January 3, 2024 • 28 mins
Join us on this journey where authenticity is not just a buzzword, but a pilgrimage into the heart of who we are. My conversation with the indomitable Justin G. Nelson peels back the layers on finding your true self and the power of embracing every facet of your talents. Together, we tackle the tough decisions—like establishing boundaries and knowing when to walk away from relationships that no longer serve our growth. This episode isn't just talk; it's about taking the solitary steps toward shedding the weights that hold us back and celebrating the unique individuals we are destined to be.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
TJ (00:15):
Hey friends, it's TJ.
And you're listening to Teawith TJ, where our love for tea,
conversation andself-improvement intersect.
So let's take a deeper diveinto my cup and let's have a
chat.
Hey friends, it's TJ.
So today we have a littlespecial guest, a very good
(00:39):
friend of mine, justin G Nelson,creative musical theater
performer, multi-hyphenatecontent creator, all around
amazing creator, and today weare having some Canadian maple.
So, justin, you're my firstguest.
Welcome to the show, thank you.
So I was like let's just sitand have a chat and have a
(01:02):
conversation over tea.
So I've been doing some and youknow this because we've had
multiple conversations about it.
I've been doing a lot of likeself-discovery and kind of just
really looking at my life as awhole as a creative, as a human,
as an actor, and I think one ofthe things that kind of that
(01:26):
our generation kind of struggleswith is being your most
authentic self.
I feel like we kind of put onfor people a lot and I don't
know where that comes from.
I'm curious to know yourthoughts on how do you find your
most authentic self?
Justin (01:48):
It's really funny because, you know, prior to me
sitting here right now, I didn'tknow what the topic was.
TJ (01:54):
At all.
I'm sitting here like, oh, whatare you?
Justin (01:55):
talking about Great, and this year, 2023, has been a
year of self-discovery, and Iwas telling a friend that my
word for 2024 is going to berecommitment.
I was like recommitting tomyself, and I find that for us,
(02:19):
born and raised in the South,the church had a lot to do with
us dimming our light, and I knowwe were preached and we're told
and we're taught to really, youknow, shine your light.
But the church is the sameplatform that causes you to.
You know, be humble aboutyourself and dim your light.
(02:41):
And so we go through this wholere-birthing of who we are Like.
Once you hit age 18, 21, 25,like those pivotal points, you
then hit that birthing part ofus, like, okay, who am I really
Like?
We spent our first 18 yearsliving up to our parents'
(03:03):
expectations and then we triedto live up to society's
expectations from 18 to 25.
And then, in 2016, you're justlike, okay, when am I going to
start living for me?
And it came a little late forme, but I can probably say I'm
finally living for Justin.
And so being my most authenticself took rejection, it took
(03:27):
isolation, it took loneliness,it took going through not
staying in, but going throughthese moments to build myself up
to know like, okay, enough isenough.
I need to start living for me,because a lot we talk about, a
lot you know, like life is tooshort to just be sitting by and
(03:49):
letting things and letting ourpassions like go to waste.
And so that's why I reallyembraced being a multi-hyphenate
, because God could have justsaid okay, I'm going to let you
sing and then see.
TJ (03:59):
He was just like.
Justin (04:00):
Oh you know, razzadazzle, you're a pot.
And he was pouring.
I was like hey, cut it out, butI'm grateful and so in doing so
like I, really I have to cutsome people off.
You know I had to be moreintentional about who got my
time, energy and everything andit gets lonely but it's so
rewarding because you don't haveto deal with all that energy
(04:25):
and those opinions and thosethink pieces and just like, just
be, just live.
So I hope that answered thequestion.
TJ (04:32):
Yeah, no, no, Okay great you touched on something, because I
feel like we're kind of in syncwhen it comes to like self
discovery and trying to figureout who we are in our place in
the world, and there there's apiece of letting a lot of people
go in order to do that, but Ifeel like our generation is
afraid to do, and so I'm curiousto know one, how did you
(04:59):
activate this idea of likeletting people go?
And then, two, you don't haveto call any names, sure, and so
that in letting those people go,have you found that they were
kind of like dead weight in away?
Justin (05:13):
Yes, so I started therapy three years ago and in
those three years the wordboundaries became like my theme
song.
And when I started to setboundaries they started to go
away, because I was always thatI want to say safe space and to
come to for whatever, but when Iwent to them they were not
(05:37):
available.
TJ (05:39):
So when.
Justin (05:40):
I said that boundary, it was just like I'm good, I'm
tired, I'm not available.
I was available, I just Ididn't have time.
Like I was pouring.
There were days, tj, I wouldget up, I would get coffee, I
would do whatever content forclients or myself and my phone
would just ring all day, 12 tosix, and it ain't work.
(06:01):
It's, I need this.
What do you think about this?
And phone calls like hours andI would listen.
I would listen because I knowthey needed it.
When I needed it.
I'm going to get back today ornext year Like when are you
calling me back?
And so I was fine with you know, sending that boundary.
(06:23):
And it got lonely because thosepeople like I found value in
being called and needed and itmade me feel important.
But then, when I needed them,it made me feel less than, and
so setting those boundaries itjust allowed me to really hone
in on things that I was settingaside for other people's needs.
TJ (06:47):
Did you feel like they were kind of dead weight and how did
that like affect you know, and?
Justin (06:51):
so I don't, I don't want to copy the dead weight.
I just I served their purpose.
You know, it was like a MarieKondo moment.
It was just like thank you foryour time, thank you for showing
me my value, thank you forshowing me that I was important
or I am important.
But also thank you for liketeaching me a lesson, or like
(07:13):
through mental health, like howto navigate certain people but
not lose myself in thenavigation with the people.
And so when I, when I, you know, we part ways, I didn't.
