Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hey friends, it's TJ,
and you're listening to Tea
with TJ, where our love for tea,conversation and
self-improvement intersect.
So let's take a deeper diveinto my cup and let's have a
chat.
Hey friends, it's TJ.
Welcome back to another episodeof Tea with TJ.
(00:37):
And today I have another TJ onthe show, tj Gibson.
Welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
So just quickly for
our guests, can you tell me your
story, sure?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
It's always so tough
with that.
So, first of all, it's reallyweird hearing my first and last
name being said, like on anonline creation, like a type of
thing.
It's so weird hearing my fullname.
But anyway, um, my name is TJ.
Um, I am, um a very insaneperson.
(01:21):
No, I um.
So online, I go by bizarrehodgepodge, um, have gone by
that for several years, um, andso I do a number of different
things.
One of them is being a personal, uh stylist.
The other is, um, like workingan actual, like nine to five job
(01:43):
, um, in investment operations.
That is the one thing that,well, that's the thing that
pretty much pays the bills.
But I also do content creationvia Instagram and YouTube.
I have a blog that I need toclear the cobwebs off of, to be
frank, but it is still available, but it is still available, and
(02:05):
so I currently live rightoutside of Nashville, tennessee,
with the goal of moving intoTennessee like any day now,
honestly, been here for fiveyears at this point.
I am originally fromMississippi, jackson to be exact
.
So that is my hometown, that'swhere I was born and raised, and
(02:30):
, yeah, I think that pretty muchsums me up in a nutshell.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
It's so weird.
I think I mentioned this, wehad you for a special episode
last week and it's weird that wehave been in such close
proximity and have never metbefore.
I know, uh, because I grew upin memphis, um, and I feel like
so many people from jacksonusually end up in memphis at
(02:56):
some point, like whether it'slike for the well, back when I
back in my day, um, when I wasthere, like the the fair or the
um the classic, or like you know, any of those type of big
things that happen in Memphis,yeah, I feel like everybody kind
of like descends upon Memphisfrom, like Little Rock and
(03:17):
Jackson and, you know,everywhere else, yeah, so it's
weird that I've neverencountered you before.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Well, yeah, so yeah,
from Jackson to Memphis I think
it's like three or four hours,so it's not like a big road trip
.
So a lot of times, even when Iwas a kid like that was that was
like an annual trip for like meand my family, we would go to
Memphis for one of the games.
(03:42):
I'm not into sports, I justremember being able to go on a
road trip, stay in a hotel andinsisting on an indoor pool.
I was a spoiled child so I waslike if we're going somewhere, I
want to indoor pool.
That's all I cared about.
I never went to the game, mydad did.
But yeah, Memphis was alwayslike the go-to place.
Even when I grew up, somefriends and I would like travel
to Memphis every now and again,just like get away out of
(04:04):
Jackson.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
So yeah, gotcha, okay
, well, I'm happy to connect
with you now.
Like this is it's just proofthat the world is, you know,
much smaller than we like tobelieve sometimes, very that.
So when we were chatting abouthaving you on for this full
episode, I sent you a list oftopics and we agreed we mutually
(04:26):
agreed on one that spoke to you, writing it down, manifesting
what you want, which I alwaysthink is a really cool concept
for a topic, because I feel likewe oftentimes very much don't
understand or comprehend howimportant it is for us to
(04:48):
manifest the things that we areactually after in our lives and,
even more specifically, writethem down Right and how that can
actually lead to those thingsthat we have been trying to
bring towards us and gravitatetowards in our lives, like
bringing those things tofruition.
So, just quickly, can you sharewith me like what actually like
(05:10):
stood out in your mind aboutthat topic, about choosing it?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Well, because I'm
currently doing that.
Well, I'm always doing it, butI'm extremely intentional right
now about writing down thethings that I want, writing down
the things that I want tomanifest gratitude practice or
(05:43):
gratitude exercise, which is apart of this book called the
magic, which is a part of alarger collection from the
secret.
So, if anyone knows of thesecret, the book, the secret,
there's, I think, about four orfive actually four or five books
that are actually a part of, Iguess, that collection.
