March 30, 2021 • 29 mins
Liz volunteers as part of her college improv class to be a headless cadaver in a haunted house, only to learn that she's not cut out for it … and that one of the college boys would like to get to know her better. Young college love in a haunted house? What could go wrong?
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jeremy (00:00):
Hello, this podcast contains interesting and
humorous stories.
These stories are real and toldby real life people, the names
in these stories have beenchanged to protect the innocent
and the not so innocent.
You have been warned.
Liz (00:27):
Welcome to tell that one story, an anecdotal podcast to
brighten your day.
I'm your co-host Liz
Jeremy (00:33):
and I'm Jeremy.
Liz (00:34):
Hey Jeremy.
How's it going?
Jeremy (00:35):
Good.
Good.
I got to tell you, did you everplay the Zelda link to the past
game back in the day?
Liz (00:41):
Yes.
Oh, in, in a day, long time agothat doesn't at all date me.
If I can answer that questionwithout being outed for that.
Yes, definitely.
One point when I was.
Either young or old, new oryoung?
Yes.
Sorry.
Continue.
What, what do you like about it?
You can't, you have to tell meif you're a cop.
Are you a cop?
Jeremy (01:03):
Well, I just I've been playing it lately.
So the, the long story is Iended up buying a different
game, hoping to try to get thisgame, but it wasn't on the
online marketplace.
And then I was browsing thatmarketplace randomly.
And then I'm like, I think thisis part of a bundled, super
Nintendo package and it shows upand I am literally, I was like,
Oh my gosh, I got to show mykids how to play this game.
(01:24):
This is legendary.
This game.
Liz (01:25):
It came in a bundle.
It was a little bundle of joyfor you.
This bundle here and in, it wasalso Zelda and somebody else.
Okay.
Jeremy (01:34):
The Super Nintendo pack.
Right?
So you get super Mario world.
You get about 70 games, SuperMetroid.
Liz (01:39):
70?
Jeremy (01:40):
Yeah.
There's like a lot.
I don't know if that's the rightnumber
Liz (01:42):
It's your childhood and they're like, this is what we
have laying around.
Please buy it from us.
Jeremy (01:45):
Yeah.
Grab bag.
And I don't know about you guys,but I have so many fond
memories.
I have not been this excitedabout anything in decades.
Like giddy excited.
I wake up and I am
Liz (01:57):
your birth of your children.
Jeremy (01:59):
Definitely excited.
No, that's not giddy.
That's a little nerve-racking.
Liz (02:03):
Just even the second one.
Okay.
No, that's fair.
That's fair.
Please.
Jeremy (02:07):
The second one That story's for another time.
So we get this and I have to, Ihave to be honest every day for
the last week I have.
Gone to sleep thinking aboutthis game, and now I've played
this game.
I know everything about thisgame.
I beat this game when I was akid or when I was younger, I
should say, and to go back andreplay, it is just so happy.
(02:31):
There is something so simpleabout that game,
Liz (02:35):
the connection that you guys have.
Okay.
I just, I just, um, I know Ikeep interrupting you and I
apologize, but it is sobeautiful the way that you.
You know that saying, they'relike get someone who looks at
you the way that Jeremy looks atZelda, shadows of the past,
because the way you'redescribing, go to bed, thinking
about it.
And then I get up excited to be.
(02:55):
And then we spend this time.
It reminds me of years ago whenwe were together and now we're
back and it's just a simple,effortless connection.
And it's just like, it's true.
Love.
This is what it is supposed tofeel like.
That's a beautiful story.
Jeremy (03:06):
I feel true love about the legend of Zelda, a link to
the past,
Liz (03:11):
Alright, I not judge, continue.
Is it the same, like poopoographics or is it updated?
It's
Jeremy (03:18):
the same like 16 bit graphics graphics.
Oh my gosh.
I mean, to be honest, when thegraphics first showed up my kid
like, Oh my gosh, this is soWhat is this?
They literally were like, whatis this?
Why is this look like this?
And I said, well, this is whatwe used to have to deal with.
I mean, it was even worse.
There was even eight bit beforethis.
And so, but then within 10minutes they're watching it.
(03:39):
They kind of like, you know, thegraphics aren't that bad.
Like I totally get it.
And so part it's the graphicsand part of it is how kind of
simple the gameplay is for thegame.
It's not.
You know, the new Zelda gamesit's expansive.
Like you just, you could spendso long doing it and you get
into a dungeon and a dungeon asat least a two hour commitment
on my part.
Liz (03:58):
Whoa.
Jeremy (04:00):
On the new ones.
Right.
And so it's a relationship likeyou really have to commit to
work through it together.
You do.
To play this one where you canthrow it on.
Liz (04:08):
I can play a dungeon now and maybe 30 minutes, 45
minutes, you know, and bam,you're an adult.
You're grown up.
And you've spent a significantpercentage of your life on this
game.
So now is your moment.
Jeremy (04:24):
None of it, none of it is regrettable.
So, and it's just the concepts,you know, they're in their
weapons.
I forgot about, I was like, Ohmy gosh, there's the cane of
Smyrna.
I forgot about that.
And it does this.
And there's the cloak that makesyou invisible.
I literally remember writingvideo games based on this one.
Like I was like, Oh, I'm gonnamake my own Zelda
Liz (04:40):
map.
I didn't know you wanted to makegood video games when you were a
kid.
Oh, wow.
I'm realizing now I want to knowwhat these stories are.
And I might have a platform forwhich you can talk about them,
but
Jeremy (04:53):
games I wanted to
Liz (04:54):
create.
Yeah, I can, we can design thistogether.
We could crowdsource it and thenfind some developer and launch
it and it will be Jeremy's fightwith, to save...
Belda and his zincs to the past,you know, shadow or something,
(05:15):
the legend of Hilda, The Legendof Hilda: Blinks awakening.
Exactly.
You see really clearly noncopyright trademark free to you.
Jeremy (05:29):
I mean, what do you think?
I mean, not to cross podcasts,but like I've always had a
vision for Atheria too.
So, Oh, I wouldn't even need,have a storyline.
Like there could be one there
Liz (05:41):
I'm excited for when you're the next JK Rowling and we can
enjoy our adventures together.
Jeremy (05:46):
That would be so awesome.
Oh my gosh.
But however, we need to talkabout our podcast and this one,
remember how we're actuallydoing a podcast here about our
funny stories,
Liz (05:58):
right?
Yes.
Who's turn is it?
Jeremy (05:59):
I think it's your turn.
Liz (06:01):
It is my turn.
That's right.
This is a podcast where we telldumb and embarrassing stories of
our past my is my turn to tell astory.
And so Jeremy buckle up.
Hold on.
to your butts, cause we're goingback in time.
I am 19.
I am 19 years.
(06:21):
Don't matter.
19.
This was five minutes ago.
It's fine.
Did I have a pager?
No.
Did my phone,
Jeremy (06:33):
The fact that you even said, did I have one?
You know what?
It is, dates you and me for thatmatter.
Liz (06:41):
So it is the past.
I am 19.
It is October.
It is around Halloween.
I am in community college and Iam told by my improv professor,
cause I took improv.
I was so terrified.
I hated being in front ofpeople.
Jeremy (06:59):
So this was like, A formal improv class.
Liz (07:02):
Yeah.
That I got college credits for.
And I was so scared to be in theclass, but it was great.
The teacher for that class wasalso ran one of the local improv
groups here in Seattle.
So, oops.
I name dropped a city.
It's Seattle spoilers.
And so.
