January 19, 2025 • 12 mins
Ever felt like the demands of the classroom are pulling you in too many directions, leaving no room for personal time? Discover how to reclaim your schedule and mental well-being with practical boundary-setting strategies in our latest episode of the Teachers Ed Podcast. Host Edward DeShazer sheds light on the necessity of defining work hours and the art of saying no to non-essential commitments. By setting clear expectations with colleagues, students, administrators, and parents, educators can transform their work-life balance, fostering a healthier and more productive environment both professionally and personally.
Prepare to be empowered with actionable advice on preserving energy and protecting precious personal time. We discuss the profound impact of dedicating at least one day or evening each week solely to self-care, emphasizing that rest is not a luxury but a critical component of effective teaching. Through real-life examples and expert insights, this episode is a treasure trove of tips for educators at any stage of their career, from teachers to principals and counselors. Join us to explore how establishing firm boundaries can help you show up as the best version of yourself, benefiting your students, family, and your own well-being.
www.EdwardDeShazer.org
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
All right, welcome to Teachers Ed Podcast, the place
where the best and brightest ineducation come to be inspired,
to connect, to learn and to grow.
I'm your host, edward DeShazer.
Today's topic is one we've beengoing over, but we're going to
go just a little bit deepertoday and that is setting
boundaries deeper today.
And that is setting boundaries.
And let's face it, as teachers,as principals, as educators, as
(00:34):
counselors, whatever you do ina school, you are often being
pulled a million differentdirections.
The endless emails, all theafter school committees, the
coaching, and then let's talkabout all the personal things as
a parent, as a spouse, as a kid, you know, as a son, daughter,
whatever other titles you have,you are being pulled a million
different directions.
And the request for do you justhave one second?
(00:54):
That we know turn into 45minute calls and that can feel
overwhelming, and that oftenhappens.
And that that feeling ofoverwhelm comes when we don't
have boundaries and usually whatfollows is we begin to burn out
.
So today I want to give youthree practical tips for setting
(01:14):
boundaries so you are able toprotect your time, protect your
energy, protect your mentalhealth.
More than anything, that iswhat is critical.
So tip number one.
We want to set work hours andstick to them.
Someone listening is like well,I have my contract hours and
I'm not talking about yourcontract hours, although there's
a lot of people like.
(01:35):
My contract says I work from715 to 307 and at 307, I'm done
working.
If you feel that way, I'm notgoing to sit here and argue with
you.
What I'm telling you is it isOK to work beyond your contract
hours, but what I'm also goingto tell you is you should not be
only working outside of yourcontract hours.
So one of the things I alwaysencourage an educator to do is
(01:56):
set boundaries around those workhours.
Teaching is a job that caneasily consume your entire life
if you allow it and if you letit.
But you are not a betterteacher just because you are
working 24-7.
There was such a grind cultureof well, you know, teachers were
almost competing to see who wasdoing more work.
(02:18):
Well, I got here at 6.30 am.
Oh, I got there at 6.15 am.
You know, that was the culturewhere I first got an education
almost 20 years ago.
That is not the culture that weneed to be having, because,
whatever it is, the work isstill going to be there tomorrow
, so setting those clear hoursand committing to them.
For example, maybe yourcontract ends at 3.07, but you
(02:38):
say that after 5 pm I'm nolonger answering emails, I'm no
longer grading papers, I'm nolonger planning lessons, and I
know that's hard at first, butthe work is gonna be there.
The papers aren't going where,they're not gonna get legs and
crawl off your desk.
They'll be sitting therewaiting for you when you show up
tomorrow.
(02:58):
It's one thing for us to set theboundaries, but it's also
critical that we communicate theboundaries to the people that
are around us, whether they areyour teachers on the hall, your
students, your administrators,your principals and even the
parents.
You know parents will step allover the boundaries.
You start answering texts at 9pm at night.
(03:20):
You're going to start gettingmore texts at 9 pm at night.
Text at 9 pm at night.
You're going to start gettingmore texts at 9 pm at night.
So one of the things I actuallyhave in my email signature just
to help people acknowledge thatI understand that people have
boundaries and let me pull it upis my email has a self-care
notice and it says receivingthis email outside of normal
work hours.
Question mark.
(03:40):
Managing work amongst our otherresponsibilities, is unique for
everyone.
I've sent this email at a timethat works best for me.
Please respond at a time thatworks best for you.
So it's very critical that I'mcommunicating with others, that,
hey, maybe this email came outat five in the morning.
I'm not expecting you torespond at five in the morning.
