September 4, 2024 • 33 mins
What happens when you take a leap of faith? Our guest, Arnold Harper II, did just that, leaving behind his job in Baltimore to pursue his dreams in New York City. From his humble beginnings, to his mother's undying support and an unexpected job offer, Arnold's inspiring journey is a testament to resilience and the transformative power of passion. This episode of Tea with TJ promises to leave you uplifted and motivated, as Arnold shares the pivotal moments that shaped his career as an actor, singer, and stylist.
Let's explore the profound effects of the pandemic on our social and mental well-being. Arnold and I discuss how the absence of social interactions during lockdown led to contrasting experiences—some found joy in close-knit living situations, while others grappled with isolation. We also tackle the complexities of readjusting to normalcy post-pandemic, from maintaining focus amid overwhelming circumstances to the surge of self-tape auditions. This candid conversation captures the shared and individual journeys of adaptation and healing during challenging times.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
TJ (00:15):
Hey friends, it's TJ, and you're listening to Tea with TJ,
where our love for tea,conversation and
self-improvement intersect, solet's take a deeper dive into my
cup and let's have a chat.
Hey friends, it's TJ.
Welcome back to another episodeof Tea with TJ, and today I
(00:40):
have Arnold Harper.
Please introduce yourself forthe folks listening and watching
, hello everyone.
Arnold (00:47):
I am arnold harper ii.
I'm six one currently in newyork city yes, late come on
slate, yeah, now um, I'm asunflower actor, singer, stylist
, fashion enthusiast.
Everyone's big cousin love itlove it stylists fashion
enthusiasts everyone's bigcousin.
TJ (01:06):
Love it, love it, sinclair James.
Yeah, sinclair James, yeah, aw.
Arnold (01:08):
That's me, I love it.
TJ (01:12):
Yeah, so welcome to season three.
We're in season three.
Hey, boop boop, boop, boop boopOf Two of TJ.
This has been a long timecoming.
I think I told you the otherday that you were very much on
the list of people that I wasgoing to approach to be on this
show.
I am honored, so I'm very happyto finally have you here.
I made it y'all, and there issomething that I have been
(01:34):
wanting to try out that I'mgoing to try with you, okay, and
that is just because what I'verealized in the past two seasons
is that when I have guests, Iknow the guest but the audience
does not know the guest, so wekind of just jump into the
episode.
But I would love for you to justgive me your story, like, tell
me your story.
Where are you from?
Where did you grow up?
(01:54):
You know?
How did you end up in New York,all of that stuff.
Arnold (01:57):
Okay, this is my favorite story.
It's like one of my favoritestories.
Born and raised in Baltimore,maryland, I got here seven years
ago.
July 1st was my anniversarydate.
I was, thank you.
I was a leasing consultant inBaltimore, maryland, oh, wow.
(02:18):
And I had just finished doing acommunity college version of of
no, a community theaterproduction of five guys named mo
um.
I don't know if you know theshow, but I play eat mo and I
sing don't let the sun catch youcrying.
And I get this big roaringapplause and I start crying and
(02:41):
it's like it's never happened tome before.
Oh, wow.
And I'm like, uh, okay.
And I just heard and it's likeit's never happened to me before
and I'm like, uh, okay, and Ijust heard a voice being like
you need to move to New YorkCity to pursue this thing that
you just you feel so, it feelsso natural for you, it feels
like you enjoy this and thepeople enjoy you, so make it a
(03:02):
thing.
I sat at my computer at myleasing desk the next day.
I looked at my coworker and Iwas like, hey, I'm quitting,
just so, you know, in two weeksI love that.
And he thought I was lying.
I had the note ready, wow,resignation ready, resignation
ready.
No job lined up, no, like noplace.
(03:24):
But I'm a leap of faith there.
So, uh, my, my day off was, Ithink, monday.
I was applying the jobs thatweek and, luckily, I got an
email for an interview thatfilled that spot that monday.
That was off.
Wow, I had three interviews atthree jobs.
(03:44):
oh shit I looked at three places.
Long story short.
The third interview was likewe'd like to offer you a job, oh
, wow, okay.
And the third apartment waslike you seem like a good kid,
you can move here.
Okay, okay.
And I said well, lord, you know, I guess I'm doing this thing.
(04:05):
All right, come on universe Twoweeks later.
Okay, cha-cha, I move here with$50 to my name and a check that
I was waiting for the followingweek.
Wow, and.
I was doing the thing.
Jeez, wait, and when did youmove here?
July 1st 2017.
(04:25):
Oh, wow, yes, and I was inJersey City the first two weeks
I was living there.
I was on the floor sleeping ontop of newspapers, well, but I
was so happy, yeah, and I washere, yeah.
Okay, and my parents were, youknow, a little concerned.
My mom was like don't you knowshe should be living like that.
(04:45):
She bought me a little airmattress when she found out.
And I was like, ma, I'm, I'mgoing to do this thing.
And she said you know what Doyou boo?
And once I felt that support, Iwas like I can do anything.
TJ (04:59):
Oh, I love that.
Arnold (04:59):
And now I'm here.
I love that.
Oh my gosh, that's amazing.
TJ (05:02):
Seven years later.
That is amazing.
So that kind of it's funny,because I know we went back and
forth on the topic for theepisode today.
Arnold (05:12):
Yes, but hearing that story.
TJ (05:14):
It actually is in alignment with the topic that you did kind
of sort of choose.
Yes, with the topic that youdid kind of sort of choose,
because I like every guest tochoose their topic, because I'm
like, whatever you can discussand feel most comfortable
talking about, it'll make for agood episode.
And you chose lived experiencesand how they've kind of shaped
(05:35):
you and I feel like that's aperfect example of that.
So I'm curious to know how, inthinking about this whole lived
experience thing in moving toNew, how, in thinking about this
whole like lived experiencething in moving to new york in
2017, what?
because I I mean, I I'm on thesocials and I get to watch and
be witness and see what you'redoing out in the world I'm so
(05:57):
happy um to be witness to that,but I know that, like the, the
struggles of a new york actorare real, very much so real, and
I know and I feel like I sawsomething about this like a
while ago.
Arnold (06:12):
I feel like.
TJ (06:13):
I saw something on your story about it a while ago about
how people get to see all ofthe good stuff.
Yeah, but no one actually eversees the stuff that you go
through and the amounts of theamounts of rejection and no's
and and all the auditions yeahso what, what experiences have
you had, um, prior to what Iwould consider this season being
(06:35):
kind of like your, yourflowering season right now?
yeah, um, like, what experienceshave you had, um where you felt
like you wanted to quit, or youfelt like you just might have
packed it up and left and likewent back to baltimore, or if,
if that existed for you, becauseI know that that's not the case
for everybody- oh, itabsolutely existed.
Arnold (06:53):
It was the first year I moved here.
So I I feel like like, yes, I,I am a, like I said I'm a leap
of faith there.
