Hasan Minhaj

Hasan Minhaj (Off With His Head, Patriot Act) joins Ego as her dad for the day to discuss similarities between growing up first generation Indian and Nigerian, the intensity of mother/daughter fights, and if his kids think he’s cool. He also opens up about how therapy culture led him to a confrontation with his dad that didn’t go as planned. Later on, he helps Ego decide if she should buy a car.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is a headgum podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Hello, Hello, Hello, I'm Ago Wodham and welcome to Thanks Dad.
I was raised by a single mom and I don't
have a relationship with my dad and spoiler, I don't
think I'm ever going to have one with him because
he's dead. Yep, he's dead. But that's okay, guys, because
on this podcast, I'm sitting down with father figures who
are either old enough to be my dad or who

(00:33):
are just dads themselves. I'm getting to ask the questions
I've always wanted to ask a dad, like how do
I know if the guy I'm dating is right for me?
Or how do I even change the oil in my car?
And can you help me perfect my jump shot? I'm
so bad at basketball, maybe because I didn't have a dad. Anyway,
let's get into it with my dad for today. Steph
curR did just teach me how to shoot? I've never

(00:55):
known how to get a basketball. My god, so nice,
it's so great in the show. You're very kind.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
You're so good in the show. Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
You're very very kind.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
Okay, but you know you're great in the show. Yeah,
you're like, I'm in my back. Yeah, I believe it
seen Steeler registered trademark.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yeah, it's dope. I appreciate you man. Okay, So I'm
gonna do your intro.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
Okay, do we have to do it right now? We're gonna.
You don't want to be here for No, I don't
want to be care for it.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
It is it uncomfortable to get compliments for you.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
I just don't like it.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
You don't like it, like hearing it? Yeah, really if
I did it would it feels like you're getting somehow
assaulted or your boundaries are being disrespected.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
So I told you I don't believe in boundaries.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
But it's just like you've seen today's guest.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
No, don't do don't do that. No, it's what it's
in like our in Indian culture, it's just very like
like is it uncouth or just like not, it's not
you don't flex, you don't.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
So in Indian culture, if your son or daughter is
a doctor and you're meeting up with an other Indian
family at at a wedding cultural meetup.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
So you can academically flex, you get.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
You could academically flex.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
Nothing else merit based flexing. Yeah, So in a lot
of like South Asian and like Arab culture. There's a
lot of like evil eye, third eye, nuzzer, don't show
them this, don't whatever, Yeah all that sort of.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
Okay, yeah, but you can Okay, you can flex on accomplishments.
That's because I'm like Nigerians and uh Ola is a
doctor is a doctor.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
But that's merit based flex that is.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
But they couldn't be like she's a good person, like
but this is I'm going to read your resume.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
Okay if you want.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
Okay, you're on my show and I'm your Nigerian daughter,
almost said sister daughter. You've seen today's guest on Patriot
Act with Hassan Minhaj, The Daily Show, The Morning Show,
and soon you'll see him in his new stand up
special off with his head.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
I like that name.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
Please welcome my dad for the day. Hassen Minhaj. How
you doing good? Yeah, we really got right into it.

Speaker 1 (03:02):
We got it was great.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
That was good your vibe. We should really hang out
more father son stuff, father stuff. The i'd be the
father daughter. I don't know how to be a daughter
to a dad. And so then I like I tripped up.
Just there. I'm a great You're a good hang you
know that about yourself.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
Yeah, I'm not a goober.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
Okay, what's a goober?

Speaker 1 (03:24):
Just like have you heard of the term NPC?

Speaker 2 (03:26):
Yes, but like MPC making disco trick.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
Like like like if you're playing a video game and
you're walking around sims.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
There's non something and PC and producers know, non playing
care non playing character. I don't play video games.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
I knew I'd heard of. There's a bunch of people
just like walking into the walls and that type of thing.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
Okay, yeah, okay, Which you're not a goo, that's a goober. Yeah,
and you're not that you're playing character, you're PC.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah, okay, I have I'm a great friend. I have
a lot to offer and also a great perspective.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
But I want you to be my dad today. I
do you think you're a great dad? Oh? Not as confident?

Speaker 1 (04:04):
No, that's I can't. That's not for me to say.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
That's one of those flexings for me. Is this like
culturally wrong, culturally wrong for you to be like, yo.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
It's actually what it is is like my dad would
be like, I'm a great dad. Okay, So this is
more of like breaking generational trauma. I think of like,
don't don't say that that's not your.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
Place under to say. There's other people that would.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
Have a vote on that. Like when my dad's like
I'm a great dad, my mom would be like me have.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
Some Okay, when you guys make eyes like, yeah, that
is mine, I don't mean to call.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
No, I appreciate that perspectful. That is very cool of
you to do.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
I should have called you.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
That was very cool of you.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Yeah I did that.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
You knew that. You knew that's that's out of pocket.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
I mean, no, it's just like wild, like I have
friends that are just like, my mom's a bitch.

Speaker 2 (04:52):
That's crazy. You guys have to cut it out because
seem Nigeria. I seem like I always have raised right,
my mom raised me, right, you at the moment you
the minute I said I said, I can't call my
elder a mother whom. But it shows you how you
were I was raised right.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
Yeah, you knew you were Like what did I just
and you like pulled.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
I pulled it back. But anyway, your dad thinks he's
a great dad. Do you have siblings? I have a
younger sister, a younger sisters. The two of you perfect A.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
Very successful attorney dope.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
Oh cool. Your wife being is also very successful.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
She's very sucessful as well.

Speaker 2 (05:24):
I heard you talk about her on an interview somewhere
and I was like, cool and you you said you
married up or something SuperM right. I love that. Okay,
So does your sister think your dad is a great dad?

Speaker 1 (05:38):
She thinks my dad is a very good dad.

Speaker 2 (05:45):
Yes, okay, yes, what do you think of your dad
in terms of good? Great?

Speaker 1 (05:49):
Mid Now that I'm a dad, I was, I think
that he is great.

Speaker 2 (05:55):
He is a great Okay. So you're like, he just
knows himself. Why is that why it's so messed up?
Someone knowing themselves and knowing He's like, I'm in my
bag on this dad shit and he's and he's like,
I'm going.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
To own that. Yeah. It changed when I became a parent. Yeah,
that's the thing. But that happens though.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
I feel like we get older, we realize our parents
are people, and then you have kids. I haven't had them,
but you have kids and you're like, oh, hold on, yeah,
now I have a different perspective. What's some of the
stuff that changed for you in terms of your perspective
on him?

Speaker 1 (06:22):
It was like, it's a few things. It was just like, Okay,
was he a great dad? I was talking to my
sister about this. She was saying, you know, and like
my sister because she's really successful, like she did she
checked all the boxes. Ivy League, law school, she worked
at a big law firm, and.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
She's doing she did it all.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
Yeah, yeah, but she was. We were talking about this
and she says something that I was like, that's actually
a really cool flex about dad. She can openly dunk
on him like I can't, but she can openly like
she'll unload the clip on him.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
It's crazy. It's wild what she dunking. Tell me, like what.

Speaker 1 (06:56):
Like she'll put him, she'll check him. She really was.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
Yeah. Has she always been like that?