I don't burn bridges, I justdon't visit them as often
because you know there's morethan one way to get to Manhattan
(07:33):
and I'm just like hey.
I'm taking another detour.
And you know, no, love loss isjust no more love given.
TJ (07:40):
Yeah, I get that.
I mean because I definitelyfeel like I've had experiences
in my life that people have comeinto my life for a season, and
I know it's a cliche to say youknow people come into your life
for a reason or a season, but Ifind that that is true in saying
that you know, sometimes peoplearrive in your life at a
specific moment in time andthey're literally just there to
(08:02):
serve a purpose for thatparticular moment.
And I think the more we realize, understand and comprehend that
, the better off we'll be,because, unfortunately, I've
also witnessed this that, like alot of our generation, has kind
of clinging to people in a way.
Yeah, and they feel, and let me, let me go back for a second,
(08:26):
because I understand and knowthat we all want to be seen and
appreciated and loved and valuedby our peers, our friends, our
loved ones.
But I think you, it's very easyfor you to lose yourself when
you focus so much on everyoneelse and you stop focusing on
yourself.
Yes, and so, in this idea ofbeing your most authentic self,
(08:52):
I think it's a value to reallyunderstand that and to be okay
with that and to say you knowwhat?
Thank you for your time.
I appreciate you, but it's timeto move on, because now I have
to take care of myself.
So I'm curious to know, becausewe come from the same city, we
come from Memphis, we grew up inMemphis and you mentioned
(09:16):
something earlier about thechurch and I've yet to talk
about this on the show.
I've kind of hinted at the factthat I grew up very much, you
know, in the church.
I'm a preacher's kid.
But I'm curious to know howdoes your belief in your
(09:37):
spirituality align with the ideaof being your most authentic
self, with having to let certainpeople go out of your life, go
out of your life.
Justin (09:49):
You know I'm not a preacher's kid, I'm a Sunday
school's superintendent son andI love referencing scripture.
I do feel that at times peoplelove to throw scriptures out
there for, you know, for buzzand like click bait and things
(10:10):
like that.
But that scripture and I'm abutchering, but for I know the
plans I have for you, I say it'sthe Lord plans to prosper and
all of that.
And the other scripture, I cando all things through Christ.
Who's for this me?
So, like, I picked the versesthat are relevant to me,
resonate with me, that reallyuphold my purpose and my
(10:32):
principles of life, and reallyknow that through spiritual work
, even like with my Tantric Yogapractice or yoga or scripted
journaling, like those things Ialways just go back to the
chakras, Like whenever I don'tfeel aligned.
I buy a candle, either one ofthem, prayer candles, a yellow,
(10:53):
blue, whatever chakra is off,and I pray listen, I pray more
now than I did as a child.
I don't do the now, lay me downand sleep.
I'm like geez, let's talk,let's talk for me, and I
undivided attention.
I turn off everything and I justpray and, like through prayer
and journaling, I feel like moredoors have opened and more
(11:16):
blessings have come and all ofthat has allowed me to really
hone in on purpose and who it isthat I'm created to be, Like as
a cancer.
You know, we're the motherlysign and I've been a nurturer
for everyone, Like since thethird grade.
My third grade teacher was likehey, can you tutor?
(11:37):
I'm just like maybe this isyour job, but I did it because I
don't like to see people sufferand if I know that like 10
seconds or 10 minutes of my daywill help them redirect their
path or whatever it is, then Iwill do it because I feel like
that's my purpose.
But it took.
I mean, it gets exhausting andit gets draining, but I know
(11:59):
through prayer, through yoga,through meditation, through
those things I'm able to reallyfind more space for people but
also not carry their weight.
I can leave it there.
Oh me, oh baby, I'm takingeverybody's weight with me.
TJ (12:17):
You're coming with me.
Justin (12:18):
But now I'm just like okay, how do you feel?
Great we're leaving to get here, cause taking it with us won't
make anything better.
Okay, yep.
TJ (12:29):
You just mentioned something .
There's two things that I wannabring out the idea of purpose
and finding a purpose, I think,is something that I have
struggled with over the past fewyears and I've started to
really kind of hone in on thatand figure out where I belong
and my place in the universe andall of those things.
(12:49):
Because, similar to you withthis quote unquote religious
background or spiritualbackground, I grew up with a
very particular idea of you know, you do this to serve, you know
all of those things.
And the older I got and themore like life experience that I
(13:09):
had, I started to really kindof understand and open my mind
up to the world as a whole,right, and in that this like
self discovery and thisdiscovery of purpose has kind of
like come through.
And so I'm still on thatjourney now and I'm still trying
to figure it out, and I don'tthink it's something that
(13:31):
happens overnight, it issomething that will take time
and it takes practice and ittakes investment and you know
trying things and figuringthings out and all of that.
But how do you one, how did youcome to a place of figuring out
your purpose, or figuring outthat you needed to figure out
your purpose?
The therapy.
Justin (13:51):
My therapist hit me with it.
So, justin, what do you thinkyour purpose is in life?
What kind of question is that?
Like, what happened to what'syour favorite color and why?
And that really struck a chordwith me, because we be out here
willy-nilly, living life.
It's like, oh, I'm gonna get upand do this.
Like we have goals and we havethings we wanna achieve.
(14:13):
But then when you add purposeto that, it really shifts the
way you navigate things to getto those goals.
No-transcript, your purposecould be to start a revolution
or to end global warming, like,it's just like those things.
But knowing the impact you canhave with your purpose really
(14:36):
makes finding your purpose moreenjoyable, more rewarding.
And like you, like I mean, Istill, I'm still figuring out my
purpose.
