September 30, 2024 • 59 mins
Mikey Day (Saturday Night Live, Is It Cake?) joins Ego as her dad for the day to discuss his father’s love of The Big Bang Theory, the importance of spending quality time with his son, and what Ego’s future child might be like. Later on, Mikey offers Ego advice on how to not be taken advantage of at a car dealership.
Guest: Mikey Day
Subscribe and Rate Thanks Dad on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review to read on a future episode!
Follow Ego on Instagram and Twitter.
Follow Headgum on Instagram.
- Advertise on Thanks Dad via gumball.fm
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is a Headgun podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mikey, you said that you didn't know my dad was
in the picture. You didn't know, you didn't. Excuse me,
you said you didn't What did you say?
Speaker 1 (00:21):
I didn't know your dad wasn't in the picture?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Is it because I seemed like a girl with a dad, right?
I think? I think I think I seemed like a
girl with a dad.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
But also when you would talk about your family kind
of wanting you to be a doctor, and I thought
you were including your father.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
No part of them. No, No, I mean I'm sure
he wanted me to be a doctor too, though, right,
I'm sure sure he was a doctor.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Do you have a stepfather? No?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
No stepfather, No stepfather. I do not have a dad
in the picture. And I really you know, people like
girls without dads. It's were labeled girls with daddy issues, right,
But you.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Never struck me as someone who does not have a
father or didn't grow up with a father.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Because of the doctor thing? And is there anything else?
Because this is this is fascinating to me, truly, because
I know I'm not naturally, I know I'm really funny naturally,
but this is a thing that is fascinating to me.
Because I think that I have suspected I've never confirmed
it when way or the other, and you just said it.
(01:28):
I've suspected that most people don't assume my dad's not
in the picture, which perhaps is a strange assumption anyway,
But I don't think anything about my personality lends itself
to that, as I'm.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Successful put together.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
I mean, I don't know what quote unquote daddy issues
might manifest themselves as. But I don't know. You just
didn't strike me as someone. I mean, you didn't. You
haven't obviously brought it up a lot. But now I
feel like a bad friend because I wasn't aware that would.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
You have treated me differently if you knew you didn't
have a dad a lot different.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I wouldn't talk to you. But I mean, you haven't
necessarily brought it up. But I feel like I know
you fairly well.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
I think I feel like you know me. I don't
think you know me pretty well. There's layers because mystery.
I've got a lot of secrets. Mister Day.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I guess when we talk we talk what we talked
about your relationship in terms of personal stuff?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yes, and what were your thoughts and takeaway there.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
You you don't deserve to put up with any bullshit.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Thank you, Mikey Day. You heard it from Mikey Day. Guys,
don't fantastic lady think Mikey's so sweet.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
He's smart and smart. I was going to say smart intelligent.
Those are the same word intelligent both. You're obviously so funny.
Thank you, Mike gorgeous.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Oh my god, I brought Mikey onto this gas independent woman.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
You do not need to put up with any bullshit.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
No more, no more, no, thank you, Mike.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
No more bullshit from a man.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I appreciate that, because you know what, Mikey, I fuck
with you. Thank you for saying that. Okay, Hi, guys,
I may go wode him and welcome to thank dad.
Mikey is miming clapping for me. We love that. Hey,
I was raised by a single mom, and I don't
have a relationship with my dad, and in fact, the
(03:34):
guy's dead now. So on this podcast, I'm sitting down
with father figures. He giggles at the notion that he'd
be counted a father figure. Father figures, who you think
it's funny that your dad just how that happen? How
that happened one fun night and now I'm a dad. Okay,
father figures who are old enough to be my dad?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Who?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Or are just dads themselves. I'm going to get to
the questions I've always wanted to ask a dad, like
how do I know if the person I'm dating is
the one? How do I change my oil? Dad?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Oh? No?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
So My next guest is the host of Netflix's hit
show is It Cake Hit? It's a hit? Come on,
you know it's a hit. Don't pretend to be humble.
You know it's a hit.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I love it and can be seen on Saturday Night.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Live alongside star Mike.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Mikey is the most generous, though he's never given me money,
only compliments. Please welcome my dad for the Day, Mikey
Day for the Day, Mikey Day, My dad for the day, Mikey.
Emma has gone ahead and turned the volume down, so
it's to suggest we are yelling.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Oh I'm sorry because I.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Just I got excited personally about the like Mikey Day,
Dad for the day, and I'm put it together. Your
brain works fast. What's the So if you're my dad
for the day and your name is Mikey Day, do
it for the day, Mikey, dad for the day. Yeah, no, Mikey,
dad for the day. Correct, that's that's mathematics. Okay, Mikey.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Hi, I'm so excited to be here.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I'm so happy you're the host of a podcast. I'm
the host. Can you believe someone let me have a microphone.
They let me have a microphone? Women talking?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
I can't believe women? What's next?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Reading opinions, Mikey. I'm so happy you're here.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Thank you for having me. I'm so glad, so much so,
I will do anything.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I'm I really, it means a lot to me.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I'm a big a supporter. I will support you.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
I feel it. I feel it in my bones. You're
the very best Mikey. You know, we talk about a
lot of things at work. We have a lot of
downtime between takes and rehearsals and blocking.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Right, we'll get real every once in a while.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
And after table read, Yeah, table reading the long window
between ending of table read and when they pick all.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
The sketches to meet Do you feel particularly emotionally vulnerable
after table because I feel like table read is such
an emotion, Like I think Tuesday to Wednesday at work
at Saturday Night Live is such an emotional like it's
so emotionally taxing.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Right where you can either have great success or miserable failure,
and it's up and down, so.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Up and down, and it's never just kind of like neutral.
It just I can't name a night on a Wednesday
where I felt just neutrallly like okay, okay, we'll see
never not once, And so then we do get real
on Wednesdays. It's like it's a good time to stop
being fake and start getting.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Real, to find out what happens when I don't know
if I'm emotionally vulnerable simply because I've been there for
a while and just have bond so hard at table
read to like complete silence.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
You've probably been there for some like complete silence, so
you get used to it.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
YEA.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Mostly just kind of tired after the marathon and then
Tuesday to Wednesday.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
And Heidi come into your room and just dump on
you on decorated dress dressing room is hideous, but it
used to be has to be my and Heidi's dressing room.
My first season, I shared the little space, but that's
how we got close. We could have hated each other,
loved each other. There's no in between in that little space.
And I loved her.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
I loved it. Life we are.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
That's my my damn girl. Mikey. When did you get
hired at sn L? I know I should know all
these fun facts about you.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
It was twenty thirteen to twenty fourteen that season, hired
as a writer. Okay, I remember Miley Cyrus was like
an early host that season of my first season. I
think that's when I remember she was like twirking at
the vmaut.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
The tongue is out.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
All that period.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yeah, she's like, I'm not a Disney little girl anymore.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Yeah, just to give the historical context.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
I'm a woman who likes to shake my yeah exactly. Yeah, yeah,
I remember that that season. Was hired as a writer,
So that was a while ago. Were your parents proud
or did they next care? Okay, my mom, it's very funny.
It was like, do you think maybe you'll be on
(08:19):
camera at some point? Very curious, which is very cute.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
But as you know, when you write at ESNL, it's
so creatively fulfilling. You're in charge of your piece. You're
just kind of writing at a table and sending it out.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Oh yeah, you become a producer.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah, for better or for worse, Right, you get to
if it goes well, you get to enjoy all the credit,
and if it goes bad, you get all the credit. Yeah,
but so, but yes, they were obviously obviously very very proud.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Now when your mom asked you about like, okay, do
you think there's any chance you could end up on camera?
Was that an annoying question to you at the time, because.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
I'm sure you'd like a little that I'd like to
be Yeah, it's still amazing to.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Just be congrats. Yeah, can it just be like congrats?
I'm so proud of you, you know.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
I mean there was that I would just be like,
I don't know. I mean, I wasn't like gunning to
be on camera because being a writer there is obviously
it's just so much fun.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
And yeah, so okay, So when you came to the
show the first season, did your parents ever come to
the show?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
My dad? My dad has passed away last year.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Yes, I'm sorry, how dare you? It was my fault?
I did it. I did it.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
I know, I did some research and it was all
your fault, which was odd.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Ultimately, Aros went back to me, that's a podcast about that. Okay,
your dad did pass Also, by the way, I saw
you after your dad passed, I did is it cake?
That last summer twenty three? Yeah, I did it. I
did it in August. And it was like, you're such
a consummate professional because I guess or emotionally detached, because
(09:58):
you did no signs.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
You're either a sociopath or a professional.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
And I can't quite discern because I was like, we talked,
we got back to es and l in the fall,
late fall. We're talking, I think like December or something.
You're like, yeah, my dad passed away, or maybe it
was January of twenty twenty four, but you were like, yeah,
my dad passed away last year. And I'm like, you
didn't ever say a word.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
I'm cutting a cookie jar that made out of cake and.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Just what the cake goes dark?
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Yeah it happened. Yeah, it was last summer.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
And so he had been he didn't really want to fly,
he was traveling, was getting a little more difficult, and
so he never made it out. But my mom has okay,
and she's done the Mother's Day Show.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
If you yes, I met her. She's sweet as pie
as your mother is. Thank you. Absolutely. All the moms
are so cute going to tack room where they wait,
I'm like, God, I love them so much. They're all
so sweet. I want to I was about to be like,
I'm obsessed with this person's mom and this person and
I'm like, I won't even bother because it's everybody, because yeah,
(11:13):
everyone has such a sweet mom.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
And then some moms. You're like, that looks like Chloe
in a couple of decades.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Right right, like carbon copy.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Yeah, it's wild.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Okay, your dad wasn't able to make it out. Did
that I ever feel disappointing to you? Did you kind
of want him to come out? I know it was
a matter of health and ability at.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
That time, I mean a little bit, but I know
he watched and was proud and you know, got to
see that part of my life.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
So I was never like, come on, dad, So I
was never like super bummed out about it because I
got it. But my dad was funny because he his
like favorite show was like The Big Bang Theory.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
He loves the sitcom.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
And I tell you what, Michael, there's no way, no
way Sheldon can memorize all those lines. He's got to
be making it up on the spot because he goes
on like long scientific rants. I'm like, I think they
have a writing staff. I don't think they just show
up and make up a story on the spot. And
(12:22):
he goes, I don't know. And then I remember hearing Lauren.
Lauren in an interview at one point said like, if
it's done well, people just think you'll be making it up.
I'm like, that was my dad.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
That's like, my dad thought you were speaking up right?
Who thought someone was making it up as they went
because it was so good.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
I was like, Dad, they have a writing staff.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Writer.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I mean maybe improv sometimes, but.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
I mean.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
I don't know, but they're just so long and it's
a lot of science stuff on memorize.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
He had to audition. Sheldon had to audition and proved
that he could carry that kind.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Of memorize that.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Wait, so you said you knew he was proud. Was
he the kind of dad who would articulate like, I'm
proud of you, son, I imagine, like out of a movie.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yeah, yeah, oh that's great, that's fantastic. He was very
soft spoken kind yeah, but he would be effusive with
oh that's great, not necessarily overly effusive, but he wasn't
like the type of dad that would never say he's
proud of you and you're constantly striving for give me
(13:34):
approval of dad. Yeah, and he was very supportive, Like
after college when I wanted, obviously to support the career
we are in, which is to some parents, he was
very supportive. Obviously, as you've talked about this career, some
parents aren't necessarily totally in your corner too. But he
(13:58):
there's a sketch comedy group in Los Angeles, the Groundlings.
It's improve and Sketch, which I studied at and then
performed at for years and definitely credit that place with
being able to write. And I don't know, I give
that place all the credit. It's fantastic training. So your
(14:18):
dad was supportive, Yeah, he was. He was like, I'll
pay for your grounds when you okay, when did you study?
What did you study in college? I studied theater, which
is a whole.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Other was he also supportive of that when that's what
I want to Absolutely when he.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Was never like don't don't pursue your dreams, which I
feel like is a blessing and I'm very very lucky
to have had that.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
So you've and was he a person who did ever
sit you down and be like you can do anything
you want to do, like or was that mean?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
It was never like an explicit kind of chat like that,
but it was like, I think there's groundlings, looks looks
really great, and I'll pay well, anytime you want to
take a class there, I'll pay for Oh wow, So
that was I feel like I was blessed to have that, Yeah,
because you know, a lot of people obviously don't have
(15:09):
the support of their parents. So he was fantastic in
that regard and support it all because I you know,
I'm sure you did some low rent in the beginning
of your career, like I'm doing Community Theater of Noises
off in Granada Hills. Absolutely, Oh I love that theater.
