidding no um, I mean, Imean, I would consider myself
to be an actor, I would considermyself to be a spiritualist, a
new age spiritualist to bespecific, and I guess, a
podcaster right now.
But I dibble and dabble in somany different, it's really hard
.
I like taking pictures too.
(03:59):
I love writing.
I like taking pictures too.
I love writing.
I like singing.
I'm scared to sing in front ofpeople, but I really I like to
sing too.
Yeah, you said three, but Igave you five.
No, that's fine, I love it.
I love it.
TJ (04:16):
It gives us more latitude.
I want to go back, because Ithink there are portions of this
, and this is exactly what Ifeel like.
This is the perfectconversation I have with you.
I don't think I knew about thespiritualist thing, so what?
What exactly does it mean forfolks listening and watching?
What does that actually mean?
William (04:38):
A healer a healer using many different modalities.
I dibble and dabble in tarot, Ido yoga, I play with sound
bowls, just any type of way,like I talked about before.
When I was going through mydeep, dark depressions the two
(04:59):
chapters of that I had to figureout how to pull myself out.
Um, and those different wayswere the ways that I did it, and
now I use those as practices tolike help me live more fully.
Now I love that.
TJ (05:14):
I've always wanted to, um, have a sound bath.
I think is is the correctphrase, yeah, um.
But it's always been ofinterest to me and I think I've
spoken about this on the podcastbefore.
That sound has always kind ofbeen very present in my life and
done something for me.
And I can't explain it.
(05:34):
I don't know if it's like thevibrational thing or the
frequencies or whatever it is,but when I was a kid I was drawn
to music and as I've gottenolder I've picked up on like the
sound of whooshing trees in thewind and like the sound of
rainfall and water rushing downlike a stream or something.
Um what?
William (05:52):
first of all, I'm also going to say you're a vocalist,
so that makes sense, yeah.
And also you played aninstrument right like you were,
yeah, so that makes sense, so goahead.
TJ (06:01):
Uh, is that, do you like?
I don't know how to phrase thisbecause I've never experienced
it.
Do you take sound baths, orwhat is the correct phrase?
William (06:12):
no, I mean that is it, but it's not like you're
jumping into a tub.
I mean you kind of are, becausethere's so many different
sounds that can heal us.
That's like when people uh,sometimes when people want to go
to sleep, they use rain.
Like there's certain differentfrequencies that make us feel
different things.
I remember, um, when I was incollege, I watched an interview
(06:33):
where Erykah Badu said um thatin her first album she actually
used certain frequencies incertain songs to make the
listener feel different things.
So it's, it's real.
Take your sound bath.
Yes, uh that's so funny.
TJ (06:52):
I've never heard anyone say take yeah, I was like I don't
know how to phrase this becauseit is a sound bath and yeah,
yeah, but it's.
It's always been of interest tome because I think there is um,
I have a friend that I spoke toyou about before we started
recording my friend, justinNelson, who has also been on the
podcast, who has a podcastcalled Adjusting Check it out.
But he very much has enteredinto the space in his life where
(07:18):
he is very much in alignmentwith his chakras.
And like making sure that thosedo not fall out of alignment and
, if they do, making sure he cando things to get those back.
And I have heard in my tiny,tiny, tiny research when it
comes to sound baths, becauseagain I want to do it.
I haven't figured out where togo, where to start.
William (07:38):
Hopefully Will you can teach me some things.
TJ (07:40):
You just do it, you just do it, you just start, you just do
it, you just do it, you juststart.
But I have heard stories andkind of seen some stuff online
about just how that can actuallyheal you and get your chakras
back in alignment.
William (07:56):
Have you experienced any of that on your own?
Yeah, I think the thing that Iwould say about chakras is that
they're never fully in alignment.
I feel like when we live aspeople like, let's say, I don't
know, like I'm outside and Iexperience something, like I
trip and fall or something likeautomatically that knocks me off
(08:18):
my balance, the point of likethe different spiritual
practices is that it brings youback, but then something else
will happen to you.
Yeah, yeah, I always like tosay that, because I feel like
sometimes, when people thinkabout healing, they think it's
possible to just be like thisall the time and just it's not
possible.
You know, I mean.
TJ (08:38):
I can only imagine.
I'm like thinking, thinkingabout my own life, where, in
again, I am not well versed inthis in this space, but in
thinking about, like the crownchakra, my third eye throat
chakra, I feel like my throatchakra is usually good you're
well versed enough.
William (08:58):
I'm still learning.
TJ (08:59):
I'm still learning uh, I feel like what kind of like
throws me off balance the mostis my root chakra.
I don't know why, but I feellike what kind of like throws me
off balance the most is my rootchakra.
I don't know why, but I feellike that is the thing that like
kind of messes with me, and soa lot of times I try to make
sure that I am grounded as muchas possible, but I feel like,
because of the world we live in,because of the things that
(09:21):
happen, that is always the onethat I feel like I'm a little
shaky.
William (09:26):
It's all based in your beginning.
That's why people, when theywant to work on chakras and
they're like, oh, like I want tostart up here, it's like no,
you always you need to start atthe foundation, the root chakra,
because that's where everythingis built from.
So the root chakra, when that'soff balance, that has to do
with family, it has to do withhome, it has to do with
(09:46):
literally the roots of yourbeing, where you come from.
So whenever you feel off base,there may be something off base
and that or something that'sunhealed from that place that
needs to be worked on or beingtriggered interesting.
TJ (09:59):
Well, that explains a lot.
Um, that's wow, that'sinteresting.
Thank you, I did not know that.
There you go um, so with, withthese different pieces of you
that exist um what has kind ofbeen, I would say, the most
(10:23):
present or forward facingamongst all of them.
William (10:33):
You mean like in my life I guess.
I mean I feel like I'm always aperformer.
Okay, I remember, um, I was inNew York and like auditioning
and not booking anything, and mybest friend told me she was
(10:53):
like you know, like no matterwhat, like you're always a
performer because, like you'reborn one, when you are one, it's
just, yeah, it just is like youcan feel it.
When you see somebody, or likewhen you interact with them,
it's like, oh, like they, theydo this or they do art or
something, you can feel it.
So I think that I think I wasborn to do that and I think all
(11:18):
of that sort of bleeds intoeverything that I do, even in
just living, like I feel, I evenfeel kind of performative, like
just walking down the streetsometimes, because I think
that's just how our brain works.
TJ (11:31):
But yeah, absolutely, I was going to say, I think, the one
of our first encounters.
When we first met, I got thesense of even even though,
because I want to say the firstwe met and like, went out to
dinner for the first time.
I had not actually interactedwith you yet, but I heard of you
and I want to say, whateverthat encounter was I can't
(11:54):
remember the restaurant that wewere at, but I very much was
like I feel like you're astoryteller, I feel like there's
something here that you're nottelling me, or, in this moment,
you're choosing not to show,like I feel like there's
something here that you're nottelling me or, in this moment,
you're choosing not to show.
William (12:13):
Do you find that you kind of shield some of those
pieces of you when you meetpeople or engage with certain
people, like when we met?
It was a very interestingsituation that I was in because
I felt like I was reallybattling with feeling like
worthy of even consideringmyself to be a performer.
(12:35):
When you experience so muchrejection, when you experience
people like not really seeingyou, it sort of makes you feel
like whatever whatever you knowwhat I mean.
But, like you say, you can kindof feel it anyway.
So it's not on purpose, but Ithink what you, um, what you
emanate, has to do with how youfeel and what you feel about
(12:57):
yourself.
Um, yeah, I agree, I agree.
TJ (13:02):
I feel like there is something unique about an artist
, a creative, a performer thatyou can sense.
I agree with you in thatstatement that there's just
something there that's palpable.
What do you think it is?
I don't know, but it's pureenergetically.