He said, Hey, there's somepeople in this improv group,
(07:22):
who've put together a hauntedhouse for charity would,.
if any, they're looking forvolunteers to help run the
haunted house.
So he wanted you
Jeremy (07:28):
to help out with the haunted house.
Liz (07:30):
He was just saying it begrudgingly, the youngsters in
his group have put together thishaunted house and he promised
them he'd mentioned it.
Jeremy (07:37):
Was he like, curmudgeoning?
Liz (07:38):
Well.
I mean, he, he was experiencedenough to know this was a bad
idea, but he's like, whatever,I'm going to tell.
These kids.
And I was like, Ooh, I can meetpeople.
You know,
Jeremy (07:48):
Wait, hold on, is the understanding that you're going
to be part of this haunted houseimproving like a scary monster.
Like you're going to be a, amummy or are you going to be a
vampire?
That's going to attack somebody.
Liz (07:57):
Oh, that would be so much cooler, but no, it was more like
they need bodies, like physicalpeople to manage the line.
Is anyone interested?
Yeah.
So it wasn't even like, as partof the class, God, I like your
story better.
You want to tell my story?
Jeremy (08:13):
I thought that was obvious.
That was an obvious connection.
Liz (08:16):
Yeah.
And obvious connection.
I think I just, they need peopleto take tickets.
Yeah.
And I mean, at that time I hadworked a little bit and like
high school theater and, andthought about maybe like events
might be a cool path.
So this was before I was trulythe list that I am today.
So I was more just I didn't havea lot going on so I was like,
I'm going to volunteer.
So I go down to this and,
Jeremy (08:35):
you must have looked like the manual labor type.
Liz (08:37):
Yeah.
That's me.
Yeah.
I showed up, well, I mean, Ithink I showed up in all blacks,
right.
Because theater or whatever,but, Oh my goodness.
From an events perspective,Jeremy.
It became clear that a bunch ofkids, maybe college age got
together and were like, whatwould really be fun is if we put
(08:59):
on a haunted house and therewere people next to them who was
like, Hey, actually we'veproduced a lot of successful
haunted houses over the years,you know, done stuff for charity
and it's been great.
And they were like, cool.
So if you do it for charity, youcan get people to work for free.
Jeremy (09:13):
Oh my gosh.
These college kids.
Liz (09:15):
Yes.
Yeah.
But they're like, okay, see ya.
So they'll spend weeks buildingthis haunted house inside this,
I think it's a warehouse andjust.
Put an enormous amount of detailinto it.
It, you know, with walls andthere's like this thing that
jumps out and I'm not gettinginto detail for a reason,
(09:35):
because then they're like, okay,we're done.
It's great.
Let's open it.
And they're like, Oh no, no, no.
The Fire Marshal has to come inand they're like the who the
what?
So that guy comes in and he'slike,"Oh no, this is a....
death! Shut it down! Shut itdown!
Jeremy (09:46):
There's rules and regulations.
We have to do.
Liz (09:48):
Exactly! Yeah, no.
Yeah, exactly what happened.
So then the fire marshal showsup.
And he's like, no, this is theworst.
Jeremy (09:56):
Oh my gosh.
Liz (09:57):
There's no sprinklers.
There's no exit signs,
Jeremy (09:59):
It's a literal hazard.
Like people could die in there.
Liz (10:02):
Like it's a firehouse, it's not a haunted house, but not
like the good kind of firehousewhere they put out the fires.
But the firehouse where theymake the fires.
Jeremy (10:08):
That creates the fires.
People could have...
Liz (10:10):
we could advertise it.
That's how scary it is.
Want to lose custody of yourchildren?
Jeremy (10:20):
Are you tired of kids?
Are you done with theresponsibilities of parenting?
Liz (10:27):
This all happened before I even got there by the time I
showed up to the project waswhen they were running around
like mad, trying to reset upwhat they could in a parking
garage with actually thinkingabout through the safety.
Jeremy (10:39):
They had done all of this planning in this warehouse
and all of a sudden the firedepartments like or the fire
marshal's like, Nope, you'redone.
You can't do this.
Your breaking all these codes.
And so they literally likepicked up and moved shop to a
parking
Liz (10:53):
garage.
Well, yeah.
And I don't know why they chosethe parking garage.
It may be the parking garage.
Had levels and it already hadbuilt-in exit signs and things
like that.
So they in sprinkler systems.
Oh wow.
I wasn't there where they weresourcing the next location.
I did not know this part of thestory until like day two when I
was like, that makes sense.
Was
Jeremy (11:11):
this at least an abandoned parking garage?
Like a haunted one?
Liz (11:16):
No, no, no.
Well, it was a rundown.
Jeremy (11:19):
Had somebody
Liz (11:19):
died there?
Yeah, it was underneath thebrewery that sponsored, or next
door to the brewery thatsponsored the event.
Okay.
This may be been where I feltlike incredibly competent at my
job as an event manager, which Iwould later become a super event
manager.
At this point.
I was just a newb being like,that's an interesting style.
Maybe we do people usually likelook into rules and regulations
(11:40):
before they build an entirebuilding?
I don't really know.
I'm new!
Jeremy (11:44):
What do I know?
What I, what do I know?
I'm just, I'm just a volunteerfrom the community college.
Liz (11:49):
I can't even legally drink.
Who knows?
And so, um, there were cute boysthere because it was college
boys and people setting up.
And so I think they were excitedto be like, cool kids.
Oh, Hey, Hey girl, uh, want tocome back to my haunted house?
So there was some cute boys.
I remember there and they setthis place up.
(12:10):
You could tell, it was like slapdash.
They had all these rooms.
Where they, they were justdumping stuff left and right.
One day somebody showed up witha severed pigs head an actual
severed pigs,
Jeremy (12:20):
like a pig that had been alived, alived, alive.
Liz (12:23):
Literal giant, alived, formerly alived P.I.G.
R.I.P.
P.I.G.
Like it was and its head.
I think he got it from a butcherand he was like, this is so
cool.
It's the college boys guy.
Like'Oh my gosh! this is socool'.
So they put it in a, a sink withice in like the corner of a
(12:43):
thing.
And I remember thinking thisfeels like a health hazard, but
you know, it was there for likethree weeks or two weeks until
the thing closed.
Oh, my gosh.
So it was kind of like whatweird things have I found?
Oh, here's a rusty hook.
Let's hang it in the background.
It was like, anytime they cameacross something weird or gross,
it like made it into the mix.
Yeah.
Got thrown in somewhere.
(13:03):
I know it was, it was awful.
So, and you know, again, theseguys are like,'Hey, hey girl'
Jeremy (13:09):
Like my pig's head over here?
Liz (13:11):
Like my pig's head?
Jeremy (13:11):
I can show you more where that came from.
Liz (13:15):
Yeah, exactly.
So there was some weird stuff,but the one cool place and I
ended up getting to work.
I don't even remember what itwas, but it was, um, like what
they called it, but it was adark room.
So you go to these levels ofthis parking garage and then on
one level, like the whole levelis just.
Dark, you walk in and yourealize you're in a parking
garage.
(13:35):
It's like four parking stallswide and like 25 long.
And it's got curtains around theedges and you walk in and you
just see that there's thiscurtain off area and there's
nothing else in there.
And then the light goes out.
And so it's totally dark.
Jeremy (13:50):
You're not in the haunted house, acting improv
using your improv skills?
Liz (13:55):
No, but I get to, I got upgraded
Jeremy (13:57):
really?
How did, wait, how is there astory there?
How did you get upgraded?
Who did you have to...get toknow?
Liz (14:02):
Kill?