Speaker 1 (07:01):
She's always been like that. So she's a great journey
from youth.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
My mom says, I should have been a lawyer, honestly,
And I think, as I'm constantly dunking on people and
I was dunking as your sister, and I should also
hang out.

Speaker 1 (07:12):
You love her. She's great.

Speaker 2 (07:13):
Okay, maybe I should dope too, Yeah should nobody?

Speaker 1 (07:16):
Nobody in our family are like, there's no NPCs in
our familys.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
People are bringing it, Okay, yeah, I love that.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
Okay, So your relationship with your dad when you were
growing up, you said it changed, it shifted perspective or
you shifted. What was your relationship with him like when
you were growing up.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
Yeah, I mean it was like there's many layers to it.
Because my dad came to the United States in nineteen
eighty two. I was born eighty five, so very much
when your first generation, it's like these are these are
kind of strange things. But if you grew up the
way we grew up, you you understand this. The first
is like you are kind of your parents' property, Like

(07:55):
there isn't an idea of like individualism there you kind
of it's it's almost as weird, like I felt like
I was like a samurai warrior where I was like
I cannot you know yea, otherwise I'll have to like
like take the katana blade and like put it through
my own stuff to be like I'm sorry for dishonoring you.
So it's like I can't act out of pocket in public,

(08:18):
like I'm like a reflection of him. And then and
then the second part of it is like like it
is draconian dictatorship.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
So it's like you do live in fear, yes, and
by design. It's not an it's not a matter of
like I just was misinterpreting their energy. It was like
I need you to fear me so you will stay
in line.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
Yeah, And and they also like they they had to
do that. I understand it now. Like at the time
when I was a kid, I was like what, why,
why is it like this?

Speaker 2 (08:49):
Right?

Speaker 1 (08:49):
But then as I got older, I was like, oh,
they're the whole survival generation scarcity.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
Yes, so like, yeah, yeah, I get it.

Speaker 1 (08:59):
Okay, napkins from Subway, you had a crush pepper from Domino's,
and you had a whole drawer full of the drawer
to the spoons, just like.

Speaker 2 (09:06):
The taco bell sauce. This right, you don't need to
live like this. We really don't need to.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
We didn't need to.

Speaker 2 (09:13):
Didn't.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
Have you ever dated someone and you meet their parents
and you go it didn't have to be this way?

Speaker 2 (09:17):
Absolutely? Yeah, absolutely, So growing up when you were saying
you felt like in fear and like why does it
have to be this way? Do you have any memory
of a specific interaction with your dad or your parents
whatever where you felt that where you're like, I am
so deeply frustrated right now. But it's like they wouldn't
let me go to the school dance, or I can't

(09:38):
spend the night at someone's house. What's a memory you
have of a feeling like that.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
I just like they had to work all the time,
and so our house wasn't popping. Okay, you know like
the era. I'm obviously much older than you, much much
m much my dad, Yeah, my daughter's age, so like
that era of like I would call it like Clinton

(10:07):
era nineties American exceptionalism. Like our house was not the
sleepover house. Like I could not go to the movies.
I would have to like go to the Senate floor
and be like parents, Jurassic Park is in theaters the
number one movie in the country. I like, it's like
I would have to like testify before Congress to do anything,

(10:30):
to do any.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
Yes, And it was like that's and then your friends
weren't having that experience.

Speaker 1 (10:34):
A lot like my dad's the coach. It was just like,
do you ever do this for like okay, let me
just let me say this statement and then I'll give
you examples. Oh, now that I'm older, I realized, and
I was talking to my sister about this. Our parents
gave us everything we needed, but they didn't give us
what we wanted. Okay, So like I actually think maybe

(10:56):
the reason why I even kind of got into this
career and now kind of like live somewhat like Macaulay
Culkin and Home Alone is in Home alone too specifically
specific is like there was a lot of things that
I wanted. Yeah, it's like those are Air Jordan elevens.
I want those, the bread elevens, they come out every Christmas.

(11:17):
I want them, but I couldn't get them. Like when
you go to the movie theater and remember they have
that big rectangle like candy you know, Eminem's like just
a whole rectangle box eight dollars like this is it
was unimaginable, right, Yeah, so all of those things I
had so many, Like I want that.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
Right But okay, if they would let you go to
the movies, Okay, if they would let you go to
the movies, they wouldn't let you get the eight dollars box.

Speaker 1 (11:41):
Now was it a.

Speaker 2 (11:43):
Matter of financial Was it a matter of financial scarcity
or was it like financial scarcy? It was financial scarcity.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
Do you have fixed income? So my mom is a physician,
sure works of the VA. My dad is a state employee,
worked for the state of California.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
OK.

Speaker 1 (11:56):
So for like our parents, it really was for immigrant
and it's like this is you have this much money.
Every expense is just that going down, like the idea
of it growing of like abundant. This is not a concept, right.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
I would say I felt simo, that was not I
feel now I indulge. When I go out to restaurants,
people are like I kind of want to try the calamari,
and I go, well, then we get it and are
getting are indulgent? I am, how do you know?

Speaker 1 (12:25):
Just like you just have like refined taste. I do,
don't you was just like aspirational, finyl mix full down,
download all your photos, and mister I was just like
outfit fucking download full download. Was she go to the dropbox.

(12:46):
It's just it's just called like American Luxury dot jpeg
zip fucking download all of it.

Speaker 2 (12:52):
Well, that was my character, Kimberly, But she wasn't far
from as seen.

Speaker 1 (12:57):
I'm just like she dressed. Yeah, I just say I
would just be like I would. I think I've waved
to you like twice my up. But I was like, God, damn,
that's luxury.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
Listen. I'm a bit just trying to live over here.
I really am, and I thank you so much much
and I'm trying to. But what you were saying resonates
so deeply with me because I feel like when I
was younger, I wanted. I feel like I was. This
is insane to say, but as a kid, I look
back at myself and I'm like, I had ideas, and
those ideas were good, and the things that I liked

(13:28):
and wanted to do that maybe someone wasn't letting me
do because I'm someone's property. I'm like, they were right
and they were good, and I want to I still
want to do those things now and now because I'm
my own adult, I get to do those things, and
so I do indulge. I love to indulge. And I
feel like you are suggesting that you too now are
like I'm going to get the eight dollars box of

(13:50):
candy at the Mede Theater. I might get two of
them because I can. Do you give your kid everything
your kid wants? Do you have a boy or a.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
Girl, or have a daughter at a four year old son,
six year old.

Speaker 2 (14:01):
Daughter, and four year old son two years apart. Beautiful?
How many years a part are you and your sister?

Speaker 1 (14:05):
I'm four years older than my sister.

Speaker 2 (14:07):
Oh really? Okay?

Speaker 1 (14:08):
Now are you older than? Are you the older? I'm
the baby and by the time, but you carry yourself
with the older sister energy.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
I really could have been somebody's older sister greater. But
I'm loving being the baby. I've loved I didn't like
it when I was growing up. I really like it
now or I especially liked it. Am I cooler then?
I would say?

Speaker 1 (14:31):
Yes? Yes?

Speaker 2 (14:31):
No, no, no, no, I think no, no. I have two brothers
and a sister. I actually think I'm cooler than There's
four of y'all. There's four of us. It's boy girl,
boy girl. Yes, that's the situation. No, I'm not.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
The favorite, you're the favorite. I'm the favorite of my mom.

