Rosemary's Babies: From Teen Mom to Multi-Million Dollar Legacy - Rosemary D. Oglesby-Henry - TEEM Leadership Radio

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:27):
Welcome to Team Leadership Radio and Podcasts. I'm your host,
doctor Cecilia Martin. Listen. Thank you so much to everyone
who's tuning in around the globe. And hey, if you
have a moment today, let's send prayers up to the
families in India who are still dealing with the aftermath
of the three trains that crash. The death toll is rising,

(00:49):
and my heart and thoughts go out to them, and
I'm sure yours says too. So let's remember those folks
today when you get some time again. Thank you for
joining and tuning, And I'm excited as usual because I
have a dynamic guest, Miss Rosebery d ogles B Henry,
whose works have been published in three magazines, including Forbes,

(01:14):
and four novels. She is featured in the twenty two
documentary Short and It's entitled Worth One's Salt, produced by
doctor DRAYTONA.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Maddox.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
This is a social impact film that focuses on barriers
to health, equity, and maternal health for black pregnant teens.
Miss Rosebery d Oglesby Henry started her life as a
teen parent, but used her struggle, strong faith in God
and social support to heal and help others to do

(01:47):
the same. Oglesby Henry is a bridge builder, nationally known
leadership educator, author, philanthropist, and award winning founder and CEO
of an impact organization that's committed to helping teen parents
master the concepts of self leadership so they can leave

(02:08):
a legacy two. She has received more than forty honors
and recognitions for her leadership and philanthropic work, including twenty
twenty three CINCI Magazine's Power one hundred Onees to Watch
twenty twenty three Making Black History by Cincinnati USA Regional Chamber,

(02:29):
twenty twenty two five hundred lists of most powerful and
influential leaders in Ohio, Cincinnati Business Carrier forty under forty
a Pillow Award for Nonprofit Director of the Year, and
a twenty twenty two Inspiring Innovator Award by the Cincinnati NAACP.

(02:49):
Now for over two decades, Rosemary and entrepreneur, has used
her business acumen to mentor and consult with more than
fifty businesses and nonprofits to start, expand programs and increase revenue.
She has two adult children, a love daughter and two

(03:10):
love grands Welcome Rose.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Married to teen Leadership. Thank you for joining me today.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Like I never hear
my bio rent then when I do, I'm like, did
I do all that? Yes?

Speaker 1 (03:24):
That you know, we did the snippet of the forty
so you know we was.

Speaker 2 (03:29):
Like any money more? Now it's good. I think sometimes
we get so caught up in God's work and in
the in the working process we you know, when I
actually sit there listen to somebody saying, it is like
kind of like surreal, you know, like this all being
happening gets happening and you continue your continuing to do so.

(03:51):
Thank you so much allowing me to be on today.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
Absolutely the pleasure is online. And I'm wondering how you're
feeling because my are killing me. I don't know if
it's the same in Cincinnati where you were born and raised,
But what is it like in Cincinnati, because honey, I'm
telling you the Zyrtec ministry is real.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yeah, yeah, it is. Like I was just talking to
a lady for my board and she's like, I locked
myself in the house for three days and so yes,
and we are definitely feeling it here in Cincinnati.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
Yeah. So if I sound a little nasally or you know,
like I'm breathing four hundred pounds.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
It's just it's just well, I hope, I hope it
get better. It gets better for everybody because man, like
this in Cincinnati, our weather is very bipolar here. So
it's like one day it's like super cold, and then
the next day it's like, oh, we're summer, okay, Like

(04:49):
and summer came with aggressions like okay, like we're about
to do you in.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
So yes, yes, very wonderful.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
All right, So I'm glad I'm not suffering alone. Now
I'm going to dive into your story because what you
have experienced and what you have accomplished is just phenomenal.
It goes without saying. So you were you were born
and raised in Cincinnati, and I'm sorry Cincinnati. What was

(05:20):
your relationship like with your parents growing up? Because we're
gonna we're gonna sort of move into this journey with
you of you know, becoming a teen parent and now
this just phenomenal business woman.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
Yeah, Like, so I lived in a two parent household,
brother sister and later when I was still young but
a cousin or whatever, and my my parents, my parents
were like strict disciplinarian, you know, disciplinarians. They had, you know, god, family,

(05:53):
education and respect. Love was not considered in any of this.
Like my dad used to say, I'll take respect over
love any day, and ultimately he demanded we all get
an education that like, you know, like you're a black woman.
You grew up parent, you represented the entire black race.

(06:17):
You know, when you walk out this house, you represent
not only the US, but the entire black race. And there,
yes the pressure, Like it's like what you know, my
dad was, you know, a hustler, you know everything from
creating small businesses. There was no bias in our home.