Jeremy (14:02):
Or kill.
Liz (14:03):
Uh, we needed a ghost.
So I was like, I volunteer himand I thank you.
Now.
I think I was just, I mean, I,wasn't going to tell this part
of the story, but I was justreally bad at all the other
jobs.
I was supposed to play a severedhead and do that.
And I was like ahead with amustache on, because I'm
supposed to be like this axmurderer dude is being.
(14:27):
Talked to by one of the headsthat he cut off and he's going
insane or something.
And so the heads start talkingto him.
So it was like fake heads.
And then there's like a realhead like, wow.
And so it's just the banter backand forth between them and I'm
laying down, but also proppingup my neck.
I was so embarrassed.
I was, I was the quiet,blushing, severed head.
That was just like bright red.
Just repeat what he was saying,because I figured like, well,
(14:49):
that's something I'm proving I'malive and it would drive me
crazy.
And like a few minutes later,they're like, Oh Liz we could
use you over here.
Success! Working my way up thechain.
Jeremy (14:59):
Need to put a sheet over you.
And don't say a word.
Liz (15:02):
Well, it's funny.
You should say that.
Um, it's in this room.
Your experience, if you walk insomeone like walks you in and
says, okay, the exit will openup when it is ready across the
room.
So there's like a, I don't know,like a 30 second experience?
And the lights go off.
And then a strobe light effectshappens where it's just really
quick and there's down, it'sdark and quick.
And then what, so the effect isthe strobe light comes up and
(15:23):
you're like just for a secondand you see the people you're
with, and then you realize thatthere is a figure.
In all black.
Jeremy (15:29):
Coming after you?
Liz (15:30):
Yeah, a figure that's coming after you.
Jeremy (15:32):
Oh my, I hate this.
Liz (15:33):
Yeah, it's great.
Figure in all black and a blackmask with no face and black
gloves and black boots, he'sthere and then he's gone and
then the light comes back andhe's right in your face.
Jeremy (15:43):
I would not like that.
I would NOT.
Liz (15:44):
Right here in your face.
Jeremy (15:45):
I just gotta be real honest right now.
I would be throwing punches.
I'm not even kidding you.
Liz (15:50):
Yes, you would, but they would shut it down.
If someone tried to take a punchbecause that's the warning.
Now here's a question.
Knowing this experience.
How would you like to be the guyin the mask though?
Jeremy (15:59):
I, I would not like to be either.
I would not.
I mean, were you the guy in themask, you were the person in
black?
Liz (16:07):
So then I got to be the person in black.
I started out as a ghost becauselike it, and there's like this
heartbeat that like itaccelerates and then the
flashing gets faster.
And out come these ghosts.
So I started out as a ghost.
I started out with one of likethe backup dancers.
Jeremy (16:20):
You got upgraded!
Liz (16:22):
With a, like a white lycra material that then I can like
push my hands in and out of.
So it looks like these fingersare coming out of this fluid
thing and it'd pick up the lightand then we'd go, our eyes were
able to adjust really easily tothe darkness because we got used
to it.
And that's how we were able tomove around.
And, and the other people werereally disoriented also.
One of my favorite things Ilearned is that if somebody has
(16:43):
like a glow in the dark watch orlike a little light on them or
something, that person is aboutto get attacked.
Cause we're all like,
Jeremy (16:50):
yes.
Cause you could find that lightand it's moths to a flame.
Liz (16:56):
Yeah.
I know.
It's it's pounce.
So then that one person'sprobably like why, why is
everyone attacking me and no oneelse.
Yeah.
No, it was great.
Yeah.
So I did that.
And then somebody took a breakand was like, Hey, do you want
to try being the man in black orperson in black?
And I was like, uh, well, how doI do that?
Is it scary?
They were like, you just try tolike be far away and then move
(17:18):
quickly in the darkness and besomewhere else and move quickly
and watch out for people wantingto punch you.
Jeremy (17:22):
So they literally told you that.
Liz (17:24):
Yeah, well, yeah.
This is like haunted houserules, no touchy on either side
just generally.
And if you try to punch someone,it's considered assault and we
shut down a haunted house andyou could get arrested depending
on how much of a jerk you are.
So, but they say like, like yousaid, some people have.
A natural instinct that kicksin.
And there was once we shut itdown, but it was a guy who
probably had, had a lot todrink, who it was a reaction.
(17:47):
So we like ignored him and thenhe tried to do it again.
And it was super slow to thepoint where we're like, okay,
sorry, everyone else.
That's been in line for twohours, everybody out this guy's
a jerk.
I know, so, but fortunately, noton my shift.
So I got to like sneak up onpeople and it was the greatest
and I was like, this is my dreamcome true.
Improv skills.
I know.
(18:07):
I improv fear in your facesyeah, well it was like a, it's
like a Halloween mask that isblack fabric.
So I can see through it, not.
Super well, but I can seethrough it,
Jeremy (18:19):
but can you convey emotion?
Liz (18:21):
Just with my arms"AAAR! I'm emotionally coming to get you
and AAAR! I'm emotionallyrunning away" and"AAAR!
Emotionally surprise!" I thinkone time, the most like
adventurous I got was I didthis.
This is hard to do visualthrough this audio medium, but
I, the light would come on and Iwould be crouching.
And it would, I would justslowly move up into their, like
(18:42):
from below their vision intotheir vision,
Jeremy (18:45):
you were really owning this part.
You're like, I can do more withthis.
Liz (18:48):
So that is when I discovered that my dream job is.
Serial killer or a very specifichaunted house actor.
And so I feel like perhaps inthis version of my life, I'm
pursuing a different path.
You know, not one of those badserial killers, the one that
just terrorizes people and thenlets them go.
Jeremy (19:07):
What about like the sneaker upper?
Like your, your professionshould be the sneaky thief.
Liz (19:11):
The sneaker, the sneaker upper?
Jeremy (19:13):
I just couldn't think of a better..
Liz (19:15):
I should put that on my business card.
"Liz, the sneaker upper.
For all your sneaker upperneeds."
Jeremy (19:20):
I couldn't think of a better job.
Sneaker upper.
Liz (19:26):
Oh man, I could do that.
So that was a very importantmoment in my life.
How this story kind of windsdown is,
Jeremy (19:35):
wait, does the instructor come back to the
improv old man?
You know?
Liz (19:39):
No, that would be a great story.
No, what happens is.
The night that I am mass person,when the room is done, like that
30 seconds is done.
You pull back our curtain withthe exit door.
And so then you just quietlypoint here's the exit inspired
by the, the ghost of Christmasfuture, where he's just like a
finger pointing in differentdirections.
And it was quiet.
(20:00):
So it's very inspired by that.
So I'm just standing there inblack of just like black pants
and a black turtleneck.
But I, uh, So this little kid'slike, daddy, is that the man in
black?
And he's like, yeah, but it's alady in black.
And he says, how do you know?
Um, because, uh, well son andthen I, I wanted to shout at
(20:23):
that point because it is soawkward at this moment.
I'm trying to be intimidating.
And if they could see behind mymask, it was bright red.
And just like, feel like I gotto like slouch a little.
So next time I'll remember towear something baggy.
So they won't know.
So serial killer who runs aroundscreaming,"BOOBS!"
Jeremy (20:44):
Boobs! I'm a woman!
Liz (20:48):
Aaa! So the haunted house was sponsored by lovers package.
Jeremy (20:52):
Are you kidding me?
Liz (20:52):
Local romantic, no, romantic store.
And so when you exit there's alittle gift shop.
So that scary room was like thelast room.