Speaker 2 (14:48):
Because your sister is dunking on your dad all the time.

Speaker 1 (14:50):
My mom's favorite with my dad is my sister is
my dad's.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
Because daddy's girl is the thing, which is why i'd
have the podcast. I've never been any daddy's girl. I've
never Do you feel for me? You don't? Oh?

Speaker 1 (15:04):
No, okay, that's fine.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
I don't even want you to know. I just wanted
to see if you did.

Speaker 1 (15:09):
And you were like, I grew up Nigeria and my
mom's Nageria, and I'm like, you're fine, yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:12):
Actually yeah, yes, got it taking care of you, get it?
Because I'm like, truly, my mom boss got it taken
care of herself. She's one of nine lots of uncles
and then uncles by uncles by blood and uncles by
culture around me, and so I'm like, I was surrounded
by male figures who were lovely and present and figures

(15:34):
and loving.

Speaker 1 (15:34):
Figures all around.

Speaker 2 (15:36):
Had older siblings too.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
I think, what's the biggest gap between you and the.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
Me and the oldest are eight years apart? So you
had like a yeah, exactly two, I had three. They
all treated me my sister a little less, but everyone
treated me like I was their child. My brother and
I who are really close now, I mean emotionally, he
and I are five years apart in age and growing up.
I was like, this human man wants to be my dad,

(16:01):
but he really just felt protective of me. Okay, he
felt protective of his little sister. And I actually appreciate
that now kind of a perspective shift for me as well,
where I'm like growing up, I'm like, why can't we
be like siblings. There's a lot of respecting your elders,
even if it is just your older siblings. So did
I should have to respect you growing up?

Speaker 1 (16:20):
Did you have to respect me?

Speaker 2 (16:21):
You know what I'm talking about. You have to respect
your elders.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
And we would I basically cheaters are like my little brother. Okay, yeah,
she's super funny. Okay, she's super funny. We'd wrestle, we'd
really yeah bottom her.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
Let me tell you what. I used to think that
I was as strong as the boys, and maybe I
was wasn't And I like, at twelve years old, remember
playing flag football with my neighbors outside was a bunch
of dudes, and I was like, guys, feel free to
actually tackle me, like for real, go for it. It's
not a problem. And one of the boys tackled me
was and I said, don't take it easy, full force
tackled me in the moment, and I was like, I

(17:00):
was twelve and that ship and I remembering like, okay, no,
it's different, it's different a little bit. It is different.
And I was like, maybe you don't tackle me, and
maybe this is where I have.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
To Yeah, middle school gets kind of like all.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
Yeah, it was like okay, that that hurt and I
remember that. And then I was like, maybe I can't
miss I want to hang and I realized maybe I
should hang a little less. I should a little less. Yeah,
at twelve, I was like tackle me. I was like, guys,
it's fine, you don't have to take it, and I
meant it. And then that he took it. And that
kid was a little bigger than I was to begin with,

(17:32):
though he's older than the crew. Anyway, he was like
maybe fourteen, and he was like big for like a
bralic dude for his age and size and anyway, I
just remember the wind getting knocked out of me, and
I'm flashing memories here. Anyway, crazy it was. My brother
was not there because he was five years the closest one.

(17:52):
It aged me five years older, so he was like,
what seventeen, he was going to hang out? He was
going to kick yeah, not not me, kick it with
the sand like yeah, not at all. Now, did you
have playful moments with your dad growing up?

Speaker 1 (18:05):
No?

Speaker 2 (18:05):
No, none, whatsoever?

Speaker 1 (18:07):
Does your mom have hobbies like I was gonna I
want to ask you this. Oh no, yeah, to be like, so, so,
what are your hobbies?

Speaker 2 (18:11):
Like, what do you my mom's my hobbies? Your mom,
your mother's non My mom worked and she works and
she she kind of retired for a second and.

Speaker 1 (18:21):
Was like, actually, like what's happened? The news?

Speaker 2 (18:24):
She knows, WhatsApp, the lottery, the news, always the news,
The news is always on. Do your parents watch anything?

Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yeah, they're just their brains are fried because the internet,
the Internet.

Speaker 2 (18:33):
So they're on the internet.

Speaker 1 (18:34):
There's yeah, you know how like when they're like, the
Internet is destroying our children, Like it's also destroying the
boomer There's like two groups of people that it's like
it's just cocoa, melon and Cian are just frying.

Speaker 2 (18:45):
Yes, but it's on in the house at all times. Yeah, okay, CNN.
If they're not watching CNN, they're on CNN dot com
type type thing, BBC. Yeah, and it's just okay, okay,
got it. So what was your relationship with him? Like
you're growing up, I know you said draconian like dictator,
I'm your property. What you guys connecting?

Speaker 1 (19:05):
I'm like working on this bit. So there was there's
there was very little connection. It was just like, hey,
I'm doing stuff and you got to come with me.
Like it was that.

Speaker 2 (19:13):
It was very It's so like.

Speaker 1 (19:16):
This was also something that I that was very different
from me and my friends. My friends would be like,
I'm on the baseball team. I'm on the basketball team,
like my dad is the coach. And after that, I
go to like my friend's house to hang out. Like
they had all the they had their own life and
they're like, my dad is at work and then he
like plays golf and I'm like, what what are you

(19:37):
tell talking about? Like your parents just don't work until
they're tired and then like get home, not talk to
each other and just like shovel food in them out
and they go to sleep and do it all over it.
But yeah, they're just like, yeah, I would go to
my friend's house. I just remember it. Like all they'd
be like, this is this is my dad's like record collection.
My dad's into Billy Joel. I'm like what yeah, and
he's like he shares it with me, and I'm like

(19:59):
this is insane. It's not. Oh.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
I have to say my mom loves Brian Adams. I
will say that when we talk about hobbies I guess
being Brian Adams. Oh big long time, big time Brian
Adams fan. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:11):
So anyways, so like that was very different, Like I.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
Yes, okay, so little wait what was the little connection?
The bit go ahead, the bit, I haven't figured it
out yet, okay, but I wanted to do this thing
with like so when presidents get super old, this is
about to happen. Okay, So when Joe Biden like ends
up leaving office, everyone's going to be like Grandpa Joe, like,
thank you, thank you for everything you did.

Speaker 1 (20:38):
And I'm like, same thing with like George W. Bush,
Like he's a painter and look, yeah he drew like
a painting, you know, like for Hoda, Like he drew
a thing for Holda and like here you go, holda
and it's like we just we forgot everything right. It's
just like this like just roly Poly Jam an older
Sufi poet. The bit that I'm trying to work on
is your dad was fucking psyched when he was forty two.

(21:01):
When Joseph robin At Biden was forty two, he had
that capital D fucking dog in him. Your dad when
he was chock full of unresolved testosterone, oh, psychot psycho.
So I've met certain dads now that they're seventy, and
they're just yeah, just these impotent pencils that are just

(21:24):
falling apart. I'll shake their hand and I'll just they'll
be like, Hi, I'm Thomas, and I'm like, oh, you
were a fucking monster. Yeah, the things you did on
your trip to Charlotte, right, oh yeah yeah, yeah, like
I know who you were in nineteen ninety five. Of
course I'm that age, but like soft, my Mozilla Firefox

(21:45):
is updated. So the things that they would I do
during that era, the rage that they would transmute on
other people, yes, yes, oh they were nuts.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
Yes. Why did you go Mozilla instead of Chrome?

