October 3, 2025 • 35 mins
What if the first, fiercest lesson in personal power began in the birth room? We sit with Kelly—licensed paramedic, yoga teacher, Reiki master, and now a doula in our agency—to trace how frontline medicine led her to a calling rooted in consent, breath, and presence. From the shift that happens when someone teaches you to ask for what you want, to the quiet courage of doing less and holding more, this conversation maps a humane way through complex systems.
Kelly shares the pivotal moments that shaped her practice: staying seven hours beyond a hospital shift to support a labouring patient, discovering that breathwork is the most reliable tool in a chaotic room, and learning that real advocacy means keeping the birthing person in charge even when plans change. We unpack informed consent as a living process, not a form; radical self-responsibility as a compass; and how a doula collective expands support, creates safety nets, and brings better referrals to families who need them. The stories are grounded and specific—home birth in Ecuador, partners who become surprising anchors, debriefs that turn hard nights into wisdom.
If you’re feeling nervous, unsure, or lost in the system, this one aims to bring you back to centre. You’ll hear how to set boundaries without burning bridges, use breath to regulate pain and panic, and build a plan flexible enough to meet real life. We also talk honestly about doula self-care—eating, writing, moving, and leaning on a team—so we can show up steady for you.
Want to connect with Kelly or our agency for birth or postpartum support? Tap the links in the show notes, find Kelly at the Voyage Collective on Instagram, or reach us at Deborah the Doula. If this resonated, subscribe, share it with someone expecting, and leave a review to help others find the support they deserve.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
deborah (00:13):
Hey Mamas, you're listening to Tend and Befriend,
a podcast about women's mentaland physical health.
This is Deborah.
I'm a mom of two, a labor andbirth coach and birth advocate,
a health professional, and todayI'm your host.
Let's dive into today'sepisode.
Any information you hear orthat is suggested or recommended
(00:35):
on these episodes is notmedical advice.
Welcome back to Tendem BeFriend, the podcast where we
dive deep into the heart ofbirth work, women's wellness,
and everything in between.
I'm your host, Doula Deborah,your massage therapist, and your
birth advocate.
Today I'm joined by someonewhom I'm quickly starting to
love and someone who is new toPelvic Glove Doula Agency.
(00:57):
One of our incredible doula's,Kelly Susie.
Kelly isn't just a birthworker.
She's someone who carries adeep, grounded presence into
every room she enters.
And today we're peeling backthe layers.
We're not just talking aboutdoula work, we're talking about
why we do it, what roots us, andwhat called us in.
Hi, Kelly.
Welcome to the podcast.
kelly (01:19):
Hi, thanks for having me.
I'm so excited to be here.
Awesome.
So tell me a little bit aboutyourself.
I'm obviously a doula.
I'm a birth and postpartumdoula.
I'm a yoga teacher, and I'm thefounder of the Voyage
Collective, which is a lot ofdifferent skills I've
accumulated over the years thatI've kind of put together to
(01:41):
offer the outside world.
And I'm a new partner with Deband a part of her new agency.
deborah (01:48):
And you're a Reiki master.
kelly (01:50):
I forgot that one.
Yes, I am a Reiki master.
deborah (01:53):
And you're a licensed paramedic.
kelly (01:54):
I am that too.
You're making me blush.
deborah (01:58):
Well, I love that you're licensed paramedic
because a lot of people who dowant a doula, sometimes they
want someone medically trained.
And that would be you.
That would be me.
kelly (02:08):
Yeah.
It's definitely a goodfoundation to have.
Actually, being a paramedic setme down this path.
It kind of opened my eyes tobirth.
So I don't think I would behere right now if I didn't study
paramedicine.
Yeah.
deborah (02:23):
Yeah.
Do you really feel like that wasthe step into that, into our
world?
I do.
I actually remember being aparamedic student and being the
only one that was interested inthe act of birth.
And I didn't realize it at thetime, but you know, nobody
wanted that call, but I was kindof like inviting that in.
(02:45):
And I found that interesting.
I didn't think much about itbecause I was young and I didn't
really actually know what Iwanted.
Um and then along the way, Ijust, you know, kind of
actually, I didn't even knowwhat a doula was, which I feel
like a lot of people don't knowwhat a doula is.
And somebody told me, aparamedic said you would make a
(03:05):
really good doula.
And that kind of opened my eyesa bit.
But it took me, it took me manyyears after that to actually
understand that that wassomething I needed to follow.
So here I am.
kelly (03:19):
Yeah, it was a calling, and you were bringing it into
your world, it sounds like.
Yeah, definitely.
It was really interestingsitting with you last week after
our birth at the our inductionbirth at the hospital.
And you told me the story aboutreally the first birth that you
were present at was actually asa paramedic.
Yeah, yeah.
(03:40):
I overstayed my shift.
So I was a student and we hadto do shifts like all over the
hospital on all the differentfloors, like in the ER.
And I had a shift in the OBfloor, and I stayed, I think it
was like seven hours over myeight-hour shift because I had
(04:01):
been sitting with this woman,and if I remember correctly, she
was alone, and we just createdthis relationship, and it was
really cool.
I wanted to see it happen, andI was with her every step of the
way.
So I guess I was doulaingbefore I even knew I wanted to
be a doula.
Sometimes that's the way itworks.
deborah (04:23):
Yeah.
So, what was it that yourecognized besides those
callings that you might havemissed, right?
What was it that finally gotyou to say, yes, this is where I
want to be.
This is what I want to do.
kelly (04:41):
I would say really wanting to make an actual change
in this world.
And I thought at that point inmy life, it was, you know, being
a paramedic, like you're doinggreat things and you're helping
to heal people on a certainlevel.
But I wanted more, and I didn'trecognize that till years down
(05:01):
the road.
I I really want to make a rootchange, and I really believe
that begins with the act ofbirth.
deborah (05:10):
Yeah, I had an interesting conversation today
with a detective with the OPP,and we were talking about, you
know, informed consent.
That's what we were talkingabout.
And I'm like, how are womensupposed to know when they do
get sexually assaulted?
Like if it's after birth, whenthey really have never been
(05:32):
taught informed consent, even inthe act of birth, like it
correlates to just accepting acertain type of behavior after
you give birth because youweren't taught properly in
birth.
kelly (05:46):
Yeah.
I think that that goes foranything in this life.
There's so much awareness thatwe're lacking as a society.
And if you don't know, then youdon't know, right?
And you have all these feelingsand you don't know why they're
there.
And I think having thatawareness is the first step to
(06:06):
creating these healthyboundaries when it comes to
things like informed consent.
deborah (06:11):
Yeah.
Healthy touch, healthyboundaries, right?
Informed consent.
What was the one thing?
Like, I know you you talkedabout wanting to make a change,
but was it a certain person likethat suggested to you it's time
for you to move towards this?
I've heard you talk about thisa little bit, but I don't really
know what it was or if it waswhen you were away, and it's
(06:32):
like, it's time for me to gohome and set up some roots
there.
Was it a place?
Was it a thing?
Was it a person?
kelly (06:39):
Was it no so many things?
Like I would say just the way Iwas living my life, and all of
my conversations would end upback at this place of wanting to
make a deeper change.
And I, because of my interestin birth, I would talk to a lot
of women along the way and fromlike all different countries,
and I noticed that they all hada lot of birth trauma, and most
(07:03):
stories were not positivestories, and that just kind of
fueled my fire a little bitmore.
You know, I took my training oflike during COVID, and I think
it just I needed time to gain alot of life experience to get to
this point, but I'm at thepoint now where it's just like
that voice in your head that youcan't not listen to anymore,
(07:25):
and you just have to like go forit.
Speaker 01 (07:27):
Yeah, and you and you also sometimes get nudged on
the path, and sometimes you getpushed on the path.