Jeremy (21:01):
Did you have to be of a certain age to attend this?
Uh,
Liz (21:06):
yeah.
No, you don't.
You don't have to be.
I mean, I think that the way thegift shop was marketed, I say
this, but again, remember peoplewho forgot fire Marshal exists,
who knew what rules, evenexisted.
Jeremy (21:17):
This was a fundraiser, a haunted house in a parking
garage, sponsored by loverspackage.
Liz (21:24):
Yeah.
Are you trying to like, letpeople track it down,
Jeremy (21:30):
taking notes, I'm taking notes.
Liz (21:32):
Um, and so you walk out of the scary room and you're into
part of the parking garage,right.
Where it's like, Oh, this is thegift shop.
And they're selling littlethings.
And then you go to the exit,which is.
I think there's an elevatorsomewhere there must've been,
but it is kinda like your oldschool parking garage exit.
Where do you go through like anearly cement door into a cement
(21:53):
staircase down in each layer.
So you you're on the fifth floorand you go down and when you
pass the fourth floor, someoneradios, Hey, people just went
down to the fourth floor and thefourth floor door opens behind
you and a man and a brightorange outfit and like crazy
hair and a chainsaw chainsaw, nochain.
(22:13):
So it's not dangerous.
It was like, Whoa.
And it sounds amazing.
Cause it's echoing through thewhole thing just starts chasing
Woah! and you're like, well, sowe would like, okay,"aw gift
shop".
And we hear"AAAAA!", they'rerunning out.
And then one group, it was afamily.
It was a, it look, I mean makingjudgements, but it looked like a
mom, a son and a dad.
(22:34):
They are going down their stairsand the chainsaw guy comes
running out and the dad pushesthe mom and kid out of the way
to go running to safety.
To which like the chainsaw guyjust kinda like lowers his
chainsaw and like looks at themom.
And they're like, did that.
That just happened.
Oh dude, that's messed up.
(22:56):
That
Jeremy (22:56):
is so messed up.
Oh, even the chainsaw guy'slike,
Liz (23:00):
Oh, Oh, that's your relationships.
Even scarier than me.
This is so sad.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
So I remember that happening andus all like judging that dude
that
Jeremy (23:14):
he's like shamed out of the haunted house.
Liz (23:17):
Um, and so then when, as we had our like celebration party,
Um, there was one of the cuteboys was like, Hey, Liz, let's
find a place to make out orsomething.
And I'll take you someplacespecial that only for you.
And there was no
Jeremy (23:32):
future with this gentleman.
Liz (23:35):
Well, I mean it, I thought he was cute.
And then he's like, let me takeyou.
I know where we can like bealone.
So he took me back to thehaunted house and this room
where there was a bench, but itwas the room with the fricking
hogs head, like looking at me.
Jeremy (23:47):
I was literally going to say, tell me he didn't take you
to the hog's head, took you tothe hog head.
This guy,
Liz (23:54):
he took me to the hog's head! That's how I know there
was no future with him at thatmoment.
The hog is looking at me going,like, don't do it.
So I was like, I gotta goanywhere, but here.
Jeremy (24:07):
So you did not.
Liz (24:10):
I started to, I was like, maybe, I mean, am I being over?
And then I'm like kissing andI'm looking to the side, like
right behind him is the eye ofthe pig looking at me going,
Liz, you deserve better.
And I was like, I know Mr.
Pig.
I know.
Mr.
Pig.
So I took Mr.
Pig's advice
Jeremy (24:29):
and you left.
Liz (24:31):
And I left.
And then!
Jeremy (24:33):
There's more?
Liz (24:34):
So.
Okay.
So my professor that we willcall Jacques Cousteau and this
guy that we call the toad.
Oh.
But then I'm making out withthe, you know what,
Jeremy (24:45):
he's a toad.
Liz (24:45):
It's fine.
You're right.
He is.
And I left that because I gotsome great advice from the pig.
Jeremy (24:52):
The Almighty Pig!
Liz (24:54):
Almighty Pig!
Jeremy (24:55):
He is not a Prince do not do this.
He is not a secret prince.
Liz (24:58):
I do not kiss him and he will turn into a secret princess
chris?
He will turn into a secretChristmas Prince maybe?
No?
A Halloween Prince?
Nope.
Oh, okay.
Just a toad.
So, cause the toad was from theimprov group that Jacques
Cousteau leads.
So at some point during theweek, the toad told my
(25:19):
professor, I guess that I madehim sad because on Monday my
professors like, so I heard thatyou broke Toad's heart.
Why are they so
Jeremy (25:29):
close?
That seems awkward.
Liz (25:32):
I know, and it really, I broke his heart because also did
I though?
Um, cause if that's his bestopportunity to see, like, this
is what I have to offer theworld,
Jeremy (25:41):
maybe he was checking you out for a while.
Maybe through the whole thing.
He was just trying to get thecourage.
Liz (25:46):
The courage to invite me to the pighead room?! Severed pig
head.
Jeremy (25:54):
I hope he someday listens to this.
And he's like, Oh my gosh.
Liz (25:58):
That's so funny.
I was just thinking, I hope henever listens to.
I mean, he must look back onthat and be like, yeah, no, that
was probably not a good moveyounger me.
Cause I have some embarrassingstories by this podcast.
Yeah, exactly.
In fact, Created a podcast,which reminds me that I need to
look at the stories and makesure some of them are about me
(26:19):
being embarrassed and not aboutme being by people who make poor
choices about pig heads.
Totally.
That's the story.
And what is our moral for thisstory?
Do you think
Jeremy (26:29):
the moral of the story is, do not try to have moments
that are meaningful in a roomwith a pig head,
Liz (26:38):
listen to the pig head.
Jeremy (26:39):
Listen to the pig head.
Liz (26:41):
We all have our inner severed pigs head.
That's trying to tell you whatto do.
Jeremy (26:44):
That talk to us?
Liz (26:46):
That listen.
Don't you?
I mean, me, me, I mean, if youdon't, then me either.
Jeremy (26:52):
I have like, maybe a tiger head.
Liz (26:54):
Yeah.
But I don't want it to besevered.
You know what?
Just, no, just don't.
Jeremy (27:01):
The moral is don't mix business with pleasure.
Okay.
That's all business, right?
Don't mix business withpleasure.
Liz (27:07):
That's good.
That's good.
Um, I was volunteering.
It is good to get out and meetpeople, but I really feel like
if there is a severed pig's headin your life.
That's trying to be a red flag.
I mean, the only thing that wasmissing was the pig to like
cough up a giant red flag out ofits mouth and be like,"run away
Liz! Run away!"
Jeremy (27:27):
Can I be more obvious?
Liz (27:30):
That just take the red flags and run?
I mean, I mean, I guess youcould take them, but like look
at them and listen to them andacknowledge the pig head.
Jeremy (27:38):
Awesome story.
Great story this week.
Liz (27:40):
And that was good cause that now you and the world knows
that story and I will foreverhave to continue to deny it ever
happened.
Thanks for listening.
And I hope you had as much funlistening as we've had talking
about pigs heads and other funthings.
I am Liz I'm Jeremy, get outthere and go make some stories.
Jeremy (28:02):
Make some stories!
Liz (28:04):
Goodbye!
Jeremy (28:05):
Goodbye.
Liz (28:27):
And, uh, I've been Liz.
I've been Jeremy.
Yes.
And, uh, I've been, well, I was,I realized, I need to say my
name at the end and I forgotthat we haven't, and so then I
was like, I am, I am LIZ.
I am.
I am THE Liz.
Jeremy (28:46):
Let's do take two.