(06:40):
So whatever my brother, So, my brother knows how to
do hair, so he was able to do his door's hair,
and I knew how to cut grass. My mom Wow, yeah,
like exactly, Like so my mom she had us very
you know, much younger in her younger years. So I
was actually a fourth generation team parent. And you know
my mom is she grew up with us. I didn't

(07:03):
realize that until later on. Yes, when I started to
look at generational generational poverty, generational pregnancy, and just generational curses.
When I started to look into that, I was like, wow,
my mom was like in her twenties when she was
raising you know, twelve year olds, you know, so, but

(07:25):
we were close while at the same time that was
a different age where what happens in this house stays
in his house, and there wasn't much room for talking
about emotions, feelings and things that today we call trauma.
That wasn't an issue back then. Trauma was like she

(07:45):
just need a whooping.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
Yeah, yes, I'm telling you, I know very well what
you're talking about, because, like you said, growing up, you know,
our parents were really strict and it was like like
you said, it was you know god, it was education

(08:07):
and respecting the home and not a whole lot of warm,
fuzzy you know, let's talk about your feelings, you know
what you're going through. Right That was not you know,
the topic of conversation at dinner. And I'm glad to
hear that you too experience that, you know, this sort
of epiphany if you will, that your your parents were

(08:31):
growing up with you. Because I was raised to by
teen parents and my mom had me and my brother,
you know, she was eighteen nineteen, and they really do
grow up with you. Yes, they grew up with you
because they're learning to become young adults while raising kids.

Speaker 2 (08:50):
You know, yes, yes, yes, absolutely, and you know and
again it's not until you get older, you start to
raise your own kids that you begin to understand perhaps
some of the choices they made they made, but then
understanding too how the things that you may not have
learned from your parent. When you start to raise your kids,

(09:12):
you're like, oh, this is missing, and you realize, as
much as you want to be on the opposite or
polar end of you know, how your parents raised you,
you find yourself still doing some of those same things.

Speaker 1 (09:24):
Yep, doing it and understanding that our parents were doing
the best they could but what they had. You know,
my father was incarcerated for most of my life and
that didn't help. But at the same token, you know,
what can you do behind prison bars? And my mom,
like you said, being a teen parent, you know, who

(09:44):
didn't get the stuff we're looking for they didn't get
And like you said, as a parent, you've become a
little bit more sensitive, like, Okay, we all doing doing
the best we can. Yeah what we have, Yeah, and
you really don't realize that, Like, you know, I had
a you know, when I was younger, like a small
kid four or five.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
Me and my mom used to do things together. And
as I transition into being a teen, you start to
see things and you're like, why are you let my
daddy do this? And why are you doing that? But again,
she didn't know what. She didn't know right, and it
didn't come back until I had my own daughter. I'm
in my early twenties, you know, raising this young girl,

(10:27):
and I'm trying to do better until you know. My
daughter's like, you don't hug me, you don't know me,
you don't you know, and you're like, wait, but I'm
not doing what my mom did. How can you say
this this same thing? But you don't realize it. But
the difference is, you know, I wanted to be better.
I wanted to be this good mom. I wanted to

(10:50):
improve the communication that I had with my daughter. I
wanted to break those generational cycles. Now I know there
were generational cycles, you know, because I know the verbiage
going to college and everything. But back then, I just
really wanted to be this good mom and I wanted
to give my daughter everything I didn't have, and I
wanted her to love me, you know, and know every

(11:12):
day everything that I'm doing I'm doing it because I
love you, and you know, I know now my mom
loves me different, but she had that same thought process
and I didn't make it easy for her. And I'm
glad now that we are in such a better place
and now I am understanding it and she was able

(11:33):
to forgive me for not understanding her for such a
long time. It isn't that deep.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
So I'm glad to know that I wasn't the only
minutes growing up, because.

Speaker 2 (11:45):
I was a little minute to society, and like you said,
you grew up and you're like, okay, I need my
mother to forgive me for my nonsense. And you know,
which leads me back to this whole thing too, around education,
because you know, the whole it takes a village.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
Really were teachers and carrying individuals you know in the
community that you know, helped to support parents back in
those days. What was school like for you when you
were younger, because at some point you're still in school,
right and you find yourself pregnant.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
What was that like?

Speaker 1 (12:18):
Were you outgoing and social or were you a bit
of a wallflower when.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
You were in school? Yeah, like I was. I was
actually like I was quiet, but not like you know,
my dad. I can truly say my dad was raising
us to be leaders, not followers. That was his whole
go to you be a leader. What if one person
jump off the bridge? Will you? So we were always
these rays to be these leaders and so straight a

(12:44):
you know, straight a D student on roll wow, had
scholarships to go to college and then you know the
and there was there was trauma there, but it didn't
My life really didn't shift until the nineties and my
dad got on drugs and that was very difficult to

(13:06):
cope with because I had went from like one of
the top schools in Cincinnati to this urban school because
I wanted to be around my older sister and it
was just I didn't have anybody to talk to. I
didn't know who I could trust to talk to. You know,
you're like, I bet not called to for white kids.
I bet you know, Like, where do I go and

(13:29):
you start to act out in ways to just this
guy tells me that he loves me, He tells me
that he cares about me. I didn't know by having
sex that I was going to produce a baby, because
even then, parents didn't talk to you about sex. What
did they say, you better keep your legs closed. I
don't do it. That's that don't do it. Yeah. Yeah.