What I'm curious about now, Iin the back of my head is like,
I wonder who that paramedic wasthat said to you that you would
make a good doula, because I dohave a couple of town criers
here for my for my clinic andfor my business that are
(07:50):
paramedics.
Speaker 00 (07:51):
She's actually one of my good friends, and she was
my best friend.
She was my best friend inparamedic school, and she
really, really helped guide methrough that program because
it's very intense and I'm veryemotional.
At least I was very chaotic andemotional at that point in my
life, and and very empathetic tothe point where I thought,
(08:13):
yeah, maybe this I would be goodat this, but it can be a lot.
And I think that's when shesuggested, like, you're very
interested in birth, and sheknew me better than anybody, and
she brought that up actually.
Yeah.
Speaker 01 (08:28):
Do you think that it's important that that some
doulas, not all doulas, be alittle trauma-informed?
Speaker 00 (08:34):
Oh, a hundred percent.
I think everybody in the wholeworld should be trauma-informed.
Speaker 01 (08:40):
Yes, slash everything you said, Deborah,
and let's just take that.
And I agree, I do agree.
I think when you'retrauma-informed, it changes the
way you show up, it changes theway you behave, it changes the
way you relate.
Um, yeah.
One thing that I deeply admireabout you is how you show up
with such clarity and intention.
(09:01):
Can you share with me some ofyour core values and the beliefs
that guide how you support yourdoula clients or your yoga
clients or your reading clients?
Speaker 00 (09:11):
I would say my biggest core value I hold is
radical self-responsibility.
And that's it for me.
And I that's just you know,taking any situation in your
life and kind of checkingyourself in the mirror.
And I I really believe in justusing anything that comes your
(09:34):
way on your path to createsomething better.
And this to me is really thepath of self-empowerment, and
it's the path to taking yourpower back.
And that is my approach tolife, and it served me so well.
And I bring that with me ineverything I do, like you said,
like yoga and do look here, likeeverything I do, even just how
(09:57):
I am on a daily, maybe I'mannoying, but I'm always wanting
to talk about self-growth andhow can we be better, and
getting away from like why isthis happening to me, but rather
reframing it to like why isthis happening for me?
That really, really switchedthe narrative in my life, and I
I kind of came out of thisvictim mode to who like I'm in
(10:20):
power now, and everythingchanged for me.
And I think that that reallycomes out in it, like I said,
everything I do, but especiallyin the birthing room, I would
say like my goal as a doula isto remind you of your own power,
and that's my love language.
So I think that's like reallyit's cool that I'm at this place
(10:43):
in my life now where I get tokind of tie everything together
and I get to bring my lovelanguage into the perfect space,
into my work and apply that.
And I think it comes out ineverything I do.
I hope.
Speaker 01 (10:56):
Yeah, I think for me as an individual, my core
values have definitely I don'twant to say changed, but they
shifted as I've gotten a littleolder.
And I think that at least oneof my core values have changed
the longer I've been doing thiswork, right?
And one time it was, you know,you know, change, change the
(11:21):
world.
And now I look at it as changethe situation one birth mother
at the time, right?
Yeah, and and we talk aboutthat, and also I I get really
bored in those rooms wherepeople are not looking at
themselves.
I just yeah, I just feel likeall we're doing is talking in
circles and gossiping whenreally it's like, what can I do?
(11:43):
What have I done?
What can I change instead ofyou know, why me?
I think I really go ahead.
Speaker 00 (11:54):
Yeah, I think like like gossiping is old, like
nobody wants to do that anymore.
Like, let's be better.
And yeah, I don't know, like Idon't I don't like small talk,
like it's it's a struggle for meto to small talk, and I know
that can be a lot for somepeople, and I do have to check
myself sometimes, but I justthink what's the point of life
if not to dive like really deepand to to make change at every
(12:19):
second.
Speaker 01 (12:20):
I think the world still, so I agree.
I think that people like us, wecan be a bit annoying, yeah.
Right, we do want to just beshown the mirror.
This is how you're showing up,and this is how I see this being
different for you.
Whereas most people don't wantto be shown the mirror, right?
Speaker 00 (12:38):
They just wanna be comfortable.
Who wants to, you know, showthe mirror?
I mean, if you have themindset, then show me the
mirror.
But like I think it takes alittle time for everyone to kind
of you know get to that place.
Speaker 01 (12:52):
Yeah, I agree.
And the younger you are, theless you want to you wanna, you
know, self-reflect for sure.
Definitely, yeah.
So we've learned from lastweek's delivery, and I want to
definitely talk about this alittle bit, that do-la work is
beautiful and incredible, but itcan be so heavy at times.
(13:12):
Tell me a little bit about howyou hold space when things don't
go as planned, and then whathave you learned about staying
grounded in those moments or notgetting triggered?
Speaker 00 (13:25):
So I think when things don't go as planned in a
chaotic moment, again, like inany moment, I try to use my own
tools.
So I I like to practice what Ipreach.
You can't tell a laboring womanto use her breath and to come
back into the present moment ifyou can't do that either.
So I like to kind of treatmyself like the birthing woman.
(13:48):
Like, what am I gonna do rightnow to calm down and and come
back to my center?
And that's always first andforemost for me connecting with
my breath.
Like it's something we wealways have with us.
It's a free tool, it's soeffective.
It could be the only tool.
And I'm really comfortable withmy breath as a yogi.
I use my breath a lot, and itdoesn't mean I'm like in the
(14:11):
corner practicing pranayama, butlike just that simple
connection with breath reallyhelps me to come back to the
center and to um and to connectback with that present moment.
And yeah, like I think I'm alsoreally good at seeing the
bigger picture.
So when I'm, you know, I canget worked up, like of course,
(14:32):
we all can, we're human beings,but I'm able to bring myself
back down with you know, just myown awareness and to remind
myself of the bigger picture andalso remembering that it's not
about me.
Yeah, it's not about me.
We tend to make things aboutourselves and yeah, yeah, about
(14:54):
that woman, always no matterwhat.
Speaker 01 (14:57):
Yeah, I think a lot of times we get attached to
their wishes, right?
Speaker 00 (15:01):
Yeah, right.
Speaker 01 (15:02):
Like I think the biggest tool as a doula is
learning to pivot from the planso that the birthing person gets
what they need no matter what.
And as long as they stay incharge and they maintain agency
and autonomy, we're gonna feellike they've gotten a birth that
they've chosen, right?
Definitely.
(15:22):
But it's really hard not to gettriggered at times because we
are human beings.
And I do actually love that youmention breath work because it
is the one tool that you canpractice and that you can bring
out.
And I've I've been in a lot ofbirths where that's all that I
do.
I don't even open my suitcase.
It's just all breath work,yeah.
(15:43):
And a totally physiologicalbirth with no drugs and no
tools, just just the breathwork, which is really
incredible.
Speaker 00 (15:51):
Yeah, it's it's I would say the best tool on the
market.
And I think it can be reallyhard to connect with your
breath, you know, at thebeginning when you're not
familiar with it, you're notcomfortable with it, but the
more you work with it, thequicker you're able to like jump
into that um that space withyou know the ability to like
fully open your lungs and justit's not such a scary act where
(16:16):
most people unfortunately arewalking around and they're not
taking full breaths.
So, like just the act of takinga full proper inhale and exhale
five times can changeeverything.
Speaker 01 (16:28):
Yeah.
I actually teach breath work inthe clinic, and it's always
interesting how you knowpeople's ideas of taking a deep
breath are so it's like solimiting, right?
Like they lift their shoulderslike it's and it's like that
actually does not make anydifference.
And it's just interesting thatthe majority of the population
(16:51):
is walking around, not reallytaking a full breath.
And it's funny because I teachbreath work in the prenatal
classes, I teach breath work inthe birth consultations, and we
do really practice right fromearly, early labor.