I don't know, because I canalways tell, even when I'm not
(13:26):
in New York and I go otherplaces and I meet someone I'm
like you're not I don't meanthis in a kind of way, but
you're not normal.
There's something there.
You're not normal, you're notaverage.
William (13:39):
But that's real though , and it's no shade.
But like I feel like there's anartist and then there's like an
average person, I feel likeartists, brains like it like,
operates on a different level.
I agree, yeah, which changedhow we express ourselves and
like yeah, yeah.
TJ (13:58):
They're very animated, and I don't mean to say that in a
weird way, but like veryanimated, very um, usually very
present and very aware um, veryobserv, very observant um, and
there is always color to theirstories, which I love, because
I'm like when you, when you meetsomeone and you, you know,
encounter them for the firsttime, or as you're even getting
(14:20):
to know someone, I feel like you, you have an opportunity to
really kind of shape theperspective, not in a bad way,
but you really get a chance toshape the perspective of you or
the other person.
And I feel like those are themoments where I'm like, oh, oh
yeah, like you're, you're givingme like something special here
that you probably wouldn't givesomeone else.
William (14:42):
Yeah.
TJ (14:43):
I love that.
Um, would you say that, withthese multiple parts of you,
what has kind of either neededthe most like love or attention
or specificity amongst them, orwhat has needed like time?
William (15:14):
starts crying.
No, I'm kidding no, okay, whatparts I'm gonna take.
One of those words, huh, I Ithink a lot of the times I'm
(15:37):
gonna take that question andkind of like I think I'm
answering it.
What I feel is I feel like inmy artist self there are like
different, different stages, ifthat makes any sense you with me
okay.
So I feel like I'm really,really strong in the like, in my
(16:01):
brain, in creation.
And then the next point when itcomes to like actualization,
like actually taking it fromhere and putting it out here,
that requires so much more work,so much more specificity and so
(16:21):
much more love, so kind of likeall the words that you said, I
feel like when there's a part ofyour artist's self, or let's
just say, your inner child, um,when it experiences a trauma, or
it's told that it's not worthy,or it's told that it's not
deserving, it takes work tobring it to a space where it's
(16:45):
like, yeah, it's okay, likeyou're not gonna die if you put
this out, no one's gonna hurtyou, yeah, no one's going to
harm you even if it's bad, yeah,yeah, which I'll be making
nothing bad I don't like youknow, but even if it was like,
nothing bad is gonna happen.
Yeah, and I feel like, um, uh,my podcast saves the house down
(17:09):
an audible original.
Yes, um, that was a rebirth forme.
Uh, like figuring out how totake an idea and actually put it
out, because when you're a kidit's so easy.
You're, you don't have all ofthat stuff or baggage.
(17:30):
Yeah, um, so I think that thatplace within my artist self it
needs even more.
TJ (17:39):
Um, just pushing and coaxing and like work and love and yeah
yeah, I say that is definitelysomething that I have learned in
the past.
I think almost a year of beingin therapy and finally realizing
that my, my inner child, isvery wounded.
(18:03):
Uh, and it's crazy, because Iwas talking to my best friend
the other night and I waswatching I Love Lucy.
Why is the throat clear?
Sorry, I was watching I LoveLucy and we were on the phone
(18:24):
and he was asking me what I waswatching and I was telling him I
was like I'm watching Lucy.
I realized in the moment I waslike wow, I I'm deeply connected
to the show via my childhoodbecause I would watch it every
night before bed and I knew ifit was on I was supposed to be
asleep um, that's me and Sex andthe City, but keep going
(18:48):
supposed to be asleep.
Um, that's me and sex in thecity, but keep going, because
there was um nick at night wouldcome on and it was.
I think it was.
I dream of genie bewitched,dick van dyke, and then I love
lucy and I think, because all ofthose shows are like half hours
, so there was like a two-hourtime frame and then I was like I
have to watch lucy, like if I'mup, I got to just watch it.
William (19:04):
Like you were up and you was grown.
Okay, yeah, and this is.
TJ (19:08):
this is like 12 year old me, yeah, um.
But I realized how connectedthat show is to my childhood and
how there's still so much stuffaround that that I'm still
discovering now.
Um, but in this whole journeythat I've had over the past year
of being in therapy, I'verealized I was like there's just
(19:30):
so much baggage that I did notrealize was there that I'm now,
you know, pulling shit out ofthe suitcase and trying to
figure out.
What do I do with this?
What do I do with this?
Oh, this makes me feel somekind of way.
What do I do with this?
William (19:44):
Exactly.
TJ (19:46):
Um.
So it's a very interestingplace to be and I think the more
we can as artists, as creatives, the more we can acknowledge
that and be present with it.
I think most of us will willcome out the other side better
than we planned.
William (20:03):
That, now that I think about that, that visual of like
taking things you literally ina can I curse?
yeah, a clusterfuck of likebeing or experiencing, like
being triggered and stuff likethat, like you really don't know
(20:23):
what to do with all thefeelings, so it does give yeah,
sorry but you know all of thatand it's like, yeah, but that's
going back to the differentpractices and stuff and about
like how, like all thosedifferent things can kind of
like help.
But then also I feel like wewere talking about this earlier
it's a point where, before that,people don't necessarily know
(20:46):
how to get to the space, to evenwhat.
If you're so down that youcan't pick up a sound bowl,
you're so down that you can'twrite in your journal, what do
you do?
TJ (20:58):
Yeah.
So let me tell you somethingthis is why the show is called T
with TJ because I have lookedat the bottom of a mug many a
times, not knowing what to do,and that has been living in New
York, being on tour, being inthe middle of this country, in
the middle of nowhere, incornfields, and trying to be
(21:19):
like what am I doing with mylife?
Why am I here?
Why is this moment happeningright now?
And I think that's granted,that was in my early 20s.
Why am I here?
Why is this moment happeningright now?
Um, and I think that's I mean,granted, you know that was in my
early twenties.
Um, so it was a different time,but I say that to say that,
like you're navigating so muchalready in that space.
Yeah, so then, to have all ofthese um triggers that are
(21:43):
affecting you in real time whileyou're trying to pursue your
dream, live your life, pay bills, live in this giant ass city
amongst millions, um, trying tostand out and trying to be
something and make something ofyourself.
Um, you know you don't havetime to go back and pull out all
of this stuff from the suitcase, right?
William (22:02):
you're trying to just survive, um I have a question
though yeah, what do you thinkso, now that you're like, you're
distanced from how old were you?
TJ (22:11):
like 20, uh, I mean it's various stages, but like my
first, the cornfieldspecifically, that was 23, 24
somewhere do you think you weredoing?
There.
I know now that I had to bethere.
I had to be there to get herebecause it taught me a lot In
(22:35):
the bigger picture of things,and I will say this that I've
always been the optimistic typeof person and always looking at
the bigger picture of like, yes,this moment sucks that I'm
currently in right now, but howdoes this affect my life as a
whole?
like 20 years from now, will Ibe able to reflect on this and
say I actually needed this tohappen, because this affected
(22:56):
this, and then this turned intothis and then this helped me get
to this?
Um, instead of throwing myhands up and saying, well, fuck
it all, I'm just gonna cuteverything off and get the fuck
out.
Um, but in that momentspecifically, I think it allowed
me because I was I'm just gonnashare what it was, um I was
(23:18):
like yeah, what is this?
uh, I was on this tour, uh,cliff of the Red Dog and I had
been going back and forth fromthe tour to New York to audition
for the National Tour.
William (23:36):
Oh period.
TJ (23:39):
It was the non-union tour, but it was the Broadway version
of that 25th anniversary thingthat had just happened.
And so the cities were werestill like a list cities, so
there were big cities and like alot of recognition.
You were still getting theoriginal director from the show
and all this kind of stuff likesomething that would have
propelled me forward, yeah, andI was flying back and forth,
(24:00):
flying back and forth, and gotto final callbacks I was like,
oh shit, I'm about to book this.
