August 8, 2025 • 10 mins
"Let us know what you think about this episode"
Forget the diaper raffles and puff-painted bibs. This isn’t your traditional baby shower. In this episode of Tend and Befriend, Deborah dives into the heart of nesting parties: intimate gatherings that blend community, preparation, and emotional support for expecting parents.
You’ll learn:
- What a nesting party is and why it matters
- How to create a calm, supportive environment (and who to invite)
- Practical tips for meal prep, baby gear setup, and hospital bag packing
- Why this kind of care can make the postpartum transition smoother and more supported
Whether you’re pregnant and craving real help, or you’re a doula looking for meaningful ways to show up for your clients, this episode will leave you inspired to bring the “village” back to birth.
Links & Resources:
- Free Hospital Bag Checklist: https://www.pelviclove.com/checklist
- Connect with Deborah on Instagram: @deborah.thedoula
🎙 Thanks for Tuning into Tend & Befriend!
🌿 Learn More & Work With Me:
💻 Visit Website for my birth course, resources, and to book a session with me.
📲 Stay Connected:
📷 Instagram: @deborahthedoula
📘 Facebook: @deborahthedoula
💡 Loved this episode? Subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs it!
🔗 Find all links here: Our website
I hope to talk to you soon!!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Deborah (00:13):
Hey Mamas, you're listening to Tend and Befriend,
a podcast about women's mentaland physical health.
This is Debra.
I'm a mom of two, a labor andbirth coach and birth advocate,
a health professional, and todayI'm your host.
Let's dive into today's episode.
Any information you hear orthat is suggested or recommended
(00:35):
on these episodes is notmedical advice.
Hello mamas, welcome back toTend and Be Friend, the podcast
for all things pregnancy andpostpartum and women's wellness.
I'm your host, debra LaDula, andtoday we're digging into a
topic that I absolutely love,that I was raised with but
(00:57):
doesn't happen a lot in today'sculture, but is coming back into
what women are asking forduring pregnancy.
It's something that blendscommunity preparation and rest
and all of those things in one,and it's called the nesting
party.
Now listen, this isn't yourtraditional baby shower with
(01:19):
diaper raffles and puff paintingbibs.
This is a get shit done, beheld by your village kind of
gathering, and if you'repregnant and wondering how to
prepare, or your doula wantingto offer more to your clients,
this one's for you.
So let's start by talking aboutwhat is a nesting party usually
(01:42):
a more intimate gathering whereyour trusted people come
together to help you physicallyand emotionally prepare for the
postpartum phase Baby showers,celebrate the baby, nesting
parties, prepare the parents andthat's the kind of care that
lasts.
The attendees might help youfold your baby's clothing, set
(02:03):
up gear, prep some meals forpostpartum or even pack your
hospital bag.
But more than that, they'reshowing up to say you don't have
to do this alone, and I've seenthis kind of support change
everything for new birthingpersons.
It's not just about checkingtasks off a list.
It's about easing your mind,softening your heart and
(02:25):
building a sense of readinessthat goes deeper than stuff.
So here's my take on how tohost one successfully.
Who should you invite?
You may want to keep it smalland personal.
This is not a public event or aperformance.
You want people there who areable to make you feel calm, safe
(02:47):
and supported.
Invite the friend who shows upwith soup when you're sick, the
sister who folds your laundrywithout asking, the ones who
love you when things are messy,not just when things are great.
If someone in your life causestension or drains your energy,
this is not their space andthat's okay.
(03:07):
This is sacred preparation, nota social obligation.
Now let's talk logistics andwhat needs to happen.
Before you even considersending out the invite.
Make a list of the tasks thatcan actually be completed in a
two to three hour window.
You know those nagging tasksthat you so desperately want to
(03:28):
get done but cannot bringyourself to do.
Write it down, be clear and addany instructions where they
might be needed, especially forthings like organizing baby
clothes by size or preppingfreezer meals, for example.
Let's start with the babyclothes.
You know those tiny littleoutfits you've been gifted or
(03:51):
tucked into drawers over thelast few months.
Have someone help you wash them, dry them and fold them into
little bundles.
And if you've got that onefriend who Marie condos her
closet for fun, let her organizethe onesies by size.
Then there's the feeding setup.
Whether you're planning tobreastfeed, pump or bottle feed,
(04:13):
let someone help you sanitizethe pump parts or set up a
feeding station.
I recommend you have at leasttwo.
You can buy two rolling cartsand make those your easy access
stations.
You will want one in yourbedroom and one on your main
floor.
Think of this as yourtransportable feeding station.