(13:55):
And even with like sex education classes, they didn't tell.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
You much like it wasn't as detailed as today as
it is now.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
And so there was no Google, there was no you know, like,
there wasn't any of those things. And so here I was.
I didn't even know that I was pregnant. Actually, my mom,
I'll never forget it. My mom knew before I did,
because back then you used to check that calendar and
all of us had like our cycle around the same time.
And my mom's like, wait a minute, something's missing. Yeah,

(14:27):
like and so you know, when when I peed on
that stick, just everything in my life changed, like the
flash flood of everything that I knew about Avondale and
where I you know, where I lived, and I didn't
want to be on welfare and I didn't want that life.
And I didn't even want kids. I used to babysit

(14:49):
a lot, you know, I was a hustle. I had
a job. I used to babysit a lot. I was like,
I don't even know if I liked kids, you know,
but I knew I didn't want to be a mother,
because I didn't know what that looked like, what a
good mother looked like. And if I did want to
be a mother, I wanted to be a wife, and
I wanted it to be set up in a certain way,
because back then they used to push the American dream

(15:11):
on us. And the American dream was what two point
five kids a husband? You know, And it's right. And
it was hard in school because unlike everybody else that
might have been having set now I'm wearing the stamp,
you know, like I can't hide it. Yeah, And I
remember they used to take you out of your classes.

(15:34):
Now I'm in like honors classes and all this stuff.
They would take you out of your classes and put
you in like parenting classes and home economics and so
it was very belitting. It was a very difficult time
in my life because my mother was angry. Even though
my sister and my brother were both teen parents, I

(15:55):
was the youngest. It was already hard on her, and
here I was making it more difficult on her. But
as in in in turn, nobody really understood how difficult
it was to walk those halls in school, knowing that
people were calling you out your name, knowing the opportunities
that you have for yourself. You no longer see those

(16:17):
because all I can see now is how how am
I gonna How am I gonna handle this?

Speaker 1 (16:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (16:23):
What am I gonna do? Oh?

Speaker 1 (16:24):
Yeah? Yeah? It was It was deep back then. And
you know, I remember my mom telling me how when
she was in high school and discovered she was pregnant.
You know, uh, you know, she's pregnant, She's going through
all of these emotions, and then it's coming towards graduation.
She graduates one weekend and it has a shotgun wedding

(16:49):
literally the next weekend, cut her prom dress.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
You know, it was there.

Speaker 1 (16:54):
There were no options, you know, there were very few options,
and like you said, the stigma attached to it because
it's like, well, you're not going to be pregnant and
not married, right right, I mean, which is a domino
effect to all types of other things. And you know
what I found today, it's sort of interesting. I feel
like the stigma has changed. I don't know if that's

(17:16):
a good thing or a bad thing in that For example,
a lot of the Latina young ladies that I work with,
some of them they want to be pregnant, like they're
they're like that's their thing, you know, to start a
family early while in high school, and it's a tremendous responsibility.
But you know, I think the family structure is a

(17:38):
little different. Even in the African American community. It seems
like the parents are getting younger and younger, and I
just I don't know, do you think that you know,
this fast track to womanhood, you know, does that help
with independence? You know, because now it just seems like
really socially acceptable, if not even cool. So I think

(18:04):
that's like pretty loaded because I think that when it
comes to teenage pregnancy and parenting, it's it's on an
individualized basis.

Speaker 2 (18:14):
I still believe that it is a stereotypic type that
the predominant number of teen parents want to be mothers.
I think that that's a negative to ethereo type that's
always been there. I do believe that there is trauma
there that starts that would pose you to want to
be a younger mother. There's trauma there. And I think

(18:37):
even within the Hispanic community that family structure has changed.
But marriage is to still a top priority in the
Hispanic community. Get a husband, start a family. In a
Black community, it is it is independence. And so even
with young girls, like you know, I've worked with young girls,

(18:57):
Black girls predominantly, and you know, you talk to them
and you're like, hey, where does the father play a role?
But they don't even see marriage. They see career, they
see education, they see all of these things, and it's
like marriage is a part of that. So where are
we missing these pieces where for the black community, it's

(19:18):
okay to do these things out of order? And like
I said previously, like I was like, I don't want
the baby without the hust you know, even when I
had gotten pregnant with my second child, it was inevitable,
like hey, we gonna be together, you know, forever, like
until we raise this boy, you know, because I didn't
want it out of order. And so I think that

(19:41):
we need to get back to that, definitely within the
black community, because we see so many single led families
out here and we're saying negatively, it's okay to be
this way, it's okay to have the baby without the man,
and it is really breaking down the dynamic of the
black family. It is breaking down the black boy that

(20:05):
we see more of them going into the prison system.
It's just so much. But I truly believe that all
of this is the trauma as a prerequisite, because you're
not gonna tell me at fourteen and fifteen the only
thing this girl wants to do instead of playing with
dolls is to play with babies.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
Hmm, yeah, that's an expensive toy. Yeah, I hear exactly
what you're saying. I think it is worth, like you said,
unpacking and having, you know, an in depth conversation because
some young ladies have come to me and say and

(20:45):
have said, I want to have a baby, I mean fifteen,
sixteen years old. Now thinking about what you have stated
in terms of trauma, at the end of the day,
they want something to love. Like it's like from some
way they're feeling a void. Yes, and and and that

(21:05):
is the means to it. They want something to love
and to love them back.