Like I feel like I'm like led,but my heart is pounding at the
same time.
And when I moved here I waslike, oh, I'm gonna book
Broadway the first year here.
(07:13):
I'm gonna give it six months toa year and I'm gonna be a star
like Barbra Streisand andcasting and people were like,
who are you kid?
Maybe not.
You got a couple more auditionsto do that and it made me
(07:34):
nervous because I'm like I hadthis job.
That was cool, but I was like Icame here to pursue theater and
to like be an entertainer andthat it wasn't as fast tracked
as I thought it would be.
So the nerves got kicked in andthe doubt kicked in.
I was like, oh, am I?
(07:55):
Am I meant to do this?
And then shout out to like thefriends that I made along the
way in that year, because youknow, I was doing cabarets and
then I would be meeting peopleand they'd be like come sing
here, come sing here.
And I found like healing inthat.
TJ (08:10):
And.
Arnold (08:11):
I found a sense of belonging in the people I met
along the way in those auditionsand, you know, in the lounges
and the you know stage door atthe theaters, and I was like, oh
, like, oh, okay, I can do thisthing a little bit longer.
I'm gonna cry when I get home,but when I, when I step out this
(08:32):
apartment, okay, yeah, I'mgonna step with, enjoy, and you
know I got business to take careof.
TJ (08:40):
oh, yeah oh my god, I love that.
Yeah, I, so I remember us.
Finally, I feel like we circledeach other for a very long time
.
Yes, yes, we did.
And then, post pandemic was it2020 or 21?
I think it was 21?
Yes, we finally sat down andlike had a chat, yes, and like
met up in person yeah uh,because I feel like we had been
(09:02):
on each other's feeds for awhile.
Yes, and I kept thinking.
I was like who is this man?
How have I not met this man?
And we finally connected andset out.
And I remember thinking how,excuse me, how warm you were and
how receptive you were and howopen you were.
Yeah, and I remember thinkingto myself I'm like, wow, these
are the types of people that Iwant to interact with in this
(09:24):
industry, Especially fastforward, working some jobs that
I've worked since that momentand seeing some things where
I've been like.
I don't know how we can continueto exist in this space with
certain types of attitudes andpersonalities and egos.
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Arnold (09:43):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah.
TJ (09:46):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah idea of lived experiences and how it
shaped you.
What do you think has been likethe biggest factor, um, that
(10:08):
has contributed to like yourpersonality, your view of life?
Um, mantras, if you have those,what has really contributed to
that?
Arnold (10:16):
my family.
Growing up, my grandmotheralways preached kindness and my
mom like no matter what you'regoing through when you, when you
, because you're going to meetthose same people you know in
your successes and you know whenyou're, when things aren't
going so well, you're going tosee those people and in my life
(10:40):
in particular, the same people Ihad like a little tiff with or,
like you know, know just alittle disagreement, or you know
, I might have, I might have metat I don't know some random
store you know uptown, I'll seethem downtown somewhere.
And I'm like oh, ok, hey, hey,friend.
So I think it's it's my familyraised me to be kind and to know
(11:06):
that, like, no matter what I'mgoing through to not necessarily
if it's bad to not put that onpeople my grandmother was very
complimentary, she would.
She loved to make people's day.
So if she saw somebody mad orupset.
She'd look at me and be likebaby, you got a pretty smile and
I'm like they're not evensmiling and they to smile and
(11:27):
then that affects.
You know what I mean?
that's now their spirits arelifted even in that moment, and
then they're gonna do that toother people and it's like a
trickle trickle up effect if youwill.
TJ (11:38):
Yeah, I was gonna say I definitely have encountered that
with you and experienced thatboth personally and amongst a
group of people, and you haveyou've always been so
complimentary and so um presentwith people, which I've enjoyed
yeah I've enjoyed so much aboutyou and like being in your, in
your space with you I lovepeople, I do, no matter how
(12:01):
complicated we may be.
Arnold (12:02):
I mean, you know, you know, at the end of the day I
don't think we're thatcomplicated.
Just you want love, good foodand you know Netflix special.
TJ (12:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I, um, I, I feel like there's.
The world we live in now hasunfortunately become very
cynical.
Yeah, um, and I, I.
I share this idea with you thatyou know, I also love people.
I love interacting with people.
I love good people.
(12:32):
Yes, you know, there there'ssomething about the human
connection and there's somethingabout in-person connections.
The pandemic was one of thosemoments where I didn't realize,
until I was in it, how much Idepended upon those interactions
with people oh yes, um, youknow, it fed me in a way like it
fed my soul.
Yeah, um, and so once that wasgone yeah, having to figure out
(12:56):
how to interact with people andget that um sense of fulfillment
that I was getting with beingwith people in person, there was
no way to like yeah, it's likethere was no way to do it yeah
and I feel like one of the Ithink you might have been one of
the first people that I sawoutside post-pandemic like when
(13:16):
I came back to New York.
Arnold (13:17):
What yeah, yeah, special yeah, yeah oh, and I was
like oh god, this is.
TJ (13:24):
Yeah, oh my gosh.
Arnold (13:28):
What a moment, what a time, what a time.
The blessing in my life aroundthat time Was like I was living
with my best friend, so like wewould.
Just we would cook and justlike sit around and laugh and
talk and we'd watch a TV showand then, once we stopped
laughing, they'd be like I'mgoing to bed, good night.
(13:49):
So it was like every night.
TJ (13:52):
And I was like thank you, god.
Arnold (13:54):
I know that wasn't for everybody.
Shout out to people who weren'tbut like oh, that was.
That was my lived experience atthat time, so I was able to
kind of like yeah, oh my gosh,be joyful and do a little
healing.
And then, once we got out, Iwas like oh okay, I'll see you
next Thursday at 3 pm.
Okay, no, you have a self-tape.
Okay, that's okay.
(14:14):
Oh well, we'll figure it out,yeah.
TJ (14:15):
Yeah, it's interesting that time was very, very specific and
I think, again going back tothis whole lived experience
bubble that we're in right now,yeah.
That moment, I think, shaped somany of our lives, both good
and bad.
Yes, Because I think and Ithink I've had this conversation
with a few people already- yeah, but the pandemic?
(14:36):
Definitely shaped our lives ina way that for some people
forgot how to interact, yes,with people face to face.
Yes, and how to be gracious andto to be present with others in
an actual physical space.
But then some other peoplebloomed, some people dove into
(14:57):
themselves and really did a lotof healing and a lot of, you
know, internal work down, um,uh-huh, down in the depths of
their soul.
Um, I feel like that's that Isit in this place, where being
in the pandemic, in the thick ofit, because I think I was
(15:17):
fortunate enough and it's notlost on me.
I feel like I was fortunateenough.
There was a chunk of time whereI was actually isolated in
Florida.
