The #1 Mistake First-Time Moms Make in Early Labor - Trying to Make Labor Happen.

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🎙️ Episode Title: The #1 Mistake First-Time Moms Make in Early Labor (And What to Do Instead)
Podcast: Tend and Befriend
Host: Deborah the Doula

Episode Summary:
If you're in the last weeks of pregnancy and wondering “How will I know if it’s really labor?” — this episode is for you. Today on Tend and Befriend, I’m talking about the most common mistake I see first-time moms make in early labor — and how doing the opposite can shift your entire birth experience. (Hint: it’s not about timing contractions.)

We’ll unpack:
 🌿 What early labor actually looks and feels like
 🌿 Why the 4-1-1 and 5-1-1 rules are often misleading
 🌿 How to tune into your body, not just the clock
🌿 The real signs that labor is picking up
🌿 Why rest and nourishment matter more than “progress” early on

You don’t have to earn your labor. You don’t have to make it happen. Let it unfold.

Mentioned in this episode:
✨ Follow me on Instagram: @deborathedoula
✨ Book a birth consultation: www.pelviclove.com

If you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend who's getting ready for birth — and remember, you've got this. ❤️

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I hope to talk to you soon!!

Episode Transcript

Deborah (00:00):
and welcome to Tend and Befriend the podcast for women
in pregnancy and postpartum, aswell as general health.
We're here today to talk aboutthe number one mistake that
first-time moms make in earlylabor and what to do instead.
I'm Debra Dadula and I am yourhost today.

(00:23):
Welcome.
Today I'm going to talk aboutthe number one mistake that I
see first day moms making earlylabor and how shifting this one
thing can change your wholebirth experience.
If you're trying to force laborto pick up when what you really
need is a nap, this is theepisode for you.
All right, let's talk aboutwhat early labor really looks

(00:45):
like.
The contractions can come andgo.
Then they can space out again.
When you're able to talk,you're able to walk, rest
between the contractions.
You have this stop startpattern, especially at night,
very common with first babies.
You might feel excited,restless or unsure.

(01:05):
You question yourself like isthis it?
Am I possibly in labor?
And that's all common.
Early labor is your body warmingup to the idea of birth.
It can last for hours, it canlast for days and what your body
needs in this phase is rest,nourishment and patience.

(01:26):
My number one rule here with mydoula clients is if you can eat
and take a nap in this phase.
Go ahead and do that.
We want to really talk aboutand become familiar with the 411
and the 511 guidelines thatmost birth workers are familiar
with and that usually tells usthat we're in labor.

(01:47):
And as birth workers, we arealmost always looking for that
4-1-1, 5-1-1 guideline to tellus that you're in active labor
and what that looks like is yourcontractions are four to five
minutes apart and that thecontraction is lasting for one
whole minute and this patterncontinues for one hour.

(02:09):
So you're tracking yourcontractions.
They're lasting for one wholeminute 60 seconds, 65, a little
bit longer just under andthey're coming every four to
five minutes apart and thatpattern has been happening for
one full hour.
That usually tells us thatyou're in active labor.

(02:31):
Here's the problem with the4-1-1 and the 5-1-1 rule.
We've all heard it, all birthworkers are familiar with it.
If you've read any book ortaken any prenatal class, it's
taught all around the world.
But here's why it's flawed,especially for first-time moms.
Contraction timing can looktextbook long before active

(02:52):
labor.
There are women that developthis pattern before they're in
active labor.
It doesn't tell you whatintensity or progress is
happening.
For many first-time moms itleads to going into the birthing
center way too early, gettingdiscouraged or facing
interventions for slow progress.

(03:13):
Instead of watching the clock, Ihighly recommend that you watch
the birthing person or watchyourself.
Can you walk or talk throughthe contractions?
Can you rest?
If yes, you're probably stillin the early stages of labor.
Here's how to know that it isactually go time and that it's

(03:36):
time to head to the birthingcenter the major signs of active
labor.
So contractions demand your fullattention.
You cannot talk through them.
They feel stronger, longer andcloser, and they stay that way.
You feel more inward focus, nomore chit chat between
contractions.

(03:56):
This is called primal brain andposition changes do not slow
down the contractions anymore.
I like to use this phrase.
If you're no longer walking,talking and acting like your
normal human being self, thenyou're in active labor and it's
probably time to go get somehelp.

(04:17):
Another thing that you have torecognize is that your body will
tell you your job is to listen,rest while you can and stop
feeling like you have to provesomething or earn labor.
The truth getting to five orsix centimeters is usually the
longest, hardest part,especially for first-time moms.

(04:38):
Burning energy early makescoping harder later.
You don't have to make laborhappen.
You don't have to earn it.
You just have to support yourbody by resting, eating and
trusting the process.
And here's my final message toyou about what to do in labor
Try to stop watching the clock,start listening to your body.

(05:01):
Your labor is happening, let itunfold.
You've got this.
Thank you so much for listeningto this quick podcast.
Thank you so much for listeningto this quick podcast and I
invite you to reach out to me onInstagram at Deborah the doula,
or book a consultation If youwant support preparing for birth
.
You can find us atwwwpelvetlovecom.

(05:22):
Thank you so much for listeningand let's talk soon.