Let's do take two.
Liz (28:49):
Oh, great.
Hey, this'll be great singermaterial.
If you get bored,
Hello, this podcast contains interesting and
humorous stories.
These stories are real and toldby real life people, the names
in these stories have beenchanged to protect the innocent
and the not so innocent.
You have been warned.
Liz (00:27):
Welcome to tell that one story, an anecdotal podcast to
brighten your day.
I'm your co-host Liz
Jeremy (00:33):
and I'm Jeremy.
Liz (00:34):
Hey Jeremy.
How's it going?
Jeremy (00:35):
Good.
Good.
I got to tell you, did you everplay the Zelda link to the past
game back in the day?
Liz (00:41):
Yes.
Oh, in, in a day, long time agothat doesn't at all date me.
If I can answer that questionwithout being outed for that.
Yes, definitely.
One point when I was.
Either young or old, new oryoung?
Yes.
Sorry.
Continue.
What, what do you like about it?
You can't, you have to tell meif you're a cop.
Are you a cop?
Jeremy (01:03):
Well, I just I've been playing it lately.
So the, the long story is Iended up buying a different
game, hoping to try to get thisgame, but it wasn't on the
online marketplace.
And then I was browsing thatmarketplace randomly.
And then I'm like, I think thisis part of a bundled, super
Nintendo package and it shows upand I am literally, I was like,
Oh my gosh, I got to show mykids how to play this game.
(01:24):
This is legendary.
This game.
Liz (01:25):
It came in a bundle.
It was a little bundle of joyfor you.
This bundle here and in, it wasalso Zelda and somebody else.
Okay.
Jeremy (01:34):
The Super Nintendo pack.
Right?
So you get super Mario world.
You get about 70 games, SuperMetroid.
Liz (01:39):
70?
Jeremy (01:40):
Yeah.
There's like a lot.
I don't know if that's the rightnumber
Liz (01:42):
It's your childhood and they're like, this is what we
have laying around.
Please buy it from us.
Jeremy (01:45):
Yeah.
Grab bag.
And I don't know about you guys,but I have so many fond
memories.
I have not been this excitedabout anything in decades.
Like giddy excited.
I wake up and I am
Liz (01:57):
your birth of your children.
Jeremy (01:59):
Definitely excited.
No, that's not giddy.
That's a little nerve-racking.
Liz (02:03):
Just even the second one.
Okay.
No, that's fair.
That's fair.
Please.
Jeremy (02:07):
The second one That story's for another time.
So we get this and I have to, Ihave to be honest every day for
the last week I have.
Gone to sleep thinking aboutthis game, and now I've played
this game.
I know everything about thisgame.
I beat this game when I was akid or when I was younger, I
should say, and to go back andreplay, it is just so happy.
(02:31):
There is something so simpleabout that game,
Liz (02:35):
the connection that you guys have.
Okay.
I just, I just, um, I know Ikeep interrupting you and I
apologize, but it is sobeautiful the way that you.
You know that saying, they'relike get someone who looks at
you the way that Jeremy looks atZelda, shadows of the past,
because the way you'redescribing, go to bed, thinking
about it.
And then I get up excited to be.
(02:55):
And then we spend this time.
It reminds me of years ago whenwe were together and now we're
back and it's just a simple,effortless connection.
And it's just like, it's true.
Love.
This is what it is supposed tofeel like.
That's a beautiful story.
Jeremy (03:06):
I feel true love about the legend of Zelda, a link to
the past,
Liz (03:11):
Alright, I not judge, continue.
Is it the same, like poopoographics or is it updated?
It's
Jeremy (03:18):
the same like 16 bit graphics graphics.
Oh my gosh.
I mean, to be honest, when thegraphics first showed up my kid
like, Oh my gosh, this is soWhat is this?
They literally were like, whatis this?
Why is this look like this?
And I said, well, this is whatwe used to have to deal with.
I mean, it was even worse.
There was even eight bit beforethis.
And so, but then within 10minutes they're watching it.
(03:39):
They kind of like, you know, thegraphics aren't that bad.
Like I totally get it.
And so part it's the graphicsand part of it is how kind of
simple the gameplay is for thegame.
It's not.
You know, the new Zelda gamesit's expansive.
Like you just, you could spendso long doing it and you get
into a dungeon and a dungeon asat least a two hour commitment
on my part.
Liz (03:58):
Whoa.
Jeremy (04:00):
On the new ones.
Right.
And so it's a relationship likeyou really have to commit to
work through it together.
You do.
To play this one where you canthrow it on.
Liz (04:08):
I can play a dungeon now and maybe 30 minutes, 45
minutes, you know, and bam,you're an adult.
You're grown up.
And you've spent a significantpercentage of your life on this
game.
So now is your moment.
Jeremy (04:24):
None of it, none of it is regrettable.
So, and it's just the concepts,you know, they're in their
weapons.
I forgot about, I was like, Ohmy gosh, there's the cane of
Smyrna.
I forgot about that.
And it does this.
And there's the cloak that makesyou invisible.
I literally remember writingvideo games based on this one.
Like I was like, Oh, I'm gonnamake my own Zelda
Liz (04:40):
map.
I didn't know you wanted to makegood video games when you were a
kid.
Oh, wow.
I'm realizing now I want to knowwhat these stories are.
And I might have a platform forwhich you can talk about them,
but
Jeremy (04:53):
games I wanted to
Liz (04:54):
create.
Yeah, I can, we can design thistogether.
We could crowdsource it and thenfind some developer and launch
it and it will be Jeremy's fightwith, to save...
Belda and his zincs to the past,you know, shadow or something,
(05:15):
the legend of Hilda, The Legendof Hilda: Blinks awakening.
Exactly.
You see really clearly noncopyright trademark free to you.
Jeremy (05:29):
I mean, what do you think?
I mean, not to cross podcasts,but like I've always had a
vision for Atheria too.
So, Oh, I wouldn't even need,have a storyline.
Like there could be one there
Liz (05:41):
I'm excited for when you're the next JK Rowling and we can
enjoy our adventures together.
Jeremy (05:46):
That would be so awesome.
Oh my gosh.
But however, we need to talkabout our podcast and this one,
remember how we're actuallydoing a podcast here about our
funny stories,
Liz (05:58):
right?
Yes.
Who's turn is it?
Jeremy (05:59):
I think it's your turn.
Liz (06:01):
It is my turn.
That's right.
This is a podcast where we telldumb and embarrassing stories of
our past my is my turn to tell astory.
And so Jeremy buckle up.
Hold on.
to your butts, cause we're goingback in time.
I am 19.
I am 19 years.
(06:21):
Don't matter.
19.
This was five minutes ago.
It's fine.
Did I have a pager?
No.
Did my phone,
Jeremy (06:33):
The fact that you even said, did I have one?
You know what?
It is, dates you and me for thatmatter.
Liz (06:41):
So it is the past.
I am 19.
It is October.
It is around Halloween.
I am in community college and Iam told by my improv professor,
cause I took improv.
I was so terrified.
I hated being in front ofpeople.
Jeremy (06:59):
So this was like, A formal improv class.
Liz (07:02):
Yeah.
That I got college credits for.
And I was so scared to be in theclass, but it was great.
The teacher for that class wasalso ran one of the local improv
groups here in Seattle.
So, oops.
I name dropped a city.
It's Seattle spoilers.
And so.
He said, Hey, there's somepeople in this improv group,
(07:22):
who've put together a hauntedhouse for charity would,.
if any, they're looking forvolunteers to help run the
haunted house.