(04:33):
I want you to put your waterbottles there, your snacks,
nipple cream, a phone charger,maybe even a hand affirmation to
yourself, and make it a spacethat supports you and not just
the task of feeding.
Next we want to move on to thebaby gear the stroller, the crib
, the car seat.
Don't leave that stuff untilthe last minute.
If you've got a partner wholikes tools or a friend who
(04:54):
builds Ikea furniture for fun,and then the manual and say, go
for it, one of the best thingsyou can do at your nesting party
is to have someone install thatcar seat, preferably someone
who's done it before.
Most hospitals won't let youleave without it properly set up
and it's surprisinglycomplicated the first time
(05:15):
around.
There are in Windsor and EssexCounty fire alls that have
certified child passenger safetytechnicians on their staff that
you can meet with to make sureyour car seat is in safely.
I highly recommend that you dothat, if you have the
opportunity to, before your babyarrives, all right.
(05:36):
Next we want to talk about.
Having a sleep space set upthat feels calm and stocked can
make those early postpartum dayseasier.
Someone can help you loaddiapers into the drawer, refill
wipes, fold swaddles and tuck ina soft blanket.
I love creating a little basketfor middle of the night changes
, just something you can reachfor when you're tired and you
(05:57):
can know in your head in thedark where it is, and the babies
just add a full body poop.
Yeah, blindly looking forthings is not always a great
idea, and having this set upwill really help.
Do this at your nesting party.
And the next one is packing thehospital bag.
You can make this a group thing, especially if your friends
(06:17):
have done it before.
There's something really sweetabout watching people you love
hold up your robes or you knowthe things that you want to wear
in labor and say this one orthis one.
Let them remind you what theyneeded when they were in labor.
There's a real passing down ofwisdom in this moment from woman
to woman.
That is like nothing you willever experience.
(06:39):
And if you want a detailed listabout what to pack in your
hospital bag, there is a methodto that madness.
I have a downloadable freehospital checklist and it's in
our link tree on Instagram.
I can also include it in theshow notes and it talks about
you know how to pack threehospital.
(07:03):
Next, let's talk about the food.
Oh, the food.
If you've got the space and thepeople, do some simple meal
prep Muffins, loaves, chilisoups, smoothie packs, whatever
feels nourishing label it andfreeze it.
You will not regret this whenyou're home with a newborn and
haven't slept in 36 hours.
I highly recommend that youalso freeze 20 meals that are
(07:27):
prepped.
If you freeze 20 meals, that'llgive you about a month where
you won't have to think aboutfood every single day and what
you're going to eat for a mealand two of those days you can
figure it out.
The other 20 days of the month,except the weekends, you've got
it done.
Lastly, don't forget about thechange station.
(07:48):
It sounds small, but it makes ahuge difference when you're in
the thick of it.
Having diapers, creams andbackup clothes all ready to go
saves you from fumbling throughdrawers with one hand while
holding a baby in the other.
Make the changing station easyaccess and have a portable bag
or basket and take it with youinto every room, or get more
(08:09):
than one.
Now, when people actually startto arrive, don't be afraid to
assign tasks.
You can ask if anyone haspreferences, but don't waste
time waiting for volunteers.
Pair folks up.
Keep things moving.
If you need to assign onefriend to delegating, choose the
most type A friend that youhave.
(08:29):
She will be an amazingdelegator.
Play to your friend's strengthswhen people are doing something
they enjoy or feel good at.
They'll give it their all andthey'll leave feeling helpful,
not just entertained.
So here are some tips haveeverything ready so your guests
don't have to ask a millionquestions or run around looking
(08:49):
for things.
Stock up on the basics babydetergent, storage bins and
baskets, sharpies and tape forlabeling, all the gear, assembly
tools, ingredients for simplemeal prep.
And you know what?
A really great thing that I usewith a lot of my postpartum
planning right now is Instacart.
It is such a great way to haveeverything delivered on the day
(09:10):
of the party.
You want to set up workstationsif possible, and let's not
forget, this is still a party.
We've got work to do, but wealso want to connect and enjoy
these moments.
So put out some snacks, pourmocktails or herbal teas, put a
playlist on that you and yourpeople can dance to.
(09:30):
Make sure to take a group photoor, better yet, a picture of
the baby girl set up the stackedfreezer, meals or the hands
folding tiny onesies.
And I want to end this podcastwith asking for help is not
weakness, it takes strength, andmeans strength.
Letting yourself receive is notselfish, and nesting party is
(09:52):
one of the most radical, tenderthings you can do, and I'm so
happy they're gaining popularity.
And by hosting one, you'resaying I deserve to be supported
, not just when I'm pushing, butwhen I'm building the life that
comes after, and honestly youdo.