Speaker 1 (21:57):
I'm a Mozilla guy?

Speaker 2 (21:58):
You use Mozilla?

Speaker 1 (21:59):
Yeah? You know?

Speaker 2 (22:00):
I love Safari, just gonna say it. I don't know
what everyone's beef with Safari is. I love it? Okay,
I just yeah, okay, good. I'm glad I'm not being
judged here. Yeah. You know what's interesting. I was thinking
about how we love babies, we love the elderly, and
I feel like we expect everyone in between to just
be trash, Like we just decide baby's innocent. Old people

(22:22):
you're at the end of your road, like and everyone
in between, it's like fair game to ship on them,
to abuse them and whatever else you want to do.
So I feel like that to your point here, I'm like, yeah,
your dad when he was forty two, it's a bad man.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
It's a bad man.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
But do you think they stop being bad? They stop
being bad because that your dad had.

Speaker 1 (22:40):
A mustache, must hit a mustash for a little air?
Does he?

Speaker 2 (22:43):
Is he baby face, fresh clean face? Now? Why do
you think he switched up?

Speaker 1 (22:48):
There was like a six year run where he had
a mustache and it was intense.

Speaker 2 (22:52):
But you think he was trying to intimidate.

Speaker 1 (22:54):
I don't know. I was like, why do you look
like your highway patrol? Like it was like Indian Highway patrol.

Speaker 2 (22:58):
It was kind of yeah about fashion and his Luke's
l e wks.

Speaker 1 (23:03):
So as I've gotten older, I realized my dad did
have like a lot of dreams. He really wanted to Okay,
he was really enamored by American history and politics and
movies and film and stuff like that. But at the time,
like he was not particulating that. Yeah, so it's pretty cool,
Like now that he's older, Yeah, and I'm older, I'm

(23:23):
able to I have met them where they're at. Okay,
and this is very different than a lot of my friends.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
Sure in what sense?

Speaker 1 (23:30):
Well, there's like this whole thing in therapy culture where
they're like, you know why you need to confront your
parents about your trauma now, Like vox dot com will
put out an article to be like happy Thanksgiving, It's
time to rip your mother a new one, and you're like, what, yeah,
that sort of stuff that very like hyper individualistic. The
world stops and ends at my feelings, right, and I

(23:53):
need to go get my pound of flesh from everybody
who's aggrieved me and done me wrong. And I had
that moment Okay, I thought that. Okay, yeah, and that
went very poorly. You did you?

Speaker 2 (24:02):
You confronted your parents, confronted my parents? How long ago
was that?

Speaker 1 (24:05):
It's like three years ago.

Speaker 2 (24:06):
Three years was so stupid. Okay. You had a one
year old at the time.

Speaker 1 (24:10):
And a one year old and.

Speaker 2 (24:12):
I got do math. Why can't we do math? Three
year old?

Speaker 1 (24:14):
Four year old?

Speaker 2 (24:15):
Four year old? Yeah, it was one year old and
three year old, T one and three? And what made
you do it? Because the because the vibe, the culture
was saying, it's time. Our culture here.

Speaker 1 (24:24):
Our therapy culture was telling was the time.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
So what was that conversation like, Given how your dad sounds,
I am sincerely curious how the conversation went with your
dad specifically or did you sit them both down together,
mom and dad? Just my dad, okay, just your dad.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
So I'll give you I'll give you, guys, the backstory.

Speaker 2 (24:40):
Okay, go off.

Speaker 1 (24:41):
Okay, here's a backstory. So and then, by the way,
hop in if you felt this way too, you were
coming up pre SNL gotcha.

Speaker 2 (24:49):
Okay, Okay.

Speaker 1 (24:50):
So I started doing comedy when I was eighteen, and
I didn't get hired at the Daily Shutel i was thirty.
So there was like a huge gap of years where
like I was not making any money, like W two,
W nine, life out here looking rough and and at
the time I had gotten into law school, I had

(25:10):
deferred my mission and then I had turned it down. Okay,
so I had kind of done like a long con
with my parents of like I'm telling you I'm not
doing this, no for real, I'm not doing this. Yes, okay,
now this is like straight up going in the trash.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
Like I told you all, you're my sister. Okay, keep going.
I'm my dad, I'm your dad, and like Prince, I
want to be your mother.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
And then you know how, like the crazy thing about
show business is that you go from absolute dire straits
to like, wow, I have health insurance now, and like
I can fly back and see friends or my parents
and I will not immediately go into crippling death. So
some years go by, I'm lucky enough to do pretty well,

(25:56):
and I was like, you know what, Like I put
my dad through so much they really did not understand
what I was doing. And so I was like, you
know what, like I'm gonna get my dad like a watch. Yeah,
and I'm gonna get like I'm gonna get my dad
like a car, and we're going to have this like
fresh Prince Family Matters moment where like TV Timba has
come back to like take mufass on a ride.

Speaker 2 (26:17):
I'm stressed because life isn't a movie, It's not a TV.
We want to believe it.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
I'm going to resolve this at three absolutely was it
works out for me. And then Act three I come
back and we have our whole like Goodwill hunting.

Speaker 2 (26:29):
Moment, reckoning.

Speaker 1 (26:30):
Yeah, we reconcile whatever. Okay, So, like I was saying before,
for the sake of the story, sure, I'm gonna say
I got my dad to watch my dad's favorite thing
to do. And again this is this is understanding the
difference between the scarcity generation and the dreams generation. We
are living dreams, our moms, our parents dreams. It's like
a manifestation of her wild. Yes, it's kind of great.

Speaker 2 (26:53):
It is insane. Yes, I was thinking that yesterday broadcast
television insane.

Speaker 1 (26:57):
Her coworkers text things and then you see Wodem.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
I flip out every once in a while when I
think about the fact that the name Wodem is on SNL,
the NW driving American people crazy. It's on SNL in
the credits. Yes, Chief Wodim's granddaughter on Saturday Night Life. Anyway,
go ahead.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
Totally and you're like on weekend up day and it's
getting like texted to her by a co work wild.
This is blowing her scarcity generation though. Yeah, so that
was a scarcity generation, and what are the dreams generation?
So you know, your mom tons of brothers and sisters,
my dad tons of brothers and sisters. I get him
this watch one of their greatest joys. You know how

(27:38):
you're like, I love a vacation.

Speaker 2 (27:39):
I've seen your Yeah, I too.

Speaker 1 (27:41):
I just I just went to and thank you so
much to this at hotel for taking care of me.
That's our generation, do you know what our like? My
dad's biggest flex is like going to Delhi seeing a
cousin of his or like a sibling, and he just
takes the watch and he just like puts it on
the rest.

Speaker 2 (27:59):
Oh, yes, it's to give it, to give me the
shirt off your back. It's you can have this. Yeah, yes,
it's a real thing.

