November 23, 2022 • 37 mins
It's episode 108 and today it's Thanksgiving which means, given the baddies that we are, we aren't celebrating Thanksgiving (unless it's to our lord and savior Mariah Carey), we're celebrating Friendsgiving!
Sit back, relax (or cook or watch other people cook) and listen as we talk history and a reddit classic... am i the asshole.
Sit back, relax (or cook or watch other people cook) and listen as we talk history and a reddit classic... am i the asshole.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hi, it's Brittany and Winds andyou're listening to Thanks I Hate It,
a bi weekly social commentary podcast wheretwo friends shoot the shit about social issues,
parocheated on suspecting targets, and enjoythe rest of friends giving. I
don't know. I thought you weregoing to say something. That's so I
(00:22):
stopped and fuck up the intro.Clink clink up the intro. So despite
(00:44):
my fucking up the intro um,I did tell you guys what we are
talking about today. We are goingto be discussing friends gipping. One of
our friends is a little drunk inthe background right now, and that is
why she is singing, And sowe're gonna lead for there. Yeah,
she's singing her Christmas carols. I'minto it. I love it. Don't
sue us, we don't have money. Yeah, And are you really going
(01:06):
to sue a four year old who'sjust singing? She didn't even singing the
right words. So is it reallycopyright infringement if it's not the right words?
Which song is she singing? Pleasetell me God, which one are
you singing? Uh? It's thesong the mister Grint song, um favorite.
(01:26):
But today we're talking about friends giving. So we're going to give some
history and some etymology to the word. I think the apology. Yes,
I don't think that's psychology. Idon't think soogy care Um, we're gonna
give some meaning to the word,and then Windsor is going to give us
(01:51):
some more meaning to the words,a little bit of information on how it
got big and popular, and thenwe're gonna go into some other fun things.
So yeah, and it's all gonnabe short and sweet and like myself,
so we can well short, maybenot so sweet, but we're just
going to entertain you while you mixup the greens, or you mix up
(02:15):
you're mashing the potatoes m or you'reletting your rum the cinnamon, soaking your
rum for the coquito, but notthe egg nog, because that's just nancty.
I said what I said exact.We don't we stand both the side
everything we say. So our commentsare open this podcast. Yeah, and
(02:38):
our comments are open. I don'tdm us because that's weird. Yeah,
and I never checked them. We'vegot tons in there. I just don't
ever look at them like by peopleyou may know, probably don't actively.
I've just never spoken to them.If I'm being quite honest. But so
let's get into but let's get intothat is not a sentence. We're going
(03:00):
to get into friends giving right now, get into it. Yeah, So
a lot of people think that friendsis where we got the concept of Apparently
there was this high budget living singleand this show is where people think of
(03:21):
or what people think of when they'rethinking about friends givings. So it's a
bunch of people. So the whiteliving single, okay, yes, is
the white living single A bunch ofpeople that are not related by blood or
marriage get together and enjoy some foodtogether. This became part of Webster's Dictionary
Miriam Webster to be quite exact,and millennial culture as a whole exactly specifically
(03:47):
in twenty twenty, we were allconfined to our houses and so we're just
like, oh, we want tobe just like friends, and so we're
going to all get together and virtually, I guess in that context and that
actually brandsgiving, I don't think itwas a lot of It wasn't virtual,
and it was so big because theywere part of your pods, Like these
(04:10):
were people that you were with ona regular basis anyway, So it was
safer to be around them than goinghome to Grandma and you know, potentially
gain them sick. Yes, butI did actively just misspeak an entire sentence.
So what I meant to say wasfriends giving has been so big for
(04:32):
so long that in twenty twenty itbecame part of Marion Webster's dictionary. Yeah,
okay, that's what I meant tosay. So it's not that friends
giving became big in twenty twenty.It's that it was so big that the
dictionary said, you know what weare in there. So friends giving is
a compound word. If we rememberthese from fourth grade, elam, it's
(04:57):
as junction, junction, what's yourfunction? Conjunction? Conjunction, what's your
bunction? Hooking up words? Thatis not what friends giving means. Friends
Giving is a mashup of the wordfriends and the word thanksgiving, I know,
(05:20):
both of both of which are madeup things. Yes, um,
I wrote in my notes Thanksgiving isthe white holiday to get a large meal
eaten by friends together. What thefuck is it? I'm reading my notes,
you guys, and they don't makesense. So basically, friends giving
(05:41):
is a holiday or the unofficial holidaywhere a bunch of friends get together.
They bring food pot look style intoone space and then basically get fucked up,
have peeki have food. That typeof situation when your people you actually
to be around for Thanksgiving. That'sexactly what I was about to say.
(06:02):
So it is I think along theconcept lines of your chosen family, which
is not a it's not as meaningfulto everyone, but I do know that
it is meaningful two persons, Ibeing one of those yess and so getting
together with your chosen family to celebratethe day that theoretically white people genocided all
(06:30):
of the natives. So I actuallyhad a note about chosen the family and
exactly what is a chosen family?So chosen family is are there a non
biological kinship bond. And this iswhether it is legally recognized or not.
And it is deliberately chosen for thepurpose of mutual support and love. And
(06:54):
some of us have had perfectly healthychildhoods. Some of us have had not
so healthy childhoods, but great families, and we love our families and we
want to spend time with our families. You can still have a chosen family
as well. There's no law thatsays that just because you had good parents
means that you can't have a chosenfamily, But there are so many of
(07:15):
us that still to this day areexiled from their blood family, and their
chosen family is all the family theyhave. And so sitting around a table
with two or ten of your closestfriends can feel more welcoming and affirming more
(07:35):
than any table that you share withyour actual kin. Phone absolutely, and
so in episode one we talked aboutepisode two maybe two, yeah it was
episode two. We talked about thepresentation of ourselves and then that of ourselves
that we keep for select few.So we have ourselves that we present to
(07:57):
the world, ourselves that we presentat work, and then you know,
it tapers back till we get tothe point that it's just the self that
we have for ourselves and we don'tshow that part of us to anyone.
Being with your chosen family or yourfriends during a friend's giving may be less
stressful. I mean, sometimes it'snot possible to be with that biological or
(08:20):
that legal family, but if itis, and you need an opportunity to
not have to put on all ofthose layers of armor to walk into a
fucking meal with Aunt Carol and andracist grand Mary Bella and guy's old honey,
no buck her and her racist assbitch. But also on that same
(08:45):
token, like you said, sothat people can't go home, So,
especially people who move away for work, Thanksgiving is not a very easy holiday
to travel for, especially if youlive across the country, especially if you
are just starting out at your jobor unless you're in college, it's kind
(09:05):
of almost impossible to just go home. And even then, if you're working,
you can't just get up and gobecause especially jobs that you're going to
have around then, you're going tobe required to probably work on Friday.
So the friends giving it makes itmakes it easier because it doesn't have to
be on Thanksgiving. So your friendscan all pick a date that works great
(09:28):
for you. Guys. Shit,it could be in December, it could
be in October, it doesn't matter. Whatever works for everybody. Let's have
some food, right, because it'san opportunity to celebrate a day that theoretically
we should all be giving thanks.I don't really want to say giving thanks
because it is a day of genocide. I'm giving thanks to our Lord and
(09:52):
Savior the Turkey. No, Idon't even know who our Lord is.