And I have gotten asked so manytimes why, why, why?
Well, because it's a practiceskill.
(17:12):
And in the moment when you havenothing else, you can pull out
that tool at any time.
And it doesn't take minutes orany amount of time, it just
takes a second and you have thetool ready and to go.
And so I'd like to talk aboutit with like in early labor or
in like, you know, your prenatalvisits.
So I love that you're a masterof it.
(17:33):
I'm learning stuff from you forsure.
Can you tell me something abouta birth that has really
challenged you?
And it doesn't have to be abirth that you were in, it could
be one that we debriefed or onethat you were told.
But tell me something aboutbirth that has really, really
challenged you, made you want tothrow your hat in.
Speaker 00 (17:57):
I would probably say one of the births that I did in
Ecuador was a home birth, andshe was laboring for three days,
and it was a really an amazingexperience, but she was very
internal.
So I felt like I wanted to domore.
Like, what can I do?
What can I do to change thisfor her?
(18:18):
Like, how can I change this?
And I had to keep remindingmyself of the fact that it's not
about me and it's what sheneeds.
And yeah, it was a reallybeautiful process, but it was a
big learning curve for mebecause I think as a doula, you
feel like you need to be doingsomething the whole time, and
it's like almost moreuncomfortable to just not do
(18:40):
anything.
Yeah, and it's like you don'tneed to prove yourself.
Maybe that's where it's comingfrom.
Like, I need to prove that I'myou know, here for a reason, but
just letting a woman go throughher own process at her own time
is that's been challenging, butholding space, hold yeah, yeah,
(19:00):
essentially, yeah.
Speaker 01 (19:02):
Which is one of the biggest challenges in life, just
holding space, right?
You know, and there are womenlike that that just want to
crawl into a corner and just getthrough birth, but they hire
doulas, they want someone whostands next to them and just
holds space.
They don't need to be touched,they don't need to be told they
that they're great or amazing,they just want someone to hold
(19:24):
space and to be there if theyneed someone.
And I love that, and I'm thattype of person.
Yeah, you know, like I'm thattype of person, I just get it
done.
Um, we're very hire on people,both of us.
Speaker 00 (19:36):
So, you know, yeah, not that like physical.
Speaker 01 (19:40):
But I I hired doulas for both of my births in my
second birth.
I had two doulas, and I reallydidn't feel like I needed them
to do something specifically, Ijust wanted them there just in
case.
Speaker 00 (19:52):
Yep, yep.
Speaker 01 (19:54):
Um, and I guess that my next question was like, you
know, a moment where presencewas more powerful than words,
but we just covered that aswell.
And this is really important tome as a doula, and it's
something that I talk about alot with people that you know
are close to me and that are inmy family and my direct circle.
(20:14):
And it's like, how do you carefor yourself after your birth?
Like, what is it that you youknow, your self-care routine
after a birth?
Speaker 00 (20:26):
I would say eating a really, really good,
well-deserved meal first thing,you and the birth person.
Yeah, yeah, big time.
And I process by verballyspeaking with people that I
trust.
So, like, for example, withyou, you know, and somebody that
(20:47):
understands who's in thatworld, like a doula friend or
something like that, verballyprocessing and just like venting
about it is my best way torelease everything that I went
through in that moment.
And then I like to write aboutit.
I I like to write abouteverything, and it becomes more
(21:08):
of like a personal thing, andgoing to yoga, going to yoga,
yeah.
That's and just literallysweating it out.
Speaker 01 (21:16):
Yes, that's awesome.
I love that you write it outbecause it's important that
becomes your perspective of thatbirth story.
And I don't know if you've everheard me talk about Ainsley
Winter.
She's a practitioner here, andshe does art therapy.
Yes, and so she does thistherapy where she gives you a
(21:39):
magazine and you go through allthese magazines and you pick out
all these pictures and then youput them together on one page,
and it's like how you feel.
And so I love that.
I think it's really importantfor women in the postpartum
phase when they can't articulatehow they feel because they're
the the feelings are socontradicting and the emotions
(22:00):
are so contradicting to be ableto just put it on paper with a
photo and say, This, this is howI feel.
Right.
But it's a really cool way.
I haven't started incorporatingit into my life yet, but I
really, really love that idea.
I love that that made me feelexcited.
Speaker 00 (22:16):
Like when you know, like when you're a kid and
you're doing like a project orsomething.
Yeah, or like when you'reputting together your Christmas
list, you would just like cutthe picture and I don't know, I
used to do that.
Speaker 01 (22:28):
So like a vision board for Christmas, yeah,
exactly.
Yeah.
But I I think that would bereally cool also for moms to
process how they feel becausethere's so many things that
happen in a birth, right?
Like we're really, reallyexcited to be a part of it.
We're really, really excited tobe with this person and to help
them advocate and go after thethings that they want.
(22:50):
But there's also things thathappen in the birthing system
that really, really kind of putsus, I guess, in our place or
you know, makes us really feelthat we can't give them
everything that they want.
And after birth, you know,processing that is really,
really important.
And I would love to have apicture of every single one of
(23:14):
the births I've ever done.
Whoa, like of how I felt aboutit.
Yeah, it would wallpaper mywhole house.
Yeah, it would wallpaper mywhole house, but it would be
cool to have them in acollection, that's for sure.
Speaker 00 (23:27):
Also, to add, I think writing out, like, or even
just thinking about what youcould have done differently,
because obviously we're alwayslearning and you know, getting
better at what we're doing, andthere's there's always something
to learn.
You'd like we're not perfect,so to process like, okay, what
would I do for the next womannow that I know the bigger
(23:49):
picture and what was actuallygoing on, right?
Speaker 01 (23:52):
And I think that's a that's it's a great spot for us
to bring out what we're doingin the agency because that's a
part of being a part of a team,is you get to go to that team in
that moment where things mighthave stalled or things might
have been going a different waythan planned.
And you, you know, you call oneof your doula colleagues and
say, Listen, here's where we'reat.
(24:13):
What am I missing?
Is there anything that I'mmissing?
What can I do?
What are my options?
You know, whether you're tiredor you're emotionally into it,
or the system is pushing againstyou, it's always nice to have
someone else to be able to sayto you, yes, yes, yes, how about
this?
How about this?
How about this?
And I think the more peoplethat you talk to, right, and
(24:35):
your team, the more options ormore things that will come to
your mind.
And I also think, right, whenyou're debriefing, which is
something that we've done forevery birth that we've taken
part in, debriefing it andsaying, yes, at that point there
was nothing we could do becauseof a medical risk or this or
(24:55):
that.
And it gives us perspective sothat we feel like we've done
everything that we could, or forthe next time, how about we do
this?
And so that's a perfect pointto bring up that now you're part
of something a little bitbigger than you've been before.
How are you feeling about that?
And what's it like being partof a team versus being alone?
Speaker 00 (25:19):
Well, before I was a part of this agency, I did feel
a bit lonely on this path.
Um, I wasn't very wellconnected.
Obviously, I've I've been inand out of Windsor for a few
years, but I didn't know of manydoulas, and it just, you know,
I felt lonely.
I felt like it was kind of thisbig thing I was taking on
(25:39):
without any support of anyonethat understood what I was going
through.
And I think that this agencyalready has opened up a lot of
doors for me.
You've already given me theability to teach yoga in the
clinic, which has been so cool.
And I'm so connected, I'm sowell connected by being a part
(26:00):
of an agency, already likeconnected with the midwives and
so many more doulas doing thesame work.
And I think, yeah, being a partof an agency offers me this
feeling of like safety, I guessyou could say, that I didn't
really have before.
So that feels really good, andit makes me feel braver to go
(26:20):
out there and to offer what Iwant to offer because I know I'm
not alone.
