July 10, 2024 • 25 mins
Have you ever wondered what truly fuels creativity and resilience in the face of life's challenges? Join me, TJ, as we wrap up an enlightening season two of Tea with TJ with heartfelt reflections and transformative moments from our incredible guests. From the unexpected joy found on a farm to the profound revelations brought on by the pandemic, this episode is a tapestry of inspiration and hope. We'll share personal stories of overcoming rejection and finding healing through creative expression, all while highlighting the importance of being a role model for younger generations and the transformative power of shared happiness.
In this special finale, we dive deep into the emotional impact of familial relationships and the alignment inherent in storytelling. You'll hear about the resilience that laughter and gratitude can bring, and how self-assurance can be a comforting companion through life's ups and downs. We also explore the fears that keep us up at night and the inspiration we draw from our achievements, both personal and professional. Lastly, we underscore the vital importance of representation and visibility, celebrating the love we find within ourselves and the drive to uplift underrepresented communities. Don't miss this heartwarming conclusion to season two and get ready for even more inspiring stories in season three.
Join us in conversation on socials:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
TJ (00:15):
Hey friends, it's TJ, and you're listening to Tea with TJ,
where our love for tea,conversation and
self-improvement intersect.
So let's take a deeper diveinto my cup and let's have a
chat.
Hey friends, it's TJ.
(00:35):
In honor of this amazingjourney that has been Tea with
TJ, and to close out season two,which has been a very
eye-opening and inspiring seasonfor myself, I thought I'd share
some of my favorite momentsfrom our guests from season two.
At the end of each episode, Iask guests what I've coined as
the last three, three questionsunrelated to the topic of their
(00:58):
individual episode, to give thema chance to share their own
perspective and insight fromtheir lived experiences.
So, with that, enjoy thisspecial episode of Tea with TJ
and I'll see you in season three.
So what inspires you the most?
Morgan (01:18):
The first thing that came to my mind was like people
coming after me, people comingafter me in whatever capacity
that is like, whether it's likea child or me, and like a child
that came from me, or like amentor or somebody who's wants
to do what I'm doing, or youknow just, I just think that
(01:44):
positive influences and rolemodels are so important and if I
can do something to givesomebody a little hope, you know
I want to, I want to do.
I got 17,000 nieces and nephewsgod, god, children and you know
if I can just like this is alittle vain, but it it, all it.
(02:09):
It makes my heart smile, likewhen I talk to my little cousins
or I talk to my nieces andnephews and they say, morgan,
you still in, you still in newyork, and I'm like, yeah, and he
like you, you doing a show,when is your show?
You doing a show?
Or I'll be like, yeah, becauseit's, it's cute, you know,
(02:29):
because I remember, you knowlike seeing people when I was
younger and be like, wow, that'scool.
You know like yeah, so yeah,little little people I love that
TJ (02:38):
or big people you know, where specifically, and this
could be metaphorically or aphysical place, but where do you
find the most joy?
Morgan (02:50):
whoa from people who also want to be joyful I feel,
like in spaces where people alsowant to experience joy.
That's where the most joyhappens, naturally, you know,
because I could say like oh, youknow around people that I love
(03:13):
or people who love me, butsometimes they suck, you know.
And you know because sometimes Isuck, you know, depending on
what's going on.
You know I might be in a funk,you know.
But yeah, and in a good plateof food, and you mix them two
together.
Yeah, oh, maybe with a littlechampagne yeah, yeah that's a
(03:36):
joyful combination.
TJ (03:37):
It is it is if you were not performing, what would you be
doing?
Morgan (03:44):
something with food.
Okay, like whether that's likeI said I want to.
I see myself on a farm, like I,that that's a whole, it's I,
it's I.
Got a whole like plan in myhead, something, something
dealing with food.
I see, I see myself on a farm.
(04:04):
I need to like whether it'slike gathering vegetables,
harvesting and not evenvegetables, like all kinds of
food.
Um, because it's people say allthe time food is medicine and it
sounds like very hippie, drSeabee-ish, you know, but like
it's not a lie, you know, and Ifeel like if people knew that
(04:30):
Lil Debbie cakes number onedon't taste good and number two
are literally plastic and a realcinnamon bun is not that hard
to make and, yes, it got somesugar in it's, got some bread in
it, but it's so much better foryou than you eating that, that
(04:51):
stuff out of a package.
And you eating three cinnamonbun, three little debbie cakes,
in one sitting is worse for youthan if you made a whole tray of
homemade cinnamon buns and ateall of them.