(15:32):
By the way, Yes, going However, you know they're driving
out two and a half hours in traffic from Orange County.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
And they would come see you at that. Your parents
would come see your shows amazing, so.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
I had their support. I obviously went through times where
I was like, can I borrow all my rent money
from you guys for the next six months? And I
remember I got my car booted like twice yeah, in
La that does and the like they build it ultimately.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Did you feel like your dad saw something in you
at a young age that was like he's got a
performer's bug, So I'm going to support that or do
you think no matter what you had chosen to do?
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Interesting? Yeah, I think any kind of career choice he
would have been supportive of. Maybe not like professional athlete, gone,
are we sure how this or not that athletically gifted
at what you've chosen to pursue, right, But I really
think it would have been supportive, Okay, whatever path I
(16:38):
had chosen.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Was he funny?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
He was pretty like sauce spoken, but every once in
a while he would be when he was comfortable, he
could be goofy. He was a goof but he like
introduced me to the Muppets, like when I was two
years old, would like bring me down and he saw
God bless this man's soul. He took me to any movie.
(17:03):
We always go to a matinee like after work. Yeah,
he'd take me to see so many movies because movies
obviously growing up, like we just had the movie theater
is yeah, you can just wait a week and then
it would be on TV. And he took me to
some bad movies man, because I'm like, I want to
see that. I wanted to see everything.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
And he would always be like, yes, yeah, And what
did he do for work.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
That he was doing as a general contractor, which I
still don't understand.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
He built? He built?
Speaker 1 (17:35):
It was like for petroleums, like gas stations. Okay, so
it would be like Mobile wants to build a gas
station here right, His firm would be like, we can
build this thing, put in the underground piping for this
much money, like put in a bid, and then they
would be like, okay, we're going with this firm, and
(17:56):
then his firm would oversee the construction of the gas
station hopefully. I described that. Okay, does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I believe it, but very nice. I certainly not an artistic,
not artistic job. Do you think he was passionate about
his job.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
I think so. I know at one point he like
with his partner kind of they started their own business.
I don't know. I was pretty young at the time,
so I wasn't tracking exactly. And then like it didn't
work out and he had to sell his portion and
then work for another company, and I think that wasn't
(18:33):
an amazing part of his professional life. Okay, so I
think he's kind of like old school.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Okay in what way if you don't mind, I know he's.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Very like he was older. He was born in thirty nine, okay,
and just kind of he was in the Coast Guard
and grew up just very kind of what traditional parents. Yeah, yeah,
this is what you do and like a man provides
for his family and this part is not ideal. And yeah,
yeah didn't share that much with my mom about the
(19:02):
financial aspect.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Like this is my respectibility. So your your dad was
more traditional in that sense. My I asked how, like
roughly how old he was when you when you had
when they had you. I was like, he had you
in his early eightieses.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
So we died at one hundred and thirty. He was forty.
They were a little older because I was a full.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Surprise, Oh you were just we were having fun.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
My parents didn't think they could conceive naturally. Okay, they
were trying, and so they adopted to my sisters to
lovely little girls. And then when they were about thirteen
and fourteen, respectively. Yeah, my mom went to the doctor
and the doctor was like, so this is going to
(19:49):
come as a shock, you're pregnant. My mom was like duhh.
So it was a bit of a surprise, a welcome surprise.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
So they say to Yeah, so they were a little.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
The I guess older. Sure, I guess people are having.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Kids at that time, though, I would say, what, you're
seventy five, right.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
So at that time seventy five?
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Yeah, so at the time, at the time you were born,
that was a huge deal. We having kids. You do
you do that voice?
Speaker 3 (20:16):
So so.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
He goes so beautiful.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
So they were yeah, forty and thirty five perspect did.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
You feel like closer to one parent than the other?
Speaker 1 (20:32):
I don't think so. Okay, I guess there's that kid
thing of like, I don't know if my parents got divorced.
I probably lived with my mom because she was there.
I mean she worked part time occasionally, but she was
largely kind of okay, stay at home. Did your dad
work a lot like where you felt like the it
was like nine to five, but it wasn't to where
(20:54):
I never see you.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Okay, Yeah, you went to the movies basically every day
after work.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
It was like wrapped it five wrapped. Yeah, that's the
industry punched out.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
That's what all he knows is industry stuff. Did your
dad enjoy those movies?
Speaker 1 (21:12):
You know? The hardest? Maybe I ever heard him laugh.
I distinctly remember watching Home Alone two. It was on
TV Home Alone two, him laughing so hard when those
wet bandits get He loved like slapstick, Okay, comedy and stuff. Yeah,
I mean, I'm sure he appreciated lots more comedy obviously,
(21:33):
his love of sitcoms like The.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Big Bang Theory, that's huge.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
He loved that kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
But do you think you like modern family?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Oh, that's a good question. I don't know. I don't
know if he love it, especially as he got older,
he was watching a lot of like whatever that kind
of television for older viewers. Is that like it has
like Matt Lock and like oh Carter she wrote, and
Tubby or something. I don't know, to be it's to be.
(22:01):
I don't know what the name of it is. But
that was kind of largely like watching old shows that
are more comfortable. He is a very like simple man
in a.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Good way in his like simplicity, right and kind of
traditional way of being. Do you feel like you could
confide in him? And in concerning emotional things or where
did you think that, Yeah, that your relationship fell in
that regard, I think definitely.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
I mean he he wasn't necessarily a personal would be like, hey,
how are you feeling coming? Download? Give me the old download? Right? No, right?
But I remember one time I was really into this
girl in fifth grade and like at the mall, you
know those shops that would sell like shitty jewelry. It
(22:51):
would be like seven dollars a necklace, like a Clayer's
type thing.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
I was gonna say Spencer's, but Claires makes more sense.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Spencers like a wacky game. Yeah, the penis on top
of it. It was like one of those. And I
was really excited about it, and I was like and
then I kind of opened up and he's like, Oh,
that's great. She sounds sounds like a great gual. I'm
in fifth grade at the time, and told you were like,
(23:22):
I remember that for some reason. It's like a core
memory in my room, being like, oh no, I just
really like her and I hope she likes this necklace.
I was all about presence.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Oh you're is that one of your your top love language?
Are you familiar with love languages?
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Yes? I am familiar. I don't know if that remained.
I mean I always thought it was fun to get
a lady a cool, fun gift.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Yes, okay, more like fun rather than meaningful or like.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Some like Cartier necklace with diamonds all over it. I
mean definitely like that.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Pardon a woman would like that, Mike true.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
I mean I've gotten some of that type of thing,
but you don't enjoy giving Paula.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Is Mikey wife?
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Who is that's my wife? For instance, we my wife
and I Sorry to tangent, no, please bond it over
back to the future. Early in our relationship our mutual
love for the movie. One of our first dates was
going to a screening at the original at the Twin
Pines Mall where they shot the parking lot scene like
that movie. You're like, you're a door.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
I am a little like, Okay, you love this movie.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
I love.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
You know what movie I love?
Speaker 1 (24:38):
And I can only love to want The Town by
the way I actively search. I remember you tell me
an action figure of the Town nun with the mask.
Because when Ago told me my favorite movie is The Town,
it because it's an awesome movie, so good. It's just
so not what I I don't know what I was expecting.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
But I certainly you got to be like the note
the notebook, I seem.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Like surprise me, probably even more than the town.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Okay, what if I had said, like men in Black,
I don't know, right, because we're.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
All funny to me.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Yeah, they're all good movies, right exactly. But I am
just the town through and through the town. It's it's
the greatest. So we're Mike. You gave me on these
three tangents away, five tangents away. Wait, okay, the gift
you're you're a gift given.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
That's when I remember a time when I spoke to
my father and like kind of opened up about Okay,
but speaking.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Of love languages, though, what would you say your dad's
love languages? Because it sounds like ifs were important to
you or like just fun ones if you had to guess, no, okay,
can I can I tell you very like affectionate?
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Well, I didn't see my parents. I mean they were
in love obviously, but there wasn't a lot of like
my dad taking my mom sleeping arms, and a lot
of like just like little is here and there.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Little kisses? Do you guys? You and Paula do that
you take Paula in your arms out. Well, I'm not
like little kisses here in front of the family.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yeah, but we have a bit. We have a family
bit that I don't know. One time we were on
we were walking home from something, Paula, myself and our son,
and we gave each other a little kiss and we
just said, what if, Abbot, what if you are the
(26:31):
abbess the name of our son.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
Sorry wife, Abbot is, his son said, was watching us kissing.
Were very we were very open about doing bits with
Abbot and would. He's been raised under a household where
you like a joke around do stupid bits house, which
(26:55):
is interesting with his friends because a lot of the
sort of middle school fit, I mean fifth through whatever,
he's going to seventh, but a lot of the humor
is just quoting the internet, like quoting memes.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Wow, and it's like that's hilarious.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
And he'll be doing things like can you imagine if
like no one knew me and I was just sitting
in class as if and like everyone's like, who's that?
Speaker 2 (27:23):
But I'm there, and it'll be like quote a quote
a mean brother, Come on, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (27:31):
That's what the girls like, so it's interesting. He's kind
of has a difference sense of humor. But we've said
like that'll come, that'll come in handy later as you
get older.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Yes, does he feel like does he feel like he's
not in in the end because he's not quoting, mean,
he just.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Says sometimes kids will be like what or like okay,
he'll do that. I mean he loves himself a good
internet meme. Okay, will quote the hell out of them,
which he does all the time. Young man who can
do both? Ye, just saying things like what are you
talking about? What kind of dad would you say?
Speaker 2 (28:12):
You are?
Speaker 1 (28:14):
You find yourself saying the exact things that your parents said.
Are you surprised? Other night? You gotta wear your retainer, pud,
you gotta wear your retainer. And it's not for us,
it's for you because we want And I'm like, I'm
saying the exact things my mom and dad would say
to me.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Do you get surprised when it happens? Yeah, you get scared?
Speaker 1 (28:35):
You said it's scary or it's just a little like
oh no, because you are always like I'm cooler than
my parents. Man, I'm like, he's full and cool and
then it's but just talk to everyone and yeah, they
share the same experiences. So I guess it's just weirdly inevitable.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
I feel I don't have children, and I've told.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
You, I think you'd be a fantastic.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Man, thank you. And I think I think that I
would be a good mom based on absolutely nothing.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
I feel like rarely are people though ready. It's so funny,
like after we had our boy leaving the hospital, we
were like, they're just giving us this person.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
And there's no one saying to you before they give
you the person. There no one's going, oh have you
have you read a manual? Do you know what you're doing?
Do you know what you need to do tonight? What
time X, Y or Z starts or which? Like it's
like figure it out, here you go and all human being,
a full human being. When you found out you were
having a kid, were you scared or what was your
emotion around that?
Speaker 1 (29:39):
I was excited because I was I knew. I was like,
I want a child with Paula. I'm like, I just
know I'm in love with this person. I want a
child with this person. So if it happens, it happens,
and that's exciting, and it happened, you know, earlier than
we thought. But it's not like it was a surprise. Okay,
(30:00):
so okay, we were very excited. Okay, but it is
very I remember because you know, we looked pretty young.
We were I was, I believe thirty two when Paula
was pregnant. We looked kind of young, and I remember
we went and were like, we need an obgyn. So
we just kind of went and talked to this. Our
(30:21):
doctor was great. He was kind of an older la,
but he was like, it's going to cost money. Like
you look like two kids who were like, okay, we're good,
but it is It was just kind of like this
is crazy. It's just happening. Yeah, Like and then they're
(30:42):
giving us this child, and now we have this child.
But I remember bringing him home after the hospital and
then I was going to go to like CBS or
something and being like I should let her know. I'm like,
I'm going to CBS.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Is that cool?
Speaker 1 (30:56):
I mean, you're obviously going to be here, you're recovering
and everything, but just being like, oh, there's always now
someone that is your responsibility right right from now on.