Speaker 1 (28:04):
And I was like and then when I asked him
about the watch, was like, where's the watch? And he's like, oh,
I give it too. And I'm like, wait, let me
get this straight. Yeah, I bought you this like beautiful
talisman that was the culmination of I'm not at this
point sixteen years of like work, and you gave it

(28:24):
away to some uncle I don't even really know. It
was like it was so maddening. Anyways, I was like, oh,
I've talked about this in therapy. There is I should
I up front. And what you have to do is
you have to like tell people how you're feeling uh huh.
I'm so straight up at the Sacramento International Airport at
like baggage claim, you know. Oh no, I just spelled

(28:48):
it out. I didn't like yell, I didn't whatever. But
I was like, I did this and it made me
feel this way, and why would you do that? And
all I was trying to do was make your friend
uh huh. And then and then he's like my dad,
who's now at this time seventy two years old. Yeah,
he's just straight up in his like Kirkland signature khakis

(29:11):
and in his you know, zip up jacket with his
like delivery boy hat. I know exactly the look. Yeah,
you know book. And he's standing there at baggage claim
dropping me off to my United flight and I am unloading,
and then I just start he starts crying. Oh yeah,

(29:34):
I haven't seen this man cry since what like a
family member died, since the death in the family exactly.
And I felt this small. I felt so small, my god, yeah,
oh oh, And I was like, oh, everything that I'm reading,
everything on my f YP, the carousels I'm seeing about

(29:56):
confronting loved ones and setting your boundaries is.

Speaker 2 (29:59):
Actual Sally fucking stupid. Yeah, liked this.

Speaker 1 (30:03):
Man was born in early guard, India in nineteen fifty. Yeah,
he's come here, and I'm trying to talk to him
in cognitive behavioral therapy language about like a watch, I
got him. No, you meet him where he's at. This
is where he is. And then my boy Ronnie, Ronnie

(30:24):
Shang not trying to name drop, but Ronnie was like.

Speaker 2 (30:27):
Are you stupid?

Speaker 1 (30:30):
I understand all my friends that are Capital A American
are like, go off King. I'm like, yeah, Caleb, I'm
not talking to you. Donate to poor junk, Like, why
are we even from? Ronnie was like, you're going to
your dad for some vague mia culpa. He can't give
what are you doing? Yeah, just know like him not
mentioning comedy or disappointment or what you should do. That

(30:53):
in and of itself was the victory. He's not going
to Yeah you've it's a whole new world we live
in ego. He's not going to get.

Speaker 2 (31:01):
That's what I feel like. I have friends who argue
with their parents a lot, and they're like trying to
change their parents went and I'm like Capital A American
or any other culture or not. I'm like they grew
up in a different time. You know that there's a
thing we have neural pathways in our brains and we
and those pathways are formed over time, and the amount

(31:21):
of life they've led to the amount of life they've
led is so much that the ideas that they have,
they're they're kind of going to be their ideas and
it's going to take a lot of energy and a
lot of effort to change their mind, change their ways.
And if you want to have at it, I'm like, okay,
but just know it might be who have you to

(31:42):
meet them where they are. Frankly, you are wanting you
out of your parents, and that's just not going to happen.

Speaker 1 (31:48):
You grow up in a.

Speaker 2 (31:49):
Different cultural context. You just it's everything is different.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
And I'm you're much younger than you, but I'm not
that age. Why yes, Dad, I didn't get the I
didn't get the email. Yeah, subject line congratulations you're now
your parents parent. Yeah, it happens, I'm their parent.

Speaker 2 (32:08):
Yes, of course, what did you do when you see
You probably.

Speaker 1 (32:11):
Saw this with your mom and your older siblings where
they're like, mom, you're not doing this now.

Speaker 2 (32:15):
Because I think my mom started mad young with kids
and like shes old.

Speaker 1 (32:19):
Is your mama.

Speaker 2 (32:20):
My mom is sixty seven. She's sixty seven. I think
it's hurnting sixty seven in November. Yeah, but I'm like,
I didn't expect to become my mom's mom because my
mom was always my mom. But then yes, you're it
just it flips and you're like, oh, I need to
take care of you. That being said, what did you do?
When he cried? It was it like we have to

(32:40):
part ways anywhere there's a flight, like.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
Shout out to my mom. This is where just like
Indian mothers are incredible. Yeah, she basically pulled me to
the side and was like you do not get on
this flight, like you need to go over here and
talk to daddy. And then both me and him we
just cried it out like add baggage clam and I
hugged and I just said like, I'm really really sorry.

Speaker 2 (33:01):
You shouldn't have done that.

Speaker 1 (33:02):
Yeah the way you know how you did, motherfucker. And
then like fifty did.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
I do that? And you felt so empowered though in
the moment, I feel like you're like I'm doing the
thing they said I feel but that the yeah did
he was he able to articulate what he was feeling
in that moment and why he was crying. He goes,
if I did such.

Speaker 1 (33:20):
A bad job, then maybe, you know, maybe just a failure.
And I was Dad, Yeah, oh, I wish you spoke
in the I wish I feel like you could. Should
I would be thirty rock and we just be speaking
to each.

Speaker 2 (33:31):
Other and wish I'm down to learn dude, no person, No,
I would be happy to don't know any that I should.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
There's a guy that actually there was a guy that
was single for a long time, quite the catch, and
I was, yeah, you would you guys would have been great.

Speaker 2 (33:46):
I didn't.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
We didn't talk about it. All you could have arranged
that he would have been great.

Speaker 2 (33:50):
Is he married?

Speaker 1 (33:50):
He's not married, and there's still time. Yeah, I'm not
going to feel like I feel. And I feel like
you are a like successful, a very successful person, and
your bluetooth would be open to him.

Speaker 2 (34:04):
Oh wow, thanks Dad.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
Okay, so sorry, Well we were talking about my mom
ps aside and what he was she spoken about, So
basically I'll just say it and then i'll translate. Okay,
But he was basically like crying and he was just
like or is in the GiMA what more would you
have liked in life? And I felt this big because
like you know how like in everything everywhere all at once.

(34:26):
It's that scene where it's like you just see like
all the iPhone memories of your life. And I was like, oh,
they straight up gave me everything I ever need.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
You didn't need anything everything I ever need. But sometimes
what you want is literally not what you need.

Speaker 1 (34:41):
It like all flash in front of my eyes, just
like it's like it was like braceist come and then
it was just like, oh, you let me do something,
and then you got me the Jordan thirteen's for and
then you and then oh you gave me the camera
is when I need a car and it was like everything.
I was like, oh, you like gave me everything I
ever needed. Yeah, you let me like pursue this yeah

(35:04):
with like no results for like thirteen years.

Speaker 2 (35:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:07):
You let me marry my beautiful wife. You let me
do all these things where I have seen so many
immigrant parents just will say absolutely medal, they're exact metal industry.

Speaker 2 (35:16):
Oh yes, I've seen it too. That's the thing that I've.

Speaker 1 (35:18):
Seen of older Nigerian cousins that are you're obviously but
are like in their like late forties and fifties.

Speaker 2 (35:23):
I don't. I don't not like not not blood like.

Speaker 1 (35:26):
The generation that's older than us.

Speaker 2 (35:27):
Yeah, they are fucked yeah yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
Like when they like graduated at high school in like
ninety one ninety two. They look at you, Ego, there
is another like doctor Wodem at some Kaiser Permanente and
like Redwood City like that sees you in their YouTube algorithm.
That's like I could have been on weekend.

Speaker 2 (35:45):
Updates then that's and they're just straight up.

Speaker 1 (35:48):
A dentist in Walnut Creek and they're like, what the fuck.