And I think you're I feel likeyou're just able to go farther
in life when you have thesupport of a team because you
can rest more, you know, like Ican rely on you guys, I can any
question in the whole world, ifit's stupid or not, I can ask
(26:41):
you or Natalie or whoever, youknow.
Speaker 01 (26:44):
And that's like invaluable.
And I also think I also thinkwhen you're working either in an
agency or in a collective,every single person has
connections, right?
Obviously, I've been in thisworld in Windsor and Essex
County for 20 years, and I can'tsay that I know everything and
everyone who's in the birthworld because that's not true.
Every single day I learn aboutsomeone new that is in our
(27:07):
world, whether it's pregnancy,whether it's birth, whether it's
postpartum.
But I show up with all of myconnections.
You show up with all of yourconnections because my
connections are allprofessional.
I don't have a lot of personalconnections here because I
didn't grow up here.
Right.
And then Natalie has herconnections.
And that means that we have astronger and better chance of
(27:30):
finding the right need or personfor birthing families, and
we're able to support birthingfamilies a lot bigger, which is
really why the agency started,right?
And also my impact was small.
We make bigger ripples withmore individuals, right?
Yes, yeah, sure.
Speaker 00 (27:49):
Yeah.
Do you can help more people?
It's heavy work, like you said,and it's therapeutic to have
people to lean on.
So when we do show up, we're ahundred percent, you know.
Yep.
Speaker 01 (28:02):
Yep.
And if we're not, we can say, Ineed help.
Yep.
I need you to show up for me.
I need you to back me up.
I need you to come relieve me.
I need a coffee.
I need a coffee.
Bring me a sandwich.
And do you think that doulaslike a hundred percent?
I mean, it sounds like you'resaying that, but do you think
(28:23):
that doulas need each other?
Speaker 00 (28:25):
Oh, yeah.
I mean, yeah, yeah.
Uh for me personally, it didn'tfeel like it was working out
like that well until I wasconnected with other people.
I'm a big fan of having a teamto support you.
And I do everything alone.
Like, I'm a lone wolf, I'vedone like most things in my life
on my own, but I'm reallyfeeling myself healing through
(28:49):
this agency because I'm learninghow to lean on other people
that want to support me.
Speaker 01 (28:55):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
I I absolutely feel that doulasneed each other.
And if they don't have otherdoulas to support them, they
need to find a community ofbirth workers.
It doesn't have to be a doula.
Like one of my strongestsupporters right now is a
midwife, and we bounce stuff offof each other, you know, a
(29:17):
couple of times a week, and thenwe might go two weeks and not
speak to each other.
And sometimes we show eachother the mirror.
And I find that that for me isis so different than I've ever
had here.
It makes me feel more powerful.
Speaker 00 (29:30):
Yeah, you're stronger in numbers.
Yeah, exactly.
When women support other women,man, we're unstoppable.
Like that's that's what youdon't want you to know.
Speaker 01 (29:40):
Yeah, that's important to know.
All right.
So, talking about that, if apregnant person was listening
right now and she was feelingnervous, unsure, maybe even a
little lost in the system, whatwould you want her to know?
Speaker 00 (29:55):
Ooh, it's a good one.
Yeah, that is a good one.
I I always say that I hope thata woman can recognize that she
already has everything she needswithin her.
And I know that can feel likemaybe that's a little triggering
to some people, and maybe seemsunhelpful, maybe a little
(30:16):
corny, but I think it's so true.
And you need to just helpyourself get to a place of
uncovering that.
And you know, this is totallypossible with the proper support
and the education andpreparation.
And that's the space you wantto be in going into birth is
just trusting your ownabilities.
I think it's normal to feellost in this world, you know,
(30:41):
that can be scary, but I dobelieve that's the key to
getting the birth that youdesire.
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 01 (30:52):
Your go-to comfort item for a birth.
My hands or a hug.
A hug.
Love it.
Speaker 00 (30:59):
A quote or mantra that you love.
Can I swear?
Yeah.
I am fucking powerful.
That's mine.
Speaker 01 (31:07):
Woo! Love that.
The most underrated postpartumtip.
Speaker 00 (31:14):
Uh, have everybody that wants to support you and
love you just cook for you anddrop it off on your doorstep.
Speaker 01 (31:20):
Yes.
Don't even ring my bell.
What do you wish more peopleunderstood about doulas?
Speaker 00 (31:27):
That we're not all like hippy dippy and it's like
all about essential oils.
I mean, some of it can be, butI get the feeling that a lot of
people think doulas are, youknow, a little bit like woo-woo,
which okay, fair, but it's somuch more than that.
It's yeah, like, yeah, you needto be a strong human being to
be able to navigate through thesystem that we have to navigate
(31:50):
through.
Speaker 01 (31:50):
So yes.
Yeah.
So there's a need forhippy-dippy doulas too, and
there's a need for doulas likeus, which, you know, we're mat
trucks.
Speaker 00 (32:02):
I feel like we're a nice balance of both, though.
You know.
Speaker 01 (32:04):
Yeah, no, obviously.
I mean, everybody, it'sinteresting because you got to
go into birth with me last week,and everyone thinks that I'm
like a bit of a bulldozer.
And I am, I am.
I'm going to say I am abulldozer when a bulldozer is
needed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But in a birth space, yes, I'mI'm not who I am in my in my my
clinical practice, and I'm notwho I am on Instagram.
Speaker 00 (32:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 01 (32:28):
I have multiple personalities.
Don't tell people that.
Yeah, I do.
I have multiple people, peoplethat show up for you at
different times when needed.
So I think that that's a greatanswer.
What do you wish more peopleunderstood about doula's?
And there is education.
We are actually educated.
We can do a weekend course, butmost of us do way more than a
(32:51):
weekend course.
Speaker 00 (32:52):
Yeah, because you don't really feel prepared after
you do a weekend course.
You have to take matters intoyour own hands if you want to be
the best doula, right?
Speaker 01 (33:00):
Yes.
Yeah.
All right.
Your favorite thing that youhave witnessed at a birth so
far.
Like the funniest thing, thegreatest thing, the most
powerful thing, what is it thatyou've seen at a birth so far?
Speaker 00 (33:10):
I love when a partner who's like nervous and
unsure, just in the moment divesin and becomes the doula.
That is to me the best thingever.
unknown (33:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 00 (33:22):
Just full support.
Okay, I'm just gonna step backand let you do your thing.
Yeah.
You want me to get you somewater?
Yeah.
Speaker 01 (33:30):
Yeah.
I love that.
Yeah.
I I love that.
I love that.
That's your most powerful thingbecause think about what that
underlying means.
You love giving somebody elsepower.
Speaker 00 (33:40):
That's my love language, like I said.
Yeah.
Speaker 01 (33:43):
Yeah.
It's beautiful.
Full full circle right here inour podcast episode today.
Speaker 00 (33:47):
That's right.
Speaker 01 (33:49):
Is there anything that you would like to add to
let people know about who youare and how you plan on showing
up for Windsor and Essex Countyas a birth and postpartum doula
and a yogi and a Reiki master?
Speaker 00 (34:04):
Well, I'm just really excited to get started
because this is a deeplypersonal journey to me.
So I just can't wait to supportanybody that comes down my
path.
And I'm feeling really alignedand excited to support any woman
that that comes my way that'sin need of doula care, of yoga,
of breath work, of all the toolsthat have helped me get to this
(34:27):
point in my life because it'sbeen a long journey.
And I know the journey of birthcan be long too.
So um, yeah, I'm just reallyexcited and feeling like full of
life right now.
And you're ready to support.
Speaker 01 (34:38):
Totally ready.
Kelly, thank you so much forsharing your story and your
heart with us today.
It's doula's like you who makethis work more than just a job,
it's a calling, and you answerit with so much grace.
Please tell us how my audiencecan find you.