Speaker 2 (21:12):
And yeah. And I think that if that is and
if that is the play, the question always becomes the
why and what is leading you to make these decisions?
And more than that, if we look at prevention, which
Rosemary's Baby's Company is definitely about the.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
Present, I think that we have lost you for a second.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
Oh I'm sorry, we're Rosemary. Yeah, they go, we're Rosemary's
Baby's Company definitely focuses on prevention. For a team to
come at me and you know, and there are teams
in our program that have children and they're like miss Rosemary,
I always wanted my babies to be two years apart.
I think that it is up to each of us
not to just explain, oh, you shouldn't have another baby

(21:59):
because too young, but actually to explain the financial burdens
that come with that, to understo help these teens understand
the cliff effect of black women and women in general,
how we make less money than anybody, you know, than
males throughout our careers, to help them to understand that

(22:22):
a man can walk out the door and it is
your responsibility to raise that child. And so I think
that instead of us looking at, you know, pregnancy prevention
in one way, when these girls and boys some come
to you and say, hey, I want to I want
a kid one day, it is it is our responsibility

(22:42):
to do it in a holistic way to help them
understand the full picture of what it looks like to
be a young parent, and the barrier and the burden
that it is to do that, and what it actually
takes to overcome that and to have a successful life

(23:03):
in any capacity.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
Sure, sure and preventative, like you said, having those conversations
and really the work that Rosemary's Baby's Company does, Let's
talk a little bit more about that, about the programs
and services that you offer.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
Yeah, so Rosemary's Babies Company, like you said previously, is
a teen parent and family support organization. We are at
the primary location in Cincinnati, Ohio. I used to say
the only, but now I say primary, So we're to
go to So after almost five years, I think it's

(23:43):
it's it's good. It's easy to say or good to
say that when you hear Team Parent Rosemary's Baby. So
that was our goal. Like, we provide everything from Confidante Care,
which is emergency transportation, emergency car seeds. If a teen
parent is going through something emotionally, they can text us

(24:06):
twenty four hours a day or contacts us through our
website or through any social media platform. We also do
our Leadership and Legacy program, which where we're focusing on
three generations. How do we break the cycles of teenage
pregnancy and poverty. But more than that, how do we

(24:27):
ensure that their children don't become a teen parent and
how do we ensure that their parent or a family
member is supporting both their child or grandchild and grandchild
to ensure that they become successful citizens. And so we
do weekly educational classes and educational series. Then we have
levied a Leadership Lion, which is our education based mascot

(24:52):
and it connects with our team Parent Resources website where
you know, I don't know about you, but when my
daughter was little, I paid for a spider Man to
come to her birthday party. And back then, like one
hundred and twenty dollars was a lot nail for those
characters to come. Oh my god, they're like three or
four hundred dollars some of them for one hour. And so,

(25:15):
but we understand that the media makes it almost like
a negative if you can't get these things. It's a
pressure that they put on us to compete with everybody else.
And most of the time, teen parents want these things
for their babies. And so we created this educational mascot
that can go to teen parents' birthday parties. It is

(25:40):
very low cost. I think the minimal costs of like
twenty five dollars, oh wow, which just covers gas for
LEVI to show up. Take a couple of pictures. But
more than that, we wanted to make sure that we
were educating babies at the earliest stages of development possible
in the areas of STEAM, which we look at STEAM
as science, technology, engineering, education, and entrepreneur arts and mathematics.

(26:05):
So we look in three different areas. And because again,
as you know, science and technology are the way of
the world, and the blacks and minorities fall behind in
this area, and so we wanted to make sure that
teens understood and get that jump start on helping their
babies to understand STEAM in that area, and more than that,

(26:28):
help them to under understand that they are responsible for
their children's education. They are their first teachers. Finally, we
just we are in the process of opening up our
new facility, Yay.

Speaker 1 (26:42):
Halloway House.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
Halloway House. Yes, So after two years we started this
in twenty twenty, we have finally acquired a building and
we are under renovation set to open our new facility
in November. This new facility will all of our current programming,
but more we will be able to provide transitional housing

(27:06):
for parenting teams in Cincinnati. It will be the only
project like this or initiative like this of its kind.
It's my brain child, and I'm super excited about what
is to come of this because while we're we're working
to house such a small number, we're also working on

(27:29):
advocacy efforts and policy efforts to be able to change
laws and regulations that keep these teen parents from being
able to move forward. So I'm super excited about everything
happening with the Rosemary's Baby's Company. And I couldn't do
it without my great team.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
Oh wow, So the doors of Halloween House are set
to open in November of this year.

Speaker 2 (27:53):
Yes, we are, we are well are on our way
under renovation, and it is something else. I am not
a but I have learned so much about the development
process renovation. But more than that, I've also learned about
how community sees certain populations. And you see people willing

(28:20):
to give to the baby and the burn unit, or
willing to give to the mother that is homeless, that
is thirty five with ten kids. But when we see
these parenting teams, you know power it is a very
There are a lot of people that still judge this
population and that is why we're the primary organization doing

(28:45):
this work because the stigma is so heavy on this
population and we don't give them a pass at all. Okay,
which she.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
Let me play devil's advocate because I do understand the
stigma that you're talking about. Let me just play devil's advocate.
I think, well, what I've heard is that many still
have sort of a perception of this population because they
feel like pregnancy is today is preventable in the twenty

(29:17):
first century, right, So what are your thoughts on that?
For you know, maybe not necessarily the younger teens, but
for the you know, the ones who are pushing to
you know, in high school and pushing closer towards eighteen
nineteen years old. They say that pregnancy today is one

(29:38):
hundred preventable, right, and that teens know that in various ways,
Like you said, they have so much access to information
through Google and all these different social platforms, and you know,
they dig deep. What are your thoughts on that?

