Carl Willis: Me And Your Momma

In-Print: Self Published Must Reads
Over the course of the next few months I intend on interviewing and sharing ONLY self-published authors and their books. Writing and publishing a book is a huge deal and should be celebrated. Over the course of the next few months we're going to talk about real stories, their origins, and teachable moments along the way.

Carl Willis wrote Me And Your Momma: A Long Story Short You can click the link to buy if you're interested. I met Carl on Clubhouse, the social app, and his book information was in his Instagram bio (also linked) and as soon as I read the description below I knew I had to interview him for this series! In this episode, Carl and I go deeper on all of the issues he touches on in his book and his personal experiences.

Me and Your Mama: A Long Story Short is the result of 5 years of reflection, therapy, and personal accountability from the author. It dispels the myth of black men's unwillingness to do either therefore passing down trauma to their kids. This book wrestles with the importance of healing from childhood trauma, police misconduct, and forgiveness. This journey to healing begins in the small town of Thomaston, Georgia, and leads him through several cities throughout the east coast where he learned valuable lessons. By combining his own story with wisdom given through various sources, Carl Willis hopes Me and Your Mama: A Long Story Short will empower you to seek your own healing.

More about the author: Carl Willis is an author and aspiring screenplay writer from Thomaston Ga. He is a father and a lover of all things music and art. His latest book called Me & Your Mama: A Long Story Short discusses the importance of fatherhood, co parenting do’s and don’ts, and the importance of healing from childhood trauma and forgiveness. It’s available now on Amazon with the audiobook soon coming to streaming platforms.

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Episode Transcript

Intro (00:01):
This is the teachable soul podcast. Because we cannot
on the journey to success.
here's your host, Kat Daniels.

Kat Daniels (00:22):
Welcome to the teachable soul podcast. I'm your
And if you all haven't been onclubhouse yet, I'm sorry, if you

(00:57):
anything. But I mean, as apodcaster, obviously, I just
you today. And his name is CarlWillis. Thank you for joining

Carl Willis (01:32):
What drove me to write it, it was what I start

(01:53):
you know, the situation ended.
And, you know, at the time, shethat period, a woman that I was

(02:19):
dating at the time, she, youcool for it. But I started and I
loved it. You know, I love like,make this into a book. And I

(02:56):
think maybe after a couple ofwith my trauma head from, you

(03:19):
know, my childhood and how Inutshell, the story is a story

(03:40):
of like a fatherless Boy, that'shave with my son. Regarding, you

(04:02):
know, some of my life lessons,learn from earlier than I did.
So. that's it in a nutshell.

Kat Daniels (04:26):
Yeah. That's, I mean, there's so many things
happened?

Carl Willis (04:44):
This was about he was four, actually. Four, he had

Kat Daniels (04:52):
Okay, and then so how long was it before you were

Carl Willis (04:56):
18 months, 13 days,

Kat Daniels (04:59):
not that you counted. So, so he was like

Carl Willis (05:15):
Man, it was bringing back memories. And I

(05:36):
spent that hole. BecauseInitially, it was just a couple
raised around and just wanted togive him like a introduction

Kat Daniels (06:17):
yeah, but so I have questions about how you decided

Carl Willis (06:35):
I don't know, I just I just, it was just
like public consumption, Ireally wanted just to have this

(07:13):
to communicate and justdifferent stuff and transparency
kept putting it down, I keptgetting messages to keep it up.

(07:52):
way through. So

Kat Daniels (07:53):
right. So the themes of the book and the
talked about generationalcurses. So what were some of the

Carl Willis (08:15):
So one of the main things is something that I
attention to it until, you know,years ago when I was in therapy.

(09:01):
father. I was probably about2627 at the time. And we kind of

(09:27):
certain point, I stepped backand notice that oh, this is

(09:50):
myself. I'm working to becomejust better in general. So

Kat Daniels (09:54):
Wow, that's amazing that you were able to have that
some of the things that yourfather had told you? Had he been

Carl Willis (10:26):
No, just a lot of the. So I blame. I think that

(10:52):
know, I was around and more, andI started learning a little bit
the house, and which kind ofdrove him to get into the

(11:31):
childhood in general, I wasgoing out to my son. So I had to

Kat Daniels (11:41):
So you didn't grow up with your dad either?

Carl Willis (11:43):
No, no, I didn't grow up around him. I told a
or $20 a piece from him. Me andmy older sister knew we would

Kat Daniels (12:09):
Okay, so did your parents split up when you were

Carl Willis (12:16):
Were you split up when I was about I think

(12:37):
had a, he had a kid about threeyears after I was born. And so

(12:58):
years. My father wanted toresolve. I remember, vaguely,

Kat Daniels (13:14):
Wow. So your dad left around the same time? Or

Carl Willis (13:34):
I didn't. You know, I didn't because that became I

(13:56):
you must have liked it. Andbecame like, they kind of
that's just you know, he isfresh or that's that's a Georgia

(14:39):
whatever is taking that oh, youknow, I know a lot of men that
until you know recently lastMaybe two years or so. Wow.