Speaker 00 (34:56):
Um, so you can probably best reach me on
Instagram at the VoyageCollective, or you can send me a
personal email at the VoyagedDoula at gmail.com.
Or if I see you in passing, youcan have my card and I can give
you my personal number and youcan really text me at any time.
Speaker 01 (35:13):
And also, Kelly is going to be hopping on to our
doula debra on demand everycouple of weeks.
So you can also get to meet herthere if you like.
And if you'd like to learn moreabout Kelly or connect with our
agency to find out if we arethe right doula's for your birth
or your postpartum journey,head to the links in the show
notes or find us on Instagram atDeborah the Doula.
(35:35):
And as always, take care ofyourself, take care of your
body, and we'll talk to you nexttime.
Thank you so much for havingme.
Thank you, Kelly.
Hey Mamas, you're listening to Tend and Befriend,
a podcast about women's mentaland physical health.
This is Deborah.
I'm a mom of two, a labor andbirth coach and birth advocate,
a health professional, and todayI'm your host.
Let's dive into today'sepisode.
Any information you hear orthat is suggested or recommended
(00:35):
on these episodes is notmedical advice.
Welcome back to Tendem BeFriend, the podcast where we
dive deep into the heart ofbirth work, women's wellness,
and everything in between.
I'm your host, Doula Deborah,your massage therapist, and your
birth advocate.
Today I'm joined by someonewhom I'm quickly starting to
love and someone who is new toPelvic Glove Doula Agency.
(00:57):
One of our incredible doula's,Kelly Susie.
Kelly isn't just a birthworker.
She's someone who carries adeep, grounded presence into
every room she enters.
And today we're peeling backthe layers.
We're not just talking aboutdoula work, we're talking about
why we do it, what roots us, andwhat called us in.
Hi, Kelly.
Welcome to the podcast.
kelly (01:19):
Hi, thanks for having me.
I'm so excited to be here.
Awesome.
So tell me a little bit aboutyourself.
I'm obviously a doula.
I'm a birth and postpartumdoula.
I'm a yoga teacher, and I'm thefounder of the Voyage
Collective, which is a lot ofdifferent skills I've
accumulated over the years thatI've kind of put together to
(01:41):
offer the outside world.
And I'm a new partner with Deband a part of her new agency.
deborah (01:48):
And you're a Reiki master.
kelly (01:50):
I forgot that one.
Yes, I am a Reiki master.
deborah (01:53):
And you're a licensed paramedic.
kelly (01:54):
I am that too.
You're making me blush.
deborah (01:58):
Well, I love that you're licensed paramedic
because a lot of people who dowant a doula, sometimes they
want someone medically trained.
And that would be you.
That would be me.
kelly (02:08):
Yeah.
It's definitely a goodfoundation to have.
Actually, being a paramedic setme down this path.
It kind of opened my eyes tobirth.
So I don't think I would behere right now if I didn't study
paramedicine.
Yeah.
deborah (02:23):
Yeah.
Do you really feel like that wasthe step into that, into our
world?
I do.
I actually remember being aparamedic student and being the
only one that was interested inthe act of birth.
And I didn't realize it at thetime, but you know, nobody
wanted that call, but I was kindof like inviting that in.
(02:45):
And I found that interesting.
I didn't think much about itbecause I was young and I didn't
really actually know what Iwanted.
Um and then along the way, Ijust, you know, kind of
actually, I didn't even knowwhat a doula was, which I feel
like a lot of people don't knowwhat a doula is.
And somebody told me, aparamedic said you would make a
(03:05):
really good doula.
And that kind of opened my eyesa bit.
But it took me, it took me manyyears after that to actually
understand that that wassomething I needed to follow.
So here I am.
kelly (03:19):
Yeah, it was a calling, and you were bringing it into
your world, it sounds like.
Yeah, definitely.
It was really interestingsitting with you last week after
our birth at the our inductionbirth at the hospital.
And you told me the story aboutreally the first birth that you
were present at was actually asa paramedic.
Yeah, yeah.
(03:40):
I overstayed my shift.
So I was a student and we hadto do shifts like all over the
hospital on all the differentfloors, like in the ER.
And I had a shift in the OBfloor, and I stayed, I think it
was like seven hours over myeight-hour shift because I had
(04:01):
been sitting with this woman,and if I remember correctly, she
was alone, and we just createdthis relationship, and it was
really cool.
I wanted to see it happen, andI was with her every step of the
way.
So I guess I was doulaingbefore I even knew I wanted to
be a doula.
Sometimes that's the way itworks.
deborah (04:23):
Yeah.
So, what was it that yourecognized besides those
callings that you might havemissed, right?
What was it that finally gotyou to say, yes, this is where I
want to be.
This is what I want to do.
kelly (04:41):
I would say really wanting to make an actual change
in this world.
And I thought at that point inmy life, it was, you know, being
a paramedic, like you're doinggreat things and you're helping
to heal people on a certainlevel.
But I wanted more, and I didn'trecognize that till years down
(05:01):
the road.
I I really want to make a rootchange, and I really believe
that begins with the act ofbirth.
deborah (05:10):
Yeah, I had an interesting conversation today
with a detective with the OPP,and we were talking about, you
know, informed consent.
That's what we were talkingabout.
And I'm like, how are womensupposed to know when they do
get sexually assaulted?
Like if it's after birth, whenthey really have never been
(05:32):
taught informed consent, even inthe act of birth, like it
correlates to just accepting acertain type of behavior after
you give birth because youweren't taught properly in
birth.
kelly (05:46):
Yeah.
I think that that goes foranything in this life.
There's so much awareness thatwe're lacking as a society.
And if you don't know, then youdon't know, right?
And you have all these feelingsand you don't know why they're
there.
And I think having thatawareness is the first step to
(06:06):
creating these healthyboundaries when it comes to
things like informed consent.
deborah (06:11):
Yeah.
Healthy touch, healthyboundaries, right?
Informed consent.
What was the one thing?
Like, I know you you talkedabout wanting to make a change,
but was it a certain person likethat suggested to you it's time
for you to move towards this?
I've heard you talk about thisa little bit, but I don't really
know what it was or if it waswhen you were away, and it's
(06:32):
like, it's time for me to gohome and set up some roots
there.
Was it a place?
Was it a thing?
Was it a person?
kelly (06:39):
Was it no so many things?
Like I would say just the way Iwas living my life, and all of
my conversations would end upback at this place of wanting to
make a deeper change.
And I, because of my interestin birth, I would talk to a lot
of women along the way and fromlike all different countries,
and I noticed that they all hada lot of birth trauma, and most
(07:03):
stories were not positivestories, and that just kind of
fueled my fire a little bitmore.
You know, I took my training oflike during COVID, and I think
it just I needed time to gain alot of life experience to get to
this point, but I'm at thepoint now where it's just like
that voice in your head that youcan't not listen to anymore,
(07:25):
and you just have to like go forit.
Speaker 01 (07:27):
Yeah, and you and you also sometimes get nudged on
the path, and sometimes you getpushed on the path.
What I'm curious about now, Iin the back of my head is like,
I wonder who that paramedic wasthat said to you that you would
make a good doula, because I dohave a couple of town criers
here for my for my clinic andfor my business that are
(07:50):
paramedics.
Speaker 00 (07:51):
She's actually one of my good friends, and she was
my best friend.
She was my best friend inparamedic school, and she
really, really helped guide methrough that program because
it's very intense and I'm veryemotional.
At least I was very chaotic andemotional at that point in my
life, and and very empathetic tothe point where I thought,
(08:13):
yeah, maybe this I would be goodat this, but it can be a lot.
And I think that's when shesuggested, like, you're very
interested in birth, and sheknew me better than anybody, and
she brought that up actually.
Yeah.