It starts with the secret, itgoes into the power, which is
(06:05):
another incredible book.
From the power, you go into themagic, which is basically again
a 28-day gratitude practice and,within the the, the way that
you manifest things according tothe magic, which I believe, um,
the way that you manifest morethings or the things that you
(06:26):
want in your life is to startwith gratitude, um, and to write
a lot of things down that youare grateful for.
So you go from the magic to thebook called, I think it's the
hero, or hero, which I have notgotten to yet, um.
But that is why I chose thisparticular topic, or why this
one really got me, is becauseI'm currently doing that right
(06:47):
now, like I'm going through, I'mwriting everything that I'm
grateful for One, just to begrateful for them, but also to
manifest more, and to manifestmy next chapter in my life and
the things that I want to be apart of that chapter.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
I love that there's.
It's interesting becausegratitude is one of those things
that I feel like I am.
The older I've gotten, the more, the more it's actually become
a part of my life, like and notto say that I'm not grateful for
things because I am, but Ithink as we get older and really
(07:22):
start to think about life as awhole and like the direction
that we want to go in and thegoals that we're trying to
accomplish, um, things that, atleast for myself I can only
speak for myself things that popup that I see, that I
acknowledge, um, I tend to I'vestarted to have more gratitude
(07:43):
about them, and I know that wasprobably very confusing, but I'm
going to break it down.
There are moments where I amgoing throughout my week Right,
and it may be a shitty weekRight.
Every possible thing that couldhave gone wrong has gone wrong.
Nothing is going right.
The thing that I was trying toaccomplish this week just didn't
(08:04):
happen because of X, y and Z.
But being able to sit Saturdaysand Sundays are kind of like my
recharge days, but being able tosit at the end of the week and
reflect on all of the thingsthat did or didn't go right or
wrong, um kind of like, informsthe gratitude that I end up
(08:24):
having, which it's very hard tosee when you're in the moment,
but it's so much easier when youare able to like reflect on it.
And usually on the weekends iswhen I can sit and I'm like oh,
you know, that thing that reallytripped me up this week, or
that audition that I had thatlike I felt like was crap when I
submitted it because I'm sohard on myself.
(08:46):
I'm actually really gratefulthat I had the moment to even
audition for that, because somepeople don't have that
opportunity at all that you areable to, especially now in this,
this phase that you're in rightnow.
Do you find that?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
you have moments
where you are able to kind of
reflect with gratitude.
Yes, um, especially goingthrough again this, this 28 day
practice, like it's real, it'sreading me to filth, honestly,
because I am truly understandingand finding that like I have
been so ungrateful for things inmy past or you know, and
(09:33):
because it really it gets reallygranular, this practice, and it
really makes you think aboutall the things you take for
granted, yeah, and all thethings that you may complain
about, um, that actually youshould be grateful for, um.
And so it is often in, uh,retrospect that you think about
like, oh, I complained aboutthat thing, or I didn't even
(09:56):
give a second thought to thisthing, that I actually was
actually really good for me, oractually I could have been
really grateful for it, um, andso I think what is?
I think, as we continue topractice gratitude and, as you
said, get older and reallybecome more intentional about um
being grateful, I think thepractice comes in in, in, in
(10:21):
being grateful in the moment, orgetting better at being
grateful in the moment asopposed to in retrospect or as
opposed to, you know, waitinguntil after the fact, and then
you think about oh wait,actually.
So that is what I endeavor todo is like this thing has
happened maybe it wasn, maybe itwas unexpected, or maybe it
wasn't something that I wantedper se but in immediately in the
(10:45):
moment, thinking, cool,everything is happening for my
highest good.
I understand this, I'm gratefulfor this and just keep it
moving, because I think thatthat's how you, you maintain
kind of a high vibration, maybea high connection.
I mean a connection to your,your higher self.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
That may begin a
little too woo woo, a little bit
too spiritual for some peoplebut yeah, it's funny Cause I
feel like I've again I'm, I'm,I'm working towards, I'm always
working towards this betterversion of me, right, and I
think we all are, ultimately.
But you said something that umstuck out to me just now of
(11:24):
really trying to be intentionaland be grateful in the moment
and not in retrospect.