So that was kind of an interesting but it's the
greatest thing ever. It's weird that we spent so much
of our lives without this little dude.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
You can't imagine it now, right, Yeah, Yeah, there.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Was a time where he just wasn't around, we didn't
know him. So do I love it? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Do you? Okay? So someone I've seen if people have kids,
and I've seen them say yeah, we just felt like
maybe they have one or two or whatever, and they're like,
we just felt like our little family wasn't complete, so
we're having another. Was that a feeling? Did you feel
like it was incomplete in any way your relationship with
Paula again, you said like without without a kid, Like
(31:48):
because you said you knew you wanted to have a
kid with Paula. But if it happens, great, if it
doesn't happen, okay, did you feel like.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Not necessarily incomplete?
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Because we were like very happy, okay, okay, enjoying the
first years of a relationship.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
Yeah, now okay, and then I guess.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
When it happened, it was like, oh, we are complete
in a new way. Okay, it's broaden the relationship. Now
we're a family.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Yeah, but how did you know, because that's fascinating to me.
I don't know what that feeling is right, right, and
so what is it to look at especially hearing it
from a man, What is it to look at someone
and go, I know, I want to have a child
with this person? What is that feeling like? Can you
speak a little more about that?
Speaker 1 (32:36):
I'm not sure. I just just guess you just know,
and you just kind of I just felt it, you know,
And I'm just like, this would be exciting and someone
I guess that you would want to go on that
journey with got you you know what I mean? Because
it is a long journey and sometimes very hard. Obviously
the pregnancy. Paula loved being pregnant and remembers that time
(33:00):
in her life very fondly. But it is very hard
for the girl. The guy's just chilling, like do you
need some water? One time, she's like, I need I
need cake.
Speaker 4 (33:14):
You get cake.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
I brought it to her and she was like, oh
my god. The case she like described she goes like
there's a layer of frosting on the top, which is amazing.
She just like wax poetical. But she paul had a
C section and daring it. I was like, I could
never do that, like women are the strongest, the stronger
(33:41):
sex by I mean, I would just be like and
just talk about it constantly, like, look at what's look
at what I'm doing?
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Do you see this? Do you see this? I took
the trash out? Did you see me taking.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Like we're gonna put all of your guts on a
what we take this baby out? Stuff him back in
and she's just like this little petite girl, just being
like on a roller.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
But you're describing as making me never want to have
a child. Yes, but I'm gonna have one one way
or the other. And where's the camera. I'm gonna see
to it now. I picture you with a little sun
two round.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
I mean I think you'd be an amazing mother to
either a son or a daughters. Yes, of course, for
some reason, I have these visions of you and this
little dude.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
You have foresight, Yes, tell me what else you see?
Speaker 1 (34:36):
I see him he's dressed cool. I see him wearing
like an interesting fashion choice, like sunglasses, and you being like,
I don't know what's going on with sunglasses. He loves him,
so I'm just don't But I told him he looks
absolutely weird.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
But he likes him, so I planted those seeds of insecurity.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Kind of funny. Yeah, yeah, I don't know why that's
the image.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
I love it. I love it. Well, okay, well, how
are you with Abbot's fashion choices? Do you care about fashion?
Speaker 1 (35:04):
If you know me? In fashion, I have two pairs
of jeans and four shirts, and you have.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Two pairs of shoes and two pairs of like being
back in middle school where you get like one pair.
Those are new.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Yeah, I'm not good with like adult stuff like that.
Like I'm so bad with fashion.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
But when I think of being a parent, though, I
think it's pretty damn adult. Do you think you're good
at being a dead honestly by your assessment, I do.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
I think Paula is the captain of the ship. Sure,
I love Paula fantastic mother. But I do think I'm
a good father.
Speaker 3 (35:40):
I do.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Spend so much time with him, and I love spending
time with him and will make sure, especially because sometimes
you will be at home and you'll be like, do
you want to play this in my room? And sometimes
you'll be tired and might not necessarily want to. I'm like,
I'm going to end up having fun, right, and that's
(36:04):
only in instances where you know, if you're just tired
and kind of want to iway, just make sure to
enjoy our time together and we play catch, which is
some of my best memories with just like playing catch
and pretending it's it we're in the throes of a
baseball game. He really likes sports. He's willing into soccer,
and he really likes like the drama of sports.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Yeah, there's not much.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Time left, right. Did you guys watch the Olympics play?
Speaker 1 (36:31):
Yeah, he loved it. He was all in gymnastics. He's like,
this is amazing. He was like, I can't believe they're doing.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
This right right, Look at the thus.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
You're doing young the Japanese team is. He was just
amazed that they look so young and we're just capable
of such feats of strength. Yeah, it is pretty fantastic.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
It is incredible. I got to see two and I
was jaw was on the floor.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
That woman is flying simoon bioles. That woman is fine.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
That is the fully in the sky legitimately, where you're.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Like, what just doing things and they're so just ripped
and so in control of their balance equilibrium.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
It's rekable. Gigantic amount like gigantic amounts of body awareness.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
I want will you please make sure that's.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
A gigantic amount of the I will actually will you
wear it? Will you add it to the rota?
Speaker 1 (37:28):
It needs to be small though you want to tidy anything.
I guess medium's fine. But you put me in a
large T shirt.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
I look thirteen, okay, I mean and right now you
look sixteen.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Yay.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Wait, you say you're a good dad. I love that.
And you said it is that kind of arrogant arrogant fact. No,
I think that's it's fantastic because I'm always I find
myself really curious about what constitutes being a good dad.
Interesting from your perspective, and based on what you just said,
it sounds like spending quality time together, which, by the way,
is a love language. Okay, yes, okay.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
Is learning him to know too that he can communicate
friends even if he thinks that we won't respond, well, like, yes,
we'll be We might be angry about something in the moment,
are annoyed, but it'll never have Your life is not over,
you know. We never want him to feel like like
(38:26):
trapped in something like for instance, like if you hated
your school. You know, you just couldn't. I mean, he
loves his school, sure, thankfully, but if he was ever
in a situation where like people are mean, we just
don't want him to feel like I'm trapped here. This
is my existence, right right, you can come to us
and we can. We can. It's like solve the problem,
(38:49):
right right, So definitely trying to open the channels of
communication and.
Speaker 5 (38:54):
Definitely trying to be like, what's up, you have any
crushes at schoolb Right, You're like, I'm sure he'd talk
with his friends more, but I think, yeah, so that
aspect of like communication and stuff.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
And I tried to Paula's she's read this book. I
should read it sounds really good. I don't even know
the name of it. It's this really cool book anyway.
It just and I'm paraphrasing and I'm sure giving a
very vague, not polished summary of one of the tenants
of this book, But it's all about like sharing personal
(39:34):
stories when you're during parenting milestones or aspects like lecturing
about something or they're going through something, rather than the
same old like well, you know what, I can't believe
that kid was mean to you because I think you're great,
or just being like, hey, when I was your age,
this kid did this or I remember I think it
(39:56):
was first grade. He had just started at a school.
He like kind of tripped and fell like in front
of the school, and I think he was bummed out.
But he was pretty young, so he wasn't like I'm
humiliated because he like scraped up his face. But then
but he also didn't love just completely face playing.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Right peer's new school.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
Yeah, but and then I just remember I shared, like, dude,
when I was in third grade, in the middle of class,
I fully vomited all over myself out of nowhere.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
And this is a true story. You have a sensitive tomb,
like what.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
Happened gigantic amounts of body.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
The front on the back, sensitive tomb.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
But anyway, I was just what but like mid day,
like around one or something.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
I was just like, you really remember that.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
I feel oh yeah, it's he felt he felt weird.
And literally, I think we're reading something as a class
so someone would.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Read, Yeah, we did popcorn reading sixth grade. We were
still doing popcorn reading.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Anyway, I was chilling in third grade and it was
just like so fast.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
It was just.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
And I just sat there paralyzed in fear, and I'm like,
maybe someone won't notice. And we sat in we sat
in clusters. Okay, okay, so like groups of four and
I was in a group with three girls and like
one girl was like looked up from her reading, like ew.
Michael threw up on himself and then it spread like wildfire.
(41:37):
And my teacher was like, okay, go to the office.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
And the poor trouble. Not the nurses, not the nurses officers,
I say, principal. And in the office, I was like,
what why are you trying to the office. That was
such a big deal in elementary is getting set to
the office.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
Oh yeah, oh my anyway, I threw your myself and
the teacher was like, Courtney, can you escort Michael to
the front office? And this poor girl had to walk
me from our class too. And this was in so
cal So it was outdoors, it was proper door and
then everything was out orange property.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Yeah for sure.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
So we're just walking to the front office and I
remember her like, well, at least like you get to
go home, I mean, you don't have to be at
school anymore, like trying to make the situation. I was like, thanks, anyway,
I didn't want to go to school. That it took
like a couple of days and I felt better I
didn't want to go did all this? Yeah, it's like
(42:40):
just trying to share personal anecdotes as much as possible.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Well, they say, though, by sharing personal anecdotes, who can
get someone else to also open up? That's part of
the like what encourages vulnerability as someone feeling like, Okay,
you've shared, so I can share.
Speaker 5 (42:54):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Did you just going back to your relationship with your
dad though? Did you feel like he shared personal anecdotes
or do you not know too much about his own
experience in school and growing up question?
Speaker 1 (43:07):
I think he told stories, but I don't remember any
stories of like man, when I went on a date
with a girl, like first that broad class, but none
of that, although that would be weird for anything that
I was going to say.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Do dads talk to their sons about That's not no
do Anyway.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
My dad was talking about one of his ex girlfriend's breasts,
as all duds do.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
I don't know if all dads do, but again, don't
know what dads do. That's why I'm talking to you guys, now,
did you that made me sad? No is that sad.
I don't want people to feel sad.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
I don't want to how to night positive? You were like,
but I don't know what dad's.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Do I don't. I'm so fascinating.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
Is there a specific time growing up there?
Speaker 2 (43:48):
I'll be asking the question, do not ask me any questions.
I'll be asking the questions. Hell fucking know, just what.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Specific time that you remember being like?
Speaker 2 (44:00):
I really wish I had no and no And that's sincerely.
I know the movies would suggest otherwise, And I've tried
to discern for myself if it's a function of the
fact that my parents got divorced when I was a
literal baby, so there I didn't have the experience of like, oh,
a dad and he was in our house and now
dad's moved out because parents got divorced. So I was like,
(44:22):
I don't know if it's that. I don't know if
it's because I did have so many uncles and male
figures in my life that I didn't feel the neglect.
I don't know if it's a function of my faith.
So I don't know. I've wondered why I don't feel
like the movies say I'm supposed to feel.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
I'm like, I don't feel that, like you're constantly needing
a reckoning.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Right, And I wouldn't be ashamed if I did. It
would make almost more sense to me if I did.
But no, I don't. I'm so fascinated by dads because
I feel like I don't know what they with the dad. Yeah,
I just don't know what a life with a dad
is like and how mine would look different. I'm fascinated
(45:03):
to hear from people what their experiences are with their
dads and what they are like as dads, which obviously
is the whole premise of the podcast. But I'm like,
it's just a fascinating exchange to me because I'm like.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Child with a gentleman and it's a boy, as you said,
and you're just watching him with your child, Like what
are you that's are you fathering?
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Yes? I mean, but the thing is And then I
saw it. I did to be fair too, because even
as I say that, and people like my cousin, I'm
two nieces, so my brother is a dad, very present dad.
My I did see present dads, right, So like, I
guess I'm being hyperbolic when I'm like, I don't know
what dads do. I think the best, the more accurate
(45:47):
thing for me to say is like, oh, I'm curious
what my life would be have been, like yeah, with
a dad, But I'm and I'm more curious to hear
about people's relationships with their dads because I think they
can be complicated. Yeah, and those are like, that's just
an interesting dynamic to me. But do you care if
Abbot counts you as like a friend? Does that matter
(46:09):
to you?
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Interesting? I mean, we do a lot of we'll play
video games together and stuff, But I think ultimately it's
you know, it's good for them to view you as
a parent, you know what I mean. Although I think
it's fun to do stuff that friends would do, like
play video games and so like share parts of his
(46:31):
life that you would share with friends.