Like I'm about to be fuckingBenny in the rent national tour.
I can't believe I've gottenhere and did my callback, went
back to the tour.
I think we were in Californiaat the time and waited and,
waited, and waited and we werelike driving across the country
(24:21):
and I remember finally gettingthe email saying that we've gone
in a different direction, andbeing very, very heartbroken,
yeah, um, and disappointed andquestioning am I only good
enough for children's theater,you know, am I only good enough
(24:42):
for stories that are not enough,for stories that are not as
complex as I would like them tobe?
Because, in no shade toChildren's Theater, like I'm
grateful for that experience,looking back on it, because the
thing about Children's Theateris that kids don't lie, yeah,
they're honest.
William (25:00):
Children's Theater is.
TJ (25:00):
It's funny you know, but unfortunately the, the, the
industry does not necessarilyrecognize that specific.
I respect it.
William (25:10):
Yeah.
TJ (25:10):
Yeah.
And so there was a lot ofself-doubt and a lot of
searching and trying to figureout like well, should I even be
doing this or do I need to goback to New York?
Like what, what am I doing?
And I remember coming back,coming back home to New York,
and I think I was living I wasliving in Brooklyn at the time
(25:32):
and going to a few auditionshere and there, and it had been
a few months and I booked JesusChrist Superstar and it was
weird because and if anyone'sout there who knows me it was
weird because it was one ofthose giant massive like open
(25:53):
calls, like 300 people on thelist, like I hated those
auditions, 300 people on thelist but I got seen, got a
callback, but only a dancecallback, no sides.
William (26:06):
None of that.
TJ (26:07):
Just the dance callback.
I didn't go to the dancecallback because I was like it
was for their full season,because I was like I know what
show I want to do, I know whatshow I'm right for, I know what
role I'm right for and if I justget an opportunity I can prove
to you that you'll see it.
Yeah, and sure enough, I didn'tgo to the dance callback.
I got another email being likehey, we'd like to see you for
(26:29):
Jesus Christ Superstar forKaifus.
I said, hmm, isn't thatconvenient.
And I remember going into thecallback back when they would
like pair you with someone toget you like, like a chemistry
read.
Yeah, and I was paired with twoguys, one of which who ended up
being my roommate while I wasdoing that show.
(26:50):
But two guys and I could tell Iwas like neither one of you
have these low notes.
If, like, if this is the threeof us, it's gonna be me, and not
to sound cocky, but like, butyou know, you know in that
moment um, but then ultimatelybooking it, and that probably
was my best to date, I think,theatrical experience ever.
William (27:12):
Well, to more, to more experiences that are just as
wonderful and just as amazing ormore.
TJ (27:20):
Yeah, but I think if if I had not gone through this kind
of like kind of low ish placeafter the rent thing and decided
to like pick myself up and say,no, I want to do this.
I know that I'm actually goodat this, I know there's a place
for me here, I could have missedout on that.
Yeah, you know.
William (27:39):
Yeah, I grew up my entire life this is connecting,
I think.
But I grew up my entire lifesort of being praised for my
ability, like I.
I was always told that, youknow, even in college.
Like, oh, you're a beast.
Like you know what I mean.
Like you know, I was alwaystold that.
(27:59):
And I think, coming into thereal world and experiencing like
oh damn, you don't like mebecause I'm fat, wait a second.
No, you don't like me becauseI'm fat, wait a second.
No, you don't like me becauseyou know, whatever it, just a
whole bunch of different thingsthat never really played a
factor when I was younger.
Because, like you know, I wastelling my friend this the other
(28:22):
day I think I attached myselftoo much to my talent as a child
.
Like I did not, I didn't haveanything else.
Like I didn't think that I wasattractive, I didn't think that
I was necessarily smart, like Ijust even though I was.
Like, when I think back, like,oh, and I was cute too.
(28:44):
Like you know, it's just allthese things.
I just never thought.
But I just, but I'm talentedand I think I had to experience
the world saying no to me for meto sort of engage with the
other parts of myself to engagewith the fact that, oh, william,
(29:06):
you are beautiful, even if youdon't feel it, you are special,
you're smart, you're, you know,you are, you're everything.
Really, you really are and Ihad to learn that.
And then I really do think mylife got better when I started
(29:27):
to like, after the world told meno, and I started telling
myself, yes, things started toopen up a little.
TJ (29:35):
I love that.
I feel like there's um we're.
We're in alignment with thatthought, because I feel like I'm
entering that stage now,because I've even though I've
had this revelation of likecareer wise, I am confident and
good enough in know I have aplace in the industry at large,
(29:57):
but even just being like super,super specific with it I know or
I've had feelings of, but thereare three other people who are
better than me there are fourother people who can do it twice
as good, twice as fast as me.
And I think the space that I'vekind of inhabited now is very
(30:17):
much what you were saying oflike trying to realize and
understand and comprehend that Iam good enough, that I love
myself, that I'm smart so that Ican go out there and project
that and show that.
William (30:30):
And, more importantly, ain't nobody TJ.
TJ (30:35):
Yeah, yeah.
William (30:36):
Like I think, like, yeah, nobody is you, nobody is
William Sinclair Moore, exactly.
You may think like you, youreally you may, may think, but
nobody will do it like how youdo it.
Nobody will do it how I do it,like you know it.
We're so different, exactlyyeah, so many different lived
(30:59):
experiences like nobody couldcompare.
Yeah, yeah, you can't competewhere you don't compare.
Be careful, says like you know.
TJ (31:10):
I think that's.
That is where, at least for me,I feel like that's where it
gets a little dicey, becausealthough professionally, as an
actor front facing, you know Ican walk into a room confidently
and sing my 32 bars and be goodand I'm like I can come here
and do this all day, but themoment that I have to be
(31:31):
compared to somebody else, orthe moment that I am out in the
world just as tj not like tj theperformer.
There's a whole nother slew ofthings that exist that I'm like.
Oh yeah, I have to like rememberthis in this space too, not
just on stage, not just in anaudition room um, and so that's
(31:53):
kind of that, that space thatI'm trying to navigate now of
like, oh yeah, like I have toput these on the other pieces of
me too.
What do you think that's rootedin?
I mean, well, going back towhere we started this
conversation, the root chakra.
I think so much of so much ofmy childhood is probably glazed
(32:15):
over and not on purpose grew upwhere I grew up, not having
access to certain things andkind of just existing in an
environment where there was verylittle room for individuality.
(32:37):
You know, we were assimilatedto be church kids, to be school
kids, to be a part of thisnucleus of a family, um, but
very little room to explore thethings that, like, were of
interest to me are you a pk?
William (32:53):
yeah, yeah, who who knew, I'm sure multiple who I
didn't know that wow, yeah.
TJ (33:03):
so I mean, you know, with all of that kind of stuff
surrounding everything, I feellike, like you know, I didn't, I
didn't.
I expressed learning how toplay piano, wanting to learn,
but never got a lesson.
You know, I expressed myinterest in theater but until
shout out to my, until, likemiddle school, I had never seen
(33:26):
a Broadway show, I had neverseen a play show, I had never
seen a play like on stage yeah,didn't know musicals existed do
you think it was like yourparents, thinking that it wasn't
that important, or?
no, I think it.
I think it is like again, Ithink it's just based off of
where I was, because I grew upin Tennessee, because there was
no access yeah there was noaccess to it.
It's like the, the National Tourhouse had a show, maybe every
(33:49):
three to six months yeah um,especially back then, like we
were not listed as like an, acity like wicked did not come
there, lion king did not comethere until I think, when I was
what was it like 2006, somewherein there, like before I left?
Yeah, but that's also that'swhy it's so important to have
(34:11):
access to things and like makesure that we have inclusive
programs, and the list goes onand on.
William (34:18):
When I think about my childhood, I really realize
there there is a reason I am soinsane, okay, or that my brain
and my body and my spirit wantsto do so many things.