You know, like I don't know, Ijust, oh Jesus, some something
(05:17):
to, something to do with food.
I, I used to me and my mamaused to.
Um, I really want a sandwichshop or wanted one.
I don't really know what thatis about anymore, but I see
myself in a kitchen and in afarm Farm.
To kitchen it also goes with,like, the body.
You know what I was talkingabout.
(05:38):
I just, I really think that'simportant.
And then food goes hand in hand, you know.
And then food goes hand in hand, you know, um, very, very, very
, very passionate about the bodyand how it relates to food and
how, if we are aware of what'sgoing on in our body, how we can
fix it and we can heal it athome.
TJ (06:02):
Yeah, you know if you could tell your younger self anything,
what would you tell?
Justin (06:08):
you're gonna make me cry .
Um, oh god.
Let's see if I can tell littlejustin it's going to be okay,
it's going to work out.
TJ (06:20):
Yes I love that.
Yes, um, what would you say wasthe pivotal moment for you as
an artist?
Justin (06:28):
the pandemic?
Yeah, I know it's, it's.
Everyone was just like it wasthe word.
It was the best time my life.
Yeah, yes, why.
It just allowed me to tap intomore creative things, like I had
allowed so many things that Ido, just to lie dormant or
become like a survival thing,and didn't find the joy in it.
I just saw the money that cameout of it and now I'm just like
(06:49):
I find joy in doing this, thankspandemic.
TJ (06:51):
I love that.
Yeah, I feel like I discovereda lot during the pandemic, um,
and then finally, okay, whatwould you say has been the most
healing experience as a creative?
Justin (07:04):
the most healing experience as a creative I I
think the rejection I know, Iknow, I know it's like counter,
you know whatever, but like therejection allowed me to go.
It kind of punched me and itwas just like why are you doing
this?
Get back in the game.
But like, learn the lesson anddon't do it again.
(07:26):
And so the rejection kind ofhelped shape me to who I am.
TJ (07:31):
What do you value the most?
Ashley (07:33):
What do I value the most?
Oh, the first thing that cameto mind was compassion.
TJ (07:41):
Hmm, yes, absolutely.
Ashley (07:45):
It's a hard world out there and if you don't feel for
other people, you're going tohave a really lonely, really
hard time.
Yeah, yeah.
TJ (07:55):
I love that.
Ashley (07:55):
Yeah, okay.
TJ (08:00):
Where do you feel your heart lives?
Ashley (08:06):
TJ, you and these golly .
Where do I feel my heart lives,tj, you and these golly.
Where do I feel my heart lives?
Where it is nurtured.
TJ (08:18):
I love that that's a good answer.
Ashley (08:25):
That changes.
I mean, and there are timeswhere the place that your heart
was, that it was nurtured,sometimes you take a step away
from that because the flavorschanged for a minute yeah and
you go do something else, findsomewhere else where your heart
is nurtured, and then you can.
You can always go back you canalways go back exactly but um,
(08:46):
yeah, I think I think which alsoties into compassion like you
have really have to accept umgive and accept love freely
because that's the mostimportant thing to me?
TJ (09:03):
I agree, I agree.
And then final question whoinspires you the most important
thing to me?
I agree, I agree.
And then final question whoinspires you the most?
Ashley (09:13):
These very, very deep questions, I'm probably going to
say my mom, she is just awonderful woman.
I think moms in general arelike yeah are gorgeous, profound
creatures who are again full ofcompassion, full of love, um,
(09:34):
truly are nurturing people, um,and I think being able to give
people safety, to be able to bevulnerable like that is a gift
that my mom gave me a long timeago where do you find yourself
(09:54):
most aligned?
Jaxin (09:56):
where do I find myself most aligned?
I think it's, I wanted to say,performing, and, yes, on stage,
but not just the stage, stage,but teaching, speaking, right, I
feel like when I am, um, likeusing my abilities as a
storyteller I guess that'sreally what it comes down to is
(10:20):
when I feel most aligned.
So, be that in a play, doingstand-up, or teaching a class,
you know um, I think deliveringa story and using all of my
abilities to help connect peopleto something right because
that's essentially what that isright, um is when I feel at most
(10:40):
in alignment nice, um whatopens your heart the most?
laughter.
I love to laugh.
Yeah, making me laugh is like,yeah, I mean, it literally opens
my heart, you know.
And also, I think being able toshare a sense of humor with
(11:00):
someone is, you know, usuallysymbolic of a real deep
connection.