Speaker 01 (08:28):
Do you think that it's important that that some
doulas, not all doulas, be alittle trauma-informed?
Speaker 00 (08:34):
Oh, a hundred percent.
I think everybody in the wholeworld should be trauma-informed.
Speaker 01 (08:40):
Yes, slash everything you said, Deborah,
and let's just take that.
And I agree, I do agree.
I think when you'retrauma-informed, it changes the
way you show up, it changes theway you behave, it changes the
way you relate.
Um, yeah.
One thing that I deeply admireabout you is how you show up
with such clarity and intention.
(09:01):
Can you share with me some ofyour core values and the beliefs
that guide how you support yourdoula clients or your yoga
clients or your reading clients?
Speaker 00 (09:11):
I would say my biggest core value I hold is
radical self-responsibility.
And that's it for me.
And I that's just you know,taking any situation in your
life and kind of checkingyourself in the mirror.
And I I really believe in justusing anything that comes your
(09:34):
way on your path to createsomething better.
And this to me is really thepath of self-empowerment, and
it's the path to taking yourpower back.
And that is my approach tolife, and it served me so well.
And I bring that with me ineverything I do, like you said,
like yoga and do look here, likeeverything I do, even just how
(09:57):
I am on a daily, maybe I'mannoying, but I'm always wanting
to talk about self-growth andhow can we be better, and
getting away from like why isthis happening to me, but rather
reframing it to like why isthis happening for me?
That really, really switchedthe narrative in my life, and I
I kind of came out of thisvictim mode to who like I'm in
(10:20):
power now, and everythingchanged for me.
And I think that that reallycomes out in it, like I said,
everything I do, but especiallyin the birthing room, I would
say like my goal as a doula isto remind you of your own power,
and that's my love language.
So I think that's like reallyit's cool that I'm at this place
(10:43):
in my life now where I get tokind of tie everything together
and I get to bring my lovelanguage into the perfect space,
into my work and apply that.
And I think it comes out ineverything I do.
I hope.
Speaker 01 (10:56):
Yeah, I think for me as an individual, my core
values have definitely I don'twant to say changed, but they
shifted as I've gotten a littleolder.
And I think that at least oneof my core values have changed
the longer I've been doing thiswork, right?
And one time it was, you know,you know, change, change the
(11:21):
world.
And now I look at it as changethe situation one birth mother
at the time, right?
Yeah, and and we talk aboutthat, and also I I get really
bored in those rooms wherepeople are not looking at
themselves.
I just yeah, I just feel likeall we're doing is talking in
circles and gossiping whenreally it's like, what can I do?
(11:43):
What have I done?
What can I change instead ofyou know, why me?
I think I really go ahead.
Speaker 00 (11:54):
Yeah, I think like like gossiping is old, like
nobody wants to do that anymore.
Like, let's be better.
And yeah, I don't know, like Idon't I don't like small talk,
like it's it's a struggle for meto to small talk, and I know
that can be a lot for somepeople, and I do have to check
myself sometimes, but I justthink what's the point of life
if not to dive like really deepand to to make change at every
(12:19):
second.
Speaker 01 (12:20):
I think the world still, so I agree.
I think that people like us, wecan be a bit annoying, yeah.
Right, we do want to just beshown the mirror.
This is how you're showing up,and this is how I see this being
different for you.
Whereas most people don't wantto be shown the mirror, right?
Speaker 00 (12:38):
They just wanna be comfortable.
Who wants to, you know, showthe mirror?
I mean, if you have themindset, then show me the
mirror.
But like I think it takes alittle time for everyone to kind
of you know get to that place.
Speaker 01 (12:52):
Yeah, I agree.
And the younger you are, theless you want to you wanna, you
know, self-reflect for sure.
Definitely, yeah.
So we've learned from lastweek's delivery, and I want to
definitely talk about this alittle bit, that do-la work is
beautiful and incredible, but itcan be so heavy at times.
(13:12):
Tell me a little bit about howyou hold space when things don't
go as planned, and then whathave you learned about staying
grounded in those moments or notgetting triggered?
Speaker 00 (13:25):
So I think when things don't go as planned in a
chaotic moment, again, like inany moment, I try to use my own
tools.
So I I like to practice what Ipreach.
You can't tell a laboring womanto use her breath and to come
back into the present moment ifyou can't do that either.
So I like to kind of treatmyself like the birthing woman.
(13:48):
Like, what am I gonna do rightnow to calm down and and come
back to my center?
And that's always first andforemost for me connecting with
my breath.
Like it's something we wealways have with us.
It's a free tool, it's soeffective.
It could be the only tool.
And I'm really comfortable withmy breath as a yogi.
I use my breath a lot, and itdoesn't mean I'm like in the
(14:11):
corner practicing pranayama, butlike just that simple
connection with breath reallyhelps me to come back to the
center and to um and to connectback with that present moment.
And yeah, like I think I'm alsoreally good at seeing the
bigger picture.
So when I'm, you know, I canget worked up, like of course,
(14:32):
we all can, we're human beings,but I'm able to bring myself
back down with you know, just myown awareness and to remind
myself of the bigger picture andalso remembering that it's not
about me.
Yeah, it's not about me.
We tend to make things aboutourselves and yeah, yeah, about
(14:54):
that woman, always no matterwhat.
Speaker 01 (14:57):
Yeah, I think a lot of times we get attached to
their wishes, right?
Speaker 00 (15:01):
Yeah, right.
Speaker 01 (15:02):
Like I think the biggest tool as a doula is
learning to pivot from the planso that the birthing person gets
what they need no matter what.
And as long as they stay incharge and they maintain agency
and autonomy, we're gonna feellike they've gotten a birth that
they've chosen, right?
Definitely.
(15:22):
But it's really hard not to gettriggered at times because we
are human beings.
And I do actually love that youmention breath work because it
is the one tool that you canpractice and that you can bring
out.
And I've I've been in a lot ofbirths where that's all that I
do.
I don't even open my suitcase.
It's just all breath work,yeah.
(15:43):
And a totally physiologicalbirth with no drugs and no
tools, just just the breathwork, which is really
incredible.
Speaker 00 (15:51):
Yeah, it's it's I would say the best tool on the
market.
And I think it can be reallyhard to connect with your
breath, you know, at thebeginning when you're not
familiar with it, you're notcomfortable with it, but the
more you work with it, thequicker you're able to like jump
into that um that space withyou know the ability to like
fully open your lungs and justit's not such a scary act where
(16:16):
most people unfortunately arewalking around and they're not
taking full breaths.
So, like just the act of takinga full proper inhale and exhale
five times can changeeverything.
Speaker 01 (16:28):
Yeah.
I actually teach breath work inthe clinic, and it's always
interesting how you knowpeople's ideas of taking a deep
breath are so it's like solimiting, right?
Like they lift their shoulderslike it's and it's like that
actually does not make anydifference.
And it's just interesting thatthe majority of the population
(16:51):
is walking around, not reallytaking a full breath.
And it's funny because I teachbreath work in the prenatal
classes, I teach breath work inthe birth consultations, and we
do really practice right fromearly, early labor.
And I have gotten asked so manytimes why, why, why?
Well, because it's a practiceskill.
(17:12):
And in the moment when you havenothing else, you can pull out
that tool at any time.
And it doesn't take minutes orany amount of time, it just
takes a second and you have thetool ready and to go.
And so I'd like to talk aboutit with like in early labor or
in like, you know, your prenatalvisits.
So I love that you're a masterof it.
(17:33):
I'm learning stuff from you forsure.
Can you tell me something abouta birth that has really
challenged you?
And it doesn't have to be abirth that you were in, it could
be one that we debriefed or onethat you were told.
But tell me something aboutbirth that has really, really
challenged you, made you want tothrow your hat in.