Speaker 2 (35:52):
I feel very fortunate to have gotten to do what
I do.

Speaker 1 (35:55):
Oh not only get to do, but where we exist
in time.

Speaker 2 (35:59):
I go absolutely absolutely. Even when you said the braces,
I was like, I called my mom like two years ago,
and I was like, hey, thanks for getting me braces,
because I also know that that was not insurance wasn't
covering that back then, and it wasn't a like necessity.
That was like kind of a luxury to have them
chains on my teeth.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
Like it was really there were like these little moments
where I was like I remember sometimes they'd like pick
me up like late or something. They'd have to go
to work and we'd go to like Taco Bell or
McDonald's and they wouldn't order anything, but they would just
watch me and my sister eat.

Speaker 2 (36:31):
Yeah, because it did They not like Taco Bell McDonalds. Oh,
it was just like we can't afford.

Speaker 1 (36:36):
No, we just want to watch you eat.

Speaker 2 (36:38):
And it's satisfying to see you bea.

Speaker 1 (36:40):
Watch Why would we, like, you know, our income is fixed, yes,
like are we really going to get four extra value
meals like all eat dalchowel at home? But like let
them like goe a six piece chicken McNugget.

Speaker 2 (36:52):
But that moment sounds pivotal in the airport.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
Yeah, it was a pivotal moment. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:58):
And at that point you had kids, you had kids. Yeah,
I can only imagine I mean, I can only imagine
you also maybe were like, oh shit, I'm someone's dad now,
and I don't I don't want to have this experience
with them. Yeah. I can only imagine you thinking like, oh,

(37:18):
my goodness, if I read my dad's shoes, how much
this would feel like utter shit?

Speaker 1 (37:21):
Yeah, And it was like the arrogance of me. Yeah,
they were making the best with the variables they were
given at that period of time.

Speaker 2 (37:28):
Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean, I absolutely do.

Speaker 1 (37:31):
And so like, for sure, for sure, I go, you
and I are making mistakes that our children are going
to be like, wait what, Yes, you posted where you
went on vacation on Instagram stories.

Speaker 2 (37:42):
You created a whole paper trail. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yeah, Like that's just dumb etched an amber and the
blockchain forever that I'm going to have to answer for. Yeah,
and I'll be like, like, you have no idea, and
they're like, that's the dumbest thing.

Speaker 2 (37:58):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (37:59):
So like what I'm trying, what I'm basically trying to
say is we're probably making mistakes right now that they
will look back on and be like, yeah, how did
you so you guys would just drink out of Disney bottles? Yes,
knowing that the water tastes like plastic, And it was
killing important thing.

Speaker 2 (38:10):
About understanding cultural context in the time. People are yes,
we are existing in this time, but before this time,
there was another time. And it sounds very rudimentary.

Speaker 1 (38:19):
I don't want to sound Kamla Hairs. Right now we're talking,
we're doing the coconutry. Don't do don't do you.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
Just fell out of a coke.

Speaker 1 (38:25):
Yeah, it was just okay, it's just great people based
on Yeah, the software update of where they're they were at. Yeah, yeah,
they're run running MS DOS. Yeah we're one version eight
point one point six point we're running a whole other thing.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
I love this software update metaphor, knowing that there's going
to be several more software updates as time goes on.
Your kids are going to be older, become way more
aware of themselves, of the time of the your bullshit
frankly and things you've done that that they're going to
look at and go, that's fucking that's crazy. What do

(39:05):
you want to instill in them though, that do you
think will carry them regardless of the changes in cultural contexts?

Speaker 1 (39:11):
Okay, So I was thinking about this. I was talking
to like my wife about this, and we were just like, Okay,
the thing that we could probably because my wife is
Indian as well, I was like, we just don't need
to have fear and panic and scarcity be the driver

(39:31):
for like why you do something. So I think that's
a positive. But the one thing that we want to
like still instill in them is that you do owe
something to other people. MM.

Speaker 2 (39:46):
Hmmm, like there is Hey.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
If your mom texts you, like, text your mom back,
like you owe her that. Yeah, like you you're not
my property, but we are a family. Like, come on,
you guys, we got to be here for each other. Yeah,
I don't know, Like I'm I'm really We've had a
lot of conversations about this where we're like, so, if

(40:10):
like fear, panic and anxiety doesn't get you to like
work for something, I'm like, what are other emotions in
tools you can use to like go.

Speaker 2 (40:21):
After Yeah, I mean it seems like I'm hearing you
be like consideration is really important. It sounds like even
when you say you do oh some you do oh
people things, if your mom texts you text her back,
there's a level of respect and reciprocity that you're trying
to instill as well. Now are there things you're doing now?

(40:45):
We've already talked about the software update, But are there
things you are aware of right now that you've gone
I fucked this. I have fucked this up as a dad,
as a parent. I think I think that was wrong.
How I handle them I.

Speaker 1 (41:00):
Don't I don't have the answer to that yet. I
just know I'm just I've done. I have chosen to
not do the things that I knew I didn't like.
So like my kids, I do not yell at my kids,
like I don't use yelling as a way to get
what I want. Obviously, like the era we grew up in,

(41:22):
you could spank your kid like I had never my kids.
That was like a thing.

Speaker 2 (41:26):
Yeah, it was, it was. It was a thing.

Speaker 1 (41:29):
People.

Speaker 2 (41:30):
It's like, I'm going to give you something to cry about.
I wasn't spanked by my mom as a kid. Other
relatives might be have did spank me, but I was
not spanked by my mom. Didn't believe in it. And
someone was like, yeah, and it shows. Do I've seem
like I wasn't spanked as a kid. Do I give?
I wasn't spanked energy.

Speaker 1 (41:49):
We didn't hung out enough.

Speaker 2 (41:51):
Yeah, I'm a pretty well behaved person.

Speaker 1 (41:55):
I will say this, though. There is something like like
that is like so fascinating about why watching daughters fight
with their mom. It's nuts. When I see my mom
and my sister go off on each other and then
I see Bena and my daughter, I'm like, what is
what's going on?

Speaker 2 (42:12):
It's like, well, we're using our words different wi fi.

Speaker 1 (42:16):
I'm like, this is why when the barbs that are
being exchanged are.

Speaker 2 (42:22):
Like, yeah, it can get it can get really intense
mother and daughter. It really can. But I think it's
because women tend to be better at communication. I'm not
saying what's happening is necessarily healthy, but there's probably just
words are flying, women are women be shopping? Women also
be speaking, women be speaking, and women be using their words.

Speaker 1 (42:45):
I'm here, I'm I'm here to listen, hear.

Speaker 2 (42:49):
I feel like if you use that that phrase, I'm
here to listen. You can never really get in trouble
except when a woman's like say something, though. You can't
just oh that I dated someone who used to be
like it's really interesting.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
And I go, oh, that's whack.

Speaker 2 (43:05):
That's whack. I'd like, do not do that. You need
to say something. I'm telling you off and I need
you to say something besides, that's really interesting to hear that. No,
I hate, but I hear that, and I know you
hear it. Say something motherfucker, and I called you a motherfucker.
I got stop calling people motherfuckers. Maybe if it's a
term of endearment, this is can you say one more
thing to go off. I was like negative self talk. Okay,

(43:29):
this was like.