Speaker 2 (29:56):
So my thoughts are my thoughts are very strong that
and more than what is it, more than fifty to
sixty percent of United States pregnancies are unplanned, and that's
with every demographic. So again, I don't think that any
young person you know who lays down whether they use

(30:19):
a condom, whether they use birth control. These things can fail,
you know, the only, the ultimate, only ultimate primary way
for you not to have a maybe as abstinence. And
if we're going to tell a team that is eighteen
or nineteen not to have sex until marriage, then we

(30:39):
need to have that same scrutiny on the mother who
is thirty five that has eight kids by seven different fathers.
Why are we so lenient with her and forgiving? But
we are not forgiving of a child who we don't
know any better, you know what mean, who didn't know
any better? So my empathy because at least if we're

(31:02):
educating that child, we can stop her from being that
thirty five year old woman who continuously makes the same mistake,
you know, and it's not necessarily a mistake, it's a choice.
And like I said, some of these things fail. And
of course we don't want a team or anybody to have,

(31:23):
you know, premital sex. However it does happen, and when
that happens, yes, there are other options besides giving birth
to that child. But those two other options are they reasonable?
And how much trauma will impact that teen mother or

(31:46):
that woman that has the ten kids once they get
into this predicament, and so I think that you know,
people can point the finger and say, oh, she's so young,
but we also have to look in other in other
countries and identify that teenage pregnancy was not always frowned upon.

(32:08):
It's only frowned upon in the United States because we
don't have community to support these teams. But in other
places they are married at younger ages, they do have
family to support them. So why are we not doing
that in the United States? Why are we shaming women?
And to be completely honest, we will see an increase

(32:31):
in teenage pregnancy as well as unplanned pregnancy as the
government continues to attack women's rights and women's health.

Speaker 1 (32:40):
Well, that goes to my next question, because I wanted
to I just wanted to get an idea because you
talk about Rosemary's Baby's Company and its advocacy even in policy.
What is your flagship policy?

Speaker 2 (32:55):
What is one.

Speaker 1 (32:58):
Particular police of legislation or context their contextual theorized framework
that you're trying to push right now in terms of
policy and supporting young teen moms.

Speaker 2 (33:13):
So in each state, in each state, they have their
own individual policies and so therefore I can only speak
for Ohio right now. In Ohio, there is little to
no legislation on the on the books or on the
records at all for teenage parents. When at the height
of teenage pregnancy, which was in the nineties when I

(33:34):
got pregnant, of course, they were so focused on prevention
that there was no legislation put on the on the
on the on the rules for Okay, what happens if
this team actually gets pregnant, and so teen parents are
caught in the gray area when they get pregnant because

(33:56):
they are a parent and have the legal right to
make decisions for their child. However, they themselves are a
child and their parent as the legal right to make
decisions for them.

Speaker 1 (34:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:12):
So for Rosemary's Baby's Company, for those teen parents that
are the age of sixteen and in Ohio, at the
age of sixteen you can get married. At the age
of sixteen, you can get married. That is the only
legal ramification for emancipation in Ohio. So for Rosemary's Baby's Company,

(34:33):
our goal for those that are sixteen and over sixteen,
of course eighteen is considered adult, but sixteen and seventeen
years old. If we can expand the rights for teenage parents.
That would be pretty dope because there's no other way
I can think about it dope, And what I say

(34:54):
expand those rights. What I mean is teen parents are
having to drop team mothers. I'll speak from team mothers perspective.
Team mothers are having to drop out of school because
they can't get daycare. Right. But in order to get
daycare through a hire department of Job and Family Services,
your parent has to complete that paperwork because miners cannot

(35:16):
do what sign contracts.

Speaker 1 (35:18):
That's right, they cannot.

Speaker 2 (35:20):
So if the only way for me to get daycare
is I got to ask my mom, and my mom
don't want what nobody in my business right, who's going
to watch this child? So if we do not start
to do preventive measures to teach these children to transition
to adults prior to age eighteen, we will continue to

(35:44):
see the poverty numbers go up because we are failing
them and teaching them to apply for jobs, applied for
benefits through their employer, teaching them about the importance of
getting life insurance through employers. So because we feel that
their children and they don't understand, but from the point

(36:05):
that they make the adult choice to parents and that
is the first adult decision that you make, because it's
my body, my choice. From the point that they make
the decision to parent, we as a society, we as parents,
we as leaders need to help them transition and learn
to be productive citizens, adults as well as good parents

(36:30):
so that we don't also start to see a trend
in these children's children going into social services.

Speaker 1 (36:38):
Listen, you have a heavy lift system. I mean, I
hear a loud and clearly what you're saying, and I
can visualize the domino effect that you're talking about. And
even the adult decision to get married at sixteen is
pretty deep because what do you when you think back

(37:00):
at sixteen, like what do you know about yourself or
about life to be permanently hitched to somebody. So that's
a very adult decision as well. So it's an important
to marry and like you said, the choice to have
a child, and yeah, there has to be some type
of ambassador along the way to help them make these

(37:22):
decisions regarding the life of another person, you know, I mean, yeah,
I mean, but even in marriage, Like my pr person
is a Kevin Samuels fan, right, and he's always talking
about like women need to get married, but nobody teaches
women to be wives.