My parents like I love youparents.
(34:43):
I was doing everything.
Yeah, I was doing everythingand I didn't really focus on
anything until high school.
And that was when I was like,oh, yeah, this theater thing,
like because I started off inthe choir and then I was getting
(35:05):
bullied, yeah, a little bit,you know, like very in the
beginning, and I was like, oh,like I'm not going to go back.
So I didn't go back to choir.
But then I went to theater andit was connected to this youth
(35:27):
theater that I ended up likegraduating from, you know,
whenever I stayed there forthree years.
But the teacher on the firstday he was like, oh, you should
stay, you got something, and itreally just, I think we were
just doing like improv, you know.
But I was like, oh, wow, okay.
And but I think, like thereason why I do so much shit now
is because in most areas that Itried like I mean, I played
(35:48):
football, I played soccer, Iplayed baseball, I did karate, I
was on the debate team.
I was in theater, I was inchoir, I had a stint in the
anime club, like I, just like.
Okay, that girl.
No, you know Like talk about themany faces, but literally like
I, and I was pretty much alwaysaffirmed in everyone.
(36:10):
So it kind of made it a littleconfusing, you know, knowing
which way to go.
But I think what birthed allthose different selves was like
people being like yeah, I seethat for you.
And then, now that I thinkabout it, when, like the world
tells you no like in these, inthese different selves, it kind
of tells you to like close off.
(36:30):
So let's say it's somebodywho's like super expressive and
then someone like judges thatperson.
When they're expressive, it'slike, oh, wow, yeah, like I
shouldn't do that anymore, likeI shouldn't.
Yeah.
I was talking to my now partnerand they were talking about how
(36:51):
they would post like thesethings on social media about you
know, being Jamaican and stufflike that.
And somebody told them, oh,that's corny, like you shouldn't
do that anymore, like youshouldn't do that anymore.
And when I thought about that Iwas like, oh my God, like
people don't realize, like thewords that they say, like they
(37:15):
could even just be joking, buthow that makes someone close off
or it makes a part of someoneclose off, absolutely, yeah,
yeah.
TJ (37:25):
I was going to say.
That is that I I talk aboutthis with my best friend all the
time, about how words matterand, although some things can be
sarcastic and be colored acertain way, you unless, unless
(37:46):
you, you are meshed with thatperson lead with kindness.
Yeah, lead with compassion.
William (37:52):
Um, because you never know how something can actually
affect someone even if you are,you gotta be really sure,
because you know he was tellingme like, oh man, like I went so
long without actually likegiving that up on social media,
because pieces of us die whenthey're told no, yes, yes, and
(38:14):
pieces of us are birthed whenthey're told yes.
Like so much, life lives in ayes.
TJ (38:22):
Yeah, yeah.
William (38:24):
Yeah.
TJ (38:24):
Like the whole reason that I even exist in this form now is
because I said yes to pursuingtheater.
My original plan was to move toCalifornia and be a composer.
William (38:38):
I feel like I heard this in episode yeah, yeah, and
then you were like this isn'tthe dream anymore.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, can youimagine that's a different life
we have?
So, but who says that that pathwouldn't have been like dope
too?
Yeah, yeah, I just feel likethere's so many paths that we
can take and everything is sodivine and everything happens
(39:03):
happens when it's supposed to.
Um, yeah, just, say yes yeah,don't say no to people well come
on.
TJ (39:13):
Well, we are in our time what already?
William (39:17):
that's crazy.
So we're gonna do our little.
Last three no, no, I'm kiddingwe can um.
TJ (39:27):
That was that.
William (39:28):
That was beautiful I also have to say y'all um have
tj, make y'all some tea sometimeseriously, it's so good, it
really is.
I'm like, can I take a jar, youknow oh thank you thank you to
the world um, thank you, thankyou.
TJ (39:44):
Thank you so for doing this.
I appreciate having you on theshow.
It's been a long time coming.
William (39:50):
Yeah.
TJ (39:51):
But before we go, where can the folks find you?
William (39:55):
You can find me.
No, you can find me atSinclairism, on all platforms.
So that's S-I-N-C-L-A-I-R-I-Z-M.
All platforms.
Also at Sage the Collective.
That's my podcast and ourpodcast is on all streaming
platforms.
Sage the House Down, look Us Up.
TJ (40:18):
Me and my Best Friend, paige , love it alright, so this is
the portion of the show beforewe leave that I like to call the
last three.
You can answer how freely youwant, just to give our folks a
little bit of knowledge.
How do you practice gratitude?
William (41:01):
laughter.
My stomach answered um, youknow, for a really long while,
um, I had a gratitude journal,um, and I used to just write
down every morning um, threethings that I was happy about,
or three things that made mefeel good, because I felt really
, really bad.
Now it's in the small things Ido this one thing that I saw on
(41:24):
Instagram where this dude, he,he, he said you know, when
you're giving your money awayfor food, when you're out, say
thank you money and come backsoon, okay, and bring friends.
And I always do that.
Now and I I think, like, whenit comes to gratitude, I like to
(41:45):
think of it as, like you know,I hold on tightly, let go
lightly.
Like you know, I have it nowand I can just release it and
it's gonna come back even better.
Um, that's how I practice itbeing warm and sweet and nice to
things in my brain, so it comesback, I love that um?
TJ (42:07):
where do you find the most peace?
William (42:17):
In my authenticity.
When I'm pretending, I feelwrong there's something in my
physical makeup or inside mybody that I, I can't.
I can't be happy unless I'mbeing authentic, and I feel like
(42:39):
there are some people who, um,who can, but I can't.
I feel the most peace and Ifeel the most happy when I am
living through my authenticity.
TJ (42:51):
I love that.
And then final question wheredo you feel the most seen?
William (43:12):
I feel the most seen when I am speaking.
You don't even have to see me.
It's so crazy because I feellike it would have been a
different answer a couple ofyears ago.
I think, yeah, but you can hearso much in my voice.
My voice tells everything.
TJ (43:35):
Like.
William (43:36):
I can't lie.
You hear where I'm from.
You hear my mother, you hear mydad, you just you hear
everything in my voice.
I I feel the most seen um whenI'm speaking.
TJ (43:50):
I love that well again, thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you for doingthis.
This was great, um, and withthat, I'll see you next week.
Bye, and that's our show.
Friends, thanks for joining uson tea with tj.
(44:12):
Please rate, review andsubscribe, and you can find us
on instagram at tea with tjpodcast.
And, as always, stay kind, keepsipping and remember we're here
.
So we might as well do it.
Hey friends, it's TJ, and you're listening to Tea with TJ,
where our love for tea,conversation and
self-improvement intersect.
So let's take a deeper diveinto my cup and let's have a
chat.
Hey friends, it's TJ.
Welcome back to another episodeof Tea with TJ, and today I
(00:39):
have a special guest, Mr WilliamMower Howdy.
William (00:53):
Welcome to the pod.
TJ (00:54):
So if you, could just quickly tell me your story?
That's my story.
William (00:56):
No, I'm kidding.
Hi, my name is William SinclairMoore.
I am from Detroit, michigan.
Born and raised.
I had two parents in thehousehold.
They were high schoolsweethearts.
I went to school at SouthernMethodist University, studied
(01:31):
acting, moved home, fell into adeep, dark depression, moved to
New York City stayed six months,moved back home, fell into a
deeper, darker depression.
Then I moved to Connecticut withmy ex, which you know, you met
that was back when she was in orwent to school at Yale.
And then I moved to New York,again with my best friend, and
I've been here since tryingcreating, exploring.
TJ (01:46):
I don't think I knew that you had come and gone from New
York that many times.
William (01:54):
Welcome back when you moved to New York so young, I
just didn't know anything.
I didn't know what to do forwork.
I was just waiting to get yeah.