TJ (11:04):
So laughter is is.
I mean I know it's so clichebut when people say laughter is
medicine, but it truly is.
It can change lives and mindsand hearts.
Jaxin (11:15):
My favorite thing is those moments when you're in
tears with your friends, youknow, when you're just laughing
so hard that you're crying andyour stomach hurts, like those
are the most beautiful momentsto me.
TJ (11:27):
Yeah.
And then final question whatwould you want your last words
to be?
Jaxin (11:33):
Thank you.
TJ (11:36):
Oh, that's beautiful.
That's beautiful.
Love that.
Oh my gosh, that's amazing.
Jaxin (11:43):
Yeah, I think happiness is the ultimate expression, or I
say gratitude is the ultimateexpression of happiness, and I
really want to be happy, I wantto die happy and I think, you
know, being filled withgratitude is when I feel the
happiest.
TJ (11:58):
What are you most grateful for?
Bernard (12:08):
I am most grateful for all the things that I thought
were set to destroy me, but wereactually lessons that helped me
become the person that I amtoday.
That's what I'm most gratefulfor.
I wasn't always, but today I'mgrateful for that.
Oh my God, that's what I'm mostgrateful for.
I wasn't always, but today I'mgrateful for that.
TJ (12:25):
Oh my God, that's beautiful.
Yeah, if you were not an operasinger or a performer, what
would you be doing?
Bernard (12:38):
Well, I would either be a mechanic engineer,
mechanical engineer, or anautomotive engineer, because I
love cars, I love designing.
But if that hadn't worked out,I may be a medical professional,
probably a nurse.
TJ (12:53):
I was going to say you give very much acts of service.
I get that, I completely getthat.
And then last question whatbrings you the most peace?
Bernard (13:05):
what brings me the most peace is knowing, having a
deep knowing that I'm gonna beokay, that no matter what
happens, no matter who comes orgoes, I can take care of myself
and that I am going to be okay.
TJ (13:23):
What are you afraid of the most?
Derric (13:26):
Ooh, wow, um, that's that's actually going to get
kind of deep here and I that'sgonna.
I hope I don't scare anybody,but, um, what I'm afraid of the
most is my grandparents passingand me not being able to, you
(13:47):
know, show up um, and that fearhas kind of already recently
come true.
Um, one of my grandparents justrecently passed, so it's been
interesting dealing with youknow that and everything with
that.
TJ (14:02):
But yeah, just to be honest I appreciate it, I love it, um
what inspires you the most?
Derric (14:15):
oh, my brother, he's my biggest inspiration.
He's an actor, he's a rapperproducer, he has a master's he's
you know he's, he's doing itand he's definitely my biggest
inspiration for continuing tostrive and and not let anything
(14:36):
hold me back.
And, you know, just take the,take the life by the horns and,
you know, get it done.
So.
TJ (14:45):
And then final question where do you feel the most seen?
Derric (14:51):
Oh wow, Um, where do I feel the most seen?
That's.
That's a really interestingquestion.
When I look in the mirror Now,that's when I feel the most seen
(15:17):
, that's beautiful.
TJ (15:21):
Where do you find the most love?
Oh?
Chethan (15:27):
oh, my god, you know I want to say myself.
That's right if that's like.
I don't want to sound so cliche, but I've worked.
I've worked pretty hard myselfthe last couple years and I have
to say, like I don't have apartner, I'm single, so it's
been a lot of myself.
And then I luckily have theseamazing nieces and nephews that
I see at least a couple times amonth and they are so much joy
(15:52):
and I just like look at them andI'm so in love and like if I
need to look at a littlerecharge, I go up there and then
like they scream and run andgive you a hug and like they're
so excited to see you and thatjust kind of reminds you that
you are loved in all spaces.
You know that you're good in.
And so yeah, that's where Ithink.
TJ (16:11):
What inspires you the most?
What?
Chethan (16:13):
inspires me the most, this kind of weird need to want
to shift the perspective onqueer indian entertainers.
You know, like there's so manyindian people in this world and
(16:37):
there's like even lessrepresentation of us, especially
here, and that kind of fuels me, that kind of inspires me.
It's like I want to f up thefucking baseline on this, like
why aren't we everywhere, like,why aren't we in fashion?
Why aren't we, like you know,like more of this, like more
queer indian drag, more queerindian spaces and like
(17:00):
performances and all that likeso that in the back of my mind
is like I'm trying to createthose things yeah, yeah.
TJ (17:07):
We need way more representation in this world.