Speaker 2 (37:43):
And you know, I got married. I was twenty seven,
and it's like, even though my mom was married and
I mimicked a lot of those things, nobody sat me
down in a in a this is how you're a
good wife class, you know. And the same thing goes
for parents. You can read a handbook and say, hey,
these are some of the things that you need to know.
But who has actually taken a time to teach these

(38:07):
kids to not whoop your baby with an extension court
because your mama whoop you with an extension court, you know,
I mean, like or how to communicate without cussing and
yelling and you know, and even to protect your child.
And so again, we do need to consider this population, especially,

(38:30):
like I said, as they begin to attack women's rights
and women's health, we will see an increase in teenage pregnancy.
And what I don't want to see is an increase
in teenage pregnancy and verse and infant mortality due to
reckless behavior of a child who did not know any better,

(38:52):
you know, because she is mimicking what she has known
or what she has seen, you know. And so it's
a lot you know you're right, it is I having left.
I liked that I wrote that down like he left.
You absolutely right. My back kills me some days. But
I think that to have the experience being a teen mother,

(39:15):
to be a fourth generation, to overcome it all without
being dependent on welfare benefits, without being dependent on the system,
to have a voice in this fight from my lived experience,
and and ensuring that none of my kids or my
nieces and nephews were teen parents. I think that who

(39:38):
better to not only raise their voice for the voices
of those that can't say this so eloquently, but more
than that, inspire others like yourself who was the product
of two teen parents, and for those who were teen
mothers who have done much better in life than me,

(39:59):
to speak up, teak out, and really start to talk
about their experience, what it took for them to overcome,
what it took for them to heal, and what it's
going to take for those that come into this situation,
and it will not be everyone, but for those that
do end up in this situation, what it takes to

(40:20):
continue to move forward and be successful despite the barrier.

Speaker 1 (40:26):
M Yeah, yeah, you said it. Yeah. I always like
to think that education is the best place to start.
And I know that, like you said, most of most
of these kids, I mean, they have to be in school,
right or that's some type of violation. Is that correct?

Speaker 2 (40:48):
Are they? Yeah? All team pers supposed to be in school,
they minors, but they're not teaching them. I mean, they're
not teaching them that in play. I mean, you know,
when we look at the educational system, and we can
blame it on the education system, but ultimately I've always
been a parent where it starts at home. Oh yeah,
all of this stuff starts at home.

Speaker 1 (41:09):
Now I want to I want to pause you just
for a second, because my thought pattern not and I
know it seems like a logical thought pattern that I
was thinking that that they should learn this at home.
But what I meant was what I was going to say,
was that it starts with perhaps education in the sense
of the policy part of it. There's a gentleman here
who worked very hard to get children of incarcerated parents

(41:33):
on the UH on the at riskless for the Texas
Education Agency. Traditionally, the at risk list consists of those
who may be foster kids, those who may have a disability,
or I call a special ability. You know, you know,
you have those categories of students, those who are low income,

(41:56):
who are considered on the at riskless, and and we
know that children with incarcerated parents are also suffering in
just unimaginable ways, and they're, like you said, there's no
book that says what to do with a child or
what to do when your parents incarcerated. So I think
maybe if there's a way, and I'm child that I'm

(42:17):
just throwing out my little two cents, but maybe if
there's a way to at least get those students identified
as at risk in the state of Ohio, then that
opens up a whole nother level of systemic accessibility because
you know that foster kids and those who are highly mobile,
whether they're homeless or military. You know that those who

(42:39):
are who have a disability, they have now a different
type of access to systemic support right and rules that
are adjusted or amended for their unique situation. So consider
that as well. I don't know how many education partners
you have on you're board, but that may be a

(43:01):
good place to start too, because that acknowledges them as
a unique category, because I can't imagine, like you said,
if I was pregnant at sixteen and having to go
try to get childcare, and then now leaving my mama
who doesn't kick me out because.

Speaker 2 (43:16):
I'm you know, it's just and then I have money
to pay for it myself, and it's just it's just
a whole horrible, horrible effect. So yes, and I think, like,
you know, and and and again, my daughter is twenty six.
So to find that there is there was, there's still
no resources that there that this entire conversation once funding

(43:41):
went out the window and the number of teenage parents
went from like one million to it's now I want
to say, like three hundred thousand teams babies worn to
teens annually, which is still a huge number. Yeah, that
the conversation was like, oh, we did it, so we're
not even going to figure out anything. Ye. But again,

(44:02):
even in Ohio, Kentucky, and Indiana, there's more than twelve
thousand babies born to teams yearly. That's twelve thousand a
year in five years. Look at that number and if
those teams are having and that's just first pregnancies, we're
not calculating secondary pregnancies, which more than fifty percent of
that number become pregnant again prior to adult age, which

(44:25):
is really what they're counting is twenty or twenty one.
So again, this is this is a huge problem. It
is a That's why I kind of stayed in my lane.
You know, people will kind of tact DMB like Rosemary
want you to sit on the board for you know,
opio crisis, and I'm like, no, no, no, teen parents team.