Savior is is it Beyonce or isit Rihanna this year? I'm thinking neither
because both of them are billionaires.So you know what, we are giving
thanks for our Lord and Savior,Mariah Carey, because the next day starts
Christmas. Christmas started um on Novemberfirst. Mariah told us, I don't
(10:16):
know where you were, but sheactively put that out into the universe.
My Christmas tree is up for themost Mine would have been up too,
but it's up. It's just notdecorated yet. We had an accident with
it, and so I try something, you get a new one. He's
actually out doing that for you.Exactly. So a lot of people,
like I said in the beginning,assume that friends giving came from the show
(10:37):
Friends because they were a bunch ofwhite friends that got together. And theoretically
people like to think that it's abunch of white friends that get together for
friends giving. You're frong. Thatis not true. That's the ones that
are extra and go on the Graham. Exactly. Anybody can celebrate friends giving.
It is all inclusive. So anybodycan celebrate friends giving. But more
(11:05):
than just anybody being able to celebratefriends giving, that misconception, the other
misconception is that the terminology came fromthe show Friends. It did not.
In fact, the terminology, accordingto Daddy Dictionary, the terminology for the
word friends giving was actually the resultof a two thousand and seven chat room
(11:26):
post. At some points in myresearch it was labeled as a tweet,
but it was in fact a chatroom post, and what the poster stated
was happy friends giving, y'all.And that was the beginning of a phenomenon
(11:48):
that two thousand and seven twenty Whereis their pulitzer? I don't know,
but we find them freedom, wenominate them. Come on, Joseph,
do something. Come on, Brandon, let's go out in a good way.
So popularity was gained along the way, and ultimately it became the cultural
(12:11):
phenomenon that it is today because sometimes, like I said, you can't go
home to your family. Sometimes youdon't want to go home to your family.
Foods cheap this week, so buyit. But yeah, that's the
beginning of friends giving, that's theinitial origins. So we did quickly talk
about chosen family, but we justalso want to remember, we want to
(12:37):
make sure everybody out there remembers ratheris that it is okay to put foundaries
in place with your family, correctas soon as it is safe for you
to do so, or until you'refinancially able to do so. You know,
we're you're still kind of stuck withthem, but it is okay to
put boundaries. And once you areat a point in your life where you
(12:58):
kind I don't have to play nicewith them anymore. It is okay to
skip those family meals if it isnot conducive to your mental health. You
had to put yourself first. Yes, Also Instagram, we're going on the
gram because and it's mostly white girlsyou'll see on there, because white girls
(13:18):
actually are really good at the Graham. Not me. I'm not good at
it, but am I am?Yes? Yes, So I wrote these
notes like two weeks ago, andat that point, Friends Giving had one
point seven million posts. Damn,friends Giving Dinner had almost nineteen thousand posts,
(13:41):
and there are about twenty to twentynine thousand posts on year specific tags
like friends Giving twenty twenty one,Friends twenty twenty got it, And I
will not be getting information from Twitterbecause Twitter right now, get ready for
the ship. Yeah, so I'mgonna check out that high You know they
(14:05):
have an edit button in there.You're telling me that this app can do
it, but Twitter couldn't. Iwould have purchased a Twitter plan that let
me edit if it was like twodollars a month anyway. But now I'm
not giving them nothing. I'm gonnaask me for my credit card information to
(14:28):
verify my identity. Bitch, youcan suck my day. You fucking kidding
me. That's where they started.Yeah, no, shut it down,
Shut it down. So let's talkabout some fun things that you can do
at this year's friends giving. Sofirst and foremost party like a rock star.
(14:52):
Yes, the last one I wentto was literally prior two point zero.
It was at Mary's house, Mary'shouse with her old roommate. Yes,
when I was in fucking Nebraska.You were supposed to work, you
were supposed to go, but Nebraskareally says fuck you, Brittany. That
was racism. And even though wedidn't really know most of the people,
(15:16):
we still had a blast. Cosmosays that you can make it a pajama
party because I guess what, nobodywants to wear those tight ass pans on.
Thanksgim so just starting to wear yourpajamas all day, Get comfortable.
Just don't wear your outside slippers yourinside slippers outside. You can wear your
(15:41):
outside slippers and then bring your insideslippers to wear inside the house, or
just wear your socks, but justdon't don't wear your shoes in other people's
houses. Yeah, that's nasty.And so this Cosmo article they recommended being
kids again. They recommend that youcould be kids again. And you can
(16:03):
make can turkeys out of foam kitslike I honestly like hikey, you want
to do it now? Like wine, arts and crafts and food like fuck?
Yeah. You can also do aDIY photo booth with silly decorations.
What what what get? Oh you'remaking those at school? Awesome. You
(16:33):
can make a DIY photo booth withsome silly decorations and get some good riding.
You can start watching all those horribleChristmas movies, oh, like the
one where she should have dated Aubrey. Can't believe you brought that up.
You can make it a brunch andlisten, that's what I'm talking about,
(16:56):
brunch, Mimosias arts. It's notbrunch, Mimosa's arts and crafts, pajamas
and Christmas movies, and I canstill be home by eight. I like
that listen. That's where it isright there. And finally, this one
is honestly my favorite to do withany party is minute to win it.
(17:17):
Those fucking little mini challenges are hystericaland you love them. I do.
Have you ever done them? Now? There's so much Like there's one I
saw, there's one that I sawon TikTok Adam died at d Adam Adam
died Atam d Adam die. Okay, So basically you tie like a Christmas
(17:44):
ornament like around your waist like soit like hangs like you put the thing
and then you have a cup that'slike taped to your stomach and you kind
of have to swing it, okay, like a dick and balls basically is
what it. And then to getit in the cup. You know,
we're always so close and then youjust pull me right back to dick and
(18:04):
balls. All right, Olivia,all right, so before we wrap up,
we're going to be done in tenminutes. No I knew that that.
I'm counseling that, all right.So I got some am I the
(18:26):
assholes? Okay, so I haveI have not actually read these, but
um reddit has already graded them.So my first one am I the asshole
for uninviting friends to friends giving overcomments they made on a video I posted.
(18:48):
So I currently live in a foreigncountry and I have a group of
friends who also move for work,et cetera, and we all have no
family where we currently live and becomesomewhat of a family or selves. Every
year we have a big friends giving, and this year it was my turn
to host my husband, and myhusband and I had our first child this
past winter. We were the firstones in the friend group to have a
(19:11):
child, and while one of theother couples is currently pregnant, no one
else is really at that stage intheir life or straight up interested in having
kids just valid. So I reallystruggled with PPD, which was partly exacerbated
by being away from my family andpartly because I got pregnant unexpectedly and only
found out five months in and she'shealing from PCOS. So I felt like
(19:36):
I didn't have enough time to closeout my old life and move consciously and
intentionally into motherhood. Yeah, myhusband and I always planned to have kids,
but there were some things on ourbucket list that we intended to do
first. Plus I wanted to getan optimal help before we tried to conceive.