Speaker 2 (46:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:33):
Yeah, but ultimately, you know, it gets weird if you're like,
we're just friends, man, and hey, don't do that right? Right?
Or do this?
Speaker 5 (46:42):
Ye?
Speaker 1 (46:42):
This is why that's important.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Yeah, between you and Paula like one or who's more
of the disciplinarian And do you have a disciplinarian bone
in your body?
Speaker 1 (46:52):
Definitely? In terms of dude, clean up your dishes, don't
just leave them out here.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
I see I have to do it.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
You will, yeah, I mean there'll be moments of where
it gets you know serious. I remember one time I
haven't yelled that much. I just remember once yelling. It
was about like, I don't know, probably something with shut
off the iPad. You've had enough games. Remember raising my
(47:23):
voice and seeing him just kind of go, whoa, this
is new. And I could see it in his eyes like, oh,
he'll remember, you know, those weird memories from childhood you have.
I'm like, oh, he'll remember that. I can tell you
could just see it like in print within his brain,
like firing off. But I mean, if I have raised
(47:48):
my voice, like a few minutes later, it'll be like, hey,
this is why I raised my voice, you know, and
kind of in a calmer environment, just kind of reckon that.
Speaker 2 (48:02):
Yeah, that first time when you saw like you saw
it in his eyes him go, oh my gosh, that's different.
I've never had Dad engage with me that way. Did
you feel like worried, remorse? Like, what did you feel
like if that's the first time you've done it for me,
I can imagine I'm like, oh, no, have I damaged
this first? Like, what did you feel that doesn't have
(48:23):
to be your answer, but I'm like, or did you know, Hey,
we'll have a conversation later.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
I wasn't too worried because it wasn't like insane, It
wasn't like throwing stuff. It was just kind of like,
you know, coming out of moment where I don't know,
there'll be moments where kids are like try and test you,
like sure, they're coming into their own They're like, I'm
gonna try this out.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
Whatever, like teasing, disrespect the boundary. They gotta find the
boundary line. That's what happens every living creature.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
It was born out of one of those moments.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
Okay, so that's why I So then you felt it
wasn't too intentional. And I'm not even trying to paint
that picture. But if you like saw it, did you
saw it and you were like it's fine, I'm like, good,
he's just going to remember you can't cross that line?
Speaker 1 (49:07):
Is that you never love like a moment where you
kind of yell, but it was just more kind of fascinating, like, oh,
he'll I could tell oh, he'll remember that.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
Do you remember ever your dad raising his voice and
the moment where you go, oh, I can't cross this
line or this is where the boundary falls.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
So I remember he would sneeze really loudly. That was
his way of remember he said, Dad, burn it. I
don't know where that comes from, Like if he spills something, dad,
and you'd say that really burns me. I think I
heard him say shit a couple of times, like, but
(49:48):
it was always kind of like I'm using ship, you
know what I mean, like enough.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
Of this shit, Like I said shit, all right, So
you don't feel like you don't think that you ever
had a given that your dad was so mild man.
Speaker 1 (50:01):
And you don't.
Speaker 2 (50:02):
You're not really remembering a moment where you were like, oh,
that's a boundary and let me not cross that line
with him, right right, that's not sticking out to you.
I don't and that's okay, I think, So okay. Would
about sex by the way or no, no, I just.
Speaker 1 (50:19):
The internet wasn't really around. Yeah, so, but I just
knew we had like a we had like a health
unit in school. I remember my dad broaching the subject
like have you been taught about the ye you know,
between men and women. I'm like, yeah, I know, I know,
I'm good.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
You don't want to know everything that's it's okay? Is
eleven twelve eleven?
Speaker 1 (50:43):
Yeah, he knows they unit that.
Speaker 2 (50:45):
Unit should have you tried to talk to him about
any of that.
Speaker 1 (50:49):
I think it's come up like here and there, but
never like to in depth. But I think he'll like
ask questions or his friends will like talk about something. Sure,
like kids now have such access to but do.
Speaker 2 (51:05):
You broach the subject? And if you do try to
broach it okay? Then is he is he dismissive like
you were at the time, Like at his age, they're
like curious.
Speaker 1 (51:12):
And I think we do it. Anytime we would talk
about it, it's in a less awkward as least awkward
way as possible. It's not like, okay, like my dad
was pretty awkward with that kind of things. Okay, because
like no one likes this. I feel weird. I feel weird.
But I think we try to be just like casual
(51:35):
if we talk about it. It's not like we're walking
around the house talking about sex. But if it comes
up or like you know, in a we'll be watching
a movie, there'll be a line that like relates to something,
and it's like we'll just kind of explain it casually
rather than making it like taboo, because that's when I
think you start to run in to problems where it's
(51:57):
like sex is this secret bad things. Yeah, is when
you kind of it manifests in not a healthy way
when they're older. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
Yeah, I mean I have no I can't say for sure,
but I sure I feel like that makes sense. And
it's I feel like we are part of a generation
now that is more open in terms of the conversations
concerning sex, and it's not so wild to be more
forthcoming up in those conversations, right right, Yeah, do is
(52:29):
there something that's really important to you to impart.
Speaker 1 (52:31):
To abbit kindness which I think we've done well. Like
he's a very conscientious kid, like he will go out
of his way, or like I think to be very
empathetic and be like, no one wants to partner up
with this kid in this project, that I will go
(52:52):
out of my way. Yeah, things like that that we
hear and yeah, have good manners, be respectful and a
gentleman too. Yeah when he eventually wants to date. Yeah,
so that kind of thing. But it's mostly just like
to be a good person. Yeah, because in the there
(53:13):
were moments, especially you know in the beginning, like this
kid was mean to me, or this kid's like bullying,
you know, as all kids do. It's some point in
elementary school when they're younger and you try to be like,
but it just you're just repeating what your parents say.
But it's true. You're like, that's not about you, that's
about them. They're insecure, so you try and convey that
(53:38):
as much as possible. So we're I guess that's all
to say. We're just trying to make him a well rounded,
right kind, good person. But it's funny though. It's funny
all kids do this where they test you and it's
like I wasn't doing that. You're like you clearly, then
what happened? Did a ghost do it?
Speaker 2 (53:56):
I mean right? Maybe?
Speaker 1 (53:58):
And it's like you want me to be rather than
you leaving that in your room that a ghost came
in and did it?
Speaker 3 (54:06):
Right?
Speaker 2 (54:07):
Okay, So I end every episode of The Pods a
bad episode. I think it was a good episode, And.
Speaker 1 (54:14):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (54:15):
A good episode?
Speaker 1 (54:15):
But fatherly advice? Don't walk to your car too far
alone late at night? Oh right? Yeah, I mean how
can handle yourself? Yeah? I mean if I tried to
accost you late at night in a dark part of
the city. I think you would beat my ass. Sure, however, Sure,
just want to make sure you're safe.
Speaker 2 (54:36):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (54:36):
Don't do the thing of like, it's just a few blocks.
I can make it, okay, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (54:41):
Yes, that's how.
Speaker 1 (54:42):
It's too far just in an area. I don't know.
You would have to be discerning about that.
Speaker 2 (54:47):
Thanks, Mike.
Speaker 1 (54:48):
Wait, so how far sand that you deserve the best?
Don't settle Thanks bullshit, especially in any future relationships. Not
that that was your thing.
Speaker 2 (54:57):
I'm just saying, yes, No, I understand, like received, there's a.
Speaker 1 (55:01):
Lot of bullshit here. I guess I'll just have to
put up with it.
Speaker 2 (55:04):
No, the bullshit creeps up on you and then one
day you're like, oh, oh, little bullshit here, little bullshit there,
little bullshit there. Oh no, I'm sitting a bullshit Yeah
now it's I'm just surrounding. I'm breathing bullshit because it
crept up. But I do have to ask you a question,
because I actually really love what you just said about
not walking to my car late at night by myself.
Speaker 1 (55:24):
Or walking anywhere I obviously can walk alone. I don't know,
it's those judgment calls.
Speaker 2 (55:30):
Okay, but just be smart about it is what you're saying, okay,
And I appreciate that, Dad, I do. Here's a question,
because you said the thing about walking to my car.
I'll probably be getting a car soon again, when I'm
buying a car, do you have any advice on what
I should look out for? Like is there a way
I should test drive the car? Is there a dealership
(55:52):
I should go to, or dealership I should avoid? What's
your official.
Speaker 1 (55:56):
Word on the least car guy in the universe?
Speaker 2 (56:00):
Well, here, thank you. My questions don't always so the
questions the advice I ask for each okay, the advice
I ask from each Dad is not a function of
my thinking that Dad would be good at giving that advice.
And I say that was little to no respect for you.
Speaker 1 (56:21):
I don't respect you as a man, I don't respect
you as a father.
Speaker 2 (56:27):
So but I'm going to get a car soon and
you're the dad of the day and today, Dad, the
advice I need is on getting a car and what
I need to look out for, and any piece of
advice a dealership to go to, if you know a dealer,
if there's someone I should avoid because they're sneaky and
(56:48):
good job you're making it up. I'm really going to
buy a car.
Speaker 1 (56:53):
Well, any dealership you go to, it's going to be
the best car.
Speaker 2 (56:56):
Okay, right do you think so?
Speaker 1 (56:58):
Well, they're all going to be like all those others
whatever than this than this.
Speaker 2 (57:05):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (57:06):
I'm really swear I say that because I'm always really
swayed by that. Like whatever I'm in, I'm like, you're.
Speaker 2 (57:10):
Right, yeah, this Jim says it's the best, and Jim said.
Speaker 1 (57:14):
And then the next one is like, oh yeah, this
is actually I'll just buy whatever they're saying. Gullible Dad, Yes,
but I guess I would say yes. If there's a
car you like, get that one.
Speaker 2 (57:31):
That's your advice dad, that's your member. Okay, that's there's
a car I like, get you one? Okay.
Speaker 1 (57:38):
Is there a type of car you like?
Speaker 2 (57:40):
I love a range Rover?
Speaker 1 (57:42):
You do?
Speaker 2 (57:43):
I look like a BMW girl?
Speaker 1 (57:45):
More Audi?
Speaker 2 (57:46):
Thank you? I don't even know. Okay, Well, Mikey, that.
Speaker 1 (57:49):
Sounds like a song. I've got that Audi ass with
the beep.
Speaker 2 (57:55):
Going, keep going with them Toyota titties and in come on,
what's my waistline?
Speaker 1 (58:03):
Like, what's my I'm not saying you. I'm saying this
is a jo.
Speaker 2 (58:06):
I didn't think you were talking about my He's like,
I'm just I'm not commenting on her body. I'm talking
about oh god. Anyway, Mikey, this has been so fantastic.
I love you, dearly, Mikey. Okay, do you have anything
you want to plug? I love it this seriously, Mikey,
be serious.
Speaker 1 (58:23):
Ones and fifty coming.
Speaker 2 (58:24):
Up, Season fifty of Saturday Night Live.
Speaker 1 (58:27):
That's a big one.
Speaker 2 (58:27):
That's a big one, and it is coming up very
soon in.
Speaker 1 (58:30):
An interesting year.
Speaker 2 (58:31):
It's gonna fifty. Yeah, that's a big deal.
Speaker 1 (58:34):
Okay, big fiftieth celebrations. Okay, yeah, so it'll be a
fun season and the fiftieth celebration in February.
Speaker 2 (58:42):
Yes, okay, Mikey.
Speaker 1 (58:43):
I love you, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (58:45):
I'll wait you more.
Speaker 1 (58:46):
And I think you're wonderful and insanely talented and I
am in awe of you on the rag.
Speaker 2 (58:51):
Thank you, Mikey. Thanks Dat is a headgun podcast created
and hosted by me Aga Wodham. The show is produced
and edited by Anita Flores and engineered by Anita Flores
and Anya Kanevskaya, with executive producer Emma Foley. Katie Moose
is our VP of Content at Headgum. Thanks to Jason
Mathney for our show art and Farismonshi for our theme song.
(59:15):
For more podcasts by Headgum, visit headgum dot com, or
wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a
review on Apple Podcasts, and maybe, just maybe we'll read
it on a future episode.
This is a Headgun podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mikey, you said that you didn't know my dad was
in the picture. You didn't know, you didn't. Excuse me,
you said you didn't What did you say?