But when I'm building the lifethat comes after, and honestly
you do.
So send the invites, make thelist, open the door, let
(10:13):
yourself be cared for.
Thank you for joining me todayon this awesome podcast and if
you'd like a free checklist andguide for hosting your own
nesting party, dm me atDebraDudula and I'll send it
your way.
And if you're a doula listeningin, consider adding this to
your services.
It's a beautiful offering withlasting impact.
Thank you for joining me ontoday's episode and follow us on
(10:36):
Instagram for all things birthand postpartum.
Talk to you soon.
Talk to you soon.
Okay, let's talk soon.
Hey Mamas, you're listening to Tend and Befriend,
a podcast about women's mentaland physical health.
This is Debra.
I'm a mom of two, a labor andbirth coach and birth advocate,
a health professional, and todayI'm your host.
Let's dive into today's episode.
Any information you hear orthat is suggested or recommended
(00:35):
on these episodes is notmedical advice.
Hello mamas, welcome back toTend and Be Friend, the podcast
for all things pregnancy andpostpartum and women's wellness.
I'm your host, debra LaDula, andtoday we're digging into a
topic that I absolutely love,that I was raised with but
(00:57):
doesn't happen a lot in today'sculture, but is coming back into
what women are asking forduring pregnancy.
It's something that blendscommunity preparation and rest
and all of those things in one,and it's called the nesting
party.
Now listen, this isn't yourtraditional baby shower with
(01:19):
diaper raffles and puff paintingbibs.
This is a get shit done, beheld by your village kind of
gathering, and if you'repregnant and wondering how to
prepare, or your doula wantingto offer more to your clients,
this one's for you.
So let's start by talking aboutwhat is a nesting party usually
(01:42):
a more intimate gathering whereyour trusted people come
together to help you physicallyand emotionally prepare for the
postpartum phase Baby showers,celebrate the baby, nesting
parties, prepare the parents andthat's the kind of care that
lasts.
The attendees might help youfold your baby's clothing, set
(02:03):
up gear, prep some meals forpostpartum or even pack your
hospital bag.
But more than that, they'reshowing up to say you don't have
to do this alone, and I've seenthis kind of support change
everything for new birthingpersons.
It's not just about checkingtasks off a list.
It's about easing your mind,softening your heart and
(02:25):
building a sense of readinessthat goes deeper than stuff.
So here's my take on how tohost one successfully.
Who should you invite?
You may want to keep it smalland personal.
This is not a public event or aperformance.
You want people there who areable to make you feel calm, safe
(02:47):
and supported.
Invite the friend who shows upwith soup when you're sick, the
sister who folds your laundrywithout asking, the ones who
love you when things are messy,not just when things are great.
If someone in your life causestension or drains your energy,
this is not their space andthat's okay.
(03:07):
This is sacred preparation, nota social obligation.
Now let's talk logistics andwhat needs to happen.
Before you even considersending out the invite.
Make a list of the tasks thatcan actually be completed in a
two to three hour window.
You know those nagging tasksthat you so desperately want to
(03:28):
get done but cannot bringyourself to do.
Write it down, be clear and addany instructions where they
might be needed, especially forthings like organizing baby
clothes by size or preppingfreezer meals, for example.
Let's start with the babyclothes.
You know those tiny littleoutfits you've been gifted or
(03:51):
tucked into drawers over thelast few months.
Have someone help you wash them, dry them and fold them into
little bundles.
And if you've got that onefriend who Marie condos her
closet for fun, let her organizethe onesies by size.
Then there's the feeding setup.
Whether you're planning tobreastfeed, pump or bottle feed,
(04:13):
let someone help you sanitizethe pump parts or set up a
feeding station.
I recommend you have at leasttwo.
You can buy two rolling cartsand make those your easy access
stations.
You will want one in yourbedroom and one on your main
floor.
Think of this as yourtransportable feeding station.
(04:33):
I want you to put your waterbottles there, your snacks,
nipple cream, a phone charger,maybe even a hand affirmation to
yourself, and make it a spacethat supports you and not just
the task of feeding.
Next we want to move on to thebaby gear the stroller, the crib
, the car seat.
Don't leave that stuff untilthe last minute.
If you've got a partner wholikes tools or a friend who
(04:54):
builds Ikea furniture for fun,and then the manual and say, go
for it, one of the best thingsyou can do at your nesting party
is to have someone install thatcar seat, preferably someone
who's done it before.
Most hospitals won't let youleave without it properly set up
and it's surprisinglycomplicated the first time
(05:15):
around.