Because I was how I was feeling, I made a TikTok video back
in February using this audio this thatI love being your mother, but I
(19:57):
miss her, with photos of mytraveling and whatnot, pretty baby. I
posted it and a few of ourold friends were back home related to the
sentiment, and literally nothing came ofit until I woke up last week and
there were all these comments on myvideo from some of my local friends.
They were mostly friends who had nointention of ever having kids, who were
mocking me for having a baby andbasically calling me a shitty mom who should
(20:18):
have had an abortion if I hatedbeing a mother so much. I flipped
out and was angry and confused atwhy this was all coming out. Months
later, I took screenshots and sentup to the group chat and they said
they were no longer welcome up andsaid they were no longer welcome at my
house. Your friend group is dividedbetween those who thought their comments were rooted
and called for, and those whothink because I posted a public video that
I shouldn't be surprised and I getcriticism, you are not the asshole,
(20:47):
and I'll fight every single one ofyour friends. Those aren't friends. Those
are terrible people. Because here's something. You can think whatever you want to
think about somebody. But once yougo ahead put it out there, also
out there and she has a rightto respond in that way. Yeah,
and or maybe you could have beenlike, oh, um, I didn't
(21:08):
realize you were feeling that way.Did you want to talk? Because and
also if you never have intentions ofhaving kids, stay out of mother's business.
Yeah, Like, I listen.I respect the choices that people make
(21:29):
not wanting to have kids. Yourchoices are valid, and you know what
you do. You but when youdon't have kids, you don't get to
come at a parent for their feelingson being a parent, right because you
don't know you're not a fucking parent, So mind your non parent ass business.
Right, Yeah, not the asshole, And I know that the same
(21:52):
thing. Yep, not the asshole. All right, let's see. Wow,
Am I the asshole for not lettingmy friend use my oven during friends
giving? No? Is she homeless? So for the past six years,
me and my friends have gotten togetherfor a friends giving. It started because
(22:14):
most of our friends were not ableto travel during the holidays. We said.
Recently, my partner and I movedfrom an apartment to a small but
spacious house, so I offered tohost this year. I did this for
two reasons Firsus, I want toshow off our new place, and two
because we would have plenty of spaceto everyone. This has been an issue
in the past, as a partynormally consists of about fifteen to eighteen people.
(22:36):
Now this is where the big problemcomes in. Our friend, let's
call her Kay, is a professionalchef. In his cooked turkey for all
the past couple of years. Animportant note, Kay has an amazing stove
and oven in her house, soI thought she would be cooking the turkey
in But after a couple of textsthis morning, I learned that Kay was
planning on using our tiny kitchen forthe day. I tried to explain that
our kitchen is really small and thatour oven does not super well. This
(23:00):
is partly true, but I alsodid not want Kay taking up the whole
kitchen. An important note is thatshe has done She has done both cooking
in the host kitchen and bring aturkey from her home and for a past
friends Giving. When I asked ifshe could just cook it at her house.
She told me that you can eitherlet me cook it in your kitchen
or I'm not coming this year.Now, this would not be a problem
(23:21):
if it was someone who brought rolesor someone other than K. But Ka
makes an amazing turkey, and allof our other friends, let's call him
Jay, has a crush on Kand will not come off Ka baals.
If Jay bailes, will also payto cascade to people wind a bail which
is not something that I really want. I told Kay that she is an
asshole for putting me in this situation, and Kay told me the turkey is
(23:44):
always a pain in the ass tomove. Just let me use her of
it for the day or I'm notcoming. Kay followed up with you would
really be an asshole for ruining thesix year tradition. My partner is not
confrontational. It says that we're bothbeing assholes and making mountains out of mole
hills and the same fucket and lettingKay use the kitchen. But they also
feel like I'm being gassolt. Yeah, I feel like this. What's that
(24:07):
option? It's like everything sucks hereor whatever. Redditt said, She's the
asshole, She's the asshole. Well, they're both assholes, but honestly,
this sounds like a lot of everyonein that story. That's what it's.
That's what it's is. I feellike she may be mad and embellishing what
(24:29):
her friend is saying. I feellike she's just like, well, basically
she told me if you know,like those um she's those TikTok's where it's
like, oh, you just saidthat you hate me. I didn't say
that. I said you can't havethe last oh cookie, that's the same
thing. Because here's the thing,if we're being quite honest, I mean,
(24:52):
I know she's got a small kitchen, but people do it every day.
Yeah. And here's the thing aboutif turkey does take the priority.
Yeah, turkey does take priority.And it basically she's in there, like
you know, I wouldn't give abuck if she comes or not, and
she was just bringing rolls, butI want her to cook the turkey.
Yeah, so unless you want tomake that turkey. I do think if
(25:15):
her friend was that aggressive with it, then it's not cool. But I
think that they're both being assholes topetty assholes to each other. But I
feel like this is only one halfof the story. And I feel and
I feel like with most times thatthere's a he says, she say,
it's embellished. Okay, where areyou? We need to hear the other
(25:36):
part of this story. Seriously,so one person said, First of all,
you are not being gasslet please lookup the term. Second, I
was thinking the same thing before youmentioned. Kay said it. Wow,
it must be a gigantic pain tolook that entire turkey from one house to
another one. It's already cooked andkeep it hot. Let her use your
oven? Have other friends? Sayare your friends right? I mean,
(25:56):
and they can come out and helpout after a shared of if necessary,
I'll clean up the mess with that'swas bothering you. If the oven doesn't
work great and the turkey comes outhalf cooked, that's not your problem.
You already warned k about that.Yeah, but basically her reddit was just
really mad. I think that theyshe said, yeah this she was being
(26:17):
gas lit. Yeah, I knowhow rudd it feels about gaslighting. I
kind of my thought on it wasshe clearly doesn't know what gas lighting means,
but I'm not going to be theone to tell her. So am
I the asshole for not having funat friends? Giving. I was recently
sober, Sally at friends giving,no worries. I can have fun sober,
(26:40):
also just fun to watch others getdrunk and stop making sense. So
we eat dinner and where I sayI do not like sweet potatoes or potatoes
in general. Can we even trustthis bitch? No? I bring out
my pumpkin cheesecake for dessert. Itis delicious and orange. One of the
girls call her SB for selfish bitch. That's why I made something with sweet
(27:03):
potatoes if I don't like them.I said I do not like sweet potatoes
and never made anything with them.Pimp my pumpkin cheesecake and SB takes a
bite and she says, wow,I can't believe I can't even taste the
sweet potato. No, shit,looks like I did some the rightist.
There's no sweet potatoes in it.She's so mad. Why isn't she so
(27:29):
bad? She's so mad? Seriously, bitch calmed down and having good friends.
Later, we start playing games,all laughing, having fun. SB
keeps talking about her star sign andhow it makes sense for her to always
need to be right, not lettinggo of things and being uptight. I
stopped listening at that point, No, your archeological sign. It's not an
(27:52):
excuse for being a ship person onlycares about themselves. As a college educated
and master's degree owner, one withthink that they would know better than to
use astrological science as their argument.I took my phone out and started playing
Frozen free Fall. Thanks to myniece for downloading that onto my phone.