(44:46):
Now teams were using the opioids, I'd be opioid or all. Rosemary,
we need you for gun violence, like, no, teams ain't
out here shooting up baby daddies. No, Like I stay
in my lange, which is teen parents and really focusing
and educating myself on breaking cycles, connecting with national partners

(45:07):
and people across the US, which there are less than
I want to say, forty organizations nationally that support this demographic,
and we all kind of do it in a different way.
But you know, I think that there's always more to
do and more improvements. But like everything else, it starts
at home. And that's why I'm like, I got to

(45:28):
start it at home. At home is in Ohio, Cincinnati,
and really trying to get Cincinnati, because when I started,
people were like teenage pregnancy. Oh my god, she's supporting
girls getting pregnant as teens.

Speaker 1 (45:41):
No, I'm not, you know, right, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:44):
Like no, yeah, We're trying to change the outcomes. And
the thing is, the babies are here and if we don't,
but you can do, right, yeah, like these the babies
are already here and it would be very simple to say, well,
they could give them for a option. But when we
look at the team the babies that are in the
foster care system, how many of those black babies are

(46:07):
getting adopted? How much abuse is going on in that system?
And it is not a it is not a negative
thing that I'm saying towards the foster care system. Is facts,
and a lot of those kids age out of the
foster care system. But yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (46:25):
I mean you're you're talking to truth, and I'm glad
you are in your lane and honey driver Mustang in
it all.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
Poor you know, the help, the help is so needed.

Speaker 1 (46:35):
And you know, we've talked a lot about teen moms
and that is usually the primary focus. But speaking of
baby daddies, does Rosemary's Baby's Company or the Holloway House
and in any way addresses the mail in the situation
who always seems to, you know, have fewer responsibilities than

(46:58):
the team mom or the woman period. So you know,
how are you guys addressing that or including them or
is that part of your.

Speaker 2 (47:07):
Focus exactly the same. That's why we say teen parents okay,
because it is both mom and dad. Actually, when I
first started, I made a shirt that said I am
not a baby daddy, I'm a father, And I wanted
to change the negative stigma that comes with titles. And

(47:30):
you've got to understand that, like a title can be
very demeaning. Like when I had my daughter, I used
to go off on my child's father and I would say,
and I started calling him her biological father, your biological father,
not my baby daddy, because that's very demeaning. He was
there the best way that he could because he was
a child too, you know. But I'm like, names matter,

(47:52):
and when we respond and we answer to these titles,
they can be very demeaning. I am not your baby mama,
you know what I mean. No, I am your child's mother.
I am the mother of your child. I'm a parenting
you know, partner, But I am not a baby mama.
I think that there is such a negative stereotype that

(48:14):
comes with that title, and especially baby daddy, because when
we hear that, what do we think about, Oh, he
don't pay child support. He's not there, he's you know.
And so even as women, we need to and you know,
to be mindful of the things that we say, because
we even can unintentionally put this negative stereotype of a

(48:38):
young child's father right in a child's head by the
terms that we use, indeed, both intentionally and unintentionally. Can
you imagine being on the FI girl, my baby daddy
doing this, you know what I mean, not my And
it's so simple to say my daughter's father, because what
does father represent?

Speaker 1 (48:58):
You know?

Speaker 2 (48:58):
And so within Rosemary's Baby Company, we address all of that.
You know, how to communicate with your child's father. We
address child support. You know, we're very much in favor
of child support, and we explain to the child's father,
you should get yourself on child support because some of
these young some of these women can be very ruthless.

(49:22):
But child support puts in, you know, restrictions, They put
it puts in, you know, a standard so that you're
paying a set amount. It puts the in visitation, you know,
and it holds accountability on both sides. Always tell younger girls,
because none of them these days want to fail for
child support. What I explained to them is what happens

(49:46):
if your child's father passes away and you have not
established paternity. Mm hmmm, So child support established his paternity,
so we go in debt. So that again, and then
you know again, if we start to build up these
negative stereotypes, a lot of black men and men in

(50:09):
general end up in jail because they don't want to
pay the child support. They're scared of the system. They
feel like it doesn't work for them. So we need
to start to break these cycles, especially for our younger fathers.
And Rosemary's Babies Company does that. We work in partnership
with other agencies to ensure that work is being done
and we are inclusive of both the mother and the father.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
Yeah, and that's very good to know, because I think
that you know one you have like you know, your
hands full in the most wonderful way though, And it's
good to know that the door is open for the
teen father as well, who often needs support and guidance

(50:52):
and some ambassador to help him figure out life. And
like you said, even if there was no love interests
or you know, this was you know, a teenage incident
that that you've created a lifelong effect for at least
you can learn to co parent. Like you said along

(51:13):
the way, that's just life that you've created and now
you're you're also responsible for as well.

Speaker 2 (51:20):
Yeah, yeah, it's a it's a lot. I think that
it's you know, a lot of what I learned and
who I am I had to fumble through. And one
of the beautiful things about fumbling through it is I
don't think that there's too many situations I don't understand.
I was able to create this organization that's a no

(51:42):
judgment zone. I wrote. I wrote my book about my
not necessarily my story, but how the effects of wanting
to be this good mother or good parent and so
just you know, I'm just blessed to be it that
if you would have told me when I was sixteen,
crying in that bathroom looking at that purple on that stick,

(52:05):
that my life would be here now and that the
entire journey would lead me to be this person that
in order to heal meant changing the lives and helping others,
I'd probably laughed you out to see like you're crazy.
This is awful. You know, I've lost my scholarships what

(52:28):
but now to know that God had a plan and
maybe something that wasn't gonna happen. But when we you know,
the only God knows what was in that book. And
from the choice that I made, every choice after that
and every choice now will be to ensure that if
I can change the life of one team and they
don't have to walk through what I went through, That's

(52:50):
what I'm gonna do. And I'm gonna do it every
day until I closed my eyes and I'm standing right
and you know, standing right there next to God saying
thank you, you know, for this journy.