Speaker 1 (43:30):
There is this weird thing that you've known this like
you're writing a script. It's like it's it's before rehearsal
or whatever, and you're like, da da da da. I
can't do this. I'm fucking an idiot, right And there's
people that look at me like what are you talking about? Bro?
Like you're you're smart, and I'm like, I know, I'm
just a fucking moro on right now, and they're like
why are you talking this way? Like, yeah, you're not

(43:51):
a moron? Yeah, why would you say that? So, like
I definitely big up them, And I'm like, you know,
you could do that too. I can basically do what
have you seen on Sanders' Instagram?

Speaker 2 (44:01):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (44:01):
Yeah, I could just be like the way he is
with his kids. Yeah, just like you know, God made
you in his image.

Speaker 2 (44:06):
Yes, you are, talk to me wonderfully and fearfully. You
have a measure of God.

Speaker 1 (44:12):
Yeah. I'm like that's a choice too, And and so
you do that with your kids. I tell my daughter
she's beautiful all the time.

Speaker 2 (44:19):
It's come to my attention that it's important for dads
to tell their daughters they're beautiful, and it's like, have
you heard this whole idea that it's like a dad
and his daughter. The first experience a daughter has with
a man is with her father, and if he's like
telling her she's beautiful and all the things, she'll really
go into the world believing that I didn't have that.
But I still think I'm beautiful and I'm talking inside.

(44:39):
I mean, you are stunning, Thank you so much, But
I'm like, I feel I asked Michael Jay the other
day if I seem like a girl who doesn't have
a dad, and he was like, no, I didn't know,
and I'm like, exactly, but then he goes, but actually
his first response was like, what does a girl who
doesn't have a dad seem like? And I go, you know,
you know, Hussin, don't look at me your way stop

(45:01):
it here. I'm here, I'm here to listen.

Speaker 1 (45:04):
I'm here to know what's going to happen. I think
that you're twenty forty six is going to be like
you really would just have full on conversations like this
with a laugh mic, like you're like the wa okay,
so y'all would just all hang out with each other
like it was the Watergate scandal, and then publish it
for the.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
World to awesome credit to his son and to his daughter.
I just want to say, look at your dad and
caught Dodge Dodge. I know, but look at your dad
learned from his experiences and dodge dodge the bullets. It
wasn't a setup. This is not a salacious podcast. But
I appreciate and respect your ability in this moment to go,

(45:40):
oh see, my kids are going to look back and
go seriously, you said it in the mic, and you
said that into a mic. Very good. I like that.
Do you want your kids to think you're cool? Does
that matter?

Speaker 1 (45:49):
They know I'm cool?

Speaker 2 (45:50):
Oh? They know? Look at it, and so your dad
is like that you're cool?

Speaker 1 (45:55):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah do they do you think they to
their friends about you? They don't do they They don't
fragtify friends but to their friends, but like their friends
will like their friends will be like I saw your
dad on Netflix. I saw him. That's pretty It's super cool.

Speaker 2 (46:18):
Yeah, that's so cool. Yeah that is very cool. Way, Well,
you say you don't want them to be scared of you.
You don't want to still use fear and panic. You're
trying to use more positive emotions and that makes total
sense to me. Do you want them to feel like
you're a friend they could confide in? Does that matter
to you?

Speaker 1 (46:36):
They already gone, they already tell me everything I need
to know.

Speaker 2 (46:39):
And when you say everything I need to know, do
you feel like they're withholding some but you you can deduce.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
It's interesting my dad, h I would sometimes lie to
him about what I'm doing and he's like, you are
lying to me, and he'd.

Speaker 2 (46:52):
Say it to you in real time, and you go, no, no, no, no,
not not the bedroom ees to your dad me or
what You'd rub your hand together, Yeah I'm.

Speaker 1 (47:01):
Not, I'm not. And then you'd be like, you're you're lying,
you are lying, and he would checkmate me. And now
that I have a son, I'm like, yeah, bro, I
know I know what your school samples look like daily,
Like intimately, I know y'all, Like I know all their
little insecurities and their isms and all that stuff. You

(47:24):
just it's the way you knew your siblings. You're like,
you know what's going on.

Speaker 2 (47:27):
Okay, yeah, okay, But when, by the way, you say
you know their insecurities. Do you, as a dad feel
any responsibility to try to upend those insecurities and flip
them and reverse them into securities, you know what I mean?
Because I feel like they're like you and your sister.

Speaker 1 (47:43):
You guys are just different. You're different, and you guys
grew up and you know this, Like there's four of
you guys, right, yeah, y'all are It's crazy how different?
And you're like, how do we share the same kinetic code?
But basically the way you have to be spoken to
is very different than like your brother or your other sister. Correct,
And it's just that. It was like, Okay, I know

(48:06):
how to get my daughter on this plane. Okay, as
we fly to California, I'm gonna have to use a
different set of like hostage negotiation tactics with my son.
It's just different.

Speaker 2 (48:17):
It's just that.

Speaker 1 (48:18):
And so I'm like, I'm again, I'm gonna just meet
you where you're at and try to like be the
best parent to your person out.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (48:28):
The thing that I grew up with, I don't know
if you grew up with this, which is like my
parents would compare me to other kids and they would
name that ship. No, I why can't you be like.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
Oh, I mean a lot of I will say the immigrant.

Speaker 1 (48:42):
So we so got into blah blah blah. I need you,
I need you to do that. Run that for me, right,
she'd be like, he got into Stanford. Run that's that's that,
that's that property. You know what to do? The family name,
they would do wild. I mean I'm talking about like
the Wall Street Journal. Be like Mark Zuckerberg takes Facebook
public and blah blah blah. He's like he went to

(49:02):
college in two thousand and four. What's going on?

Speaker 2 (49:04):
Yeah, what's up? And you're like it's like, bro, yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:08):
Okay, yeah, it's that type of stuff of like hey, whoa.
He seems like you guys the same agent.

Speaker 2 (49:13):
So you're not doing anything you didn't like as a kid.
So you're not doing that to your kids. Do you
think your expectations for them are high? Though?

Speaker 1 (49:21):
My the with where me and my wife are high,
were like, come on, I just need you to do
your best. I need you to do your best, okay,
and I know when you're like slacking off?

Speaker 2 (49:30):
Okay, are you a disciplinarian?

Speaker 1 (49:31):
Though? Now my wife is my wife?

Speaker 2 (49:33):
You passed it off to peanut, Yeah, that's messed up.
You don't care, No, I hear that.

Speaker 1 (49:39):
No, I hear what you're saying. So look, I would
just say the way like I am a grizzly bear
to them, they're very small.

Speaker 2 (49:49):
I'm six feet tall as opposed to a teddy.

Speaker 1 (49:51):
Bear gri My wife is five feet tall.

Speaker 2 (49:54):
Okay, so just like again your wife, my.

Speaker 1 (49:58):
Mom, Yeah, the yes, Like I remember growing up my
dad is a was a giant, and just keeping that
in mind.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
I see what you're just saying.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
Huge, I'm like fuzzy, you know what I mean. I'm
talking around in like a Haines tank top.