Like maybe it's throughveganism, or maybe it's through
mental health and Christianity,maybe it's through performance,
like I don't know, but as amulti-hyphenate, every morning I
wake up like what do I want todeal with today?
(14:56):
And so I don't know.
It's just, it's, it's adiscovery.
And I think once you find yourpurpose, it's just like, oh.
But then you're like now what?
TJ (15:08):
Yeah, so it's just like exactly.
Justin (15:10):
Like do I want to find my purpose too quick or do I
want to keep going through, youknow, these loops and hoops and
things to to really understand?
TJ (15:19):
it.
But I feel like that's thething that like really kind of
allows you to enjoy life youknow in in this journey of
trying to figure out yourpurpose and your place in the
universe, it really kind ofinforms you to enjoy all of the
things that life has to offer,because I feel like I've gone
through multiple iterations ofmy purpose at this point.
We had a conversation last weekabout something that I used to
(15:42):
do in the church long, a longtime ago.
Justin (15:44):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
TJ (15:46):
That I'm considering revisiting only because it is.
It's something that speaks tome on a deeper level and that it
kind of it shifts me in a waythat performance doesn't if that
makes sense Like it speaks.
It speaks to my soul.
Justin (16:04):
And I'm glad you said that, because there's a
difference between performanceand ministry, but I'm we won't
talk about that here, but thereis a difference.
TJ (16:11):
So, yes, so there's something else that I have
mentioned on the podcast andI've referenced in the reference
that's been used specifically.
Okay, and so I want to bring itto the table today.
Oh, okay.
Justin (16:22):
Carmo.
TJ (16:22):
Journaling.
I did not journal until I can'tremember when that conversation
was, but it probably like threeor four years ago.
I think it was post-Nemo.
But you got me into journaling,oh, and you it.
You were very persistent, Verypersistent about it.
(16:43):
I was, and I was a littleapprehensive.
I was like you know, it's notfor me.
Justin (16:46):
I don't really, I'm not a writer Like.
TJ (16:48):
That's not my thing.
I'm a visual person, I liketactile experiences, but I'm
curious to know your journeywith journaling and where it
started and where you are now.
Justin (17:02):
So I'm going to go a little bit further.
So it was, I think it was 2018,and the whole world was in a
lot of war about this solareclipse.
That happened Like schools had,I think they canceled school or
something and people were onthe rooftops with their little
cereal boxes and aluminum foiltrying to see.
And I had a card reading it wasmy first tarot card reading and
(17:28):
I had just got crystals and myfriend bought me a journal that
said the best is yet to come,because she knew that was like
my life's mantra the best is yetto come.
And I journaled for the firsttime that day up under the solar
eclipse and I felt like youknow how, when you unlock a safe
and like it just clicks and Iwas just like what's going?
(17:52):
Like the shift started and Iwasn't consistent.
I was not consistent by anymeans necessary.
And then COVID happened andeverybody and their mama was on
TikTok talking about eitherthree, six, nine method or the
scripted journaling, or you knowhow in great school we had to
(18:12):
write like I will not cuz toteach her out, I would not like
multiple times and I was justlike did that work?
What's that it was.
It was torture, that's whatthat was.
But recently I was journalingand I was like thank you God,
university of my ancestors, forblessing me with my own
apartment in Brooklyn that Icould afford, that I could turn
(18:35):
into my creative space.
It came and I was just like nowI will say, with journaling, be
as detailed as possible becauseI didn't say.
I said that I did ask.
I didn't say thank you God,university of my ancestors, for
affordable apartment withoutmice and loud neighbors, and
(18:59):
like I wasn't in detail and thatwas something like I was trying
to be short with my manifest,my manifestations, I was just
like be as detailed as possible.
It's your time, take up as muchspace on the paper as you need.
And it was some other things Ijournaled about that came to
fruition.
A Broadway ain't happened yet.
It's coming, but I need to justkeep working on that.
(19:21):
But I've gotten close andgotten close, but it's just
pandemic started.
I think I'm on my third journalnow and I make it a habit.
I get up, I burn a little sagejust to cleanse whatever
negative energy the night before, crack a window and then I
listen to a YouTube channel thathas like affirmations playing
(19:41):
in the background and I journalfor the length of that video.
It's about 10 minutes and ifI'm done before they finish I'll
just sit and listen in silencewith it.
But I love journaling, allright.
TJ (19:54):
Amazing.
So I'm also curious to know, inthis idea of, like, finding
your most authentic self, howhas that aligned with you being
a multi hyphenate, you being acontent creator, like, how has
that aligned with those ideas?
Justin (20:14):
Well, I found out what exhaustion and burnout was for
trying to juggle too many thingsat once and I had to pause and
kind of reorganize things.
You know, like what do I wantto be known as or known for?
Yes, a multi hyphenate.
But like what leads this forceof multi hyphen is that's not a
(20:34):
word.
And so like I really honingback into like performance as my
base, and then everything willkind of fall under that.
So I've again going back tochakras.
So I was talking to my therapistlike we're besties and I was
saying that each one of thesemulti hyphenate avenues feed
(20:57):
into one of my chakras.
So if it's tantric yoga, it'smore of this.
The, the orange chakra thatdeals with like sex, and then
with the second Pew podcast, islike my root chakra, like really
grounding me and keeping mecentered, Earthy and cultured,
is like the stomach area,because you know, like gut,
health, food and all thosethings, and so it's on and so
(21:19):
forth.
So whenever I feel like I'm nottapping into one of those
things, I can feel it and I'mjust like, okay, let me, let me
figure out what I can do to feedthat chakra, and so I just feel
like those seven things balanceme out, to make me who I am,
and what I do.
TJ (21:39):
So then, how do you reckon with yourself when you can tell
that you're like feeling alittle off, or like you feel
like you're not in alignment?