Clearly she's the asshole. Clearly she'shere. Also like, why are you
(28:15):
so worried about? What did thisgirl do to you? Like? Clearly
fucked her man or her woman,or just she's jealous of her for something
really pressed? She's very are pressed? Are you mad? Are you?
Actually? We don't ask because weknow she is hub because you like,
(28:37):
nobody show you love. There's stillon there. Paragraph Oh last, SB
starts talking about miscarriages, ASBI saysShe's never had one, nor have any
of us, but we need totalk about them more. Why the fuck
would we exclamation question mark. Weare here to have fun and not talk
about something none of us have gonethrough. Cannot emp thighs with I mean,
(29:00):
if she had had one, yes, we would all be there and
comfort her to the best of ourability, But none of us has had
one. I stopped and told myfriend I drove with it, it's time
to go. I felt like beinga I felt bad for being a wet
blanket, but I was over theinsane amount of selfish bitchiness. Shatty.
Shotty, you are the only onewith self effish and bitchiness and shatty.
(29:22):
She does have a point that peopleshould talk about miscarriages more because of how
common they are, that people wouldrealize that they're not alone. Also,
so I do, and some butalso friends giving that might not be the
best setting. But also she wasprobably fucking wasted and just thinking about it
(29:45):
like it's not a big deal,It's not the end of the world.
Also, she was playing some Frozenfree Fall on her phone thanks to her
knees who downloaded it. So maybeshe missed the segue into that conversation because
she was being a bitch and ignoringeverybody. True. So yeah, she's
clearly the asshole. Clearly the asshole. Clearly the asshole. What a big
(30:06):
asshole like? It was literally peoplelike copy and paste it because they knew
it was gonna be a dirty delete. And I said, you're the asshole,
college educated owner this in part whyyou should never argue from a standpoint
of authority, like like what abitch? What a bit? Throw a
(30:30):
little slang in it. We coulddo a little chitty chat. Am I
the asshole for refusing to go tofriends giving after my boyfriend bought a pie?
I can't eat. My boyfriend twentyone male, and I nineteen female.
We're going to a small friends givingtonight, mostly his friends. I
(30:51):
can't eat a single one at anyI can't eat a single thing that anyone
is bringing because of religious ethical dietaryrestrictions. I was planning on bringing food
for myself that I could eat,since my boyfriend one to go and we
were going to bring a pie foreveryone. I told him that I would
make it and I get the ingredients. But he called me and said that
he was just going to go tothe store and asked what he needed to
(31:14):
get. I told him just geta pie crust and told him while he
could find it in in specific store, although he could get one almost anywhere.
Instead, he came home from abakery with a whole pie that I
couldn't even eat because he said thestore was too far away. The bakery
was as far away as the grocerystore, and he knew that he didn't
(31:36):
need to worry about the pie inthe first place, because I was going
to do everything. I don't understandwhy he had to go out of his
way to buy something I can't havewhen he wouldn't have even had to lift
a finger for the pumpkin pie thatI was making. It completely excludes me
from having anything except for the lunchboxI was going to bring for myself,
which he knew. I felt hurtand told him that I'm not coming anymore.
(31:56):
He said that I can go tothe store on myself and still bake
the pie that I was playing too, and we could bring both. These
friends always have gatherings and never oncegotten anything that I can eat. I
don't even have that many restrictions tomy diet, so it is super easy
and often cheaper to buy something Ican have. I don't want to pay
for a second food for them justto spend time making it when I can
(32:17):
never eat and eat the food,especially after my boyfriend just went out of
his way to make sure that Ican't even eat what we're already bringing.
He is upset that I'm not coming, but I don't want to go anywhere
or there's nothing for me to do. She's nineteen. Yeah, I could
be the asshole for refusing it togo because I ate the pie after I
already agreed to be there and hada plan for how I could have eaten
(32:39):
it. So edit for clarification becausethere's not enough info. Is this is
rated? She edits that she neveronce asked for accommodations, but but I'm
annoyed that I'm expected to pay fortheir food or bring food for them while
they are never to do this,saying for me, I haven't prepared food
(33:01):
yet because I have been at schooland work. I was planning to do
it after work. This is acommon occurrence with this group of friends.
Every time there's a gallon they're gathering. I spend lots of time and money
making food to share with everyone,So I'm not even reading the rest.
She is not the asshole. Herboyfriend and his bitch ass friends are the
assholes. Because it is not hardto accommodate somebody's religious dietary. Melissa kept
(33:28):
a half kosher kitchen at my babyshower. She did. I want to
know what her restrictions are because mythought is what is going into this food
that you can't eat? But forexample, if it's like made with vanilla,
(33:49):
because if it has the alcohol inthe vanilla. If she's Muslim,
she's not supposed to If she's she'snot supposed to eat that. So like,
but it's every thing like and shesays so, So I'm just curious.
So I'm not saying she's the asshole. I'm just it's also ethical dietary
restriction. Yeah, that vegan.But here's the thing, though, Olivia,
(34:12):
can can you just for five minutesso we could finish and then you
can sing to your little heart's content. So here's the thing, though,
if I'm inviting someone to my home, I won't go out of my way
to make a full course of everythingthat that person one person can eat when
there's gonna be twenty people who eatsomething more. But I'll make sure there
(34:35):
is a plate for them, there'ssomething that they can consume. And so
I definitely get that. I dothink it sucks that she has to bring
her own food everywhere. I alsothey're very young, but like, the
boyfriend is an asshole because he reallycould have just gotten the fucking pie crust
that she asked for, like he'sa fucking man. Yeah, what does
(35:00):
she expect latently disregarding Harry Leaves?Regardless of whether they're religious or ethical.
As a partner to someone, youshould be respecting those boundaries that they have
set forth. And somebody's dietary restrictionsare a huge boundary, regardless of whether
it is for an allergy, itis for a religion, or because you
(35:22):
want to save the animals. No, and I definitely agree with that.
I do think that she's not theasshole in this situation. He clearly is.
I think that she just needs tothrow the whole man away and start
over. Yeah. I was gonnasay throw the pie away, but honestly
throw the man away too. Hebought it, he could take it in.