That's why yeah, definitely getthat.
TJ (02:08):
I mean, the city is a beast sometimes, um so I'm so grateful
to have you on the show.
William (02:15):
I'm glad to be here also.
This is really good.
TJ (02:19):
You know, the tea is teeing here's the thing a lot see
people sleep on the tea portionof Tea with TJ, by the way, we
were having a masala chai today,but people really be kind of
sleeping on it and I'm like Iknow how to pick tea.
The whole purpose of the showis to also have a nice hot
beverage for you.
William (02:36):
Uh-huh, do you also?
Do you have just like acupboard filled with different
types of tea?
TJ (02:41):
Usually yes, yes, wow yeah.
Different types of tea Usuallyyes.
William (02:44):
Wow, I love that A little bit of variety.
TJ (02:47):
But when we talked about having you on the show, I
presented with you a bunch oftopics to choose from and you
chose air quotes, the many facesof you, kind of dissecting your
front, facing personality orpersona to the outside world, to
(03:09):
family, to friends, creatively,professionally, which I think
is a really cool topic todiscuss with someone like you,
because I have been witness to,both in person and via, like
social media, kind of like, um,myriad of things that you do as
a creative.
So what would you say are likeyour top three, like personas
(03:33):
that you inhabit?
William (03:39):
I am beautiful.
No, I'm kidding no um, I mean, Imean, I would consider myself
to be an actor, I would considermyself to be a spiritualist, a
new age spiritualist to bespecific, and I guess, a
podcaster right now.
But I dibble and dabble in somany different, it's really hard
.
I like taking pictures too.
(03:59):
I love writing.
I like taking pictures too.
I love writing.
I like singing.
I'm scared to sing in front ofpeople, but I really I like to
sing too.
Yeah, you said three, but Igave you five.
No, that's fine, I love it.
I love it.
TJ (04:16):
It gives us more latitude.
I want to go back, because Ithink there are portions of this
, and this is exactly what Ifeel like.
This is the perfectconversation I have with you.
I don't think I knew about thespiritualist thing, so what?
What exactly does it mean forfolks listening and watching?
What does that actually mean?
William (04:38):
A healer a healer using many different modalities.
I dibble and dabble in tarot, Ido yoga, I play with sound
bowls, just any type of way,like I talked about before.
When I was going through mydeep, dark depressions the two
(04:59):
chapters of that I had to figureout how to pull myself out.
Um, and those different wayswere the ways that I did it, and
now I use those as practices tolike help me live more fully.
Now I love that.
TJ (05:14):
I've always wanted to, um, have a sound bath.
I think is is the correctphrase, yeah, um.
But it's always been ofinterest to me and I think I've
spoken about this on the podcastbefore.
That sound has always kind ofbeen very present in my life and
done something for me.
And I can't explain it.
(05:34):
I don't know if it's like thevibrational thing or the
frequencies or whatever it is,but when I was a kid I was drawn
to music and as I've gottenolder I've picked up on like the
sound of whooshing trees in thewind and like the sound of
rainfall and water rushing downlike a stream or something.
Um what?
William (05:52):
first of all, I'm also going to say you're a vocalist,
so that makes sense, yeah.
And also you played aninstrument right like you were,
yeah, so that makes sense, so goahead.
TJ (06:01):
Uh, is that, do you like?
I don't know how to phrase thisbecause I've never experienced
it.
Do you take sound baths, orwhat is the correct phrase?
William (06:12):
no, I mean that is it, but it's not like you're
jumping into a tub.
I mean you kind of are, becausethere's so many different
sounds that can heal us.
That's like when people uh,sometimes when people want to go
to sleep, they use rain.
Like there's certain differentfrequencies that make us feel
different things.
I remember, um, when I was incollege, I watched an interview
(06:33):
where Erykah Badu said um thatin her first album she actually
used certain frequencies incertain songs to make the
listener feel different things.
So it's, it's real.
Take your sound bath.
Yes, uh that's so funny.
TJ (06:52):
I've never heard anyone say take yeah, I was like I don't
know how to phrase this becauseit is a sound bath and yeah,
yeah, but it's.
It's always been of interest tome because I think there is um,
I have a friend that I spoke toyou about before we started
recording my friend, justinNelson, who has also been on the
podcast, who has a podcastcalled Adjusting Check it out.
But he very much has enteredinto the space in his life where
(07:18):
he is very much in alignmentwith his chakras.
And like making sure that thosedo not fall out of alignment and
, if they do, making sure he cando things to get those back.
And I have heard in my tiny,tiny, tiny research when it
comes to sound baths, becauseagain I want to do it.
I haven't figured out where togo, where to start.
William (07:38):
Hopefully Will you can teach me some things.
TJ (07:40):
You just do it, you just do it, you just start, you just do
it, you just do it, you juststart.
But I have heard stories andkind of seen some stuff online
about just how that can actuallyheal you and get your chakras
back in alignment.
William (07:56):
Have you experienced any of that on your own?
Yeah, I think the thing that Iwould say about chakras is that
they're never fully in alignment.
I feel like when we live aspeople like, let's say, I don't
know, like I'm outside and Iexperience something, like I
trip and fall or something likeautomatically that knocks me off
(08:18):
my balance, the point of likethe different spiritual
practices is that it brings youback, but then something else
will happen to you.
Yeah, yeah, I always like tosay that, because I feel like
sometimes, when people thinkabout healing, they think it's
possible to just be like thisall the time and just it's not
possible.
You know, I mean.
TJ (08:38):
I can only imagine.
I'm like thinking, thinkingabout my own life, where, in
again, I am not well versed inthis in this space, but in
thinking about, like the crownchakra, my third eye throat
chakra, I feel like my throatchakra is usually good you're
well versed enough.
William (08:58):
I'm still learning.
TJ (08:59):
I'm still learning uh, I feel like what kind of like
throws me off balance the mostis my root chakra.
I don't know why, but I feellike what kind of like throws me
off balance the most is my rootchakra.
I don't know why, but I feellike that is the thing that like
kind of messes with me, and soa lot of times I try to make
sure that I am grounded as muchas possible, but I feel like,
because of the world we live in,because of the things that
(09:21):
happen, that is always the onethat I feel like I'm a little
shaky.
William (09:26):
It's all based in your beginning.
That's why people, when theywant to work on chakras and
they're like, oh, like I want tostart up here, it's like no,
you always you need to start atthe foundation, the root chakra,
because that's where everythingis built from.
So the root chakra, when that'soff balance, that has to do
with family, it has to do withhome, it has to do with
(09:46):
literally the roots of yourbeing, where you come from.
So whenever you feel off base,there may be something off base
and that or something that'sunhealed from that place that
needs to be worked on or beingtriggered interesting.
TJ (09:59):
Well, that explains a lot.
Um, that's wow, that'sinteresting.
Thank you, I did not know that.
There you go um, so with, withthese different pieces of you
that exist um what has kind ofbeen, I would say, the most
(10:23):
present or forward facingamongst all of them.
William (10:33):
You mean like in my life I guess.
I mean I feel like I'm always aperformer.
Okay, I remember, um, I was inNew York and like auditioning
and not booking anything, and mybest friend told me she was
(10:53):
like you know, like no matterwhat, like you're always a
performer because, like you'reborn one, when you are one, it's
just, yeah, it just is like youcan feel it.
When you see somebody, or likewhen you interact with them,
it's like, oh, like they, theydo this or they do art or
something, you can feel it.
So I think that I think I wasborn to do that and I think all
(11:18):
of that sort of bleeds intoeverything that I do, even in
just living, like I feel, I evenfeel kind of performative, like
just walking down the streetsometimes, because I think
that's just how our brain works.
TJ (11:31):
But yeah, absolutely, I was going to say, I think, the one
of our first encounters.
When we first met, I got thesense of even even though,
because I want to say the firstwe met and like, went out to
dinner for the first time.