And then, when I came back toNew York, yeah, when I finally
was like, okay, disney is done,yeah, there is no coming back, I
can finally go back to New York, and I had someone with me
daily, yes, but that that littletime in Florida where I was in
(15:38):
that room by myself, my roommatewas gone and it was just me and
my dog, there were some momentswhere I was like I don't know
what I should be doing, like Ifeel like I should be taking
this time to write a play, or toread a book or whatever.
Arnold (15:52):
Yeah.
TJ (15:53):
And I was like I can't, my mind can't focus.
Yes, have you ever felt likeyou've had one of those moments
in your life whether it be inthe pandemic or not where
there's just so much going onand you seem like you can't
focus or you can't see throughthe moment that you're in?
Arnold (16:12):
um, has that been?
I?
I want to say yes, it'shappened, you know.
You know, I think in in the likeafter the all of a sudden there
were so many um, oh no, likeduring the break of the pandemic
(16:34):
, and theaters were like we'reback, but wear a mask.
All of a sudden you get likethese, all these self-tapes, and
you're like, well, um, but wait, I'm still thinking, I'm still.
And then you're like, well, Ihave to be off book.
What is a self tape?
How do you tilt your phone?
I don't, what's the lighting?
I'm awkward.
(16:54):
I think that was that time whenI was like should I be doing
this right now when people aredying?
I don't know.
So I think that was my time.
I was like we should be doingthat because people need to
experience joy and peace and weneed to share that with people
(17:16):
in this dark time where peopleare losing loved ones and people
they care about.
You know life is short.
Loved ones, the people theycare about you know life is
short, yeah.
TJ (17:32):
So yeah, we gotta be push happy, push knowledge on top of
happy and joy, or just like nothappy but joy, yeah and peace
yeah, yeah, absolutely yeah yeah, I think that is one of the
that was the word that stuck outto me post pandemic the most
was joy and how to find it andhow to keep it.
Because I think I realizedduring that time, in this whole
kind of like figuring out, wheremy life was I think at that
(17:55):
point I had just turned 30.
So I was approaching 31, andvery much arrived at a place
where I thought, you know, postcoming out of Disney, the gates
were going to open for me, youknow, and I thought that
Broadway was going to be aroundthe corner, a national tour is
going to be around the corner,and then everything shut down,
(18:16):
and so I had to pivot and figureout, you know, what is life,
how do I move on?
Because prior to that moment,broadway had never done that
before.
Like, sure, sure, a flood here,a tornado there, a snowstorm
here, we shut down for a nightbut a night not for an extended
amount of time where there'sliterally just nothing happening
(18:37):
.
And so, coming back from that, Iwas like, oh, I actually need
to figure out how to livewithout this.
And the crazy thing is that I'mactually really grateful for
that moment, because now this isan unpopular opinion, but now I
feel like, even though I lovetheater, even though I love live
(18:58):
theater and musical theater,and there is nothing like being
on stage Right, we preface bysaying that there is nothing
like being on a stage, there isnothing like performing on a
stage, there's nothing likeperforming eight shows a week
and I know some people don'tnecessarily want to do eight a
week.
Arnold (19:12):
That's the fight.
Words right, but I.
TJ (19:15):
I thoroughly enjoy it.
However, I think being in thatspace where we were completely
in a drought opened my eyes tobe very aware and conscious of.
I have to figure out, I have tofigure out a way to do
something else so that when andif this happens again, I'm not
(19:37):
sitting here in the dark againCrying under a blanket yeah,
because I feel like a lot of uswere you know shit out of luck.
Unfortunately, it's like TV andfilm had not come back yet.
The most, I think, the the mostwork I had an opportunity to
even audition for was voiceoverwork, because you can do it from
(19:58):
home, yeah, and so that openedup a whole industry that I was
kind of tiptoeing aroundoriginally because theater was
such the focus, yes, but afterthat experience I booked a
voiceover job, I think I.
I think it happened around thetime that we hung out that time
but, come on manifestation, youknow, let's speak it over your
(20:19):
life.
Arnold (20:19):
Well, um.
TJ (20:22):
But after that experience I was like, oh, like I actually
really enjoyed this, like thisis something that I can do from
anywhere.
I can live on a farm and dothis.
I don't have to live in acramped one by one box in New
York City just to live my dreams.
Like I can tell stories behindthe mic, I can create characters
behind the mic, like I can doall of this stuff and I can go
(20:43):
outside and no one will know whoI am, no one will care.
Like I can do all of this stuffand I can go outside and no one
will know who I am, no one willcare.
Did you ever have any type ofrealizations or revelations when
it came to theater, whether itbe during the pandemic or even
in your blossoming season?
Now, like, are you having anyrealizations where you feel I
(21:04):
could do this, you know, or thisis a non-negotiable now,
because I've experienced this?
Like, what has it been?
Arnold (21:11):
like for you.
You know, it's interesting.
I had this random thought I wasscrolling and I was looking at
something.
Oh, I was looking at this likeuh, this photo of these models
at a laundromat and I was like Icould be like a launch, like I
could own a laundromat, and Ifeel like that would bring me
(21:32):
peace.
I think it's because, likebeing around like clothes and
warm, like warm and hearing Iknow something as simple as like
a noise on a machine and likeme holding the clothes and
holding them, like I feel like Icould do that.
Okay, I love theater too.
TJ (21:52):
I love it a lot.
Arnold (21:54):
Yeah, um, but it's not like the end of the.
I feel like I can do otherthings and I feel like the
pandemic kind of helped meexplore that Also.
I love fashion, so like stylingbecame a thing, kind of like in
the midst of that too, becauseI was like styling people on the
wall for photo shoots and stufflike that.
So I was like okay, I haveother venues that I can, I can
(22:18):
explore and I kind of aminterested in like now, like
hosting too, which is like Idon't know like that could be a
thing.
TJ (22:28):
Yeah, absolutely yeah, yeah, I could totally see that too,
you know.
Arnold (22:32):
But also what made me think, oh, when I did waitress I
was like, oh, I could be aserver.
So I think, long story short,for me it's anything dealing
with people or uplifting people.
Being in contact with people, Ican make their day.
I love that long story I feellike that is.
That is yeah the calling, andpeople are everywhere, so I'm
(22:55):
like you can go anywhere.
I won take that oh yeah, um.
TJ (23:02):
So I want to talk about your experience as a stylist,
because I don't think I have hadthe opportunity.
I've seen it you know, asyou've posted things, but we've
never had a conversation aboutit.
I'm curious to know, like, howdid you fall into that?
What like, what prompted theidea or the?
What was the trigger that likeput you out into that?
Arnold (23:26):
So I am a Virgo and I have a lot of opinions.
I grew up with, like I said, mygrandmother, mother who would
like take me um drifting everyweekend, growing up and that was
the thing that was.
That was like my, my likevacation of florida, if you will
.
You know, my grandmother wouldshow me fabrics and be like, put
(23:47):
this on, put that on, and itlike built up to me moving to
New York City and like tellingmy friends, I think you look
cute in this, try this.