I'm like this world is so muchmore diverse than we like to
pretend that it isn't.
And then final question wherewould you be if you were not in
new york city?
Chethan (17:26):
so I tried la for five years and I, you know, I went
because like, where else wouldyou go as a performer?
And plus, like sunshine andgorgeous weather.
But something in me like if Iwasn't here london I've never
been, but I don't know why forlike years in like London.
Could London be a good spot,like I don't know?
(17:49):
Something is very enticingabout London what brings you the
most joy.
Jai (17:55):
I'm gonna get all deep now, cause, cause I have I've been
dreaming about I didn't call ita podcast when I dreamt it, but
I've been dreaming about doingthis for years at least um,
maybe 15, maybe longer but I'vebeen dreaming about talking to
(18:19):
us, about us, for since.
I can think of anything thatI've wanted to do and the idea
that I get to do this this iswhat you black gay people,
(18:48):
people who love black gay peopleMore often than not from behind
this mic, but I get to hear ourstories from every corner of
the world.
That brings me joy, like I get.
I remember the first time I gota dm from somebody who said
(19:11):
thank god, I found you and I waslike, who me like?
At the time I didn't knowanything about metrics and
numbers and reach, all of that.
I just, you know, recordedsomething, shared it on my
Facebook timeline and moved onand went back to work, and so to
(19:33):
get a DM on Instagram, when Ididn't even have my Instagram
connected to the podcast,especially.
But the fact that this personsought me out to say thank you
and for every thank you that Iget that they don't know what
they did for me minutes with meon Wednesdays, or an hour on
(20:01):
Thursday night.
However, they engage with ushas created a way for me to live
out my dream.
So every DM, every share, everycrazy comment, every one of
them, I count them all joy.
TJ (20:20):
I love that.
That was beautiful.
What are you most proud of?
Jai (20:29):
Um, most proud of my body, mm, hmm, I, when I was growing
up, I was like I was 130 poundswhen I graduated high school and
I was 137 when I graduatedcollege.
So the fact that I've gone fromthere to this is what I am.
(20:53):
I mean, in addition to it's the, it's the more superficial
thing that I'm proud of, but Icelebrate it every day, and I
mean full disclosure, like it.
Had my body not changed, had Inot worked on it, I wouldn't
have leaned into nudism the wayI have, I would not have been as
comfortable in leather, I wouldnot have discovered things that
(21:18):
I'm genuinely interested in andderive pleasure from, had I not
walked myself through atransformation.
So my experience as a Black gayman has been enriched by the
fact that I got thicker, andhaving gotten thick helped me
(21:39):
understand and appreciate andrespect and honor the thickness
of other people, like when I wasskinny.
I used to like skinny boys and Ididn't.
And if you had, you know, ifyou were 200 pounds, then hell
no.
But now I'm 220.
And so I can.
I can appreciate someone who isskinny.
I can appreciate someone who'sa lot thicker than me.
(21:59):
I can appreciate the big girls.
I can appreciate all differentkinds of bodies because my body
has undergone a transformation.
Now it is one that I havecontrolled and contributed to,
but I've changed, my optionschanged, but also my perspective
changed.
TJ (22:18):
Final question when do you find beauty in the world In the
eyes of black men.
Jai (22:30):
I think that there's a poem that was on I think it was the
Image Awards one year, and oneof the lines said black is hard
to do.
The image awards one year, andone of the lines said black is
hard to do, um, and it is likelesser human beings could not
walk in the shoes of black men.
(22:50):
Yeah, and to know everythingthat black men could could go
through like my life has beensoft compared to a lot of the
experiences that I hear fromothers, but to know all the
trauma and the abuse and theinsult and the offense that we
(23:16):
can and do endure every day,knowing that and you can still
find the light, you can stillfind the light, you can still
find the joy, I think that isabsolutely beautiful.
TJ (23:35):
Thank you so much for listening to this very special
episode of Tea with TJ.
It's been an amazing journeyand I never in a million years
thought that I would become apodcast host or a podcaster, so
it means the world to me thatyou are actively listening to
the show.
We are going to start seasonthree in August, so make sure
(23:55):
you subscribe to the show so youdon't miss any episodes.
We have some fun guests comingup.
And just a reminder, if you donot follow us on Instagram or
TikTok or YouTube, we're on allof those platforms at Tea with
TJ podcast and I'd love to hearfrom you.
Please reach out, comment onsome of the videos, screenshot
(24:17):
your favorite episode and tag mein it.