I had not actually interactedwith you yet, but I heard of you
and I want to say, whateverthat encounter was I can't
(11:54):
remember the restaurant that wewere at, but I very much was
like I feel like you're astoryteller, I feel like there's
something here that you're nottelling me, or, in this moment,
you're choosing not to show,like I feel like there's
something here that you're nottelling me or, in this moment,
you're choosing not to show.
William (12:13):
Do you find that you kind of shield some of those
pieces of you when you meetpeople or engage with certain
people, like when we met?
It was a very interestingsituation that I was in because
I felt like I was reallybattling with feeling like
worthy of even consideringmyself to be a performer.
(12:35):
When you experience so muchrejection, when you experience
people like not really seeingyou, it sort of makes you feel
like whatever whatever you knowwhat I mean.
But, like you say, you can kindof feel it anyway.
So it's not on purpose, but Ithink what you, um, what you
emanate, has to do with how youfeel and what you feel about
(12:57):
yourself.
Um, yeah, I agree, I agree.
TJ (13:02):
I feel like there is something unique about an artist
, a creative, a performer thatyou can sense.
I agree with you in thatstatement that there's just
something there that's palpable.
What do you think it is?
I don't know, but it's pureenergetically.
I don't know, because I canalways tell, even when I'm not
(13:26):
in New York and I go otherplaces and I meet someone I'm
like you're not I don't meanthis in a kind of way, but
you're not normal.
There's something there.
You're not normal, you're notaverage.
William (13:39):
But that's real though , and it's no shade.
But like I feel like there's anartist and then there's like an
average person, I feel likeartists, brains like it like,
operates on a different level.
I agree, yeah, which changedhow we express ourselves and
like yeah, yeah.
TJ (13:58):
They're very animated, and I don't mean to say that in a
weird way, but like veryanimated, very um, usually very
present and very aware um, veryobserv, very observant um, and
there is always color to theirstories, which I love, because
I'm like when you, when you meetsomeone and you, you know,
encounter them for the firsttime, or as you're even getting
(14:20):
to know someone, I feel like you, you have an opportunity to
really kind of shape theperspective, not in a bad way,
but you really get a chance toshape the perspective of you or
the other person.
And I feel like those are themoments where I'm like, oh, oh
yeah, like you're, you're givingme like something special here
that you probably wouldn't givesomeone else.
William (14:42):
Yeah.
TJ (14:43):
I love that.
Um, would you say that, withthese multiple parts of you,
what has kind of either neededthe most like love or attention
or specificity amongst them, orwhat has needed like time?
William (15:14):
starts crying.
No, I'm kidding no, okay, whatparts I'm gonna take.
One of those words, huh, I Ithink a lot of the times I'm
(15:37):
gonna take that question andkind of like I think I'm
answering it.
What I feel is I feel like inmy artist self there are like
different, different stages, ifthat makes any sense you with me
okay.
So I feel like I'm really,really strong in the like, in my
(16:01):
brain, in creation.
And then the next point when itcomes to like actualization,
like actually taking it fromhere and putting it out here,
that requires so much more work,so much more specificity and so
(16:21):
much more love, so kind of likeall the words that you said, I
feel like when there's a part ofyour artist's self, or let's
just say, your inner child, um,when it experiences a trauma, or
it's told that it's not worthy,or it's told that it's not
deserving, it takes work tobring it to a space where it's
(16:45):
like, yeah, it's okay, likeyou're not gonna die if you put
this out, no one's gonna hurtyou, yeah, no one's going to
harm you even if it's bad, yeah,yeah, which I'll be making
nothing bad I don't like youknow, but even if it was like,
nothing bad is gonna happen.
Yeah, and I feel like, um, uh,my podcast saves the house down
(17:09):
an audible original.
Yes, um, that was a rebirth forme.
Uh, like figuring out how totake an idea and actually put it
out, because when you're a kidit's so easy.
You're, you don't have all ofthat stuff or baggage.
(17:30):
Yeah, um, so I think that thatplace within my artist self it
needs even more.
TJ (17:39):
Um, just pushing and coaxing and like work and love and yeah
yeah, I say that is definitelysomething that I have learned in
the past.
I think almost a year of beingin therapy and finally realizing
that my, my inner child, isvery wounded.
(18:03):
Uh, and it's crazy, because Iwas talking to my best friend
the other night and I waswatching I Love Lucy.
Why is the throat clear?
Sorry, I was watching I LoveLucy and we were on the phone
(18:24):
and he was asking me what I waswatching and I was telling him I
was like I'm watching Lucy.
I realized in the moment I waslike wow, I I'm deeply connected
to the show via my childhoodbecause I would watch it every
night before bed and I knew ifit was on I was supposed to be
asleep um, that's me and Sex andthe City, but keep going
(18:48):
supposed to be asleep.
Um, that's me and sex in thecity, but keep going, because
there was um nick at night wouldcome on and it was.
I think it was.
I dream of genie bewitched,dick van dyke, and then I love
lucy and I think, because all ofthose shows are like half hours
, so there was like a two-hourtime frame and then I was like I
have to watch lucy, like if I'mup, I got to just watch it.
William (19:04):
Like you were up and you was grown.
Okay, yeah, and this is.
TJ (19:08):
this is like 12 year old me, yeah, um.
But I realized how connectedthat show is to my childhood and
how there's still so much stuffaround that that I'm still
discovering now.
Um, but in this whole journeythat I've had over the past year
of being in therapy, I'verealized I was like there's just
(19:30):
so much baggage that I did notrealize was there that I'm now,
you know, pulling shit out ofthe suitcase and trying to
figure out.
What do I do with this?
What do I do with this?
Oh, this makes me feel somekind of way.
What do I do with this?
William (19:44):
Exactly.
TJ (19:46):
Um.
So it's a very interestingplace to be and I think the more
we can as artists, as creatives, the more we can acknowledge
that and be present with it.
I think most of us will willcome out the other side better
than we planned.
William (20:03):
That, now that I think about that, that visual of like
taking things you literally ina can I curse?
yeah, a clusterfuck of likebeing or experiencing, like
being triggered and stuff likethat, like you really don't know
(20:23):
what to do with all thefeelings, so it does give yeah,
sorry but you know all of thatand it's like, yeah, but that's
going back to the differentpractices and stuff and about
like how, like all thosedifferent things can kind of
like help.
But then also I feel like wewere talking about this earlier
it's a point where, before that,people don't necessarily know
(20:46):
how to get to the space, to evenwhat.
If you're so down that youcan't pick up a sound bowl,
you're so down that you can'twrite in your journal, what do
you do?
TJ (20:58):
Yeah.
So let me tell you somethingthis is why the show is called T
with TJ because I have lookedat the bottom of a mug many a
times, not knowing what to do,and that has been living in New
York, being on tour, being inthe middle of this country, in
the middle of nowhere, incornfields, and trying to be
(21:19):
like what am I doing with mylife?
Why am I here?
Why is this moment happeningright now?
And I think that's granted,that was in my early 20s.
Why am I here?
Why is this moment happeningright now?
Um, and I think that's I mean,granted, you know that was in my
early twenties.
Um, so it was a different time,but I say that to say that,
like you're navigating so muchalready in that space.
Yeah, so then, to have all ofthese um triggers that are
(21:43):
affecting you in real time whileyou're trying to pursue your
dream, live your life, pay bills, live in this giant ass city
amongst millions, um, trying tostand out and trying to be
something and make something ofyourself.
Um, you know you don't havetime to go back and pull out all
of this stuff from the suitcase, right?
William (22:02):
you're trying to just survive, um I have a question
though yeah, what do you thinkso, now that you're like, you're
distanced from how old were you?
TJ (22:11):
like 20, uh, I mean it's various stages, but like my
first, the cornfieldspecifically, that was 23, 24
somewhere do you think you weredoing?
There.
I know now that I had to bethere.