And then Denise Manning shoutout to Denise Manning, she was
the one she had an award showshe was going to I think it was
the Helen Hayes award.
She was the one she had anaward show she was going to, I
think it was the helen hayesaward.
(24:07):
Um, she was like arnold, do youlike this dress?
And I was like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
All of a sudden I'm like putthese, this shoes go with this
and these areas go with this putyour hair up.
You're pretty pretty.
Women should have their hair upand out of their face.
TJ (24:22):
That was.
That was what I told her um,because she's stunning.
Arnold (24:26):
Uh, and that was that started it.
And then fast track to when thepandemic broke, nasia thomas,
another cousin.
Nasia thomas, um, she was likehey, arnold drew um, drew shade
of a browie black.
Is uh doing a shoot at a day inthe life.
(24:47):
Can you stop me for it?
I said, girl, absolutely, youhave been my dream person of
style since I saw her in.
Ain't Too Proud.
I was like oh what?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that became a thing and sheposted she was like Arnold, stop
(25:07):
me down.
And she posted she was likeArnold, stop me down.
And then literally people Keptlike messaging me and I was like
yes, yes, yes, and it's been,I've been saying yes for a while
and it led to.
you know, sis, and MartaviusParrish Neese Manning.
So you know, kayla Davion, Idon't know.
(25:29):
So yeah, and Martavius ParrishNeese Manning.
So you know I love it.
Kayla Davion, I don't know.
So yeah, I love that.
That's how it just happened.
I just say yes, well, come on,you're calling and people always
mention like fashion and mestyling to them.
So I think, like you know whata calling, like you're, people
kind of speak.
Your calling to you like likeyou, you know what it is, but
(25:52):
like the voice, so like thingsstart happening, yeah, so say
yes yeah, say yes.
TJ (25:58):
Yeah, there you go, jesus.
Yeah, oh my gosh, you know I amvery much in alignment with
that, like that is.
It's something that I started,I think in what year was that
Whatever I did, clifford, I dida children's theater tour.
(26:18):
Clifford, the Big Red Dog,that's on my list really yes,
because children are vocal,they're vocal when they like it.
They'll tell you if it's funny,it is funny when it's sad, it
is sad you know, sometimesadults are like, my kids are
(26:41):
like.
Arnold (26:41):
So yeah, that's on my list.
So I did Clifford the Big RedDog and it was the my kids are
like.
TJ (26:44):
Ha ha, ha ha so yeah, that's on my list.
There you go, I, uh.
So I did, clifford the Big RedDog and I.
It was the year that ShondaRhimes book Year of yes came out
and I read that cause it was a.
I mean, the budget was not big,but we had to drive from place
to place, so we took turnsdriving and on my days off where
I didn't have to, drive.
(27:04):
I would just be sitting in theback reading that book Because
we would have to pull out of acity you know in two hours and
then drive somewhere else and bethere by the same day to do the
show From Maryland to Texas.
Arnold (27:18):
Pretty much, pretty much Got it Pretty much.
TJ (27:21):
God bless you.
And so I needed things tooccupy my mind, because it's
like Lord Jesus, I just cannotlook at cornfields all day today
.
I can't.
I can't do it, but I rememberreading that book and I remember
her whole story.
Have you ever read it?
Not, but I want to.
It's a good read, it's an easyread, it's super quick.
But I remember reading it andthat whole concept of just
(27:43):
saying yes.
Yeah, she challenged herself inthat book to for I think it was
for a year to say yes toeverything, no matter what it
was, no matter how scary it wasor how uncomfortable it made her
to just say yes.
And I looked at my life in thatmoment and I was like you know
what it?
(28:05):
I've definitely said a, said noto a lot of things that I felt
like I wasn't right for or thatI was uncomfortable about doing,
or because it didn't pay enough, or blah, blah, blah, blah.
The list goes on and on.
Yes, yes, um.
And I remember reading that andafter that being able to say
yes to things and figuring outI'm like, oh, if I actually say
yes, if I come into into theworld, into the universe, into
this space open, yeah, thethings that I actually want will
(28:27):
show up.
Arnold (28:29):
Come on in the things that.
TJ (28:31):
I've been searching for the things that I've been pursuing
actually finally arrive, becauseI'm actually open, open to it.
So I love that.
I love all of that because I'mvery much trying to operate and
continue to operate in thatspace.
This whole industry is hard andsometimes it's difficult to
(28:52):
want to say yes, because NewYork is not an easy place to
live and unfortunately, with theworld we live in, we have to
figure out how to pay bills.
Arnold (29:04):
Okay, right, you can't pay your bills on exposure,
right?
TJ (29:10):
yeah, slow staff, yeah, tips tea but yeah, so before we go,
we do this thing on t with tj,where I ask you three questions
unrelated to the topic, okay, Icall it the last three Answer
how freely or not freely youwould like to, unrelated to the
(29:30):
topic, just to give the audiencea little negative knowledge.
Okay, you ready.
Negative knowledge.
Arnold (29:37):
Yeah.
TJ (29:39):
What brings you the most peace.
Arnold (29:41):
What brings me the most peace?
TJ (29:49):
Laughter, hearing people laugh, okay, um, yeah okay, um,
where do you find joy in theworld?
Arnold (30:03):
um facetiming family and friends in the world.
Facetiming family and friendsor sitting on a friend's couch
in a sweatset.
TJ (30:12):
Okay, yes, I love a good sweatset.
Arnold (30:16):
Shout out to Paul.
Y'all, Paul is here I know.
TJ (30:19):
Oh my God, thank God.
And then final question when doyou feel your heart lives?
Arnold (30:30):
that's a tough one.
Oh my god.
I want to say it's like with mewherever I go, but then it's
also where my family, my friendsare.
It's in a couple of differentplaces.
(30:52):
It's when I see someone likecrying on the subway station.
I don't want to like live in myheart more, like on a theater,
on the stage, right here in thismoment.
TJ (31:03):
I'm like, I want to like share my heart, or like on a
theater, on a stage, like righthere in this moment.
Arnold (31:05):
I'm like I want to like share my heart um, so it's
everywhere.
TJ (31:10):
I love it I love that answer .
I don't know, is that corny?
No, no, no, okay, that's good,I love it.
That's a beautiful answer,thank you, um, thank you so much
for doing this.
Thank you, this has been greatum it has.
Where can the folks find you?
Arnold (31:23):
you can find me at Arnold Harper I I everywhere.
TJ (31:28):
Love it, love it, and then I also love to just give space,
for is there anything we did notdiscuss that you feel like has
been in your heart or on yourheart, that you want to share in
this moment?
Arnold (31:42):
um, no, no, no, okay, no, um.
I just I hope people can likefind joy wherever they can, and
if they don't have it, I hope, Ihope they get it, I hope they
give it, get it, I love bit Ihope any negative thing or it
(32:05):
just like ceases, like it goesaway.
No you learn from it and moveon perfect yeah, perfect.