Justin (21:45):
Grace because I'm still human and listen I after seeing
a renaissance, I do understand.
You know we don't have the same24 hours as Beyonce.
We also got the budget asBeyonce, but I can give myself
grace, knowing that rest isstill as important as work.
So if I don't create somethingthat day, it wasn't meant to be
(22:09):
created because I would becreating it from a place of
performance or the desire tohave to keep up.
Anyone, be authentic.
TJ (22:19):
I love that.
I love that there's definitelysome stuff there like that that
just spoke to me, because I feellike I ventured into this
podcast wanting to use this as aplatform to be my most
authentic self the good, the bad, the ugly, all of it.
(22:40):
And I've found that in theepisodes that I've done up until
now I have, I've gone back andlistened to and watched.
Once I added video and had kindof a realization where I was
like, oh, the it's, it's notjust one part of me, like every
subject, every topic, everythought, every discussion is so
(23:05):
well meshed into who I am as ahuman.
And I think, in listening to itmyself and like kind of you
know, critiquing, as, as we doas performers and, you know, as
content creators, I've been ableto go back and make adjustments
of like, oh, I really likedthis aspect of something, but
then I could tell that it wasn'tcoming off the way that I
(23:26):
wanted to, or from the idea ofpaper to production wasn't quite
the land, the landing that Iwanted.
And I'm curious to know, as acontent creator, do you struggle
with those moments where youfeel like you're doing something
and like you go back and look,or you've produced something and
you're like, oh, that's notquite as authentic as I wanted
(23:48):
it to be, or that's not quitethe mark that I wanted to hit.
Justin (23:53):
As a perfectionist yes, Absolutely.
TJ (23:56):
Like.
Justin (23:56):
I can make a reel and I would find every issue in the
real posted and I'm just like itwasn't that bad it wasn't that
bad at all.
Even when I'm doing so forchurch, I'm always just like
that could be better, that coulddo.
I could have done it.
And I've just learned to livewith it and know that there's
another chance and if I didn'tcatch it I will fix it the next
(24:17):
time.
But I'm not about to stressmyself out over something that I
want to say as little, becauseall content that we create has,
you know, purpose and it comesfrom somewhere.
But I'm gonna stress myself outover no more Uh-uh.
TJ (24:30):
No, not for no views.
Justin (24:31):
Uh-uh, we're good.
TJ (24:32):
We're good it's posted.
Are you at a place now whereyou feel like in being your most
authentic self?
You, you're, you're producingcontent that is completely
purposeful and like, regardlessof the amount of views or likes
or shares or whatever stillspeaks to you once it's out into
the world.
Justin (24:52):
Yes, because when I, when I first started Earthian
culture, it was just in thedistance health corner and that
was the lamest idea ever.
It was so it was.
TJ (25:01):
it was cute but I was just like that's not you.
Justin (25:04):
Like you're not the welcome to.
It wasn't me, but Earthianculture.
That was like the rebranding,the pandemic, and I was just
like.
This is me, like I can be mysarcastic I'm naturally
sarcastic, sarcastic self, butit's entertaining and that's
just who I am, and so I had toreally tap into it, cause for
(25:25):
the longest I didn't want to beon camera.
TJ (25:28):
I don't want to do any of this.
Justin (25:29):
I was just like no, everyone's like you should do.
I don't want to do that, Likeno.
And then people just likeyou're funny, I was just like I
know, but part of this funninessis trauma and it's just how it
shows up.
So you're going to get itregardless.
And now I record everything andI'm just like I'm going to do
it for me, because I it's a wayfor me to heal, it's a way for
me to get over my insecuritiesabout being on camera.
(25:52):
Cause for the longest.
I don't like my voice and Iwant to hear this.
You have a great voice, thankyou, but I don't want to hear it
.
But anyway, just doing it.
It was one reel I posted and Isaid that content creation has
become a way for me to heal anda way for me to just express who
I am and what I love to do.
(26:12):
And ever since then, thingshave just been great Interesting
.
I love that.
TJ (26:17):
So I'm gonna ask you three questions.
Justin (26:18):
Why you just asked me two.
Okay, I'm listening.
TJ (26:21):
They don't necessarily have to do with anything of the
subject, but just to get to knowyou, sure, what is your
favorite book?
Justin (26:29):
Do I have a favorite book?
I don't have favorites of musicor anything, but if I had to
pick a favorite book, that I've,ooh, ooh, okay.
So recently, my book club, wejust finished All About Love by
Bell Hooks.
When I tell you that book, it'schanged my life.
All About Love, Bell Hooks'favorite book yes.
TJ (26:52):
Okay, what brings you the most joy?
Justin (26:55):
Food.
TJ (26:56):
Okay, any specific food.
Justin (26:58):
Well, I mean, chinese food is a comfort food Okay,
kimchi is a comfort food, butjust the cooking.
Not eating the food, butcooking brings me joy because it
teaches me patience.
Great, now I sit on hot tea.
But it teaches me patience, itteaches me art, it teaches me
creativity, it just teaches me alot cooking in the kitchen.
TJ (27:21):
What's the most valuable lesson you've learned?
Justin (27:24):
Live life to the fullest.
I know it's cliche, but we'velost a lot of friends at early
ages who were just on theprecipice of their life and I
was just like I'm not livingenough.
Oh yeah, live life to thefullest.
I love it.
TJ (27:39):
Well, thank you for coming on the show.
Oh, my God, thank you forhaving me and tell the folks
where they can find you.
Justin (27:45):
Sorry, Hi, you can find me all over the world Instagram
, facebook, twitter, snapchat,linkedin, tiktok.
All at Justin G Nelson.
TJ (28:01):
And with that, that's our show friends, and I'll see you
next week.
And that's our show friends.