Speaker 00 (17:57):
I would probably say one of the births that I did in
Ecuador was a home birth, andshe was laboring for three days,
and it was a really an amazingexperience, but she was very
internal.
So I felt like I wanted to domore.
Like, what can I do?
What can I do to change thisfor her?
(18:18):
Like, how can I change this?
And I had to keep remindingmyself of the fact that it's not
about me and it's what sheneeds.
And yeah, it was a reallybeautiful process, but it was a
big learning curve for mebecause I think as a doula, you
feel like you need to be doingsomething the whole time, and
it's like almost moreuncomfortable to just not do
(18:40):
anything.
Yeah, and it's like you don'tneed to prove yourself.
Maybe that's where it's comingfrom.
Like, I need to prove that I'myou know, here for a reason, but
just letting a woman go throughher own process at her own time
is that's been challenging, butholding space, hold yeah, yeah,
(19:00):
essentially, yeah.
Speaker 01 (19:02):
Which is one of the biggest challenges in life, just
holding space, right?
You know, and there are womenlike that that just want to
crawl into a corner and just getthrough birth, but they hire
doulas, they want someone whostands next to them and just
holds space.
They don't need to be touched,they don't need to be told they
that they're great or amazing,they just want someone to hold
(19:24):
space and to be there if theyneed someone.
And I love that, and I'm thattype of person.
Yeah, you know, like I'm thattype of person, I just get it
done.
Um, we're very hire on people,both of us.
Speaker 00 (19:36):
So, you know, yeah, not that like physical.
Speaker 01 (19:40):
But I I hired doulas for both of my births in my
second birth.
I had two doulas, and I reallydidn't feel like I needed them
to do something specifically, Ijust wanted them there just in
case.
Speaker 00 (19:52):
Yep, yep.
Speaker 01 (19:54):
Um, and I guess that my next question was like, you
know, a moment where presencewas more powerful than words,
but we just covered that aswell.
And this is really important tome as a doula, and it's
something that I talk about alot with people that you know
are close to me and that are inmy family and my direct circle.
(20:14):
And it's like, how do you carefor yourself after your birth?
Like, what is it that you youknow, your self-care routine
after a birth?
Speaker 00 (20:26):
I would say eating a really, really good,
well-deserved meal first thing,you and the birth person.
Yeah, yeah, big time.
And I process by verballyspeaking with people that I
trust.
So, like, for example, withyou, you know, and somebody that
(20:47):
understands who's in thatworld, like a doula friend or
something like that, verballyprocessing and just like venting
about it is my best way torelease everything that I went
through in that moment.
And then I like to write aboutit.
I I like to write abouteverything, and it becomes more
(21:08):
of like a personal thing, andgoing to yoga, going to yoga,
yeah.
That's and just literallysweating it out.
Speaker 01 (21:16):
Yes, that's awesome.
I love that you write it outbecause it's important that
becomes your perspective of thatbirth story.
And I don't know if you've everheard me talk about Ainsley
Winter.
She's a practitioner here, andshe does art therapy.
Yes, and so she does thistherapy where she gives you a
(21:39):
magazine and you go through allthese magazines and you pick out
all these pictures and then youput them together on one page,
and it's like how you feel.
And so I love that.
I think it's really importantfor women in the postpartum
phase when they can't articulatehow they feel because they're
the the feelings are socontradicting and the emotions
(22:00):
are so contradicting to be ableto just put it on paper with a
photo and say, This, this is howI feel.
Right.
But it's a really cool way.
I haven't started incorporatingit into my life yet, but I
really, really love that idea.
I love that that made me feelexcited.
Speaker 00 (22:16):
Like when you know, like when you're a kid and
you're doing like a project orsomething.
Yeah, or like when you'reputting together your Christmas
list, you would just like cutthe picture and I don't know, I
used to do that.
Speaker 01 (22:28):
So like a vision board for Christmas, yeah,
exactly.
Yeah.
But I I think that would bereally cool also for moms to
process how they feel becausethere's so many things that
happen in a birth, right?
Like we're really, reallyexcited to be a part of it.
We're really, really excited tobe with this person and to help
them advocate and go after thethings that they want.
(22:50):
But there's also things thathappen in the birthing system
that really, really kind of putsus, I guess, in our place or
you know, makes us really feelthat we can't give them
everything that they want.
And after birth, you know,processing that is really,
really important.
And I would love to have apicture of every single one of
(23:14):
the births I've ever done.
Whoa, like of how I felt aboutit.
Yeah, it would wallpaper mywhole house.
Yeah, it would wallpaper mywhole house, but it would be
cool to have them in acollection, that's for sure.
Speaker 00 (23:27):
Also, to add, I think writing out, like, or even
just thinking about what youcould have done differently,
because obviously we're alwayslearning and you know, getting
better at what we're doing, andthere's there's always something
to learn.
You'd like we're not perfect,so to process like, okay, what
would I do for the next womannow that I know the bigger
(23:49):
picture and what was actuallygoing on, right?
Speaker 01 (23:52):
And I think that's a that's it's a great spot for us
to bring out what we're doingin the agency because that's a
part of being a part of a team,is you get to go to that team in
that moment where things mighthave stalled or things might
have been going a different waythan planned.
And you, you know, you call oneof your doula colleagues and
say, Listen, here's where we'reat.
(24:13):
What am I missing?
Is there anything that I'mmissing?
What can I do?
What are my options?
You know, whether you're tiredor you're emotionally into it,
or the system is pushing againstyou, it's always nice to have
someone else to be able to sayto you, yes, yes, yes, how about
this?
How about this?
How about this?
And I think the more peoplethat you talk to, right, and
(24:35):
your team, the more options ormore things that will come to
your mind.
And I also think, right, whenyou're debriefing, which is
something that we've done forevery birth that we've taken
part in, debriefing it andsaying, yes, at that point there
was nothing we could do becauseof a medical risk or this or
(24:55):
that.
And it gives us perspective sothat we feel like we've done
everything that we could, or forthe next time, how about we do
this?
And so that's a perfect pointto bring up that now you're part
of something a little bitbigger than you've been before.
How are you feeling about that?
And what's it like being partof a team versus being alone?
Speaker 00 (25:19):
Well, before I was a part of this agency, I did feel
a bit lonely on this path.
Um, I wasn't very wellconnected.
Obviously, I've I've been inand out of Windsor for a few
years, but I didn't know of manydoulas, and it just, you know,
I felt lonely.
I felt like it was kind of thisbig thing I was taking on
(25:39):
without any support of anyonethat understood what I was going
through.
And I think that this agencyalready has opened up a lot of
doors for me.
You've already given me theability to teach yoga in the
clinic, which has been so cool.
And I'm so connected, I'm sowell connected by being a part
(26:00):
of an agency, already likeconnected with the midwives and
so many more doulas doing thesame work.
And I think, yeah, being a partof an agency offers me this
feeling of like safety, I guessyou could say, that I didn't
really have before.
So that feels really good, andit makes me feel braver to go
(26:20):
out there and to offer what Iwant to offer because I know I'm
not alone.
And I think you're I feel likeyou're just able to go farther
in life when you have thesupport of a team because you
can rest more, you know, like Ican rely on you guys, I can any
question in the whole world, ifit's stupid or not, I can ask
(26:41):
you or Natalie or whoever, youknow.
Speaker 01 (26:44):
And that's like invaluable.
And I also think I also thinkwhen you're working either in an
agency or in a collective,every single person has
connections, right?
Obviously, I've been in thisworld in Windsor and Essex
County for 20 years, and I can'tsay that I know everything and
everyone who's in the birthworld because that's not true.
Every single day I learn aboutsomeone new that is in our
(27:07):
world, whether it's pregnancy,whether it's birth, whether it's
postpartum.
But I show up with all of myconnections.
You show up with all of yourconnections because my
connections are allprofessional.