Speaker 1 (53:00):
And so that's right, I hear you. So despite all
of your experiences, you know what would you say? It's
probably the key ingredient or the most important advice you
would give to other teen moms.

Speaker 2 (53:16):
Never allow your barriers to break. You use them for
your breakthrough.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
Oh I love that ye.

Speaker 2 (53:25):
Never allow your barriers to break, you use them for
your breakthrough. You know, we just updated all of our
shirts to say, barriers don't break me. You can overcome anything.
It's about mindset. You talk a lot about that It's
about making the choice to want to move forward by

(53:45):
any means, any means, any means, use your baby as
a crutch, use the community, talk to somebody. There are people,
you know, people can contact me. Teens can, Oh, you
can contact me. You know they I'm sure they can
contact you. You they can, they can listen, they can
pray theirs. But you have to make the choice every day,

(54:06):
every day to continue to meet move forward. And even
when it's those bad days, and I've had several this week,
the very next morning there is light there. And every
day I'll waken up saying, okay, do I want to
keep moving today so that you don't get stuck there
and the and the stuck there is the trauma mm hmm.

(54:27):
But you can move past it.

Speaker 1 (54:30):
That is absolutely wonderful. And and that's it, you know,
don't let the barriers break, you push use them to
push through. And I'm just so excited about the work
you're doing in Ohio, and we definitely want to follow
up once the doors are open to the homages. That

(54:51):
is I mean, that's so very exciting.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
It is it's exciting and scary. I saw the virtual.

Speaker 1 (54:58):
Yeah, I saw the virtual plan online I'm just like,
oh my god, that looks so amazing.

Speaker 2 (55:05):
Looks at two or three levels. Yes, yes, it's three levels,
seven thousand square feet. And I designed every nook and
cranny of it. Because what I didn't understand the I
am money conscious. That is a whole other conversation, and
everybody's like, she cheap. I'm money conscious. So when we

(55:25):
were like talking to designers and stuff, They're like, oh,
it's gonna be seventy thousand, I was like, does that
include like furniture or something. So right, Like, I had
a really great team that kind of listen, walked through
the property with me, listen to my vision and what
I wanted, and they created this this beautiful site. Right now,

(55:46):
we're in design and face and so I am staying
on Pinterest and looking at other people's houses to design
this this facility. But it is exciting, it is It
is something that I hope that once we get the
doors open, I believe that the entire property should lift
up the community and let them know that this is

(56:10):
not something when you see the team to be like
oh that poor baby, No, just offer her love, especially
those younger young mothers, Like when they come in my office.
It's days that I'm feeling bad and I'll go hug
a mom and she would say to me, like, miss Rosemary,
I ain't had a hug all week, you know, like wow,

(56:33):
And as black women, we know what that feel like,
you know, and you know, and like I would always
tell them and I would say, this ain't for you,
It's for me, just so they don't feel a certain
type of way, but they know like she loves me,
and I love each and every one of them differently,
and I just I just want them all to be okay,

(56:53):
and okay is whatever that looks like healthy, having happy
days and seeing a future for themselves that other people
have counted them out of. And I just want them
to know, don't count yourself out, no matter who counts
you out.

Speaker 1 (57:11):
That's right, And I think they are in very good
hands with you. Can you please tell us one the
name of your book and then you how people can
get in touch with you or give to Rosemary's Baby's
Company or to the Holloway House.

Speaker 2 (57:27):
Yeah. So the name of my book is The Rose
Who Blossom through the Concrete Consequence Versus Choice. And you
can find that book on Amazon or you can order
it through our website, which is Rosemary's Babies dot co.
If you want to give to Rosemary's Baby's company and
you can give from anywhere, or if you just want

(57:48):
to send me a message and be like, I really
think this is dope, Send a prayer, a message, a
donated item. You can do that through the website Rosemarysbabies
dot co. If you want to call us, or if
someone you know, if they're not in Ohio anywhere else
needs assistance or just support. Five one three eight one
three team that's five one three eight one three eight

(58:09):
three three.

Speaker 1 (58:10):
Six wonderful listen, thank you so much. I mean, this
is this is such good information and I hope people
really take advantage of the services. We're wishing you all
the best for the opening this fall. I know it's
very exciting. We'll be stalking the website for pictures and
all of that good stuff. So again, thank you for

(58:33):
having us. And once you are up and running, we'll
have to bring you back and see how things are going.

Speaker 2 (58:37):
How about that? Absolutely? Absolutely, thank you so much. This
is one of my most interesting conversations and I loved
every minute of it, so thank you so did I.
It's been a pleasure.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
Thank you all for listening and tuning in from wherever
you are and what country you're in, and it's always
thank you for being a team player.

Speaker 2 (59:00):
To B

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Rosemary's Babies: From Teen Mom to Multi-Million Dollar Legacy - Rosemary D. Oglesby-Henry

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Rosemary's Babies: From Teen Mom to Multi-Million Dollar Legacy - Rosemary D. Oglesby-Henry