Go on, go on, shallyou're going to sleep on a fucking
(35:43):
couch and eat that pieless And it'sonly for two days ago. I think
I'm gonna make an account just toum to reply to that. I need
to go find that because here's thething. I looked up Jordan Peterson once
and now I just keep getting JordanPeterson and stuff and Reddit and it's making
me MoMA's idle. Yes all right, guys, everyone have a happy and
(36:07):
healthy holiday. May or greens benot too overcooked and Mary Dam's hit just
right. May your sweet potato piebe bussing Jane, and your mashed potatoes
be nice and creamy. Is itbusting, Jane, it's busting. May
your turkey be moist, Brian,Brian, Brian. And if you're frying
it, please make sure that it'snot frozen, and make sure that that
(36:29):
fire is away from your house now. And also may you catch that deal
and may you catch them z's.We love you and we'll see you in
December December. And also remember thatyou're that bitch, will forever be that
bitch. Drink your water and mangagood no Ganja, oh that too,
(36:57):
Manja and ganja mm two
Hi, it's Brittany and Winds andyou're listening to Thanks I Hate It,
a bi weekly social commentary podcast wheretwo friends shoot the shit about social issues,
parocheated on suspecting targets, and enjoythe rest of friends giving. I
don't know. I thought you weregoing to say something. That's so I
(00:22):
stopped and fuck up the intro.Clink clink up the intro. So despite
(00:44):
my fucking up the intro um,I did tell you guys what we are
talking about today. We are goingto be discussing friends gipping. One of
our friends is a little drunk inthe background right now, and that is
why she is singing, And sowe're gonna lead for there. Yeah,
she's singing her Christmas carols. I'minto it. I love it. Don't
sue us, we don't have money. Yeah, And are you really going
(01:06):
to sue a four year old who'sjust singing? She didn't even singing the
right words. So is it reallycopyright infringement if it's not the right words?
Which song is she singing? Pleasetell me God, which one are
you singing? Uh? It's thesong the mister Grint song, um favorite.
(01:26):
But today we're talking about friends giving. So we're going to give some
history and some etymology to the word. I think the apology. Yes,
I don't think that's psychology. Idon't think soogy care Um, we're gonna
give some meaning to the word,and then Windsor is going to give us
(01:51):
some more meaning to the words,a little bit of information on how it
got big and popular, and thenwe're gonna go into some other fun things.
So yeah, and it's all gonnabe short and sweet and like myself,
so we can well short, maybenot so sweet, but we're just
going to entertain you while you mixup the greens, or you mix up
(02:15):
you're mashing the potatoes m or you'reletting your rum the cinnamon, soaking your
rum for the coquito, but notthe egg nog, because that's just nancty.
I said what I said exact.We don't we stand both the side
everything we say. So our commentsare open this podcast. Yeah, and
(02:38):
our comments are open. I don'tdm us because that's weird. Yeah,
and I never checked them. We'vegot tons in there. I just don't
ever look at them like by peopleyou may know, probably don't actively.
I've just never spoken to them.If I'm being quite honest. But so
let's get into but let's get intothat is not a sentence. We're going
(03:00):
to get into friends giving right now, get into it. Yeah, So
a lot of people think that friendsis where we got the concept of Apparently
there was this high budget living singleand this show is where people think of
(03:21):
or what people think of when they'rethinking about friends givings. So it's a
bunch of people. So the whiteliving single, okay, yes, is
the white living single A bunch ofpeople that are not related by blood or
marriage get together and enjoy some foodtogether. This became part of Webster's Dictionary
Miriam Webster to be quite exact,and millennial culture as a whole exactly specifically
(03:47):
in twenty twenty, we were allconfined to our houses and so we're just
like, oh, we want tobe just like friends, and so we're
going to all get together and virtually, I guess in that context and that
actually brandsgiving, I don't think itwas a lot of It wasn't virtual,
and it was so big because theywere part of your pods, Like these
(04:10):
were people that you were with ona regular basis anyway, So it was
safer to be around them than goinghome to Grandma and you know, potentially
gain them sick. Yes, butI did actively just misspeak an entire sentence.
So what I meant to say wasfriends giving has been so big for
(04:32):
so long that in twenty twenty itbecame part of Marion Webster's dictionary. Yeah,
okay, that's what I meant tosay. So it's not that friends
giving became big in twenty twenty.It's that it was so big that the
dictionary said, you know what weare in there. So friends giving is
a compound word. If we rememberthese from fourth grade, elam, it's
(04:57):
as junction, junction, what's yourfunction? Conjunction? Conjunction, what's your
bunction? Hooking up words? Thatis not what friends giving means. Friends
Giving is a mashup of the wordfriends and the word thanksgiving, I know,
(05:20):
both of both of which are madeup things. Yes, um,
I wrote in my notes Thanksgiving isthe white holiday to get a large meal
eaten by friends together. What thefuck is it? I'm reading my notes,
you guys, and they don't makesense. So basically, friends giving
(05:41):
is a holiday or the unofficial holidaywhere a bunch of friends get together.
They bring food pot look style intoone space and then basically get fucked up,
have peeki have food. That typeof situation when your people you actually
to be around for Thanksgiving. That'sexactly what I was about to say.
(06:02):
So it is I think along theconcept lines of your chosen family, which
is not a it's not as meaningfulto everyone, but I do know that
it is meaningful two persons, Ibeing one of those yess and so getting
together with your chosen family to celebratethe day that theoretically white people genocided all
(06:30):
of the natives. So I actuallyhad a note about chosen the family and
exactly what is a chosen family?So chosen family is are there a non
biological kinship bond. And this iswhether it is legally recognized or not.
And it is deliberately chosen for thepurpose of mutual support and love. And
(06:54):
some of us have had perfectly healthychildhoods. Some of us have had not
so healthy childhoods, but great families, and we love our families and we
want to spend time with our families. You can still have a chosen family
as well. There's no law thatsays that just because you had good parents
means that you can't have a chosenfamily, But there are so many of
(07:15):
us that still to this day areexiled from their blood family, and their
chosen family is all the family theyhave. And so sitting around a table
with two or ten of your closestfriends can feel more welcoming and affirming more
(07:35):
than any table that you share withyour actual kin. Phone absolutely, and
so in episode one we talked aboutepisode two maybe two, yeah it was
episode two. We talked about thepresentation of ourselves and then that of ourselves
that we keep for select few.So we have ourselves that we present to
(07:57):
the world, ourselves that we presentat work, and then you know,
it tapers back till we get tothe point that it's just the self that
we have for ourselves and we don'tshow that part of us to anyone.
Being with your chosen family or yourfriends during a friend's giving may be less
stressful. I mean, sometimes it'snot possible to be with that biological or
(08:20):
that legal family, but if itis, and you need an opportunity to
not have to put on all ofthose layers of armor to walk into a
fucking meal with Aunt Carol and andracist grand Mary Bella and guy's old honey,
no buck her and her racist assbitch. But also on that same
(08:45):
token, like you said, sothat people can't go home, So,
especially people who move away for work, Thanksgiving is not a very easy holiday
to travel for, especially if youlive across the country, especially if you
are just starting out at your jobor unless you're in college, it's kind
(09:05):
of almost impossible to just go home. And even then, if you're working,
you can't just get up and gobecause especially jobs that you're going to
have around then, you're going tobe required to probably work on Friday.
So the friends giving it makes itmakes it easier because it doesn't have to
be on Thanksgiving. So your friendscan all pick a date that works great
(09:28):
for you. Guys. Shit,it could be in December, it could
be in October, it doesn't matter. Whatever works for everybody. Let's have
some food, right, because it'san opportunity to celebrate a day that theoretically
we should all be giving thanks.I don't really want to say giving thanks
because it is a day of genocide. I'm giving thanks to our Lord and
(09:52):
Savior the Turkey. No, Idon't even know who our Lord is.