Speaker 1 (00:21):
I didn't know your dad wasn't in the picture?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Is it because I seemed like a girl with a dad, right?
I think? I think I think I seemed like a
girl with a dad.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
But also when you would talk about your family kind
of wanting you to be a doctor, and I thought
you were including your father.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
No part of them. No, No, I mean I'm sure
he wanted me to be a doctor too, though, right,
I'm sure sure he was a doctor.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Do you have a stepfather? No?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
No stepfather, No stepfather. I do not have a dad
in the picture. And I really you know, people like
girls without dads. It's were labeled girls with daddy issues, right,
But you.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Never struck me as someone who does not have a
father or didn't grow up with a father.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Because of the doctor thing? And is there anything else?
Because this is this is fascinating to me, truly, because
I know I'm not naturally, I know I'm really funny naturally,
but this is a thing that is fascinating to me.
Because I think that I have suspected I've never confirmed
it when way or the other, and you just said it.
(01:28):
I've suspected that most people don't assume my dad's not
in the picture, which perhaps is a strange assumption anyway,
But I don't think anything about my personality lends itself
to that, as I'm.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Successful put together.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
I mean, I don't know what quote unquote daddy issues
might manifest themselves as. But I don't know. You just
didn't strike me as someone. I mean, you didn't. You
haven't obviously brought it up a lot. But now I
feel like a bad friend because I wasn't aware that would.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
You have treated me differently if you knew you didn't
have a dad a lot different.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I wouldn't talk to you. But I mean, you haven't
necessarily brought it up. But I feel like I know
you fairly well.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
I think I feel like you know me. I don't
think you know me pretty well. There's layers because mystery.
I've got a lot of secrets. Mister Day.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I guess when we talk we talk what we talked
about your relationship in terms of personal stuff?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yes, and what were your thoughts and takeaway there.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
You you don't deserve to put up with any bullshit.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Thank you, Mikey Day. You heard it from Mikey Day. Guys,
don't fantastic lady think Mikey's so sweet.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
He's smart and smart. I was going to say smart intelligent.
Those are the same word intelligent both. You're obviously so funny.
Thank you, Mike gorgeous.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Oh my god, I brought Mikey onto this gas independent woman.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
You do not need to put up with any bullshit.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
No more, no more, no, thank you, Mike.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
No more bullshit from a man.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I appreciate that, because you know what, Mikey, I fuck
with you. Thank you for saying that. Okay, Hi, guys,
I may go wode him and welcome to thank dad.
Mikey is miming clapping for me. We love that. Hey,
I was raised by a single mom, and I don't
have a relationship with my dad, and in fact, the
(03:34):
guy's dead now. So on this podcast, I'm sitting down
with father figures. He giggles at the notion that he'd
be counted a father figure. Father figures, who you think
it's funny that your dad just how that happen? How
that happened one fun night and now I'm a dad. Okay,
father figures who are old enough to be my dad?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Who?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Or are just dads themselves. I'm going to get to
the questions I've always wanted to ask a dad, like
how do I know if the person I'm dating is
the one? How do I change my oil? Dad?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Oh? No?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
So My next guest is the host of Netflix's hit
show is It Cake Hit? It's a hit? Come on,
you know it's a hit. Don't pretend to be humble.
You know it's a hit.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I love it and can be seen on Saturday Night.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Live alongside star Mike.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Mikey is the most generous, though he's never given me money,
only compliments. Please welcome my dad for the Day, Mikey
Day for the Day, Mikey Day, My dad for the day, Mikey.
Emma has gone ahead and turned the volume down, so
it's to suggest we are yelling.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Oh I'm sorry because I.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Just I got excited personally about the like Mikey Day,
Dad for the day, and I'm put it together. Your
brain works fast. What's the So if you're my dad
for the day and your name is Mikey Day, do
it for the day, Mikey, dad for the day. Yeah, no, Mikey,
dad for the day. Correct, that's that's mathematics. Okay, Mikey.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Hi, I'm so excited to be here.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I'm so happy you're the host of a podcast. I'm
the host. Can you believe someone let me have a microphone.
They let me have a microphone? Women talking?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
I can't believe women? What's next?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Reading opinions, Mikey. I'm so happy you're here.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Thank you for having me. I'm so glad, so much so,
I will do anything.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I'm I really, it means a lot to me.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I'm a big a supporter. I will support you.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
I feel it. I feel it in my bones. You're
the very best Mikey. You know, we talk about a
lot of things at work. We have a lot of
downtime between takes and rehearsals and blocking.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Right, we'll get real every once in a while.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
And after table read, Yeah, table reading the long window
between ending of table read and when they pick all.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
The sketches to meet Do you feel particularly emotionally vulnerable
after table because I feel like table read is such
an emotion, Like I think Tuesday to Wednesday at work
at Saturday Night Live is such an emotional like it's
so emotionally taxing.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Right where you can either have great success or miserable failure,
and it's up and down, so.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Up and down, and it's never just kind of like neutral.
It just I can't name a night on a Wednesday
where I felt just neutrallly like okay, okay, we'll see
never not once, And so then we do get real
on Wednesdays. It's like it's a good time to stop
being fake and start getting.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Real, to find out what happens when I don't know
if I'm emotionally vulnerable simply because I've been there for
a while and just have bond so hard at table
read to like complete silence.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
You've probably been there for some like complete silence, so
you get used to it.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
YEA.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Mostly just kind of tired after the marathon and then
Tuesday to Wednesday.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
And Heidi come into your room and just dump on
you on decorated dress dressing room is hideous, but it
used to be has to be my and Heidi's dressing room.
My first season, I shared the little space, but that's
how we got close. We could have hated each other,
loved each other. There's no in between in that little space.
And I loved her.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
I loved it. Life we are.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
That's my my damn girl. Mikey. When did you get
hired at sn L? I know I should know all
these fun facts about you.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
It was twenty thirteen to twenty fourteen that season, hired
as a writer. Okay, I remember Miley Cyrus was like
an early host that season of my first season. I
think that's when I remember she was like twirking at
the vmaut.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
The tongue is out.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
All that period.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yeah, she's like, I'm not a Disney little girl anymore.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Yeah, just to give the historical context.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
I'm a woman who likes to shake my yeah exactly. Yeah, yeah,
I remember that that season. Was hired as a writer,
So that was a while ago. Were your parents proud
or did they next care? Okay, my mom, it's very funny.
It was like, do you think maybe you'll be on
(08:19):
camera at some point? Very curious, which is very cute.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
But as you know, when you write at ESNL, it's
so creatively fulfilling. You're in charge of your piece. You're
just kind of writing at a table and sending it out.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Oh yeah, you become a producer.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah, for better or for worse, Right, you get to
if it goes well, you get to enjoy all the credit,
and if it goes bad, you get all the credit. Yeah,
but so, but yes, they were obviously obviously very very proud.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Now when your mom asked you about like, okay, do
you think there's any chance you could end up on camera?
Was that an annoying question to you at the time, because.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
I'm sure you'd like a little that I'd like to
be Yeah, it's still amazing to.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Just be congrats. Yeah, can it just be like congrats?
I'm so proud of you, you know.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
I mean there was that I would just be like,
I don't know. I mean, I wasn't like gunning to
be on camera because being a writer there is obviously
it's just so much fun.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
And yeah, so okay, So when you came to the
show the first season, did your parents ever come to
the show?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
My dad? My dad has passed away last year.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Yes, I'm sorry, how dare you? It was my fault?
I did it. I did it.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
I know, I did some research and it was all
your fault, which was odd.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Ultimately, Aros went back to me, that's a podcast about that. Okay,
your dad did pass Also, by the way, I saw
you after your dad passed, I did is it cake?
That last summer twenty three? Yeah, I did it. I
did it in August. And it was like, you're such
a consummate professional because I guess or emotionally detached, because
(09:58):
you did no signs.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
You're either a sociopath or a professional.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
And I can't quite discern because I was like, we talked,
we got back to es and l in the fall,
late fall. We're talking, I think like December or something.
You're like, yeah, my dad passed away, or maybe it
was January of twenty twenty four, but you were like, yeah,
my dad passed away last year. And I'm like, you
didn't ever say a word.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
I'm cutting a cookie jar that made out of cake and.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Just what the cake goes dark?
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Yeah it happened. Yeah, it was last summer.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
And so he had been he didn't really want to fly,
he was traveling, was getting a little more difficult, and
so he never made it out. But my mom has okay,
and she's done the Mother's Day Show.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
If you yes, I met her. She's sweet as pie
as your mother is. Thank you. Absolutely. All the moms
are so cute going to tack room where they wait,
I'm like, God, I love them so much. They're all
so sweet. I want to I was about to be like,
I'm obsessed with this person's mom and this person and
I'm like, I won't even bother because it's everybody, because yeah,
(11:13):
everyone has such a sweet mom.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
And then some moms. You're like, that looks like Chloe
in a couple of decades.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Right right, like carbon copy.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Yeah, it's wild.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Okay, your dad wasn't able to make it out. Did
that I ever feel disappointing to you? Did you kind
of want him to come out? I know it was
a matter of health and ability at.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
That time, I mean a little bit, but I know
he watched and was proud and you know, got to
see that part of my life.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
So I was never like, come on, dad, So I
was never like super bummed out about it because I
got it. But my dad was funny because he his
like favorite show was like The Big Bang Theory.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
He loves the sitcom.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
And I tell you what, Michael, there's no way, no
way Sheldon can memorize all those lines. He's got to
be making it up on the spot because he goes
on like long scientific rants. I'm like, I think they
have a writing staff. I don't think they just show
up and make up a story on the spot. And
(12:22):
he goes, I don't know. And then I remember hearing Lauren.
Lauren in an interview at one point said like, if
it's done well, people just think you'll be making it up.
I'm like, that was my dad.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
That's like, my dad thought you were speaking up right?
Who thought someone was making it up as they went
because it was so good.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
I was like, Dad, they have a writing staff.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Writer.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I mean maybe improv sometimes, but.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
I mean.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
I don't know, but they're just so long and it's
a lot of science stuff on memorize.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
He had to audition. Sheldon had to audition and proved
that he could carry that kind.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Of memorize that.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Wait, so you said you knew he was proud. Was
he the kind of dad who would articulate like, I'm
proud of you, son, I imagine, like out of a movie.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yeah, yeah, oh that's great, that's fantastic. He was very
soft spoken kind yeah, but he would be effusive with
oh that's great, not necessarily overly effusive, but he wasn't
like the type of dad that would never say he's
proud of you and you're constantly striving for give me
(13:34):
approval of dad. Yeah, and he was very supportive, Like
after college when I wanted, obviously to support the career
we are in, which is to some parents, he was
very supportive. Obviously, as you've talked about this career, some
parents aren't necessarily totally in your corner too. But he
(13:58):
there's a sketch comedy group in Los Angeles, the Groundlings.
It's improve and Sketch, which I studied at and then
performed at for years and definitely credit that place with
being able to write. And I don't know, I give
that place all the credit. It's fantastic training. So your
(14:18):
dad was supportive, Yeah, he was. He was like, I'll
pay for your grounds when you okay, when did you study?
What did you study in college? I studied theater, which
is a whole.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Other was he also supportive of that when that's what
I want to Absolutely when he.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Was never like don't don't pursue your dreams, which I
feel like is a blessing and I'm very very lucky
to have had that.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
So you've and was he a person who did ever
sit you down and be like you can do anything
you want to do, like or was that mean?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
It was never like an explicit kind of chat like that,
but it was like, I think there's groundlings, looks looks
really great, and I'll pay well, anytime you want to
take a class there, I'll pay for Oh wow, So
that was I feel like I was blessed to have that, Yeah,
because you know, a lot of people obviously don't have
(15:09):
the support of their parents. So he was fantastic in
that regard and support it all because I you know,
I'm sure you did some low rent in the beginning
of your career, like I'm doing Community Theater of Noises
off in Granada Hills. Absolutely, Oh I love that theater.
(15:32):
By the way, Yes, going However, you know they're driving
out two and a half hours in traffic from Orange County.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
And they would come see you at that. Your parents
would come see your shows amazing, so.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
I had their support. I obviously went through times where
I was like, can I borrow all my rent money
from you guys for the next six months? And I
remember I got my car booted like twice yeah, in
La that does and the like they build it ultimately.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Did you feel like your dad saw something in you
at a young age that was like he's got a
performer's bug, So I'm going to support that or do
you think no matter what you had chosen to do?