Speaker 2 (50:18):
I'm gigantic, right yeah, So okay, I see what you're doing.
Do you think that's also just kind of convenient for
you in a sense, Like I'm big, so I can
say I'm big and I don't have to do the discipline.
So like if you were five to seven, uh huh,
not that, I mean, that's a little that's not it's short. Yeah,
it's short. I was trying to be pullite. It's short

(50:38):
for me. Okay, So if you're five to seven venus
five feet, if you're five seven, do you think you
would be a disciplinary It's not just or is that
not your bag?

Speaker 1 (50:46):
Maybe? Maybe it would be like, I'm less scary.

Speaker 2 (50:48):
Okay, but your mind, well they got a little Napoleon
syndrome going on, and you gotta you gotta exert yourself
and yeah, any rabbit exactly. Okay, No, okay, listen, this
has been amazing. I need to tell you, as my
dad for the day, the reason I brought you on
is and it's not just only the reason I brought
you on. It's part of the reason I brought you on.

(51:09):
But part of your responsibility is my dad for the
day is to give me a piece of advice. So
I'm going to tell you something going on in my life,
and I'm going to get advice from you on it. Okay.
So I've been riding in Ubers in the city, Dad,
I've been riding in ubers in the city. And I
used to drive in La. I had a car. I

(51:30):
lived in la for twelve years. I knew how to like,
I knew how to shave like five minutes off the
ETA according to ways. I'm in a rush and I'm
kind of from time to time like, oh, can you
maybe get us out of this lane? And I'm like, girl,
don't be a backseat driver. Don't be a backstreet driver.
Should I get a car in New York City? Or
is that insane?

Speaker 1 (51:50):
And get a car New York City?

Speaker 2 (51:52):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (51:52):
Can I give you like four things right now?

Speaker 2 (51:54):
Tell me right now?

Speaker 1 (51:54):
For so, I was thinking about it to the podcast
because I want you. I want you to be like
very successful.

Speaker 2 (51:58):
Okay, thank you, get me for thanks.

Speaker 1 (52:00):
And I want to minimize it, make it super short.

Speaker 2 (52:02):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (52:02):
Do you have your money in a Vanguard account?

Speaker 2 (52:04):
What is that?

Speaker 1 (52:06):
Okay? Oh whatever extra money you're making okay, okay, for
mister throwback and all that stuff and other things, I
need you to go to Vanguard Vanguard okay, and need
to buy VTSA X. I'm writing it, which is which
is like the S and P five hundred. I need
you to put money into.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
Saying so many letters. It's going to be on record.
I have to listen back. I was going to take no.

Speaker 1 (52:25):
Time, and you to just set it aside. Do not
listen to your agents, manager or accountant that's going to
try to hook you up with other people. Okay, and
you can put that aside.

Speaker 2 (52:35):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (52:36):
And every ten years the rate of return for the
S and P five hundred of the past one hundreds plus years.
This isn't crazy advice, is it not. I'm not telling
you to buy crypto. No, no, no, it will double
every ten years. But in twenty years, yes, it'll like
you will see the value of exponential return. Okay, thirty
years okay, so like after this whole industry betrays us,
and which it will, and I will be here as

(52:57):
your father.

Speaker 2 (52:57):
I get.

Speaker 1 (52:58):
Oh my god, but none of that ship on the
call sheet is real. Okay, I'm realer than the sag
after a fund. Okay, but that VTSAX that you've held
for twenty to thirty years, I'm being dead.

Speaker 2 (53:10):
I know, seriously feel it, and I'm my whole body
will change.

Speaker 1 (53:13):
It is going to change your life. It'll allow you
to retire with dignity, and thirty years from now, you
will not be doing cameos for people's birthday parties. Okay,
I am. This is how much I love and care
about you as my child. Dad.

Speaker 2 (53:25):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (53:26):
This is real than anything you've gotten in your career.

Speaker 2 (53:29):
This is why you need a dad America? Or is
this the global podcast? This is why you need a dad? People?

Speaker 1 (53:37):
Yeah? Do you already know this? Other one? But I've
told you this is the second one that I was
going to tell you the cause of dad of advice. Please,
but you already know that.

Speaker 2 (53:42):
Tell me, tell me that's Spanish, tell me in Nindi much.
I'm working, but.

Speaker 1 (53:52):
I'll give you one in India that's really quick if
you just do use it all the time when we
go to India our trip, Okay, on our trip, Cello,
let's go, let's go, let's go.

Speaker 2 (54:01):
That's what I mean.

Speaker 1 (54:01):
Let's so if you're like in a cab or whatever
in my in.

Speaker 2 (54:06):
My family's language, let's go. Is manga okay, yeah, manga, yeah,
something like that. It's a little different.

Speaker 1 (54:13):
Okay, wait, wait, so one you want to know this.
You have a ton of confidence. But you are You
have the whole thing and the side of the potato
chips the way you are right now.

Speaker 2 (54:22):
Thank you so much, dad, Thank you, thank you. It's
important for you to hear your dad say this to you.
And I never had this. You're healing me right now.

Speaker 1 (54:33):
Thank you. You're him, Yeah, I'm him, You're.

Speaker 2 (54:36):
I'm her, I'm her me, I'm her.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
Okay, but you already knew that. You already knew that. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
but this is the thing.

Speaker 2 (54:46):
The reason I already knew that. It's part of why
I say I don't seem like a fatherless gal.

Speaker 1 (54:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (54:51):
Part of it is because I know I'm her, but
also I need sometimes I do need a dad to
affirm me. So thank you for affirming and reminding me,
just in case, because you know there's a threats to
that confidence. You know, people trying to poke holes here
and there.

Speaker 1 (55:04):
You know, people trying to see you when you're number
one on the costume and you're like, I am number one.

Speaker 2 (55:09):
I go to the a d I'm like, oh, I
feel like there's a mistake. Okay, that was too. Thank
you so much, hold it for life? And then what
else is that? Just was it for? Don't buy a
car anything else. You don't have to have more because
ending with I'm her.

Speaker 1 (55:27):
Is is the business. You stay prayed up a smart mon.

Speaker 2 (55:33):
Totally. Yeah, I'm a stay I stay prayed up. I
pray every morning and sometimes throughout the day, sometimes that
night as well. Yeah, are you proud of me?

Speaker 1 (55:41):
Dad? I'm super proud of you, you know, and you know,
as a Muslim family we pray five times a day.
I know you're doing your best. I'm doing my best.

Speaker 2 (55:48):
You're not God. You can't judge me. He made me,
She made me. They made me perfectly in their and
and I'm trying my best and and gracious as.

Speaker 1 (56:00):
You've gotten older. Yes, it's not even for God. It's
for you, friend.

Speaker 2 (56:04):
That's facts.

Speaker 1 (56:05):
There you go, that's facts.

Speaker 2 (56:07):
And the MIC's dropped on that note. And my dad
for the day has been Hassan Minhaj And I'm so
happy about it.

Speaker 1 (56:13):
I'm her. I'm gonna thank you guys, Thanks so yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:19):
Thankstad is a headgum podcast created and hosted by me
Aga Wodhem. The show is produced and edited by Anita
Flores and engineered by Anita Flores and Anya Kanevskaya, with
executive producer Emma Foley. Katie Moose is our VP of
Content at Headgum. Special thanks to Jason Atheni for our
show art and Faris Manshi for our theme song. From
your podcast by Headgum, visit headgum dot com or wherever

(56:43):
you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review
on Apple Podcasts, and maybe, just maybe we'll read it
on a future episode.