Yeah, and I find that justthinking about those specific
moments in time for me, I findI'm able to do that more with
the like simplistic moments oflife.
Yes, and I have always been arain person.
Like I love rain, right, thesound of it, the sound of a
(11:47):
thunderstorm, it just I don'tknow musically or whatever it is
, but like it just doessomething to me.
And I usually, especially inNew York City, because so many
people are moving, you know, amillion miles a minute and like
trying to get from point A topoint B, the city kind of stops
a little when it like reallyrains because people don't want
(12:08):
to be in it, right, andespecially when it's been like
gloomy for a few days and peoplehave like seasonal depression
and all that stuff, it can kindof like put a damper on the day.
And it's funny because those,those are the moments that I
find myself being grateful inthe moment, because I'm like the
we, we needed this rain, right,we needed this moment.
Like most times, the humidityin the air is already thick and
(12:32):
you can feel it just kind ofwaiting to happen and to pour
out, and I find, when thosehappen, when those moments
happen in the city, I findmyself being like, oh, thank you
, we actually we needed this.
You know, like, we needed thiscool down, or or you know we've
gone through a drought for a fewmonths, or a few weeks or
whatever it is, and when that,then when that release finally
(12:55):
happens, it's, you know, acollective sigh of relief, even
if people are annoyed by it.
Um, have you experienced anyany size of relief in your life
when it comes to this trajectorythat you're on of, like trying
to manifest the things that youwant?
Like have you been able toactually manifest something
(13:16):
currently?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
everything I have, um
, it's, it's.
It's really hard to that's ahard question to answer, because
it's literally everything Ihave um, I, I'm I'm overlooking
my car right now, like I know, Imanifested that um, um, I the,
(13:41):
the, the place that I'm livingin, this, this, this town home
that I'm living in.
I've manifested literallyeverything that I have, um, and
I think the beauty of that isoften or I guess I'll just speak
for myself often I don'trealize what I'm manifesting, um
, or I don't realize, like, the,the, the next step that's about
(14:04):
to occur, or the things thatI'm really um, or where I really
want to be.
I never know, and we can neverknow right, we can never know,
like, what is coming next, um,and so, yeah, like literally
everything.
Uh, my job, like I started Istarted a new job in January of
this year, had no idea that itwas coming, but it came exactly
(14:27):
at the right time.
So, like every single thing Ihave, I have manifested Um, so
it's, it's.
There's no one thing I canpinpoint, because it's literally
everything.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
I love that.
Yeah, I feel that that'ssomething that I've like.
Again, I'm still new ish to tothis space, but in an effort to
try to like continue to be abetter version of myself, year
to year, month to month, I findthat there I agree with you in
(15:03):
saying that, like I think thereare some things that I
unintentionally manifested thatI wasn't thinking about, or,
like you know, writing it downnecessarily or speaking it
constantly out into the universe.
This apartment is one of thosethings.
This, this is, I mean, this maybe, you know, sharing too much,
but this is a rent controlledapartment in New York City which
(15:25):
is very hard to find.
When we found this place, wewere not aware that it was rent
controlled.
They didn't disclose that fromthe beginning.
It wasn't until the leaserenewal came that we found out
that it was actually a rentcontrolled building and in New
York City it is one of thosethings that people are like very
(15:48):
much trying to find.
Like trying to find anapartment that is affordable.
That is, you know, Brooklyn forlike five years and I had gone
to Disney and worked for about ayear and came back to New York
(16:13):
and the pandemic happened andwent back to that apartment and
when we were at this crossroadswith either staying in this
place with an additionalroommate or moving out and
finding our own place, I verymuch was at a place in my life
(16:34):
at that time where I was like Ithink I'm done with the roommate
thing, like I really want aplace of my own and I would
prefer it to be in thisneighborhood and I would prefer
it to be something that, likeI'm not moving, you know year to
year or like in two years orwhatever it is.
Not thinking that, as I'm notmoving, you know year to year or
like in two years or whateverit is, yeah, not thinking that,
as I'm thinking all of thesethings and saying these things
out loud, that I'm actuallymanifesting this.