Savior is is it Beyonce or isit Rihanna this year? I'm thinking neither
because both of them are billionaires.So you know what, we are giving
thanks for our Lord and Savior,Mariah Carey, because the next day starts
Christmas. Christmas started um on Novemberfirst. Mariah told us, I don't
(10:16):
know where you were, but sheactively put that out into the universe.
My Christmas tree is up for themost Mine would have been up too,
but it's up. It's just notdecorated yet. We had an accident with
it, and so I try something, you get a new one. He's
actually out doing that for you.Exactly. So a lot of people,
like I said in the beginning,assume that friends giving came from the show
(10:37):
Friends because they were a bunch ofwhite friends that got together. And theoretically
people like to think that it's abunch of white friends that get together for
friends giving. You're frong. Thatis not true. That's the ones that
are extra and go on the Graham. Exactly. Anybody can celebrate friends giving.
It is all inclusive. So anybodycan celebrate friends giving. But more
(11:05):
than just anybody being able to celebratefriends giving, that misconception, the other
misconception is that the terminology came fromthe show Friends. It did not.
In fact, the terminology, accordingto Daddy Dictionary, the terminology for the
word friends giving was actually the resultof a two thousand and seven chat room
(11:26):
post. At some points in myresearch it was labeled as a tweet,
but it was in fact a chatroom post, and what the poster stated
was happy friends giving, y'all.And that was the beginning of a phenomenon
(11:48):
that two thousand and seven twenty Whereis their pulitzer? I don't know,
but we find them freedom, wenominate them. Come on, Joseph,
do something. Come on, Brandon, let's go out in a good way.
So popularity was gained along the way, and ultimately it became the cultural
(12:11):
phenomenon that it is today because sometimes, like I said, you can't go
home to your family. Sometimes youdon't want to go home to your family.
Foods cheap this week, so buyit. But yeah, that's the
beginning of friends giving, that's theinitial origins. So we did quickly talk
about chosen family, but we justalso want to remember, we want to
(12:37):
make sure everybody out there remembers ratheris that it is okay to put foundaries
in place with your family, correctas soon as it is safe for you
to do so, or until you'refinancially able to do so. You know,
we're you're still kind of stuck withthem, but it is okay to
put boundaries. And once you areat a point in your life where you
(12:58):
kind I don't have to play nicewith them anymore. It is okay to
skip those family meals if it isnot conducive to your mental health. You
had to put yourself first. Yes, Also Instagram, we're going on the
gram because and it's mostly white girlsyou'll see on there, because white girls
(13:18):
actually are really good at the Graham. Not me. I'm not good at
it, but am I am?Yes? Yes, So I wrote these
notes like two weeks ago, andat that point, Friends Giving had one
point seven million posts. Damn,friends Giving Dinner had almost nineteen thousand posts,
(13:41):
and there are about twenty to twentynine thousand posts on year specific tags
like friends Giving twenty twenty one,Friends twenty twenty got it, And I
will not be getting information from Twitterbecause Twitter right now, get ready for
the ship. Yeah, so I'mgonna check out that high You know they
(14:05):
have an edit button in there.You're telling me that this app can do
it, but Twitter couldn't. Iwould have purchased a Twitter plan that let
me edit if it was like twodollars a month anyway. But now I'm
not giving them nothing. I'm gonnaask me for my credit card information to
(14:28):
verify my identity. Bitch, youcan suck my day. You fucking kidding
me. That's where they started.Yeah, no, shut it down,
Shut it down. So let's talkabout some fun things that you can do
at this year's friends giving. Sofirst and foremost party like a rock star.
(14:52):
Yes, the last one I wentto was literally prior two point zero.
It was at Mary's house, Mary'shouse with her old roommate. Yes,
when I was in fucking Nebraska.You were supposed to work, you
were supposed to go, but Nebraskareally says fuck you, Brittany. That
was racism. And even though wedidn't really know most of the people,
(15:16):
we still had a blast. Cosmosays that you can make it a pajama
party because I guess what, nobodywants to wear those tight ass pans on.
Thanksgim so just starting to wear yourpajamas all day, Get comfortable.
Just don't wear your outside slippers yourinside slippers outside. You can wear your
(15:41):
outside slippers and then bring your insideslippers to wear inside the house, or
just wear your socks, but justdon't don't wear your shoes in other people's
houses. Yeah, that's nasty.And so this Cosmo article they recommended being
kids again. They recommend that youcould be kids again. And you can
(16:03):
make can turkeys out of foam kitslike I honestly like hikey, you want
to do it now? Like wine, arts and crafts and food like fuck?
Yeah. You can also do aDIY photo booth with silly decorations.
What what what get? Oh you'remaking those at school? Awesome. You
(16:33):
can make a DIY photo booth withsome silly decorations and get some good riding.
You can start watching all those horribleChristmas movies, oh, like the
one where she should have dated Aubrey. Can't believe you brought that up.
You can make it a brunch andlisten, that's what I'm talking about,
(16:56):
brunch, Mimosias arts. It's notbrunch, Mimosa's arts and crafts, pajamas
and Christmas movies, and I canstill be home by eight. I like
that listen. That's where it isright there. And finally, this one
is honestly my favorite to do withany party is minute to win it.
(17:17):
Those fucking little mini challenges are hystericaland you love them. I do.
Have you ever done them? Now? There's so much Like there's one I
saw, there's one that I sawon TikTok Adam died at d Adam Adam
died Atam d Adam die. Okay, So basically you tie like a Christmas
(17:44):
ornament like around your waist like soit like hangs like you put the thing
and then you have a cup that'slike taped to your stomach and you kind
of have to swing it, okay, like a dick and balls basically is
what it. And then to getit in the cup. You know,
we're always so close and then youjust pull me right back to dick and
(18:04):
balls. All right, Olivia,all right, so before we wrap up,
we're going to be done in tenminutes. No I knew that that.
I'm counseling that, all right.So I got some am I the
(18:26):
assholes? Okay, so I haveI have not actually read these, but
um reddit has already graded them.So my first one am I the asshole
for uninviting friends to friends giving overcomments they made on a video I posted.
(18:48):
So I currently live in a foreigncountry and I have a group of
friends who also move for work,et cetera, and we all have no
family where we currently live and becomesomewhat of a family or selves. Every
year we have a big friends giving, and this year it was my turn
to host my husband, and myhusband and I had our first child this
past winter. We were the firstones in the friend group to have a
(19:11):
child, and while one of theother couples is currently pregnant, no one
else is really at that stage intheir life or straight up interested in having
kids just valid. So I reallystruggled with PPD, which was partly exacerbated
by being away from my family andpartly because I got pregnant unexpectedly and only
found out five months in and she'shealing from PCOS. So I felt like
(19:36):
I didn't have enough time to closeout my old life and move consciously and
intentionally into motherhood. Yeah, myhusband and I always planned to have kids,
but there were some things on ourbucket list that we intended to do
first. Plus I wanted to getan optimal help before we tried to conceive.