TJ (32:10):
Well, that's it well, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank
you again for doing this.
Um, this will not be your lasttime on the podcast I'm saying
that out loud right now.
Hopefully not, um, but withthat, thanks so much for
listening, friends, and I willsee you next week and that's our
show.
Friends, thanks for joining uson Tea with TJ.
(32:34):
Please rate, review andsubscribe, and you can find us
on Instagram at Tea with TJpodcast.
And, as always, stay kind, keepsipping and remember we're here
, so we might as well do it.
Hey friends, it's TJ, and you're listening to Tea with TJ,
where our love for tea,conversation and
self-improvement intersect, solet's take a deeper dive into my
cup and let's have a chat.
Hey friends, it's TJ.
Welcome back to another episodeof Tea with TJ, and today I
(00:40):
have Arnold Harper.
Please introduce yourself forthe folks listening and watching
, hello everyone.
Arnold (00:47):
I am arnold harper ii.
I'm six one currently in newyork city yes, late come on
slate, yeah, now um, I'm asunflower actor, singer, stylist
, fashion enthusiast.
Everyone's big cousin love itlove it stylists fashion
enthusiasts everyone's bigcousin.
TJ (01:06):
Love it, love it, sinclair James.
Yeah, sinclair James, yeah, aw.
Arnold (01:08):
That's me, I love it.
TJ (01:12):
Yeah, so welcome to season three.
We're in season three.
Hey, boop boop, boop, boop boopOf Two of TJ.
This has been a long timecoming.
I think I told you the otherday that you were very much on
the list of people that I wasgoing to approach to be on this
show.
I am honored, so I'm very happyto finally have you here.
I made it y'all, and there issomething that I have been
(01:34):
wanting to try out that I'mgoing to try with you, okay, and
that is just because what I'verealized in the past two seasons
is that when I have guests, Iknow the guest but the audience
does not know the guest, so wekind of just jump into the
episode.
But I would love for you to justgive me your story, like, tell
me your story.
Where are you from?
Where did you grow up?
(01:54):
You know?
How did you end up in New York,all of that stuff.
Arnold (01:57):
Okay, this is my favorite story.
It's like one of my favoritestories.
Born and raised in Baltimore,maryland, I got here seven years
ago.
July 1st was my anniversarydate.
I was, thank you.
I was a leasing consultant inBaltimore, maryland, oh, wow.
(02:18):
And I had just finished doing acommunity college version of of
no, a community theaterproduction of five guys named mo
um.
I don't know if you know theshow, but I play eat mo and I
sing don't let the sun catch youcrying.
And I get this big roaringapplause and I start crying and
(02:41):
it's like it's never happened tome before.
Oh, wow.
And I'm like, uh, okay.
And I just heard and it's likeit's never happened to me before
and I'm like, uh, okay, and Ijust heard a voice being like
you need to move to New YorkCity to pursue this thing that
you just you feel so, it feelsso natural for you, it feels
like you enjoy this and thepeople enjoy you, so make it a
(03:02):
thing.
I sat at my computer at myleasing desk the next day.
I looked at my coworker and Iwas like, hey, I'm quitting,
just so, you know, in two weeksI love that.
And he thought I was lying.
I had the note ready, wow,resignation ready, resignation
ready.
No job lined up, no, like noplace.
(03:24):
But I'm a leap of faith there.
So, uh, my, my day off was, Ithink, monday.
I was applying the jobs thatweek and, luckily, I got an
email for an interview thatfilled that spot that monday.
That was off.
Wow, I had three interviews atthree jobs.
(03:44):
oh shit I looked at three places.
Long story short.
The third interview was likewe'd like to offer you a job, oh
, wow, okay.
And the third apartment waslike you seem like a good kid,
you can move here.
Okay, okay.
And I said well, lord, you know, I guess I'm doing this thing.
(04:05):
All right, come on universe Twoweeks later.
Okay, cha-cha, I move here with$50 to my name and a check that
I was waiting for the followingweek.
Wow, and.
I was doing the thing.
Jeez, wait, and when did youmove here?
July 1st 2017.
(04:25):
Oh, wow, yes, and I was inJersey City the first two weeks
I was living there.
I was on the floor sleeping ontop of newspapers, well, but I
was so happy, yeah, and I washere, yeah.
Okay, and my parents were, youknow, a little concerned.
My mom was like don't you knowshe should be living like that.
(04:45):
She bought me a little airmattress when she found out.
And I was like, ma, I'm, I'mgoing to do this thing.
And she said you know what Doyou boo?
And once I felt that support, Iwas like I can do anything.
TJ (04:59):
Oh, I love that.
Arnold (04:59):
And now I'm here.
I love that.
Oh my gosh, that's amazing.
TJ (05:02):
Seven years later.
That is amazing.
So that kind of it's funny,because I know we went back and
forth on the topic for theepisode today.
Arnold (05:12):
Yes, but hearing that story.
TJ (05:14):
It actually is in alignment with the topic that you did kind
of sort of choose.
Yes, with the topic that youdid kind of sort of choose,
because I like every guest tochoose their topic, because I'm
like, whatever you can discussand feel most comfortable
talking about, it'll make for agood episode.
And you chose lived experiencesand how they've kind of shaped
(05:35):
you and I feel like that's aperfect example of that.
So I'm curious to know how, inthinking about this whole lived
experience thing in moving toNew, how, in thinking about this
whole like lived experiencething in moving to new york in
2017, what?
because I I mean, I I'm on thesocials and I get to watch and
be witness and see what you'redoing out in the world I'm so
(05:57):
happy um to be witness to that,but I know that, like the, the
struggles of a new york actorare real, very much so real, and
I know and I feel like I sawsomething about this like a
while ago.
Arnold (06:12):
I feel like.
TJ (06:13):
I saw something on your story about it a while ago about
how people get to see all ofthe good stuff.
Yeah, but no one actually eversees the stuff that you go
through and the amounts of theamounts of rejection and no's
and and all the auditions yeahso what, what experiences have
you had, um, prior to what Iwould consider this season being
(06:35):
kind of like your, yourflowering season right now?
yeah, um, like, what experienceshave you had, um where you felt
like you wanted to quit, or youfelt like you just might have
packed it up and left and likewent back to baltimore, or if,
if that existed for you, becauseI know that that's not the case
for everybody- oh, itabsolutely existed.
Arnold (06:53):
It was the first year I moved here.
So I I feel like like, yes, I,I am a, like I said I'm a leap
of faith there.
Like I feel like I'm like led,but my heart is pounding at the
same time.
And when I moved here I waslike, oh, I'm gonna book
Broadway the first year here.
(07:13):
I'm gonna give it six months toa year and I'm gonna be a star
like Barbra Streisand andcasting and people were like,
who are you kid?
Maybe not.
You got a couple more auditionsto do that and it made me
(07:34):
nervous because I'm like I hadthis job.
That was cool, but I was like Icame here to pursue theater and
to like be an entertainer andthat it wasn't as fast tracked
as I thought it would be.