Thanks for joining us on Teawith TJ.
Please rate, review andsubscribe, and you can find us
on Instagram at tea with TJpodcast.
And, as always, stay kind, keepsipping and remember we're here
(28:23):
.
So you might as well do it andyou might as well do it.
Hey friends, it's TJ.
And you're listening to Teawith TJ, where our love for tea,
conversation andself-improvement intersect.
So let's take a deeper diveinto my cup and let's have a
chat.
Hey friends, it's TJ.
So today we have a littlespecial guest, a very good
(00:39):
friend of mine, justin G Nelson,creative musical theater
performer, multi-hyphenatecontent creator, all around
amazing creator, and today weare having some Canadian maple.
So, justin, you're my firstguest.
Welcome to the show, thank you.
So I was like let's just sitand have a chat and have a
(01:02):
conversation over tea.
So I've been doing some and youknow this because we've had
multiple conversations about it.
I've been doing a lot of likeself-discovery and kind of just
really looking at my life as awhole as a creative, as a human,
as an actor, and I think one ofthe things that kind of that
(01:26):
our generation kind of struggleswith is being your most
authentic self.
I feel like we kind of put onfor people a lot and I don't
know where that comes from.
I'm curious to know yourthoughts on how do you find your
most authentic self?
Justin (01:48):
It's really funny because, you know, prior to me
sitting here right now, I didn'tknow what the topic was.
TJ (01:54):
At all.
I'm sitting here like, oh, whatare you?
Justin (01:55):
talking about Great, and this year, 2023, has been a
year of self-discovery, and Iwas telling a friend that my
word for 2024 is going to berecommitment.
I was like recommitting tomyself, and I find that for us,
(02:19):
born and raised in the South,the church had a lot to do with
us dimming our light, and I knowwe were preached and we're told
and we're taught to really, youknow, shine your light.
But the church is the sameplatform that causes you to.
You know, be humble aboutyourself and dim your light.
(02:41):
And so we go through this wholere-birthing of who we are Like.
Once you hit age 18, 21, 25,like those pivotal points, you
then hit that birthing part ofus, like, okay, who am I really
Like?
We spent our first 18 yearsliving up to our parents'
(03:03):
expectations and then we triedto live up to society's
expectations from 18 to 25.
And then, in 2016, you're justlike, okay, when am I going to
start living for me?
And it came a little late forme, but I can probably say I'm
finally living for Justin.
And so being my most authenticself took rejection, it took
(03:27):
isolation, it took loneliness,it took going through not
staying in, but going throughthese moments to build myself up
to know like, okay, enough isenough.
I need to start living for me,because a lot we talk about, a
lot you know, like life is tooshort to just be sitting by and
(03:49):
letting things and letting ourpassions like go to waste.
And so that's why I reallyembraced being a multi-hyphenate
, because God could have justsaid okay, I'm going to let you
sing and then see.
TJ (03:59):
He was just like.
Justin (04:00):
Oh you know, razzadazzle, you're a pot.
And he was pouring.
I was like hey, cut it out, butI'm grateful and so in doing so
like I, really I have to cutsome people off.
You know I had to be moreintentional about who got my
time, energy and everything andit gets lonely but it's so
rewarding because you don't haveto deal with all that energy
(04:25):
and those opinions and thosethink pieces and just like, just
be, just live.
So I hope that answered thequestion.
TJ (04:32):
Yeah, no, no, Okay great you touched on something, because I
feel like we're kind of in syncwhen it comes to like self
discovery and trying to figureout who we are in our place in
the world, and there there's apiece of letting a lot of people
go in order to do that, but Ifeel like our generation is
afraid to do, and so I'm curiousto know one, how did you
(04:59):
activate this idea of likeletting people go?
And then, two, you don't haveto call any names, sure, and so
that in letting those people go,have you found that they were
kind of like dead weight in away?
Justin (05:13):
Yes, so I started therapy three years ago and in
those three years the wordboundaries became like my theme
song.
And when I started to setboundaries they started to go
away, because I was always thatI want to say safe space and to
come to for whatever, but when Iwent to them they were not
(05:37):
available.
TJ (05:39):
So when.
Justin (05:40):
I said that boundary, it was just like I'm good, I'm
tired, I'm not available.
I was available, I just Ididn't have time.
Like I was pouring.
There were days, tj, I wouldget up, I would get coffee, I
would do whatever content forclients or myself and my phone
would just ring all day, 12 tosix, and it ain't work.
(06:01):
It's, I need this.
What do you think about this?
And phone calls like hours andI would listen.
I would listen because I knowthey needed it.
When I needed it.
I'm going to get back today ornext year Like when are you
calling me back?
And so I was fine with you know, sending that boundary.
(06:23):
And it got lonely because thosepeople like I found value in
being called and needed and itmade me feel important.
But then, when I needed them,it made me feel less than, and
so setting those boundaries itjust allowed me to really hone
in on things that I was settingaside for other people's needs.
TJ (06:47):
Did you feel like they were kind of dead weight and how did
that like affect you know, and?
Justin (06:51):
so I don't, I don't want to copy the dead weight.
I just I served their purpose.
You know, it was like a MarieKondo moment.
It was just like thank you foryour time, thank you for showing
me my value, thank you forshowing me that I was important
or I am important.
But also thank you for liketeaching me a lesson, or like
(07:13):
through mental health, like howto navigate certain people but
not lose myself in thenavigation with the people.
And so when I, when I, you know, we part ways, I didn't.
I don't burn bridges, I justdon't visit them as often
because you know there's morethan one way to get to Manhattan
(07:33):
and I'm just like hey.
I'm taking another detour.
And you know, no, love loss isjust no more love given.
TJ (07:40):
Yeah, I get that.