(16:56):
This apartment that I have beenin now for almost four years,
yeah, um, so I do believe that,like there's so much power in
speaking and writing and beingintentional behind the things
you want in life Is is there.
Let me go back, because I knowwe've been talking about this,
(17:17):
but I want to make sure thatlisteners and people watching
have some sort of information oflike how to actually do this.
So can you just share with uswhen it comes to manifesting
things, whether it be verbal oractually writing it down.
What does that look like foryou when you are trying to to be
intentional about the thingsthat you want to do for life?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
yeah.
So I do believe, um, especiallyfor me, um, especially for me,
I do believe that my power, my,my like, my power of
manifestation lies in writing.
Um, because I have, and that's,whether you're literally
(18:01):
writing or typing, like gettingit down on something where you
can actually see the words, Ithink, is so so much more
powerful than simply thinkingthem or simply saying them,
although speaking, thoughspeaking, the words is powerful
as well.
But I have seen things on anumber of occasions that I have
(18:25):
written down, that have occurred, whether it's over time or
whether it was the next day,like and some, and sometimes
again, it's I'm not even tryingto do it and then it happens.
I'm like, oh, I wrote that down, I wrote that down.
(18:45):
Or sometimes, as I'm writing it, I'm so focused with my
intention that I know for a factthat it's going to happen.
I'll give you an example.
So this is a crazy example, butwhen I first moved to this city,
I encountered a ratherunpleasant man at this new gym
(19:12):
that I joined.
As a matter of fact, he was oneof those Geminis I was telling
you about last week, the one Ialmost got into a fight with.
So it was such an unpleasantencounter and I had never had an
encounter like that before.
That night I wrote in myjournal and I was so intently
(19:38):
focused.
I wrote in my journal I willnever see that man again and I
never saw that man again.
And so it's, it's, it's almostlike I, it's almost like I have
to be careful about what I write, because I know that that is a
wonderful way to manifest thosethings.
(19:58):
So, yeah, I'm I'm grateful forthe gift of writing, because I
started writing when I was inmiddle school.
Because I started writing whenI was in middle school, I
started writing poetry and thatfelt like such a.
It just felt so right, it feltlike such an amazing creative
outlet, and so it's beensomething that has been my thing
for the better part of my life,and so I really understand the
(20:22):
power in writing.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
That's funny, because
I do not consider myself a
writer.
People have been trying toconvince me to write my own show
and all of those things and I'mlike, but that's just not my
jam, y'all.
Um, it's interesting listeningto you, um, speak so, uh,
(20:46):
consciously and intentionalabout writing everything down,
because I although that's not aspace that I inhabit that
frequently because I do do itsometimes.
I have my notes app and I'mlike, we'll jot things down.
Or if I'm, if I'm seriouslymeditating on something, or
something sitting with me, Iwill write it down and say, okay
(21:06):
, this is what I want.
Or something sitting with me, Iwill write it down and say,
okay, this is what I want, thisis what I'm after.
Um, this is how I envisioned mylife in the next five years.
Um, but I find myself speakingthings a lot more um, and not
even not even necessarily tosomeone else.
There are moments in the showerwhere I'm saying where you know,
where I'm saying I'm going tohave a good day today, you know
(21:30):
or I'm going to book this job,I'm going to have, I'm going to
get an audition for this, andjust I've gotten in the habit of
just letting those things fallout in some of those things, if,
if, not all of them haveactually come to me.
But I've also found and I'vehad this conversation with
(21:51):
someone else, I've also foundthat in this idea of trying to
manifest the things that youwant, you have to be very, um,
yes, intentional, but alsoreceptive to those things and
very specific in what you want.
Right, like you can't just say Iwant a car because you could
end up with, you know, a usedwhat I'm not cars, but like you
(22:17):
know what I mean you could, youcould end up with something that
was not what you actuallywanted or desired.
So, being very specific in whatyou, are I?
Speaker 2 (22:28):
I, I am of two minds
about specificity when it comes
to manifestation.
Um, because I feel like I've,I've, I've done both and I feel
like I get shot in the footeither way sometimes.