I'd love to hear from you and ifyou really enjoy the show or
have a favorite episode, shareit with someone that you think
might enjoy it as well.
We'd love to get the podcastout into more ears.
So with that, I will see you inthe new season starting in
August and that's our show.
(24:38):
Friends, thanks for joining uson Tea with TJ.
Please rate, review andsubscribe.
Thanks for joining us on Teawith TJ.
Please rate, review andsubscribe, and you can find us
on Instagram at Tea with TJPodcast and, as always, stay
kind, keep sipping and rememberwe're here, so we might as well
do it.
Thank you.
Hey friends, it's TJ, and you're listening to Tea with TJ,
where our love for tea,conversation and
self-improvement intersect.
So let's take a deeper diveinto my cup and let's have a
chat.
Hey friends, it's TJ.
(00:35):
In honor of this amazingjourney that has been Tea with
TJ, and to close out season two,which has been a very
eye-opening and inspiring seasonfor myself, I thought I'd share
some of my favorite momentsfrom our guests from season two.
At the end of each episode, Iask guests what I've coined as
the last three, three questionsunrelated to the topic of their
(00:58):
individual episode, to give thema chance to share their own
perspective and insight fromtheir lived experiences.
So, with that, enjoy thisspecial episode of Tea with TJ
and I'll see you in season three.
So what inspires you the most?
Morgan (01:18):
The first thing that came to my mind was like people
coming after me, people comingafter me in whatever capacity
that is like, whether it's likea child or me, and like a child
that came from me, or like amentor or somebody who's wants
to do what I'm doing, or youknow just, I just think that
(01:44):
positive influences and rolemodels are so important and if I
can do something to givesomebody a little hope, you know
I want to, I want to do.
I got 17,000 nieces and nephewsgod, god, children and you know
if I can just like this is alittle vain, but it it, all it.
(02:09):
It makes my heart smile, likewhen I talk to my little cousins
or I talk to my nieces andnephews and they say, morgan,
you still in, you still in newyork, and I'm like, yeah, and he
like you, you doing a show,when is your show?
You doing a show?
Or I'll be like, yeah, becauseit's, it's cute, you know,
(02:29):
because I remember, you knowlike seeing people when I was
younger and be like, wow, that'scool.
You know like yeah, so yeah,little little people I love that
TJ (02:38):
or big people you know, where specifically, and this
could be metaphorically or aphysical place, but where do you
find the most joy?
Morgan (02:50):
whoa from people who also want to be joyful I feel,
like in spaces where people alsowant to experience joy.
That's where the most joyhappens, naturally, you know,
because I could say like oh, youknow around people that I love
(03:13):
or people who love me, butsometimes they suck, you know.
And you know because sometimes Isuck, you know, depending on
what's going on.
You know I might be in a funk,you know.
But yeah, and in a good plateof food, and you mix them two
together.
Yeah, oh, maybe with a littlechampagne yeah, yeah that's a
(03:36):
joyful combination.
TJ (03:37):
It is it is if you were not performing, what would you be
doing?
Morgan (03:44):
something with food.
Okay, like whether that's likeI said I want to.
I see myself on a farm, like I,that that's a whole, it's I,
it's I.
Got a whole like plan in myhead, something, something
dealing with food.
I see, I see myself on a farm.
(04:04):
I need to like whether it'slike gathering vegetables,
harvesting and not evenvegetables, like all kinds of
food.
Um, because it's people say allthe time food is medicine and it
sounds like very hippie, drSeabee-ish, you know, but like
it's not a lie, you know, and Ifeel like if people knew that
(04:30):
Lil Debbie cakes number onedon't taste good and number two
are literally plastic and a realcinnamon bun is not that hard
to make and, yes, it got somesugar in it's, got some bread in
it, but it's so much better foryou than you eating that, that
(04:51):
stuff out of a package.
And you eating three cinnamonbun, three little debbie cakes,
in one sitting is worse for youthan if you made a whole tray of
homemade cinnamon buns and ateall of them.
You know, like I don't know, Ijust, oh Jesus, some something
(05:17):
to, something to do with food.
I, I used to me and my mamaused to.
Um, I really want a sandwichshop or wanted one.
I don't really know what thatis about anymore, but I see
myself in a kitchen and in afarm Farm.
To kitchen it also goes with,like, the body.
You know what I was talkingabout.
(05:38):
I just, I really think that'simportant.
And then food goes hand in hand, you know.