I mean because I definitelyfeel like I've had experiences
in my life that people have comeinto my life for a season, and
I know it's a cliche to say youknow people come into your life
for a reason or a season, but Ifind that that is true in saying
that you know, sometimes peoplearrive in your life at a
specific moment in time andthey're literally just there to
(08:02):
serve a purpose for thatparticular moment.
And I think the more we realize, understand and comprehend that
, the better off we'll be,because, unfortunately, I've
also witnessed this that, like alot of our generation, has kind
of clinging to people in a way.
Yeah, and they feel, and let me, let me go back for a second,
(08:26):
because I understand and knowthat we all want to be seen and
appreciated and loved and valuedby our peers, our friends, our
loved ones.
But I think you, it's very easyfor you to lose yourself when
you focus so much on everyoneelse and you stop focusing on
yourself.
Yes, and so, in this idea ofbeing your most authentic self,
(08:52):
I think it's a value to reallyunderstand that and to be okay
with that and to say you knowwhat?
Thank you for your time.
I appreciate you, but it's timeto move on, because now I have
to take care of myself.
So I'm curious to know, becausewe come from the same city, we
come from Memphis, we grew up inMemphis and you mentioned
(09:16):
something earlier about thechurch and I've yet to talk
about this on the show.
I've kind of hinted at the factthat I grew up very much, you
know, in the church.
I'm a preacher's kid.
But I'm curious to know howdoes your belief in your
(09:37):
spirituality align with the ideaof being your most authentic
self, with having to let certainpeople go out of your life, go
out of your life.
Justin (09:49):
You know I'm not a preacher's kid, I'm a Sunday
school's superintendent son andI love referencing scripture.
I do feel that at times peoplelove to throw scriptures out
there for, you know, for buzzand like click bait and things
(10:10):
like that.
But that scripture and I'm abutchering, but for I know the
plans I have for you, I say it'sthe Lord plans to prosper and
all of that.
And the other scripture, I cando all things through Christ.
Who's for this me?
So, like, I picked the versesthat are relevant to me,
resonate with me, that reallyuphold my purpose and my
(10:32):
principles of life, and reallyknow that through spiritual work
, even like with my Tantric Yogapractice or yoga or scripted
journaling, like those things Ialways just go back to the
chakras, Like whenever I don'tfeel aligned.
I buy a candle, either one ofthem, prayer candles, a yellow,
(10:53):
blue, whatever chakra is off,and I pray listen, I pray more
now than I did as a child.
I don't do the now, lay me downand sleep.
I'm like geez, let's talk,let's talk for me, and I
undivided attention.
I turn off everything and I justpray and, like through prayer
and journaling, I feel like moredoors have opened and more
(11:16):
blessings have come and all ofthat has allowed me to really
hone in on purpose and who it isthat I'm created to be, Like as
a cancer.
You know, we're the motherlysign and I've been a nurturer
for everyone, Like since thethird grade.
My third grade teacher was likehey, can you tutor?
(11:37):
I'm just like maybe this isyour job, but I did it because I
don't like to see people sufferand if I know that like 10
seconds or 10 minutes of my daywill help them redirect their
path or whatever it is, then Iwill do it because I feel like
that's my purpose.
But it took.
I mean, it gets exhausting andit gets draining, but I know
(11:59):
through prayer, through yoga,through meditation, through
those things I'm able to reallyfind more space for people but
also not carry their weight.
I can leave it there.
Oh me, oh baby, I'm takingeverybody's weight with me.
TJ (12:17):
You're coming with me.
Justin (12:18):
But now I'm just like okay, how do you feel?
Great we're leaving to get here, cause taking it with us won't
make anything better.
Okay, yep.
TJ (12:29):
You just mentioned something .
There's two things that I wannabring out the idea of purpose
and finding a purpose, I think,is something that I have
struggled with over the past fewyears and I've started to
really kind of hone in on thatand figure out where I belong
and my place in the universe andall of those things.
(12:49):
Because, similar to you withthis quote unquote religious
background or spiritualbackground, I grew up with a
very particular idea of you know, you do this to serve, you know
all of those things.
And the older I got and themore like life experience that I
(13:09):
had, I started to really kindof understand and open my mind
up to the world as a whole,right, and in that this like
self discovery and thisdiscovery of purpose has kind of
like come through.
And so I'm still on thatjourney now and I'm still trying
to figure it out, and I don'tthink it's something that
(13:31):
happens overnight, it issomething that will take time
and it takes practice and ittakes investment and you know
trying things and figuringthings out and all of that.
But how do you one, how did youcome to a place of figuring out
your purpose, or figuring outthat you needed to figure out
your purpose?
The therapy.
Justin (13:51):
My therapist hit me with it.
So, justin, what do you thinkyour purpose is in life?
What kind of question is that?
Like, what happened to what'syour favorite color and why?
And that really struck a chordwith me, because we be out here
willy-nilly, living life.
It's like, oh, I'm gonna get upand do this.
Like we have goals and we havethings we wanna achieve.
(14:13):
But then when you add purposeto that, it really shifts the
way you navigate things to getto those goals.
No-transcript, your purposecould be to start a revolution
or to end global warming, like,it's just like those things.
But knowing the impact you canhave with your purpose really
(14:36):
makes finding your purpose moreenjoyable, more rewarding.
And like you, like I mean, Istill, I'm still figuring out my
purpose.
Like maybe it's throughveganism, or maybe it's through
mental health and Christianity,maybe it's through performance,
like I don't know, but as amulti-hyphenate, every morning I
wake up like what do I want todeal with today?
(14:56):
And so I don't know.
It's just, it's, it's adiscovery.
And I think once you find yourpurpose, it's just like, oh.
But then you're like now what?