I had to be there to get herebecause it taught me a lot In
(22:35):
the bigger picture of things,and I will say this that I've
always been the optimistic typeof person and always looking at
the bigger picture of like, yes,this moment sucks that I'm
currently in right now, but howdoes this affect my life as a
whole?
like 20 years from now, will Ibe able to reflect on this and
say I actually needed this tohappen, because this affected
(22:56):
this, and then this turned intothis and then this helped me get
to this?
Um, instead of throwing myhands up and saying, well, fuck
it all, I'm just gonna cuteverything off and get the fuck
out.
Um, but in that momentspecifically, I think it allowed
me because I was I'm just gonnashare what it was, um I was
(23:18):
like yeah, what is this?
uh, I was on this tour, uh,cliff of the Red Dog and I had
been going back and forth fromthe tour to New York to audition
for the National Tour.
William (23:36):
Oh period.
TJ (23:39):
It was the non-union tour, but it was the Broadway version
of that 25th anniversary thingthat had just happened.
And so the cities were werestill like a list cities, so
there were big cities and like alot of recognition.
You were still getting theoriginal director from the show
and all this kind of stuff likesomething that would have
propelled me forward, yeah, andI was flying back and forth,
(24:00):
flying back and forth, and gotto final callbacks I was like,
oh shit, I'm about to book this.
Like I'm about to be fuckingBenny in the rent national tour.
I can't believe I've gottenhere and did my callback, went
back to the tour.
I think we were in Californiaat the time and waited and,
waited, and waited and we werelike driving across the country
(24:21):
and I remember finally gettingthe email saying that we've gone
in a different direction, andbeing very, very heartbroken,
yeah, um, and disappointed andquestioning am I only good
enough for children's theater,you know, am I only good enough
(24:42):
for stories that are not enough,for stories that are not as
complex as I would like them tobe?
Because, in no shade toChildren's Theater, like I'm
grateful for that experience,looking back on it, because the
thing about Children's Theateris that kids don't lie, yeah,
they're honest.
William (25:00):
Children's Theater is.
TJ (25:00):
It's funny you know, but unfortunately the, the, the
industry does not necessarilyrecognize that specific.
I respect it.
William (25:10):
Yeah.
TJ (25:10):
Yeah.
And so there was a lot ofself-doubt and a lot of
searching and trying to figureout like well, should I even be
doing this or do I need to goback to New York?
Like what, what am I doing?
And I remember coming back,coming back home to New York,
and I think I was living I wasliving in Brooklyn at the time
(25:32):
and going to a few auditionshere and there, and it had been
a few months and I booked JesusChrist Superstar and it was
weird because and if anyone'sout there who knows me it was
weird because it was one ofthose giant massive like open
(25:53):
calls, like 300 people on thelist, like I hated those
auditions, 300 people on thelist but I got seen, got a
callback, but only a dancecallback, no sides.
William (26:06):
None of that.
TJ (26:07):
Just the dance callback.
I didn't go to the dancecallback because I was like it
was for their full season,because I was like I know what
show I want to do, I know whatshow I'm right for, I know what
role I'm right for and if I justget an opportunity I can prove
to you that you'll see it.
Yeah, and sure enough, I didn'tgo to the dance callback.
I got another email being likehey, we'd like to see you for
(26:29):
Jesus Christ Superstar forKaifus.
I said, hmm, isn't thatconvenient.
And I remember going into thecallback back when they would
like pair you with someone toget you like, like a chemistry
read.
Yeah, and I was paired with twoguys, one of which who ended up
being my roommate while I wasdoing that show.
(26:50):
But two guys and I could tell Iwas like neither one of you
have these low notes.
If, like, if this is the threeof us, it's gonna be me, and not
to sound cocky, but like, butyou know, you know in that
moment um, but then ultimatelybooking it, and that probably
was my best to date, I think,theatrical experience ever.
William (27:12):
Well, to more, to more experiences that are just as
wonderful and just as amazing ormore.
TJ (27:20):
Yeah, but I think if if I had not gone through this kind
of like kind of low ish placeafter the rent thing and decided
to like pick myself up and say,no, I want to do this.
I know that I'm actually goodat this, I know there's a place
for me here, I could have missedout on that.
Yeah, you know.
William (27:39):
Yeah, I grew up my entire life this is connecting,
I think.
But I grew up my entire lifesort of being praised for my
ability, like I.
I was always told that, youknow, even in college.
Like, oh, you're a beast.
Like you know what I mean.
Like you know, I was alwaystold that.
(27:59):
And I think, coming into thereal world and experiencing like
oh damn, you don't like mebecause I'm fat, wait a second.
No, you don't like me becauseI'm fat, wait a second.
No, you don't like me becauseyou know, whatever it, just a
whole bunch of different thingsthat never really played a
factor when I was younger.
Because, like you know, I wastelling my friend this the other
(28:22):
day I think I attached myselftoo much to my talent as a child
.
Like I did not, I didn't haveanything else.
Like I didn't think that I wasattractive, I didn't think that
I was necessarily smart, like Ijust even though I was.
Like, when I think back, like,oh, and I was cute too.
(28:44):
Like you know, it's just allthese things.
I just never thought.
But I just, but I'm talentedand I think I had to experience
the world saying no to me for meto sort of engage with the
other parts of myself to engagewith the fact that, oh, william,
(29:06):
you are beautiful, even if youdon't feel it, you are special,
you're smart, you're, you know,you are, you're everything.
Really, you really are and Ihad to learn that.
And then I really do think mylife got better when I started
(29:27):
to like, after the world told meno, and I started telling
myself, yes, things started toopen up a little.
TJ (29:35):
I love that.
I feel like there's um we're.
We're in alignment with thatthought, because I feel like I'm
entering that stage now,because I've even though I've
had this revelation of likecareer wise, I am confident and
good enough in know I have aplace in the industry at large,
(29:57):
but even just being like super,super specific with it I know or
I've had feelings of, but thereare three other people who are
better than me there are fourother people who can do it twice
as good, twice as fast as me.
And I think the space that I'vekind of inhabited now is very
(30:17):
much what you were saying oflike trying to realize and
understand and comprehend that Iam good enough, that I love
myself, that I'm smart so that Ican go out there and project
that and show that.
William (30:30):
And, more importantly, ain't nobody TJ.
TJ (30:35):
Yeah, yeah.
William (30:36):
Like I think, like, yeah, nobody is you, nobody is
William Sinclair Moore, exactly.
You may think like you, youreally you may, may think, but
nobody will do it like how youdo it.
Nobody will do it how I do it,like you know it.
We're so different, exactlyyeah, so many different lived
(30:59):
experiences like nobody couldcompare.
Yeah, yeah, you can't competewhere you don't compare.
Be careful, says like you know.
TJ (31:10):
I think that's.
That is where, at least for me,I feel like that's where it
gets a little dicey, becausealthough professionally, as an
actor front facing, you know Ican walk into a room confidently
and sing my 32 bars and be goodand I'm like I can come here
and do this all day, but themoment that I have to be
(31:31):
compared to somebody else, orthe moment that I am out in the
world just as tj not like tj theperformer.
There's a whole nother slew ofthings that exist that I'm like.
Oh yeah, I have to like rememberthis in this space too, not
just on stage, not just in anaudition room um, and so that's
(31:53):
kind of that, that space thatI'm trying to navigate now of
like, oh yeah, like I have toput these on the other pieces of
me too.
What do you think that's rootedin?
I mean, well, going back towhere we started this
conversation, the root chakra.
I think so much of so much ofmy childhood is probably glazed
(32:15):
over and not on purpose grew upwhere I grew up, not having
access to certain things andkind of just existing in an
environment where there was verylittle room for individuality.
(32:37):
You know, we were assimilatedto be church kids, to be school
kids, to be a part of thisnucleus of a family, um, but
very little room to explore thethings that, like, were of
interest to me are you a pk?