So I I feel like, when I amextremely specific and I'm very
(22:56):
much a all or nothing, black andwhite kind of person so if I am
extremely specific about thething I want and I don't get
exactly that thing like, forinstance, I'm trying to man, I
am manifesting a brand new carright now and I want a specific
model, I want specific featuresand this, this, this, this.
If there's one thing missingout of that, I'm like see, I
(23:18):
shouldn't have been specificbecause I knew how to do that.
So then I go to the side ofwell, let me just be general,
because I know what I want andI'm going to just trust the
universe, and then you get towhere you get something that
well.
So it's kind of like you'redamned if you do, you're damned
if you don't.
Sometimes I understand peoplesaying specificity and I do
(23:40):
think I mean, I do think thatthat is like the best way to
manifest.
But yeah, sometimes I'm justlike I didn't get 100% of it, I
got 98%, but I'm still not happy.
You know I get that.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
I get that.
I also think there's a certainlevel of openness that has to
exist, right, when you're tryingto get these things to come
towards you.
Um, because if you were goingout into the world and saying
you want these things to come atyou, but you're not open to any
(24:17):
version of them, right, becauseI think, in, in listening to
you just now, I think there'sstill a level of vulnerability
and openness that exists, um,even in the non-specific, this
non-specific thing that you'reafter, um, but you're still very
open to, even if it wasn't thatparticular car, with all of
those specific things, you stillwant a new car, right, like the
(24:40):
desire, still wanting whateverthat thing is.
And I think that is usually thekind of um, slight nuance that
people probably get hung up onto, where they're like, oh well,
then nothing's happening, likenothing's coming to me and I'm
like, no, but like if you, ifyou're, if you're actually open
to it, like yes, you may say youwant I don't know, a new
(25:04):
boyfriend or a new girlfriend orwhatever, right, that person
may not be if you weren't asspecific enough.
They may not be all of thosethings, right, but they might
exist in them, but it's going totake time for those things to
come out right, like it takes alittle bit of of of time and
(25:26):
effort to then get that versionthat you're actually after, but
they're still the right personfor you, okay, you know.
At least that's how I see it.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
I think and I think
that's a great way to see it, I
really do.
I think that, yeah, that issomething I got to work on
myself.
I got to work on myself with itbecause even my therapist has
therapist has told me like thatyou can't be all or nothing, you
can't be black and white.
Like you know, there is a grayarea and often it's a great,
(25:55):
it's a great thing to exist inthat gray area.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Yeah, yeah, and I am
a huge fan of possibilities.
Like, I think, people who knowme personally, I'm always
thinking of a million possibleways that things can happen.
I'm like you know, this persondidn't make a decision based off
of this one thing, like thereare so many other factors
involved in whatever decisionthat we make.
Like you think about gettingdressed in the morning.
(26:19):
You know it is a matter of whatis the weather like, how am I
feeling today, what fits, whatdoesn't fit Right.
All of these are the factorsthat contribute to you know, and
even which I think is a greatparlay into you as a stylist,
what have you been able tomanifest in that medium?
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Oh, I would say
clients.
I would say honestly, I wouldsay becoming a stylist was
something that I manifested,that I didn't even realize I was
manifesting.
I go on these wild life takesme on these wild journeys up
(27:11):
with um, like my last big ex um,because earlier, early in our
(27:37):
relationship, he he was, he washe needed to put together some
clothes for something I can'tremember, and I was over his
house and he was talking aboutit and I was like, well, either
he asked me for my help or Ioffered my help, and so we went
upstairs to his closet and Ijust specifically remember being
(27:58):
so in the zone and, because itwas someone that I had this
affection for, it was as ifnothing else existed, it was as
if I was so keenly focused andit just felt so right.
And so I always returned tothat moment and I think I know
(28:19):
that that is the silver liningof our, of our relationship or
our breakup or whatever, becauseI would not have gotten to the
to, to the point of realizingjust how passionate I am and
just how much I love likehelping people find their style
or putting people into clothes,if it would not, if it weren't
for, like that moment and acouple of other moments with him
(28:41):
.