Because I was how I was feeling, I made a TikTok video back
in February using this audio this thatI love being your mother, but I
(19:57):
miss her, with photos of mytraveling and whatnot, pretty baby. I
posted it and a few of ourold friends were back home related to the
sentiment, and literally nothing came ofit until I woke up last week and
there were all these comments on myvideo from some of my local friends.
They were mostly friends who had nointention of ever having kids, who were
mocking me for having a baby andbasically calling me a shitty mom who should
(20:18):
have had an abortion if I hatedbeing a mother so much. I flipped
out and was angry and confused atwhy this was all coming out. Months
later, I took screenshots and sentup to the group chat and they said
they were no longer welcome up andsaid they were no longer welcome at my
house. Your friend group is dividedbetween those who thought their comments were rooted
and called for, and those whothink because I posted a public video that
I shouldn't be surprised and I getcriticism, you are not the asshole,
(20:47):
and I'll fight every single one ofyour friends. Those aren't friends. Those
are terrible people. Because here's something. You can think whatever you want to
think about somebody. But once yougo ahead put it out there, also
out there and she has a rightto respond in that way. Yeah,
and or maybe you could have beenlike, oh, um, I didn't
(21:08):
realize you were feeling that way.Did you want to talk? Because and
also if you never have intentions ofhaving kids, stay out of mother's business.
Yeah, Like, I listen.I respect the choices that people make
(21:29):
not wanting to have kids. Yourchoices are valid, and you know what
you do. You but when youdon't have kids, you don't get to
come at a parent for their feelingson being a parent, right because you
don't know you're not a fucking parent, So mind your non parent ass business.
Right, Yeah, not the asshole, And I know that the same
(21:52):
thing. Yep, not the asshole. All right, let's see. Wow,
Am I the asshole for not lettingmy friend use my oven during friends
giving? No? Is she homeless? So for the past six years,
me and my friends have gotten togetherfor a friends giving. It started because
(22:14):
most of our friends were not ableto travel during the holidays. We said.
Recently, my partner and I movedfrom an apartment to a small but
spacious house, so I offered tohost this year. I did this for
two reasons Firsus, I want toshow off our new place, and two
because we would have plenty of spaceto everyone. This has been an issue
in the past, as a partynormally consists of about fifteen to eighteen people.
(22:36):
Now this is where the big problemcomes in. Our friend, let's
call her Kay, is a professionalchef. In his cooked turkey for all
the past couple of years. Animportant note, Kay has an amazing stove
and oven in her house, soI thought she would be cooking the turkey
in But after a couple of textsthis morning, I learned that Kay was
planning on using our tiny kitchen forthe day. I tried to explain that
our kitchen is really small and thatour oven does not super well. This
(23:00):
is partly true, but I alsodid not want Kay taking up the whole
kitchen. An important note is thatshe has done She has done both cooking
in the host kitchen and bring aturkey from her home and for a past
friends Giving. When I asked ifshe could just cook it at her house.
She told me that you can eitherlet me cook it in your kitchen
or I'm not coming this year.Now, this would not be a problem
(23:21):
if it was someone who brought rolesor someone other than K. But Ka
makes an amazing turkey, and allof our other friends, let's call him
Jay, has a crush on Kand will not come off Ka baals.
If Jay bailes, will also payto cascade to people wind a bail which
is not something that I really want. I told Kay that she is an
asshole for putting me in this situation, and Kay told me the turkey is
(23:44):
always a pain in the ass tomove. Just let me use her of
it for the day or I'm notcoming. Kay followed up with you would
really be an asshole for ruining thesix year tradition. My partner is not
confrontational. It says that we're bothbeing assholes and making mountains out of mole
hills and the same fucket and lettingKay use the kitchen. But they also
feel like I'm being gassolt. Yeah, I feel like this. What's that
(24:07):
option? It's like everything sucks hereor whatever. Redditt said, She's the
asshole, She's the asshole. Well, they're both assholes, but honestly,
this sounds like a lot of everyonein that story. That's what it's.
That's what it's is. I feellike she may be mad and embellishing what
(24:29):
her friend is saying. I feellike she's just like, well, basically
she told me if you know,like those um she's those TikTok's where it's
like, oh, you just saidthat you hate me. I didn't say
that. I said you can't havethe last oh cookie, that's the same
thing. Because here's the thing,if we're being quite honest, I mean,
(24:52):
I know she's got a small kitchen, but people do it every day.
Yeah. And here's the thing aboutif turkey does take the priority.
Yeah, turkey does take priority.And it basically she's in there, like
you know, I wouldn't give abuck if she comes or not, and
she was just bringing rolls, butI want her to cook the turkey.
Yeah, so unless you want tomake that turkey. I do think if
(25:15):
her friend was that aggressive with it, then it's not cool. But I
think that they're both being assholes topetty assholes to each other. But I
feel like this is only one halfof the story. And I feel and
I feel like with most times thatthere's a he says, she say,
it's embellished. Okay, where areyou? We need to hear the other
(25:36):
part of this story. Seriously,so one person said, First of all,
you are not being gasslet please lookup the term. Second, I
was thinking the same thing before youmentioned. Kay said it. Wow,
it must be a gigantic pain tolook that entire turkey from one house to
another one. It's already cooked andkeep it hot. Let her use your
oven? Have other friends? Sayare your friends right? I mean,
(25:56):
and they can come out and helpout after a shared of if necessary,
I'll clean up the mess with that'swas bothering you. If the oven doesn't
work great and the turkey comes outhalf cooked, that's not your problem.
You already warned k about that.Yeah, but basically her reddit was just
really mad. I think that theyshe said, yeah this she was being
(26:17):
gas lit. Yeah, I knowhow rudd it feels about gaslighting. I
kind of my thought on it wasshe clearly doesn't know what gas lighting means,
but I'm not going to be theone to tell her. So am
I the asshole for not having funat friends? Giving. I was recently
sober, Sally at friends giving,no worries. I can have fun sober,
(26:40):
also just fun to watch others getdrunk and stop making sense. So
we eat dinner and where I sayI do not like sweet potatoes or potatoes
in general. Can we even trustthis bitch? No? I bring out
my pumpkin cheesecake for dessert. Itis delicious and orange. One of the
girls call her SB for selfish bitch. That's why I made something with sweet
(27:03):
potatoes if I don't like them.I said I do not like sweet potatoes
and never made anything with them.Pimp my pumpkin cheesecake and SB takes a
bite and she says, wow,I can't believe I can't even taste the
sweet potato. No, shit,looks like I did some the rightist.
There's no sweet potatoes in it.She's so mad. Why isn't she so
(27:29):
bad? She's so mad? Seriously, bitch calmed down and having good friends.
Later, we start playing games,all laughing, having fun. SB
keeps talking about her star sign andhow it makes sense for her to always
need to be right, not lettinggo of things and being uptight. I
stopped listening at that point, No, your archeological sign. It's not an
(27:52):
excuse for being a ship person onlycares about themselves. As a college educated
and master's degree owner, one withthink that they would know better than to
use astrological science as their argument.I took my phone out and started playing
Frozen free Fall. Thanks to myniece for downloading that onto my phone.