William (32:53):
yeah, yeah, who who knew, I'm sure multiple who I
didn't know that wow, yeah.
TJ (33:03):
so I mean, you know, with all of that kind of stuff
surrounding everything, I feellike, like you know, I didn't, I
didn't.
I expressed learning how toplay piano, wanting to learn,
but never got a lesson.
You know, I expressed myinterest in theater but until
shout out to my, until, likemiddle school, I had never seen
(33:26):
a Broadway show, I had neverseen a play show, I had never
seen a play like on stage yeah,didn't know musicals existed do
you think it was like yourparents, thinking that it wasn't
that important, or?
no, I think it.
I think it is like again, Ithink it's just based off of
where I was, because I grew upin Tennessee, because there was
no access yeah there was noaccess to it.
It's like the, the National Tourhouse had a show, maybe every
(33:49):
three to six months yeah um,especially back then, like we
were not listed as like an, acity like wicked did not come
there, lion king did not comethere until I think, when I was
what was it like 2006, somewherein there, like before I left?
Yeah, but that's also that'swhy it's so important to have
(34:11):
access to things and like makesure that we have inclusive
programs, and the list goes onand on.
William (34:18):
When I think about my childhood, I really realize
there there is a reason I am soinsane, okay, or that my brain
and my body and my spirit wantsto do so many things.
My parents like I love youparents.
(34:43):
I was doing everything.
Yeah, I was doing everythingand I didn't really focus on
anything until high school.
And that was when I was like,oh, yeah, this theater thing,
like because I started off inthe choir and then I was getting
(35:05):
bullied, yeah, a little bit,you know, like very in the
beginning, and I was like, oh,like I'm not going to go back.
So I didn't go back to choir.
But then I went to theater andit was connected to this youth
(35:27):
theater that I ended up likegraduating from, you know,
whenever I stayed there forthree years.
But the teacher on the firstday he was like, oh, you should
stay, you got something, and itreally just, I think we were
just doing like improv, you know.
But I was like, oh, wow, okay.
And but I think, like thereason why I do so much shit now
is because in most areas that Itried like I mean, I played
(35:48):
football, I played soccer, Iplayed baseball, I did karate, I
was on the debate team.
I was in theater, I was inchoir, I had a stint in the
anime club, like I, just like.
Okay, that girl.
No, you know Like talk about themany faces, but literally like
I, and I was pretty much alwaysaffirmed in everyone.
(36:10):
So it kind of made it a littleconfusing, you know, knowing
which way to go.
But I think what birthed allthose different selves was like
people being like yeah, I seethat for you.
And then, now that I thinkabout it, when, like the world
tells you no like in these, inthese different selves, it kind
of tells you to like close off.
(36:30):
So let's say it's somebodywho's like super expressive and
then someone like judges thatperson.
When they're expressive, it'slike, oh, wow, yeah, like I
shouldn't do that anymore, likeI shouldn't.
Yeah.
I was talking to my now partnerand they were talking about how
(36:51):
they would post like thesethings on social media about you
know, being Jamaican and stufflike that.
And somebody told them, oh,that's corny, like you shouldn't
do that anymore, like youshouldn't do that anymore.
And when I thought about that Iwas like, oh my God, like
people don't realize, like thewords that they say, like they
(37:15):
could even just be joking, buthow that makes someone close off
or it makes a part of someoneclose off, absolutely, yeah,
yeah.
TJ (37:25):
I was going to say.
That is that I I talk aboutthis with my best friend all the
time, about how words matterand, although some things can be
sarcastic and be colored acertain way, you unless, unless
(37:46):
you, you are meshed with thatperson lead with kindness.
Yeah, lead with compassion.
William (37:52):
Um, because you never know how something can actually
affect someone even if you are,you gotta be really sure,
because you know he was tellingme like, oh man, like I went so
long without actually likegiving that up on social media,
because pieces of us die whenthey're told no, yes, yes, and
(38:14):
pieces of us are birthed whenthey're told yes.
Like so much, life lives in ayes.
TJ (38:22):
Yeah, yeah.
William (38:24):
Yeah.
TJ (38:24):
Like the whole reason that I even exist in this form now is
because I said yes to pursuingtheater.
My original plan was to move toCalifornia and be a composer.
William (38:38):
I feel like I heard this in episode yeah, yeah, and
then you were like this isn'tthe dream anymore.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, can youimagine that's a different life
we have?
So, but who says that that pathwouldn't have been like dope
too?
Yeah, yeah, I just feel likethere's so many paths that we
can take and everything is sodivine and everything happens
(39:03):
happens when it's supposed to.
Um, yeah, just, say yes yeah,don't say no to people well come
on.
TJ (39:13):
Well, we are in our time what already?
William (39:17):
that's crazy.
So we're gonna do our little.
Last three no, no, I'm kiddingwe can um.
TJ (39:27):
That was that.
William (39:28):
That was beautiful I also have to say y'all um have
tj, make y'all some tea sometimeseriously, it's so good, it
really is.
I'm like, can I take a jar, youknow oh thank you thank you to
the world um, thank you, thankyou.
TJ (39:44):
Thank you so for doing this.
I appreciate having you on theshow.
It's been a long time coming.
William (39:50):
Yeah.
TJ (39:51):
But before we go, where can the folks find you?
William (39:55):
You can find me.
No, you can find me atSinclairism, on all platforms.
So that's S-I-N-C-L-A-I-R-I-Z-M.
All platforms.
Also at Sage the Collective.
That's my podcast and ourpodcast is on all streaming
platforms.
Sage the House Down, look Us Up.
TJ (40:18):
Me and my Best Friend, paige , love it alright, so this is
the portion of the show beforewe leave that I like to call the
last three.
You can answer how freely youwant, just to give our folks a
little bit of knowledge.
How do you practice gratitude?
William (41:01):
laughter.
My stomach answered um, youknow, for a really long while,
um, I had a gratitude journal,um, and I used to just write
down every morning um, threethings that I was happy about,
or three things that made mefeel good, because I felt really
, really bad.
Now it's in the small things Ido this one thing that I saw on
(41:24):
Instagram where this dude, he,he, he said you know, when
you're giving your money awayfor food, when you're out, say
thank you money and come backsoon, okay, and bring friends.
And I always do that.
Now and I I think, like, whenit comes to gratitude, I like to
(41:45):
think of it as, like you know,I hold on tightly, let go
lightly.
Like you know, I have it nowand I can just release it and
it's gonna come back even better.
Um, that's how I practice itbeing warm and sweet and nice to
things in my brain, so it comesback, I love that um?
TJ (42:07):
where do you find the most peace?
William (42:17):
In my authenticity.
When I'm pretending, I feelwrong there's something in my
physical makeup or inside mybody that I, I can't.
I can't be happy unless I'mbeing authentic, and I feel like
(42:39):
there are some people who, um,who can, but I can't.
I feel the most peace and Ifeel the most happy when I am
living through my authenticity.
TJ (42:51):
I love that.
And then final question wheredo you feel the most seen?
William (43:12):
I feel the most seen when I am speaking.
You don't even have to see me.
It's so crazy because I feellike it would have been a
different answer a couple ofyears ago.
I think, yeah, but you can hearso much in my voice.
My voice tells everything.
TJ (43:35):
Like.
William (43:36):
I can't lie.
You hear where I'm from.
You hear my mother, you hear mydad, you just you hear
everything in my voice.
I I feel the most seen um whenI'm speaking.
TJ (43:50):
I love that well again, thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you for doingthis.
This was great, um, and withthat, I'll see you next week.
Bye, and that's our show.
Friends, thanks for joining uson tea with tj.
(44:12):
Please rate, review andsubscribe, and you can find us
on instagram at tea with tjpodcast.
And, as always, stay kind, keepsipping and remember we're here
.
So we might as well do it.
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