Now, prior to knowing him, I haddone like some personal
shopping with like some highschool friends like several
years prior, because I was likeI do really kind of like this,
but I never really was seriousabout it.
But then that came back up andI was like TJ, yeah, all of this
because my brain often runs amile a minute.
(29:02):
I'm very cerebral, but when Iam styling, nothing else is
going on except I can see this,I can move, I, this looks good,
let's put a shoe with it.
That is how I know.
So I feel like just me becominga stylist was manifested in me
(29:22):
meeting him and going throughthat whole thing, and that's why
one of my life's mantras iseverything happens for a reason.
So and that's why I also saythat I, we are constantly
manifesting things, reallywithout even knowing it, because
we're always getting to theplace that we our purpose in
life, our calling in life, butwe may just not even realize it.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
I agree, yeah, and I
believe that there is a certain
level of, um, uh, there's acertain level of, like, destiny
that exists in each of our lives, that there are just paths that
are inevitable.
Right, there are paths thatthat will, paths that will cross
(30:04):
, that are meant to happen, thatinfluence your story and how
your entire life is shaped.
That's yeah, that's beautiful.
I love that.
I love that, like, even in thisrelationship that did not
necessarily turn out the way youmight have thought it would
have, it was intentional andintegral into your overall story
(30:27):
and you finding this, thismoment, out of your life.
I love that.
I love that, yeah, um, so weare at time damn, yeah, all
right yeah I mean, but that'show these things go.
You know they come and go soquickly.
Everyone comes and goes soquickly here, but I want to say
(30:52):
thank you, thank you, thank youfor doing this, thank you.
This has been even better thanour conversation last week for
sure, yes where can the folksfind you Even?
Speaker 2 (31:06):
better than our
conversation last week, for sure
.
Yes, where can the folks findyou?
You can find me pretty muchanywhere at Bizarre Hodgepodge.
That's B-Z-A-R-H-O-D-G-P-O-D-G.
That's me on Instagram.
On YouTube, I have a website,bizarrehodgepodgecom, and that
will pretty much get you to anyof my platforms.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Perfect.
And then, before we go, we liketo do this thing called the
Last Three here on Tea with TJ,three questions unrelated to the
topic and you can answer howfreely you would like.
Okay.
I suppose, when do you find themost peace?
Speaker 2 (31:49):
Where do I find the
most peace?
Where do I find the most peace?
In my house, um.
So I'm very introverted, um,I'm working on becoming an
ambivert, but I'm naturally anintrovert, so I find the most
peace when I am like at home, um, sometimes in silence, but
sometimes just like chilling out, watching something that
doesn't require a lot of brainwork on tv, just give my brain a
break.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
But generally at home
, I love that same, uh, what are
you most afraid of?
Speaker 2 (32:17):
oh, um, what am I
most afraid of so many things?
I guess I'm most afraid of notfully realizing my purpose or
(32:42):
not making the impact that I'mhere to make.
Um yeah, not doing the thingthat I'm supposed to do while I
am here.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
I love that.
That's yeah, same, uh.
And then final question Um, howdo you practice gratitude?
Speaker 2 (33:05):
I write them down.
I write things down, I sit downand I really think about all of
the things that I have and howmy lived experience is, and
often looks, so very differentthan a lot of other people's.
(33:27):
Um, this gratitude practicethat I'm doing right now is
truly making me see, um, howgrateful I should have always
been, and it's also also showingme a lot of privilege or
privileges that I've had, thatI've taken for granted, and so I
(33:48):
am in the habit, or thepractice, of really truly
writing those things down.
If I can't write them down inthe moment, then I just think
them, I speak them and just sayyou know, I am so thankful for X
, y and Z, or I am so gratefulfor whatever it may be, and
really just put it out there,just so the powers that be
(34:11):
understand that I am not tryingto take these things for granted
.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Well, with that,
thank you so much again for
doing this thank you for havingme and with that, folks, I will
see you next week and that's ourshow.
Friends, thanks for joining uson tea with tj.
Please rate, review andsubscribe, and you can find us
on Instagram at Tea with TJPodcast.
(34:41):
And, as always, stay kind, keepsipping and remember we're here
, so you might as well do it.