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Interesting? Yeah, I think any kind of career choice he
would have been supportive of. Maybe not like professional athlete, gone,
are we sure how this or not that athletically gifted
at what you've chosen to pursue, right, But I really
think it would have been supportive, Okay, whatever path I
(16:38):
had chosen.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Was he funny?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
He was pretty like sauce spoken, but every once in
a while he would be when he was comfortable, he
could be goofy. He was a goof but he like
introduced me to the Muppets, like when I was two
years old, would like bring me down and he saw
God bless this man's soul. He took me to any movie.
(17:03):
We always go to a matinee like after work. Yeah,
he'd take me to see so many movies because movies
obviously growing up, like we just had the movie theater
is yeah, you can just wait a week and then
it would be on TV. And he took me to
some bad movies man, because I'm like, I want to
see that. I wanted to see everything.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
And he would always be like, yes, yeah, And what
did he do for work.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
That he was doing as a general contractor, which I
still don't understand.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
He built? He built?
Speaker 1 (17:35):
It was like for petroleums, like gas stations. Okay, so
it would be like Mobile wants to build a gas
station here right, His firm would be like, we can
build this thing, put in the underground piping for this
much money, like put in a bid, and then they
would be like, okay, we're going with this firm, and
(17:56):
then his firm would oversee the construction of the gas
station hopefully. I described that. Okay, does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I believe it, but very nice. I certainly not an artistic,
not artistic job. Do you think he was passionate about
his job.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
I think so. I know at one point he like
with his partner kind of they started their own business.
I don't know. I was pretty young at the time,
so I wasn't tracking exactly. And then like it didn't
work out and he had to sell his portion and
then work for another company, and I think that wasn't
(18:33):
an amazing part of his professional life. Okay, so I
think he's kind of like old school.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Okay in what way if you don't mind, I know he's.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Very like he was older. He was born in thirty nine, okay,
and just kind of he was in the Coast Guard
and grew up just very kind of what traditional parents. Yeah, yeah,
this is what you do and like a man provides
for his family and this part is not ideal. And yeah,
yeah didn't share that much with my mom about the
(19:02):
financial aspect.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Like this is my respectibility. So your your dad was
more traditional in that sense. My I asked how, like
roughly how old he was when you when you had
when they had you. I was like, he had you
in his early eightieses.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
So we died at one hundred and thirty. He was forty.
They were a little older because I was a full.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Surprise, Oh you were just we were having fun.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
My parents didn't think they could conceive naturally. Okay, they
were trying, and so they adopted to my sisters to
lovely little girls. And then when they were about thirteen
and fourteen, respectively. Yeah, my mom went to the doctor
and the doctor was like, so this is going to
(19:49):
come as a shock, you're pregnant. My mom was like duhh.
So it was a bit of a surprise, a welcome surprise.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
So they say to Yeah, so they were a little.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
The I guess older. Sure, I guess people are having.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Kids at that time, though, I would say, what, you're
seventy five, right.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
So at that time seventy five?
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Yeah, so at the time, at the time you were born,
that was a huge deal. We having kids. You do
you do that voice?
Speaker 3 (20:16):
So so.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
He goes so beautiful.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
So they were yeah, forty and thirty five perspect did.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
You feel like closer to one parent than the other?
Speaker 1 (20:32):
I don't think so. Okay, I guess there's that kid
thing of like, I don't know if my parents got divorced.
I probably lived with my mom because she was there.
I mean she worked part time occasionally, but she was
largely kind of okay, stay at home. Did your dad
work a lot like where you felt like the it
was like nine to five, but it wasn't to where
(20:54):
I never see you.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Okay, Yeah, you went to the movies basically every day
after work.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
It was like wrapped it five wrapped. Yeah, that's the
industry punched out.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
That's what all he knows is industry stuff. Did your
dad enjoy those movies?
Speaker 1 (21:12):
You know? The hardest? Maybe I ever heard him laugh.
I distinctly remember watching Home Alone two. It was on
TV Home Alone two, him laughing so hard when those
wet bandits get He loved like slapstick, Okay, comedy and stuff. Yeah,
I mean, I'm sure he appreciated lots more comedy obviously,
(21:33):
his love of sitcoms like The.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Big Bang Theory, that's huge.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
He loved that kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
But do you think you like modern family?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Oh, that's a good question. I don't know. I don't
know if he love it, especially as he got older,
he was watching a lot of like whatever that kind
of television for older viewers. Is that like it has
like Matt Lock and like oh Carter she wrote, and
Tubby or something. I don't know, to be it's to be.
(22:01):
I don't know what the name of it is. But
that was kind of largely like watching old shows that
are more comfortable. He is a very like simple man
in a.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Good way in his like simplicity, right and kind of
traditional way of being. Do you feel like you could
confide in him? And in concerning emotional things or where
did you think that, Yeah, that your relationship fell in
that regard, I think definitely.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
I mean he he wasn't necessarily a personal would be like, hey,
how are you feeling coming? Download? Give me the old download? Right? No, right?
But I remember one time I was really into this
girl in fifth grade and like at the mall, you
know those shops that would sell like shitty jewelry. It
(22:51):
would be like seven dollars a necklace, like a Clayer's
type thing.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
I was gonna say Spencer's, but Claires makes more sense.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Spencers like a wacky game. Yeah, the penis on top
of it. It was like one of those. And I
was really excited about it, and I was like and
then I kind of opened up and he's like, Oh,
that's great. She sounds sounds like a great gual. I'm
in fifth grade at the time, and told you were like,
(23:22):
I remember that for some reason. It's like a core
memory in my room, being like, oh no, I just
really like her and I hope she likes this necklace.
I was all about presence.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Oh you're is that one of your your top love language?
Are you familiar with love languages?
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Yes? I am familiar. I don't know if that remained.
I mean I always thought it was fun to get
a lady a cool, fun gift.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Yes, okay, more like fun rather than meaningful or like.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Some like Cartier necklace with diamonds all over it. I
mean definitely like that.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Pardon a woman would like that, Mike true.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
I mean I've gotten some of that type of thing,
but you don't enjoy giving Paula.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Is Mikey wife?
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Who is that's my wife? For instance, we my wife
and I Sorry to tangent, no, please bond it over
back to the future. Early in our relationship our mutual
love for the movie. One of our first dates was
going to a screening at the original at the Twin
Pines Mall where they shot the parking lot scene like
that movie. You're like, you're a door.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
I am a little like, Okay, you love this movie.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
I love.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
You know what movie I love?
Speaker 1 (24:38):
And I can only love to want The Town by
the way I actively search. I remember you tell me
an action figure of the Town nun with the mask.
Because when Ago told me my favorite movie is The Town,
it because it's an awesome movie, so good. It's just
so not what I I don't know what I was expecting.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
But I certainly you got to be like the note
the notebook, I seem.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Like surprise me, probably even more than the town.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Okay, what if I had said, like men in Black,
I don't know, right, because we're.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
All funny to me.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Yeah, they're all good movies, right exactly. But I am
just the town through and through the town. It's it's
the greatest. So we're Mike. You gave me on these
three tangents away, five tangents away. Wait, okay, the gift
you're you're a gift given.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
That's when I remember a time when I spoke to
my father and like kind of opened up about Okay,
but speaking.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Of love languages, though, what would you say your dad's
love languages? Because it sounds like ifs were important to
you or like just fun ones if you had to guess, no, okay,
can I can I tell you very like affectionate?
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Well, I didn't see my parents. I mean they were
in love obviously, but there wasn't a lot of like
my dad taking my mom sleeping arms, and a lot
of like just like little is here and there.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Little kisses? Do you guys? You and Paula do that
you take Paula in your arms out. Well, I'm not
like little kisses here in front of the family.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yeah, but we have a bit. We have a family
bit that I don't know. One time we were on
we were walking home from something, Paula, myself and our son,
and we gave each other a little kiss and we
just said, what if, Abbot, what if you are the
(26:31):
abbess the name of our son.
Speaker 4 (26:33):
Sorry wife, Abbot is, his son said, was watching us kissing.
Were very we were very open about doing bits with
Abbot and would. He's been raised under a household where
you like a joke around do stupid bits house, which
(26:55):
is interesting with his friends because a lot of the
sort of middle school fit, I mean fifth through whatever,
he's going to seventh, but a lot of the humor
is just quoting the internet, like quoting memes.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Wow, and it's like that's hilarious.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
And he'll be doing things like can you imagine if
like no one knew me and I was just sitting
in class as if and like everyone's like, who's that?
Speaker 2 (27:23):
But I'm there, and it'll be like quote a quote
a mean brother, Come on, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (27:31):
That's what the girls like, so it's interesting. He's kind
of has a difference sense of humor. But we've said
like that'll come, that'll come in handy later as you
get older.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Yes, does he feel like does he feel like he's
not in in the end because he's not quoting, mean,
he just.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Says sometimes kids will be like what or like okay,
he'll do that. I mean he loves himself a good
internet meme. Okay, will quote the hell out of them,
which he does all the time. Young man who can
do both? Ye, just saying things like what are you
talking about? What kind of dad would you say?
Speaker 2 (28:12):
You are?
Speaker 1 (28:14):
You find yourself saying the exact things that your parents said.
Are you surprised? Other night? You gotta wear your retainer, pud,
you gotta wear your retainer. And it's not for us,
it's for you because we want And I'm like, I'm
saying the exact things my mom and dad would say
to me.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Do you get surprised when it happens? Yeah, you get scared?
Speaker 1 (28:35):
You said it's scary or it's just a little like
oh no, because you are always like I'm cooler than
my parents. Man, I'm like, he's full and cool and
then it's but just talk to everyone and yeah, they
share the same experiences. So I guess it's just weirdly inevitable.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
I feel I don't have children, and I've told.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
You, I think you'd be a fantastic.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Man, thank you. And I think I think that I
would be a good mom based on absolutely nothing.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
I feel like rarely are people though ready. It's so funny,
like after we had our boy leaving the hospital, we
were like, they're just giving us this person.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
And there's no one saying to you before they give
you the person. There no one's going, oh have you
have you read a manual? Do you know what you're doing?
Do you know what you need to do tonight? What
time X, Y or Z starts or which? Like it's
like figure it out, here you go and all human being,
a full human being. When you found out you were
having a kid, were you scared or what was your
emotion around that?
Speaker 1 (29:39):
I was excited because I was I knew. I was like,
I want a child with Paula. I'm like, I just
know I'm in love with this person. I want a
child with this person. So if it happens, it happens,
and that's exciting, and it happened, you know, earlier than
we thought. But it's not like it was a surprise. Okay,
(30:00):
so okay, we were very excited. Okay, but it is
very I remember because you know, we looked pretty young.
We were I was, I believe thirty two when Paula
was pregnant. We looked kind of young, and I remember
we went and were like, we need an obgyn. So
we just kind of went and talked to this. Our
(30:21):
doctor was great. He was kind of an older la,
but he was like, it's going to cost money. Like
you look like two kids who were like, okay, we're good,
but it is It was just kind of like this
is crazy. It's just happening. Yeah, Like and then they're
(30:42):
giving us this child, and now we have this child.
But I remember bringing him home after the hospital and
then I was going to go to like CBS or
something and being like I should let her know. I'm like,
I'm going to CBS.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Is that cool?
Speaker 1 (30:56):
I mean, you're obviously going to be here, you're recovering
and everything, but just being like, oh, there's always now
someone that is your responsibility right right from now on.
So that was kind of an interesting but it's the
greatest thing ever. It's weird that we spent so much
of our lives without this little dude.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
You can't imagine it now, right, Yeah, Yeah, there.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Was a time where he just wasn't around, we didn't
know him. So do I love it? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Do you? Okay? So someone I've seen if people have kids,
and I've seen them say yeah, we just felt like
maybe they have one or two or whatever, and they're like,
we just felt like our little family wasn't complete, so
we're having another. Was that a feeling? Did you feel
like it was incomplete in any way your relationship with
Paula again, you said like without without a kid, Like
(31:48):
because you said you knew you wanted to have a
kid with Paula. But if it happens, great, if it
doesn't happen, okay, did you feel like.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Not necessarily incomplete?