I don't have a lot of personalconnections here because I
didn't grow up here.
Right.
And then Natalie has herconnections.
And that means that we have astronger and better chance of
(27:30):
finding the right need or personfor birthing families, and
we're able to support birthingfamilies a lot bigger, which is
really why the agency started,right?
And also my impact was small.
We make bigger ripples withmore individuals, right?
Yes, yeah, sure.
Speaker 00 (27:49):
Yeah.
Do you can help more people?
It's heavy work, like you said,and it's therapeutic to have
people to lean on.
So when we do show up, we're ahundred percent, you know.
Yep.
Speaker 01 (28:02):
Yep.
And if we're not, we can say, Ineed help.
Yep.
I need you to show up for me.
I need you to back me up.
I need you to come relieve me.
I need a coffee.
I need a coffee.
Bring me a sandwich.
And do you think that doulaslike a hundred percent?
I mean, it sounds like you'resaying that, but do you think
(28:23):
that doulas need each other?
Speaker 00 (28:25):
Oh, yeah.
I mean, yeah, yeah.
Uh for me personally, it didn'tfeel like it was working out
like that well until I wasconnected with other people.
I'm a big fan of having a teamto support you.
And I do everything alone.
Like, I'm a lone wolf, I'vedone like most things in my life
on my own, but I'm reallyfeeling myself healing through
(28:49):
this agency because I'm learninghow to lean on other people
that want to support me.
Speaker 01 (28:55):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
I I absolutely feel that doulasneed each other.
And if they don't have otherdoulas to support them, they
need to find a community ofbirth workers.
It doesn't have to be a doula.
Like one of my strongestsupporters right now is a
midwife, and we bounce stuff offof each other, you know, a
(29:17):
couple of times a week, and thenwe might go two weeks and not
speak to each other.
And sometimes we show eachother the mirror.
And I find that that for me isis so different than I've ever
had here.
It makes me feel more powerful.
Speaker 00 (29:30):
Yeah, you're stronger in numbers.
Yeah, exactly.
When women support other women,man, we're unstoppable.
Like that's that's what youdon't want you to know.
Speaker 01 (29:40):
Yeah, that's important to know.
All right.
So, talking about that, if apregnant person was listening
right now and she was feelingnervous, unsure, maybe even a
little lost in the system, whatwould you want her to know?
Speaker 00 (29:55):
Ooh, it's a good one.
Yeah, that is a good one.
I I always say that I hope thata woman can recognize that she
already has everything she needswithin her.
And I know that can feel likemaybe that's a little triggering
to some people, and maybe seemsunhelpful, maybe a little
(30:16):
corny, but I think it's so true.
And you need to just helpyourself get to a place of
uncovering that.
And you know, this is totallypossible with the proper support
and the education andpreparation.
And that's the space you wantto be in going into birth is
just trusting your ownabilities.
I think it's normal to feellost in this world, you know,
(30:41):
that can be scary, but I dobelieve that's the key to
getting the birth that youdesire.
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 01 (30:52):
Your go-to comfort item for a birth.
My hands or a hug.
A hug.
Love it.
Speaker 00 (30:59):
A quote or mantra that you love.
Can I swear?
Yeah.
I am fucking powerful.
That's mine.
Speaker 01 (31:07):
Woo! Love that.
The most underrated postpartumtip.
Speaker 00 (31:14):
Uh, have everybody that wants to support you and
love you just cook for you anddrop it off on your doorstep.
Speaker 01 (31:20):
Yes.
Don't even ring my bell.
What do you wish more peopleunderstood about doulas?
Speaker 00 (31:27):
That we're not all like hippy dippy and it's like
all about essential oils.
I mean, some of it can be, butI get the feeling that a lot of
people think doulas are, youknow, a little bit like woo-woo,
which okay, fair, but it's somuch more than that.
It's yeah, like, yeah, you needto be a strong human being to
be able to navigate through thesystem that we have to navigate
(31:50):
through.
Speaker 01 (31:50):
So yes.
Yeah.
So there's a need forhippy-dippy doulas too, and
there's a need for doulas likeus, which, you know, we're mat
trucks.
Speaker 00 (32:02):
I feel like we're a nice balance of both, though.
You know.
Speaker 01 (32:04):
Yeah, no, obviously.
I mean, everybody, it'sinteresting because you got to
go into birth with me last week,and everyone thinks that I'm
like a bit of a bulldozer.
And I am, I am.
I'm going to say I am abulldozer when a bulldozer is
needed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But in a birth space, yes, I'mI'm not who I am in my in my my
clinical practice, and I'm notwho I am on Instagram.
Speaker 00 (32:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 01 (32:28):
I have multiple personalities.
Don't tell people that.
Yeah, I do.
I have multiple people, peoplethat show up for you at
different times when needed.
So I think that that's a greatanswer.
What do you wish more peopleunderstood about doula's?
And there is education.
We are actually educated.
We can do a weekend course, butmost of us do way more than a
(32:51):
weekend course.
Speaker 00 (32:52):
Yeah, because you don't really feel prepared after
you do a weekend course.
You have to take matters intoyour own hands if you want to be
the best doula, right?
Speaker 01 (33:00):
Yes.
Yeah.
All right.
Your favorite thing that youhave witnessed at a birth so
far.
Like the funniest thing, thegreatest thing, the most
powerful thing, what is it thatyou've seen at a birth so far?
Speaker 00 (33:10):
I love when a partner who's like nervous and
unsure, just in the moment divesin and becomes the doula.
That is to me the best thingever.
unknown (33:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 00 (33:22):
Just full support.
Okay, I'm just gonna step backand let you do your thing.
Yeah.
You want me to get you somewater?
Yeah.
Speaker 01 (33:30):
Yeah.
I love that.
Yeah.
I I love that.
I love that.
That's your most powerful thingbecause think about what that
underlying means.
You love giving somebody elsepower.
Speaker 00 (33:40):
That's my love language, like I said.
Yeah.
Speaker 01 (33:43):
Yeah.
It's beautiful.
Full full circle right here inour podcast episode today.
Speaker 00 (33:47):
That's right.
Speaker 01 (33:49):
Is there anything that you would like to add to
let people know about who youare and how you plan on showing
up for Windsor and Essex Countyas a birth and postpartum doula
and a yogi and a Reiki master?
Speaker 00 (34:04):
Well, I'm just really excited to get started
because this is a deeplypersonal journey to me.
So I just can't wait to supportanybody that comes down my
path.
And I'm feeling really alignedand excited to support any woman
that that comes my way that'sin need of doula care, of yoga,
of breath work, of all the toolsthat have helped me get to this
(34:27):
point in my life because it'sbeen a long journey.
And I know the journey of birthcan be long too.
So um, yeah, I'm just reallyexcited and feeling like full of
life right now.
And you're ready to support.
Speaker 01 (34:38):
Totally ready.
Kelly, thank you so much forsharing your story and your
heart with us today.
It's doula's like you who makethis work more than just a job,
it's a calling, and you answerit with so much grace.
Please tell us how my audiencecan find you.
Speaker 00 (34:56):
Um, so you can probably best reach me on
Instagram at the VoyageCollective, or you can send me a
personal email at the VoyagedDoula at gmail.com.
Or if I see you in passing, youcan have my card and I can give
you my personal number and youcan really text me at any time.
Speaker 01 (35:13):
And also, Kelly is going to be hopping on to our
doula debra on demand everycouple of weeks.
So you can also get to meet herthere if you like.
And if you'd like to learn moreabout Kelly or connect with our
agency to find out if we arethe right doula's for your birth
or your postpartum journey,head to the links in the show
notes or find us on Instagram atDeborah the Doula.
(35:35):
And as always, take care ofyourself, take care of your
body, and we'll talk to you nexttime.
Thank you so much for havingme.
Thank you, Kelly.
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