So he wanted you
Jeremy (07:28):
to help out with the haunted house.
Liz (07:30):
He was just saying it begrudgingly, the youngsters in
his group have put together thishaunted house and he promised
them he'd mentioned it.
Jeremy (07:37):
Was he like, curmudgeoning?
Liz (07:38):
Well.
I mean, he, he was experiencedenough to know this was a bad
idea, but he's like, whatever,I'm going to tell.
These kids.
And I was like, Ooh, I can meetpeople.
You know,
Jeremy (07:48):
Wait, hold on, is the understanding that you're going
to be part of this haunted houseimproving like a scary monster.
Like you're going to be a, amummy or are you going to be a
vampire?
That's going to attack somebody.
Liz (07:57):
Oh, that would be so much cooler, but no, it was more like
they need bodies, like physicalpeople to manage the line.
Is anyone interested?
Yeah.
So it wasn't even like, as partof the class, God, I like your
story better.
You want to tell my story?
Jeremy (08:13):
I thought that was obvious.
That was an obvious connection.
Liz (08:16):
Yeah.
And obvious connection.
I think I just, they need peopleto take tickets.
Yeah.
And I mean, at that time I hadworked a little bit and like
high school theater and, andthought about maybe like events
might be a cool path.
So this was before I was trulythe list that I am today.
So I was more just I didn't havea lot going on so I was like,
I'm going to volunteer.
So I go down to this and,
Jeremy (08:35):
you must have looked like the manual labor type.
Liz (08:37):
Yeah.
That's me.
Yeah.
I showed up, well, I mean, Ithink I showed up in all blacks,
right.
Because theater or whatever,but, Oh my goodness.
From an events perspective,Jeremy.
It became clear that a bunch ofkids, maybe college age got
together and were like, whatwould really be fun is if we put
(08:59):
on a haunted house and therewere people next to them who was
like, Hey, actually we'veproduced a lot of successful
haunted houses over the years,you know, done stuff for charity
and it's been great.
And they were like, cool.
So if you do it for charity, youcan get people to work for free.
Jeremy (09:13):
Oh my gosh.
These college kids.
Liz (09:15):
Yes.
Yeah.
But they're like, okay, see ya.
So they'll spend weeks buildingthis haunted house inside this,
I think it's a warehouse andjust.
Put an enormous amount of detailinto it.
It, you know, with walls andthere's like this thing that
jumps out and I'm not gettinginto detail for a reason,
(09:35):
because then they're like, okay,we're done.
It's great.
Let's open it.
And they're like, Oh no, no, no.
The Fire Marshal has to come inand they're like the who the
what?
So that guy comes in and he'slike,"Oh no, this is a....
death! Shut it down! Shut itdown!
Jeremy (09:46):
There's rules and regulations.
We have to do.
Liz (09:48):
Exactly! Yeah, no.
Yeah, exactly what happened.
So then the fire marshal showsup.
And he's like, no, this is theworst.
Jeremy (09:56):
Oh my gosh.
Liz (09:57):
There's no sprinklers.
There's no exit signs,
Jeremy (09:59):
It's a literal hazard.
Like people could die in there.
Liz (10:02):
Like it's a firehouse, it's not a haunted house, but not
like the good kind of firehousewhere they put out the fires.
But the firehouse where theymake the fires.
Jeremy (10:08):
That creates the fires.
People could have...
Liz (10:10):
we could advertise it.
That's how scary it is.
Want to lose custody of yourchildren?
Jeremy (10:20):
Are you tired of kids?
Are you done with theresponsibilities of parenting?
Liz (10:27):
This all happened before I even got there by the time I
showed up to the project waswhen they were running around
like mad, trying to reset upwhat they could in a parking
garage with actually thinkingabout through the safety.
Jeremy (10:39):
They had done all of this planning in this warehouse
and all of a sudden the firedepartments like or the fire
marshal's like, Nope, you'redone.
You can't do this.
Your breaking all these codes.
And so they literally likepicked up and moved shop to a
parking
Liz (10:53):
garage.
Well, yeah.
And I don't know why they chosethe parking garage.
It may be the parking garage.
Had levels and it already hadbuilt-in exit signs and things
like that.
So they in sprinkler systems.
Oh wow.
I wasn't there where they weresourcing the next location.
I did not know this part of thestory until like day two when I
was like, that makes sense.
Was
Jeremy (11:11):
this at least an abandoned parking garage?
Like a haunted one?
Liz (11:16):
No, no, no.
Well, it was a rundown.
Jeremy (11:19):
Had somebody
Liz (11:19):
died there?
Yeah, it was underneath thebrewery that sponsored, or next
door to the brewery thatsponsored the event.
Okay.
This may be been where I feltlike incredibly competent at my
job as an event manager, which Iwould later become a super event
manager.
At this point.
I was just a newb being like,that's an interesting style.
Maybe we do people usually likelook into rules and regulations
(11:40):
before they build an entirebuilding?
I don't really know.
I'm new!
Jeremy (11:44):
What do I know?
What I, what do I know?
I'm just, I'm just a volunteerfrom the community college.
Liz (11:49):
I can't even legally drink.
Who knows?
And so, um, there were cute boysthere because it was college
boys and people setting up.
And so I think they were excitedto be like, cool kids.
Oh, Hey, Hey girl, uh, want tocome back to my haunted house?
So there was some cute boys.
I remember there and they setthis place up.
(12:10):
You could tell, it was like slapdash.
They had all these rooms.
Where they, they were justdumping stuff left and right.
One day somebody showed up witha severed pigs head an actual
severed pigs,
Jeremy (12:20):
like a pig that had been alived, alived, alive.
Liz (12:23):
Literal giant, alived, formerly alived P.I.G.
R.I.P.
P.I.G.
Like it was and its head.
I think he got it from a butcherand he was like, this is so
cool.
It's the college boys guy.
Like'Oh my gosh! this is socool'.
So they put it in a, a sink withice in like the corner of a
(12:43):
thing.
And I remember thinking thisfeels like a health hazard, but
you know, it was there for likethree weeks or two weeks until
the thing closed.
Oh, my gosh.
So it was kind of like whatweird things have I found?
Oh, here's a rusty hook.
Let's hang it in the background.
It was like, anytime they cameacross something weird or gross,
it like made it into the mix.
Yeah.
Got thrown in somewhere.
(13:03):
I know it was, it was awful.
So, and you know, again, theseguys are like,'Hey, hey girl'
Jeremy (13:09):
Like my pig's head over here?
Liz (13:11):
Like my pig's head?
Jeremy (13:11):
I can show you more where that came from.
Liz (13:15):
Yeah, exactly.
So there was some weird stuff,but the one cool place and I
ended up getting to work.
I don't even remember what itwas, but it was, um, like what
they called it, but it was adark room.
So you go to these levels ofthis parking garage and then on
one level, like the whole levelis just.
Dark, you walk in and yourealize you're in a parking
garage.
(13:35):
It's like four parking stallswide and like 25 long.
And it's got curtains around theedges and you walk in and you
just see that there's thiscurtain off area and there's
nothing else in there.
And then the light goes out.
And so it's totally dark.
Jeremy (13:50):
You're not in the haunted house, acting improv
using your improv skills?
Liz (13:55):
No, but I get to, I got upgraded
Jeremy (13:57):
really?
How did, wait, how is there astory there?
How did you get upgraded?
Who did you have to...get toknow?
Liz (14:02):
Kill?
Jeremy (14:02):
Or kill.
Liz (14:03):
Uh, we needed a ghost.
So I was like, I volunteer himand I thank you.