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Because we were like very happy, okay, okay, enjoying the
first years of a relationship.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
Yeah, now okay, and then I guess.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
When it happened, it was like, oh, we are complete
in a new way. Okay, it's broaden the relationship. Now
we're a family.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Yeah, but how did you know, because that's fascinating to me.
I don't know what that feeling is right, right, and
so what is it to look at especially hearing it
from a man, What is it to look at someone
and go, I know, I want to have a child
with this person? What is that feeling like? Can you
speak a little more about that?
Speaker 1 (32:36):
I'm not sure. I just just guess you just know,
and you just kind of I just felt it, you know,
And I'm just like, this would be exciting and someone
I guess that you would want to go on that
journey with got you you know what I mean? Because
it is a long journey and sometimes very hard. Obviously
the pregnancy. Paula loved being pregnant and remembers that time
(33:00):
in her life very fondly. But it is very hard
for the girl. The guy's just chilling, like do you
need some water? One time, she's like, I need I
need cake.
Speaker 4 (33:14):
You get cake.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
I brought it to her and she was like, oh
my god. The case she like described she goes like
there's a layer of frosting on the top, which is amazing.
She just like wax poetical. But she paul had a
C section and daring it. I was like, I could
never do that, like women are the strongest, the stronger
(33:41):
sex by I mean, I would just be like and
just talk about it constantly, like, look at what's look
at what I'm doing?
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Do you see this? Do you see this? I took
the trash out? Did you see me taking.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Like we're gonna put all of your guts on a
what we take this baby out? Stuff him back in
and she's just like this little petite girl, just being
like on a roller.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
But you're describing as making me never want to have
a child. Yes, but I'm gonna have one one way
or the other. And where's the camera. I'm gonna see
to it now. I picture you with a little sun
two round.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
I mean I think you'd be an amazing mother to
either a son or a daughters. Yes, of course, for
some reason, I have these visions of you and this
little dude.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
You have foresight, Yes, tell me what else you see?
Speaker 1 (34:36):
I see him he's dressed cool. I see him wearing
like an interesting fashion choice, like sunglasses, and you being like,
I don't know what's going on with sunglasses. He loves him,
so I'm just don't But I told him he looks
absolutely weird.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
But he likes him, so I planted those seeds of insecurity.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Kind of funny. Yeah, yeah, I don't know why that's
the image.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
I love it. I love it. Well, okay, well, how
are you with Abbot's fashion choices? Do you care about fashion?
Speaker 1 (35:04):
If you know me? In fashion, I have two pairs
of jeans and four shirts, and you have.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Two pairs of shoes and two pairs of like being
back in middle school where you get like one pair.
Those are new.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Yeah, I'm not good with like adult stuff like that.
Like I'm so bad with fashion.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
But when I think of being a parent, though, I
think it's pretty damn adult. Do you think you're good
at being a dead honestly by your assessment, I do.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
I think Paula is the captain of the ship. Sure,
I love Paula fantastic mother. But I do think I'm
a good father.
Speaker 3 (35:40):
I do.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Spend so much time with him, and I love spending
time with him and will make sure, especially because sometimes
you will be at home and you'll be like, do
you want to play this in my room? And sometimes
you'll be tired and might not necessarily want to. I'm like,
I'm going to end up having fun, right, and that's
(36:04):
only in instances where you know, if you're just tired
and kind of want to iway, just make sure to
enjoy our time together and we play catch, which is
some of my best memories with just like playing catch
and pretending it's it we're in the throes of a
baseball game. He really likes sports. He's willing into soccer,
and he really likes like the drama of sports.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Yeah, there's not much.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Time left, right. Did you guys watch the Olympics play?
Speaker 1 (36:31):
Yeah, he loved it. He was all in gymnastics. He's like,
this is amazing. He was like, I can't believe they're doing.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
This right right, Look at the thus.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
You're doing young the Japanese team is. He was just
amazed that they look so young and we're just capable
of such feats of strength. Yeah, it is pretty fantastic.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
It is incredible. I got to see two and I
was jaw was on the floor.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
That woman is flying simoon bioles. That woman is fine.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
That is the fully in the sky legitimately, where you're.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Like, what just doing things and they're so just ripped
and so in control of their balance equilibrium.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
It's rekable. Gigantic amount like gigantic amounts of body awareness.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
I want will you please make sure that's.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
A gigantic amount of the I will actually will you
wear it? Will you add it to the rota?
Speaker 1 (37:28):
It needs to be small though you want to tidy anything.
I guess medium's fine. But you put me in a
large T shirt.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
I look thirteen, okay, I mean and right now you
look sixteen.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Yay.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Wait, you say you're a good dad. I love that.
And you said it is that kind of arrogant arrogant fact. No,
I think that's it's fantastic because I'm always I find
myself really curious about what constitutes being a good dad.
Interesting from your perspective, and based on what you just said,
it sounds like spending quality time together, which, by the way,
is a love language. Okay, yes, okay.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
Is learning him to know too that he can communicate
friends even if he thinks that we won't respond, well, like, yes,
we'll be We might be angry about something in the moment,
are annoyed, but it'll never have Your life is not over,
you know. We never want him to feel like like
(38:26):
trapped in something like for instance, like if you hated
your school. You know, you just couldn't. I mean, he
loves his school, sure, thankfully, but if he was ever
in a situation where like people are mean, we just
don't want him to feel like I'm trapped here. This
is my existence, right right, you can come to us
and we can. We can. It's like solve the problem,
(38:49):
right right, So definitely trying to open the channels of
communication and.
Speaker 5 (38:54):
Definitely trying to be like, what's up, you have any
crushes at schoolb Right, You're like, I'm sure he'd talk
with his friends more, but I think, yeah, so that
aspect of like communication and stuff.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
And I tried to Paula's she's read this book. I
should read it sounds really good. I don't even know
the name of it. It's this really cool book anyway.
It just and I'm paraphrasing and I'm sure giving a
very vague, not polished summary of one of the tenants
of this book, But it's all about like sharing personal
(39:34):
stories when you're during parenting milestones or aspects like lecturing
about something or they're going through something, rather than the
same old like well, you know what, I can't believe
that kid was mean to you because I think you're great,
or just being like, hey, when I was your age,
this kid did this or I remember I think it
(39:56):
was first grade. He had just started at a school.
He like kind of tripped and fell like in front
of the school, and I think he was bummed out.
But he was pretty young, so he wasn't like I'm
humiliated because he like scraped up his face. But then
but he also didn't love just completely face playing.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Right peer's new school.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
Yeah, but and then I just remember I shared, like, dude,
when I was in third grade, in the middle of class,
I fully vomited all over myself out of nowhere.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
And this is a true story. You have a sensitive tomb,
like what.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
Happened gigantic amounts of body.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
The front on the back, sensitive tomb.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
But anyway, I was just what but like mid day,
like around one or something.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
I was just like, you really remember that.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
I feel oh yeah, it's he felt he felt weird.
And literally, I think we're reading something as a class
so someone would.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Read, Yeah, we did popcorn reading sixth grade. We were
still doing popcorn reading.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Anyway, I was chilling in third grade and it was
just like so fast.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
It was just.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
And I just sat there paralyzed in fear, and I'm like,
maybe someone won't notice. And we sat in we sat
in clusters. Okay, okay, so like groups of four and
I was in a group with three girls and like
one girl was like looked up from her reading, like ew.
Michael threw up on himself and then it spread like wildfire.
(41:37):
And my teacher was like, okay, go to the office.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
And the poor trouble. Not the nurses, not the nurses officers,
I say, principal. And in the office, I was like,
what why are you trying to the office. That was
such a big deal in elementary is getting set to
the office.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
Oh yeah, oh my anyway, I threw your myself and
the teacher was like, Courtney, can you escort Michael to
the front office? And this poor girl had to walk
me from our class too. And this was in so
cal So it was outdoors, it was proper door and
then everything was out orange property.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Yeah for sure.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
So we're just walking to the front office and I
remember her like, well, at least like you get to
go home, I mean, you don't have to be at
school anymore, like trying to make the situation. I was like, thanks, anyway,
I didn't want to go to school. That it took
like a couple of days and I felt better I
didn't want to go did all this? Yeah, it's like
(42:40):
just trying to share personal anecdotes as much as possible.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Well, they say, though, by sharing personal anecdotes, who can
get someone else to also open up? That's part of
the like what encourages vulnerability as someone feeling like, Okay,
you've shared, so I can share.
Speaker 5 (42:54):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Did you just going back to your relationship with your
dad though? Did you feel like he shared personal anecdotes
or do you not know too much about his own
experience in school and growing up question?
Speaker 1 (43:07):
I think he told stories, but I don't remember any
stories of like man, when I went on a date
with a girl, like first that broad class, but none
of that, although that would be weird for anything that
I was going to say.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Do dads talk to their sons about That's not no
do Anyway.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
My dad was talking about one of his ex girlfriend's breasts,
as all duds do.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
I don't know if all dads do, but again, don't
know what dads do. That's why I'm talking to you guys, now,
did you that made me sad? No is that sad.
I don't want people to feel sad.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
I don't want to how to night positive? You were like,
but I don't know what dad's.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Do I don't. I'm so fascinating.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
Is there a specific time growing up there?
Speaker 2 (43:48):
I'll be asking the question, do not ask me any questions.
I'll be asking the questions. Hell fucking know, just what.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Specific time that you remember being like?
Speaker 2 (44:00):
I really wish I had no and no And that's sincerely.
I know the movies would suggest otherwise, And I've tried
to discern for myself if it's a function of the
fact that my parents got divorced when I was a
literal baby, so there I didn't have the experience of like, oh,
a dad and he was in our house and now
dad's moved out because parents got divorced. So I was like,
(44:22):
I don't know if it's that. I don't know if
it's because I did have so many uncles and male
figures in my life that I didn't feel the neglect.
I don't know if it's a function of my faith.
So I don't know. I've wondered why I don't feel
like the movies say I'm supposed to feel.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
I'm like, I don't feel that, like you're constantly needing
a reckoning.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Right, And I wouldn't be ashamed if I did. It
would make almost more sense to me if I did.
But no, I don't. I'm so fascinated by dads because
I feel like I don't know what they with the dad. Yeah,
I just don't know what a life with a dad
is like and how mine would look different. I'm fascinated
(45:03):
to hear from people what their experiences are with their
dads and what they are like as dads, which obviously
is the whole premise of the podcast. But I'm like,
it's just a fascinating exchange to me because I'm like.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Child with a gentleman and it's a boy, as you said,
and you're just watching him with your child, Like what
are you that's are you fathering?
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Yes? I mean, but the thing is And then I
saw it. I did to be fair too, because even
as I say that, and people like my cousin, I'm
two nieces, so my brother is a dad, very present dad.
My I did see present dads, right, So like, I
guess I'm being hyperbolic when I'm like, I don't know
what dads do. I think the best, the more accurate
(45:47):
thing for me to say is like, oh, I'm curious
what my life would be have been, like yeah, with
a dad, But I'm and I'm more curious to hear
about people's relationships with their dads because I think they
can be complicated. Yeah, and those are like, that's just
an interesting dynamic to me. But do you care if
Abbot counts you as like a friend? Does that matter
(46:09):
to you?
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Interesting? I mean, we do a lot of we'll play
video games together and stuff, But I think ultimately it's
you know, it's good for them to view you as
a parent, you know what I mean. Although I think
it's fun to do stuff that friends would do, like
play video games and so like share parts of his
(46:31):
life that you would share with friends.
Speaker 2 (46:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:33):
Yeah, but ultimately, you know, it gets weird if you're like,
we're just friends, man, and hey, don't do that right? Right?
Or do this?
Speaker 5 (46:42):
Ye?
Speaker 1 (46:42):
This is why that's important.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Yeah, between you and Paula like one or who's more
of the disciplinarian And do you have a disciplinarian bone
in your body?
Speaker 1 (46:52):
Definitely? In terms of dude, clean up your dishes, don't
just leave them out here.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
I see I have to do it.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
You will, yeah, I mean there'll be moments of where
it gets you know serious. I remember one time I
haven't yelled that much. I just remember once yelling. It
was about like, I don't know, probably something with shut
off the iPad. You've had enough games. Remember raising my
(47:23):
voice and seeing him just kind of go, whoa, this
is new. And I could see it in his eyes like, oh,
he'll remember, you know, those weird memories from childhood you have.