This is just the time thatworks best for me.
Please respond when a timeworks best for you.
(04:06):
So setting the boundary is onething, but as educators, often
we set the boundaries but thenwe don't communicate with others
what those boundaries are andthey step all over them.
But the thing I want us toreally know and understand is
boundaries aren't barriers.
They are bridges to a betterhealth, a stronger performance
for you as a person, as aneducator.
And by setting work hours, youare not being lazy.
You're being intentional aboutshowing up during those hours as
(04:29):
your best self.
And if you're thinking, youknow my school expects me to be
available all the time.
I want you to remember this.
You teach people how to treatyou.
If you make yourself available24, seven people are going to
assume that that is the norm.
So I want us this week to startsmall, set one boundary and
then build from there.
(04:49):
And before I move into the nexttip, I want to take a second to
highlight Be Well TeacherAcademy.
Be Well Teacher Academy is acommunity that is designed
specifically for educators likeyourself who want to prioritize
their self-care and prioritizetheir mental wellness.
You get access to live events.
We just had one yesterday, wehave another one coming up on
Sunday, january 26th.
We have resources to help youset boundaries, manage stress
(05:13):
and find more balance in yourlife.
And, as I said, don't forget,there's an event next week.
I have three other dynamicspeakers that are going to be
coming in to pour into you nextweek.
It is free to everyone.
That is a part of the community.
The first seven days are free.
So head over towwwbewellteachercom and sign up
(05:33):
today.
So if you're listening to thistoday and it's Sunday, if you
sign up tomorrow, the firstseven days are free.
So you can even get the firstevent for free and decide you
don't like it, and you can leavebefore you have to pay a dollar
.
So there's no risk.
So join today,wwwbewellteachercom, all right.
Tip number two is learning tosay no with grace.
Saying no can be uncomfortable,especially for teachers and
(05:55):
educators, who are often themost selfless people in their
families.
We are used to being the onesthat are constantly saying yes
to everything and everyone thatgets put on our plate.
But I want us to think that ifyou say yes to every extra
committee, if you say yes toevery after school event, if you
say yes to every request from aparent, every request from a
student, you will find yourselfcompletely drained.
So I want to talk about how youcan say no with grace.
(06:20):
First, one is acknowledging therequest that is being asked of
you, you know, and saying thankyou.
You know, principal asks youhey, edward, you want to be on
this committee, you know.
Thank you for thinking of me.
You, we always want to start byacknowledging the request and
sharing gratitude.
Second, after that, I want youto offer a clear but kind
response.
I wish I could help, but Idon't have the capacity to take
(06:42):
that on right now.
You know, I I would love tojoin that community, but I just
don't have the bandwidth.
And finally, and if it isappropriate, to whomever you are
setting or saying no, to offeran alternative, have you
considered asking so-and-so forsupport?
You know they might be a greatfit for what you are looking for
, a great fit for what you arelooking for.
(07:05):
And this is powerful becausewhen you start to say no to
things that don't align withyour priorities, it allows you
the ability and the bandwidth tosay yes to things that are more
important.
You are preserving your energyfor your students, for your
family, for you, for yourwell-being and for just other
things that are very importantto you, and remembering that
(07:29):
saying no isn't selfish.
Saying no is strategic.
It is how you protect yourenergy so that you can give the
best to what truly matters.
Every time you say yes tosomething, you are taking time
away from and saying no tosomething else.
So I want us this week to beintentional with our yeses and
(07:52):
do not feel guilty for settinglimits.
Tip number three protecting yourpersonal time.
As teachers, we are wired toput everyone else's needs ahead
of our own, so I want us toreally start looking at our
personal time as being somethingthat is sacred, and protecting
(08:13):
it is going to be essential foryour self-care and for your
mental health.
I want us to start by carvingout at least one day or evening
each week just for you.
Or evening each week just foryou no grading papers, no emails
, no thinking about lesson plans, no, nothing.
(08:36):
Use that time to do somethingthat helps you fill your cup,
whether it's spending time withloved ones, maybe it's reading a
book with that candle, a hobbypainting.
I always say this gradingpapers is not a hobby or just
relaxing.
You know, for me, I love togolf.
That is how I well, obviously Ican't cause it's winter time,
but that is how I recharge mybattery.
But then the thing is, when youset that time, if someone tries
(08:59):
to creep and encroach in on thattime, I want you to hold firm,
politely, let them know that youknow I already have plans.
Or, and some of the thing too,is people like, hey, do you want
to do this?
And you don't have plans, butyou don't want to go.