Clearly she's the asshole. Clearly she'shere. Also like, why are you
(28:15):
so worried about? What did thisgirl do to you? Like? Clearly
fucked her man or her woman,or just she's jealous of her for something
really pressed? She's very are pressed? Are you mad? Are you?
Actually? We don't ask because weknow she is hub because you like,
(28:37):
nobody show you love. There's stillon there. Paragraph Oh last, SB
starts talking about miscarriages, ASBI saysShe's never had one, nor have any
of us, but we need totalk about them more. Why the fuck
would we exclamation question mark. Weare here to have fun and not talk
about something none of us have gonethrough. Cannot emp thighs with I mean,
(29:00):
if she had had one, yes, we would all be there and
comfort her to the best of ourability, But none of us has had
one. I stopped and told myfriend I drove with it, it's time
to go. I felt like beinga I felt bad for being a wet
blanket, but I was over theinsane amount of selfish bitchiness. Shatty.
Shotty, you are the only onewith self effish and bitchiness and shatty.
(29:22):
She does have a point that peopleshould talk about miscarriages more because of how
common they are, that people wouldrealize that they're not alone. Also,
so I do, and some butalso friends giving that might not be the
best setting. But also she wasprobably fucking wasted and just thinking about it
(29:45):
like it's not a big deal,It's not the end of the world.
Also, she was playing some Frozenfree Fall on her phone thanks to her
knees who downloaded it. So maybeshe missed the segue into that conversation because
she was being a bitch and ignoringeverybody. True. So yeah, she's
clearly the asshole. Clearly the asshole. Clearly the asshole. What a big
(30:06):
asshole like? It was literally peoplelike copy and paste it because they knew
it was gonna be a dirty delete. And I said, you're the asshole,
college educated owner this in part whyyou should never argue from a standpoint
of authority, like like what abitch? What a bit? Throw a
(30:30):
little slang in it. We coulddo a little chitty chat. Am I
the asshole for refusing to go tofriends giving after my boyfriend bought a pie?
I can't eat. My boyfriend twentyone male, and I nineteen female.
We're going to a small friends givingtonight, mostly his friends. I
(30:51):
can't eat a single one at anyI can't eat a single thing that anyone
is bringing because of religious ethical dietaryrestrictions. I was planning on bringing food
for myself that I could eat,since my boyfriend one to go and we
were going to bring a pie foreveryone. I told him that I would
make it and I get the ingredients. But he called me and said that
he was just going to go tothe store and asked what he needed to
(31:14):
get. I told him just geta pie crust and told him while he
could find it in in specific store, although he could get one almost anywhere.
Instead, he came home from abakery with a whole pie that I
couldn't even eat because he said thestore was too far away. The bakery
was as far away as the grocerystore, and he knew that he didn't
(31:36):
need to worry about the pie inthe first place, because I was going
to do everything. I don't understandwhy he had to go out of his
way to buy something I can't havewhen he wouldn't have even had to lift
a finger for the pumpkin pie thatI was making. It completely excludes me
from having anything except for the lunchboxI was going to bring for myself,
which he knew. I felt hurtand told him that I'm not coming anymore.
(31:56):
He said that I can go tothe store on myself and still bake
the pie that I was playing too, and we could bring both. These
friends always have gatherings and never oncegotten anything that I can eat. I
don't even have that many restrictions tomy diet, so it is super easy
and often cheaper to buy something Ican have. I don't want to pay
for a second food for them justto spend time making it when I can
(32:17):
never eat and eat the food,especially after my boyfriend just went out of
his way to make sure that Ican't even eat what we're already bringing.
He is upset that I'm not coming, but I don't want to go anywhere
or there's nothing for me to do. She's nineteen. Yeah, I could
be the asshole for refusing it togo because I ate the pie after I
already agreed to be there and hada plan for how I could have eaten
(32:39):
it. So edit for clarification becausethere's not enough info. Is this is
rated? She edits that she neveronce asked for accommodations, but but I'm
annoyed that I'm expected to pay fortheir food or bring food for them while
they are never to do this,saying for me, I haven't prepared food
(33:01):
yet because I have been at schooland work. I was planning to do
it after work. This is acommon occurrence with this group of friends.
Every time there's a gallon they're gathering. I spend lots of time and money
making food to share with everyone,So I'm not even reading the rest.
She is not the asshole. Herboyfriend and his bitch ass friends are the
assholes. Because it is not hardto accommodate somebody's religious dietary. Melissa kept
(33:28):
a half kosher kitchen at my babyshower. She did. I want to
know what her restrictions are because mythought is what is going into this food
that you can't eat? But forexample, if it's like made with vanilla,
(33:49):
because if it has the alcohol inthe vanilla. If she's Muslim,
she's not supposed to If she's she'snot supposed to eat that. So like,
but it's every thing like and shesays so, So I'm just curious.
So I'm not saying she's the asshole. I'm just it's also ethical dietary
restriction. Yeah, that vegan.But here's the thing, though, Olivia,
(34:12):
can can you just for five minutesso we could finish and then you
can sing to your little heart's content. So here's the thing, though,
if I'm inviting someone to my home, I won't go out of my way
to make a full course of everythingthat that person one person can eat when
there's gonna be twenty people who eatsomething more. But I'll make sure there
(34:35):
is a plate for them, there'ssomething that they can consume. And so
I definitely get that. I dothink it sucks that she has to bring
her own food everywhere. I alsothey're very young, but like, the
boyfriend is an asshole because he reallycould have just gotten the fucking pie crust
that she asked for, like he'sa fucking man. Yeah, what does
(35:00):
she expect latently disregarding Harry Leaves?Regardless of whether they're religious or ethical.
As a partner to someone, youshould be respecting those boundaries that they have
set forth. And somebody's dietary restrictionsare a huge boundary, regardless of whether
it is for an allergy, itis for a religion, or because you
(35:22):
want to save the animals. No, and I definitely agree with that.
I do think that she's not theasshole in this situation. He clearly is.
I think that she just needs tothrow the whole man away and start
over. Yeah. I was gonnasay throw the pie away, but honestly
throw the man away too. Hebought it, he could take it in.
Go on, go on, shallyou're going to sleep on a fucking
(35:43):
couch and eat that pieless And it'sonly for two days ago. I think
I'm gonna make an account just toum to reply to that. I need
to go find that because here's thething. I looked up Jordan Peterson once
and now I just keep getting JordanPeterson and stuff and Reddit and it's making
me MoMA's idle. Yes all right, guys, everyone have a happy and
(36:07):
healthy holiday. May or greens benot too overcooked and Mary Dam's hit just
right. May your sweet potato piebe bussing Jane, and your mashed potatoes
be nice and creamy. Is itbusting, Jane, it's busting. May
your turkey be moist, Brian,Brian, Brian. And if you're frying
it, please make sure that it'snot frozen, and make sure that that
(36:29):
fire is away from your house now. And also may you catch that deal
and may you catch them z's.We love you and we'll see you in
December December. And also remember thatyou're that bitch, will forever be that
bitch. Drink your water and mangagood no Ganja, oh that too,
(36:57):
Manja and ganja mm two
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