I'm like, oh, he'll remember that. I can tell you
could just see it like in print within his brain,
like firing off. But I mean, if I have raised
(47:48):
my voice, like a few minutes later, it'll be like, hey,
this is why I raised my voice, you know, and
kind of in a calmer environment, just kind of reckon that.
Speaker 2 (48:02):
Yeah, that first time when you saw like you saw
it in his eyes him go, oh my gosh, that's different.
I've never had Dad engage with me that way. Did
you feel like worried, remorse? Like, what did you feel
like if that's the first time you've done it for me,
I can imagine I'm like, oh, no, have I damaged
this first? Like, what did you feel that doesn't have
(48:23):
to be your answer, but I'm like, or did you know, Hey,
we'll have a conversation later.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
I wasn't too worried because it wasn't like insane, It
wasn't like throwing stuff. It was just kind of like,
you know, coming out of moment where I don't know,
there'll be moments where kids are like try and test you,
like sure, they're coming into their own They're like, I'm
gonna try this out.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
Whatever, like teasing, disrespect the boundary. They gotta find the
boundary line. That's what happens every living creature.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
It was born out of one of those moments.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
Okay, so that's why I So then you felt it
wasn't too intentional. And I'm not even trying to paint
that picture. But if you like saw it, did you
saw it and you were like it's fine, I'm like, good,
he's just going to remember you can't cross that line?
Speaker 1 (49:07):
Is that you never love like a moment where you
kind of yell, but it was just more kind of fascinating, like, oh,
he'll I could tell oh, he'll remember that.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
Do you remember ever your dad raising his voice and
the moment where you go, oh, I can't cross this
line or this is where the boundary falls.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
So I remember he would sneeze really loudly. That was
his way of remember he said, Dad, burn it. I
don't know where that comes from, Like if he spills something, dad,
and you'd say that really burns me. I think I
heard him say shit a couple of times, like, but
(49:48):
it was always kind of like I'm using ship, you
know what I mean, like enough.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
Of this shit, Like I said shit, all right, So
you don't feel like you don't think that you ever
had a given that your dad was so mild man.
Speaker 1 (50:01):
And you don't.
Speaker 2 (50:02):
You're not really remembering a moment where you were like, oh,
that's a boundary and let me not cross that line
with him, right right, that's not sticking out to you.
I don't and that's okay, I think, So okay. Would
about sex by the way or no, no, I just.
Speaker 1 (50:19):
The internet wasn't really around. Yeah, so, but I just
knew we had like a we had like a health
unit in school. I remember my dad broaching the subject
like have you been taught about the ye you know,
between men and women. I'm like, yeah, I know, I know,
I'm good.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
You don't want to know everything that's it's okay? Is
eleven twelve eleven?
Speaker 1 (50:43):
Yeah, he knows they unit that.
Speaker 2 (50:45):
Unit should have you tried to talk to him about
any of that.
Speaker 1 (50:49):
I think it's come up like here and there, but
never like to in depth. But I think he'll like
ask questions or his friends will like talk about something. Sure,
like kids now have such access to but do.
Speaker 2 (51:05):
You broach the subject? And if you do try to
broach it okay? Then is he is he dismissive like
you were at the time, Like at his age, they're
like curious.
Speaker 1 (51:12):
And I think we do it. Anytime we would talk
about it, it's in a less awkward as least awkward
way as possible. It's not like, okay, like my dad
was pretty awkward with that kind of things. Okay, because
like no one likes this. I feel weird. I feel weird.
But I think we try to be just like casual
(51:35):
if we talk about it. It's not like we're walking
around the house talking about sex. But if it comes
up or like you know, in a we'll be watching
a movie, there'll be a line that like relates to something,
and it's like we'll just kind of explain it casually
rather than making it like taboo, because that's when I
think you start to run in to problems where it's
(51:57):
like sex is this secret bad things. Yeah, is when
you kind of it manifests in not a healthy way
when they're older. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
Yeah, I mean I have no I can't say for sure,
but I sure I feel like that makes sense. And
it's I feel like we are part of a generation
now that is more open in terms of the conversations
concerning sex, and it's not so wild to be more
forthcoming up in those conversations, right right, Yeah, do is
(52:29):
there something that's really important to you to impart.
Speaker 1 (52:31):
To abbit kindness which I think we've done well. Like
he's a very conscientious kid, like he will go out
of his way, or like I think to be very
empathetic and be like, no one wants to partner up
with this kid in this project, that I will go
(52:52):
out of my way. Yeah, things like that that we
hear and yeah, have good manners, be respectful and a
gentleman too. Yeah when he eventually wants to date. Yeah,
so that kind of thing. But it's mostly just like
to be a good person. Yeah, because in the there
(53:13):
were moments, especially you know in the beginning, like this
kid was mean to me, or this kid's like bullying,
you know, as all kids do. It's some point in
elementary school when they're younger and you try to be like,
but it just you're just repeating what your parents say.
But it's true. You're like, that's not about you, that's
about them. They're insecure, so you try and convey that
(53:38):
as much as possible. So we're I guess that's all
to say. We're just trying to make him a well rounded,
right kind, good person. But it's funny though. It's funny
all kids do this where they test you and it's
like I wasn't doing that. You're like you clearly, then
what happened? Did a ghost do it?
Speaker 2 (53:56):
I mean right? Maybe?
Speaker 1 (53:58):
And it's like you want me to be rather than
you leaving that in your room that a ghost came
in and did it?
Speaker 3 (54:06):
Right?
Speaker 2 (54:07):
Okay, So I end every episode of The Pods a
bad episode. I think it was a good episode, And.
Speaker 1 (54:14):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (54:15):
A good episode?
Speaker 1 (54:15):
But fatherly advice? Don't walk to your car too far
alone late at night? Oh right? Yeah, I mean how
can handle yourself? Yeah? I mean if I tried to
accost you late at night in a dark part of
the city. I think you would beat my ass. Sure, however, Sure,
just want to make sure you're safe.
Speaker 2 (54:36):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (54:36):
Don't do the thing of like, it's just a few blocks.
I can make it, okay, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (54:41):
Yes, that's how.
Speaker 1 (54:42):
It's too far just in an area. I don't know.
You would have to be discerning about that.
Speaker 2 (54:47):
Thanks, Mike.
Speaker 1 (54:48):
Wait, so how far sand that you deserve the best?
Don't settle Thanks bullshit, especially in any future relationships. Not
that that was your thing.
Speaker 2 (54:57):
I'm just saying, yes, No, I understand, like received, there's a.
Speaker 1 (55:01):
Lot of bullshit here. I guess I'll just have to
put up with it.
Speaker 2 (55:04):
No, the bullshit creeps up on you and then one
day you're like, oh, oh, little bullshit here, little bullshit there,
little bullshit there. Oh no, I'm sitting a bullshit Yeah
now it's I'm just surrounding. I'm breathing bullshit because it
crept up. But I do have to ask you a question,
because I actually really love what you just said about
not walking to my car late at night by myself.
Speaker 1 (55:24):
Or walking anywhere I obviously can walk alone. I don't know,
it's those judgment calls.
Speaker 2 (55:30):
Okay, but just be smart about it is what you're saying, okay,
And I appreciate that, Dad, I do. Here's a question,
because you said the thing about walking to my car.
I'll probably be getting a car soon again, when I'm
buying a car, do you have any advice on what
I should look out for? Like is there a way
I should test drive the car? Is there a dealership
(55:52):
I should go to, or dealership I should avoid? What's
your official.
Speaker 1 (55:56):
Word on the least car guy in the universe?
Speaker 2 (56:00):
Well, here, thank you. My questions don't always so the
questions the advice I ask for each okay, the advice
I ask from each Dad is not a function of
my thinking that Dad would be good at giving that advice.
And I say that was little to no respect for you.
Speaker 1 (56:21):
I don't respect you as a man, I don't respect
you as a father.
Speaker 2 (56:27):
So but I'm going to get a car soon and
you're the dad of the day and today, Dad, the
advice I need is on getting a car and what
I need to look out for, and any piece of
advice a dealership to go to, if you know a dealer,
if there's someone I should avoid because they're sneaky and
(56:48):
good job you're making it up. I'm really going to
buy a car.
Speaker 1 (56:53):
Well, any dealership you go to, it's going to be
the best car.
Speaker 2 (56:56):
Okay, right do you think so?
Speaker 1 (56:58):
Well, they're all going to be like all those others
whatever than this than this.
Speaker 2 (57:05):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (57:06):
I'm really swear I say that because I'm always really
swayed by that. Like whatever I'm in, I'm like, you're.
Speaker 2 (57:10):
Right, yeah, this Jim says it's the best, and Jim said.
Speaker 1 (57:14):
And then the next one is like, oh yeah, this
is actually I'll just buy whatever they're saying. Gullible Dad, Yes,
but I guess I would say yes. If there's a
car you like, get that one.
Speaker 2 (57:31):
That's your advice dad, that's your member. Okay, that's there's
a car I like, get you one? Okay.
Speaker 1 (57:38):
Is there a type of car you like?
Speaker 2 (57:40):
I love a range Rover?
Speaker 1 (57:42):
You do?
Speaker 2 (57:43):
I look like a BMW girl?
Speaker 1 (57:45):
More Audi?
Speaker 2 (57:46):
Thank you? I don't even know. Okay, Well, Mikey, that.
Speaker 1 (57:49):
Sounds like a song. I've got that Audi ass with
the beep.
Speaker 2 (57:55):
Going, keep going with them Toyota titties and in come on,
what's my waistline?
Speaker 1 (58:03):
Like, what's my I'm not saying you. I'm saying this
is a jo.
Speaker 2 (58:06):
I didn't think you were talking about my He's like,
I'm just I'm not commenting on her body. I'm talking
about oh god. Anyway, Mikey, this has been so fantastic.
I love you, dearly, Mikey. Okay, do you have anything
you want to plug? I love it this seriously, Mikey,
be serious.
Speaker 1 (58:23):
Ones and fifty coming.
Speaker 2 (58:24):
Up, Season fifty of Saturday Night Live.
Speaker 1 (58:27):
That's a big one.
Speaker 2 (58:27):
That's a big one, and it is coming up very
soon in.
Speaker 1 (58:30):
An interesting year.
Speaker 2 (58:31):
It's gonna fifty. Yeah, that's a big deal.
Speaker 1 (58:34):
Okay, big fiftieth celebrations. Okay, yeah, so it'll be a
fun season and the fiftieth celebration in February.
Speaker 2 (58:42):
Yes, okay, Mikey.
Speaker 1 (58:43):
I love you, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (58:45):
I'll wait you more.
Speaker 1 (58:46):
And I think you're wonderful and insanely talented and I
am in awe of you on the rag.
Speaker 2 (58:51):
Thank you, Mikey. Thanks Dat is a headgun podcast created
and hosted by me Aga Wodham. The show is produced
and edited by Anita Flores and engineered by Anita Flores
and Anya Kanevskaya, with executive producer Emma Foley. Katie Moose
is our VP of Content at Headgum. Thanks to Jason
Mathney for our show art and Farismonshi for our theme song.
(59:15):
For more podcasts by Headgum, visit headgum dot com, or
wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a
review on Apple Podcasts, and maybe, just maybe we'll read
it on a future episode.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Cardiac Cowboys
The heart was always off-limits to surgeons. Cutting into it spelled instant death for the patient. That is, until a ragtag group of doctors scattered across the Midwest and Texas decided to throw out the rule book. Working in makeshift laboratories and home garages, using medical devices made from scavenged machine parts and beer tubes, these men and women invented the field of open heart surgery. Odds are, someone you know is alive because of them. So why has history left them behind? Presented by Chris Pine, CARDIAC COWBOYS tells the gripping true story behind the birth of heart surgery, and the young, Greatest Generation doctors who made it happen. For years, they competed and feuded, racing to be the first, the best, and the most prolific. Some appeared on the cover of Time Magazine, operated on kings and advised presidents. Others ended up disgraced, penniless, and convicted of felonies. Together, they ignited a revolution in medicine, and changed the world.