So the nerves got kicked in andthe doubt kicked in.
I was like, oh, am I?
(07:55):
Am I meant to do this?
And then shout out to like thefriends that I made along the
way in that year, because youknow, I was doing cabarets and
then I would be meeting peopleand they'd be like come sing
here, come sing here.
And I found like healing inthat.
TJ (08:10):
And.
Arnold (08:11):
I found a sense of belonging in the people I met
along the way in those auditionsand, you know, in the lounges
and the you know stage door atthe theaters, and I was like, oh
, like, oh, okay, I can do thisthing a little bit longer.
I'm gonna cry when I get home,but when I, when I step out this
(08:32):
apartment, okay, yeah, I'mgonna step with, enjoy, and you
know I got business to take careof.
TJ (08:40):
oh, yeah oh my god, I love that.
Yeah, I, so I remember us.
Finally, I feel like we circledeach other for a very long time
.
Yes, yes, we did.
And then, post pandemic was it2020 or 21?
I think it was 21?
Yes, we finally sat down andlike had a chat, yes, and like
met up in person yeah uh,because I feel like we had been
(09:02):
on each other's feeds for awhile.
Yes, and I kept thinking.
I was like who is this man?
How have I not met this man?
And we finally connected andset out.
And I remember thinking how,excuse me, how warm you were and
how receptive you were and howopen you were.
Yeah, and I remember thinkingto myself I'm like, wow, these
are the types of people that Iwant to interact with in this
(09:24):
industry, Especially fastforward, working some jobs that
I've worked since that momentand seeing some things where
I've been like.
I don't know how we can continueto exist in this space with
certain types of attitudes andpersonalities and egos.
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Arnold (09:43):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah.
TJ (09:46):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah idea of lived experiences and how it
shaped you.
What do you think has been likethe biggest factor, um, that
(10:08):
has contributed to like yourpersonality, your view of life?
Um, mantras, if you have those,what has really contributed to
that?
Arnold (10:16):
my family.
Growing up, my grandmotheralways preached kindness and my
mom like no matter what you'regoing through when you, when you
, because you're going to meetthose same people you know in
your successes and you know whenyou're, when things aren't
going so well, you're going tosee those people and in my life
(10:40):
in particular, the same people Ihad like a little tiff with or,
like you know, know just alittle disagreement, or you know
, I might have, I might have metat I don't know some random
store you know uptown, I'll seethem downtown somewhere.
And I'm like oh, ok, hey, hey,friend.
So I think it's it's my familyraised me to be kind and to know
(11:06):
that, like, no matter what I'mgoing through to not necessarily
if it's bad to not put that onpeople my grandmother was very
complimentary, she would.
She loved to make people's day.
So if she saw somebody mad orupset.
She'd look at me and be likebaby, you got a pretty smile and
I'm like they're not evensmiling and they to smile and
(11:27):
then that affects.
You know what I mean?
that's now their spirits arelifted even in that moment, and
then they're gonna do that toother people and it's like a
trickle trickle up effect if youwill.
TJ (11:38):
Yeah, I was gonna say I definitely have encountered that
with you and experienced thatboth personally and amongst a
group of people, and you haveyou've always been so
complimentary and so um presentwith people, which I've enjoyed
yeah I've enjoyed so much aboutyou and like being in your, in
your space with you I lovepeople, I do, no matter how
(12:01):
complicated we may be.
Arnold (12:02):
I mean, you know, you know, at the end of the day I
don't think we're thatcomplicated.
Just you want love, good foodand you know Netflix special.
TJ (12:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I, um, I, I feel like there's.
The world we live in now hasunfortunately become very
cynical.
Yeah, um, and I, I.
I share this idea with you thatyou know, I also love people.
I love interacting with people.
I love good people.
(12:32):
Yes, you know, there there'ssomething about the human
connection and there's somethingabout in-person connections.
The pandemic was one of thosemoments where I didn't realize,
until I was in it, how much Idepended upon those interactions
with people oh yes, um, youknow, it fed me in a way like it
fed my soul.
Yeah, um, and so once that wasgone yeah, having to figure out
(12:56):
how to interact with people andget that um sense of fulfillment
that I was getting with beingwith people in person, there was
no way to like yeah, it's likethere was no way to do it yeah
and I feel like one of the Ithink you might have been one of
the first people that I sawoutside post-pandemic like when
(13:16):
I came back to New York.
Arnold (13:17):
What yeah, yeah, special yeah, yeah oh, and I was
like oh god, this is.
TJ (13:24):
Yeah, oh my gosh.
Arnold (13:28):
What a moment, what a time, what a time.
The blessing in my life aroundthat time Was like I was living
with my best friend, so like wewould.
Just we would cook and justlike sit around and laugh and
talk and we'd watch a TV showand then, once we stopped
laughing, they'd be like I'mgoing to bed, good night.
(13:49):
So it was like every night.
TJ (13:52):
And I was like thank you, god.
Arnold (13:54):
I know that wasn't for everybody.
Shout out to people who weren'tbut like oh, that was.
That was my lived experience atthat time, so I was able to
kind of like yeah, oh my gosh,be joyful and do a little
healing.
And then, once we got out, Iwas like oh okay, I'll see you
next Thursday at 3 pm.
Okay, no, you have a self-tape.
Okay, that's okay.
(14:14):
Oh well, we'll figure it out,yeah.
TJ (14:15):
Yeah, it's interesting that time was very, very specific and
I think, again going back tothis whole lived experience
bubble that we're in right now,yeah.
That moment, I think, shaped somany of our lives, both good
and bad.
Yes, Because I think and Ithink I've had this conversation
with a few people already- yeah, but the pandemic?
(14:36):
Definitely shaped our lives ina way that for some people
forgot how to interact, yes,with people face to face.
Yes, and how to be gracious andto to be present with others in
an actual physical space.
But then some other peoplebloomed, some people dove into
(14:57):
themselves and really did a lotof healing and a lot of, you
know, internal work down, um,uh-huh, down in the depths of
their soul.
Um, I feel like that's that Isit in this place, where being
in the pandemic, in the thick ofit, because I think I was
(15:17):
fortunate enough and it's notlost on me.
I feel like I was fortunateenough.
There was a chunk of time whereI was actually isolated in
Florida.
And then, when I came back toNew York, yeah, when I finally
was like, okay, disney is done,yeah, there is no coming back, I
can finally go back to New York, and I had someone with me
daily, yes, but that that littletime in Florida where I was in
(15:38):
that room by myself, my roommatewas gone and it was just me and
my dog, there were some momentswhere I was like I don't know
what I should be doing, like Ifeel like I should be taking
this time to write a play, or toread a book or whatever.
Arnold (15:52):
Yeah.
TJ (15:53):
And I was like I can't, my mind can't focus.
Yes, have you ever felt likeyou've had one of those moments
in your life whether it be inthe pandemic or not where
there's just so much going onand you seem like you can't
focus or you can't see throughthe moment that you're in?