Kat Daniels (15:02):
I know. I mean, I think that a really good example
the little boy or or evenpublicly, were saying, like, Oh,

Carl Willis (15:40):
And I feel like we don't we don't, just in this
really know who's there. I don'tknow. He's just real cautious

(16:15):
our parents really did keep tabson us as much as I do with my

(16:36):
bit more. But what I what I dosee is that the same boys, that

Kat Daniels (16:55):
Yep, absolutely, I am. I found myself doing similar
to know them for a while before.
Like, I'll let them I'll let hermy son and like, let go a little

(17:31):
bit more with my daughter. But Iaware that there are people out
there who want to take advantage

Carl Willis (17:59):
Sometimes there's no Handbook, there's no
existence, I definitely want to,I don't want to give the same

(18:35):
different, you know, you have toallow for a little, you know,

(18:59):
years. So I can see a lot ofthings going to change. So pray

Kat Daniels (19:07):
Yeah, mine will be entering into high school next

(19:30):
before. Like, not for 100 years.
So I'm just, I don't know, I'm

Carl Willis (19:40):
That's all you can do.

Kat Daniels (19:42):
Right? For sure. So what are some of the teachable

Carl Willis (19:58):
Yes, yes.

Kat Daniels (19:59):
yeah. So now it's been like you've had some years

Carl Willis (20:04):
I think initially, because at the time, you know,

(20:26):
seriously. And having an ex,that you have a kid by that, you

(20:52):
discipline, a lot of chatter, Iremember one thing in
you know. And so, I remember oneepisode, we got into the

(21:31):
conversation with himafterwards. And he's in the

(21:52):
telling him some things to kindof turn him against me. But she,
where I said, Hey, he's not aseven, eight year old kid that I

(22:30):
think that he doesn't know somethings already. So I had to
lot of things. And definitely,you know, had been working in

(23:13):
bad texts. Right? There's a lotof debt, but we're on the right.

Kat Daniels (23:20):
So I mean, talking about, you know, parents,
father personally, did thathappen with you and your son or

Carl Willis (23:43):
Definitely, you know, he think that he... she

(24:04):
he definitely would make certaincomments that I didn't feel good
felt like he was young, but hewas too young. But some of the

(24:40):
discuss in the book. Like I grewup. I grew up in a was as a man

(25:02):
years, I realized that oh, Ineed to really do work on

(25:22):
and that's what I've done. I'vetried to do more and more each

Kat Daniels (25:32):
Well I think you're doing a good job so far.
So I mean, I grewup, I feel like I grew up in

(25:55):
told, I don't know if I was evertold this, but it was definitely

Carl Willis (26:07):
That's funny. I th nk we have a bunch of similariti

(26:29):
is that, you know, we hve responsibilities that we had
ve responsibilities that arein life. And so they helped me i

(27:02):
le school, they're trying to goee the guy, you know, differ
me somewhat of a class clownI think personally. And so I en

(27:42):
a girl that stayed near me. AnI was super horny at the time.

(28:04):
I don't remember exactly wat happened that morning, I w

(28:26):
id no, they took me down tohe preci

Kat Daniels (28:29):
in sixth grade.
Yes, you know, parents,

Carl Willis (28:33):
yes, or no parents.
And so they took me down to thethink situation. You remember,

(28:54):
have you ever sorted. Now, thisyou know, harassing their

(29:15):
parents to it. They just really,my situation was on a smaller
scale. What happened was thewe know you did if you made to

(29:57):
get called Maybe only sixyou know, Judy corn and

(30:20):
different things. And my motheryour house, she said, as a TV

(30:41):
star sit as a dresser with a TVprobation, because it is my

(31:02):
mother felt that I was becomingtrajectory of my life, I guess
you could say, I found out yearsdidn't want to get them in

(31:40):
trouble. So she painted on me.

Kat Daniels (31:50):
which brings up like, so many other issues, like

(32:10):
are somehow on her side, justautomatically and say, yeah, you

Carl Willis (32:15):
Yeah, yeah, that was that was a that was just

Kat Daniels (32:25):
Right. Have you?
Had you ever been? Like, what

Carl Willis (32:36):
When we you know, we grew up in neighborhoods
anxiety, you wander around or,you know, when the lights come

(33:10):
didn't know what it was, butdidn't take out, you know,
of, a lot of times they prey onthe, you know, an educated and,

Kat Daniels (33:35):
yeah, I always grew up afraid of the police too. But

(33:56):
usually call toxic masculinity,which I want to clarify that

Carl Willis (34:17):
Okay, good.