Now.
I think I was just, I mean, I,wasn't going to tell this part
of the story, but I was justreally bad at all the other
jobs.
I was supposed to play a severedhead and do that.
And I was like ahead with amustache on, because I'm
supposed to be like this axmurderer dude is being.
(14:27):
Talked to by one of the headsthat he cut off and he's going
insane or something.
And so the heads start talkingto him.
So it was like fake heads.
And then there's like a realhead like, wow.
And so it's just the banter backand forth between them and I'm
laying down, but also proppingup my neck.
I was so embarrassed.
I was, I was the quiet,blushing, severed head.
That was just like bright red.
Just repeat what he was saying,because I figured like, well,
(14:49):
that's something I'm proving I'malive and it would drive me
crazy.
And like a few minutes later,they're like, Oh Liz we could
use you over here.
Success! Working my way up thechain.
Jeremy (14:59):
Need to put a sheet over you.
And don't say a word.
Liz (15:02):
Well, it's funny.
You should say that.
Um, it's in this room.
Your experience, if you walk insomeone like walks you in and
says, okay, the exit will openup when it is ready across the
room.
So there's like a, I don't know,like a 30 second experience?
And the lights go off.
And then a strobe light effectshappens where it's just really
quick and there's down, it'sdark and quick.
And then what, so the effect isthe strobe light comes up and
(15:23):
you're like just for a secondand you see the people you're
with, and then you realize thatthere is a figure.
In all black.
Jeremy (15:29):
Coming after you?
Liz (15:30):
Yeah, a figure that's coming after you.
Jeremy (15:32):
Oh my, I hate this.
Liz (15:33):
Yeah, it's great.
Figure in all black and a blackmask with no face and black
gloves and black boots, he'sthere and then he's gone and
then the light comes back andhe's right in your face.
Jeremy (15:43):
I would not like that.
I would NOT.
Liz (15:44):
Right here in your face.
Jeremy (15:45):
I just gotta be real honest right now.
I would be throwing punches.
I'm not even kidding you.
Liz (15:50):
Yes, you would, but they would shut it down.
If someone tried to take a punchbecause that's the warning.
Now here's a question.
Knowing this experience.
How would you like to be the guyin the mask though?
Jeremy (15:59):
I, I would not like to be either.
I would not.
I mean, were you the guy in themask, you were the person in
black?
Liz (16:07):
So then I got to be the person in black.
I started out as a ghost becauselike it, and there's like this
heartbeat that like itaccelerates and then the
flashing gets faster.
And out come these ghosts.
So I started out as a ghost.
I started out with one of likethe backup dancers.
Jeremy (16:20):
You got upgraded!
Liz (16:22):
With a, like a white lycra material that then I can like
push my hands in and out of.
So it looks like these fingersare coming out of this fluid
thing and it'd pick up the lightand then we'd go, our eyes were
able to adjust really easily tothe darkness because we got used
to it.
And that's how we were able tomove around.
And, and the other people werereally disoriented also.
One of my favorite things Ilearned is that if somebody has
(16:43):
like a glow in the dark watch orlike a little light on them or
something, that person is aboutto get attacked.
Cause we're all like,
Jeremy (16:50):
yes.
Cause you could find that lightand it's moths to a flame.
Liz (16:56):
Yeah.
I know.
It's it's pounce.
So then that one person'sprobably like why, why is
everyone attacking me and no oneelse.
Yeah.
No, it was great.
Yeah.
So I did that.
And then somebody took a breakand was like, Hey, do you want
to try being the man in black orperson in black?
And I was like, uh, well, how doI do that?
Is it scary?
They were like, you just try tolike be far away and then move
(17:18):
quickly in the darkness and besomewhere else and move quickly
and watch out for people wantingto punch you.
Jeremy (17:22):
So they literally told you that.
Liz (17:24):
Yeah, well, yeah.
This is like haunted houserules, no touchy on either side
just generally.
And if you try to punch someone,it's considered assault and we
shut down a haunted house andyou could get arrested depending
on how much of a jerk you are.
So, but they say like, like yousaid, some people have.
A natural instinct that kicksin.
And there was once we shut itdown, but it was a guy who
probably had, had a lot todrink, who it was a reaction.
(17:47):
So we like ignored him and thenhe tried to do it again.
And it was super slow to thepoint where we're like, okay,
sorry, everyone else.
That's been in line for twohours, everybody out this guy's
a jerk.
I know, so, but fortunately, noton my shift.
So I got to like sneak up onpeople and it was the greatest
and I was like, this is my dreamcome true.
Improv skills.
I know.
(18:07):
I improv fear in your facesyeah, well it was like a, it's
like a Halloween mask that isblack fabric.
So I can see through it, not.
Super well, but I can seethrough it,
Jeremy (18:19):
but can you convey emotion?
Liz (18:21):
Just with my arms"AAAR! I'm emotionally coming to get you
and AAAR! I'm emotionallyrunning away" and"AAAR!
Emotionally surprise!" I thinkone time, the most like
adventurous I got was I didthis.
This is hard to do visualthrough this audio medium, but
I, the light would come on and Iwould be crouching.
And it would, I would justslowly move up into their, like
(18:42):
from below their vision intotheir vision,
Jeremy (18:45):
you were really owning this part.
You're like, I can do more withthis.
Liz (18:48):
So that is when I discovered that my dream job is.
Serial killer or a very specifichaunted house actor.
And so I feel like perhaps inthis version of my life, I'm
pursuing a different path.
You know, not one of those badserial killers, the one that
just terrorizes people and thenlets them go.
Jeremy (19:07):
What about like the sneaker upper?
Like your, your professionshould be the sneaky thief.
Liz (19:11):
The sneaker, the sneaker upper?
Jeremy (19:13):
I just couldn't think of a better..
Liz (19:15):
I should put that on my business card.
"Liz, the sneaker upper.
For all your sneaker upperneeds."
Jeremy (19:20):
I couldn't think of a better job.
Sneaker upper.
Liz (19:26):
Oh man, I could do that.
So that was a very importantmoment in my life.
How this story kind of windsdown is,
Jeremy (19:35):
wait, does the instructor come back to the
improv old man?
You know?
Liz (19:39):
No, that would be a great story.
No, what happens is.
The night that I am mass person,when the room is done, like that
30 seconds is done.
You pull back our curtain withthe exit door.
And so then you just quietlypoint here's the exit inspired
by the, the ghost of Christmasfuture, where he's just like a
finger pointing in differentdirections.
And it was quiet.
(20:00):
So it's very inspired by that.
So I'm just standing there inblack of just like black pants
and a black turtleneck.
But I, uh, So this little kid'slike, daddy, is that the man in
black?
And he's like, yeah, but it's alady in black.
And he says, how do you know?
Um, because, uh, well son andthen I, I wanted to shout at
(20:23):
that point because it is soawkward at this moment.
I'm trying to be intimidating.
And if they could see behind mymask, it was bright red.
And just like, feel like I gotto like slouch a little.
So next time I'll remember towear something baggy.
So they won't know.
So serial killer who runs aroundscreaming,"BOOBS!"
Jeremy (20:44):
Boobs! I'm a woman!
Liz (20:48):
Aaa! So the haunted house was sponsored by lovers package.
Jeremy (20:52):
Are you kidding me?
Liz (20:52):
Local romantic, no, romantic store.
And so when you exit there's alittle gift shop.
So that scary room was like thelast room.
Jeremy (21:01):
Did you have to be of a certain age to attend this?
Uh,
Liz (21:06):
yeah.
No, you don't.
You don't have to be.