Maybe your plans are doingnothing at home and that is a
plan.
You know we get guilty thinkingwell, I don't have anything, I
(09:19):
was just going to relax on thecouch, and then you go and jump
at.
You know, at dinners withfriends and family, all these
other things are in the week.
Doing nothing is a plan and Iwant us to understand that,
because you can say no and holdfirm.
Even if those plans are just tosit on the couch and watch your
favorite Netflix show, that isstill a plan.
So don't think you have to bebusy to have plans.
(09:40):
Your personal time has to be,and must be, non-negotiable.
Rest is not a luxury foreducators.
It has to be a necessity whenyou take care of yourself as a
person, when you take care ofyourself as a mother, when you
take care of yourself as afather, everyone else benefits.
No-transcript.
(10:07):
You deserve rest, you deservejoy and you deserve to feel
whole, not just for yourstudents, but, most importantly,
you deserve to feel whole foryourself.
So a quick recap of what we did.
Number one tit.
Number one set work hours andstick to them.
Whether it's, you know, mycontract hours start at seven,
(10:29):
my work hours start at 7.
My contract says I end at 3.07.
And I work until 5 pm is whenI'm done checking emails.
But you have to set those hoursand know in your head what
works best.
And then, most importantly, yougot to stick to them.
Some of y'all are setting stuffand you're not sticking to it
and you're wondering why it'sfailing.
Number two learning to say nowith grace.
So make sure that when someoneasks you, you start by
(10:51):
acknowledging and then, afteryou acknowledge you, let them
know you can't, and, if it works, you can offer them a solution.
Hey, have you tried this person?
I think they could be good atthat.
Maybe they'd be able to helpyou.
And then, last and mostimportantly and not least,
protecting your personal time.
We have to make sure that wehave time carved out for
ourselves, and it's set up likea meeting that you just can't
miss.
And I want us to remember thatboundaries aren't about shutting
(11:14):
people out.
They are about letting theright things in.
They are how you protect yourtime, they are how you protect
your energy, they are how youprotect your mental health, so
you can show up as the bestversion of yourself.
And again, I want to thank youall for tuning in to this week's
episode of the Teachers Edpodcast.
If this resonates with you, Iwould ask you to share us with a
colleague.
(11:34):
Please like, please subscribe,and don't forget to check out Be
Well Teacher Academywwwbewellteachercom.
If you're listening right nowit is Sunday.
Wait till tomorrow.
Sign up, you get set First.
(11:59):
Seven days are free, whichmeans you will get our first big
event, a two-hour virtual event, virtual experience that will
be for free, wwwbewellteachercom.
And until next time, take careof yourselves and make sure that
you continue to protect yourpeace so you can be the best you
(12:30):
, on a day-to-day basis, takecare, thank you.
All right, welcome to Teachers Ed Podcast, the place
where the best and brightest ineducation come to be inspired,
to connect, to learn and to grow.
I'm your host, edward DeShazer.
Today's topic is one we've beengoing over, but we're going to
go just a little bit deepertoday and that is setting
boundaries deeper today.
And that is setting boundaries.
And let's face it, as teachers,as principals, as educators, as
(00:34):
counselors, whatever you do ina school, you are often being
pulled a million differentdirections.
The endless emails, all theafter school committees, the
coaching, and then let's talkabout all the personal things as
a parent, as a spouse, as a kid, you know, as a son, daughter,
whatever other titles you have,you are being pulled a million
different directions.
And the request for do you justhave one second?
(00:54):
That we know turn into 45minute calls and that can feel
overwhelming, and that oftenhappens.
And that that feeling ofoverwhelm comes when we don't
have boundaries and usually whatfollows is we begin to burn out
.
So today I want to give youthree practical tips for setting
(01:14):
boundaries so you are able toprotect your time, protect your
energy, protect your mentalhealth.
More than anything, that iswhat is critical.
So tip number one.
We want to set work hours andstick to them.
Someone listening is like well,I have my contract hours and
I'm not talking about yourcontract hours, although there's
a lot of people like.
(01:35):
My contract says I work from715 to 307 and at 307, I'm done
working.
If you feel that way, I'm notgoing to sit here and argue with
you.
What I'm telling you is it isOK to work beyond your contract
hours, but what I'm also goingto tell you is you should not be
only working outside of yourcontract hours.
So one of the things I alwaysencourage an educator to do is
(01:56):
set boundaries around those workhours.
Teaching is a job that caneasily consume your entire life
if you allow it and if you letit.