And then food goes hand in hand, you know, um, very, very, very
, very passionate about the bodyand how it relates to food and
how, if we are aware of what'sgoing on in our body, how we can
fix it and we can heal it athome.
TJ (06:02):
Yeah, you know if you could tell your younger self anything,
what would you tell?
Justin (06:08):
you're gonna make me cry .
Um, oh god.
Let's see if I can tell littlejustin it's going to be okay,
it's going to work out.
TJ (06:20):
Yes I love that.
Yes, um, what would you say wasthe pivotal moment for you as
an artist?
Justin (06:28):
the pandemic?
Yeah, I know it's, it's.
Everyone was just like it wasthe word.
It was the best time my life.
Yeah, yes, why.
It just allowed me to tap intomore creative things, like I had
allowed so many things that Ido, just to lie dormant or
become like a survival thing,and didn't find the joy in it.
I just saw the money that cameout of it and now I'm just like
(06:49):
I find joy in doing this, thankspandemic.
TJ (06:51):
I love that.
Yeah, I feel like I discovereda lot during the pandemic, um,
and then finally, okay, whatwould you say has been the most
healing experience as a creative?
Justin (07:04):
the most healing experience as a creative I I
think the rejection I know, Iknow, I know it's like counter,
you know whatever, but like therejection allowed me to go.
It kind of punched me and itwas just like why are you doing
this?
Get back in the game.
But like, learn the lesson anddon't do it again.
(07:26):
And so the rejection kind ofhelped shape me to who I am.
TJ (07:31):
What do you value the most?
Ashley (07:33):
What do I value the most?
Oh, the first thing that cameto mind was compassion.
TJ (07:41):
Hmm, yes, absolutely.
Ashley (07:45):
It's a hard world out there and if you don't feel for
other people, you're going tohave a really lonely, really
hard time.
Yeah, yeah.
TJ (07:55):
I love that.
Ashley (07:55):
Yeah, okay.
TJ (08:00):
Where do you feel your heart lives?
Ashley (08:06):
TJ, you and these golly .
Where do I feel my heart lives,tj, you and these golly.
Where do I feel my heart lives?
Where it is nurtured.
TJ (08:18):
I love that that's a good answer.
Ashley (08:25):
That changes.
I mean, and there are timeswhere the place that your heart
was, that it was nurtured,sometimes you take a step away
from that because the flavorschanged for a minute yeah and
you go do something else, findsomewhere else where your heart
is nurtured, and then you can.
You can always go back you canalways go back exactly but um,
(08:46):
yeah, I think I think which alsoties into compassion like you
have really have to accept umgive and accept love freely
because that's the mostimportant thing to me?
TJ (09:03):
I agree, I agree.
And then final question whoinspires you the most important
thing to me?
I agree, I agree.
And then final question whoinspires you the most?
Ashley (09:13):
These very, very deep questions, I'm probably going to
say my mom, she is just awonderful woman.
I think moms in general arelike yeah are gorgeous, profound
creatures who are again full ofcompassion, full of love, um,
(09:34):
truly are nurturing people, um,and I think being able to give
people safety, to be able to bevulnerable like that is a gift
that my mom gave me a long timeago where do you find yourself
(09:54):
most aligned?
Jaxin (09:56):
where do I find myself most aligned?
I think it's, I wanted to say,performing, and, yes, on stage,
but not just the stage, stage,but teaching, speaking, right, I
feel like when I am, um, likeusing my abilities as a
storyteller I guess that'sreally what it comes down to is
(10:20):
when I feel most aligned.
So, be that in a play, doingstand-up, or teaching a class,
you know um, I think deliveringa story and using all of my
abilities to help connect peopleto something right because
that's essentially what that isright, um is when I feel at most
(10:40):
in alignment nice, um whatopens your heart the most?
laughter.
I love to laugh.
Yeah, making me laugh is like,yeah, I mean, it literally opens
my heart, you know.
And also, I think being able toshare a sense of humor with
(11:00):
someone is, you know, usuallysymbolic of a real deep
connection.
TJ (11:04):
So laughter is is.
I mean I know it's so clichebut when people say laughter is
medicine, but it truly is.
It can change lives and mindsand hearts.
Jaxin (11:15):
My favorite thing is those moments when you're in
tears with your friends, youknow, when you're just laughing
so hard that you're crying andyour stomach hurts, like those
are the most beautiful momentsto me.
TJ (11:27):
Yeah.
And then final question whatwould you want your last words
to be?
Jaxin (11:33):
Thank you.
TJ (11:36):
Oh, that's beautiful.
That's beautiful.