Arnold (16:12):
um, has that been?
I?
I want to say yes, it'shappened, you know.
You know, I think in in the likeafter the all of a sudden there
were so many um, oh no, likeduring the break of the pandemic
(16:34):
, and theaters were like we'reback, but wear a mask.
All of a sudden you get likethese, all these self-tapes, and
you're like, well, um, but wait, I'm still thinking, I'm still.
And then you're like, well, Ihave to be off book.
What is a self tape?
How do you tilt your phone?
I don't, what's the lighting?
I'm awkward.
(16:54):
I think that was that time whenI was like should I be doing
this right now when people aredying?
I don't know.
So I think that was my time.
I was like we should be doingthat because people need to
experience joy and peace and weneed to share that with people
(17:16):
in this dark time where peopleare losing loved ones and people
they care about.
You know life is short.
Loved ones, the people theycare about you know life is
short, yeah.
TJ (17:32):
So yeah, we gotta be push happy, push knowledge on top of
happy and joy, or just like nothappy but joy, yeah and peace
yeah, yeah, absolutely yeah yeah, I think that is one of the
that was the word that stuck outto me post pandemic the most
was joy and how to find it andhow to keep it.
Because I think I realizedduring that time, in this whole
kind of like figuring out, wheremy life was I think at that
(17:55):
point I had just turned 30.
So I was approaching 31, andvery much arrived at a place
where I thought, you know, postcoming out of Disney, the gates
were going to open for me, youknow, and I thought that
Broadway was going to be aroundthe corner, a national tour is
going to be around the corner,and then everything shut down,
(18:16):
and so I had to pivot and figureout, you know, what is life,
how do I move on?
Because prior to that moment,broadway had never done that
before.
Like, sure, sure, a flood here,a tornado there, a snowstorm
here, we shut down for a nightbut a night not for an extended
amount of time where there'sliterally just nothing happening
(18:37):
.
And so, coming back from that, Iwas like, oh, I actually need
to figure out how to livewithout this.
And the crazy thing is that I'mactually really grateful for
that moment, because now this isan unpopular opinion, but now I
feel like, even though I lovetheater, even though I love live
(18:58):
theater and musical theater,and there is nothing like being
on stage Right, we preface bysaying that there is nothing
like being on a stage, there isnothing like performing on a
stage, there's nothing likeperforming eight shows a week
and I know some people don'tnecessarily want to do eight a
week.
Arnold (19:12):
That's the fight.
Words right, but I.
TJ (19:15):
I thoroughly enjoy it.
However, I think being in thatspace where we were completely
in a drought opened my eyes tobe very aware and conscious of.
I have to figure out, I have tofigure out a way to do
something else so that when andif this happens again, I'm not
(19:37):
sitting here in the dark againCrying under a blanket yeah,
because I feel like a lot of uswere you know shit out of luck.
Unfortunately, it's like TV andfilm had not come back yet.
The most, I think, the the mostwork I had an opportunity to
even audition for was voiceoverwork, because you can do it from
(19:58):
home, yeah, and so that openedup a whole industry that I was
kind of tiptoeing aroundoriginally because theater was
such the focus, yes, but afterthat experience I booked a
voiceover job, I think I.
I think it happened around thetime that we hung out that time
but, come on manifestation, youknow, let's speak it over your
(20:19):
life.
Arnold (20:19):
Well, um.
TJ (20:22):
But after that experience I was like, oh, like I actually
really enjoyed this, like thisis something that I can do from
anywhere.
I can live on a farm and dothis.
I don't have to live in acramped one by one box in New
York City just to live my dreams.
Like I can tell stories behindthe mic, I can create characters
behind the mic, like I can doall of this stuff and I can go
(20:43):
outside and no one will know whoI am, no one will care.
Like I can do all of this stuffand I can go outside and no one
will know who I am, no one willcare.
Did you ever have any type ofrealizations or revelations when
it came to theater, whether itbe during the pandemic or even
in your blossoming season?
Now, like, are you having anyrealizations where you feel I
(21:04):
could do this, you know, or thisis a non-negotiable now,
because I've experienced this?
Like, what has it been?
Arnold (21:11):
like for you.
You know, it's interesting.
I had this random thought I wasscrolling and I was looking at
something.
Oh, I was looking at this likeuh, this photo of these models
at a laundromat and I was like Icould be like a launch, like I
could own a laundromat, and Ifeel like that would bring me
(21:32):
peace.
I think it's because, likebeing around like clothes and
warm, like warm and hearing Iknow something as simple as like
a noise on a machine and likeme holding the clothes and
holding them, like I feel like Icould do that.
Okay, I love theater too.
TJ (21:52):
I love it a lot.
Arnold (21:54):
Yeah, um, but it's not like the end of the.
I feel like I can do otherthings and I feel like the
pandemic kind of helped meexplore that Also.
I love fashion, so like stylingbecame a thing, kind of like in
the midst of that too, becauseI was like styling people on the
wall for photo shoots and stufflike that.
So I was like okay, I haveother venues that I can, I can
(22:18):
explore and I kind of aminterested in like now, like
hosting too, which is like Idon't know like that could be a
thing.
TJ (22:28):
Yeah, absolutely yeah, yeah, I could totally see that too,
you know.
Arnold (22:32):
But also what made me think, oh, when I did waitress I
was like, oh, I could be aserver.
So I think, long story short,for me it's anything dealing
with people or uplifting people.
Being in contact with people, Ican make their day.
I love that long story I feellike that is.
That is yeah the calling, andpeople are everywhere, so I'm
(22:55):
like you can go anywhere.
I won take that oh yeah, um.
TJ (23:02):
So I want to talk about your experience as a stylist,
because I don't think I have hadthe opportunity.
I've seen it you know, asyou've posted things, but we've
never had a conversation aboutit.
I'm curious to know, like, howdid you fall into that?
What like, what prompted theidea or the?
What was the trigger that likeput you out into that?
Arnold (23:26):
So I am a Virgo and I have a lot of opinions.
I grew up with, like I said, mygrandmother, mother who would
like take me um drifting everyweekend, growing up and that was
the thing that was.
That was like my, my likevacation of florida, if you will
.
You know, my grandmother wouldshow me fabrics and be like, put
(23:47):
this on, put that on, and itlike built up to me moving to
New York City and like tellingmy friends, I think you look
cute in this, try this.
And then Denise Manning shoutout to Denise Manning, she was
the one she had an award showshe was going to I think it was
the Helen Hayes award.
She was the one she had anaward show she was going to, I
think it was the helen hayesaward.
(24:07):
Um, she was like arnold, do youlike this dress?
And I was like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
All of a sudden I'm like putthese, this shoes go with this
and these areas go with this putyour hair up.
You're pretty pretty.
Women should have their hair upand out of their face.
TJ (24:22):
That was.
That was what I told her um,because she's stunning.