But you are not a betterteacher just because you are
working 24-7.
There was such a grind cultureof well, you know, teachers were
almost competing to see who wasdoing more work.
(02:18):
Well, I got here at 6.30 am.
Oh, I got there at 6.15 am.
You know, that was the culturewhere I first got an education
almost 20 years ago.
That is not the culture that weneed to be having, because,
whatever it is, the work isstill going to be there tomorrow
, so setting those clear hoursand committing to them.
For example, maybe yourcontract ends at 3.07, but you
(02:38):
say that after 5 pm I'm nolonger answering emails, I'm no
longer grading papers, I'm nolonger planning lessons, and I
know that's hard at first, butthe work is gonna be there.
The papers aren't going where,they're not gonna get legs and
crawl off your desk.
They'll be sitting therewaiting for you when you show up
tomorrow.
(02:58):
It's one thing for us to set theboundaries, but it's also
critical that we communicate theboundaries to the people that
are around us, whether they areyour teachers on the hall, your
students, your administrators,your principals and even the
parents.
You know parents will step allover the boundaries.
You start answering texts at 9pm at night.
(03:20):
You're going to start gettingmore texts at 9 pm at night.
Text at 9 pm at night.
You're going to start gettingmore texts at 9 pm at night.
So one of the things I actuallyhave in my email signature just
to help people acknowledge thatI understand that people have
boundaries and let me pull it upis my email has a self-care
notice and it says receivingthis email outside of normal
work hours.
Question mark.
(03:40):
Managing work amongst our otherresponsibilities, is unique for
everyone.
I've sent this email at a timethat works best for me.
Please respond at a time thatworks best for you.
So it's very critical that I'mcommunicating with others, that,
hey, maybe this email came outat five in the morning.
I'm not expecting you torespond at five in the morning.
This is just the time thatworks best for me.
Please respond when a timeworks best for you.
(04:06):
So setting the boundary is onething, but as educators, often
we set the boundaries but thenwe don't communicate with others
what those boundaries are andthey step all over them.
But the thing I want us toreally know and understand is
boundaries aren't barriers.
They are bridges to a betterhealth, a stronger performance
for you as a person, as aneducator.
And by setting work hours, youare not being lazy.
You're being intentional aboutshowing up during those hours as
(04:29):
your best self.
And if you're thinking, youknow my school expects me to be
available all the time.
I want you to remember this.
You teach people how to treatyou.
If you make yourself available24, seven people are going to
assume that that is the norm.
So I want us this week to startsmall, set one boundary and
then build from there.
(04:49):
And before I move into the nexttip, I want to take a second to
highlight Be Well TeacherAcademy.
Be Well Teacher Academy is acommunity that is designed
specifically for educators likeyourself who want to prioritize
their self-care and prioritizetheir mental wellness.
You get access to live events.
We just had one yesterday, wehave another one coming up on
Sunday, january 26th.
We have resources to help youset boundaries, manage stress
(05:13):
and find more balance in yourlife.
And, as I said, don't forget,there's an event next week.
I have three other dynamicspeakers that are going to be
coming in to pour into you nextweek.
It is free to everyone.
That is a part of the community.
The first seven days are free.
So head over towwwbewellteachercom and sign up
(05:33):
today.
So if you're listening to thistoday and it's Sunday, if you
sign up tomorrow, the firstseven days are free.
So you can even get the firstevent for free and decide you
don't like it, and you can leavebefore you have to pay a dollar
.
So there's no risk.
So join today,wwwbewellteachercom, all right.
Tip number two is learning tosay no with grace.
Saying no can be uncomfortable,especially for teachers and
(05:55):
educators, who are often themost selfless people in their
families.
We are used to being the onesthat are constantly saying yes
to everything and everyone thatgets put on our plate.
But I want us to think that ifyou say yes to every extra
committee, if you say yes toevery after school event, if you
say yes to every request from aparent, every request from a
student, you will find yourselfcompletely drained.
So I want to talk about how youcan say no with grace.
(06:20):
First, one is acknowledging therequest that is being asked of
you, you know, and saying thankyou.
You know, principal asks youhey, edward, you want to be on
this committee, you know.
Thank you for thinking of me.
You, we always want to start byacknowledging the request and
sharing gratitude.
Second, after that, I want youto offer a clear but kind
response.
I wish I could help, but Idon't have the capacity to take
(06:42):
that on right now.
You know, I I would love tojoin that community, but I just
don't have the bandwidth.
And finally, and if it isappropriate, to whomever you are
setting or saying no, to offeran alternative, have you
considered asking so-and-so forsupport?