I mean, I think that the way thegift shop was marketed, I say
this, but again, remember peoplewho forgot fire Marshal exists,
who knew what rules, evenexisted.
Jeremy (21:17):
This was a fundraiser, a haunted house in a parking
garage, sponsored by loverspackage.
Liz (21:24):
Yeah.
Are you trying to like, letpeople track it down,
Jeremy (21:30):
taking notes, I'm taking notes.
Liz (21:32):
Um, and so you walk out of the scary room and you're into
part of the parking garage,right.
Where it's like, Oh, this is thegift shop.
And they're selling littlethings.
And then you go to the exit,which is.
I think there's an elevatorsomewhere there must've been,
but it is kinda like your oldschool parking garage exit.
Where do you go through like anearly cement door into a cement
(21:53):
staircase down in each layer.
So you you're on the fifth floorand you go down and when you
pass the fourth floor, someoneradios, Hey, people just went
down to the fourth floor and thefourth floor door opens behind
you and a man and a brightorange outfit and like crazy
hair and a chainsaw chainsaw, nochain.
(22:13):
So it's not dangerous.
It was like, Whoa.
And it sounds amazing.
Cause it's echoing through thewhole thing just starts chasing
Woah! and you're like, well, sowe would like, okay,"aw gift
shop".
And we hear"AAAAA!", they'rerunning out.
And then one group, it was afamily.
It was a, it look, I mean makingjudgements, but it looked like a
mom, a son and a dad.
(22:34):
They are going down their stairsand the chainsaw guy comes
running out and the dad pushesthe mom and kid out of the way
to go running to safety.
To which like the chainsaw guyjust kinda like lowers his
chainsaw and like looks at themom.
And they're like, did that.
That just happened.
Oh dude, that's messed up.
(22:56):
That
Jeremy (22:56):
is so messed up.
Oh, even the chainsaw guy'slike,
Liz (23:00):
Oh, Oh, that's your relationships.
Even scarier than me.
This is so sad.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
So I remember that happening andus all like judging that dude
that
Jeremy (23:14):
he's like shamed out of the haunted house.
Liz (23:17):
Um, and so then when, as we had our like celebration party,
Um, there was one of the cuteboys was like, Hey, Liz, let's
find a place to make out orsomething.
And I'll take you someplacespecial that only for you.
And there was no
Jeremy (23:32):
future with this gentleman.
Liz (23:35):
Well, I mean it, I thought he was cute.
And then he's like, let me takeyou.
I know where we can like bealone.
So he took me back to thehaunted house and this room
where there was a bench, but itwas the room with the fricking
hogs head, like looking at me.
Jeremy (23:47):
I was literally going to say, tell me he didn't take you
to the hog's head, took you tothe hog head.
This guy,
Liz (23:54):
he took me to the hog's head! That's how I know there
was no future with him at thatmoment.
The hog is looking at me going,like, don't do it.
So I was like, I gotta goanywhere, but here.
Jeremy (24:07):
So you did not.
Liz (24:10):
I started to, I was like, maybe, I mean, am I being over?
And then I'm like kissing andI'm looking to the side, like
right behind him is the eye ofthe pig looking at me going,
Liz, you deserve better.
And I was like, I know Mr.
Pig.
I know.
Mr.
Pig.
So I took Mr.
Pig's advice
Jeremy (24:29):
and you left.
Liz (24:31):
And I left.
And then!
Jeremy (24:33):
There's more?
Liz (24:34):
So.
Okay.
So my professor that we willcall Jacques Cousteau and this
guy that we call the toad.
Oh.
But then I'm making out withthe, you know what,
Jeremy (24:45):
he's a toad.
Liz (24:45):
It's fine.
You're right.
He is.
And I left that because I gotsome great advice from the pig.
Jeremy (24:52):
The Almighty Pig!
Liz (24:54):
Almighty Pig!
Jeremy (24:55):
He is not a Prince do not do this.
He is not a secret prince.
Liz (24:58):
I do not kiss him and he will turn into a secret princess
chris?
He will turn into a secretChristmas Prince maybe?
No?
A Halloween Prince?
Nope.
Oh, okay.
Just a toad.
So, cause the toad was from theimprov group that Jacques
Cousteau leads.
So at some point during theweek, the toad told my
(25:19):
professor, I guess that I madehim sad because on Monday my
professors like, so I heard thatyou broke Toad's heart.
Why are they so
Jeremy (25:29):
close?
That seems awkward.
Liz (25:32):
I know, and it really, I broke his heart because also did
I though?
Um, cause if that's his bestopportunity to see, like, this
is what I have to offer theworld,
Jeremy (25:41):
maybe he was checking you out for a while.
Maybe through the whole thing.
He was just trying to get thecourage.
Liz (25:46):
The courage to invite me to the pighead room?! Severed pig
head.
Jeremy (25:54):
I hope he someday listens to this.
And he's like, Oh my gosh.
Liz (25:58):
That's so funny.
I was just thinking, I hope henever listens to.
I mean, he must look back onthat and be like, yeah, no, that
was probably not a good moveyounger me.
Cause I have some embarrassingstories by this podcast.
Yeah, exactly.
In fact, Created a podcast,which reminds me that I need to
look at the stories and makesure some of them are about me
(26:19):
being embarrassed and not aboutme being by people who make poor
choices about pig heads.
Totally.
That's the story.
And what is our moral for thisstory?
Do you think
Jeremy (26:29):
the moral of the story is, do not try to have moments
that are meaningful in a roomwith a pig head,
Liz (26:38):
listen to the pig head.
Jeremy (26:39):
Listen to the pig head.
Liz (26:41):
We all have our inner severed pigs head.
That's trying to tell you whatto do.
Jeremy (26:44):
That talk to us?
Liz (26:46):
That listen.
Don't you?
I mean, me, me, I mean, if youdon't, then me either.
Jeremy (26:52):
I have like, maybe a tiger head.
Liz (26:54):
Yeah.
But I don't want it to besevered.
You know what?
Just, no, just don't.
Jeremy (27:01):
The moral is don't mix business with pleasure.
Okay.
That's all business, right?
Don't mix business withpleasure.
Liz (27:07):
That's good.
That's good.
Um, I was volunteering.
It is good to get out and meetpeople, but I really feel like
if there is a severed pig's headin your life.
That's trying to be a red flag.
I mean, the only thing that wasmissing was the pig to like
cough up a giant red flag out ofits mouth and be like,"run away
Liz! Run away!"
Jeremy (27:27):
Can I be more obvious?
Liz (27:30):
That just take the red flags and run?
I mean, I mean, I guess youcould take them, but like look
at them and listen to them andacknowledge the pig head.
Jeremy (27:38):
Awesome story.
Great story this week.
Liz (27:40):
And that was good cause that now you and the world knows
that story and I will foreverhave to continue to deny it ever
happened.
Thanks for listening.
And I hope you had as much funlistening as we've had talking
about pigs heads and other funthings.
I am Liz I'm Jeremy, get outthere and go make some stories.
Jeremy (28:02):
Make some stories!
Liz (28:04):
Goodbye!
Jeremy (28:05):
Goodbye.
Liz (28:27):
And, uh, I've been Liz.
I've been Jeremy.
Yes.
And, uh, I've been, well, I was,I realized, I need to say my
name at the end and I forgotthat we haven't, and so then I
was like, I am, I am LIZ.
I am.
I am THE Liz.
Jeremy (28:46):
Let's do take two.
Let's do take two.
Liz (28:49):
Oh, great.
Hey, this'll be great singermaterial.
If you get bored,
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