Love that.
Oh my gosh, that's amazing.
Jaxin (11:43):
Yeah, I think happiness is the ultimate expression, or I
say gratitude is the ultimateexpression of happiness, and I
really want to be happy, I wantto die happy and I think, you
know, being filled withgratitude is when I feel the
happiest.
TJ (11:58):
What are you most grateful for?
Bernard (12:08):
I am most grateful for all the things that I thought
were set to destroy me, but wereactually lessons that helped me
become the person that I amtoday.
That's what I'm most gratefulfor.
I wasn't always, but today I'mgrateful for that.
Oh my God, that's what I'm mostgrateful for.
I wasn't always, but today I'mgrateful for that.
TJ (12:25):
Oh my God, that's beautiful.
Yeah, if you were not an operasinger or a performer, what
would you be doing?
Bernard (12:38):
Well, I would either be a mechanic engineer,
mechanical engineer, or anautomotive engineer, because I
love cars, I love designing.
But if that hadn't worked out,I may be a medical professional,
probably a nurse.
TJ (12:53):
I was going to say you give very much acts of service.
I get that, I completely getthat.
And then last question whatbrings you the most peace?
Bernard (13:05):
what brings me the most peace is knowing, having a
deep knowing that I'm gonna beokay, that no matter what
happens, no matter who comes orgoes, I can take care of myself
and that I am going to be okay.
TJ (13:23):
What are you afraid of the most?
Derric (13:26):
Ooh, wow, um, that's that's actually going to get
kind of deep here and I that'sgonna.
I hope I don't scare anybody,but, um, what I'm afraid of the
most is my grandparents passingand me not being able to, you
(13:47):
know, show up um, and that fearhas kind of already recently
come true.
Um, one of my grandparents justrecently passed, so it's been
interesting dealing with youknow that and everything with
that.
TJ (14:02):
But yeah, just to be honest I appreciate it, I love it, um
what inspires you the most?
Derric (14:15):
oh, my brother, he's my biggest inspiration.
He's an actor, he's a rapperproducer, he has a master's he's
you know he's, he's doing itand he's definitely my biggest
inspiration for continuing tostrive and and not let anything
(14:36):
hold me back.
And, you know, just take the,take the life by the horns and,
you know, get it done.
So.
TJ (14:45):
And then final question where do you feel the most seen?
Derric (14:51):
Oh wow, Um, where do I feel the most seen?
That's.
That's a really interestingquestion.
When I look in the mirror Now,that's when I feel the most seen
(15:17):
, that's beautiful.
TJ (15:21):
Where do you find the most love?
Oh?
Chethan (15:27):
oh, my god, you know I want to say myself.
That's right if that's like.
I don't want to sound so cliche, but I've worked.
I've worked pretty hard myselfthe last couple years and I have
to say, like I don't have apartner, I'm single, so it's
been a lot of myself.
And then I luckily have theseamazing nieces and nephews that
I see at least a couple times amonth and they are so much joy
(15:52):
and I just like look at them andI'm so in love and like if I
need to look at a littlerecharge, I go up there and then
like they scream and run andgive you a hug and like they're
so excited to see you and thatjust kind of reminds you that
you are loved in all spaces.
You know that you're good in.
And so yeah, that's where Ithink.
TJ (16:11):
What inspires you the most?
What?
Chethan (16:13):
inspires me the most, this kind of weird need to want
to shift the perspective onqueer indian entertainers.
You know, like there's so manyindian people in this world and
(16:37):
there's like even lessrepresentation of us, especially
here, and that kind of fuels me, that kind of inspires me.
It's like I want to f up thefucking baseline on this, like
why aren't we everywhere, like,why aren't we in fashion?
Why aren't we, like you know,like more of this, like more
queer indian drag, more queerindian spaces and like
(17:00):
performances and all that likeso that in the back of my mind
is like I'm trying to createthose things yeah, yeah.
TJ (17:07):
We need way more representation in this world.
I'm like this world is so muchmore diverse than we like to
pretend that it isn't.
And then final question wherewould you be if you were not in
new york city?
Chethan (17:26):
so I tried la for five years and I, you know, I went
because like, where else wouldyou go as a performer?
And plus, like sunshine andgorgeous weather.
But something in me like if Iwasn't here london I've never
been, but I don't know why forlike years in like London.
Could London be a good spot,like I don't know?
(17:49):
Something is very enticingabout London what brings you the
most joy.