You know they might be a greatfit for what you are looking for
, a great fit for what you arelooking for.
(07:05):
And this is powerful becausewhen you start to say no to
things that don't align withyour priorities, it allows you
the ability and the bandwidth tosay yes to things that are more
important.
You are preserving your energyfor your students, for your
family, for you, for yourwell-being and for just other
things that are very importantto you, and remembering that
(07:29):
saying no isn't selfish.
Saying no is strategic.
It is how you protect yourenergy so that you can give the
best to what truly matters.
Every time you say yes tosomething, you are taking time
away from and saying no tosomething else.
So I want us this week to beintentional with our yeses and
(07:52):
do not feel guilty for settinglimits.
Tip number three protecting yourpersonal time.
As teachers, we are wired toput everyone else's needs ahead
of our own, so I want us toreally start looking at our
personal time as being somethingthat is sacred, and protecting
(08:13):
it is going to be essential foryour self-care and for your
mental health.
I want us to start by carvingout at least one day or evening
each week just for you.
Or evening each week just foryou no grading papers, no emails
, no thinking about lesson plans, no, nothing.
(08:36):
Use that time to do somethingthat helps you fill your cup,
whether it's spending time withloved ones, maybe it's reading a
book with that candle, a hobbypainting.
I always say this gradingpapers is not a hobby or just
relaxing.
You know, for me, I love togolf.
That is how I well, obviously Ican't cause it's winter time,
but that is how I recharge mybattery.
But then the thing is, when youset that time, if someone tries
(08:59):
to creep and encroach in on thattime, I want you to hold firm,
politely, let them know that youknow I already have plans.
Or, and some of the thing too,is people like, hey, do you want
to do this?
And you don't have plans, butyou don't want to go.
Maybe your plans are doingnothing at home and that is a
plan.
You know we get guilty thinkingwell, I don't have anything, I
(09:19):
was just going to relax on thecouch, and then you go and jump
at.
You know, at dinners withfriends and family, all these
other things are in the week.
Doing nothing is a plan and Iwant us to understand that,
because you can say no and holdfirm.
Even if those plans are just tosit on the couch and watch your
favorite Netflix show, that isstill a plan.
So don't think you have to bebusy to have plans.
(09:40):
Your personal time has to be,and must be, non-negotiable.
Rest is not a luxury foreducators.
It has to be a necessity whenyou take care of yourself as a
person, when you take care ofyourself as a mother, when you
take care of yourself as afather, everyone else benefits.
No-transcript.
(10:07):
You deserve rest, you deservejoy and you deserve to feel
whole, not just for yourstudents, but, most importantly,
you deserve to feel whole foryourself.
So a quick recap of what we did.
Number one tit.
Number one set work hours andstick to them.
Whether it's, you know, mycontract hours start at seven,
(10:29):
my work hours start at 7.
My contract says I end at 3.07.
And I work until 5 pm is whenI'm done checking emails.
But you have to set those hoursand know in your head what
works best.
And then, most importantly, yougot to stick to them.
Some of y'all are setting stuffand you're not sticking to it
and you're wondering why it'sfailing.
Number two learning to say nowith grace.
So make sure that when someoneasks you, you start by
(10:51):
acknowledging and then, afteryou acknowledge you, let them
know you can't, and, if it works, you can offer them a solution.
Hey, have you tried this person?
I think they could be good atthat.
Maybe they'd be able to helpyou.
And then, last and mostimportantly and not least,
protecting your personal time.
We have to make sure that wehave time carved out for
ourselves, and it's set up likea meeting that you just can't
miss.
And I want us to remember thatboundaries aren't about shutting
(11:14):
people out.
They are about letting theright things in.
They are how you protect yourtime, they are how you protect
your energy, they are how youprotect your mental health, so
you can show up as the bestversion of yourself.
And again, I want to thank youall for tuning in to this week's
episode of the Teachers Edpodcast.
If this resonates with you, Iwould ask you to share us with a
colleague.
(11:34):
Please like, please subscribe,and don't forget to check out Be
Well Teacher Academywwwbewellteachercom.
If you're listening right nowit is Sunday.
Wait till tomorrow.
Sign up, you get set First.
(11:59):
Seven days are free, whichmeans you will get our first big
event, a two-hour virtual event, virtual experience that will
be for free, wwwbewellteachercom.
And until next time, take careof yourselves and make sure that
you continue to protect yourpeace so you can be the best you
(12:30):
, on a day-to-day basis, takecare, thank you.
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