There are in Windsor and EssexCounty fire alls that have
certified child passenger safetytechnicians on their staff that
you can meet with to make sureyour car seat is in safely.
I highly recommend that you dothat, if you have the
opportunity to, before your babyarrives, all right.
(05:36):
Next we want to talk about.
Having a sleep space set upthat feels calm and stocked can
make those early postpartum dayseasier.
Someone can help you loaddiapers into the drawer, refill
wipes, fold swaddles and tuck ina soft blanket.
I love creating a little basketfor middle of the night changes
, just something you can reachfor when you're tired and you
(05:57):
can know in your head in thedark where it is, and the babies
just add a full body poop.
Yeah, blindly looking forthings is not always a great
idea, and having this set upwill really help.
Do this at your nesting party.
And the next one is packing thehospital bag.
You can make this a group thing, especially if your friends
(06:17):
have done it before.
There's something really sweetabout watching people you love
hold up your robes or you knowthe things that you want to wear
in labor and say this one orthis one.
Let them remind you what theyneeded when they were in labor.
There's a real passing down ofwisdom in this moment from woman
to woman.
That is like nothing you willever experience.
(06:39):
And if you want a detailed listabout what to pack in your
hospital bag, there is a methodto that madness.
I have a downloadable freehospital checklist and it's in
our link tree on Instagram.
I can also include it in theshow notes and it talks about
you know how to pack threehospital.
(07:03):
Next, let's talk about the food.
Oh, the food.
If you've got the space and thepeople, do some simple meal
prep Muffins, loaves, chilisoups, smoothie packs, whatever
feels nourishing label it andfreeze it.
You will not regret this whenyou're home with a newborn and
haven't slept in 36 hours.
I highly recommend that youalso freeze 20 meals that are
(07:27):
prepped.
If you freeze 20 meals, that'llgive you about a month where
you won't have to think aboutfood every single day and what
you're going to eat for a mealand two of those days you can
figure it out.
The other 20 days of the month,except the weekends, you've got
it done.
Lastly, don't forget about thechange station.
(07:48):
It sounds small, but it makes ahuge difference when you're in
the thick of it.
Having diapers, creams andbackup clothes all ready to go
saves you from fumbling throughdrawers with one hand while
holding a baby in the other.
Make the changing station easyaccess and have a portable bag
or basket and take it with youinto every room, or get more
(08:09):
than one.
Now, when people actually startto arrive, don't be afraid to
assign tasks.
You can ask if anyone haspreferences, but don't waste
time waiting for volunteers.
Pair folks up.
Keep things moving.
If you need to assign onefriend to delegating, choose the
most type A friend that youhave.
(08:29):
She will be an amazingdelegator.
Play to your friend's strengthswhen people are doing something
they enjoy or feel good at.
They'll give it their all andthey'll leave feeling helpful,
not just entertained.
So here are some tips haveeverything ready so your guests
don't have to ask a millionquestions or run around looking
(08:49):
for things.
Stock up on the basics babydetergent, storage bins and
baskets, sharpies and tape forlabeling, all the gear, assembly
tools, ingredients for simplemeal prep.
And you know what?
A really great thing that I usewith a lot of my postpartum
planning right now is Instacart.
It is such a great way to haveeverything delivered on the day
(09:10):
of the party.
You want to set up workstationsif possible, and let's not
forget, this is still a party.
We've got work to do, but wealso want to connect and enjoy
these moments.
So put out some snacks, pourmocktails or herbal teas, put a
playlist on that you and yourpeople can dance to.
(09:30):
Make sure to take a group photoor, better yet, a picture of
the baby girl set up the stackedfreezer, meals or the hands
folding tiny onesies.
And I want to end this podcastwith asking for help is not
weakness, it takes strength, andmeans strength.
Letting yourself receive is notselfish, and nesting party is
(09:52):
one of the most radical, tenderthings you can do, and I'm so
happy they're gaining popularity.
And by hosting one, you'resaying I deserve to be supported
, not just when I'm pushing, butwhen I'm building the life that
comes after, and honestly youdo.
But when I'm building the lifethat comes after, and honestly
you do.
So send the invites, make thelist, open the door, let
(10:13):
yourself be cared for.
Thank you for joining me todayon this awesome podcast and if
you'd like a free checklist andguide for hosting your own
nesting party, dm me atDebraDudula and I'll send it
your way.
And if you're a doula listeningin, consider adding this to
your services.
It's a beautiful offering withlasting impact.
Thank you for joining me ontoday's episode and follow us on
(10:36):
Instagram for all things birthand postpartum.
Talk to you soon.
Talk to you soon.
Okay, let's talk soon.
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