Kat Daniels (34:19):
So,

Carl Willis (34:20):
can you talk about some of the toxicity that you
that I grew from when I startedwriting the book was that I'm

(35:05):
that, just being a nerd,everything, science, you know,

(35:30):
environment, right. So gettingin high school and being, you

(35:52):
to get at me, and how thataffected my ego, and how it

(36:13):
do now, prior to going intorelationships, for the wrong

(36:37):
because of physical reasons. Youknow, I mean, so having to learn

(37:02):
the same situation? I remember,one of my, I call him Oh, gee,

(37:30):
know, that I want in my life. Sothat's been, I

Kat Daniels (37:33):
think, the biggest thing for me this year, I find a
the time, or that they don'twant it ever. And I don't know,

(38:06):
between being introduced tosomething physical like that at

Carl Willis (38:23):
Yes. And that was a dark period. Because my past, I

(38:47):
supposed to be drinking once youdie, but she was just living her

(39:08):
house. And it came in and hismother was drinking a little so

(39:28):
And his little sister wasprobably about 10. And they were
other's back and I swear, maybelike 1015 minutes later, she

(40:06):
know, and they give her this andhe did his routine where we
necessary to put in a car anddrive it to the hospital. So,

(40:46):
it just, it just weighed on meall at once, right? So from that
the next couple of years that Ireally questioned my faith. I

(41:23):
into my senior year in college,and I had just met my son's

(41:43):
know, to my hometown, as acollege dropout. I was like an
that, like my father called mehadn't spoke to him in a while

Kat Daniels (42:23):
hung up the phone and exchanged words. They're

Carl Willis (42:29):
Yeah, definitely did. You know, and I was down
this mother, maybe my father'sright. And I was just down. And

(43:06):
someone told me answer thephone. And I answered anyway.
She said if you if you pray, whyworry. And if you worry, why

(43:42):
stuff, just put it in the handsof God. And you know, if you if

(44:04):
to lead my life and stop tryingto direct it myself as much. And

Kat Daniels (44:14):
Awesome. Yeah, I have been on a spiritual journey

(44:36):
but it was still very, it wasthe very same themes, you know,
was ever told was a lie. And soyeah, which I mean, it's not

Carl Willis (45:04):
Is it? So that's another topic for another.

Kat Daniels (45:13):
Plenty, but I don't know how much time you've got.

Carl Willis (45:16):
So definitely a long discussion about that. But
things were going, Well, youknow, I didn't speak to him at

(45:51):
know, trying to in my late lastrelationship, you know, she was
small town, I know, things havechanged. Now. It's become big

(46:28):
where they were selling like,you know, the state, they had a
were giving special shout outshout outs to the people that,

(47:03):
gotten closer to God withouteven stepping foot in a church.

Kat Daniels (47:23):
Yeah, I couldn't agree more. I am. I went the
was, and I had a bad experiencewith like the people who are

(47:58):
they're like, Oh, we dobackground checks. And I'm like,

(48:18):
Mom, you do thesame thing over here.
Alright, so one more thing,before we close up here, I

Carl Willis (48:41):
Yeah. So music is one of my passions, like, I

(49:06):
sunlight? How was that it becamethat period became easier with

(49:29):
yearning for the is because, youknow, I was trying to I was just
my Instagram, by the way. Thefirst one that came on was a gap

(50:08):
chapter after that particularsong, every song, every chapter

(50:29):
we talked about it, but he's thetype of kid that wants to know,

(50:51):
helps us bridge that gap andunderstand each other better, as

Kat Daniels (50:59):
I remember growing up in our family, like, my
one corner of Kansas toMissouri, which was like an

(51:36):
where the majority of my goodmemories surround his music. So

Carl Willis (51:49):
Remember, like, different time periods. In my

(52:12):
playing. So there's a lot ofthat in my life. I remember

Kat Daniels (52:25):
my not to ramble, but like when my sister was in,
what she was doing not even likeattempting to copy her just to

(53:00):
music because she added up soloud, I could hear it. And I
is so dumb but she turned me onto the Spice Girls at that time,

Carl Willis (53:33):
snaps back.

Kat Daniels (53:35):
They did they did.
They were banging. Alright,

Carl Willis (53:48):
My next book? I want to give it I haven't said
Definitely. Definitelydiscourteous, a lot of you know,

(54:31):
and two now trying to date thattoday. No. Trying to date after

(54:56):
have to figure out a way todivert from Have a familiar

(55:19):
just started writing last coupleof days, so I got inspired. I'm

Kat Daniels (55:29):
would love that.
That's a fantastic topic too.
anybody wants to reach out toyou about your book or anything?

Carl Willis (55:51):
My Instagram. Is that the one of my favorite

Kat Daniels (56:14):
Perfect. All right, and I'll put those down in the

Carl Willis (56:18):
Thank you so much again. Oh, no,

Kat Daniels (56:21):
thank you. It has been my pleasure. You have been
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