TJ (15:08):
Yeah, so it's just like exactly.
Justin (15:10):
Like do I want to find my purpose too quick or do I
want to keep going through, youknow, these loops and hoops and
things to to really understand?
TJ (15:19):
it.
But I feel like that's thething that like really kind of
allows you to enjoy life youknow in in this journey of
trying to figure out yourpurpose and your place in the
universe, it really kind ofinforms you to enjoy all of the
things that life has to offer,because I feel like I've gone
through multiple iterations ofmy purpose at this point.
We had a conversation last weekabout something that I used to
(15:42):
do in the church long, a longtime ago.
Justin (15:44):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
TJ (15:46):
That I'm considering revisiting only because it is.
It's something that speaks tome on a deeper level and that it
kind of it shifts me in a waythat performance doesn't if that
makes sense Like it speaks.
It speaks to my soul.
Justin (16:04):
And I'm glad you said that, because there's a
difference between performanceand ministry, but I'm we won't
talk about that here, but thereis a difference.
TJ (16:11):
So, yes, so there's something else that I have
mentioned on the podcast andI've referenced in the reference
that's been used specifically.
Okay, and so I want to bring itto the table today.
Oh, okay.
Justin (16:22):
Carmo.
TJ (16:22):
Journaling.
I did not journal until I can'tremember when that conversation
was, but it probably like threeor four years ago.
I think it was post-Nemo.
But you got me into journaling,oh, and you it.
You were very persistent, Verypersistent about it.
(16:43):
I was, and I was a littleapprehensive.
I was like you know, it's notfor me.
Justin (16:46):
I don't really, I'm not a writer Like.
TJ (16:48):
That's not my thing.
I'm a visual person, I liketactile experiences, but I'm
curious to know your journeywith journaling and where it
started and where you are now.
Justin (17:02):
So I'm going to go a little bit further.
So it was, I think it was 2018,and the whole world was in a
lot of war about this solareclipse.
That happened Like schools had,I think they canceled school or
something and people were onthe rooftops with their little
cereal boxes and aluminum foiltrying to see.
And I had a card reading it wasmy first tarot card reading and
(17:28):
I had just got crystals and myfriend bought me a journal that
said the best is yet to come,because she knew that was like
my life's mantra the best is yetto come.
And I journaled for the firsttime that day up under the solar
eclipse and I felt like youknow how, when you unlock a safe
and like it just clicks and Iwas just like what's going?
(17:52):
Like the shift started and Iwasn't consistent.
I was not consistent by anymeans necessary.
And then COVID happened andeverybody and their mama was on
TikTok talking about eitherthree, six, nine method or the
scripted journaling, or you knowhow in great school we had to
(18:12):
write like I will not cuz toteach her out, I would not like
multiple times and I was justlike did that work?
What's that it was.
It was torture, that's whatthat was.
But recently I was journalingand I was like thank you God,
university of my ancestors, forblessing me with my own
apartment in Brooklyn that Icould afford, that I could turn
(18:35):
into my creative space.
It came and I was just like nowI will say, with journaling, be
as detailed as possible becauseI didn't say.
I said that I did ask.
I didn't say thank you God,university of my ancestors, for
affordable apartment withoutmice and loud neighbors, and
(18:59):
like I wasn't in detail and thatwas something like I was trying
to be short with my manifest,my manifestations, I was just
like be as detailed as possible.
It's your time, take up as muchspace on the paper as you need.
And it was some other things Ijournaled about that came to
fruition.
A Broadway ain't happened yet.
It's coming, but I need to justkeep working on that.
(19:21):
But I've gotten close andgotten close, but it's just
pandemic started.
I think I'm on my third journalnow and I make it a habit.
I get up, I burn a little sagejust to cleanse whatever
negative energy the night before, crack a window and then I
listen to a YouTube channel thathas like affirmations playing
(19:41):
in the background and I journalfor the length of that video.
It's about 10 minutes and ifI'm done before they finish I'll
just sit and listen in silencewith it.
But I love journaling, allright.
TJ (19:54):
Amazing.
So I'm also curious to know, inthis idea of, like, finding
your most authentic self, howhas that aligned with you being
a multi hyphenate, you being acontent creator, like, how has
that aligned with those ideas?
Justin (20:14):
Well, I found out what exhaustion and burnout was for
trying to juggle too many thingsat once and I had to pause and
kind of reorganize things.
You know, like what do I wantto be known as or known for?
Yes, a multi hyphenate.
But like what leads this forceof multi hyphen is that's not a
(20:34):
word.
And so like I really honingback into like performance as my
base, and then everything willkind of fall under that.
So I've again going back tochakras.
So I was talking to my therapistlike we're besties and I was
saying that each one of thesemulti hyphenate avenues feed
(20:57):
into one of my chakras.
So if it's tantric yoga, it'smore of this.
The, the orange chakra thatdeals with like sex, and then
with the second Pew podcast, islike my root chakra, like really
grounding me and keeping mecentered, Earthy and cultured,
is like the stomach area,because you know, like gut,
health, food and all thosethings, and so it's on and so
(21:19):
forth.
So whenever I feel like I'm nottapping into one of those
things, I can feel it and I'mjust like, okay, let me, let me
figure out what I can do to feedthat chakra, and so I just feel
like those seven things balanceme out, to make me who I am,
and what I do.
TJ (21:39):
So then, how do you reckon with yourself when you can tell
that you're like feeling alittle off, or like you feel
like you're not in alignment?
Justin (21:45):
Grace because I'm still human and listen I after seeing
a renaissance, I do understand.
You know we don't have the same24 hours as Beyonce.
We also got the budget asBeyonce, but I can give myself
grace, knowing that rest isstill as important as work.