Arnold (24:26):
Uh, and that was that started it.
And then fast track to when thepandemic broke, nasia thomas,
another cousin.
Nasia thomas, um, she was likehey, arnold drew um, drew shade
of a browie black.
Is uh doing a shoot at a day inthe life.
(24:47):
Can you stop me for it?
I said, girl, absolutely, youhave been my dream person of
style since I saw her in.
Ain't Too Proud.
I was like oh what?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that became a thing and sheposted she was like Arnold, stop
(25:07):
me down.
And she posted she was likeArnold, stop me down.
And then literally people Keptlike messaging me and I was like
yes, yes, yes, and it's been,I've been saying yes for a while
and it led to.
you know, sis, and MartaviusParrish Neese Manning.
So you know, kayla Davion, Idon't know.
(25:29):
So yeah, and Martavius ParrishNeese Manning.
So you know I love it.
Kayla Davion, I don't know.
So yeah, I love that.
That's how it just happened.
I just say yes, well, come on,you're calling and people always
mention like fashion and mestyling to them.
So I think, like you know whata calling, like you're, people
kind of speak.
Your calling to you like likeyou, you know what it is, but
(25:52):
like the voice, so like thingsstart happening, yeah, so say
yes yeah, say yes.
TJ (25:58):
Yeah, there you go, jesus.
Yeah, oh my gosh, you know I amvery much in alignment with
that, like that is.
It's something that I started,I think in what year was that
Whatever I did, clifford, I dida children's theater tour.
(26:18):
Clifford, the Big Red Dog,that's on my list really yes,
because children are vocal,they're vocal when they like it.
They'll tell you if it's funny,it is funny when it's sad, it
is sad you know, sometimesadults are like, my kids are
(26:41):
like.
Arnold (26:41):
So yeah, that's on my list.
So I did Clifford the Big RedDog and it was the my kids are
like.
TJ (26:44):
Ha ha, ha ha so yeah, that's on my list.
There you go, I, uh.
So I did, clifford the Big RedDog and I.
It was the year that ShondaRhimes book Year of yes came out
and I read that cause it was a.
I mean, the budget was not big,but we had to drive from place
to place, so we took turnsdriving and on my days off where
I didn't have to, drive.
(27:04):
I would just be sitting in theback reading that book Because
we would have to pull out of acity you know in two hours and
then drive somewhere else and bethere by the same day to do the
show From Maryland to Texas.
Arnold (27:18):
Pretty much, pretty much Got it Pretty much.
TJ (27:21):
God bless you.
And so I needed things tooccupy my mind, because it's
like Lord Jesus, I just cannotlook at cornfields all day today
.
I can't.
I can't do it, but I rememberreading that book and I remember
her whole story.
Have you ever read it?
Not, but I want to.
It's a good read, it's an easyread, it's super quick.
But I remember reading it andthat whole concept of just
(27:43):
saying yes.
Yeah, she challenged herself inthat book to for I think it was
for a year to say yes toeverything, no matter what it
was, no matter how scary it wasor how uncomfortable it made her
to just say yes.
And I looked at my life in thatmoment and I was like you know
what it?
(28:05):
I've definitely said a, said noto a lot of things that I felt
like I wasn't right for or thatI was uncomfortable about doing,
or because it didn't pay enough, or blah, blah, blah, blah.
The list goes on and on.
Yes, yes, um.
And I remember reading that andafter that being able to say
yes to things and figuring outI'm like, oh, if I actually say
yes, if I come into into theworld, into the universe, into
this space open, yeah, thethings that I actually want will
(28:27):
show up.
Arnold (28:29):
Come on in the things that.
TJ (28:31):
I've been searching for the things that I've been pursuing
actually finally arrive, becauseI'm actually open, open to it.
So I love that.
I love all of that because I'mvery much trying to operate and
continue to operate in thatspace.
This whole industry is hard andsometimes it's difficult to
(28:52):
want to say yes, because NewYork is not an easy place to
live and unfortunately, with theworld we live in, we have to
figure out how to pay bills.
Arnold (29:04):
Okay, right, you can't pay your bills on exposure,
right?
TJ (29:10):
yeah, slow staff, yeah, tips tea but yeah, so before we go,
we do this thing on t with tj,where I ask you three questions
unrelated to the topic, okay, Icall it the last three Answer
how freely or not freely youwould like to, unrelated to the
(29:30):
topic, just to give the audiencea little negative knowledge.
Okay, you ready.
Negative knowledge.
Arnold (29:37):
Yeah.
TJ (29:39):
What brings you the most peace.
Arnold (29:41):
What brings me the most peace?
TJ (29:49):
Laughter, hearing people laugh, okay, um, yeah okay, um,
where do you find joy in theworld?
Arnold (30:03):
um facetiming family and friends in the world.
Facetiming family and friendsor sitting on a friend's couch
in a sweatset.
TJ (30:12):
Okay, yes, I love a good sweatset.
Arnold (30:16):
Shout out to Paul.
Y'all, Paul is here I know.
TJ (30:19):
Oh my God, thank God.
And then final question when doyou feel your heart lives?
Arnold (30:30):
that's a tough one.
Oh my god.
I want to say it's like with mewherever I go, but then it's
also where my family, my friendsare.
It's in a couple of differentplaces.
(30:52):
It's when I see someone likecrying on the subway station.
I don't want to like live in myheart more, like on a theater,
on the stage, right here in thismoment.
TJ (31:03):
I'm like, I want to like share my heart, or like on a
theater, on a stage, like righthere in this moment.
Arnold (31:05):
I'm like I want to like share my heart um, so it's
everywhere.
TJ (31:10):
I love it I love that answer .
I don't know, is that corny?
No, no, no, okay, that's good,I love it.
That's a beautiful answer,thank you, um, thank you so much
for doing this.
Thank you, this has been greatum it has.
Where can the folks find you?
Arnold (31:23):
you can find me at Arnold Harper I I everywhere.
TJ (31:28):
Love it, love it, and then I also love to just give space,
for is there anything we did notdiscuss that you feel like has
been in your heart or on yourheart, that you want to share in
this moment?
Arnold (31:42):
um, no, no, no, okay, no, um.
I just I hope people can likefind joy wherever they can, and
if they don't have it, I hope, Ihope they get it, I hope they
give it, get it, I love bit Ihope any negative thing or it
(32:05):
just like ceases, like it goesaway.
No you learn from it and moveon perfect yeah, perfect.
TJ (32:10):
Well, that's it well, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank
you again for doing this.
Um, this will not be your lasttime on the podcast I'm saying
that out loud right now.
Hopefully not, um, but withthat, thanks so much for
listening, friends, and I willsee you next week and that's our
show.
Friends, thanks for joining uson Tea with TJ.
(32:34):
Please rate, review andsubscribe, and you can find us
on Instagram at Tea with TJpodcast.
And, as always, stay kind, keepsipping and remember we're here
, so we might as well do it.
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