Jai (17:55):
I'm gonna get all deep now, cause, cause I have I've been
dreaming about I didn't call ita podcast when I dreamt it, but
I've been dreaming about doingthis for years at least um,
maybe 15, maybe longer but I'vebeen dreaming about talking to
(18:19):
us, about us, for since.
I can think of anything thatI've wanted to do and the idea
that I get to do this this iswhat you black gay people,
(18:48):
people who love black gay peopleMore often than not from behind
this mic, but I get to hear ourstories from every corner of
the world.
That brings me joy, like I get.
I remember the first time I gota dm from somebody who said
(19:11):
thank god, I found you and I waslike, who me like?
At the time I didn't knowanything about metrics and
numbers and reach, all of that.
I just, you know, recordedsomething, shared it on my
Facebook timeline and moved onand went back to work, and so to
(19:33):
get a DM on Instagram, when Ididn't even have my Instagram
connected to the podcast,especially.
But the fact that this personsought me out to say thank you
and for every thank you that Iget that they don't know what
they did for me minutes with meon Wednesdays, or an hour on
(20:01):
Thursday night.
However, they engage with ushas created a way for me to live
out my dream.
So every DM, every share, everycrazy comment, every one of
them, I count them all joy.
TJ (20:20):
I love that.
That was beautiful.
What are you most proud of?
Jai (20:29):
Um, most proud of my body, mm, hmm, I, when I was growing
up, I was like I was 130 poundswhen I graduated high school and
I was 137 when I graduatedcollege.
So the fact that I've gone fromthere to this is what I am.
(20:53):
I mean, in addition to it's the, it's the more superficial
thing that I'm proud of, but Icelebrate it every day, and I
mean full disclosure, like it.
Had my body not changed, had Inot worked on it, I wouldn't
have leaned into nudism the wayI have, I would not have been as
comfortable in leather, I wouldnot have discovered things that
(21:18):
I'm genuinely interested in andderive pleasure from, had I not
walked myself through atransformation.
So my experience as a Black gayman has been enriched by the
fact that I got thicker, andhaving gotten thick helped me
(21:39):
understand and appreciate andrespect and honor the thickness
of other people, like when I wasskinny.
I used to like skinny boys and Ididn't.
And if you had, you know, ifyou were 200 pounds, then hell
no.
But now I'm 220.
And so I can.
I can appreciate someone who isskinny.
I can appreciate someone who'sa lot thicker than me.
(21:59):
I can appreciate the big girls.
I can appreciate all differentkinds of bodies because my body
has undergone a transformation.
Now it is one that I havecontrolled and contributed to,
but I've changed, my optionschanged, but also my perspective
changed.
TJ (22:18):
Final question when do you find beauty in the world In the
eyes of black men.
Jai (22:30):
I think that there's a poem that was on I think it was the
Image Awards one year, and oneof the lines said black is hard
to do.
The image awards one year, andone of the lines said black is
hard to do, um, and it is likelesser human beings could not
walk in the shoes of black men.
(22:50):
Yeah, and to know everythingthat black men could could go
through like my life has beensoft compared to a lot of the
experiences that I hear fromothers, but to know all the
trauma and the abuse and theinsult and the offense that we
(23:16):
can and do endure every day,knowing that and you can still
find the light, you can stillfind the light, you can still
find the joy, I think that isabsolutely beautiful.
TJ (23:35):
Thank you so much for listening to this very special
episode of Tea with TJ.
It's been an amazing journeyand I never in a million years
thought that I would become apodcast host or a podcaster, so
it means the world to me thatyou are actively listening to
the show.
We are going to start seasonthree in August, so make sure
(23:55):
you subscribe to the show so youdon't miss any episodes.
We have some fun guests comingup.
And just a reminder, if you donot follow us on Instagram or
TikTok or YouTube, we're on allof those platforms at Tea with
TJ podcast and I'd love to hearfrom you.
Please reach out, comment onsome of the videos, screenshot
(24:17):
your favorite episode and tag mein it.
I'd love to hear from you and ifyou really enjoy the show or
have a favorite episode, shareit with someone that you think
might enjoy it as well.
We'd love to get the podcastout into more ears.
So with that, I will see you inthe new season starting in
August and that's our show.
(24:38):
Friends, thanks for joining uson Tea with TJ.
Please rate, review andsubscribe.
Thanks for joining us on Teawith TJ.
Please rate, review andsubscribe, and you can find us
on Instagram at Tea with TJPodcast and, as always, stay
kind, keep sipping and rememberwe're here, so we might as well
do it.
Thank you.
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