So if I don't create somethingthat day, it wasn't meant to be
(22:09):
created because I would becreating it from a place of
performance or the desire tohave to keep up.
Anyone, be authentic.
TJ (22:19):
I love that.
I love that there's definitelysome stuff there like that that
just spoke to me, because I feellike I ventured into this
podcast wanting to use this as aplatform to be my most
authentic self the good, the bad, the ugly, all of it.
(22:40):
And I've found that in theepisodes that I've done up until
now I have, I've gone back andlistened to and watched.
Once I added video and had kindof a realization where I was
like, oh, the it's, it's notjust one part of me, like every
subject, every topic, everythought, every discussion is so
(23:05):
well meshed into who I am as ahuman.
And I think, in listening to itmyself and like kind of you
know, critiquing, as, as we doas performers and, you know, as
content creators, I've been ableto go back and make adjustments
of like, oh, I really likedthis aspect of something, but
then I could tell that it wasn'tcoming off the way that I
(23:26):
wanted to, or from the idea ofpaper to production wasn't quite
the land, the landing that Iwanted.
And I'm curious to know, as acontent creator, do you struggle
with those moments where youfeel like you're doing something
and like you go back and look,or you've produced something and
you're like, oh, that's notquite as authentic as I wanted
(23:48):
it to be, or that's not quitethe mark that I wanted to hit.
Justin (23:53):
As a perfectionist yes, Absolutely.
TJ (23:56):
Like.
Justin (23:56):
I can make a reel and I would find every issue in the
real posted and I'm just like itwasn't that bad it wasn't that
bad at all.
Even when I'm doing so forchurch, I'm always just like
that could be better, that coulddo.
I could have done it.
And I've just learned to livewith it and know that there's
another chance and if I didn'tcatch it I will fix it the next
(24:17):
time.
But I'm not about to stressmyself out over something that I
want to say as little, becauseall content that we create has,
you know, purpose and it comesfrom somewhere.
But I'm gonna stress myself outover no more Uh-uh.
TJ (24:30):
No, not for no views.
Justin (24:31):
Uh-uh, we're good.
TJ (24:32):
We're good it's posted.
Are you at a place now whereyou feel like in being your most
authentic self?
You, you're, you're producingcontent that is completely
purposeful and like, regardlessof the amount of views or likes
or shares or whatever stillspeaks to you once it's out into
the world.
Justin (24:52):
Yes, because when I, when I first started Earthian
culture, it was just in thedistance health corner and that
was the lamest idea ever.
It was so it was.
TJ (25:01):
it was cute but I was just like that's not you.
Justin (25:04):
Like you're not the welcome to.
It wasn't me, but Earthianculture.
That was like the rebranding,the pandemic, and I was just
like.
This is me, like I can be mysarcastic I'm naturally
sarcastic, sarcastic self, butit's entertaining and that's
just who I am, and so I had toreally tap into it, cause for
(25:25):
the longest I didn't want to beon camera.
TJ (25:28):
I don't want to do any of this.
Justin (25:29):
I was just like no, everyone's like you should do.
I don't want to do that, Likeno.
And then people just likeyou're funny, I was just like I
know, but part of this funninessis trauma and it's just how it
shows up.
So you're going to get itregardless.
And now I record everything andI'm just like I'm going to do
it for me, because I it's a wayfor me to heal, it's a way for
me to get over my insecuritiesabout being on camera.
(25:52):
Cause for the longest.
I don't like my voice and Iwant to hear this.
You have a great voice, thankyou, but I don't want to hear it
.
But anyway, just doing it.
It was one reel I posted and Isaid that content creation has
become a way for me to heal anda way for me to just express who
I am and what I love to do.
(26:12):
And ever since then, thingshave just been great Interesting
.
I love that.
TJ (26:17):
So I'm gonna ask you three questions.
Justin (26:18):
Why you just asked me two.
Okay, I'm listening.
TJ (26:21):
They don't necessarily have to do with anything of the
subject, but just to get to knowyou, sure, what is your
favorite book?
Justin (26:29):
Do I have a favorite book?
I don't have favorites of musicor anything, but if I had to
pick a favorite book, that I've,ooh, ooh, okay.
So recently, my book club, wejust finished All About Love by
Bell Hooks.
When I tell you that book, it'schanged my life.
All About Love, Bell Hooks'favorite book yes.
TJ (26:52):
Okay, what brings you the most joy?
Justin (26:55):
Food.
TJ (26:56):
Okay, any specific food.
Justin (26:58):
Well, I mean, chinese food is a comfort food Okay,
kimchi is a comfort food, butjust the cooking.
Not eating the food, butcooking brings me joy because it
teaches me patience.
Great, now I sit on hot tea.
But it teaches me patience, itteaches me art, it teaches me
creativity, it just teaches me alot cooking in the kitchen.
TJ (27:21):
What's the most valuable lesson you've learned?
Justin (27:24):
Live life to the fullest.
I know it's cliche, but we'velost a lot of friends at early
ages who were just on theprecipice of their life and I
was just like I'm not livingenough.
Oh yeah, live life to thefullest.
I love it.
TJ (27:39):
Well, thank you for coming on the show.
Oh, my God, thank you forhaving me and tell the folks
where they can find you.
Justin (27:45):
Sorry, Hi, you can find me all over the world Instagram
, facebook, twitter, snapchat,linkedin, tiktok.
All at Justin G Nelson.
TJ (28:01):
And with that, that's our show friends, and I'll see you
next week.
And that's our show friends.
Thanks for joining us on Teawith TJ.
Please rate, review andsubscribe, and you can find us
on Instagram at tea with TJpodcast.
And, as always, stay kind, keepsipping and remember we're here
(28:23):
.
So you might as well do it andyou might as well do it.
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